(An abandoned Midgar area.  No one is in sight but all the nearby buildings are intact and in pretty good condition.  Oddly enough, there is a big red force field of some sort in the center of the area which is covering something there....)

Yuffie:  What the hell is this?

(Nathan pokes the forcefield and gets electrocuted)

Nathan:  Ai yai yai!

Yuffie:  Quick!  Someone's coming!

(Yuffie grabs Nathan and gets electrocuted)

Yuffie:  WAAAAAAH!!!

(Irene stares at Nathan and Yuffie as they are getting zapped)

Yuffie:  Dammit!  Irene, do something!

Irene:  (What the $&@ do you want me to do?  Join in on your fantastic voyage?)

Yuffie:  I don't know!  Nathan, do you have anything that will stop us from being fried?

(Still getting zapped, Nathan pulls out some rubber gloves from his back pack but drops them because he's kinda unbalanced)

(Irene puts on the gloves and rips Yuffie and Nathan away from the field)

(Nathan and Yuffie cough)

Nathan:  *bzzt!*  Wow, you look really wierd when your hair stands up like that.

Yuffie:  Shaddup!  And no more touching mysterious *bzzt!* electrical force fields, dammit!

(Yuffie, Nathan, and Irene hide in an alley as Michael and Niel walk up to the force field)
 
 

(Michael glares at the force field)

Michael:  Man, what's up with that?  This is completely whack....

Niel:  You're the one who wanted to come back here.  We don't have time for this!

Nathan:  *bzzt!*

Michael:  What was that?  Did you hear something?

Niel:  Probably electrical disturbance from the force field.  Hurry up here, okay?  We have to go fight Tenko in a few minutes.

Michael:  Just sic some stupid monster on him!

Niel:  We can't.  The storyline writers stopped giving us new boss monsters.  I suspect that they're onto us.

Michael:  But there's no way they could figure us out.

Niel:  That was my first thought.  But apparently we were wrong.  So hurry up.

(Niel leaves)

Michael:  Hey!  Yo!  Brian!  Are you there?

Voice from inside the forcefield:  Hey Michael!  Take over the world yet?

Michael:  Man, you idiot!  That's not what we're REALLY trying to do!

Brian's voice:  I bet that's what you want me to think.

Michael:  Nevermind.  How's Anne?

Brian's voice:  She's fine.  She has Jared to look after her.

Michael:  Damn.... DAMN!

Brian:  Ha, don't worry about it!  Nothing has happened between the two.  You should just relax a little.

Michael:  Jared had better not break her heart or anything like that.  I have to see her.

Brian:  Sorry Mike, but you're not part of the party here.  The only one who has permision to rejoin us is Lenore.  She was supposed to have been with us from the start but she couldn't back out of the Wutai exchange program or she'd lose her deposit.  Hehe, she must be having a fit at knowing that Jared and Anne are trapped together here.

Michael:  Lenore?  She's not with you!  You must be lying.  She's with Tenko!

Brian:  Really, I mean it.  Why would she be with Tenko?  She doesn't really like him.  Everyone just think she does.  Heck, even she thinks so.

Michael:  JUST LET ME IN!

Brian:  Can't.  Unless Lenore gave you permission to come in and take her place.

Michael:  Um, yea, she did.  Now can I come in?

Brian:  Tell me her password.  I gave her a password.

Michael:  They aren't supposed to know that you can control the entry way into this damn thing!

Brian:  Bah, they won't suspect a thing.  Calm down.  Now what's the password?

Michael:  I don't know!  What is her password?  Do me a favor and tell me it.

Brian:  Um... I forgot.

Michael:  Okay, the password is "Um... I forgot."

Brian:  No, I really did forget what her password is!

Michael:  ARGH!  How am I supposed to tell you the password so you'll let me in when you don't even know the password?

Brian:  Beats me.  I guess I'll just have to take your word for it on whatever the password is.

Michael:  Oooooookay, Lenore's password is... um... 90210.

Brian:  It is?

Michael:  Yep!

Brian:  Great!  Now that I remember the password, you can say it and I'll let you in.

Michael:  90210

Brian:   Bingo!

(Michael dissappears)

Brian:  Gee... um... I either teleported him into here or I disintegrated him.  I hope it wasn't the latter.

(Yuffie, Nathan, and Irene run up to the forcefield.  Yuffie gets the choice, "Risk being disintegrated?"  Yuffie picks "Yes")

Yuffie:  90210!  90210!

Brian:  SHH!!!  Not so loud!

(Yuffie, Nathan, and Irene dissappear)
 
 
 

(Yuffie looks around)

Yuffie:  What... what?  It looks like we're in some sort of hallway.

(Yuffie looks into a door)

Yuffie:  And this room... looks... like... a... NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Nathan:  What?

Yuffie:  IT'S A CLASSROOM!

Nathan:  Huh?  So?

Yuffie:  Don't you get it?  We're trapped!  IN SCHOOL!!!  Trapped in school!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  Not again!!!

(Brian, a teenager with short brown hair and sunglasses hanging above his eyes walks up to Yuffie)

Brian:  Hey there!  Welcome to Midgar High.  Name's Brian.  I'm the most popular student in Midgar High!  Er, well, third most.  Darn Jared and Tenko...

Nathan:  Hi.  I'm Nathan.  And this is Yuffie and Irene.

Yuffie:  AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Brian:  What's wrong with her?

Nathan:  She hates school.

Brian:  Who doesn't?

Nathan:  Well, actually, I...

Brian:  Oh, we shouldn't waste time yapping around here.  Lenore probably already told you guys about everyone, but you should meet them in person.

Nathan:  What?

(Brian leads Nathan down the hall)

Nathan:  Yuffie, stop crying and come on.

Yuffie:  Yea....
 
 
 

(A lot of students are chatting to each other in the halls.  Brian leads Yuffie to two female students in the center who don't look like everyone else.  One has long smooth dark hair with a ribbon and the other has rough short dark purple hair.  Both are wearing standard Midgar school uniforms.)

Brian:  Hey, where's Jared?  Lenore sent us some reinforcements.

Yuffie:  Um... hi?

Brian:  This is Nathan, and these are his two party members, Yuffie and Irene.

Nathan:  Hiya.

Yuffie:  Hey, wait.  This is MY party!

Nathan:  Aw, why can't it ever be my party?

Yuffie:  Because my birthday is closer!  Therefore deductive logic would tell us that this is probably my party.

Nathan:  Oh.  Guess you can't go against reasoning like that.

(Brian looks at the short haired teenager)

Brian:  Hey Yunil, I asked you a question.

Yunil:  Jared?  He's fighting around gaining levels with Helen.  But... what's with the wierd costume?

Yuffie:  Hey, this is my super ultra Hunter X camo stealth suit!

Nathan:  It's special, it is.

Yunil:  And the bird?  I can understand Hunter X but Birdman went out of style a long time ago.

Irene:  >(

Yuffie:  She's not a bird.  She just looks like one.

Irene:  (Right now I wish I really did have a beak so I could peck your damn eyes out.)

Yuffie:  I was joking!  Sheesh.

Brian:  Wait... only Helen?  That's only two people.  We can have three at a time in the party.  What's Jared thinking?

Yunil:  You get more experience points with less people in the party.

Brian:  But we already are low on people as it is.  I'm not sure how many more will fit in the nurse's office.  He's taking too big a risk.  Even I know that.

Yunil:  If you're so worried, we'll check on him.  Come on, Anne.

(Yunil motions to the other girl besides her)

Anne:  Jared's fine.  There's nothing that he can't do.

(Anne and Yunil leave)

Brian:  I never could understand Jared.  Or why he's so popular.  Everyone should love me, hehe.  Jared's always so depressing.  You'd say something funny to him and he would always respond with "........" and give you a funny look.  Hey, Nathan, why don't you take your girlfriends and go take a break in the lounge for a while?

(Brian leaves)

Nathan:  Huh?

Yuffie:  Huh?

Irene:  ??

Yuffie:  I don't know why but this place makes me feel very uncomfortable.  Must be the damn school atmosphere.

(Nathan's party enters the teacher's lounge where a bunch of students are watching a television on the table, drinking coffee (and booze) and talking a lot.  Brian is also there.)

Brian:  Okay, everyone.  Here we go.

(Brian puts a tape into the VHS and changes the channel of the TV)

Yunil's voice:  And now for the latest report on the school situation.

(Everyone turns to the television.  The scene is the prinicipal's office and sitting at the principle's desk is Mayor Domino, the Mayor of Midgar)

(Helen, who won't be described because she isn't a very important character, walks into camera view)

Helen:  So far, we have been stuck in Midgar High for two months.  On last report, we have defeated Cynthia and broken her tower seal.  Now I give you our principal, Mayor Domino.

(Helen walks offscreen)

Yuffie:  TWO MONTHS?!!?  Great heavenly sweet merciful crap!

Domino:  Hello!  Principal Domino and Ex-Mayor of Midgar until the next election hopefully here!  I know you are all tired of being stuck here and unable to ever exit the school but I'm sorry to inform you all that it doesn't look like we'll be leaving anytime soon.

