(Godo opens up the refrigerator)

Godo:  Yawn.  Let's see....

Staniv:  Sheezus, Lord Godo, why must you always yell at your daughter like that?  Are you trying to give her some sort of inferiority complex or something?

Godo (still asleep from waking up in the morning):  Eh?

Staniv:  You know, yesterday?

Godo:  Bah.  That's just routine.  I'm actually nice to her, given her behavior.

Staniv:  ........

Godo:  WELL?  It's not like I smack her around and threaten to kill her or all those terrible things that YOU KNOW WHO did.

Staniv:  Yeah, I guess.

(Chekhov comes in)

Chekhov:  She's gone.

Staniv:  What?

Chekhov:  Yeah.  Run off again.

Godo:  ......

Gorky:  Well?  Aren't you going to do something about it?

Godo:  Why bother?  Let her run off on her own.  No stopping that.

Chekhov:  You're too easy with her!  You allowing Yuffie to always go do whatever she wants is the reason why she's so..... wild like this!

Godo:  If I sent search parties out every time Yuffie ran off, then people would really start getting pissed for always having to leave on search parties.  Besides, she doesn't mean any harm.  Last time she wanted to help by getting a bunch of materia.

Chekhov:  Yeah, too bad the only thing of value that she brought home was a mastered all materia.

Staniv:  Really?  Aren't those like worth 1.4 million gil or something?

Chekhov:  Yeah.  1.4 million must not be much these days.  I have no idea what happened to the money.

(Godo glares at the mastered all materia behind his back)

Godo:  (Too bad I have nothing to attach this to)
 
 
 
 

The Plot Thickens!
 
 
 
 
 
 

(Rocket town music)

Yuffie:  WOW!

(Yuffie glares at the shiny silver futuristic city as shuttles zoom by, the metro passes overhead, and various pack cars drive around while a loudspeaker is constantly booming instruction and news)

Yuffie:  They really revamped the place.  I wonder where Cid is?

Judith:  Hmm.  I wonder how big a hole this put in Shinra's...  er... Reeve Enterprises' budget.

Lenore:  Well, the city looks great.  I'm interested in how the space program is coming along.

Loudspeaker:  Attention A26!  Your car lights are still on.  All staff report to bridge 26 immediately!  Oh, and happy birthday to my wife.  Hey, honey!

Yuffie:  Wow.  I'm going to find some of my friends.

Lenore:  Make it quick, ok?  We have to get on the metro to Corel soon.

Judith:  I'm going to visit the space museum.

Shake:  Why?  It's still under construction.  All of this rebuilding can't be more than a week old.  How did Rocket Town convince Reeve to fund all this?

Yuffie:  Who cares?  I haven't seen any of my friends since.... last week, where we were all at seventh heaven watching TV for the umpteenth time!  C ya!
 
 
 

(Wandering about the big NASA like town, Yuffie finally ends up in some sort of control tower)

(Shera is talking to Cid, whose wrinkly mug is on a monitor.  Palmer is in the background behind Cid making funny faces by sticking out his tongue, etc.)

Cid:  Yeah, Shera, it's great up here in space!

Palmer:  Especially since we packed so many lard cakes!

Cid:  Shut up, fat man.  Who asked you to come along anyway?

Palmer:  You had to take me along!  I'm the head of the space program!

Shera:  I'm glad to see that you're having fun, Captain.

Palmer (floating by in the background):  Wheeeee!

Cid:  How's everything on The Planet?  (for as far as I know, it doesn't have a f#*(&@$&ing name.)

Shera:  Everything is great down here, Captain.

(Yuffie slams Shera out of the way)

Yuffie (Really loudly in annoying high pitched voice):  HEEEEEEEEY CIIIIIIIIID!

Cid:  AAAAGH!  What the hell are you doing there?

Yuffie:  I just couldn't stop by Rocket Town without visiting one of my bestest buddies, huh?

Cid:  ......

Palmer (floating by):  Wheeeeeee!

Yuffie:  Whatcha doin'?

Cid:  We're on the lookout for extraterrestrial life!

Yuffie:  Wow!  Find anything?

Cid:  Not really...

Palmer (floating by):  WHEEEEE!

Cid:  AARRRGGHHH!!!!

(Cid smacks Palmer, who starts spinning around)

Palmer (spinning in orbit):  AY YAI YAI YAII!!!!

Cid:  Anyway, Dukes of Hazard is coming on TV soon, so I'm signing off.

Yuffie:  Aww...

(Palmer looks out the window in the background and is greeted by Fred the alien)

Cid:  I never knew that I'd get such a clear picture in space.  I should watch TV up here more often!

Palmer (to Fred):  Hewwwo!

Fred:  *smiles*

Cid:  Oh!  It's on!

(Cid turns on the TV)

Yuffie:  Ack!  Dukes of Hazard trash.

Cid:  WHAT?!!!

(Cid's arm quickly snaps out of the monitor and grabs Yuffie by the neck)

Cid:  DON'T EVER BAD MOUTH THE DUKES!

Yuffie (choking):  OK!!!

(Palmer gives Fred a lard cake via a robot arm outside the spaceship.  Fred gives Palmer a "thumbs up")

Cid::  Ahem.

(Cid stops defying the laws of physics and returns back into the monitor)

Rufus:  And now, the Dukes are cancelled in favor of STV.

Cid:  WHAT?!

