["Cake" by the Rainbow Butt Monkeys plays. The scene shows a small crowd in a TV Studio. It has the setting of an infomercial with a ring surrounded by guard rails on the stage. On the other side of the stage are Robert Jones, Tom Rogers and the celebrity host, Diane Warwick. The crowd is clapping politely and on the screen there is a Supreme Wrestling Federation Graphic.]
Diane Warwick: Hello viewers and welcome to Supreme Wrestling. Today my wrestling friends will show you what a regular supreme wrestling federation card will be like and in between matches I'll give you a chance to join the fun, it'll change your life. Now here are my best friend Robert Jones and Tom Rogers.
[Camera pans over to show Robert Jones and Tom Rogers sitting at ringside]
RJ: Hello and welcome to the SWF special inter-fed card. Today famous wrestlers take time out of their busy schedule to see how they match up with the young stars from SWF.
TR: That's right, we get to see if these guys are jokes or can really play ball in that ring. I've seen guys like Phoenix and Bacon in that ring before, but tonight we'll finally get to see Jagged Edge in action.
RJ: Mr. Edge has lots of past credentials, lets not forget that.
TR: I just want to see if our boys can cut it.
RJ: To do that lets go to Joe Hall.
[The camera shows a man standing in the middle of the ring holding a microphone.]
JH: This is the opening match of the... uh... day. It is a ladder match, first one to retrieve the comb wins.
TR: Great, we haven't even started our first match and we've got this moron screwing up.
JH: Introducing first, from San Antonio, Texas. Being led to the ring by Jose Latherio, here is former World Wrestling Federation champion and the master of the superkick.. Shawn Michaels!
["Sexy Boy" plays as Jose Letherio leads the dancing Michaels from backstage. He shakes hands with Robert Jones, gets in the ring and dances around for a while before he is ready. There is a polite clapping from the mostly elderly audience, some of the older women have fainted.]
TR: Stupid fairy and his dancing!
RJ: Please, we don't accept remarks like that here in the SWF.
TR: Well sorry, but I don't want to see that damn it.
RJ: We should thank Mr. Michaels for taking time out of his busy schedule to participate in this match. Shawn is the kind of ladder matches as he has proven in the past, this time he'll have to compete with the powerful, and rival ladies man Phoenix.
TR: I don't think I've ever seen Phoenixes shoulders pinned to the mat in all of his past career. That Michaels can dance all he wants, but once he's hit with the Razzle Dazzle that's it, that's all.
JH: and his opponent. A member of the Underground alliance. From Tennessee, weighing in at 333lbs, here is the master of the Razzle Dazzle.... Phoenix!
["Shitlist" by L7 begins playing as Phoenix walks out from backstage. He looks around at the women in the crowd, he shudders and continues on his way to the ring. He looks at his Shawn Michaels with a glare of confidence, who looks back just as confident. He then climbs into the ring. The attendants carry in the ladder and hand the comb from the ceiling]
TR: The man baby! All the babes want him, but there are none here, so lets just show what he can do in that ring.
[The bell rings
They lock up.
Shawn Michaels nails him with a German suplex.
Shawn Michaels takes him down with a flying elbowdrop.
Shawn Michaels throws Phoenix out of the ring.]
RJ: Phoenix to the concrete right off the bat, he's taking this veteran and former champ lightly and he's paying for it. Shawn Michaels is all over him off the start.
TR: Look out!
[Shawn Michaels jumps onto him with a plancha.
Shawn Michaels nails him with an inverted atomic drop.
Shawn Michaels whips Phoenix into the guardrail.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Shawn Michaels stomps his foot on the mat.]
TR: Not yet, no, I mean this can't happen now!
RJ: Here comes some sweat chin music! Phoenix is dazed and Michaels is gonna put his lights out!
[Shawn Michaels goes for the Superkick, but Phoenix counters it with
a duck-down move.]
RJ: No!
TR: Ah, that puny move wouldn't hurt him anyway.
RJ: Now Phoenix grabs what? A road sign! He's got a road sign!
TR: Well the "boy toy" won't look so pretty real soon.
[Phoenix hits him with the road sign.
The crowd gasps
Phoenix whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail.
Phoenix takes him down with a flying forearm.
Phoenix takes him down with a fist to the midsection.
Shawn Michaels nails him with a bodyslam.]
RJ: Michaels is unaffected by the dirty tactics of a product of the famous superstar filled compound. Now he's on the offensive and they're still on the outside. Why isn't the referee counting?