Students:  Boo.

(All the students throw cans at the TV)

Michael:  Hey, thanks, man.  I think I'm finished here.  Guess it's time for me to go.

Brian:  Really?  Fine, I'll just go get the exit teleporter that no one knows about ready.

(Brian and Michael leave)

Domino:  But don't worry!  Sandra was beaten and the second tower seal has been broken.  We have already broken the seals on two out of four of the Snow Princess's towers.  We're halfway there to breaking the seal over the school and then class will finally be dismissed.

Students:  Yay.

(All the students throw cans at the TV)

Domino:  So remember when we get out, vote for me for mayor!

Credits

Camerawoman:  Yunil

Reporter:  Helen

Stupid Dorkus Maximus:  Mayor Domino

(The TV program ends)

(Brian appears on the screen)

Brian:  Hey everyone!  It's that time again!  Time for Brian's wonderful poll of fun!  So, who do you think is sexier of the Avalanche women?  Tifa or Aeris?

All the male students:  TIFA!

(There is a slight pause while everyone waits for something)

Student:  Oh yea, Niel isn't here to say that Aeris had more class than Tifa.

Students:  Woohoo!

(All the students throw cans at the TV)

Yuffie:  ......

Nathan:  Something wrong?

Yuffie:  Stupid poll... not even mention me.

Nathan:  Maybe they have too much respect for you because you're the one who was primarily responsible for saving the planet?

Yuffie (looking even more annoyed):  Yea....

(Brian re-enters the room)

Brian:  Hey Nathan, I'll introduce you to our fearless leader, Jared, now.

Yuffie:  You've been stuck here for two months?!?

Brian:  Yea, sucks, huh?  Good thing the school cafeteria had a large storage of food.  Too bad none of it is edible.

Nathan:  What's with these tower seals?

Brian:  Oh, the school is sealed off from the outside world by four towers.  Each of them was managed by one of the three Magus Sisters R.  But we managed to break two of them so far.  Those stupid towers take sixty hours to go through without any save points in between!

Yuffie:  Ick.

Brian:  And we didn't just have to go through those towers, either. Cynthia, the leader of the first tower, sucked us all into this dream land and we had to fight through that.  There were a lot of other sidequests that made us get sidetracked, too.

Yuffie:  Okay, that's enough.  I get nauseous just thinking of travelling through lots of school themed dungeouns for two months.

Nathan:  Well, you'd better get ready to do it yourself, soon.  They only conquered half of the towers, so logic says that we'll be stuck here for another two months before we get out.

Yuffie:  WHAT?

Brian:  Wow!  I never thought of it that way.  Wait... that's bad.  Oh well, time to get those two months to start ticking away.  Come on, Jared should be back now.  I'll introduce you guys to him then we can get to work on beating the third tower.

(Brian leaves)

Yuffie:  Mental note.  Don't ever risk getting disintegrated again!
 
 
 

(Brian leads Nathan's party to the courtyard in the center of the school.  You can actually see the sky from there since it's outside the building, although the sky is a nice funky red color.  Anne is happily yapping about some stuff to Jared while Yunil stands by with an impatient look on her face.  Behind them in the center of the courtyard is a medium sized statue of Drexler)

Brian:  Hooray, our fearless leader.  Hmph.

(Brian walks up to Jared)

Brian:  Hey mute man!  Lenore sent us some reinforcements to help us out because she couldn't come, herself!

(Jared looks at Brian)

Anne:  Haha, we don't need them as long as Jared's around.

Yunil:  I'm not so sure.  Helen got attacked from behind while fighting around with Jared and we had to put her in the nurse's station because we can't get those stupid phoenix downs to work.  But we won't have a reporter to keep the students calm with propaganda if she's gone.

Anne:  Jared will think of something!

Jared:  ........

Brian:  Anyway, this is Nathan.  His party is going to help us fight against the snow princess.

Yuffie:  That's enough!!!  I'm the leader, dammit!

Brian:  You are?

Yuffie:  YES!

Brian:  Gee, I was under the impression that Nathan was the leader.

Yuffie:  What the hell is wrong with you?  Why would he be the leader!?

Brian:  Well, he does look kinda geeky.

Nathan:  .......

Brian:  But he's the only male around, and it always is a guy that's the leader.

Yunil:  And what are you implying by that?

Brian:  Not that a gal would be any less competant, but I have yet to see a... um...

(All the girls are giving Brian angry looks)

Brian:  Okay, forget the female crack.  But she doesn't dress like a leader, look like a leader, or act like a leader, so there!

Yuffie:  I don't?

(Yuffie thinks for a moment)

Yuffie:  (Hmm.... he's right.  I wonder how I could be more like a leader?)

Irene:  (First you should develop a severe case of schizophrenia, stop talking so much, always be depressed, and somehow get everyone to like you despite all those character flaws.)

Yuffie:  (Hey!  That's a good idea!  Thanks, Irene!)

Irene:  (You're welcome.)

Nathan:  Yuffie?  Irene?

(Nathan waves his hand in front of Yuffie, then Irene)

Nathan:  Hello?  HELLO?

Yuffie:  Whoa!  What?

Nathan:  You were spacing out for a moment there.

Yuffie:  I was?  Cool!  I'm more like a leader already!

Brian:  I'd hate to interupt whatever the hell you two are talking about but we still have two more months of dungeoun crawling to do.

Yunil and Anne:  Two months?!?

Brian:  Yep!  Nathan used his dorky genius to come to the conclusion that since it took us two months to get through the first two towers, it'll take two more to get through the other two!

(Yunil and Anne stare in dumbfounded amazement for a good ten seconds)

(Anne bursts into tears and starts crying all over Jared)

Anne:  WAAAAAAAH!!!!  We're never going to get out of here!

Yunil:  Not exactly never.  Just two months.

Anne and Yuffie:  AAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Jared:  .......

(Jared steps away from Anne, who promptly falls to the floor)

Yunil (To Anne):  Oh go grab a nice cup of suck-it-up and stop whining like a bitch!

Yuffie:  Gawd, I don't see how you put up with being trapped here without going crazy or something.

(Yuffie looks at the statue of Drexler)

Yuffie:  Eh?  Who's that?  He looks familiar.

Yunil:  That's the statue of the school's guardian.  Legend has it that he was the first student president at Midgar High, but then he had to leave because some program for gifted students picked him up, even though his grades were only mediocre.  The legend says that in the time of trouble, he'll save our school from destruction.

Brian:  Hehe, he also appeared to all of us in some dream and gave Jared some special powers, but Jared hasn't figured out how to use them yet.

Anne:  Wierd, huh?

Yuffie:  Bizzare.

Yunil:  By retrieving the gem in each of the four towers and bringing them here, we'll be able to break the seal over this school.

Brian:  So let's get started!  Jared, choose which two party members you'll take with you for the next tower.

Yuffie:  Why does Jared have to go?

Brian:  Because he's our leader.

Anne:  Duh.

Yuffie:  Oh.  I guess that makes sense to always drag your leader through the most dangerous situations.  We did that with Cloud and he was an unstable maniac during that time.  Oh sure, we paid the price for always having him in the party when he did such infamous deeds as hand the black materia over to Sephiroth or try to kill Aeris, but who am I to judge?

Brian:  Well, Jared?

(Jared looks around at everyone.  Yuffie is jumping up and down screaming "Me!  Me!")
 
 
 
 

(Jared, Yuffie, and Yunil arrive in front of the third tower at a corner of the school.  The third tower is made out rock that is the color of lava.  Like the courtyard, this tower is outside of the building, although further on, the red forcefield keeps people from leaving)

(Nathan runs up to Yuffie.  Irene is with him)

Nathan:  I can't just let you go there without me!  You have to take me along.

Irene:  :)

Yuffie:  Sure, why not?

Yunil:  But the party member limit...

Yuffie:  Bah, screw that!

Yunil:  Whatever....

(Jared's party walks to the door but Fresca appears in front of them and blocks them off.  Except this time she's wearing white instead of blue)

Fresca?:  Hold it right there, Jar Jar Dinks!  You have to abide by the three party member limit or you'll be severely punished!

Jared:  ......

Yunil:  Why do you always call him that?

Yuffie:  Fresca?  What are you doing here?

Fresca?:  Oh, Yuffaruni!  I'm just.... wait a minute!  I'm not falling for that trick again!  Fresca?  Who's Fresca?  I'm not Fresca.  I'm the Snow Princess, Pepsi!

Yuffie:  What the hell?

Yunil:  It's the Snow Princess!  Kill her!

(Jared takes out a really big sword and charges while Yunil pulls some razors out and darts them at Pepsi, but she sends them both flying back with a wave of her hand)

Pepsi:  Hahaha,  you can't harm me until you undo all the tower seals, so don't bother!

Jared:  ........

Pepsi:  But I won't let you even try with five party members! You're only allowed to have three, so get rid of three of them.  Buh bye!

Yuffie:  Bye, Fresca!

Pepsi:  Bye, Yuffa... HEY!  Stop calling me "Fresca!"

