(Today is just another happening day at club Wutai....)
(Lord Godo is practicing against a wooden dummy as Gorky watches him)
Gorky: Watch out, Lord Godo! If you keep going into full training sessions like this without
your warmups, you'll get cramps!
Godo: I won't get cramps!
Gorky: Okay, then.
Godo: Hey, Gorky! Watch me perform my potent upward sword slice against this dummy!
(Lord Godo performs his potent upwards sword slice and cleaves the dummy in two)
Gorky: Hey, that's pretty good! What will you call that move?
Godo: How about I name it after a code of honor? Bushido Blade, perhaps...
Gorky: Great!
Godo: Let's try it!
Gorky: Go for it!
Godo: BUSHIDO BLADE POWER!!!
(Lord Godo performs his potent upwards sword slice and cleaves another dummy in two)
Godo: I AM A GOD!
Gorky: O!
Godo: Whatever. You know, Gorky, someday I will enter a real Bushido Blade tournament.
(Chekhov and Staniv walk in)
Chekhov: Did someone mention Bushido Blade?
Staniv: Hey, Lord Godo, you'd better watch it because I heard that in those tournaments
you fought to the death.
Godo: There is no need to worry, Staniv, for I am LORD GODO, THE GREAT
BUSHIDO MANIAC
by James Chang
nikken@erols.com
Godo: No one will be able to defeat me!!!
Staniv: And what if someone does?
Chekhov: Then our fearless leader will be dead, now won't he?
Godo: Shaddup. I am almighty!
Staniv: Yeah, right. Sure.
Godo: You have angered Lord Godo, the great BUSHIDO MANIAC!
Staniv: Keep dreaming.
Godo: I think I will. Good night.
(Lord Godo leaves to take his nap)
Gorky: You know, what if Lord Godo does get killed?
Chekhov: We'll get a new leader! And it'll be me!
Staniv: WHATEVER! It's got to be me! I'm the strongest!
Gorky: I'm the most experienced!
Chekhov: Now that I think about it, if Lord Godo does die...
Staniv: His daughter will take over....
Gorky: What? Miss Yuffie is too young!
Chekhov: Yuffie... ugh! She'd probably do something stupid, like... make us steal Cloud's
materia or something.
(Yuffie and Shake are spying)
Shake: I can't hear them! What are they talking about?
Yuffie: I don't know. Something about my dad dying and me becoming the new leader.
Shake: Really?! That's stupid! You can't lead worth beans!
Yuffie: SHADDUP!
Shake: What would you do, anyway?
Yuffie: Wow...
(Yuffie dreams about her being the Wutai leader)
Yuffie: Go! GO!!! HA HA HA!!! TAKE IT ALL!
Wutaians: YEAH! WE WILL! WE WILL TAKE ALL OF IT!!!
Yuffie: HA HA HA!!! ALL OF CLOUD'S MATERIA IS MINE!
Shake: Hello?! Wake up!
(Shake smacks Yuffie on the head)
Yuffie: Ow! Oops. Sorry. But you know, it's too bad. I kind of liked dad.
(Lord Godo walks by)
Godo: Hey, Yuffie, did you see my toothbrush?
Yuffie: Huh? Oh, sure, dad. I left it on the third floor.
Godo: Thanks.
(Godo leaves)
Yuffie: Anyway, now that I'm leader, things are going to be different around here!
Mailman: Package for Cloud?
Shake: Cloud? Cloud doesn't live here...
(Yuffie covers Shake's mouth)
Yuffie: Shut up, punk! What if it's materia?
(Yuffie takes the package)
Yuffie: Drat! It's just a bunch of stupid tickets!
(Godo walks over)
Godo: WOW! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
(Godo takes the tickets)
Godo: It's an invitation to a Bushido Blade tournament!
Gorky: Hooray! Now your dream can come true!
(Godo and Gorky leave)
Yuffie: Hmm...
(Yuffie reads the letter)
Dear Cloud,
You and your big-ass sword are invited to be a secret character in our next Bushido Blade
game. Head to the Bushido Blade planet as soon as possible.
Some Big Squaresoft Executive
Yuffie: Dammit. Why does Cloud always get to be the secret character?
Shake: Do you think we should tell your dad?
Yuffie: Why should we? I mean, he's dead. No point in telling a dead person.
Shake: ......
(The next day)
Godo: Are we all packed to go to the Bushido Blade Planet?
Chekhov: I got the luggage!
Staniv: I got the tickets!
Shake: I got the money!
