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1.Mar.4
71st day of winter
11th day of the moon
48th year of the space age

Tijuana, Baja California, Mexico

AM still FEELING A LITTLE sorry for myself since Tere left Saturday morning on the bus to Texas from San Diego.  She got there last night, if schedules were adhered to the wall of fact like glue.  Gonna call her tonight and give her the news in paragraph #2 here:

It is certain that I shall be going north to Seattle (where Satan has his Sicromoft HQ) this week, to help my brother and his family move south again to southern California.  He'll drive the car and I'll drive the rental truck full of their furniture et al.  My niece Valentine (her birthday Feb.14th) will be riding with him, but my sister-in-law and nephew have already gone south to grandmother's house - her mother, not ours - and are waiting.  I am glad that I can actually do something to help them - having thrown away my career as a bureaucrat to pursue poetry I have since then never been able to give them what I want to or even go north to see them until now, when an anonymous donor rang up and said, hey, I read what you wrote, can we help?  Yes, I said, buy me a ticket north.

So I am going this week and will drive back with my bro and niece next week.

ALL OF WHICH Means I won't be here in Tijuana when my love returns from Texas Tamaulipas. 

world of frontera stretches two thousand miles from California to Texas-Tamaulipas and I only write one stone west on this long chain of dusty pearls and this Tijuana gem contains more than can fit in my pen I wrote three years ago (no, t'was more than three) little dreaming I would fall in love with a woman from the other end of the border, the frontier, the international line

I never know, sometimes, if I am talking about only the local or the long-distance.  Some phenomena are both.  But this below that I have been working on - written in Spanish and NOT translated into English - is about the geography and the double-meaning in the word "cruces" that is, the word "crosses" as in take up your cross and cross over the line, m'ijo....

POR UN LADO HAY SIERRA
Y POR EL OTRO
               MAR

Y ENTRE AMBOS EL LITORAL
DELETREADO
               POR

CRUCES         .

With any luck I will be writing to you from a cafe in Seattle in a couple of days, yes.

the earth does not belong to us
we belong to the earth

[-Seattle, the chief-]

With any luck I shall

With any luck I will be writing to you from a cafe in Seattle in a couple of days, yes.

don't you just LOVE cut&paste yes heh heh ;-)

LIke I SaId the problem is I WON'T BE here when Tere gets back and that is bummmmmming me out a bit....

But then again, it was she who kvetched at me for not going to see my brother when he was down week before last for a day or two but I knew, I sensed, I intuited I would see him soon enough and lo and behold....

Today is the day after the 29th... how silly of her to go away on the 28th... she could have commanded me yesterday to do anything and Sadie Hawkins' law says I should have obeyed but she went away the very day before and POOF!  Now she must wait another four years heh heh

Oh God sometimes I hate love.  But life would be very boring without it, eh?

And after two marriages that failed for one reason or another or a thirdother or fourther, and eight years after the second (to la furiosa) I am ready to be ruled again by the better half.

Better half, yes.  Let me be perfectly plain:

I do not believe that men and women are equal.  Women are superior.  There, I said it.

Having said it I must confess I like being male very much, and like nothing better than sticking it in to one who is not only letting but asking me to, and... well... you know.  Or you should.  And if you're gay, well, let's just say I'm a top.  Heh....

But no, there are nothing like women.  And what they can do for us, and what they give us men... first, as mothers, and then, as mothers of our children....

(Insert "awwwwww" here....)

I remember the night my son was born some years back, some twenty some years back, I felt such a sense of shock and awe and love and respect and gratitude that my life has never been the same.  Never mind that the first wife (la amarga) carried a torch for someone else (and got back together with him a few years later after we separated), never mind that, I still feel a deeeeep and abiding sense of gratitude for what she did for us.

But that having been said I do NOT want any more children.  My poems are the only other children I shall ever have after my only son.  And well, yes, I do have a stepdaughter but don't see her because I really don't want to see the furiosa again, no.

But no more children.  Not if we can help it.  And we better help it because believe it or not at our age, BOTH of us are still fertile.

And nature, as JURrrrrrasic Park would teach us, always finds away to trick us into furthering HER purposes.  Because we are her purpose.

Bla bla bla lengua de chicarron asi es....

And so, on that note of rabid confession, I shall say OKEI BAI

OKAY Bye

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