(Pepsi spirits away)

(Jared walks up to the door and tries to turn the knob)

Yunil:  It won't open.  I guess three of us have to go.

Yuffie:  So long, Jared and Yunil!

(Jared and Yunil look at Yuffie)

Yuffie:  What?

Nathan:  Hmm... now what?

Yunil:  Well, we could allow more to come along if they came along as npcs that just followed you around on the map screen but never participate in battle for some reason.  Or as guests, but our AI controller is broken so that option's out.

Yuffie:  I know!

(Yuffie runs away and comes back dressed in her Miss Kisa, reporter extraordinaire, outfit)

Nathan:  Hey!  YOU were the reporter at the Saphire Weapon attack on Junon?

Yuffie:  Oh, so you only figure out now?  Sheesh.

Yunil:  Um, dressing differently isn't going to help the situation.

Yuffie:  I'll tag along as a reporter!  You said you needed one, right?

Yunil:  I guess...

Yuffie:  And Jared, Yunil, and Nathan can make up the main party!  Course, it's risky since I'm much more reliable than Nathan, but he doesn't have any experience as a reporter.  Now what to do with Irene...

Irene:  ??

Nathan:  Don't worry, she can switch to auto mode and thus fight alongside as a guest.

Yuffie:  Automode?  What the hell do you mean?

Nathan:  WHOA!  Um, nothing!  Forget what I just said!  Um... well I'm sure that they won't count a bird as a party member so she can come along.

(Irene pecks Nathan's eyes out)

Nathan:  AAAAAAAH!

Yuffie:  Um.... Irene?  How the hell did you just do that?

Irene:  >{

Yunil:  Okay, so everything is decided.  Let's go.  Yuffie will take notes and I'll handle the camera, since that's what I always do.

(Yuffie looks up.)

Yuffie:  Gee, this tower doesn't look that tall... how come it takes so long to beat it?

(Everyone enters)

(The party is in a quiet room which is empty except for two candles)

(Minerva, a student with blue hair, a somewhat Selphie like hairstyle, and a generic school uniform like the ones Yunil, Anne, and Lenore wear, appears in front of Jared)

Minerva:  Welcome!  To the ultima tower!  I am the third Magus Sister R and your host, Minerva.  You did a good job in getting past Cynthia and Sandra.  But you won't get past me.

(Minerva smiles)

Minerva:  Unlike Cynthia and Sandra, I became a boss of the towers because I'm just plain selfish.  Cynthia was tired of being picked on and Sandra was just dumped by her boyfriend, but I'm in it just for the power.

(Minerva dissappears)

Yuffie:  I still don't see why it takes so long to beat each tower.

(Jared's party enters the main tower)

Yuffie:  Aw crap.

(A humongous maze is awaiting the group)

Yunil:  Each tower consists of ten floors.  Each floor takes about six hours to wind your way through until you get to the next.  And there are no save points anywhere.

Yuffie:  ACK!  There has to be another way through this!  I'm not going through this!  Let's try something else.

(Everyone exits the tower and looks up)

Yuffie:  I know!  We'll have Irene fly us up there!

Irene:  ??

Yuffie:  Yunil, get that camera ready and rolling so all the students can see the genius of a superior leader at work!  We'll send Irene to pick you up, later.

(Yuffie looks at Irene)

Yuffie:  Well?  Pick us up and fly us up to the top of the tower.  Those wings have to be good for something!

(Irene flies up and lands on Yuffie's shoulders)

Yuffie:  What the hell are you doing?  Oh yea, I forgot.  Birds don't have hands and carry things with their two claws... or their beaks, but you obviously can't do either.

(Yuffie grabs onto Irene's leg and Irene begins frantically flapping her wings and lifts off)

(Nathan and Jared grab onto Yuffie)

(Irene carries them all up until they are halfway up the tower)

Yuffie:  Hehe, I didn't know Irene could carry this much weight!

Nathan:  Hehe, she can't!

(Irene crashes to the floor along with everyone else)

(Yuffie gets up and coughs out some dirt, then looks at Yunil)

Yuffie:  Did you get that on tape?

Yunil:  Yep.

Yuffie:  Drat.  Do me a favor and cut some of it out.

Yunil:  What parts?

Yuffie:  Everything.

(Yuffie takes out her grappling hook.  It can be her own ninja grappling hook or that one she picked up from Edrick's Super Duper Clockwork Company.  Doesn't matter)

Yuffie:  Guess I'll have to do this the hard way.

(Yuffie throws the hook up and starts climbing along with everyone else as Irene flies up along with her)

(Sixty hours later)

(Everyone jumps onto the top of the tower)

Yuffie:  Woohoo!!!  We did it!  See how good a leader I am?

Yunil:  Whatever.  But how do we get in?

(Yuffie notices there's no way to get into the top floor from the roof)

Yuffie:  Um...  Nathan?  You wouldn't happen to have any dynamite on you, would you?

Nathan:  Nope.  If Lenore was here, I could use her gunpowder...

Yuffie:  Ack!  Nevermind!

(Nathan pulls a drill out of his backpack)

Nathan:  Gee, I really need to keep tabs on what I borrowed from Edrick and what I didn't.  I'm not even sure what tools I have in here.

(Yuffie grabs the drill and drills a hole in the roof)

(The roof caves in and everyone falls down splat into the top floor of the tower.... which is now the new roof of the tower)

Yuffie:  Woohoo!  Did you catch that on tape?

Yunil:  Yea.

Yuffie:  Can you cut some stuff out?

Yunil:  What parts?

Yuffie:  Cutting out the part where we all slammed into the floor would be nice.

Yunil:  Whatever.

(Minerva bursts out of the rubbage)

Minerva:  WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?

Yuffie:  Hiya!

Jared:  .......

Nathan:  Well, we're here.  So... um... let's fight!

Minerva:  No way!  You've messed up everything.  I had this room all prepared and specially decorated but you had to come crashing in and now the atmosphere is completely ruined.  Fortunately, the floor below is a big empty room so I could use that instead, but it was supposed to be the calm before the storm!  I'll kill you all down there.

(Minerva goes down the stairs)

Yunil:  ..... What's with these people?

(Everyone runs downstairs.  It's a big dark room with a red carpet through the center)

Minerva:  Great.  This stinks.  The top floor had candlelight and a pentagram!  But this room has nothing.  Oh well.

(Minerva glances at Jared)

Minerva:  How did you get up here so fast?  Considering that there are no save points in the tower so you'd have to start all the way at the beginning when you screwed up, it should have taken you a whole month to get up here.  And that's not including the fact that my tower is harder than the other two!

Jared:  ........

Minerva:  And why do you have five people with you?  I thought you could only get past the tower door with three, unless they aren't going to participate in any battle.

Yuffie:  We didn't take the door to get into here, so we can bring as many people as we want.

Minerva:  What's going on?!?

(A cloaked woman appears behind Minerva)

Masked woman:  ........

Yunil:  Hey, it's that mysterious lady again!

(Minerva looks at the cloaked woman)

Minerva:  Um... this might be asking a lot, but could you make the boss REALLY powerful, this time?  It has to fight five people, not just three!

(The cloaked woman snaps her fingers and she and Minerva dissappear)

(A big ugly white blobblish rotting alien appears)

Yuffie:  What the hell is that?

Minerva's voice:  I hope you enjoy your battle with Microdeus!

Yuffie:  Huh?  What the heck does it do?

(Microdeus causes a huge explosion that halves everyone's hp, including it's own)

Nathan:  Ouch!  Okay, that was strange.

(Yunil blasts Microdeus with a fire spell, but Microdeus simply recovers it's hp back)

Nathan:  Hey, it's the same type of spell that Lenore uses!

Yuffie:  I never saw fire magic look like that before.  What kind of materia is that?

Yunil:  We don't need materia to cast our magic.

Yuffie:  How is that possible?

(Yuffie slices Microdeus, but it counters by recovering all it's hp back)

Yuffie:  Um...

(Microdeus halves everyone's hp again)

Yuffie:  Dammit!

(Yuffie charges at Microdeus again but Jared stops her)

Yunil:  That isn't working!

(Microdeus halves everyone's hp again)

Nathan:  Does this thing do anything else?

(Irene casts cure 2 on everyone)

(Microdeus smacks Nathan)

Nathan:  Ouch!  So it basically keeps halving your hp until you're weak then smacks you to death?

(Yuffie smacks the weakened Microdeus and it explodes, leaving a red gem)

Yuffie:  Who's the loser who designed that boss?

(A disgruntled Squaresoft programmer runs up to Yuffie, punches her, then runs away)

Nathan:  Well, we beat it.  So now what?

(Yunil takes the red gem and puts it into her backpack)

Yunil:  Now that the seal in this tower is broken, we fight our way back through the tower back to the school.

(everyone groans)

Nathan:  We could always go down the same way we went up.

Yuffie:  No way!  I'm not risking any more stupid long drops.  Damn gravity.

Nathan:  Then I guess we'll have to go through the entire tower backwards until we reach the bottom.

Yuffie:  Gawd...

(Sixty hours later)

(Everyone bursts out of the tower door)

Yunil:  Whew!  That wasn't so bad.