(Fred eats the lard cake)

Yuffie:  Oh well.  I'm leaving.  Nice seeing you again, Cid.

Cid:  WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?  THE DUKES!

(Fred's head grows really large and explodes)

Yuffie:  Yeah, whatever.  Gee, wasn't Rufus... like dead?

(Monitor turns off)

Shera:  Bye, captain!

(Shera glares at Yuffie)

Shera:  Hey, don't cause any trouble, ok?  I'm going to go get some coffee.

Yuffie:  Ooh!  Ooh!  Mocha?

Shera:  No, decaf.

(Shera leaves)

Yuffie:  BOOOOO!!!  Wuss.

(Huge thunder blast)

Yuffie:  Whoa!

(Sky turns dark)

Yuffie:  Gee.... this seems familiar.

(Yuffie sits around for five minutes in darkness and silence)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Yuffie:  Yawn.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Yuffie:  *plays FF adventure on the gameboy that she stole from Nathan*
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Yuffie:  Hooray!  I beat Tiamat!
(Tiamat is in FF Adventure.  Joy.)
Tiamat:  OUCH!  WHat the hell?
 
 
 
 
 
 

Yuffie:  Gee, Shera's been taking her time.  Must be really drunk or something.

(Yuffie opens the door and looks down the empty dark hallway.  A groan is heard in the background)

(Yuffie walks down the hallway and opens the door on the other side)

Shera:  EEEEEEEEEK!!!!

(Yuffie looks at Shera, who is knocked down on the floor with 5 zombies advancing on her)

Zombies:  EAT BRAIN!!!!

Shera:  HELP!!!!

(Yuffie quickly slams the door shut and puts her back against it)

Yuffie:  Yipe!  I must be seeing things.

(Yuffie opens the door and glares at Shera being eaten by zombies)

Shera:  HELP!

(Yuffie quickly slams the door shut and puts her back against it)

Yuffie:  GAWD!

(Zombies start slamming against the door)

Zombies:  BRAINS!

Yuffie:  Man, what do I do now?  I'm trapped!

(Zombies continue slamming against the door)

Yuffie:  Oh great....

(Slamming stops)

Yuffie:  Huh?

Shera (muffled):  It's ok, Yuffie.  Open the door.

Yuffie:  Whew!  Ok!

(Yuffie opens the door and yucky zombie Shera immediately grabs onto her)

Shera Z:  BRAINS!!!!!!!

Yuffie:  AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

(Yuffie starts dashing around wildly like a crazy chocobo with its noodle cut off, spinning in a mad effort to get Shera off, and slamming Shera against walls and other zombies like a psychotic tornado)

Yuffie:  GET IT OFF!!!!!  GET IT OFF!!!!!
 

(Shera flies off Yuffie, who dashes for the other end of the room past the now unconcious zombies)

(Yuffie continues to run forward, not looking where she is going, until she slams into someone)

Yuffie:  Judith?  Lenore?  SHAKE?

Saki:  Hiya.

Yuffie:  Oh.  It's you.

(Yuffie looks at Saki, who is with those four zombies that accompanied her last time)

Saki:  How are you?

Yuffie:  You're not going to eat my brains, too, are you?

Saki:  Well.... I'm SUPPOSED to... but it seems kind of disgusting to me.  Still, I can't let you go, me being a minion of evil and all that, so I guess I'll have to kill you.

(A man bursts out of a side door screaming as a zombie rips into his brains)

Man:  AAAAAAAH!

Zombie:  MMMMM..... brain!

Saki (Colors changing):  URK!!!!

(Saki pukes)

Yuffie:  GROSSNESS!  My new shoes!

(Saki smacks the zombie)

Saki:  THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!!  What is wrong with you?!  Why do you guys always have to do all these yucky things?!

Zombie:  Brain?

Man:  Yeep!

(Man runs off)

Saki:  Go eat a caesar salad or something.

Zombie:  Caesar......'s........  brains?

Saki:  .......

Zombie:  YUMMY!

(Zombie grabs Saki)

Saki:  HEY!!!

(Saki smacks the zombie again)

Saki:  Hello?  Stupid trash, I'm on your side, remember?

Zombie:  Brain?

(Saki smacks it again)

(Those original zombies that ate Shera start coming down the hall towards Saki)

Saki:  Oh shit.

Yuffie:  Zombie problems?

Saki:  What the heck?  None of my other zombies didn't do this!

(Saki's four zombie bodyguards smile)

Zombies:  Brains!

Vladimir:  I figured that you were too sane to be a brain eating zombie, so I've decided to get rid of you here!

(Saki jumps backwards behind Yuffie)

Saki:  Dammit!  You!  Come on, I'll have to forget about killing you and just take you as a prisoner for now.  Garf, Gern, Garren, Marankalanevshkofk, hold those guys off.

Garf:  Hold....

Gern:  Off....

Garren:  Eat....

Marankalanevshkofk:  Brains.....

Saki:  Yeah, whatever.

(Saki grabs Yuffie and runs out)

Garf:  Bud....

Gern:  Wise...

Garren:  Er...

Marankalanevshkofk:  Brains?
 
 
 
 

Saki:  Dammit.  You!  You're my prisoner, help me get out of here.

Yuffie:  Whatever.

(Saki and Yuffie tip toe past bunch of rooms, all the while listening to a bunch of screams of pain coming from each)

Yuffie:  My heroic nature prompts me to save those poor people, but my smart practical side tells me to forget about them.  So screw them!

