P.I. Presents....
It's a little-known fact that 7-million innocent people die each year by summoning evil spirits through specter-laden games like Ouija™. We here at P.I. wanted to bring you all the fun and excitement of asking the ghosts of the astral plane your personal queries, without the risk of having a wayward spirit rip you to shreds 'cuz you caught 'em on a bad day. Therefore, we have harnessed the spirit of a recently-deceased alcoholic fly fisherman, who identifies himself only as Zombo, the ghostly specter of the Internet, and he will do his best to answer your questions quickly and honestly from behind the safety of the PC screen.
Consult the beyond: Enter your question, then click on the oracle to summon Zombo, the ghost that lurks inside the board!
'cuz this whole thing's just way too spooky for ya!