(Yuffie gasps)

Yuffie:  I think I'm starting to develop claustrophobia!

Yunil:  Well, I hope you're still sane enough for the last tower left.  After that, we can take the four gems we got from there to the main seal and use the gems to break it.

(Brian, who is standing outside, is really surprised)

Brian:  Holy shit, that was fast!  Er, compared to the usual at least.

Yunil:  Well, all the better.  We'll get to work on the last tower tomorrow.

Brian:  Already?  You should slow down!  The last tower is the hardest yet.  You need to gain some more combat experience first and....

Yunil:  We've wasted enough time already.

(Yunil starts walking towards the school)

Yuffie:  Yea, I want to get out of here as soon as possible.  Lenore had better appreciate me going through all this trouble just to help her friends.

Jared:  ......
 
 
 
 

(That night...)

(Yuffie tip toes past a bunch of the students asleep in the halls, who are using their backpacks for pillows etc.  Irene is fluttering behind her.)

Yuffie:  Inherent magical powers... psh.  Aeris was a freaking Cetra and she still needed to draw her magic from materia.  Even holy needed her white materia to operate.  These guys must have a secret materia stash somewhere.

Irene:  :)

Yuffie:  I'm only letting you come along because your feet don't have to touch the floor so I'm not worried about you making any noise.

(Irene nods)

(Yuffie stops outside the teacher's lounge)

Yuffie:  This seems to be the main gathering place.  In here, perhaps?

(Irene starts to enter, but Yuffie grabs her back)

Yuffie:  Watch out!  Someone's inside.

(Yuffie peeks inside to see Brian talking with Anne)

Anne:  What's wrong?  We're almost done!  Soon we can finally get out of here.  I don't understand.

Brian:  It'll be a disaster, Anne.  You don't know it.  None of you do.  But this whole sealed school thing is merely a farce.

Anne:  It seems real enough to me!

Brian:  There isn't any evil snow princess who wants us to be trapped in here forever!  It's all just an act to give off the illusion of an adventure!

Anne:  I still don't understand.

Brian:  Look, remember Genmari?

Anne:  Genmari?  He was our classmate, but he's the one responsible for all these monsters because he wants to rule the world or something, isn't he?  Although I wouldn't worry.  Tenko went after him and he's almost as good as Jared!

Brian:  Genmari isn't the villain!

Anne:  He made a pact with demons from hell to enslave our school!  That seems pretty villainous to me.

Brian:  It wasn't a pact with demons.  It was a pact with an alien race.  Genmari is merely pretending to be a villain so the aliens can be entertained with our adventures here while he tries to stop them from destroying our world.  In order to make things more interesting, those aliens gave us all inherent magical abilities, too!  How else do you think we got them?

Anne:  Aliens?  ALIENS?  Hahaha!!!  That's just silly.

Brian:  Is it?  Michael is helping Genmari right now.  That's why he won't stay in this school and help us, even though he obviously worries about you.

Anne:  R... really?  You're lying!  Michael wouldn't....

Brian:  Think about it.

Anne:  I...

(Brian takes out an orb and hands it to Anne)

Yuffie:  OOooooo, I knew that they had some materia!  I knew it!

Anne:  What's this?

Brian:  It's an orb.  It was created by that alien race, but unlike our magic, they can't control who can use it and who can't.  When the time comes to fight against them, they'll probably take away all our magic, but you'll still be able to use this.

Anne:  Huh?

Brian:  We only have one tower and the main seal left.  I hope Genmari hurries.  Those newcomers that Lenore sent have made things move along faster than Niel calculated.

Anne:  But what happens if we do remove the seal?

Brian:  I don't know.  But Lenore once asked me this question before she left after Jared proclaimed that he would stop the demon threat.  She asked if I believed in "happily ever after."  As in, do all bad things just end?

Anne:  All things can't just "end," can they?

Brian:  I don't know, but I sure as hell don't want to find out.

(Brian leaves)

(Yuffie and Irene walk into the room)

Anne:  Hmm....

Yuffie:  Hiya!  You wouldn't happen to know where he stores the other materia orbs, do you?

Anne:  Huh?  Not really.

(Yuffie looks at Anne's orb)

Yuffie:  Gee, that doesn't look like materia at all.  It looks more like the ninja orb and earth orb I have.

Anne:  I can't believe Brian.  He doesn't have any real proof and he always believed too much nonsense, anyway.

Yuffie:  Then can I have the orb?

(Anne glares at Yuffie)

Anne:  Maybe, just in case, I'll hold onto this.  You said you already had two.  Why do you need more?

(Anne leaves)

Yuffie:  Sheesh, she's too selfish.  Right, Irene?

Irene:  :)
 
 
 
 

(The next day)

(Yunil walks into the teacher's lounge and puts three gems on the table.  Yuffie is asleep on the couch and Irene is sleeping in a standing position on the table)

Yunil:  Wake up.

Yuffie:  Huh?

Yunil:  We have to get going.

(Yuffie sleepily looks at the clock on the wall)

Yuffie:  What the hell?  It's six in the morning!  Shouldn't we be well rested for the final tower?

Yunil:  You want to get out of here, right?  Then get up!

(Yunil leaves as Yuffie gets up and Irene yawns and starts cleaning her wings)

Yuffie:  Gawd....

(Yuffie and Irene walk to the main hall, where Yunil, Jared, Anne, Brian, and Nathan are waiting)

Yunil:  Okay, once we break the seal on the fourth tower and recieve the fourth gem, we can go to the statue of Drexler and use the gems to break the seal over our school.  Then this hell will finally be over and we can all live happily ever after.

Anne:  Happily ever after?

Yunil:  We'll all go together.  We can forget about the three party member limit.  Yuffie proved that.

Anne:  Yunil, I... I think I'll stay back here.  I'll keep the gems safe!  Just in case!

Yunil:  Hmm....

Anne:  Jared?  You wouldn't need to worry about me!

Jared:  .......

Yunil:  Fine, if Jared agrees, then you can stay back here.

Yuffie:  Sigh... here comes another sixty hour long tower...

(Jared, Yuffie, Nathan, Yunil, Brian, and Irene go to the last tower which is in a corner of the school)

Yuffie:  $@$#(.....

(They enter it.  Inside is just a big empty room.  No staircase or anything)

Yuffie:  Huh?  What are we supposed to do, now?

(Pepsi appears)

Pepsi:  Aw phooey, it looks like you almost have me beat!  I guess this is the final showdown!  Cynthia!

(A female student with glasses, short brown hair, and a constantly depressed look appears)

Cynthia:  Oh no....

Pepsi:  Sandra!

(Another female student with long blond curly hair appears)

Sandra:  Oh, here we are!

Pepsi:  Minerva!

(Minerva appears)

Minerva:  This will be good.

(The mysterious cloaked woman appears)

Pepsi:  Win, and you can all finally be free from your troubles.

(Pepsi dissappears)

Sandra (to Brian):  Oh, howdy there, my wonderful beautiful hunk!  Why don't we stop fighting each other and run off together?

Brian:  ACK!  STOP THAT!  Leave me alone!  Dammit, why can't you hit on Jared like all the other girls do?!?

Jared:  ......

Brian:  What's going on?  Where's the sixty hour long tower?

Minerva:  We had a... um... budget cut.  There won't be any fourth tower to travel through.  Instead, you'll have to fight us right here.

Brian:  WHAT?

Cynthia:  This isn't good.  This is terrible!  We're all in trouble!

Minerva:  Oh stop that!  We can take them on!  We just have to entertain them for a little longer, then Genmari will be finished.

Brian:  Um... gee...

(Brian nervously smiles)

Brian:  Hey Minerva, don't you have some demons trying to steal the three gems we have?

Minerva:  Huh?

Brian:  You KNOW, you sent some demons to go after the three gems we left in the lounge while we were distracted here.

Minerva:  I did?

Brian:  YEEEEEEEEES.....

Minerva:  Oh!  Um... yea, that's right!

Brian:  Well shoot!  I'd better go protect Anne!

(Brian runs away)

Yunil:  What the hell was that about?

Minerva:  I have no clue, really.

Sandra:  Aw, Brian's gone?  Drat!  Now what is my motivation?

Cynthia:  This is bad...

Minerva:  Just shut up, you two!  We can beat these pathetic people.

Yunil:  We're pathetic?  Cynthia sold out this entire school just because too many students made fun of her.  Sandra did it simply because she was mad at her ex-boyfriend!  And you did it just because... um... you did it for the hell of it!  That's pathetic!

Cyntha:  There you go again!  Why does everyone always pick on me?

Sandra:  Well, I don't care if I'm pathetic as long as I get what I want!

Cynthia:  But Brian's not here.

Sandra:  Oh yea, forgot about him.  But right now I was talking about wanting revenge on my stupid ex-boyfriend.

Minerva:  Let's go!

(All three of the Magus Sisters R turn to the mysterious cloaked woman)

Minerva:  Do it now!

Sandra:  Here it comes!

Cynthia:  I hope this works.

Masked Woman:  .......Kya ha ha.  What fools you all are.  I can't do everything for you.  It's time that you finally used your own abilities and stopped relying on demons to do all your work for you.

