Venus Crackho'
The neon lights glisten
Reflecting off your trackmarks
Your sickly-green palor tempts me from behind the dumpster
Come out, needlefiend
I've got some dope & a box of JuJufruits
Let us walk arm-in-arm to the methadone clinic.
Baby's Got A
Secret
Met you in a club so dark
Gazed into your eyes
You made me long for your embrace
Didnt know you were a guy
Almost puked when I learned the truth
It really was quite shocking
Now I'm swinging to and fro
Hung myself with your stocking.
Plastic
Playboy
Opening the box
My palms sweat with anticipation
Bought you at the porno shop
$69.99 - The price of eternal extacy
Filling you up with air
Is my pleasure, my dear
Hope you don't pop under my weight
Blow-up baby - It's you and I forever.
Cold Steel,
My
Comfort
Gun tucked snugly against my brow
We used to be as close
You left me for the mailman
BANG!
Grey matter wallpaper left behind for Snookums.
Pete The Retard's
Proclamation Of Undying Love
*25 minutes of hysterical, incoherent yelling, while simultaneously flailing arms*
You Could Have Mentioned
The
Genital Herpes
My love for you blinded me
You were perfect, without any flaws
But now i've got scabs on my peenie
You could have mentioned the genital herpes.
Love Sometimes Hurts (O.J.'s
Lament)
Left your glasses
Mezzaluna
I watched from my car
Called up Ron to bring them over
You went a bit too far
If I can't have you, no one will...
Hid beneath your windowsill..
Gate swung open...
*SLASH*THUD*SLASH*THUD*
Bail me out, Shapiro
I got putts to sink, M'man.
This has never happened to me
before
Wilted love
Uncomfortable moment of extreme awkwardness
Give me a few minutes
It's just that I got stuff on my mind, Honey
Please don't tell my friends
Not too proud to use a strap-on.
Cuddly Cadaver
Your skin is grey
You kinda smell
You're cold, you're dead, you're stiff as hell
Ain't much to look at
Don't make much conversation
But when it comes to lovin'
You're the best in the Nation
Undead lover- you send chills up & down my spine. (literally!)
So there you have it... a few poems for lovers to reflect upon at this tender time of year. Take this time out to grab your loved one, hold 'em tight... and take comfort in the fact that you live very far away from US! Happy Valentine's day... and always remember: Chances are, they're cheatin' on ya!! Thanks fer readin'!!
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