Date: Sun, 18 Jan 1998 12:05:00 -0800
From: Da Harlequin 
Reply-To: devenyi@bellatlantic.net
To: palladium@dante.neonexus.com
Subject: (Repost)(HU)  Polka Man v1.2 

did'nt get much response from last time so i'm sending it out again.

Copyright ~ 1997 by "Da Harlequin" (a.k.a. Alex Devenyi)
Palladium Books, Heroes Unlimited, and whatever else slipped in are
registered trademarks owned/licensed by Kevin, Maryann, and all the
other usual weirdos and twits.
Blah-blah-blah, you know all the rest.
And if you dare copy this, I will say "Neet!" to you!
*************************************************************************
Christmas morning.  Little Timmy runs downstairs yelling "Mom!  Dad! 
Come look what Santa brought!"  Before his parents came come down, he's
already tearing open a nearby present.  After he unwraps it, his eyes
shine with greed.  "Wow!  Da Harlequin's latest creation.....Polka Man!"
He grabs it and starts dancing around the tree.  "I got the newest
one.....I got the newest one......"
*************************************************************************

Theodore was born in a poor family with an alcoholic father and a mother
that worked as a secretary by day and prostitute by night.   He was born
mentally impaired by FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome)  and he was tortured
in school over the fact that he was fat, mentally slow, and had no
athletic ability at all.

The only thing that could ever cover up his pain was a good dose of
polka music.  He likes nothing better and it helped ease the suffering
he recieved at school and at home.  He barely squeaked by in school, as
he would get no help from his parents.  His father avoided him, abusing
him when drunk and calling him things like "retard", "stupid", "fatass",
etc. His mother was always working either her two jobs or hung-up on her
own escape: cocaine.

Despite his torture in life, he tried to keep a positive attitude. 
However, one day  when he was in 10th grade, a large majority of the
school jumped him after school and proceeded  to beat him up.  His eyes
were blackened, his left arm broken along with his ribs and fingers, and
eventually blacked out.  When he woke up, he felt all the rage inside
him burn, a rage he had never felt before.  That fearsome rage
eventually drove him insane and changed his ways of life (i.e. see
alignment).  He went home and after a heated argument with his father,
picked up his father's .38 Special off of his dresser and shot him.  He
then stormed
into his mother's room and shot her and her client in the midst of their
"buisness."  Then he threw down the gun and ran out of the house, not
going anywhere but just running.....running.....

He was picked up three hours later and was put on trial.  He eventually
was charged with three counts of second-degree murder and was sentenced
to life in prison.  After nearly 20 years, he appealed for parole and
they released him, deeming him a changed man and a possible good
citizen. He moved to Talahassee, Florida and got a job in a new chain of
vegetarian restaurants.  He believed he could go on to better things,
however, and constantly worked on his singing voice, hoping to produce
some polka songs of his own.

One day, the owner of the store got a new machine supposed to increase
the size of vegetables and increase their nutritional value.  Theodore
was assigned the task of loading  and maintaining it.  Little did he
know but it leaked small, nonharmful doses of radiation.......to
everyone else.  The radiation counteracted with his unique physiology
and gave him abilities far beyond the norm.

Theodore discovered his powers quite by accident.  In a fight with his
boss, he screamed an insult and the sound came out painfully loud!  His
boss fell to the floor yelling and clutching at his ears.  Astonished,
Theodore gave a little scream again at his boss and once again the man
was rolling on the floor in pain.  This was one of the final blows to
his sanity and he proceeded to kill his boss and five fellow workers. 
Then he sat down and started eating, feeling very pleased with himself
and thinking God had bestowed him to get revenge on everyone he hated!

Finishing his meal, he got up and started to walk to the door when three
police officers kicked in the door with their guns drawn.  Theodore
sucked in air, prepared to scream once again, when all the food in his
stomach gurgled and he let out a huge sonic burp!  It tore two of the
officers in half and shot the third right out of the glass windows like
a bullet, crashing into a passing car and forcing it off the road.  Even
more amazed, Theodore did'nt think he just ran.....all the way to his
nearby apartment.

He sat in his cheap apartment, eventually deciding to turn to a life of
crime to get revenge! Trying to think of a suitable name, he started
listening to an old polka tune.  His landlord started pounding on the
wall, screaming  "Turn that goddamn garbage down!"  He immediately
lowered it, then suddenly had one!  Twenty minutes later, he walked out
of his apartment, dressed in an old-fashioned yodeling suit complete
with the cap and feather.  Then, he started his life as the
villian....... Polka Man!

(NOTE: This is actually a_real_villian!  He is very disturbed
and         considered insane and dangerous.  He does'nt mind killing
and        takes insults *very* badly!)

Name: Polka Man
Real Name: Theodore Butts
Alignment: Miscreant Evil
O.C.C. = 4th level Mutant

IQ =  6		PP =  7			Height:  5' 6" tall		 
ME =  11 	PE =  20		Weight: 287 pounds
MA =  3		PB =  8			Age: 37
PS =  17	SPD. =  10 		Gender: Male

SDC/HP = Has 183 S.D.C. and 37 hit points.

Combat Skills: Hand to Hand Basic (5 attacks per melee)

Major Ability:  Sonic Power (except Sonic Boom is Sonic Burp)

Minor Abilities (2):  Extraordinary Physical Endurance
		      Super Vision: Ultraviolet/Infrared

Skills:  Equivalent to a High School Dropout with penalties for his 	 	
mentally impaired and insane state.  Has Basic Math 78%, Singing 	 65%,
Body Building, American 85%, Cooking 64%, First Aid 60%, 	 	 General
Athletics, Prowl 35% (chubby and slow), Swimming 70%, 	 Pilot Automobile
70%, and Art: Draw 34%.

Bonuses: +2 to initiative, +1 Strike, +3 Parry, +3 Dodge, +2 SDC
Damage, 	 +2 Roll With Punch, +2 Pull Punch, kick does 1D6 damage,
+1 	 	 tackle (1D4/Knockdown), +10% save vs. coma, +3 save vs. 	 	
poison/magic, and has the special ability to release a powerful 	 sonic
flatulation (does 2D4 x 10 + 20 but counts as two attacks 	 per melee
and needs to have consumed some kind of food).

Disposition: A self-serving, unscrupulous person who despises rock
'n 	     	     roll with a deadly passion.  Mean, angry, and takes
insults 	     poorly.  Very sensitive about his weight and will
literally 	     kick the crap out of whomever calls him fat.  Does'nt
	     understand honor, morales, principles, or fair play.  Hates 	    
whoever looks better than him or constantly berates him.  	     Legally
insane and homicidal.

Insanities: Besides the alignment reversal, he is obssessed
with 	    	    destroying rock 'n roll, afraid to succeed (see:
Neurosis), 	    schizophrenic, and has a mild phobia of large bodies
of 	    water, despite the fact he can swim well.

Equipment: Usually none, but will have whatever is necessary to his 	  
plans.

Appearance: A large, unattractive man with a bloaty red face, large
lips, 	    and squinted brown eyes.  His black hair is greasy and he
is 	    unnaturally obese.  He wears the traditional yodeling outfit 	  
(jodhpurs, cap, overalls, etc.).