Minerva:  What?  You're not abandoning us too, are you?  Our last tower was already cut down in size!

Masked Woman:  You still have your special magic.  Use it.

(The cloaked woman dissappears)

Cynthia:  This isn't good.

Sandra:  Hmph!

Minerva:  So I guess this is it.  Our final battle.

(Minerva glares at Jared)

Minerva:  You'll never beat the three Magus Sisters R!

(Enter boss battle with Final Fantasy Six boss music)

(Yuffie blasts all three of the sisters using her father's enemy skill materia trine spell)

Sandra:  Hey!  They're using materia!

Cynthia:  How did they get that in here?

Minerva:  That's cheating!  And they still have more than three party members!

Yunil:  What does it mean to you?  We'll kill you here so we can stop your damn whining.

(Jared casts Magic Up on everyone)

Yuffie:  Wow, never seen that spell before...

(Irene casts Protect on Yuffie while Nathan uses his drill on Minerva)

(Yuffie and Sandra cringe)

Minerva:  OW!!!  WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?  You freaking used a damn DRILL on me!!!

(Nathan looks at Yuffie)

Nathan:  What?  Is something wrong?  Should I just keep on using the heavy fire weapons like the bazooka and laser instead?

Yuffie:  Ugh, nevermind.  Just use whatever you want.  But that look like it really hurt.

(Sandra casts reflect on herself while Minerva blasts everyone with Ultima)

(Yunil casts Cure 2 on everyone)

(Cynthia casts sleep on everyone, putting Nathan and Irene to sleep)

(Yuffie smacks Irene to wake her up)

(Jared blasts the three sisters with his Luminaire spell)

Yuffie:  Wow, never saw that spell either.

(Cynthia uses her Dream Eater move on Nathan, eating up his dreams of winning the FF8 Win-A-Car sweepstakes and thus sucking his health and giving it to her)

(Yuffie smacks Nathan who quickly wakes up)

Nathan:  Hey, where did my car go?

(Minerva blasts everyone with Ultima again)

Yuffie:  Stupid cheap overly powerful ultima spell!  Now you're really going to get it!

(Yuffie unleashes her All Creation limit break, sending Minerva, Cythia, and Sandra slamming against the back wall)

(Cynthia and Sandra quickly jump to their feet, but Minerva doesn't)

Yunil:  Wow...

(Irene casts Cure 3 on everyone)

Cynthia:  I can't fight them here!  I have to fight them on my own turf.

Sandra:  That's Yuffie, one of the Avalanche members!

Yuffie:  Hooray!  You've heard of me?

Cynthia:  I remember hearing about Cloud, some stupid cat on a moogle, some vampire, Mr. T, Playboy's #1 covergirl, a Cetra, and a dog, but I don't remember hearing about Yuffie.

Sandra:  She's the annoying one that no one likes.

Cynthia:  Oh.

Yuffie:  HEY!!!

(Yunil darts some razors at Cynthia)

(Minerva gets up)

Minerva (gasping for breath):  Cynthia, take her out!

(Cynthia casts Sleep 3 on Yuffie)

Yuffie:  Wow, never saw that spell either.  Huh?

(Yuffie looks around and she's in a foggy room.  In the sky she can see Minerva and Sandra battling everyone else)

Cynthia:  I'll have to defeat you in Dreamland.

(Four big teddy bears with sharp teeth appear around Yuffie)

Yuffie:  Uh oh...

(The area starts shaking)

Yuffie:  Whoa!  What's going on?

(Meanwhile...)

Nathan:  Yuffie!  Wake up!

(Nathan is slapping Yuffie)

Yunil:  Stop that!  She's not getting up anytime soon!  Help us here!

(Back in Dreamland)

(Yuffie flips away from a teddy bear that tried to grab her while Cynthia floats in the air and throws energy balls at her)

(Yuffie deathblow's Cynthia with her shurikan using Cloud's deathblow materia.  Cynthia crashes to the ground)

(Yuffie runs up to Cynthia and stabs her with the Murasame)

Cynthia:  Drexler didn't predict that I would die here.  But I knew this was a bad idea...

(Yuffie looks around and she's back with everyone else)

Nathan:  Come on, Yuffie!  You have to wake up!

(Nathan slaps Yuffie again)

(Yuffie starts strangling Nathan)

Yuffie:  Dammit!

(Yuffie shoves Nathan away)

Yuffie:  Don't ever do that again!

Nathan:  But whenever someone else is in the sleep status you gladly hit them.

Yuffie:  Well that's different!

Sandra:  Um, she's awake.

Minerva:  What?

(Sandra and Minerva look at Cynthia)

(Cynthia slowly opens her eyes, puts her hand to her forehead, and stumbles back)

Cynthia:  I'm sorry, but I couldn't...

(Yunil's eyes narrow and she grins)

Yunil:  I guess you're just about done then.

(Yunil whips out a glowing razor and darts it straight at Cynthia's neck.  Cynthia clutches her throat and falls back)

(Everyone stares wide-eyed at Yunil)

(Minerva and Sandra run over and kneel by Cynthia)

Minerva:  What are you doing?!?  What have you done?!?

Yunil:  Why are you looking at me like that, Jared?  We came to kill these three and now we finally will.

Minerva (crying):  Cynthia!!!  Please wake up!  This isn't supposed to be happening!

Sandra:  Minerva, we don't have time for this!

(Yunil darts another glowing razor which slams into Minerva's arm, drawing blood)

Minerva:  AAAAH!!!!

(Minerva and Sandra get up)

Minerva:  No!  You'll be the ones to die here!

(Minerva kneels and uses her accumulate move, increasing her attack power)

(Sandra casts Cure 3 on Minerva)

Yunil:  Why are you all standing there staring like idiots?

Nathan:  Um...

Jared:  .......

(Jared puts his hand to his chin in thought)

(Minerva blasts everyone with her Ultima spell)

(Jared takes out his sword and slashes Minerva)

(Sandra casts Protect on Minerva)

Yuffie:  Dammit...

(Yuffie uses her Clear Tranquil limit break)

(Irene casts shell on Yuffie)

(Nathan blasts Sandra with his laser)

Sandra:  How were we supposed to take this?

Yunil:  Easy.  You weren't.

(Yunil whips out some more glowing razors and darts them at Sandra.  They fly straight into her forehead.  Sandra screams and falls to the ground)

Yuffie:  What kind of weapon is that?

Nathan:  Wow, it even has killing power just like your shurikans, Yuffie.

Yuffie:  Sh... Shaddup!  How dare you!?  It wasn't always like that!

Jared:  Yunil, where did you get those?

Minerva:  Oh god...

Yunil:  Begging won't get you anywhere.

(Minerva backs up and looks at Cynthia's corpse and notices all of the blood coming from it)

Minerva:  Oh god...

(Minerva begins casting a magic spell)

Yuffie:  Wait, I recognize that chanting!  Oh crap!  That's...

(Minerva casts Ultima 2, blowing everyone away except Yunil, who recieves no damage)

Yuffie:  Gawd dammit.... 9999 hit point strike....

(Struggling but able to stay conscious thanks to Irene's shell spell, Yuffie looks up at Yunil)

Minerva:  How can you still be...

Yunil:  Time for you to join your team mates.

(Yunil takes out another glowing razor and holds it close to her face.  She closes her eyes and it glows brighter, then she throws it at Minerva.  It explodes on impact, sending Minerva slamming against the back wall)

Minerva (eyes closing):  G... Genmari, I'm sorry that I couldn't last longer.  You're running out of time....

(A blue gem appears in the center of the room.  Yunil picks it up)

Yunil:  It's done.  We can finally leave this forsaken place.  Let's get the other three gems from Anne and take them to Drexler's statue in the courtyard.

(Yunil leaves)

Jared:  ........hmm.

(Jared leaves)

Nathan:  Weren't we all knocked unconscious by that Ultima 2 spell?

Yuffie:  No, you see, even if someone is wounded and unconscious from battle, they generally act like they're a-okay out of battle for some wierd reason.

Nathan:  How does that work?  Nevermind, I don't think there really is a rational answer to that question.

Yuffie:  Gee... now that you mention it, it's wierd, isn't it?

(Yuffie uses a phoenix down on Irene then Irene casts raise on Nathan)

Yuffie:  There!  All better!

Nathan:  (Eh?  Irene is awfully liberal with her use of the raise spell.  I guess Edrick screwed up the programming.)

(Yuffie, Irene, and Nathan glance at Minerva, then all run out of the tower)
 
 
 
 

(Inside the main hall at Midgar High)

Yunil:  Where is everyone?

(Yunil looks around the area)

Nathan:  Maybe those demons sent to take the gems killed them all.

Yunil:  I think Brian was bluffing when he asked Minerva about that.  In fact, I'm sure that he's in league with Genmari, too.

Jared:  ........

Yunil:  How many more traitors will we have to put up with until this is done?

(Yunil enters the lounge then quickly runs out)

Yunil:  They're gone!  The other three gems are gone!

Nathan:  I guess we know why Brian left the fight and came back here, then.

