I am writing this article on a ferryboat returning from Victoria, British Columbia. A year ago it would have been hard to believe that I'd actually go two thousand miles to see people I'd never even spoken with on the phone, much less face to-face. But then again, a year ago I wasn't friends with any of these people. Over the previous year or so, I'd gotten to know these people through several computer chat lines. Because many of the right elements fell into place simultaneously, it was possible for me to take a trip up to the Pacific Northwest and see at least some of my friends, along with some family too.
On the ferry ride over to the island, and nearing the dock, I got a huge smile on my face, and I noticed other passengers looking at me. I was sure they all thought I was nuts, but they didn't understand how far I'd actually come for this. I even smiled at the customs agent who was also probably sure I was nuts. I wasn't even sure if I were nuts or not. After clearing customs, I walked to the gate and waited for my friends. We'd told each other in our perfunctory phone calls who to look for, what we'd wearing, etc.
Surely enough, I saw the blue VW Cabriolet I was told to look for, and knew it was them. I grabbed my pack, ran to the car, and grinning that same huge loony grin, I exclaimed, "I know you people!" On the trip from the ferry into town, we talked for a bit. It was hard to believe I was there in real life. It seemed like a dream. The really funny thing about it; everyone was just as I expected. Nobody was an axe murderer, or eight feet tall, or had green skin. Deb, Aleisha, and Melody were all there right before my eyes and the big surprise was that there was NO surprise! I'd come to know them that well. To Aleisha, I'd said something like, "It's hard getting used to the fact you're really alive and I'm really here. I had some weird idea it was like an episode of the Twilight Zone where I was talking to all these people who I thought were real, but they all turn out to just be computers and I'm the only real one." Nobody has ever called me unimaginative.
It was amazing how little my sensory perceptions differed from mental images formed by getting to know these people's minds. I'd met people from the computer be-fore, but never anyone I'd known for so long previously. It's incredible how one can come to know someone so well over such an inanimate machine. You can't see the emotions of the person you're speaking with. You can't hear the tone of their voice. You can't see their eyes. But you can read what they tell you and one simple statement can hold a lot. God help you if they are a lousy typist, but even then, when you get to know someone, you find you can usually gauge their mood. It's sheer proof that humanity always finds a way of breaking through such technological barriers.
I've debated with people whether it's possible or not to have real friendship in cyberspace, or with people whom you've never met, like a pen pal. Some have said it wasn't, because you couldn't really get to know people like that, not without being face to face. I never bought that. I always knew it was possible to have true friendship, it was just a different way of relating to people. Again, rather than relating with their body, it's solely with their mind. That makes it hard to read people, especially at first, because you have to learn their particular characteristics. Those too, eventually become as telling as any body language. It’s just a different form of communication.
I don’t know how to truly define friendship. If anyone could, they’d be a millionaire. It’s a fascinating thing with no real constraints and no set rules. It just happens. It’s not necessarily something that requires people to be face-to-face and they don’t even need to know that each other looks like. It’s all in your mind. All it requires is a bit of trust, respect, and love. If you have the mindset that you can’t possibly make friends with someone you don’t know in person, then you certainly never will. On the other hand, if you are willing to try, you may find that it’s truly amazing. Although I’d never seen some of these people face-to-face and may well never, I love my friends and they are very near to my heart.
Two thousand miles isn’t too long of a distance when it’s a friend.
Rachel
Postscript commentary:
The two trips I made to Victoria are fondly remembered as some of the best times. All those memories are only in my head, as the photographic record of that trip was lost, probably forever.
Interestingly enough, as I was working on this web project, I stumbled across my old friend, Aleisha. We hadn't spoken in three years because of moving on to new things, new lives, and losing contact information. One wonders if things like that aren't some sort of a sign. It was good to make contact again, if in some ways sad for the distances.
I have learned that physical travel isn't far, but time and experiences certainly are.
Return to Main My Bio Fun Stuff TG Links Pictures My Creations