TR: This is a ladder match Jones, do your homework. They're really taking it to each other and putting the bodies on the line, but I'm beginning to question Michael's involvement in men's wrestling if that move didn't hurt him.
[They're brawling inside the ring area.
Shawn Michaels executes an abdominal stretch.
Shawn Michaels whips Phoenix into the guardrail.
Shawn Michaels whips Phoenix into the guardrail.]
RJ: Phoenix is taking a pounding on the outside!
[Shawn Michaels goes for a bodyslam, but Phoenix blocks it.
Phoenix knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringpost.
Phoenix is handed a keyboard.
Phoenix hits him with the keyboard.
The crowd gasps]
RJ: The keyboard is broken over the boy toy's head! He's down and out! Now Phoenix grabs him by the hair and picks him back up.
[Phoenix executes a kneeling headbutt.
Phoenix throws Shawn Michaels back into the ring.]
RJ: Back to the ring we go after a lot of outside the ring excitement.
TR: Time for Phoenix to put this punk away.
[Phoenix goes for a kneeling headbutt, but Shawn Michaels reverses it.
Shawn Michaels goes for a back suplex, but Phoenix counters it with
a cross-body block.
Phoenix executes an elbowsmash.
Phoenix tries to climb the ladder.
Phoenix is on his way up.]
RJ: Phoenix is going for the comb!
TR: I don't know if this is going to happen so soon, if Michaels has one thing it's stamina.
RJ: He's still going up!
[Phoenix is half-way up.
Shawn Michaels knocks over the ladder with a shove.
There is polite applause from the crowd.]
RJ: The ladder and Phoenix hit the mat! Oh my what impact!
TR: He's back up! He's not hurt! What a monster!
[Phoenix nails him with a fist to the midsection.
Phoenix executes the Razzle Dazzle.]
TR: Razzle Dazzle! That's gotta be it!
RJ: Vicious reverse neckbreaker perfected by this monster! Michaels probably won't get up from that, can he get up from that?
TR: No, no he can't, period, end of story!
[Phoenix tries to climb the ladder.
Phoenix is on his way up.
Phoenix winks at the one non-elderly woman in the crowd]
TR: He's got this rapped up Jones, all rapped up.
RJ: He certainly is taking his time.
[Shawn Michaels pulls him back down.]
RJ: Michaels lunged at him and stopped him! Even the Razzle Dazzle didn't stop this man!
[Phoenix nails him with a flying forearm.
Phoenix tries to climb the ladder.
Phoenix is on his way up.
Shawn Michaels pulls him back down.]
RJ: Michaels just won't give up, no matter what he keeps clawing back up and stopping Phoenix from ending this match.
[Phoenix executes a clawhold.]
TR: There it is, the Underground move! He's digging into Michaels!
RJ: The vicious claw of the master of the Razzle Dazzle is digging into the Boy Toy's face, he is in big trouble now, it looks like Michaels is fading.
TR: Good night little man!
RJ: Wait, he's starting to fight back!
TR: Too little too late.
[Shawn Michaels reaches the ropes after being trapped for 23 seconds.]
TR: My god Jones he just won't quit! He got away again! This Michaels just doesn't know when he's licked.
RJ: and Phoenix head back up the ladder again!
[Phoenix tries to climb the ladder.
Phoenix is on his way up.
Shawn Michaels pulls him back down.
Phoenix whips Shawn Michaels into the ropes.]
TR: He's had enough of this Jones, he's going to put an end to this Michaels right now!
[Phoenix hits Shawn Michaels with a clothesline.]
RJ: Vicious clothesline, and Shawn down to the canvas!
[Phoenix goes for a Samoan Drop, but Shawn Michaels counters it with
an elbowsmash.
Shawn Michaels throws Phoenix out of the ring.
Phoenix removes the mat while he's down
Shawn Michaels jumps onto him with a plancha, but Phoenix moves out of the way.
Shawn Michaels hits the concrete floor]
RJ: Oh no! Michaels falls into the concrete floor! Dirty handed tricks by Phoenix are going to destroy the resilient Shawn Michaels tonight!
[They're brawling inside the ring area.
Shawn Michaels takes him down with a forearm smash.
Shawn Michaels goes for the Superkick, but Phoenix counters it with
a duck-down move.
Phoenix whips Shawn Michaels into the guard-rail.
Phoenix reenters the ring and once again winks to the girl]
RJ: The superkick didn't connect...