Yunil:  Damn!

Yuffie:  That still doesn't explain why everyone is gone.  If demons attacked, we would at least see signs of battle here.

Yunil:  Are they all working with Genmari?  Is everyone against us?!?

Jared:  .......

Yunil:  Jared, the evidence is too strong to ignore.  Anne and the rest of the students must have joined Brian, too.

Jared:  .......Huh?

Yunil:  Don't look at me like that, Jared.  You're in no position to argue anything.  A flat-chested bratty girl who dresses like a freak led us more efficiently than you ever did.

Yuffie:  Oooooo... hey wait.... flat-chested?

Yunil:  Are you going to take decisive action or what?

Yuffie:  Um... er... well... I guess we should go after them.  Soooo.... maybe they didn't really betray us but brought the gems to the courtyard to get ready to break the seal?  We shouldn't jump to conclusions, should we?

Yunil:  ....... You see, Jared?

Jared:  ..............

Nathan:  Ooooo, it must be fun for everyone to always go ".........", eh?

(Everyone looks at Nathan)

Nathan:  What?
 
 

(Two students are talking to each other when Yuffie's party bursts in)

Student:  Whoa!

Yuffie:  Hiya!  We're looking for where you guys put the other three gems so we can break the seal over this school.

Student:  You can't do that!

(Yunil grabs one of the students by the neck)

Yunil:  Damn you!  Where's Anne and Brian?

Other student:  Don't tell them anything, Harry!

(Yunil runs Harry through with a sword)

Yunil:  WHERE IS ANNE AND BRIAN?

Other student:  EEEEK!  Alright, I'll talk!  They're in the basement!

Yunil:  Thanks.  That's much better.

(Yunil darts a razor at the other student, killing him)

Yunil:  Oops.  Oh well.  Let's go.

Yuffie and Nathan:  Um....?

Irene and Jared:  ??

Yunil:  WELL?

Yuffie:  Um, right!

(Yunil leads everyone else to the elevator.  Three more students are there)

Student:  Jared!  What are you doing?

Yuffie:  We're trying to get the other three gems.

Yunil:  By force if necessary!

Student:  What?!?  We have to destroy them!  Larry, go get help!

(One of the students runs into the elevator while the other two draw swords)

Yunil:  Brandishing weapons on us?  Big mistake!

(The two students are quickly dispatched)

(Jared looks down at one of the students)

Jared:  .......

Yunil:  We don't have time to worry about them!  Who do they think they were, anyway?  We have to find Anne and Brian before they destroy the gems or we'll be stuck here forever while Genmari lets them in on the deal when he takes over the world!

Yuffie:  Ick...

(Everyone runs into the elevator and it goes down to the basement)

(The elevator doors open and reveal a bunch of students with crossbows and swords)

Student:  We have to stop them!  Fire!

Yuffie:  Aw crap...

(After taking out all the students)

Yuffie:  How much more of this do we have to do?

(After a couple more skirmishes, Yuffie, Nathan, Irene, Jared, and Yunil are at the end of the basement.  Brian is trying to slice the gems with his halberd as Anne watches)

Brian:  Dammit!  They're too powerful!  And Psycho Yunil will be here any moment!

Yunil:  I am here, you moron!  And who are you calling psycho?

Anne:  Yunil!  You don't understand!

Yunil:  You really believe that green aliens plan to destroy our planet and that Genmari was just using this entire ordeal to distract them?  How gullible are you two?!?

Brian and Anne:  You knew?

Yunil:  Jared!  We can't let them destroy the gems!

Jared:  ??

Yunil:  Fine, we won't kill them, but we still have to get them out of the way!

Nathan:  Well, I guess that's a better solution...

(Yunil takes out her non-glowing razors and Anne draws out her bow and they point their weapons at each other)

Anne:  Brian!!!  I can't fight Jared!

Brian:  Anne, remember that orb I gave you?  Damn!  I didn't want to have to use this!

(Brian and Anne each hold up an orb.  There is a huge flash)

(Anne fires her bow at Yunil but she quickly dodges out of the way)

(Yunil blasts Anne with some fire magic)

(Brian attacks with short jumping attacks and Anne also uses charge moves and aim moves.  The fight wages back and forth for a short time until Anne summons an army of squirrels and they all charge up to Yunil and start ripping her to shreds)

(Everyone stares)

Yuffie:  Oooooo, squirrels!

Anne:  Wow... that sure was a really... strange ability.

(Yunil flings all the squirrels off her)

Yunil:  Why are we playing around like this?

(Yunil prepares to draw her glowing razors but Jared jumps in front of her)

Jared:  Okay, everyone, that's enough!  I won't let us fight any longer until I find out what is going on!

(Jared looks at Anne and Brian)

Anne:  Well, that's much better!  But I don't really know that much.

(Anne looks at Brian)

Anne:  Brian?  Brian?  Hellooooo?

Brian:  Huh?  Sorry!  I'm just shocked that Jared said an entire sentence.

Anne:  What the hell are you talking about?

Brian:  Er, it's nothing.  Anyway, we're being invaded by green men from Mars or something!  I know it's a planet that begins with an "M" so I guess it's Mars.  Basically these aliens normally acted as overseers and didn't bother our Planet because they enjoyed watching epic struggles to save the planet from evil villains.  But since Sephiroth was killed, all the adventures were over so Genmari struck a deal with them and had them infest the school with demons for you guys to fight to provide a little more entertainment for the aliens while he went off to... uh... do something about them.  Yea, that's it!

(Yunil and Jared are staring at Brian)

Yuffie:  Oooo, I always liked Marvin the Martian.  He's cool.  I wonder if I could get his autograph?

(Yunil glares at Yuffie, then looks angrily at Anne)

Yunil:  And you believed that, Anne?

Anne:  I still trust Michael, and he's with Genmari.  He even came to visit me recently to make sure I was okay, and he said that Genmari and everyone else were worried about us, too!

Yunil:  Their worries were justified, because all of you will die here.

(Yunil slams a razor into Anne's neck, yanks it out and darts another one at Brian, which knocks him down.  She then grabs the three other gems and grins)

Yunil:  Don't worry, Jared.  There'll be a replacement for you soon enough.  All memories of this tragedy will be wiped away forever.

Jared:  What!?  Anne!

(Yunil runs past Jared as he runs up to Anne and kneels by her)

Jared:  Anne...

Anne:  What's happening?  Why did Yunil....

Jared:  Anne!  Wake up!

(Jared starts shaking Anne as Brian, badly wounded but not mortally so, crawls towards him)

Jared:  What have I done....?

Brian:  Jared!  Yunil is heading for the courtyard to undo the seal and destroy the school!

Jared:  I never heard about any seal that would destroy the school!  Why was I never let in on what was really going on?!?

Brian:  We don't have time for explanations!  If what Niel told me about the gems is true, we only have twenty minutes to stop Yunil!  If you're so unsure about what to do, just remember what Yunil did to Anne!

(Loud screeching noises are heard in the distance)

Jared:  What was that?!?

Brian:  Oh no...

(Four students run up to Brian and Jared)

Student:  AAAH!!!  It's another one of them!  And it's attacking Jared and Brian!  Kill it!

(All the students attack Irene)

Irene:  ?!?

Student:  Oops, wait.  She looks like a bird more than a seraphim.  Nevermind.

(All the students stop attacking Irene, who's now pretty pissed off)

Irene (dusting herself off):  $(@&) bird $@($.....

Student:  Brian!  A bunch of angellic beings descended from the sky and are attacking us!

Brian:  Dammit!  They know what we're up to and they're trying to kill us all!  Jared, you have to stop Yunil!  Just leave me here!

(All of the students look at Anne)

Student:  What....

Jared:  You were all helping Anne and Brian, weren't you?  Now I have to ask you to help me finish their job!  Come on!

Yuffie:  Total wierdness... I'm like, totally clueless!

Nathan:  Watch out!

(Five angellic angel shaped transparent... um... things swoop in and attack, but are quickly beaten by the combined power of Jared, Yuffie, Nathan, Irene, and a bunch of generic students)

(A 20 minute timer appears in the upper right corner of the screen)

Yuffie:  Hey Jared, if I help, will you give me all those secret materias you guys were hoarding?

(Jared looks at Yuffie)

Yuffie:  Dammit!  Why does everyone always look at me like that?!?  Fine, I'll help you for free but you owe me big time!

Nathan:  Isn't that an oxymoron?

(By now the timer reads 19 minutes)

Yuffie:  Aw dammit!  Let's just go!

(Yuffie grabs Anne's orb and everyone heads for the elevator, except for Brian, who's too badly hurt to follow)

(After fighting through some more seraphs, Jared's group reaches the elevator where Yunil is handing the gems to the mysterious cloaked woman)

(The cloaked woman dissappears as three seraphs land next to Yunil and she faces Jared)

Yunil:  You only have seventeen minutes left, Jared.

Jared:  Yunil, why are you doing this?

Yunil:  Yunil is gone, Jared.  She was smart enough to not resist and for that she gets to be in the sequel.  But you won't be so lucky!  All of your powers are false, just like Minerva's Ultima 2 spell.  They won't work anymore.  Say goodnight, boys.

