Engaging the Reader: How to Write Concise Copy

Use strong verbs
As Gary Provost states in, 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing, weak verbs depend on adverbs for their meaning. But strong verbs don't require adverbs, and thus make writing more concise. They also energize your writing and help the reader visualize what you're saying. Identify weak verbs in your writing by searching for adverbs. Determine whether these adverbs are essential or whether they're just concealing weak verbs. If they are, which is often the case, replace the adverbs with stronger verbs.

Use strong nouns
As Gary Provost states in, 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing, weak nouns usually depend on adjectives for their meaning. So weed through your writing for adjectives to determine if they're necessary or if they're just concealing vague nouns. If they are, replace these adjectives with more specific and descriptive nouns.

But, as Provost cautions in his text, be careful - specific nouns are more powerful and clear to the reader. So be sure to choose a noun that best communicates your message.

Avoid using adjectives and adverbs
Use adjectives and adverbs only if the meaning of your sentence or phrase would change significantly without their presence. Too often, writers use redundant adjectives and adverbs. For example, it's redundant to say that someone laughed happily or ran fast. Laughing implies happiness and running implies quick speed.

Writers also overuse adjectives and adverbs because they think they sound more impressive. But adjectives and adverbs usually result in what author William Zinsser terms "clutter." The less adjectives and adverbs you use in Web writing, the more concise and clear your writing will be to Web readers. So when you use them, always make sure they're doing essential work.

Think clearly
Have a clear idea of what you want to say and how you want to say it before you begin writing. Also, have a clear understanding of your topic. Wordiness often stems from a disorganized thoughts and unclear intentions. Remember, your writing will only reflect what's in your mind. So study your research, and decide how best to communicate your message. Effective writing will follow your clear thinking.

Use the active voice
The active voice not only makes your writing more engaging, but also more concise.

How the Active Voice Makes Writing Concise
Passive	Active
Informational interviews can be used to help you make a career decision. (12 words)	Informational interviews will help you make a career decision. (9 words)
If you feel sick after being bitten by a mosquito, you should be checked for the West Nile Virus. (19 words)	Get checked for the West Nile Virus if you feel sick after a mosquito bite. (15 words)

Avoid the active voice by doing the following:

• Use the present tense.
  
  
• Make your subjects do the action - don't let them be acted upon.
  
  
• Identify "be" verbs (was, were, be, are etc.), as writers commonly use them in passive constructions.

Identify redundancies and unnecessary modifiers
Redundancies not only consist of adjectives or adverbs that modify words with the same meaning, but they also include a variety of "dummy" constructions such as these:

• a bit
  
  
• a little bit
  
  
• in a sense
  
  
• kind of
  
  
• personal friend
  
  
• pretty much
  
  
• sort of
  
  
• too
  
  
• totally
  
  
• very
  
  
• your own
  

"Personal" is redundant 99.9%. Writers also unnecessarily use the word "own." For example, phrases such as "your own plan, " "her own schedule," "his own business," are redundant. "Your plan" "her schedule," and "his business," communicate the same idea, and they sound better.

Here are some additional examples of redundant phrases:

Revising Wordy Phrases
Wordy Phrases	Revisions
ask the question	ask
basic principles	principles
consensus of opinion	opinion
exactly equal	equal
hollow tube	tube
mutual cooperation	cooperation
past history	history
still continues	continues

Identify redundant phrases by searching for adjectives and adverbs. Again, make sure your adjectives and adverbs are essential. If they aren't, do the reader a favor and get rid of them!

Phrases such as "typically" and "very" usually clutter a sentence because these phrases don't sufficiently communicate the idea, or they're redundant. For example, it's not necessary to say that "you'll be totally relieved" or that "she is very angry." Relieved and angry are powerful words in themselves - they don't need modifiers.

But if you need to use stronger terms, do so. But delete the unnecessary modifiers. For example, don't say you that "your mate's annoying tendencies can make you very mad," when you can replace "very mad" with the term "furious." And don't say that "applying for financial aid can be a bit confusing," when "baffling" concisely communicates the same idea as "a bit confusing."

Additionally, modifiers such as "sort of," "kind of," "a little bit" etc. are just plain unnecessary. The meanings of these phrases are vague. What does it mean to be "sort of sick," "kind of mad," "pretty relieved?" Since these phrases are open to interpretation, avoid them. When you write HelpGrams, the reader should understand every word on your page. So use concrete words. They'll strengthen your writing.

Another class of redundant phrases include those with unnecessary words (wordy phrases). The easiest remedy for these phrases is to simply replace them with fewer words.

Here are some examples of wordy phrases from Strunk and White's Elements of Style:

Revising Wordy Phrases
Wordy Phrase	Revision
as to whether	whether
he is a man who	he
in a hasty manner	hastily (adverbs can usually replace phrases with "manner" in them)
in terms of	regarding
the fact that because of the fact that due to the fact that in spite of the fact that owing to the fact that	because due to despite the because, since
one of the most	the best
the reason why is that	why
there is no doubt that	no doubt
this is a subject that	this subject
trembling, which is a typical symptom of	trembling, a typical symptom of
the doctor, who is a member of . . .	the doctor, a member of . . .

Here are some additional examples:

Revising Wordy Expressions
Wordy Expression	Revision
a majority of	most
avail yourself	use
give encouragement to	encourage
is equipped with	has
in the nature of	like
in view of the fact that	since
make an adjustment in	adjust
on the order of magnitude of	about
large number of	many, lots of
take into consideration	consider

Below are more examples of easily-revisable wordy phrases from William Zinsser's, On Writing Well, and from the Power Tools for Technical Communication:

Revising Wordy Expressions
Wordy Phrase	Revision
a large number of	many
at that point in time	then
at this point in time	now
for the purpose of	for
in the event of	in case
in close proximity to	near
in some cases	sometimes
it would be advisable to	you should
has the ability to	can
until such time as	until
with the possible exception of	except
within the realm of possibility	possible
you totally lack the ability to	you can't

Explain, but avoid telling the reader how you're going to go about it

Avoid the following phrases:

• It is interesting to note that . . .
  
