My latest gripe is one that kinda “gets me.” What I’m gonna carry on about today…is personal responsibility – you know – culpability for one’s own actions.

It is a fact of life that we are governed by the laws of cause and effect. Everything we do affects change on something or someone else. Whatever we say; whatever we write; and certainly whatever we do…well all of those things cause change, and all of the things we’re prompted to say and write and do are generally caused by some other external force. For example, I’m writing this essay because I’m pissed off. I wouldn’t have written this essay unless I had been affected enough by the behavior of others (and myself) into my current state of anger over the following issue. Cause and effect is inescapable. At some point, we – as the superior and intelligent beings that we are – must take responsibility for our own actions. What we cause belongs to us…and the things that affect us do not.

It is a third phenomenon that I want to discuss here, and that’s “choice.” In between cause and effect, there is always choice. How we choose to respond to that which affects us is the part that’s really special. Humanity has the power of choice – “free will,” if you prefer. It is almost unique to our species: the ability to choose with intelligence and forethought. Philosophy, religion, and most of the sciences are a prime example. No other species on this planet has the capabilities that we have in choosing. We can analyze and ponder and really put all of our intelligence into every decision we make. While that is an awesome ability to have...it, like all other awesome abilities, brings with it a responsibility for the choice that we finally make.

Our society has embraced the right to individual choice…but trashed the responsibility to own up to that choice later on (with me so far? I’m just getting started here). I find this trend weak, lazy, and sad. Here’s my analogy…and it’s a really apt one:

When, for example, a child gets into some sort of trouble, the child will be sent to counseling. The counselor will help the child blame his or her parents for the trouble. The parents will blame the schools or television. The schools and the media will blame society. Society, in turn will pity the child and support him or her by throwing tax money into “programs,” that will save the child. In the meantime, that child grows up in the world having learned that he is not responsible for any wrongs that he commits. It is always someone else’s fault.

Right and wrong isn’t a gray area. It’s still just as black and white as it was in the olden days when people weren’t afraid to own up to it. When a husband beats his wife, it is his fault and his fault alone. Maybe he was raised in a home that taught him that behavior, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is responsible for his violent acts. When a woman becomes pregnant at the age of 16 and ends up on welfare for the next 15 years, while continuing to have child after child…it is HER fault. Maybe she grew up in a welfare cycle herself. Maybe that’s the only example she was ever set. That doesn’t change the fact that she made the same bad choices that landed her where she is. On the same token…when her children stay in that welfare cycle as adults…it is their own fault. They had the right and ability to choose another path, but they didn’t. It doesn’t make them bad people…it just makes them people that chose poorly.

Those are large and complex examples that would require much more in-depth discussion, so I’m going to move to another area in order to stay on topic. The smaller, more “ready” examples are the areas in which we can affect the most change on a daily basis, anyway. The above issues are deeply emotional for most people, so that – in itself – makes them more difficult to deal with. The day-to-day choices that have been infected by the “I’m not responsible” virus are the ones that really boil my blood anyway.

When a person, like me, becomes overweight and then stays overweight for the next 10 years, it is her own fault. I was overweight because I led a sedentary lifestyle and overate. I always had the ability to choose a weight loss method and use it. The years that I didn’t take that option are my own fault. The media is not to blame. My parents’ Southern cooking is not to blame. I am to blame. I didn’t know how to cook well. All it took to learn, though, was a trip to the bookstore to purchase a couple of low-fat cookbooks. I love full-fat dairy products like cheese and sour cream. All it took was a little self-discipline to make the switch to moderation and fat-free substitutes. My years of indulging in the “fat” don’t make me a bad person…they just make me a person that chose poorly.

When a person becomes a drug or alcohol “addict,” it is often attributed to genetics or external social “pressures.” Sorry. Doesn’t work. When you drink…you choose that drink. When you act out after drinking…that was your choice. When you used your first illegal drug, that was your choice. You chose to break the law, and you chose to toy with substances that addict people and kill people. Smoking is the same thing. The first cigarette you smoke is your choice. The tobacco companies are not to blame. The drug dealers are not to blame. The bartender is not to blame. You are. Period.

When a person kills someone with a gun…it is his or her own fault. It’s not Smith & Wesson’s fault for manufacturing the gun. It’s not a matter of guns and that whole control issue. It’s not gun control. It’s people control. The person who pulled the trigger is the ONLY entity at fault. When a person kills another person in a car accident, it is his or her own fault. It’s not a manufacturing problem or a safety-feature issue. It’s the fault of the idiot who wasn’t paying attention to where he or she was going. Road rage is another prime example. If your temper gets out of control because someone ahead of you has the audacity to drive the speed limit instead of 5-10 over … then it’s your fault. If you choose to act out because of your temper, it’s your own freaking fault.

America has GOT to stop blaming and start owning.

Our nation is currently embroiled in this election recounting mess. There are issues that I have with all of this that are unrelated to this essay – like the fact that Governor Bush has won the presidential election and the recount but, apparently, we’re just going to keep recounting until it comes out the way Gore wants it – but the issue that really gets me with the problems in Florida is this:

When you walk into a voting booth…READ THE FLIPPING BALLOT. I went to vote in a crowded little DMV office in Wheat Ridge, Colorado in sub-freezing weather. I stood in line for 3 solid hours (got there at 5pm…didn’t leave until shortly after 8pm). By the time I got up to the voting booth I was tired, cranky, and hungry. However, I shook it off, took my little poker thingie, and did what I was supposed to do. I read the ballot (imagine that). I took my time and paid attention to what I was doing. I used a staggered butterfly ballot, but I made darn sure that I poked the correct hole. It wasn’t hard. If you didn’t take your time with your voting…then it’s not the state of Florida’s fault. It isn’t a Republican conspiracy to rob you of your vote. George W. Bush and his advisors did not sit down and design that ballot in an insidious plot to confuse Floridian voters. In fact, those ballots down there were looked at and approved by members of both parties before they were used. If you voted for Pat Buchanan instead of Al Gore because you were in too much of a hurry to pay attention to what you were doing…then it’s your own damn fault – no one else’s.

This whole mess with the election is what started me on this rant, but it’s a deeper core issue that has caused all of this. Americans have become unwilling to accept responsibility – personal culpability – for their choices. They have wallowed in and become consumed by the idea that someone or something else must always be to blame for anything bad, annoying, incorrect, or upsetting that happens in this world. That is just a pile of bovine feces, and we all know it. So…people out there…for the love of goodness…do your part. Do whatever it is that you have to do in this life and, at the end of the day; accept responsibility for your own actions, choices, and beliefs. The world will be a better place if we would just do that…and America is going to die out if we don’t.

From the pen of Aspen Lowood
November 12, 2000
4:00pm, MST









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