Lint in my Belly Button

Like most people some things bother me. So rather then let these frustrations build up inside me I have decided that it is best that I vent my problems, and what better way to express you anger then a web page.
Topics:

Crumbs in the butter
Open doors
Default Windows settings
Primates
T$R
Fireball Spell
A gray background on a web document
Fox bashers
D&D Lawyers
Turning on Bravo and getting flashed by a naked male dancer when you where just looking for "My So Called Life"
Pathetic specimens of the human race who bitch about crapyness when really they are just as crap or worse
Stains on a new shirt

If there is anything that is crap it toast crumbs in the butter, I mean you wake up 7 in the mourning, you already feel like a spanish crack hore and what do you face for breakfast but some stupid little old pieces of toast crumbs. Its like the toast decided to leave its card in case you forgot that butter goes on toast, I mean really does god need to do this to us, can't he find something else to do with his time.
Maybe its just me but open doors make me nervous, I just don't feel comfortable if I am in a room and the door is open. I guess I am nuts but what can you do. If you can help this problem look for an email icon on these pages and use it, please if not for a laugh for my benefit.
Did you ever get bored of something, well times that by a million and put an axe threw your head and you got what I call the "default blues." Yes, I refer to the drab and constant settings that most people don't change or do not no how to change in windows. If I had the chance I would sell my little sister if I could forever vanquish the evil that is default Win95.
The thing about primates is not easy to explain. Just look at them, bald ass's, big yellow teeth, eyes sunk into there heads and most of all there mocking smile. Its as if they knew the secret to the universe and there just not telling us cause they think its funny. Need I say more.
First let me say I liked T$R, I worshipped T$R, but as soon as the elf's handbook came out I realized they were just trying to make a buck. Sadly these stupid D&D nerds didn't realize that us old players do indeed influence the decisions of the younger players and from my experience most people don't like there new money making books/scams. On top of all that I don't like T$R because of there copyright strictness. They claim that you cannot even publish a story on net if you are just using there world's for a setting. As well they say that you can't use any of there concepts such as Armor class or thaco on the net. Well let me tell you what I think of that.......ha,ha,ha,ha,ha.
"As your character rounds the corner he sees a mage on the far side of the cave, before you can even get a shot off with you crossbow a roaring fireball erupts from his hands and consumes your body. Your remains consists of so many hot amber's." If there was ever low blow in D&D the fireball is it. Nuf said.
Question: How difficult can it be to learn this bgcolor="white" . Funny doesn't look hard, doesn't feel hard, doesn't smell hard, perhaps, just perhaps its that simple. I am afraid if you can't figure it out you don't deserve to work a mouse. If any of you out there in cyber land can explain this horror please email. I WANT an explanation!
Three words - I love Fox. I don't want to but I do, it just appeals to so many of my most primal urges. Death, sex, violence and everything else America stands for is contained inside this television network. Even though I am Canadian I am still human so I am indeed effected by the magical, lowest common denominator spell that Fox casts.
Dislike, ha, what an ineffective word for describing a player who has a rule book shoved up there a**. If there's anything that disrupts the flow of a session it is nit picking idiots who's only concern is getting 2, extra hit points, experience or gold. Seriously if I got the chance I would get T$R to publish a rule that gave the D.M's the power to kill any player that recites more then 20 rules per session.
Unless you are a gay male this should be self explanatory.
Why would you like these people? Unless you are one you have to agree that these people should be fed to a neon dragon, thrown up and served in some kobold soup. After that the kobold's should be eaten by attacking primates and then the primates later get killed a fireball from a mad wizard. Who then uses there ashes in a stinking cloud potion which then is thrown inside a neon dragons snotty nostril.
I don't understand! You wear your crappie 3 year old sweater when you go fishing ya come back perfectly clean. You go out to supper in your new shirt, take extreme precaution when eating food and threw some miracle of science the dip bypasses your arm does a 30 degree turn and lands on the most visible spot of what you are wearing. If any of you physic's students are reading this please tell me how its possible, then do a thesis on it. This is golden material.