TR: and Michaels tasted steal, I love it! That's what he gets for stepping into SWF territory.
[Shawn Michaels follows him back in.
Phoenix runs into the ropes.
Shawn Michaels executes a bodyslam.]
RJ: Out of no where a bodyslam!
TR: He pulled that out of his..
RJ: Now Shawn is heading up for the first time and it doesn't look like Phoenix is getting up. How could one bodyslam affect him so much? He's not moving!
TR: Possum.
[Shawn Michaels tries to climb the ladder.
Shawn Michaels is on his way up.
Shawn Michaels is half-way up.]
TR: Possum!
RJ: He's still going up! Now Phoenix struggles to his feet.
[Shawn Michaels is almost on top of the ladder.]
TR: I SAID POSSUM DAMN IT!
[Phoenix brings him down with a top-rope DDT.
The crowd gasps once again]
RJ: Holy cow! From the top of the ladder he hit Shawn Michaels with a DDT! How did he get up there so fast! Unbelievable, he was playing possum and Shawn Michaels got caught!
TR: Head games Jones, they win matches, and since Michaels' brain is between his le....
RJ: Phoenix has all the energy in the world, lets see what he has in store for the Heartbreak Kid!
TR: At least you aren't calling him a boy toy anymore.
[Phoenix takes him down with a dropkick to the knee.
Phoenix takes him down with a flying fistdrop.
Phoenix whips Shawn Michaels into the turnbuckle, but Shawn Michaels
reverses it.
Shawn Michaels runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Phoenix
moves out of the way.
Phoenix nails him with a backdrop driver.
Phoenix executes a headlock takedown.
Phoenix tries to climb the ladder.
Phoenix is on his way up.
Phoenix is half-way up.]
RJ: Phoenix comes out on top of that exchange and now Shawn is just to his feat and following him up the ladder.
TR: He's so far behind, Phoenix is gonna get the comb!
[Phoenix is almost on top of the ladder.
Phoenix is in grabbing distance.]
TR: This is it Jones, Phoenix is going to prove to the world he is the true ladies man, this punk Michaels is nothing but a cheap rip off!
[Phoenix dives for the comb]
TR: Ye...
[but he misses.]
RJ: No! No! He missed the comb, he missed the comb! And down to the canvas goes the giant Phoenix with a thunderous crash! Michaels hops down and looks to take advantage of the situation!
[Shawn Michaels goes for a German suplex, but Phoenix counters it with
an elbowsmash.
Phoenix nails him with a fist to the midsection.
Phoenix gives the sign for the Razzle Dazzle.]
TR: Here it comes! This man is not hurt by anything, but he sure knows how to dish out the hurt!
[Phoenix executes the Razzle Dazzle.]
TR: Bang! Goodnight Irene!
RJ: Wait, he's picking Michaels back up, he's not done with him yet!
TR: He's going to punish this "dancing boy" and show him what a true ladies man is in that ring. Oh boy is there going to be a bloody mess named Shawn in that ring in a few minutes!
[Phoenix whips Shawn Michaels into the ropes.
Shawn Michaels bumps into Earl Hebner]
TR: That dirty rotten...
RJ: The referee goes down!
[Phoenix executes a flying forearm.
Phoenix throws Shawn Michaels out of the ring.
Phoenix goes through the ropes.
Phoenix is handed a microphone.
Phoenix hits him with the microphone.
The crowd gasps
Phoenix executes a jumping DDT.
Phoenix whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail.
Phoenix knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringsteps.
Phoenix takes him down with a jumping DDT.
Phoenix hits him with the microphone.]
RJ: Phoenix is hitting Michaels with everything but the kitchen sink! Foreign objects, stairs, guard-rails, will the torture of the former champ ever end. Phoenix is systematically breaking Shawn Michaels into a fraction of his former self in that ring.
TR: He is kicking his ass, I'll have to agree with that!
[Phoenix executes a chinlock deathlock submission.
Phoenix takes him down with an elbowsmash.
Phoenix knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringsteps.
Phoenix hits him with the microphone.
Phoenix takes him down with a slingshot legdrop.
Phoenix knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringpost.
Some people in the crowd are booing as Michaels is battered
Phoenix nails him with a fist to the midsection.
They're brawling inside the ring area.]
RJ: He just keeps pounding him and pounding him! It's finally getting to this crowd, I just can't watch this anymore!
TR: Isn't it sweat!
