Odds are, if you’re transgendered in the 1990’s, your level of self-expression is probably going to be an affront to someone else in a particular fashion. More and more TG's are making gestures of self-expression that are seen publicly. They aren't necessarily overt expressions of one's gender identity, but one and the same, they're expressions that may not be "the norm" and someone will have a problem with that. That issue becomes stickiest of all when it comes to one's employer.
Long hair, pierced ears, well manicured or long nails, most of us have made these expressions at sometime or another. What's more, someone else has usually noticed. Sometimes our coworkers have made casual comments and less likely but still common, it's been direct from supervisors: "Cut that hair; don't let me see you with earrings in here." This obviously doesn't apply to only transgenders. My own father was told not to attend a management meeting because he was the only one with a beard. This is not a joke.
In some companies like mine, facial hair is virtually a must among high level management. In other companies like his, it's a taboo. The rules vary, but there are times when it all comes down to the same thing. Someone will have a problem with YOU.
At the office, people will run into phrases like "company policy," "professional appearance," "conservative image" and so forth. Many times they are just vague concepts that attempt to set the company rules. The hardest question to answer and deal with is where does one's self-expression start to butt heads with company policy and what can be done about it? It's not an easy issue to deal with, especially when, as I have been told, "The policy is discretionary."
When the situation becomes a difficult one, what can one do? For the most part, little, except to live with it, or leave it behind. Protect yourself by first keeping yourself educated. Be intimately familiar with your company policies, as if you wrote them yourself. Find out the local, and state laws. Keep notes of who said what, what was said, when it was said, where it was said, how it was said, and of course, why it was said, You may well need them in the future. Above all, DON'T remain miserable.
Some people can back themselves off without difficulty. They test the limits and are con-tent not to go further. This can sometimes work with one's coworkers, especially if the "transgression" is small or solitary, but it's not going to work in more extreme cases such as on the job transition. Backing off also could be downright useless in the face of direct harassment or an order from a higher up to "amend the situation," especially when the situation is a fundamental part of the person's identity. What does one do when they're literally told their long hair and "non-conservative appearance" was a factor in being turned down for promotion?
One can always do something pro-active to fix their difficulty. If the situation is bad enough to warrant, then a complaint to human resources, legal action, a job hunt, or all of the above are probably the only solutions. When the action against you is discriminatory, in direct violation of company policy, or a legal statute, there may be applicable recourse. Sometimes it's just plain easier to get out of a bad situation and find one more amicable. One can sometimes win and stay where they are, but the challenge is avoiding the Phyrric victory.
Whatever happens, don't be miserable, and don't let yourself be walked on. If your company and your coworkers don't value you as a person, then they don't value your work either. Find someone who does.
Here's my message to companies who insist in keeping their "conservative image" intact. This is the 1990's. Lose those archaic attitudes and get with it already. You're losing your best people.
Rachel
Postscript commentary:
This was my "anger" piece against an employer who was doing it's best to make things difficult. Ultimately, I did leave only four months after this article was written. I left for a much better company that is quite progressive and allows an extraordinary range of personal expression. The company is not without flaw by any stretch, but has the right idea.
It's not the 1990's anymore, it's now the new millennium and the previous employer has gone out of business. Whether business, social, or political situations, those who cannot adapt to the realities of a modern and changing world will not survive.
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