(Zombie grabs Saki.  Saki kicks off it's head)

Saki:  Man.  If I was going to come back undead, why did I have to end up with such lousy comrades?

Yuffie:  Beats me.  That's life.  Or how shall I say, Afterlife?  :)

Saki:  ......... That's just stupid.
 

    Saki and Yuffie made their way through the rocket building complex, all the while dealing with yet more hungry zombies, ghouls, and other assorted wierdoes.  Yuffie continued to wonder what happened to all her friends.  Saki also wondered what happened to all her friends... in a different sense.  Saki was also considering quitting her job.  If being an undead minion meant having all your team mates trying to eat your brains, Saki would rather just stay dead.  Of course, she still wondered why she didn't turn out to be a crazy brain eating zombie like the rest.

Saki:  I think this is the exit.

(Saki opens the exit door.  A little janitor rectangular robot with a broom jumps out)

Janitorbot:  Clean house!  Ceiling is dirty!  Clean house!

Yuffie:  Aw.  It's cute.

(Saki looks up and notices a strange green sludge on the ceiling)

Saki:  This must be some product of that stupid earth orb that brought all these undead and me here in the first place.

Yuffie:  Huh?

Saki:  Oh, you know it as the doom materia, but it's really not a materia at all.  It's the thing that summons us to life.  So, I appeared in here, and suddenly you crash into me, and...

Yuffie:  NARI!

Saki:  Nari?  She's still around?  She must be... like.... 30 years old or something.

Yuffie:  Huh?  She seems to be my age.  What do you know about her?

Janitorbot:  Clean house!

Yuffie:  Yeah, just get out of our way.

(Janitorbot smacks Yuffie with it's broom)

Yuffie:  OUCH!
 

    The janitorbot's eyes glowed red, and Yuffie immediately knew it was hostile.  Of course, how hard could a little garbage can be?  The robot smacked Yuffie using it's patent broom attack, but a broom really can't do much damage.  Yuffie darted a shurikan at it, then Saki sent it flying against the wall.  Suddenly, Yuffie was slammed in the back by a burning acid.  She turned around and saw that some of the green gunk on the ceiling had dripped onto the floor and formed into a couple of acid flinging hands.  Yuffie greased lightninged (that a word?) them, but it didn't do any damage.  Yuffie and Saki immediately began wailing on the robot to get it out of the way, while the little thing tried to defend itself with its broom.  Then the robot sparked and seemed to have been destroyed, when it flashed and screamed, "Backup Source 1!" and recovered all it's energy!  "No problem", thought Yuffie, as Saki was crushed by a really BIG acid hand (the things were growing as the robot took damage).  "We'll just use up all its backup sources."  The robot fired a couple of lasers at Yuffie, then Saki grabbed it and slammed it on the ground.  "Backup Source 1!" it screamed, as it recovered all of its hp again.  The letters, "WTF" were ringing through Yuffie's head as she wondered how it was still using it's original back up source.  The hands had combined into a man made out of acid by now, and was really smacking down hard on Saki.  Saki channeled her energy into a dark power, which she used... on herself, recovering her energy.  When Yuffie asked to be cured, Saki told her that that spell only heals undead.  So, Yuffie used her calm tranquil move for healing.  Unfortunately, Saki wasn't too happy when she got blasted with a heal spell.  Undead don't like that.  The robot used another "Backup Source 1!" and recoved all it's energy again.  Yuffie was wondering how they were ever going to win.  A huge hand slammed into Yuffie's back and sent her flying.  The humongous acid GIANT behind them was laughing by now.  "Die, DAMMIT!" Yuffie cried as she used her All Creation move in an angry attempt to destroy the damn little robot.  The robot flew back as Yuffie hit it with a huge dragon ball z blast (how else do you describe her fourth level limit break?), but then it just screamed "Backup Source 1!" and recovered all of it's hp.  It then cleaned the room.

Saki:  We are soooo dead.

Yuffie:  I can't die here!  How do we beat this thing?

Saki:  That damn gunk on the ceiling keeps on making that green thing bigger and bigger!

Yuffie:  DAMMIT!

Janitorbot:  Clean house!

(Lenore and Judith burst into the room and crush the robot)

Lenore:  Hey, what's up?

(The acid beast punches Yuffie and sends her crashing into Lenore and Judith.  The force sends them all flying out the door)
 
 
 
 

(Outside)

Lenore:  EEP.  That was a close one, huh?

Yuffie:  You could've come sooner, you know!

Lenore:  Well, we had our own problems.

Judith:  You're lucky we found you.  How the heck did you let a little robot like that give you so much trouble?

Yuffie:  ........

Lenore:  We have to get out of town.  The whole place is infested.  Shake, Nathan, and Marel are waiting at the metro.  Come on!

(Lenore, Judith, and Yuffie head for the metro.  Lenore shoots and slices off the head of any zombie in the way, and Judith lights her weapon on fire to roast those zombie scum to ash)

Lenore:  Here!  The subway.

(Yuffie and Co dash in to find the empty subway to be.... empty)

Yuffie:  Eh?  Where is everyone?

Shake:  Eat brains.....

Yuffie:  NO!!!!!!

(Yuffie crushes Shake)

Shake:  OUCH!!!  I was only kidding!

Yuffie:  Don't do that!

