Hey Jeanie here, what’s up? Well this isn’t exactly a daily journal it’s just a place to write some stupid idea junk, speaking of Titanic, was anybody actually speaking of Titanic? Oh well, so as I was saying, you know if Titanic was sinking in this day and age we’d have millions of choppers on the scene and the whole navy force, oh and don’t forget the subs, I bet like almost all those people would be saved, uhh huh, but you know now there is no such thing as the captain goes down with the ship, now days the captain jumps in the boat first and then laughs hysterically at his sinking ship, I am not kidding here where do you think the NA NA NA NA NA saying came from, it actually means SINK YOU STUPID SHIP SINK! SINK FASTER! Well you wanna know something really stupid, fools try every day to invent something clever, well get a load of this, a remote control toilet, you can now go to the bathroom, take a piss, go back to the couch and automatically flush the water, I hear this worthless information all the time, or get this a poisonous fork, yeah new wave of murder, uhh huh, give your enemy one of these and have him poison himself while eating a stake, but be sure not to bring that fork back home, yeah I see it now " hey honey I see you bought me a new fork, mhh tast..Ahhhh grgh" where the hell do people come up with these things? Or check this out A condom for cats! Some real sicko must’ve thought of this huh, I swear these things are real, a Christmas present for horny cats . . . . ha ha ha! Well on to more practical gifts, get this, the following was stated in my gift mag. It’s a list for perfect presents for people in your family, The diabetic fat grandma or aunt, an ice cram shaped granola bar, yeah that’ll get her off those sweets, she tries to eat it and after a few bites no more ice cream craves. . .ever, this mag. rocks big time, or another one, what do you buy for your long lost cousin whom you saw naked in the shower and that looks like a distressing cross between a female Elvis and Santa Clause? Give up? Well the gift guide says the perfect gift is a lovely purple colored bra and mistle toe, don’t ask I’m still trying to get this myself. Well to get off this nasty subject, the other day I heard the following somewhere, somehow: "I want a bottle of wine and not worry about what kind of nose it has" now it may be just me but I’m not sure wine is supposed to have a nose, right? OK now, wanna hear a stupid story, well my friend’s teacher’s brother’s friend....ehh well I heard it from someone, anyway, this girl had a cat and she loved her cat very much and her neighbor had a white cute rabbit and the neighbor kept yelling at the girl so that she would keep her cat away from the rabbit since the rabbit was in a cage on the balcony and the cat climbed over the railing often, so one day the girl comes home and finds her cat with the rabbit in it’s teeth, the rabbit is messy and dirty, the girl fears her cat will get in trouble so she takes the dead bunny, washes it and grooms it and sneaks it back in the cage so the neighbor would think the bunny died of natural causes. The next day the girls mother comes over and tells her that she saw the neighbor the other day and she said the darnest thing, her rabbit died, she buried it and the next day it was back in the cage. Get it. OK well I got some more idiotic gifts and inventions from me Gift Guide which I received yesterday, first the gifts, oh ho ho you gotta hear this one! The perfecto present for your lazy, broke friend that speaks no English, a dictionary and the unemployed columns. OK well I thought that was funny. Anyway lets flip to the top ten stupidest gifts, and at #10 we have a guy who bought his newborn child a doggie chew toy for Christmas, #9 a horny husband bought his wife a porno tape for Christmas and gave it to her in front of her parents. #8 candles!! Everyone believes this to be the perfect gift IT’S NOT we are sick of those damn candles! Someone always buys you a candle! #7 food, ever had your family come over for Christmas and bring ten platters of Jell-O and fruit cake, and then you fake a big smile while thinking hello where’s the dough granny, I want green money not green Jell-O!! #6 Jenny Craig certificate, what the hell is this? who gives these things out, yeah get this hi sis, I think you’re fat and need this, by the way Merry Christmas! #5 Gift catalogs, firstly never give this unless you wanna look really cheap, plus if you give one to a kid you’re never gonna hear the end of MOMMY I WANT THIS! #4 