[Phoenix goes for the Razzle Dazzle, but Shawn Michaels counters it with
a backdrop.]
RJ: Backdrop! Shawn Michaels is not finished, I can't believe it! Phoenix hits the floor.
[Earl Hebner is back on the job.
Shawn Michaels climbs back into the ring.
Shawn Michaels poses for the crowd.]
TR: Freakin' egomaniac and his posing! Someone really has to give him a beating, who does he think he is posing like that!?
[Phoenix throws Shawn Michaels out of the ring.]
TR: Yeah!
RJ: Michaels is caught by the alert Phoenix who tosses him back to the unfriendly confined outside the ring. Will he continue his pounding of the Heartbreak Kid? Can he take anymore?
[Phoenix goes through the ropes.
Phoenix goes for the Razzle Dazzle, but Shawn Michaels counters it with
a facerake.
Shawn Michaels whips Phoenix into the guardrail.
Shawn Michaels whips Phoenix into the guardrail.
The crowd cheers for the first time.]
RJ: He has this crowd cheering, Shawn Michaels has turned the tables on this vicious monster!
TR: He really is a tough cookie, but Phoenix won't fall to any pretty boy!
[Shawn Michaels executes the Superkick on the concrete floor.
The fans clap politely]
RJ: SUPERKICK!!!!! He nailed it!
TR: No way! No way! Oh god no!
[Shawn Michaels throws Phoenix back into the ring.]
TR: Oh he's going to try to embarrass him, is that it? Why wouldn't he leave him on the outside and climb the ladder? Michaels is an egomaniac!
[Shawn Michaels nails him with an enzuigiri.
Shawn Michaels nails him with a flying bodypress.
Phoenix nails him with a diamond cutter.]
TR: Cutter! He got him right on!
RJ: Michaels is down and out, what a move right out of no where by Phoenix and he has just swung the momentum around 180 degrees!
[Phoenix tries to climb the ladder.
Phoenix is on his way up.
Phoenix is half-way up.]
RJ: He's going up and the Heartbreak Kid is still on the ground, he's not moving!
[Phoenix is almost on top of the ladder.
Phoenix is in grabbing distance.]
TR: This is one small step for Phoenix, one giant leap for the Underground!
[Phoenix has retrieved the comb.
The crowd boos]
TR: YES! There he is, the one and only ladies man of professional wrestling, standing on top of the world.. Phoenix!
RJ: A long, and brutal match with Phoenix coming out on top, but Shawn Michaels sure did fight hard.
TR: Yeah, he gets some credit, but Phoenix is just too damn good!
JH: The winner of this match, and real Ladies Man of Pro-Wrestling.... Phoenix!
["Shitlist" by L7 begins playing as Phoenix throws the comb down to the mat and walks off with Mr. America. He then turns back, goes into the crowd, and gets the lady he was winking at who walks backstage with him]
Diane Warwick: Oh that Phoenix! Quite the catch. We will now give you the chance to join up the SWF network.
[Screen shows a bunch of wrestlers doing high impact moves in the ring. Moonsaults, powerbombs, that sort of stuff. Then the camera cuts to clips of people on the street talking.]
Man: It's fantastic!
Woman: It's unbelievable!
Woman2: It's crazyness!
Man2: You have to see it to believe it!
Voice: Do you want people to have respect like that for you and what you do? Well then be the next wrestler to hit the SWF and make your presence felt. There are 3 cards a week. Triumphant Tuesday, where the stars come out to shine. SWF Slaughterhouse, where all the vicious, hardcore wrestling skills are shown, and the Thursday House Show following our SWF stars wherever they go. Don't miss out on your chance to be in Ron Yvette's fantastic fed. Just follow the yellow brick road to...
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSqaure/Alley/7415/swf.html
[Scene once again shows Dione Warwick]
Dione: Now our next match will feature Doug Bacon and the Sandman, kids drinking beer is bad!
[The Sandman is in the ring swinging around his cane. He jugs a beer and crushes it on his forehead cutting himself.]
TR: This guy is a world class idiot! Get a brain you dumbass!
RJ: I have to agree, he really doesn't seem to have much in the way of common sense, cutting himself before a match with Doug Bacon is not going to help you in winning the match.
[A heavy metal version of "99 bottles of beer on the wall" starts playing, but it goes "99
Bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, if one of them happens to
be gulped down, 98 bottles of beer on the wall." etc ... But real heavy
metal smashing and crashing type music.]