Shake:  Heh heh.  We're all going to die.  Nathan's driving the train.

Lenore:  Well, he can't be that bad, just follow the monorailway, right?

Shake:  Yeah, whatever.  Come on.
 
 

(The metro takes off, with Nathan's silly scream of "All aboard!")
(Yuffie sits down on one of the train seats to take a break)

Yuffie:  Whew.  I'm tired.  I've had the wind knocked out of me.

Lenore:  Wow.  We have to warn everyone about this... um.... epidemic.

Yuffie:  It's all that Nari girl's fault.  She keeps activating that damn earth orb.

Shake:  Huh?

Yuffie:  You know, the doom materia.

Lenore:  Damn.  She must have escaped.

Yuffie:  Knowing Wutai security, she probably did.  We'll have to stop her.  But I'm tired now.  Good night.

(Yuffie falls asleep)
 
 
 

Brand:  Ah haha haha ha!  It's me again!

Yuffie:  Huh?

Brand:  I shall continue to haunt your dreams forever!  That will be my revenge!

Yuffie:  Could you just leave me alone?  I've had a rough day.

Brand:  Oh?  Really?  Sorry about that.

(Brand leaves)

Yuffie:  .........
 

Judith:  Yuffie, wake up.

Yuffie:  LEAVE ME ALONE, DAMMIT, YOU ASSHOLIAN SCUM OF THE EARTH!!!  NEED SLEEP!

Judith:  YEEP.
 
 
 
 
 

(Yuffie gets up)

Yuffie:  Are we there yet?

Lenore:  Yeah.

Marel:  Where are we anyway?

Lenore:  We're heading for the gold saucer for now, I guess.  Lots of telephones there.

Nathan:  Ok!  Everyone off!

Yuffie:  "There's no getting off this train."

Lenore:  Huh?

Yuffie:  Just joking around.

Judith:  I don't get it.

Yuffie:  Never mind.

(Yuffie, Lenore, Marel, Shake, Nathan, and Judith jump off the train.)

Yuffie:  Corel?  Wow!  Maybe I can see Barret again!

Lenore:  Who?

Yuffie:  He's one of...

Judith:  The guys who helped you save the planet.  Blah blah.

Yuffie:  Yeah!

Lenore:  I guess we part here.

Yuffie:  Why?

Lenore:  Well, I made it to the ruby dessert.  I have a little bussiness to do.

Nathan:  Oh yeah!  The ancient ruin!

Yuffie:  Isn't this zombie infestation thing kind of.... more important?

Lenore:  Um... well.... I always.... I got it!  Why don't YOU go to the Gold Saucer and report what's going on?  Nathan, Marel, and I will go to the ruin and see if we can find anything there.

Shake:  Sh'yeah, right.

Judith:  Watch them coincidentally find the very thing that we need to stop the zombies.  Oh well.  Come on, Yuffie, let's go to the railcar that leads to the saucer.

Yuffie:  I can't meet Barret first?

Judith:  No time.

Yuffie:  It'll only take a sec.

Judith:  SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR STUPID HERO FRIENDS AND GO!

Yuffie:  Sheesh.

Nathan:  Isn't the ruby dessert untravelable by foot?

Marel:  "Untravelable?"

Lenore:  Don't worry.  This "Chime" that I got will show us the way and open the ruin.

Nathan:  Ok........

(Yuffie enters the railcar)

Yuffie:  Good thing this is free, huh?

Judith:  Yeah.

(The rail car [skyride] starts to go to the Gold Saucer)

Shake:  HEY!!!!  WAIT!!!!!

(Shake quickly jumps on)

Judith:  It's a nice view, isn't it?

(Judith looks out the window to the dessert below)

Yuffie:  Sigh....

(Yuffie looks at the gold saucer in the distance trying to regain memories past)

Shake:  ACK!  I'm too short to see out the window!

(Grumbling noise)

Yuffie:  What was that?

Judith:  Someone forget to eat lunch?
 

    The door to the railcar was ripped off immediately, and Yuffie found herself staring face to face with a HUGE zombie sandworm.  The worm was so big that it was able to reach up to the high-in-the-sky railcar.  It let out a mighty roar, and Yuffie immediately darted a shurikan into its eye for kicks.  The sandworm roared again, this time in pain and anger, and opened it's mouth spewing poisonous darts at Yuffie, Shake, and Judith.  Judith quickly flashed out of the way and stabbed the other eye.  Shake casted a haste spell on the three while Yuffie and Judith attacked the blinded beast.  The worm quickly ducked down out of view as the rail car continued to travel onwards.  Then it suddenly ripped open the top of the railcar with it's teeth and began chomping down on Shake.  Shake quickly ran around screaming like crazy.  Yuffie and Judith blinded the worm again by targetting it's eyes and the worm quickly ducked down again for cover.  It then slammed against the bottom of the railcar, causing Yuffie, Judith, and Shake to lose their balance and get bounced around like a ping pong ball.  All three quickly grabbed onto the handrails to keep from falling off when the huge worm popped up again.  With a flash of Judith's katana, the worm was finally laid low.
 
 
 
 

(In the background, a huge sand worm falls down dead to the ground)

(Get some exciting music like the stuff from the ruins in "Wild Arms" or something like that)

Lenore:  This is it!  We're here!

Nathan:  Huh?  That mirage.... the chime made it solid?