Strippers, prostitutes, call girls or anything of that sort, there have been times when someone’s wife or husband storms in, very often #3 weapons, for one reason, you give your girl a gun and your ex a gold chain and chances are the only way you leave the party is in an ambulance, anyway who invites their ex to a party? #2 Girls try not to surprise your guys with the fact that you’re knocked up on Christmas, his first reaction will be Oh Shit, and then Oh Shit and then another Oh Shit, speaking of that saying that is the most popular thing to say when in trouble, mmh hum, ever hear Oh Shit just before you see a car slam into a pole, or those jumpers in the air OOOOOOhh SSHIIIIIIIIIIIIT. Well now to the number one stupidest present, #1 A ball! Ha ha yep, what kind of a retard gives a squishy ball, I would understand an 8 ball but A SQUISHY BALL!!! What a moron! Who we will not mention, ha ha ha. Well I was just in the VOTE section and was playing around with spell check, checking the VOTE’S spelling and allot of names such as Lestat aren’t there in the comp’s dictionary so they put up similar sounding words and I noticed how ridicules and at all not linked to the name they were, let me give you some examples, the spell check thought Zelda was a salad! That Devora actually meant devour well about that it might, I’m not so sure, lol, the game Tenchu, they believed to be a tent, also that Marilandi meant Maryland, that Catzy meant Catty and Eric Draven’s last name was driven, out of his mind that is, kinda funny if you think of it. Well what else to tell, hum? Natty figured out of body travel, but for some reason uses the name Ames, kinda cool, she knows Eric in that state and some other interesting personas, out of body travel is rather easy, you think of an Earth place you wanna be and when you go to sleep you go there in spiritual form instead of going to Dream World, even a retard like Nay-Nay should get it in a few tries, problem is only certain special individuals can see you (ex: Eric) on the plus side, you can’t be hurt, you can touch objects at will and only the coolest people see you saving you the trouble with morons walking the streets. I can do it too but I’d rather be in my body while exploring. Anyone can be in this ghost state as I see, all you gotta do is when going to sleep, in the dark, have something calming yet distractive (ex: sleep with the radio on) and think of yourself exploring the city, as you fall asleep you’re imagination will turn into reality without you even noticing, and it’ll work every time, I promise. OK now let’s get off this mumbo jumbo useless stuff to some, Note to Nay-Nay Eric Draven passes your house on his bike almost every night from about eleven at night to one in the morning, if you’re curious check it out I ain’t lying, and when you see a motorcycle with a guy with long black hair and black coat on it hear my voice in your head HA, HA, TOLD YOU SO! I only want to play.. describes me perfectly huh? I just thought of something, If you say Renee Devora a Zelda and spell check that it would say Renee Devoured a salad. . . . . . corny joke huh? Back to the dream junk, you know, you may live you’re entire life as a human and never see anything paranormal, but do that out of body trick once and I guarantee two things, first the paranormal will swap you spirit like flies, a person may walk at midnight past a dark alley and never see a thing, unless of course you know how and where to look, you go out of body and you see Spawn round the next corner, and then next thing you know you two are having drinks in the cafe discussing hell, . . . ha, ha, ha. Ask Natty she went out of body four times and is now close friends with Eric, she met him accidentally if you wanna know, the first time she went out she went by Nay-Nay’s window to call to her, of course Nay-Nay didn’t hear her in the ghost state as I call it, actually we’d be lucky if Nay-Nay heard a herd of elephants outside her window let alone, at that point Draven passed by and as luck shall have it got a flat tire, you can guess the rest pretty much. So let’s change the subject now to FURBIES! Cute little fuzzy things that annoy the hell out of your friends, I want a Furbie. Hey have you heard Catzy ended up #10 on the fav. heroes ten list that comes out every two months on the most fav. heroes, poor girl, being ten is so low, it’s better not to be on it at all at least then you can say they forgot you or that you hate being on lists so you threatened the columnists, but at ten everyone