Gorky: I got the food!
Yuffie: I got Cloud's materia!
Godo: Excellent! And I got my sword, Good Old Mother $&#*er.
Gorky: Ah, Good Old Mother $&#*er. She's been Godo's sword for as long as I can remember...
Yuffie: Something is wrong with that sword's name....
Godo: Well, let's get going! We need to get a rocket, so let's go to Rocket Town!
(The Pagoda Five... er, six if you include Yuffie... head to Rocket Town)
Godo: We're here to get a space ship!
Cid: What the hell? You can't just barge in here and steal my rocket!
Yuffie: Sure we can!
Cid: Yuffie, what the hell is going on?
Yuffie: Dad's going to a Bushido Blade Tournament.
Cid: What the %$&()@$*& is that?!
Godo: You'd better stop cussing in front of my daughter, or else I'll be forced to use
Good Old Mother $&#*er on you!
Cid: Eh? Good Old Mother $&#*er?
Godo: That's it! You've cursed too much!
Cid: Eh?
Godo: BUSHIDO BLADE POWER!!!
(Lord Godo performs his potent upwards sword slice on Cid)
Cid: OUCH! The hell you do that for?
Godo: Again!
Cid: Huh?
Godo: BUSHI...
Yuffie: DAD! We don't have time for this!
Gorky: Come on. Let's go.
(Yuffie's crazy family heads for the rocket)
Palmer: Hey hey!
Godo: Outta the way!
(Godo shoves Palmer aside)
(They enter the rocket)
Yuffie: Wow! Rocket!
Chekhov: We get to go into space!
Staniv: Cool!
Gorky: Lord Godo, I've set the tracker to seek out any planet that's holding a tournament!
Godo: Great! Let's rock!
Yuffie: 3... 2... 1... Lift off!
Cloud: Hey! Come back! You still have my materia!
Yuffie: Sucker!
(The rocket blasts away)
Cloud: Dammit!
(The rocket floats through space)
WUTAIANS IN SPACE
by James Chang
nikken@erols.com
Narrator: We join our heroes as they rocket through space searching for another adventure.
Shake: What the hell? Didn't this fan fic already have a name?
Godo: Where the hell is my toothbrush?
Shake: .....
THE QUEST TO FIND LORD GODO'S TOOTHBRUSH
by James Chang
nikken@erols.com
Shake: Damn, that's getting annoying! And who the hell is James Chang?
(The rocket lands on Tobal Number One)
Godo: Hello?
(Godo walks onto the planet and is greeted by.... Mufu!)
Mufu: Mu?
Godo: Is this where they are holding the Bushido Blade Tournament?
Mufu: Mu mu mu?
Godo: Well? Is it?
Yuffie: Um, dad? I don't think he speaks English.
Godo (in Japanese): Is this where they are holding the Bushido Blade Tournament?
Mufu: Muh?
Godo: WELL?!
Mufu: Mu muh mu muh muh?
Godo: BUSHIDO BLADE POWER!!!
(Lord Godo performs his potent upwards sword slice on Mufu)
Mufu: Mu mu mu mu mu!
(Mufu starts doing his crazy crab kicks on Lord Godo)
Mufu: Muh! (kick) Muh! (kick) Muh! (kick)
Godo: (smack) OUCH! (smack) OUCH! (smack) OUCH!
Can someone please tell me what the hell he is doing?
Yuffie: I think he's mad at you, dad.
(Emperor Udan, a large human sized bunny rabbit, walks over)
Udan (in Japanese since I don't think he speaks English): Hello!
Godo: Finally! Someone I understand!
Udan: Welcome to Tobal Number One! The home of the great tournament, Tobal No. 1!
Gorky: Tournament? We're here!!!
Godo: Finally!
Udan: Would you like to sign up?
Godo: Yes!!!
Chekhov: Hey, what's the prize for first place, anyway?
Udan: A million dollars worth of molmoran!
Yuffie: I don't know what the hell dollars are, but it sounds cool!
(Later, at the tournament)
Yuffie: Wow....
(Yuffie stares at the shiny molmoron, and sneaks a whole bunch of it into her pouch)
Godo: I am ready for my first match!
Gorky: Good luck, Lord Godo!
(Lord Godo polishes his sword)
Godo: Good Old Mother $&#*er, don't fail me now!
(Lord Godo enters the ring to confront... Nork! Udan's lovable pig/demonlike pet.)
Godo: Let's begin, good sir!
