Body Slam
(or I pity the fool that likes this movie)
Starring: Dirk Benedict, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Tonga Kid, The Barbarian, The Wild Samoans, Ric Flair, Captain Lou Albano, The Sheik, Classy Freddie Blassie, and Bruno Sammartino
In the 80’s wrestling was huge and every one wanted to make money off it. One of those people made this steaming pile of shit. Dirk “Face” Benedict is a music manager that is down on his luck. He loses his car, has no clients, and a Korean debt collector is on his back. The debt collector has the Wild Samoans as his thugs and they show how tough they are by ripping a car apart with their bare hands. He was in the shit can until he met Rick Roberts (Piper). You see Rick was getting the raw deal from his manager and couldn’t stand it any more. Faceman helped him out and Rick asks him to be his manager. So Dirk becomes Rick and Tonga Tom’s (Tonga Kid) manager and has dreams of making them champions (and making tons of cash). This pisses Captain Lou off. You see Lou is the manager of most of the wrestlers (I swear the god the movie says that all the other wrestlers work for him) and doesn’t want a little upstart shit interfering with his wrestlers. Rick and Tom face off against Lou’s men the Cannibals (Barbarian and some other guy). They along with Face get their asses kicked. After this Faceman feels like giving up but the rowdy one changes his mind. He gets a crappy band called Kick and they and the wrestlers go on tour to build up Tonga Tom and Rick. Dirk stole rock and wrestling from Vinnie Mac and took an already crappy idea and made it worst. You see at one town he couldn’t get two days at the area (one for music and one for wrestling) so he had the band play during the match. Anyone knows that that’s a bad idea. When music is playing during the match it totally kills the mood of it. During the fight you want to here the roar of the crowd, the smack of punchs and chops, and of course crowd chats. In this town Rick and Tom fought a scrawny guy and a fat guy (damn just from that description they most be tough guys). The match was shitty but not as bad as an Undertaker squash match. After awhile rock and wrestling became huge and Dirk challenged Lou to a tag match for the world wrestling tag belts. The match was in one word anti-climatic. It ended after about four minutes when Tonga dropkicked one of the Cannibals. I hear in hell watching this movie for eternity is what dumb marks get if they end up there.
Piper in his most shining moment
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