Hell in a Cell: Bossman vs. Undertaker
(or Vince hates us for sure)
Federation: WWF
Who was in it: Big Bossman vs. Undertaker
Where: Wrestlemania 15
For me 1999 was the year that evil devil worshiping undead cult leader wrestlers stole our hearts. Oh wait a minute, 1999 was the year that evil devil worshiping undead cult leader wrestlers caused us to regret having the intelligence to order WWF PPVs. Undertaker being the head of a human sacrificing cult of not nice people, was the major heel threat in the company at the time. But wait, wasn't Vince McMahon's Corporation head lined by The Rock operating in the field of treating others as badly as badnicks tend to do? Well of course they were. Undertaker wanted the WWF for himself and would destroy Vince to get it so the two big heel stables were feuding with one another along with fending off all the do-gooders. When Wrestlemania rolled around that year it would only figure that a top heel like Taker would get the spotlight at the biggest event of the year. While, it didn't work out that way. The Rock was fighting Stone Cold Steven Austin in the main event for the title, Big Show was fighting Mankind for the right to ref that match, and Taker's brother Kane was taking on HHH. So, Taker ended up having to fight our favorite representative of law and order: The Big Bossman. Now Bossman was Vince's head of security and did such a wonderful job of it that he let Steve Austin kidnap Vince (who was in a wheelchair at the time because Taker and Kane beat the crap out of him before Steve forced the crap out of him with an enema) and couldn't find him even though a camera was with him (this is of course a very common theme in pro wrestling). All ready we have a formula for a failure but it needed something to really make it suck. That something was a gimmick that Vince and company apparently thought needed tarnishing: the Hell in a Cell. Undertaker had previously put on two very enjoy matches in said gimmick match with Shawn Michaels and Mankind. But Mean Mark wasn't at the top of his game at this time and Bossman doesn't have half the talent that Mick's missing ear has. The match was bad but fans would pay psychiatrists big bucks to force the post match beat down out of their minds for good. Taker being evil and in league with the devil couldn't just beat the crap out of Bossman after the match. No sir, he needed to do something vile, like say lynching him right there in the ring. That's right, they hung him up by his neck just like a horse thief in the old west. The Brood descended from the rafters and put poor Big's neck in a noose and had the cell raised. Bossman was lifted in to the air and struggled to free himself. The broadcast then cut away from him and we didn't hear anything about him for a week. Apparently they were busy picking out wallpaper and snorting coke at Titan Towers to worry about a possibly dead grappler. Well, Bossman was okay and could fulfill his life long dream of being the single most evil man alive (yes, even eviler then The Undertaker). I guess all those years of fighting for one's life against the likes of The Mountie and Nailz really makes you tough or maybe the harness he was attached too didn't fail?
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