A parody of "I'm Too Sexy," (Right Said Fred)
By DoomKitty (Jon-Robert Barger)

I'm too gothic to be happy
too gothic to be happy
happiness is going to leave me
I'm too gothic for my shirt
too gothic for my shirt
so gawthic it hurts
And I'm too gothic to flirt
too gothic to flirt, or wear velvet and a skirt
I'm too gothic for this club
too gothic for this club
no way I'm chicken dancing

I'm a vampire you know what I mean
And I seek out my victims at the coffee shop
Yeah, at the coffee shop
at the coffee shop, yeah
I bare my sharp fangs at the coffee shop
I'm too gothic for the day
too gothic for the day
so gothic you should pay
And I'm too gothic to like bats
too gothic to like bats
What d'ya think of that?

I'm a vampire you know what I mean
And I seek out my victims at the coffee shop
yeah, at the coffee shop
at the coffee shop, yeah
I write my morbid poems at the coffee shop
too gothic for my...
too gothic for my...
too gothic for my...

'Cos I'm a vampire you know what I mean
And I seek out my victims at the coffee shop
yeah, at the coffee shop
yeah, at the coffee shop
Yeah, I write my morbid poems at the coffee shop

I'm too gothic for my black cat
too gothic for my black cat
poor pussy
poor black pussycat
I'm too gothic to be happy
too gothic to be happy
happiness is going to leave me
And I'm too gothic for this song

More Vampiric Humour