This is my entry for the 'most realistic story', 'best character development' and 'most romantic' categories. Hope you like it. It is based around the character 'Muscle Man Pedestrian' (renamed to 'Strong Man' to protect his identity) from Jackson Square in GK1
DAY 1
***
It had been a tough night for strong man. He was having those dreams again! He'd be walking around a park, and this guy in a strange black costume would approach him. He'd start copying his movements, until strong man became really annoyed. Every night it was the same, he'd wake up in a cold sweat, and shout: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
He walked out into the shop.
Grace: "I've got messages when you want 'em."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Grace: "Your pal detective Mosely called, and told you to come down to the station as soon as possible. He said they were going to interview a guy about those voodoo murders."
Grace paused.
Grace: "Say, he wouldn't be helping you on that voodoo book you're researching?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Strong man picked up the paper. He checked his horoscope.
*Big storms on the horizon. Proceed carefully, and look out for demons etc.*
Strong man ripped the paper into 1000 pieces accidentally, because of his enormous strength.
Grace: "You should listen to what your horoscope tells you, strong man."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Strong man headed for the door.
Grace: "Have fun."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
***
Strong man thought he'd go down to the station and check on his pal Detective Mosely. No doubt this interview would prove to be good material for his book. The desk sergeant was gruff.
Desk Sgt: "I'm sorry, Mosely's at a crime scene."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Desk Sgt: "I'd really love to help, but I just can't tell you where he is."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Desk Sgt: "Well, bye."
***
Strong man headed for Jackson Square. When he arrived, he noticed it was the same park as in his dream! Circles in circles, wheels within wheels. And there was that weird black guy... just like in his dream. Now he could see him clearly. He was a mime.
Mime: "..."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
The mime started copying strong man's movements. This gave him an idea. He walked over to a motorcycle cop who was stationed in the park, and let the mime do the rest. The cop chased after the mime, and strong man picked up the radio. There were two copy discussing the location a crime scene. That must be where Mosely is! He quickly headed for the Lake.
***
As he arrived, the police were just finishing up for the day. Mosely came over and spoke to him:
Mosely: "Don't tell anyone I let you see this."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Mosely pulled up the tarpaulin. Underneath laid the mutilated body of the latest victim, his heart torn clean out.
Strong man felt like he was going to be sick, but managed to hold it in. Suddenly a huge black limo pulled up on the roadside right next to he and Mosely.
The window slowly rolled down.
Malia: "Good evening detectives. What happened here?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
For a moment they just stared into each others eyes, but animal attraction gave way to reason, and the strange woman left.
Mosely: "Forget it, she way outa you're league."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Mosely: "Well, time to get the meat wagon rolling. See you in the morning."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
***
DAY 2
***
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
He woke up with a jolt. It was those nightmares again. God, what did they mean? Each time somehow a little different...
Grace: "I got Maila's address for you. Here it is."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Grace: "Bye!"
Strong man headed over to the police station.
Mosely: "So I already told ya, the case is closed!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Mosely: "Gee it's hot in here. Are you hot?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Mosely: "I need a drink you stay there!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Strong man quickly grabbed Mosely's badge out of this coat pocket.
Mosely: "Here's that coffee you wanted."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
***
Strong man left Mosely to enjoy his coffee. He headed straight for Maila's house. A tall, no nonsense butler answered the door.
Butler: "I can only let you see Ms. Gedde if you have official business."
Strong man showed him Mosely's badge.
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
He was in!
Malia house was very grand. Lots of nice statues, and plenty of old books. Just like he collected! There was a beautiful statue in the corner. Strong man inspected it, but being so strong, accidentally shattered it.
Maila: "You wanted something detective?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Malia: "Only when I read the papers. Say you aren't really a detective, are you?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Malia: "You're lucky I don't report you to the police. I'll have Robert show you out."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
***
DAY 3
***
Strong man awoke with a jolt. He realized he hadn't visited Gran in ages. He went over straight away.
Gran: "How nice to see you dear! Please, sit down."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Gran: "I *would* like you to clean out the attic, if it's not too much trouble..."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Gran: "Be careful of the dust!"
