Quick
Reference: Tips for Writing Concise Copy
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Use strong verbs
As Gary Provost states in, 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing, weak verbs
depend on adverbs for their meaning. But strong verbs don't require adverbs,
and thus make writing more concise. They also energize your writing and help
the reader visualize what you're saying. Identify weak verbs in your writing
by searching for adverbs. Determine whether these adverbs are essential or whether
they're just concealing weak verbs. If they are, which is often the case, replace
the adverbs with stronger verbs.
Use
strong nouns
As Gary Provost states in, 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing, weak nouns
usually depend on adjectives for their meaning. So weed through your writing
for adjectives to determine if they're necessary or if they're just concealing
vague nouns. If they are, replace these adjectives with more specific and descriptive
nouns.
But, as Provost cautions in
his text, be careful - specific nouns are more powerful and clear to the reader.
So be sure to choose a noun that best communicates your message.
Avoid
using adjectives and adverbs
Use adjectives and adverbs only if the meaning of your sentence or phrase would
change significantly without their presence. Too often, writers use redundant
adjectives and adverbs. For example, it's redundant to say that someone laughed
happily or ran fast. Laughing implies happiness and running implies quick speed.
Writers also overuse
adjectives and adverbs because they think they sound more impressive. But adjectives
and adverbs usually result in what author William Zinsser terms "clutter."
The less adjectives and adverbs you use in Web writing, the more concise and
clear your writing will be to Web readers. So when you use them, always make
sure they're doing essential work.
Think
clearly
Have a clear idea of what you want to say and how you want to say it before
you begin writing. Also, have a clear understanding of your topic. Wordiness
often stems from a disorganized thoughts and unclear intentions. Remember, your
writing will only reflect what's in your mind. So study your research, and decide
how best to communicate your message. Effective writing will follow your clear
thinking.
Use
the active voice
The active voice not only makes your writing more engaging, but also more concise.
How
the Active Voice Makes Writing Concise
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Passive
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Active
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Informational interviews can be used to help you make a career decision. (12 words) | Informational interviews will help you make a career decision. (9 words) |
If you feel sick after being bitten by a mosquito, you should be checked for the West Nile Virus. (19 words) | Get checked for the West Nile Virus if you feel sick after a mosquito bite. (15 words) |
Avoid the active voice by doing the following:
Identify
redundancies and unnecessary modifiers
Redundancies not only consist of adjectives or adverbs that modify words with
the same meaning, but they also include a variety of "dummy" constructions
such as these:
"Personal" is redundant 99.9%. Writers also unnecessarily use the word "own." For example, phrases such as "your own plan, " "her own schedule," "his own business," are redundant. "Your plan" "her schedule," and "his business," communicate the same idea, and they sound better.
Here are some additional examples of redundant phrases:
Revising
Wordy Phrases
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Wordy
Phrases
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Revisions
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ask the question | ask |
basic principles | principles |
consensus of opinion | opinion |
exactly equal | equal |
hollow tube | tube |
mutual cooperation | cooperation |
past history | history |
still continues | continues |
Identify redundant phrases by searching for adjectives and adverbs. Again, make sure your adjectives and adverbs are essential. If they aren't, do the reader a favor and get rid of them!
Phrases such as "typically" and "very" usually clutter a sentence because these phrases don't sufficiently communicate the idea, or they're redundant. For example, it's not necessary to say that "you'll be totally relieved" or that "she is very angry." Relieved and angry are powerful words in themselves - they don't need modifiers.
But if you need to use stronger terms, do so. But delete the unnecessary modifiers. For example, don't say you that "your mate's annoying tendencies can make you very mad," when you can replace "very mad" with the term "furious." And don't say that "applying for financial aid can be a bit confusing," when "baffling" concisely communicates the same idea as "a bit confusing."
Additionally, modifiers such as "sort of," "kind of," "a little bit" etc. are just plain unnecessary. The meanings of these phrases are vague. What does it mean to be "sort of sick," "kind of mad," "pretty relieved?" Since these phrases are open to interpretation, avoid them. When you write HelpGrams, the reader should understand every word on your page. So use concrete words. They'll strengthen your writing.
Another class of redundant phrases include those with unnecessary words (wordy phrases). The easiest remedy for these phrases is to simply replace them with fewer words.