Lenore:  Well?  Shall we enter?  It's the legendary Mirage Tower!

Marel:  Could be dangerous.

Lenore:  Don't worry.

Nathan:  Yeah!  My tools will destroy anything.

Lenore:  Besides that, Nathan, I also have magic.

Nathan:  Huh?  You use materia?

Lenore:  No, it's something else.  It's a little special ability that I have.  I'll tell you about it later.

Nathan:  ERR?

(Nathan, Lenore, and Marel enter the tower.  The door closes behind them)

Lenore:  Wow.  Nice touch.

(A boulder drops behind them and starts rolling)

Marel:  Crap.

(Lenore, Nathan, and Marel make their way around the spiralling tower, looting treasure chests, killing mancats, chimeras, and other beasties, and dodging spear/flame/boulder traps, until they finally reach the top)

Lenore:  Sheesh.  I wonder what's with the security system here.

Nathan:  What's that?  A teleportation device?

(Nathan peers into the room)

Lenore:  Watch out!

(A big fat thunder dragon glares at Nathan)

Nathan:  Um... hi?

Lenore:  What do you want?

Thunder Dragon:  .......

Lenore:  Out of our way!

Thunder Dragon:  It used to be that we evil monsters ruled places like these.  Then nasty people like you came along, mugged us, took our gold, robbed from our treasure chests, and hunted us just because we were trying to rule/destroy the world.  You're no better then those four heroes that beat me a whole bunch of millenias ago!
 

    Lightning blasted from the dragon's mouth, zapping poor Marel as Lenore jumped out of the way.  Lenore immediately sliced the dragon, only to get zapped herself.  Cursing for forgetting about metal conductivity, Lenore took out her gun and blasted the dragon.  The dragon tail whipped all three of them.  Nathan cut threw the thing with his laser, then peppered it with arrows from his auto crossbow that he made using ancient blueprints.  Marel and Lenore then spinned around the dragon slicing it in a circle.  Lenore then closed her eyes in concentration, and blasted the dragon with a fire spell.  But the fire spell she used looked different than the materia fire spell that Nathan was accustomed to.  The dragon roared, then.... ran away.

Lenore:  Huh?

Marel:  CHICKEN!

Lenore:  Yeah, whatever.  Come on.

(Lenore holds up a cube, and the teleporter lights up)

Lenore:  Wow.  The ancients sure had thrifty technology.
 
 

(The sky palace.  Stars sparkle below as space is all around.  Cid's space ship goes by in the background)

(Lenore stares, enchanted by some mysterious force.)

Lenore:  This is it.  The sky palace.  Wait..........

Marel:  Lenore?  You ok?

Lenore (coming to a revelation):  What do I remember about this place?  This used to be the home of some ancient race, I think.

Nathan:  Hmm.  Wonder how they did all this.  Let me see if I could remember the legend of this place.  There are so many damn legends.....

Lenore (not paying attention):  I wonder what it was like....
 

    Lenore envisioned that the big open room they were in must have been the ballroom.  She dreamed of a party, an elegant one, a ball, of people dancing and waltzing as the stars twinkled in the distance.  Just then, Tenko offered her a dance, which she gladly accepted.  They wheeled around the floor with the grace of angels, forgetting about all the worries of the world.  A sword and rifle were gathering dust in a far distant corner.

Marel:  Damn, I hate it when Lenore gets all freaky like this.

Evil Voice:  Well, well...

Lenore (snapping out of it):  WHAT?

    A man in a clean blue suit with flaming dark blue hair walked up to Lenore and smiled.

Marel:  Genmari!

Clean cut sophisticated evil guy, Genmari:  Good day, Marel.  Hello, Lenore.

Lenore:  Damn!  What do you want?

Nathan:  Who the #$&()@ is Genmari?

Genmari:  Ah, I see you've brought a friend.

Nathan:  WHO THE &#$()@ ARE YOU?

Genmari:  Sheesh!  Stop with all the cursing, already.

Marel:  Um... Nathan, remember that adventure Lenore talked about?

Nathan:  Yeah?

Marel:  Well.... it's still going on.  We're trying to stop Genmari from taking everything we hold dear, etc.  Blah blah blah.

Lenore:  I came here because I heard that...

Genmari:  The key to stopping my awesome power was here?  HA!  I spread that stupid rumour so I could get in after you used the cube!

Lenore:  Well, actually, I came here because I heard that this sky palace used to be the home of my ancestors and I wanted to claim what was rightfully mine, but I guess finding the key to stopping your "awesome power" is close enough.  What do you want up here anyway?  A good view of the planet or something?

Genmari:  No, something much better.  I know that there is a materia here that controls time and space!  With it, you can travel through time itself!

Lenore:  Huh?  You know how risky time travel is?  You could potentially end up screwing yourself!  You don't know what could happen.  You could step on a bug in the past and find out that it changed the entire present into something really freaky.

Nathan:  Psh.  Anyone who watches TV knows that.  Nearly every series has time travel at one moment or another.

Genmari:  Oh, I don't plan to change the past.  This materia doesn't have the power to do that.  But it DOES allow you to take something from the past and bring it to the present!  And THAT'S what I'm going to do.  I'm going to go back in time, and find the eight servents of my grandfather and with them all, CONQUER THE WORLD!!!  HA HA HA HA HA!

Nathan:  So, tell me, why does this psycho want to rule everything?

