****************
The Traditions
1. The Masquerade: Don't let the stupid mortals know what you are... Duuuuhhhhhh...
2. The Domain: This is the Prince stating, "This is MY turf...don't go disrespecting me or your ass is grass!"
3. The Progeny: Don't go thinking you can whip up an army of vamps behind my back. This rule means you gotta ask an Elder's permission first...and I'm keeping count.
4. The Accounting: Until you kick his scrawny ass out, you're responsible for everything your stupid vampire childe does...so try and choose ones that aren't fuck-wits or you'll be sorrrrrrrry!
5. Hospitality: This is the most bullshit Tradition I've ever heard...it mainly tells you to be polite when you're in someone else's home. Before you go making yourself at home, make sure the owner of the joint (the Prince) knows who the hell you are...otherwise, he aint gonna be too happy about you scoffin' down all his cheesy poofs...
6. Destruction: This, in a nutshell, says "You can kick anyone's ass, really mess them up...just DON'T KILL THE BASTARD," or the Princey-poo will call a Blood Hunt on your butt... What's a Blood Hunt? Let's just say you don't want to hear the Prince utter those two words and your name in the same damn sentence...
**************
Anarch: Rebels without a clue, some say, but great fun at parties.
Camarilla, The: Well, if you get rid of the weak-blooded Caitiff, the lupine-loving,idiot Gangrel, the don't worry-be happy Malks, the blackmailing bastards, otherwise known as the Nos, the art-faggish Toreador, the sneaky Tremere bastards, the stuffed-shirt, money-grubbing Ventrue s.o.b.s and all the non-aligned assholes that hang out there, they'd be a pretty cool lot. On the whole, right now...they're a bunch of boring pricks.
Childe: That stupid little vampire wannabe creature that you created that will most likely annoy the hell out of you and get you in deep shit with the Prince, at least one time, before you release his ass...
Diablerie: What happens when a vampire sucks an Elder dry...Who are YOU lookin' at? Get the hell away from me!
Domain: This is my space...that is your space.
Elder: A really super, really powerful Vampire...don't fuck wit us!
Elysium: Some bullshit idea, obviously thought up by the Torries or the Ventrue...I mean, who else would make a place where you can't fight and can't mess with the piece of shit painting that all the art-fags are in awe of? Geezus!
Embrace: When you make a big mistake and sire a childe (see 'fuck-wit', I mean 'childe' above)
Fledgling: Not only is it a fuck-wit childe but it's ignorant as all get out 'cos you just made it (rolls eyes)
Generation: How far you are removed from the Big Cheese, otherwise known as Caine. Good advice not to tell anyone this information...uhhhh, see 'Diablerie,' above.
Gehenna: What all the religious vampires preach about...I can't say I believe in the end of the world for the vampires 'cos, well, I didn't see it mentioned in The Complete Predictions of Nostradamous.
Ghoul: Insta-slave...just add a drop of blood.
Haven: Don't come a'knockin when this coffin's a'rockin!
Inconnu, The: Some hermit-like jerks that think they are better than everyone else...
Jyhad, The: The secret waaaa....oh....yeah....it's a secret.
Kindred: What us vampires call ourselves... unless you are someone who thinks they have the right to use the word, 'Cainite,' just 'cos they think they are special.
Kiss: Once again, something the art-fags musta had a hand in...it's when you bite a mortal, okay? You ain't kissin' the thing...you're eatin' it. Get real!
Lupine: It's big, it's ugly, it's hairy as hell...some call them lupines, some call them werewolves, they call themselves garou...basically, they are some really big fucking monsters...don't mess wit 'em.
Prince: Some asshole that thinks he's older, better, and way more powerful than anyone else in the city...problem is~ he's usually right.
Sabbat, The: Another bunch of vampiric zealots...They take that old saying "blood is thicker than water" thing waaaaay too seriously...not a good idea to mess with them, if you can avoid it.
Sire: The one who made you...mind your p's and q's around her or she'll kick your ass.
*************
Assamites: The assholes that the Venture like to sick on everyone else when we've been bad.
Brujah: Us...'nuff said.
Caitiffs: You've probably got a brother or two roaming about in this little gang...
Daughters of Cacophony: Just watch it when they hit those sharp notes...owwies!
Gangrel: Lupine wannabes...spend all their time in the rainforests with Sting, pissing on....errr pissing about trees... Got no use for 'em.
Giovanni: Incestual mafia slobs who play with dead things...don't go there.
Lasombra: Almost Ventrue-like, in their quest for power, these pricks never grew out of the facination of making shadow animals with their hands.
Malkavians: Insane, kooky little freaks who want to make everyone miserable. Don't trust them for a second...even if he gives you a flower, be ready for it to be one of those ones that shoots water...
Nosferatu: They got the dirt on everyone. Best advice is put up with the ugly bastards and let them think you're their friends.
Ravnos: Hide everything you have of value... these are kinda like Gangrels on Ritalin.
Samedi: Like the Nos, only smellier...these guys can really mess you up, if you get on their bad side...(cough) like they got a good side (cough)
Setites: If you need weapons, ammunitions, etc., these guys will probably have it. Just don't take any candy they offer you...
Toreador: Useless lot of whiney, limp-wristed art-fags...pretty to look at and easy prey if you want to go whallop someone~ won't take long before they call you Big Daddy.
Tremere: They can boil your blood by touching you...keep away from them, lest you become a pile of ashes (see: Odilea's death)
True Brujah: Some poor misguided assholes who think they are what Brujahs are REALLY supposed to be...and they were supposed to be scholars once...(snorts)
Tzimisce: Best description of this clan was made by my good friend, Randy..."They can make you an asshole. No...really...they can twist you around and turn you into one big fucking asshole. You'll spend the rest of your days taking a dump outta your mouth..."
Ventrue: (yawns)...stuffed shirts...money...don't look them in the eyes or...(yawns)...they'll tell you to go to sleep and you w.....(zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
Well folks, she was fun as hell to play but...see...when you make a mouthy character, best be prepared to take the soap in the mouth that's comin. Odelia bit it back in 1998...
RIP, my beloved Brujah bitch...
~Anarch~