How many Gangrel does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None. They have Protean.

How many Malkavians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- One to change it and one to put the old one back in behind him.
- Five. One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under her.
- FISH!

How many Nosferatu does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- How much are you willing to pay to know?
- None. They like it in the dark.

How many Toreador does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- Manual labor? How uncouth!
- Four. One to change it and three to critique the performance.
- Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

How many Ventrue does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Five. Four to call a board meeting to discuss the crisis, and one to call his progeny to do it for him.
- Two. One to assure the primogen that everything possible is being done while the other one screws the bulb into the water faucet.

How many Tremere does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- None. Tremere don't screw lightbulbs, they just screw princes.
- None. They like to keep you in the dark.

How many Assamites does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- How many can you afford?

How many Giovanni does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None. Giovanni prefer dead bulbs.

How many Lasombra does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None. The dark suits them just fine...

How many Salubri does it take to change a light bulb?
- None. Salubri carry their own enlightenment.

How many Setites does it take to screw in a light bulb?
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH! THE LIIIIIIIGHT!

How many Tzimisce does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Only one. Oh, excuse me, could you test the socket with your finger while I go get a new bulb?