Gran always fussed about things like that.
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
The attic was full of useless junk. He was just about to leave, when he spotted a small sketchbook lying on a chair. In it were drawings, straight from his dream. That was strange...
An antique clock sat on an old steamer trunk. Strong man found a small key in its side, but when he tried to turn it, the clock fell to pieces, because of his enormous strength. In the rubble, he found some old letters.
Gran had lied to him!
Gran: "I never told you dear, but your grandfather was actually German. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
It was time to go.
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Gran: "Bye, and good luck."
***
Strong man wanted to check out some more of those voodoo shops. He found one, the 'Dixieland drug store'. Its owner was a small, thin man who called himself Willie walker.
Willie: "Cabrit Sans Cor..."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Willie: "Hey! I never said that!"
Strong man went to pat Willie on the shoulder, but accidentally broke every bone in his body, because of his enormous strength. On the way out, he picked up a crocodile mask from the shelf.
***
The next stop was a voodoo museum. A tall, imposing man, Dr. John, was very helpful.
Dr. John: "Would you like to know about current voodoo, or historical voodoo?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Strong man saw a few poles on the ground, they were marked:
'wishing stumps'
Strong man rubbed as hard as he could.
*Do you want to eat my fist?*
he thought... maybe it would come true!
but the stump just broke in half, because of strong man's enormous strength.
Looking around the rest of the museum, he spied a large snake in a cage. He was just about to ask Dr. John about it, when the lights went out! Something fell on his shoulders. The snake!
Snake: "Hisssssssss"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Strong man easily tossed the snake off his shoulders, and ate it.
Dr. John: "We are closed for today. I am sorry about that, I sometimes let him wander the museum..."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Dr. John: "Goodbye."
***
DAY 4
***
Strong Man got a call from an old man in Germany called Wolfgang Ritter. He decided to call him back. As he punched in the numbers, he accidentally broke the phone, so he had to get Grace to dial for him on her phone.
Wolfgang: "You must come to Germany straight away! You must be Shattenjager!"
The old coot was stark raving mad!
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Wolfgang: "I am very ill, you are our last hope!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Wolfgang: "If you are insistent on staying there, at least try to find Tetelo's remains. They should be in the cemetery."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
The phone went dead.
***
The cemetery was very gothic and dark. A nice old man tended the garden, his name was Tousann Gervis.
Gervis: "These folks aren't going anywhere! They sometimes act up at night though!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Gervis: "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but sometimes people leave things around Marie Laveu's tomb, MALE parts if you get my meanin'"
Strong man looked at the Laveu tomb. On its side were a series of marks. He copied them down onto a piece of paper, and head further into the cemetery.
He arrived at a large tomb, marked 'Gedde'. Someone was leaving!
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Maila: "I'm sorry, I just can't see you... family commitments."
Strong man was shattered. He knelt down and cried.
THAT NIGHT...
Malia entered the shop.
Maila: "I just had to see you."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Maila: "I... I don't know what it is about you."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Maila: "Just shut up and kiss me!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
***
DAY 5
***
Grace was looking peeved.
Grace: "You slept with her last night, didn't you!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Grace: "Well, it's your life. By the way, there's lecture today a Tulane uni. Its about voodoo."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Grace: "Hmpf!"
***
The lecture was just starting. Strong man took a seat near the door. The lecturer's name was Hartridge.
Hartridge: "Voodoo people dance and sing..."
Strong man yawned.
Hartridge: "blah blah blah"
Strong man fell asleep.
*get in*
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
*get in the coffin*
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
*get in!*
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
SUDDENLY, THE LECTURE WAS OVER
***
Hartridge look interested in the pattern from the crime scene.
Hartridge: "I'm so excited about this pattern. Would you mind if I took a photocopy?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Hartridge: "Ill call when I have more information."
***
DAY 6
***
Strong man had another nightmare. It was scary.
Strong man looked at the marks from the tomb. They looked like a voodoo code, so he went to a voodooine. Her name was Magentia Moonbeam.
Magentia: "They look like some sort of voodoo code. This says FRESH CASH I think..."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Magentia: "Do you want me to dance with my snake?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Magentia danced, then sat.