Jared:  Whoever you really are, you'll pay for this!

(The seraphs are quickly killed by the students and everyone)

(Jared blasts Yunil with a fire spell that looks similar to Lenore's, but it doesn't do any damage)

Yuffie:  Oh!  Let me try!

(Yuffie blasts Yunil with a trine spell, but it does no damage)

Yunil?:  Nothing!  You can do nothing!

(Nathan uses his drill on Yunil while Irene wing slashes her.  Both attacks do lots of damage)

Yunil?:  AAAAH SHIT!!!!!!  What?!?

(Yuffie's shurikan glows just like Yunil's razors did and Yuffie darts her shurikans at Yunil)

Yuffie:  Hahaha!  Take that, bitch!  I was given the ability to penetrate storyline related defenses and Nathan's tools are handmade by himself, not granted by any aliens!

Yunil?:  This wasn't expected.  But go ahead and kill me.  I'll only reappear in another female student's body the second this one expires.  "They" made sure that the seeds of destruction were planted in every female Midgar High student.  After I die, Jared, you might just find yourself having to kill Lenore, Vivian, or Marel too.

Jared:  What are you talking about?

Student:  Jared!!!  Twelve minutes!

Jared:  But what if what she said was true?

Yunil?:  You won't get past until I'm dead, Jared!

Jared:  Damn you... Break!

Yunil?:  Break?  Your other spells didn't work on me.  What makes you think that a stone spell will?

(Jared swings his sword and it flashes and Yunil? turns to stone)

Yuffie:  Shows what you know.

(Everyone runs into the elevator and it goes up to the main floor)

(After some more seraphs, Jared runs into another student)

Student:  Guys!  Quick!  We have to help everyone else at the courtyard!

Jared:  What?

(The group quickly runs to the entrance to the courtyard, where the rest of the students in the school are having a huge battle with the seraphs)

Student:  Jared!  Five minutes!!!

Another Student:  We'll hold them off!  Go stop that masked woman!

Jared:  Good luck!

(Jared, Yuffie, Irene, and Nathan run into the courtyard.  The mysterious cloaked woman is standing in front of the statue of Drexler and has positioned the four gems around it.  The four gems flash and the statue sinks into the ground.  A large mech made out of silver polygons rises out of the ground)

Masked woman:  Kya ha ha!

(Jared runs up to the cloaked woman, who turns around)

Masked woman:  Oh, you're here already?  Curses.  That doesn't give Deus-X time to charge up it's cleansing weapon that would've wiped this school off the map.  But the only thing this changes is that Deus-X kill you manually first!  Kya ha ha!

Yuffie:  You know, I finally realize where I heard that stupid laugh before.  Scarlett?!?

(Scarlett removes her mask and throws off the cloak.  She's still dressed in a red dress but this dress is significantly more conservative than the one she used to wear)

Scarlett:  Oh?  It's one of those Avalanche clowns!  What was your name again?  Yumander?  Yuirttle?  Yuffasaur?  Yuffachu?

Yuffie:  It's Yuffie, dammit!

Nathan:  That's Scarlett?  The ex-head of Shinra weapons development?  But from what I heard and saw on TV, I thought she was a whore and always dressed like one.

Scarlett:  I wasn't a whore, you stupid geeky boy!  I was a genius who knew how to get to the top through every means possible!

Yuffie, Jared, and Nathan:  Um....

Scarlett:  But then you and Clod-boy had to come and ruin everything!

Yuffie:  Wait wait.  Back up a bit.  I'm really curious here!  Really!  Did you have sex with that old geezer, President Shinra?

Scarlett:  WHAT?!?  Hell no!

Nathan:  With Rufus?

Scarlett:  Shut up!  Shut up!  Ruffie and his father were the only men who actually appreciated me for my other two powers, knowledge and death!

Nathan:  Sex is a power?

Yuffie:  Ugh, grossness.

Scarlett:  You two are just mad because you both know that for the rest of your lives you'll be vir...

Jared:  Can we move onto a different topic, now?!?

Scarlett:  Eh?  DAMMIT!  Deus-X could have been charging up his ultimate weapon by now!

(Scarlett kicks Deus-X and it turns on and starts glowing)

Yuffie:  Wait!  How did you get in league with those "aliens," anyway?

Nathan:  She turned on that weapon!  I think we'd better stop chatting or else we'll all be vaporized!

Scarlett:  Kya ha ha!  Stickboy is right.  Not like there's anything you can do about it.

(Scarlett dissappears)

Yuffie:  I thought Brian said the aliens were green.  The only green Scarlett has is that greenish hair she gets from that wierd hair dye she uses.

Jared:  I'm really thankful and all for you guys helping me and I'd hate to interupt but we have to destroy this thing, now!

(Two invulnerable Seraphs (one male and one female and both with only one wing each) appear in Deus-X's hands and start shooting lasers at everyone while flying through the air.  The four gems start floating in a circle around Deus-X.  Deus-X has four attacks and whenever it uses one of those attacks, a gem corresponding to that attack would flash.  It's four attacks are Earthly Anointment, which blasts everyone with an earth attack, heavenly anointment, which causes various status attacks, healing, which makes him play Barney videos and sing about how he loves you... er, I mean heals itself, and fuel drain, which does nothing for some strange reason which you might be able to guess.)

Yuffie:  Fuel drain?  What the heck is that supposed to do?

Nathan:  Drain fuel, perhaps?

Yuffie:  Well DUH, but we don't really have any fuel for it to drain.  It's not like we're robots or something.

(Deus-X uses fuel drain and Irene stumbles around dizzily)

(Scarlett reappears and kicks Deus-X)

Scarlett:  You stupid thing!  I thought we programmed out that stupid fuel drain attack.  That was only useful on the first Deus and that one went beserk on us.

(Scarlett grabs the fuel drain gem, and slams it to the ground, breaking it)

Scarlett:  There we go!  Kya ha ha!  No more wasting turns using fuel drain anymore.

(Scarlett dissappears)

(Yuffie and Jared look at each other)

Yuffie and Jared:  Hmm....

(Yuffie, Jared, and Nathan shoot down the other three gems, getting rid of all of Deus-X's attacks and leaving it with no defense except those two one-winged angels)

Yuffie:  Hahaha, this should be easy now.  Some ultimate weapon this thing turned out to be.

(Everyone peppers Deus-X with various attacks and Deus-X starts exploding)

Deus-X:  Ultimate weapon charged.  Wipe commencing.

Nathan:  Huh?

Yuffie:  Um... crap?

(Deus-X flashes and lets loose a huge white blast that begins freezing up the entire courtyard.  However, a mysterious barrier blocks the blast from hitting anyone and from reaching the school.  The impact of the blast against the barrier combined with the explosion of Deus-X causes everyone to get slammed backward)

Yuffie:  AAAAH!  I'm blind!  We're all going to die!

Nathan:  Any idea where this barrier is coming from?  Aw crap, look out!

(The huge flash covers everything)
 
 
 
 

(The white light clears and Yuffie starts rubbing her eyes.  Yuffie looks around)

Yuffie:  Damn... I really AM blind.

(Yuffie is surrounded by darkness)

Yuffie:  Hello?  Nathan?  Jared?  Irene?  Some generic student?  Anyone here?  Is this the afterlife?  But I saw some sort of magical barrier protect us from the blast so I don't think we got killed by it.  Oh!  I think my sight is coming back now.  Or is the world changing before my eyes?

(A bunch of green lines form, transforming the darkness into some wierd cyberspace)

(Really funky broken up music starts)

Yuffie:  Hehe, wierd, nyuck nyuck.  But I don't recall doing any drugs or getting drunk or even guzzling my usual daily caffeine dosage, so this wierdness can only be explained by one thing!  I'm dreaming!  Wait... AGAIN?  Gay....

(Yuffie looks around)

Yuffie:  And this is the stupidest dream yet.  At least I could vaguely understand the other ones.  Well, might as well look around.

(After fighting through several missingno-like enemies that had names like "bug", "glitch", and "designer's sketch", Yuffie comes across a person.  A person who... is basically made up of polygons and doesn't have any skin yet.

Yuffie:  Hiya!

Incomplete Generic Character:  *some sort of greeting*

Yuffie:  What?

IGC:  I said *some sort of greeting*

Yuffie:  OH!  You said some sort of greeting!  Okay!  Can you tell me where I am?

IGC:  *says location of town*

Yuffie:  What?

IGC:  ERROR!  ERROR!  Response hasn't been programmed in yet!

(The IGC explodes)

Yuffie:  Sheesh.  What a jerk.

(Yuffie continues past several other IGCs that didn't have anything to say and fights through several more dohickies until color starts appearing around her and a world starts getting fleshed out)

Yuffie:  Ah ha!  Now we're getting somewhere!

(Several buildings form around Yuffie and she heads for the one that looks like Midgar High and enters it.  Yuffie ends up in the courtyard)

Yuffie:  Hello?  Anyone home?