knows people think you’re the worst, but the other contenders were though, we got Ariel Chyld at #9 of course she beat out Catzy, she summons demons out of your nightmares that’s cooler then being the slayer, at #8 is Lara, well with her third game and the upcoming movie her fame is sky rocketing, If Catz had a game and movie, she’d have a chance, but then again the beauty part, anyway at #7 is Nikki and I have no clue as to why she beat out Catzy, probably because she’s known as a blond Lara Croft? At #6 is Shannon and I think that’s fair, hell with all that she’s been through she deserves to kick Catzy’s but. #5 is Lestat and I see why he’s #5 he’s a blond, gorgeous vampire, who wrote about five books, half the single women in the world are voting for him. At #4 is Kelly and with her recent change I’m not surprised, she’s evil and a babe with an armor from hell, when you put it that way, most the psychopathic New York would worship her. . . . . and me. #3 is Sara Pezzini, well what can I say?, she’s prettier then Catz, no offense, and the only wielder of the witchblade which means she’s the strongest female psyche of this era, that’s why the witchblade choose her, I read that. . . .YES I READ! What’d you think I was some blond bimbo! Don’t answer that. The #2 is Eric Draven, hey he’s cute, and the crow, plus the reason he’s voted for most is that he’s impossible to get, he has a soul mate Shelly, and as you know you want most what you can’t get, heck I voted for him! And at #1 we have Johnny, oooh well the fact that Catzy’s sisters, Josie’s guy dumped Josie over Johnny, which proves he finds her more beautiful and fascinating than Josie and since Catzy is Josie’s twin and the guy is Lestat, that brings Catz way down, plus the India thing raved with the public, people see a cute girl in India and suddenly. But at least Catzy is not on the most pathetic list like Josie is. . . . . OOPS, please don’t tell her, I sorta promised I wouldn’t tell her story to the columnist, but I couldn’t resist, I’m weak!!!!!! And so they printed her story about Johnny and Lestat and the such, the day before Vote day and Josie is #1 of the five most pathetic, along with batman, spiderman and the fantastic four. I’ve been hiding this from her, since I was the only to know the Lestat thing she’ll know I told the press and because of me she became the most pathetic hero, so not a peep. She’ll strangle me and I will never be able to talk and annoy anyone ever again! Did you know that Johnny knows Sara Pezzini? I gotta admit I did not know that, looks like they were paired up about a year ago and know about each others weapons ( whitchblade, hell cat ). Well what else is new? Hmm? Let me think, oh yeah Nat got the temporary internet, and is getting real one once her mom gets a credit card, but I DON’T WANNA WAIT THAT LONG! Sob, sob, sob. God is this see people that are not there week, Now Renee is seeing things! Some guy or something. I told her about Eric passing by her house, hope she looks out then I can yell in her face TOLD YA SO! Ohy keep on dreaming Jeanie, she’ll just say she knew all along. Wanna hear some more useless junk?!? Hear this list if someone gets you the following item and what it means in simple words. Lingerie or any under clothes means after the guests leave let’s go upstairs. Food of any kind means you’re cuter then me, eat this and choke. Well enough of that, look the other day I heard a commercial to stop cutting down trees it said If trees could scream like people would we cut them down? And I thought, well we might, if they screamed all the time for no good reason. Right? I am a sicko aren’t I? Ha ha. Well I was thinking. . . . . . No let’s not get the camera, this is NOT a Kodak moment! Well anyway, should I make a history section? No not school, I mean JEANIE history section. It’s like about heroes and heroines from the past, you know the kinda gals you don’t learn about in Social Studies cause if you did you’d ace the tests, of course not if you don’t show up for school! I mean adventures of people like Marilandi and Drako, the pirate ship captain Carmen Estegartha, the daughter of Robin Hood, and the girls who lived through the witch trials, you know that crap, the people who died but the adventures lived on, and none of that corny crap, yes I really like the word crap! crap! Crap! So what do you say? Vote below by putting a star( * ) near yes or no and between the two lines type how, I mean like a diary or maybe a continuos story or some other crap you can think of, ha ha: