My barbeque sauce which is available in better stores now is damn tasty. It’s so tasty that if you poured it on a cow’s leg the cow would eat the whole thing and be happy about it. Even though Katie’s been dead for a long time I bet if I put my tangy BBQ sauce all over her rotting corpse that you couldn’t help yourself and you’d dig right in and sin against God. I bet you’re questioning why good old JR is talking about BBQ sauce? That’s because I’ve lost my mind.
Kane once needed a lawyer to get him out of some dental malpractice trouble. He hired Philip Banks to defend him. Banks got him off but Kane didn’t pay him. Now if someone stiffed me the first thing I’d do is frame them for the murder of their girlfriend. Because by God that’s the Oklahoman way.
Kane’s a hoss and as a hoss he’s better then all other people except my boy Stone Cold Steve Austin. I think hosses should be allowed to do anything they want. They’re big and being big means they have lots of talent. Did I mention that I’ve lost my mind.
Scott Steiner told me to fell his peaks. I felt what I thought was his peaks and now he’s slapped me with a sexual harassment lawsuit.
One last thing: beware the army of the twelve monkeys. They will destroy all mankind but more importantly they'll eat my restaurant quality ass. There are spiders inside my head right now controlling my very thoughts!