Nork: !#()*&$()@*#&!() (translation: Who the hell do you think you are?)
Udan: Begin!
Godo: Come on, you big lumox!
Nork: $&)(@@*#&)!@#!_#@? (translation: What did you just call me?)
Godo: Man! Why can't I fight someone who speaks my language?
Nork: #$&(@)(#*$&!). (translation: Your fly is open.)
Godo: Well? Come on!
Nork: #$&(*)@#$. (translation: I really think you should zip it up. There are ladies present.)
Godo: FINE! I'll hit you first!
Nork: #$(@)#&? (translation: Eh?)
Staniv: Hey, Chekhov?
Chekhov: Yeah?
Staniv: I've been doing some research. It would appear that Tobal No. 1 is NOT a Bushido
Blade tournament. It's a martial arts tournament. Weapons are illegal in this tourney.
Chekhov: Really?
Godo: BUSHIDO BLADE POWER!!!
(Lord Godo performs his potent upwards sword slice on Nork)
Nork: #&(*@)#$*&!)(#*@!!! (translation: To the moon!!!)
(Nork uses his powerful uppercut and sends Lord Godo flying to the moon)
Chekhov: Oh well.
Staniv: We'd better go fetch him. Come on, Yuffie.
Yuffie: Huh?
(Yuffie, Staniv, Chekhov, Shake, and Gorky enter the rocket and blast away)
Chuji: Okay! I won the tournament! Now where's my molmaron?
Udan: Eh? Where the hell did it all go?
Yuffie: (Whistling)
(The rocket lands on the moon)
(Lord Godo wakes up on the moon)
Godo: Ugh, where am I?
Bahamut: Welcome to the moon. My name is Lord Bahamut.
Godo: BUSHIDO BLADE POWER!
(Lord Godo performs his potent upwards sword slice on Bahamut)
(Yuffie yanks Godo back into the rocket before Bahamut can roast him)
Yuffie: DAD!!! Why the hell did you do that?!
Godo: Well, I figured that I would have done that anyway, so...
Yuffie: .......
(The rocket finally lands on the Bushido Blade Planet)
Godo: We're here!
Gorky: Hooray! Now you can join the Bushido Blade tournament!
(Lord Godo joins the Bushido Blade Tournament)
(The day before his first match......)
Godo: Well, this is it! Wish me luck!
Yuffie: Good luck, dad!
Staniv: Hey, Lord Godo, be careful. It's a fight to the death.
Gorky: Yeah. We don't want you getting killed or anything like that...
Chekhov: Ick. Then YUFFIE will be the new leader.
Shake: Ugh!
Yuffie: Hey!
Gorky: Good luck, Lord Godo.
(Lord Godo enters the field of honor and looks at his opponent)
Godo: (This is it. The moment of truth.)
*insert your favorite Bushido Blade character here*: (This is it. This is for my clan!)
Godo: Come on, good sir!
*insert your favorite Bushido Blade character here*: Let's go!
Godo: BUSHIDO BLADE CRAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Lord Godo passes out because he didn't do his warm ups)
*insert your favorite Bushido Blade character here*: Bushido Blade cramp? That's a new one.
Later...
(Lord Godo wakes up back in Shinobi Wutai Pagoda)
Godo: OUCH! Lousy stupid %$@)(#$(*!@)@#!
Gorky: Well, I guess that's it. That was fun.
Shake: Sheesh. Talk about a worthless trip.
Chekhov: We got nothing accomplished.
Yuffie: Gee, I dunno. I got Cloud's materia!
(Cloud walks over, snatches back his materia, and leaves)
Yuffie: Dagnabbit!
Shake: Well, serves ya right, idiot!
Chekhov: Baby.
Yuffie: ....But you know, I did learn something on this trip.
Chekhov and Shake: Really? What?
Yuffie: BUSHIDO BLADE POWER!
(Miss Yuffie performs her potent upwards sword slice on Shake and Chekhov)
Gorky: Well, Lord Godo, how does it feel to be the first man to lose in a fight-to-the-death
match and live?
Godo: Actually, Gorky, I feel great! I feel that I really accomplished something!
Staniv: Whatever the hell that is.
Godo: But, you know, next year, I'm taking Good Old Mother $&#*er out of the closet, and I'm
going to do my warm ups, and I'm going back to that tournament, and I'm going to kick ass!
Gorky: Good for you!
(Yuffie can be seen in the background running away from Chekhov and Shake)
The End
(
geocities.com/timessquare/battlefield) (
geocities.com/timessquare)