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This week is a special week on El Nikki--entirely devoted to Native American Law and related issues! This is a precedent amongst all television judges. Once again, Nikki is leading the way, as she did previously with talk show topics!
Monday
I went to the Navajo Nation but all I got was harrassed by Russell Means, Allegedly!
In a special session designed to coincide with the Navajo Nation Court being held at Harvard University, Nikki once and for all banishes Russell Means and his price tag earring fashions back to the Sioux nation where he allegedly belongs! If you are tired of Means butting his nose into the affairs of others without jurisdictional retribution,
then this is the show for you. This case will have Russell reeling so much from the decision that Nikki will write a new book called Where Russell Fears to Tread, ghost written by noted Indian writer, Sherman Alexie! Not even Chief Powhatan will be able to protect Means today.
Tuesday
We're Indian Too, Give Us a Tribe
Arguing before Nikki are a group of people claiming to be Native American and demanding federal recognition! Will they able to satisfy the criteria of what constitutes a nation? Or are they just a bunch of New Age wannabees who desire a casino? Watch as Nikki calls on expert witnesses like noted gambling rights expert Venetia Moore, Harvard Law, to explain exactly what sovereign means, and Jean Jackson, former best friend/head of anthropology and archaeology at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, who will destroy this group's claims of cultural heritage. If you thought Art Bell had the market cornered on crazy wannabees, you better watch Nikki today.
Wednesday
Nikki, Put that Indian Back in the Cupboard
Native American rapper and entertainer Litefoot is bought to court upon several harassment charges, stemming from several incidents at universities and 49s. Watch as several women describe the horrors of first listening to Litefoot "rap" and then having to endure his unwanted sexual advances. Young native women have had enough of this abuse and are striking back!
Thursday
Help Me Bury Pocahontas' Bones!
In a special international tribunal, Nikki welcomes former beau and current Vegas crooner Wayne Newton to the courtroom in an attempt to force the English government to repatriate the bones of Newton's alleged Powhatan ancestor, Pocahontas, back to America! Using such historical documentation as Disney animations, Wayne attempts to show descent and claim Pocahontas as his own. Will he be able to swoon Nikki to his side as he once did in the past? Or will she let Pocahontas' bones lie in their resting place? Tune in and find out.
Friday
Nikki, Help Us Make Peyote Legal
The Native American Church comes to court arguing in favor of the legalization of peyote. This will enable them to practice their hallucinations in peace and quiet and will allow them to cultivate it so that they will not have to travel so far to obtain it. Will Nikki buy their story? Or will she side with federal law? Will Nikki have to try it out just to make sure its ok? This may be the most groovy and psychedelic Nikki case ever!
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