(Someone is across the courtyard looking at Drexler's statue)

Yuffie:  That's... That's me looking at that statue!  What the heck?

(Yuffie walks closer)

Yuffie:  Oh no, wait.  She's wearing yellow and isn't dressed like me.  But she still looks like me.  Maybe it's that stupid imposter.

(Yuffie is halfway across the courtyard)

Yuffie:  No wait, she has a different hairstyle from me, too.  She has a flat hairstyle, kinda like Saki's and Minerva's.

(Yuffie walks up to the person)

Yuffie:  Wow, now that I can get a closer look at her, she doesn't look like me at all!  But I could've sworn that...

(The girl turns around)

F.F.FemaleType#3:  Hi there!

Yuffie:  Um... hiya.

Girl:  Are you a new student here?  Wow, no offense, but you look really wierd.  I didn't think that it was possible for someone to have such big eyes in comparison to their head.

Yuffie:  What are you talking about?!?  My eyes are no more abnormal than everyone else's!  Well, except for Tifa's, perhaps.  She has the biggest eyes.

Girl:  Haha, you're funny.  You remind me of... me!  So, what's your name?

Yuffie:  I'm Yuffie!  Materia hunter extraordinaire!  You heard of me, right?

Girl:  Was I supposed to have?

Yuffie:  DAMMIT!  No one ever cares about me.  They only care about Cloud or Tifa or Aeris or even Vincent for some stupid reason even though he really didn't do anything really significant.

Girl:  Was I supposed to have heard about a Cloud, Tifa, Aeris, or Vincent, too?

Yuffie:  You never heard of Avalanche?

Girl:  Nope.

Yuffie:  The meteor incident?  Sephiroth?

Girl:  Nope.  Never.  I didn't pay too much attention in History class but I'm sure I didn't miss anything like what you're talking about.

Yuffie:  They don't even teach about us in history class?  What date is this?

(The girl hands Yuffie a calendar and Yuffie looks at it)

Yuffie:  Huh?  It's only one year since the present.  I don't think everyone would have forgotten about us and how we saved the planet.

Girl:  Forgot about how you saved the planet?  As far as we are concerned, you never existed.

Yuffie:  What?

(The girl dissappears)

Yuffie:  HEY!

(Yuffie kneels down)

Yuffie:  What's going on?  I don't understand....

(Yuffie gets up and looks at Drexler's statue.  Only it isn't a statue anymore.  It's the real thing)

Yuffie:  Um.... Heeeeelloooooo?

(Everything becomes dark again.  The background slowly fills with a bunch of wavy morphing shapes making it look like an acid trip)

Drexler:  Enter a world of adventure and excitement.  A world of death and destruction.  A world where everything exists, yet doesn't exist at the same time and will eventually dissappear forever.  I see a future which is both bright and dim and yet not a future at all.  But I can not see the future of one who's future was questionable from the start.  Who may or may not have ever served a purpose in developing the future.  What will become of everything now that you have come along and caused this great uncertainty?  I can not allow you to get in the way of the new future I am trying to create.  Your future ends here!

Yuffie:  The fuck?
 

       Drexler jumped out of his statue pose and sweeped his pole at Yuffie in a sideway wave but she quickly jumped over it.  Yuffie retaliated while still in the air by darting her shurikan down at him.  Drexler's eyes flashed and Yuffie was hit with a blind spell.  Yuffie used some eyedrops on herself just as Drexler hit her with a paralyze spell.  Unable to attack, Yuffie ran around dodging Drexler's swings and the paralysis wore off just as Drexler hit her with a confusion spell.  Yuffie stumbled around in a daze until Drexler stabbed her with his pole.

Yuffie:  Wait, I'd just like to interupt and go on record as saying that this is the GAYEST battle I've ever fought in my entire damn life!

    Although she was extremely pissed off, Yuffie couldn't use her limit breaks effectively because Drexler mostly fought her with indirect attacks.  After being repeatedly slammed with sleep, confusion, blind, paralysis, life drain, and magic drain spells, Yuffie finally managed to unleash a Doom to the Living combo on him.  Drexler retaliated by turning on his "Defense Up" ability then continued to blast Yuffie with his wide variety of status ailment spells until he finally ran out of MP and couldn't drain anymore from Yuffie because he already drained away all her MP.  Yuffie finally sliced his stupid pole in two with her Murasame then proceeded to madly slash at Drexler.  Even his enhanced defense didn't protect him for long so Drexler quickly jumped away from Yuffie.

Drexler:  I didn't predict that you would be so persistant.  It will be interesting to see what the future holds.

(Drexler dissappears)

Yuffie:  Stupid asshole.  And thus ends gay dream number three.  This one was the worst.  Hmph.
 
 
 

(The darkness gradually becomes light again and Yuffie finds herself staring at Drexler's broken statue.  She's back in the courtyard)

Nathan:  Huh?

(Everyone opens their eyes and look around.  The entire school has been vaporized but all the students are still intact)

(All of the students begin talking to each other)

Nathan:  Hooray!  We all survived!  Oh sure, a lot of you guys died and we killed a bunch needlessly and the entire school was vaporized but we're still here so everything is alright!

(Everyone looks at Nathan)

Nathan:  ........

(Everyone proceeds to talk about what happened)

Nathan:  Psi yai yai....

Jared:  .........

Yuffie:  What a disaster that was.

Student:  Man, the entire school was destroyed.  This sucks!

Other Student:  No, what sucks is that for most of our summer we were trapped in that school.

Another Student:  Yea, and now the school year has started right when we finally got out.

Student:  And the school is destroyed so all classes are cancelled now.

(All the students look at each other)

Students:  WOOHOO!

(All the students throw cans in the air)

Yuffie:  Where do they keep getting those cans?

Jared:  It's finally over.  But now what?  What can I do now?

(Fresca... er, Pepsi, appears)

Pepsi:  It's not over yet, Jared.  You might be done here, but this was only your first quest.  You still have to meet up with Genmari or Tenko and try to learn the truth.

Jared:  ..........

Pepsi:  Now that you're no longer trapped within Midgar High, it'll be up to you where to go from now on.

Jared:  I'll find him.  I have to find out what's going on.  I won't let Anne's death be in vain.

(Jared begins walking off in the distance as a bunch of students look at him)

Student:  Hey Jared, wait for us!  We don't have any school either, so we can help!

(All the students run after Jared)

Yuffie:  Did I screw everything up by allowing them to get the gems earlier with my superior leadership?

Nathan:  Possibly, but you also helped Jared stop that Deus-X thing so you helped to keep everyone from getting vaporized.  I'm pretty sure that mysterious barrier wouldn't have been enough to save everyone if we didn't beat up that weapon so badly.

Yuffie:  I guess.  But I still can't help but fell a little sorry for Jared.

(Tina walks up to Yuffie)

Tina:  You shouldn't go where you don't belong.  I'm sorry you had to go through all that, but next time you should think before joining in an adventure that you have no part in.

Yuffie:  Hey, that's how I got together with Cloud!  And I'm glad I did!

Tina:  That doesn't count.  You really did belong with him.  Well, that is to say, we allowed you to have a chance to join him.

Yuffie:  Huh?  Say what?

Tina:  Nevermind.  Well, it's your choice.

Yuffie:  Hey...

(Yuffie looks at Tina's green hair)

Tina:  Is something wrong?

Yuffie:  Er, no, it's nothing.

Tina:  Are you having doubts about what we asked you to do?

Yuffie:  Will you kill me if I said "yes?"

Tina:  Don't worry.  Like I said, we already are prepared for the Light Warriors.  You won't have to participate if you don't want to.

Yuffie:  Um....

Tina:  Although it would be appreciated.  Actually, the more this goes on, the more I'm glad that I was picked to monitor you.  It's been much more interesting than I anticipated.

Yuffie:  What?!?  You're monitoring me?

Tina:  Only because we care about your well-being, of course!  Yuffie, you might not believe me when I say this, but I think you can trust me.  Here.  I'll give you something just to prove it.  Fresca, go fetch a chime for me.

Pepsi:  Okay.  HEY!  I'm not Fresca!

Tina:  You aren't?

Pepsi:  Um... but I know her!  I'll go get her.

(Pepsi dissappears.  Fresca reappears wearing her standard blue hat and dress)

Fresca:  Here I am!  And here's your chime.

(Fresca gives Yuffie a chime)

(Yuffie and Tina are looking at Fresca)

Fresca:  What?  WHAT?  I'm not still wearing Pepsi's hat or dress, am I?

Yuffie:  Um, nope.

Fresca:  Then stop staring at me like something is wrong!  Sheesh.

(Fresca dissappears)

Tina:  Stupid Da-Chao and his little creation.  Anyway, you can use that to come visit the realm of the gods if you ever have to.  When the time comes, you'll know how to use it.  We'll think of a way to stop these aliens from another planet, too.  Jared and Tenko are reliable heros.  They'll probably be able to handle that.  You can just concentrate on getting back to Wutai now if you want.

Yuffie:  Er... thanks.

Tina:  Goodbye for now.

(Tina dissappears)

Nathan:  Ick.  What do we do, now?

Yuffie:  I just want to go home...