Here are some examples of wordy phrases from Strunk and White's Elements of Style:
Revising
Wordy Phrases
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Wordy
Phrase
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Revision
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as to whether | whether |
he is a man who | he |
in a hasty manner | hastily (adverbs can usually replace phrases with "manner" in them) |
in terms of | regarding |
the fact that
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because
due to despite the because, since |
one of the most | the best |
the reason why is that | why |
there is no doubt that | no doubt |
this is a subject that | this subject |
trembling, which is a typical symptom of | trembling, a typical symptom of |
the doctor, who is a member of . . . | the doctor, a member of . . . |
Here are some additional examples:
Revising Wordy Expressions |
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Wordy
Expression
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Revision
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a majority of | most |
avail yourself | use |
give encouragement to | encourage |
is equipped with | has |
in the nature of | like |
in view of the fact that | since |
make an adjustment in | adjust |
on the order of magnitude of | about |
large number of | many, lots of |
take into consideration | consider |
Below are more examples of easily-revisable wordy phrases from William Zinsser's, On Writing Well, and from the Power Tools for Technical Communication:
Revising
Wordy Expressions
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Wordy
Phrase
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Revision
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a large number of | many |
at that point in time | then |
at this point in time | now |
for the purpose of | for |
in the event of | in case |
in close proximity to | near |
in some cases | sometimes |
it would be advisable to | you should |
has the ability to | can |
until such time as | until |
with the possible exception of | except |
within the realm of possibility | possible |
you totally lack the ability to | you can't |
These phrases are redundant because they introduce what you're going to say. But the introduction isn't necessary. Don't tell the reader "the truth is," state your truth. Don't say "it should be explained that," explain it. Omitting these types of phrases from your writing will make it not only more concise, but also more direct and easy-to-follow.
Revising
Wordy Phrases
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Wordy
Phrase
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Revision
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change up | change |
check up | check |
free up | free |
let up | free, release |
set up | arrange, schedule, organize |
These phrases require prepositions that are often unnecessary and sound wordy. So avoid the above phrases and any other types of similar phrases.
Avoid
redundant sentences
Redundant sentences communicate the same ideas as your previous sentences. But
each sentence in your HelpGram should serve a distinct function. So delete redundant
sentences in your HelpGrams. The monotony of redundant material sedates the
reader. Although it may be difficult to strip your writing down to its most
distinct components, you'll be doing the reader a favor!
Simplify
your language
Simplifying your language involves replacing wordy phrases with concise ones
and complex or long words with short words. Examine your writing for long words
that can be replaced with short ones. Usually words with one or two syllables
sound better and less cumbersome than words with four or more syllables. So,
as a rule, aim to use words that don't exceed three syllables. Long words usually
make writing more difficult to read and less concise. Since you're writing HelpGrams
for impatient Web readers who scan, it's important to use familiar, yet descriptive
words. But use the three-syllable rule only as a guideline for simplifying your
language - don't take it too literally. For example, it's fine to use words
like "information" or "university."
Also, examine your writing for jargon that can be replaced with familiar terms, and for wordy phrases that can be replaced with simpler or fewer terms. Also, DON'T use pretentious language. If you wouldn't comfortably use a certain word in a conversation, don't write it.
In addition, avoid faddish language. For example, don't make adjectives nouns (i.e. greats, notables), and don't make nouns verbs (i.e. to host, prioritize, finalize).
Simplifying
Your Language
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Long
Word
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Revision
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accomplish | do |
assist | help |
attempt | try |
commence | start |
component | part |
construct | build |
utilize | use |
deficient | lack |
dialogue | talk |
endeavor | try |
equitable | fair |
facilitate | ease, help |
implement | do |
infrequent | rare |
individual | man or woman |
initial | first |
initiate | begin |
numerous | many |
obtain | get |
occur |
happen |
optimal | best |
relinquish | yield, give up |
remainder | rest |
terminate | end |
transpire | occur, happen |
requisite | required |
sufficient | enough |
Be direct
If you fail to be direct, you may end up writing wordy prose. So to be direct, follow the procedures below:
Avoid
noun clusters
Noun clusters are wordy forms of jargon that clutter your writing. According
to the Power Tools for Technical Communication, you create noun clusters
when you jam two or more nouns together to form a phrase that conveys a single
idea. As William Zinsser states in, On Writing Well, "clutter is
the ponderous euphemism that turns a slum into a depressed socioeconomic
area, garbage collectors into waste disposal areas, and the town
dump into the volume reduction unit." So identify noun clusters
in your writing, and replace them with simple language that's more concise and
reader-friendly.
Befriend
the backspace key
If you're having so much trouble revising a sentence or a phrase that it gives
you a migraine, get rid of it. Chances are, you don't need it.
Keep
your paragraphs short
If you use more than one paragraph in your expert statement, remember that each
one shouldn't exceed four sentences. Short paragraphs make your writing look
more scanable and inviting to the reader.
Avoid
"be" verbs (is, was, were, are etc.)
"Be" verbs often signal the passive voice. When they're not used in
passive constructions, they can make phrases less concise. It's fine to use
"be" verbs occasionally, but avoid doing so sentence after sentence.
Usually you can replace "be" verbs with stronger phrases.
Make
sure every word on your page is doing necessary work
Ask yourself, does every word in my HelpGram serve an essential purpose? If
you find any unnecessary words (and most likely you'll find a fair share in
your first two or three drafts), eliminate them. Wordiness burdens the reader
and hinders your chances of holding the reader's attention.
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100
Ways to Improve Your Writing
On
Writing Well
The
Elements of Style
The
Power Tools for Technical Communication