Magentia: "Seeker, I sense that you think I am hungry!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Magentia had a way of being psychic that baffled strong man. He left.
***
As he was walking though the park, he spotted the guy Mosely had been interviewing the other day. His name was Crash.
Crash: "Cough, Hack, Cough!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Crash slunk away into the cathedral. Strong man followed, and approached him sitting in a pew.
Crash: "Just leave me alone, can't you see I'm dying!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Crash: "Okay, okay. They play rada drums, that's how they communicate. They know everything! Damballah!!!!!!!" *cough*
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Crash looked a little crazy. He coughed twice more and died.
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
But crash did not answer...
Strong man figured from the drums that there was going to be a conclave tonight at the bayou. He went there and looked around until he found it.
The drums were getting to his head, making him think that maybe he wanted to eat his own fist. But finally he reached the site.
Dr. John: "Welcome, Brother Crocodile."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Dr. John went around spraying everybody with a white powder. Meanwhile, a woman emerged. It was Maila! Strong man ran up to her and tore her mask off, but because of his enormous strength, accidentally tore all her clothes off.
Maila: "You!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Maila became Tetelo!
Tetelo: "I can smell you from here! You smell like... a gym. Do you work out?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Tetelo: "Die!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Strong man was knocked to the ground, but Grace rescued him.
***
DAY 7
***
Strong woke up and called his uncle in Germany.
Wolfgang: "You say Tetelo is there? She must have the talisman and other things. Go get them!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Wolfgang: "Good luck, Shattenjager."
***
The cemetery was deserted. He entered the Gedde tomb. He looked around, the got knocked out!
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
When he came to, strong man opened a draw with the veve on it. Inside was...
MOSELY!
He got knocked out again.
When he came to, strong man opened a draw with the veve on it. Inside was...
MOSELY'S WALLET!
He grabbed it, but was knocked out again.
When he came to, strong man opened a drawer with the veve on it. Inside was...
NOTHING!
He closed the draw, and was knocked out again.
When he came to for the last time, he left.
***
Strong man flew to Germany by flapping his strong arms all the way. He arrived at the castle, and was greeted by a small woman. Her name was Gerde.
Gerde: "Would you like me to take your coat for you?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Gerde took his coat, sat, and peeled potatoes.
Gerde: "The upstairs bedroom is your now. Wolfgang told me before he went to die... er... I mean before he left."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Gerde: "I will eat later, once I have finished with these potatoes."
***
Strong man entered the bedroom. There was a beautiful window on the side. He opened to see the view, but the entire left wall of the castle fell down because of his enormous strength.
Gerde shouted from downstairs: "Argh! Another renovation that needs doing!"
Strong man thought he'd wash his hand in the snow and cut his hair for fun, so he did.
***
Strong man went downstairs. There was a chapel that he hadn't noticed before.
Gerde: "The 6 panels in there describe the initiation ceremony. I am sure Wolfgang wanted you to initiate yourself, so you don't stay a lame dog, no?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
***
The chapel was dominated by a large stain glass window depicting the titanic struggle between St. George and the dragon. Strong man knelt an the altar, and accidentally, and put a bowl on it.
Because of his enormous strength, he accidentally cut himself, and in doing so fulfilled the 5th panel's requirements.
He pulled an old initiation scroll out of his jeans pocket, and read:
SCROLL:
"Do you want to eat my fist, do you want to eat my fist?
Do you want to eat my fist, do you want to eat my fist?
Do you want to eat my fist, do you want to eat my fist?"
***
That night, strong man had a dream...
***
He was standing in the chapel, and a dragon burst through the window.
Dragon: "Your soul smells, Strong Man. You seek to be Shattenjager?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Dragon: "Now you ask for purification, you shall have it!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
The dragon shot flames at strong man, burning his strong body.
Dragon: "HA HA HA"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Strong man was fed up with this. He went to shake hands with the dragon, but because of his enormous strength, the dragon shriveled and turned into a mirror image of himself!
Mirror Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
The mirror image shrunk again into a key, and strong man woke up.
***
DAY 8
***
Strong man entered the library with the key from his dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The library was full of books, so strong man looked at them. One in particular caught his attention, because it had pictures in it, and Strong man couldn't read.