  
• It should be explained that . . .
  
  
• It should be noted that . . .
  
  
• It should be pointed out that . . .
  
  
• The fact is . . .
  
  
• The reality is . . .
  
  
• The truth is . . .
  

These phrases are redundant because they introduce what you're going to say. But the introduction isn't necessary. Don't tell the reader "the truth is," state your truth. Don't say "it should be explained that," explain it. Omitting these types of phrases from your writing will make it not only more concise, but also more direct and easy-to-follow.

Avoid phrases that require prepositions attached to them

Don't use phrases such as these:

 

Revising Wordy Phrases
Wordy Phrase	Revision
change up	change
check up	check
free up	free
let up	free, release
set up	arrange, schedule, organize

These phrases require prepositions that are often unnecessary and sound wordy. So avoid the above phrases and any other types of similar phrases.

Avoid redundant sentences
Redundant sentences communicate the same ideas as your previous sentences. But each sentence in your HelpGram should serve a distinct function. So delete redundant sentences in your HelpGrams. The monotony of redundant material sedates the reader. Although it may be difficult to strip your writing down to its most distinct components, you'll be doing the reader a favor!

Simplify your language
Simplifying your language involves replacing wordy phrases with concise ones and complex or long words with short words. Examine your writing for long words that can be replaced with short ones. Usually words with one or two syllables sound better and less cumbersome than words with four or more syllables. So, as a rule, aim to use words that don't exceed three syllables. Long words usually make writing more difficult to read and less concise. Since you're writing HelpGrams for impatient Web readers who scan, it's important to use familiar, yet descriptive words. But use the three-syllable rule only as a guideline for simplifying your language - don't take it too literally. For example, it's fine to use words like "information" or "university."

Also, examine your writing for jargon that can be replaced with familiar terms, and for wordy phrases that can be replaced with simpler or fewer terms. Also, DON'T use pretentious language. If you wouldn't comfortably use a certain word in a conversation, don't write it.

In addition, avoid faddish language. For example, don't make adjectives nouns (i.e. greats, notables), and don't make nouns verbs (i.e. to host, prioritize, finalize).

In summary, simplify your language by doing the following:

• Use the three-syllable rule as a guideline for simplifying your language.
  
  
• Tighten wordy phrases.
  
  
• Eliminate jargon.
  
  
• Only use words that you would comfortably use in a conversation.
  
  
• Don't use faddish language.

Here are some examples of ways to simplify your language from the Power Tools for Technical Communication:

 

Simplifying Your Language
Long Word	Revision
accomplish	do
assist	help
attempt	try
commence	start
component	part
construct	build
utilize	use
deficient	lack
dialogue	talk
endeavor	try
equitable	fair
facilitate	ease, help
implement	do
infrequent	rare
individual	man or woman
initial	first
initiate	begin
numerous	many
obtain	get
occur	happen
optimal	best
relinquish	yield, give up
remainder	rest
terminate	end
transpire	occur, happen
requisite	required
sufficient	enough

Be direct

If you fail to be direct, you may end up writing wordy prose. So to be direct, follow the procedures below:

• Don't beat around the bush. State your main point up front, and write a title that reflects it.
  
  
• Don't keep the reader in suspense. Suspense is appropriate for other forms of writing, but not for HelpGrams. Since Web readers have short attention spans, it's important to capture their attention immediately and to keep it.
  
  
• Use conversational language, and avoid jargon. You will learn more about how to write conversationally in the next section. For now, just know that using language that's inappropriate for our audience is another form of being indirect. To effectively communicate with people, you must speak their language.

Avoid noun clusters
Noun clusters are wordy forms of jargon that clutter your writing. According to the Power Tools for Technical Communication, you create noun clusters when you jam two or more nouns together to form a phrase that conveys a single idea. As William Zinsser states in, On Writing Well, "clutter is the ponderous euphemism that turns a slum into a depressed socioeconomic area, garbage collectors into waste disposal areas, and the town dump into the volume reduction unit." So identify noun clusters in your writing, and replace them with simple language that's more concise and reader-friendly.

Befriend the backspace key
If you're having so much trouble revising a sentence or a phrase that it gives you a migraine, get rid of it. Chances are, you don't need it.

Keep your paragraphs short
If you use more than one paragraph in your expert statement, remember that each one shouldn't exceed four sentences. Short paragraphs make your writing look more scanable and inviting to the reader.

Avoid "be" verbs (is, was, were, are etc.)
"Be" verbs often signal the passive voice. When they're not used in passive constructions, they can make phrases less concise. It's fine to use "be" verbs occasionally, but avoid doing so sentence after sentence. Usually you can replace "be" verbs with stronger phrases.

Examples of "be" verb constructions to avoid using repeatedly include the following:

• are from
  
  
• it is
  
  
• is through
  
  
• is where
  
  
• there are
  
  
• there is
  
  
• there was
  
  
• there were
  
  
• was by
  
  

Make sure every word on your page is doing necessary work
Ask yourself, does every word in my HelpGram serve an essential purpose? If you find any unnecessary words (and most likely you'll find a fair share in your first two or three drafts), eliminate them. Wordiness burdens the reader and hinders your chances of holding the reader's attention.

100 Ways to Improve Your Writing
On Writing Well
The Elements of Style
The Power Tools for Technical Communication