Beloved Pain
by Cista

Glossy eyes, empty gaze
Lost in this disharmonic embrace
Aching, sleepless day and neverending night
How can I win when I don't want to fight?
A merciless god I've come to praise

Like resting on a razorblade
Do you know the name of the creature you've made?
I named it Missing because it's all I've got
You're always there, mostly when you're not
My beloved pain is never to pass, never to fade

You're the needle, you're the sting
A drug to show me, make me, give me everything
You're the cussed out poisonous pill
Yet not as much as you are the hysterical thrill
You're my devilish claws, my angel wings

I've been hurting forever for you
Still every fucking day the hurt is brand new
And you are laughing with that gorgeous grin
Beat me, rape me, kill me, I'm willing to forgive any sin
For you are making my dreams come true

Shivering with cold as soon as you're near
My love, you are my biggest fear
Everytime I see you, I'm reminded that you're only there to disappear
And how the hell can I live without you here?
I adore the taste of my bitter tears

My body tangled with yours, unbreakable chains
I cannot resist this cruel, everlasting reign
The tender caress, I fall asleep with your smile
And I believe you love me too - for a while
Although when I wake up, I'll be left alone again

And you will be there, simply because you're not
I cling to memories, while you have already forgot
My god, this pain is tearing me apart
But I'll never regret you breaking my heart