Lenore:  Long story.

Marel:  Boring one, too.

Genmari:  And you know something else?  I now have that materia!

(Genmari displays a LARGE dark orb and laughs fiendishly)

Lenore:  Man, I don't feel like fighting you today.  I don't feel like looking like an idiot for leading you here, too, so I'll just...

(Lenore grabs Nathan, Marel, and the orb, and bails)

Genmari:  HUH??  WTF?!
 
 
 
 

Yuffie:  We'd better not be greeted by a bunch of brain eating zombies.

(Yuffie enters the Gold Saucer)

Judith:  Ok, I'll notify the authorities.

(Judith runs off)

Yuffie:  Sigh.

(Yuffie looks around)

Yuffie:  Well, might as well try some of the attractions while Judith does whatever.

Shake:  Well, I'm going to play arcades.  Bye.

(Yuffie walks into the Round Square, and notices a familiar face)

Yuffie:  C..... Cloud?!

Dragon Ball Z! Cloud:  Oh, hey, Yuffie.

Yuffie:  Hi.  What's going on?  I thought you were like... on an icky honey moon with.... well.... Tifa.

Cloud:  I would be, if I could find her!

(Cloud dreams of overly beautiful Tifa and honey moons with overly beautiful Tifa and.... ack!)

Yuffie:  What are you talking about?

Cloud:  Tifa's damn uncle keeps bothering us!  We were supposed to have our honey moon in Costa Del Sol, but we ended up running from him and got here.  We don't get a second of privacy.

Yuffie:  EH?  Tifa has an uncle?  This is wieeeeeerd.

Cloud:  Tell me about it.  What kind of low life scum....

Lenore:  Hey, Yuffie, what's up?

Yuffie:  Oh, hi Lenore.  How was the tower?

Lenore:  Oh... fine, I guess.  Everything ok?

Yuffie:  Yeah.

Cloud:  Well, have to find Tifa.

(Cloud leaves)

Lenore:  Whoa!  That's Cloud?

Yuffie:  Yeah.

Lenore:  Gee, you chose a good person to fall in love with:)

Yuffie:  WHAT?

Lenore:  Oh, never mind.  Still like him?

Yuffie:  Oh, um.... well, he's...

Lenore:  Married?  Of course.

Nathan:  Ack.  Yuck.  Girl talk.

(Tifa comes up to Yuffie)

As Galuf says, "Beautiful..........." (not that I like her though too much though:P) Tifa:  Oh!  Yuffie, did you see Cloud?  I think I finally lost that stupid fat guy that keeps bugging me.

Nathan:  GA GA.....

Yuffie:  Um, nope, didn't see him.

Tifa:  Damn.

(Tifa leaves)

Yuffie:  OOPS.  Forgot, I DID just see him.  Hmm.  Not paying attention, I guess.

Nathan:  Jeezus!

Lenore:  Who was that?

Yuffie:  Tifa.

Lenore:  Eep.  Something about her just..... scares me.

Nathan:  Something about her seemed to hypnotize me.  Hmm.

Marel:  (Well duh, you MORONS.  Tifa must have found a really whacked out plastic surgeoun to get that job done)

(Big fat man runs in)

Big Fat Chubby Multi-chinned thing:  Ho there, Yuffaruni!  I'm the great uncle of Tifa, Da Cha Lockeheart!  You wouldn't happen to know where my WONDERFUL niece and her WONDERFUL husband ran off to, would you?

Yuffie:  ???

Da Cha:  Oh well, I'll find them.

Lenore:  I think they want to be left alone.

Da Cha:  NAW!  Bye bye!

(Fat man runs off)

Yuffie:  Hmm.  That guy seemed familiar.  Like someone I'm supposed to know, but never met.  Oh well.  Wonder where he got my name....

Lenore:  Tell everyone about the zombie thing, yet?

Yuffie:  Judith should have.

Nathan:  You know what would suck?

Yuffie:  What?

Nathan:  If the lights suddenly went out and....

(Lights go out)

Nathan:  Damn.

Yuffie:  Sigh.  I guess we're too late.

(Lights go on)

Hideous half naked man, Dio:  Damn electric company.  Sorry about that.  Just a quick short circuit.

Lenore:  Well, let's go hang out at the wonder square while we wait.  Round Square is kind of... small and doesn't even have any benches to sit on or whatnot.

Yuffie:  Whatever.

Lenore:  But, this place brings back so much good memories.  The gondola ride is probably the most beautiful part of the gold saucer.

Yuffie:  Whatever.

Lenore:  Wonder why it shut down so suddenly...

(Yuffie heads to the wonder square.)

Yuffie:  Hmm?

(Nari zips by)

Yuffie:  Hey, guys, I'll be right back, ok?

Lenore:  Why?

Marel:  TENKO!!!

(Marel runs up to a guy in a dark blue jacket with a neat short cut and um, whatever.  Damn, I hate trying to describe how characters look)

Marel (hearts in her eyes):  Sir Tenko!

Teen Tenko:  Marel!  Lenore!  Great to see you here!

Lenore:  Hey, Tenko.  Hey, Kiryou.  Sup?

Blond girl with split spiky Sonic the Hedgehog hair, Kiryou:  Dammit!  What is the matter with you?

(Kiryou smacks Marel)

Marel:  OUCH!  Hey!

Kiryou:  You always are so confident that you and Tenko...