It was a picture of a snake mound in Africa, so he went there.
***
DAY 9
***
Strong man arrived at the snake mound, not expecting to find anything. He walked around for a while, bringing back bad memories of his days when he used to just walk around Jackson square for no reason. He put his finger in a some holes in the wall, and zombies started attacking him!
Zombie: "Argh!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Strong man went up to the zombies one by one, and introduced himself. But when he went to shake their hands, they shattered! How strange...
Uncle Wofgang appeared, and led him into the inner chamber.
Wolfgang: "It is unfortunate that we finally meet under these circumstances. I'm afraid I can't talk for long cause I'm old and near death... please understand."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Wolfgang: "You must go into the next room and cut out the zombie's heart. I am growing too old for this business etc..."
Strong man headed for the adjacent room, the tension building because the screen faded in and out strangely slower than before.
He cut open the zombie with his teeth, and grabbed the heart.
While Strong Man was doing this, Wolfgang ripped his own heart out so that the table might open.
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
But Wolfgang didn't answer... he was dead.
Strong man, using his enormous strength, lifted up the table and grabbed the talisman. He spoke to Tetelo, and he was very angry:
Strong Man: "DO YOU WANT TO EAT MY FIST?"
***
Day 10 (the last day)
***
Strong man headed for the bookshop. Grace was gone! Someone else was here. He grabbed his talisman, and warned the intruder:
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Mosely: "Hey, Its only me bud. we've gotta save Gracie!"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Mosely: "You leave a tracker at the entrance to the honfour, and ill come later once everything safe. Kapish?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Mosely: "Hey, good luck pal."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
***
Strong man went to church and found the honfour by accidentally sticking his thumb in a knothole in the wall. What a stupid puzzle, who'd have thought of that!
Strong man looked around. The honfour was shaped exactly like the snake mound, except it was all pink. Strong man liked that color, because it was the color of his shirt.
He found Grace. She was going to be sacrificed!
He gently laid the talisman over her still body, hoping its supposed healing properties would kick in soon.
Grace: "Wh... where am I?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Grace: "Oh, its you! Where's Mosely?"
Mosely: "Here I am. I got here etc..."
Strong man put on a wolf costume.
Grace: "Say, that's strange. Why are you wearing that wolf costume."
Mosely: "Say, that's strange. Why are you wearing that wolf costume."
Strong Man: "Do you BOTH want to eat my fist?"
The door slid open. Dr. John! (the baddie).
Dr. John: "Come get killed now."
Grace: "Okay, I mean, ..."
Mosely: "Okay, just let me get my gun."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
***
The ritual had already begun. Maila came out and danced a bit, strong man liked it when she danced, cause he thought she was a good dancer, and that maybe she should join the local ballet.
Mosely: she's being ridden."
Strong Man: "SHHHHHH, Do you want to eat my fist?"
Tetelo: "Oh great Badagris, take this sacrifice!"
Tetelo plunged the dagger towards Grace, luckily she rolled out of the way. Tai chi wasn't just herbal tea and therapy like most people thought...
Mosely got angry, so he shot Dr. John.
This saddened Dr. John, as he was dead. Blood gushed from his open chest wound, opening the altar in the centre of the room.
Tetelo: "Come here witch hunter, so I can make your head go all funny with funny colors!"
Tetelo waved wiggled her hand, and made strong man's head go all funny with funny colors.
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Strong man threw the talisman to Mosely.
Mosely: "What about you?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Mosely reluctantly left with Grace.
Tetelo raised a knife to Strong Man's throat.
Tetelo: "Die Witch Hunter!"
Strong man stomped on the ground in anger, opening up a huge crack in the ground, because of his enormous strength.
Maila/Tetelo: "Aaaiiieee!"
Maila
Maila: "Save me, please... I... cant... hold... on..."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Maila fell into the lava, and died.
***
Grace stood on the balcony overlooking Jackson Square.
Grace: "I guess its all over now."
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
Grace: "You know when I said you'd changed?"
Strong Man: "Do you want to eat my fist?"
***
THE END
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