Lenore (smiling):  Kiryou, Marel, stop arguing. (more serious now).  Ahem.  Oh, Tenko, Kiryou, ah.... I found Genmari.

Yuffie:  Wow.  This is getting kind of interesting.  I forgot what I was supposed to do...

(Yuffie glares at Saki, with her four zombie friends around her, who is playing an arcade game.  Yuffie walks up to her)

Saki:  I've been thinking about quitting my job.  Right now, I think I'll sit back and enjoy myself.

Yuffie:  Hmm.....

Saki:  That's it, Yoko!  Kill Cloud!

(Yuffie notices that Saki is playing Ehrgeiz as Yoko (the OTHER Sakura wannabe) against the secret character, Cloud.  Oops! Did I spoil something?)

Garf:  Kill...

Gern:  Cloud...

Garren:  Eat...

Marenkalanevshkofk:  Brains...

Saki:  Wow.  Wish I could wield a spiked yo yo like Yoko.  Gee, I wonder if this game has any fatalities...

Yuffie:  THAT'S IT!  I was supposed to go after Nari!

(Yuffie runs off)

FATALITY!

(Polygon head of Cloud flies by)

Lenore:  So we have to stop him before he brings back those eight bad asses that those legendary hero type people fought in the past.

Tenko:  Well, as long as you have the materia...

Yuffie (from backstage):  Materia?  Dammit.  Gotta go after Nari first.

Kiryou:  ...........

Genmari:  Hello!
 
 
 

(Yuffie glares around the back warehouse storage area of the Gold Saucer)

Yuffie:  Ack!  Sure is dusty back here.  Gee, now that I think about it, I should have brought help.

(Nari walks up to Yuffie)

Nari:  What is your problem?!  Do you like have some kind of bone to pick with me or something?

Yuffie:  Nope.  Just trying to stop you from doing nasty things and turning everyone into zombies, that's all.

Nari:  I'm so close to discovering the secret!  I'm not going to let you stop me!

(Nari runs off as Judith walks up to Yuffie)

Judith:  Um, Yuffie?

Yuffie:  Huh?

Judith:  Dio didn't believe me when I told him about the zombie crisis.  He radioed Rocket Town and... well, everything seemed fine.  Absolutely no one was a zombie...

Yuffie:  Huh?

Judith:  Was that Nari?

Yuffie:  Yea, help me get her, ok?

Judith:  Oh, sure.

(Yuffie and Judith quickly bum rush through the nasty dusty warehouse filled with icky spiders and giant rats)
 
 

Yuffie:  Gee, she must have taken this ladder...

(Yuffie and Judith dash up the ladder and find them selves on the very top of the gold saucer, right next to the foot of a humongous statue of the hideous Dio.  Nari is in the background, looking out to the stars, as the activity of the gold saucer sparkles around)

Nari:  ........persistent, huh?

Yuffie:  Sure.

Nari:  Two on one?  That's not very fair.

(Zombie jumps out from underneath the ladder, grabs Judith, who screams, and drags her back down, as a bunch of fighting noises like POW and THUNK sound and stars fly from the ladder)

Yuffie:  Um....

Nari:  So?  Think you can take me on?

    Shurikans criss crossed and slashed each other in mid flight as Nari quickly turned around and Yuffie defended her attack.  The two circled around the saucer like mirror images, until Nari dashed forth and cross flashed at Yuffie, sending Yuffie to the very edge of the circle.  Nari rushed Yuffie with her sword, but Yuffie quickly flipped over her and slashed Nari in the back, nearly knocking Nari off.  Just getting pissed off at the sheer stubborness of all the villains she faced so far, Yuffie kneeled her head behind her shurikan and concentrated all her energy to unleash her All Creation move.  The humongous blast burned into Nari, who fought against it to prevent herself from flying off the edge to her doom.  When it was over, Nari was trying to keep her balance until Yuffie's shurikan smacked her in the head.

Tiamat:  Amazing how RPG characters are so resistent to bladed weapons while a normal human would instantly drop dead if smacked in the head with a big shurikan (or big sword, for that matter)

Yuffie:  There!  Give up?  Now, why are you doing all this?

(Really beat up Judith stumbles onto the saucer)

Judith:  ACK!

Lenore:  YUFFIE!  Could you come here?  We need help!

Yuffie:  Gawd...

(Yuffie grabs Nari and runs to Lenore)

(Yuffie looks at Genmari, who is laughing.  Yuffie also takes note of the unconcious Marel, the beat up Shake, and the attempts of Lenore, Tenko, and Kiryou to stop him)

Yuffie:  Wow.  What's up?

Genmari:  Ha HA!

(Genmari yanks the materia from Lenore)

Genmari:  NOW NOTHING CAN STOP ME!  Now, how the heck do I work this thing?

(Genmari bonks the orb)

Nari:  IT'S ONE OF THE SPECIAL MATERIAS!!!

(Nari slams Yuffie to the ground and grabs the dark orb)

Nari:  It's mine!  Hope I can work it in time.

(Nari grabs out a guitar, and twangs out some some really awful vibes)

Yuffie:  AGH!!!  HORRIBLE MUSIC!

Nari (eyes closed in deep thought):  I want to return to a year before it happened...

Genmari:  What the hell are you doing?!?!?  I'LL KILL YOU ALL!

(Genmari grabs out his sword and stabs it through Nari)

Nari:  AGH!  NO!
(Nari gets slammed against the wall)

Genmari (grabbing the orb):  You die now!

(A portal begins to open as Genmari casts Ultima2.  Um... yeah, Ultima2)

Yuffie:  SHIT!

(Genmari's Ultima two spell does ridiculous "you are supposed to die here" damage, and destroys the entire room as everyone gets blown to bits)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

(All is black....)
 
 
 

Yuffie:  Ungh.... my head....

(Wind starts blowing)

Yuffie:  Where am I?

(Yuffie opens her eyes)

Yuffie:  AGH!  I'm blind!

(Yuffie quickly rubs all the sand out of her eyes)

Yuffie:  Dammit!  Stuck in the middle of the ruby dessert during a sandstorm.
 
 

    Yuffie looked around.  The dessert was desolate, without a soul in sight.  She couldn't even see the gold saucer.

Yuffie:  Wow.  Is Ultima2 so powerful that it could destroy the Gold Saucer?  Man, it's hot out here!  I have to get out of this dessert.  Where's the chocobo carriage when you need it?

(Yuffie wanders around, while sand blows all around her)

Yuffie:  ...............Wha?...... Sandstorms weren't... this bad before!

(The powerful wind sends Yuffie flying until she crashes into the ground)

Yuffie:  NO!!!  I'm going to die out here.... in this horrible place!

(Yuffie struggles to get up, but the powerful wind and hot sand/sun are too much)

Yuffie:  Help.......
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

(Two chocobos are heard trotting in the distance, until they get near.  Each one has a rider.  One is a young lady with light violet hair and two sloppy buns on both ends, while the other is a young teenager, roughly the same age, with cool long silver hair and a trench coat.  The girl is always levitating a strange red orb in her hand using some sort of magic)

Female rider (screaming over the wind):  Hey!  Sephy, stop!

Sephy?:  Huh?  What is it, Trisha?

Trisha?:  Look at that!

(Sephy? looks at Yuffie, who is unconcious.  As if you don't know who Sephy is...)

Trisha?:  A Wutai girl.  Out here?  She must have wondered from the school.  What an idiot, huh, Sephy?

Sephiroth:  .........

Trisha?:  Everyone is soo immature.  How does our teacher put up with them?  Well, what are we waiting for?  Let's find her ID tag.

Sephiroth:  Doesn't have one.

Trisha?:  Hmm.... travelling without an ID tag.  Wow.  That's not very smart, given President Shinra's strict code, right, Sephy?

Sephiroth:  .........

Trisha?:  Lighten up!  I guess we have to take her back to base.

Older female voice:  Patricia!  Sephiroth!  What are you doing?

Patricia (Trisha):  OH!  There you are!  We found a stray.

Blonde Lady:  Huh?  Out here?  Who would be so crazy to....

Patricia:  We don't know.  She doesn't have her ID tag with her.

Lady:  WHAT?!  But you HAVE to have your ID!  I'll think of a punishment when we get back.

Yuffie:  Ugh.... where am I?       Oh yeah.  I'm in that dessert.  DAMN.

Sephiroth:  She talks.

Patricia:  Ha.  Well, duh.  You there, what's your name?

Yuffie:  Me?  I'm Yuffie!  Materia Hunter Extraordinaire!

Patricia:  Ha!  She's almost as stuck up and obnoxious as Nari!

Lady:  I don't recognize her....

Patricia:  Probably because of that ridiculous outfit, huh, Sephy?

Sephiroth:  ........ Whatever.

Yuffie:  EEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!  SEPHIROTH!

Sephiroth:  ?

Lady:  Eh?  Sephiroth, you aren't going around bullying other students, are you?

Sephiroth:  Not that I know of...

Yuffie:  Wow.  Sephiroth looks different.  Where the HELL am I?  Some sort of wacked out afterlife?

Patricia:  Must be delirious.

Lady:  Let's get out of here.  The damn sand storm is pissing me off.  Good thing Shinra weather satellites say that these storms will grow calmer each year.

(familiar growling noise)

Yuffie:  What was that?

Lady:  Dammit.
 
 

    The huge sandworm (the EXACT same one that Yuffie fought earlier) roared out of the ground and glared hungrily at the four.  Yuffie quickly noticed that it wasn't a zombie anymore.  Sephiroth immediately slashed the beast with his big ass masamune and Patricia charged up her levitating orb thingie then napalmed it at the worm, causing a huge explosion on the beast.  The worm roared in pain AGAIN, and began charging up for a magic spell...

Lady:  Oh no.  It's casting Ultima2!

Yuffie:  WHAT?!  NOOOOO!  I'm going to die AGAIN!

Lady:  Gee, you're too tense.

    The blonde lady took out her sword and held it up, then closed her eyes in concentration as the worm roared and the tell tale explosion of Ultima2 blinded everyone.  Yuffie opened her eyes, expecting to be charcoaled, but found that she wasn't harmed at all and that the spell was sucked into the lady's sword.  Sephiroth then chopped the worm to death.

(Huge sandworm body falls dead to the ground)

Sandworm: DAMN!  Died TWICE in the same fanfic!  How embarassing.

Yuffie:  What's going on?  Who are you?

Lady:  Who am I?  Do you have amnesia or something?  I am the head of Shinra's Gifted and Talented Program, Kesley Cheraye!
 
 
 
 
 
 

Chapter 3 End!