JH: His opponent, from Sudbury, Ontario.... Weighing in at 340lbs the former LAW World Champion being lead to the ring by a former great broadcaster Paul von Braun... here is the master of the Fried Bacon... Doug "Beer Drinking" Bacon!
[Doug Bacon chugs a beer as he walks to the ring with Paul von Braun, he burps and breaths in some geezer's face who faints and Paul von Braun breaks down laughing.]
RJ: Disgusting!
TR: You've gotta love this guy!
[Doug Bacon attacks The Sandman before the bell.
Doug Bacon whips The Sandman into the ropes.
The Sandman goes for a kick to the head, but Doug Bacon counters it with
a duck-down move.
The bell rings
Doug Bacon nails him with a sleeperhold.]
TR: Put the moron to sleep Douggie!
RJ: How is one guy who jugs a beer in the ring any worse then another guy who does it?
TR: Well Doug has got talent, and he's good, while the Sandman here cuts himself with his beer, see the difference.
[Doug Bacon lets go after 24 seconds.]
RJ: He just lets go of a possible win!
TR: Time to show this big ass moron who's boss! Doug will do it too... Fry his brains Doug!
[The Sandman goes for a reverse neckbreaker, but Doug Bacon blocks it.
Doug Bacon whips The Sandman into the turnbuckle, but The Sandman reverses it.
The Sandman runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Doug Bacon lifts his knee.
The crowd gasps]
RJ: Bacon times it perfectly and nails The Sandman. He's completely dazed.
TR: Some folks say Doug doesn't have ring smarts, but that's a prime example right there of his ring presence Jones. Don't underestimate this man!
[Doug Bacon nails him with an elbowsmash.
Doug Bacon executes a Russian legsweep.
Doug Bacon places The Sandman on the turnbuckle.]
TR: Here we go... Fry his Brains!
RJ: This will be it for the Sandman if he hits it... the...
[Doug Bacon executes the Fried Bacon and goes for the pin.]
TR: FRIED BACON! Goodnight Irene!
[Danny Davis counts: One, two, three.]
RJ: It is over! Doug Bacon takes care of business in the ring very quickly and the Sandman is a total mess! That top rope DDT is vicious!
JH: Here is your winner.... Doug "Beer Drinking" Bacon!
[The electric "99 bottles of Beer on the Wall" plays as Doug Bacon steals one of Sandman's beers, looks at it, sees that it's American, and throws it into the crowd. He then chugs a Canadian beer and walks off.]
RJ: Now Dione will give you yet another chance to join the SWF.
[Scene shows Dione in her chair once again.]
Dione: Well that certainly was a display of fine.. skill... now here's you're chance to get in on all the action.
[Screen shows a bunch of wrestlers doing high impact moves in the ring. Moonsaults, powerbombs, that sort of stuff. Then the camera cuts to clips of people on the street talking.]
Man: It's fantastic!
Woman: It's unbelievable!
Woman2: It's crazyness!
Man2: You have to see it to believe it!
Voice: Do you want people to have respect like that for you and what you do? Well then be the next wrestler to hit the SWF and make your presence felt. There are 3 cards a week. Triumphant Tuesday, where the stars come out to shine. SWF Slaughterhouse, where all the vicious, hardcore wrestling skills are shown, and the Thursday House Show following our SWF stars wherever they go. Don't miss out on your chance to be in Ron Yvette's fantastic fed. Just follow the yellow brick road to...
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSqaure/Alley/7415/swf.html
[Scene once again shows Dione Warwick]
Dione: Will I ever find men like these SWF men?
Someone Backstage: Not a chance in hell!
Dione: I don't have to tolerate this, I really don...
JH: Ladies and Gentlemen this match is falls count anywhere in the studio! Introducing first, from Death Valley, here is the World Wrestling Federation Champion and master of the Tombstone... The Undertaker!
[The Undertaker's Theme starts to play as the entire studio goes dark.]
TR: This is getting really old Jones, really old.
RJ: Damn right it is!
[The lights go back on to reveal the Undertaker pushing a casket to ringside from backstage, some old people point and yell "death!" as the Undertaker steps over the tope rope and into the ring. He gives the referee his belt and drops to one knee while lifting his hand in the air]
TR: Blah Blah Blah, the man from the darkside, give me a break! Who really cares anymore, I'm so sick of this guy, Jagged Edge is going to wipe the floor with him!
RJ: Well the Undertaker is a world champ, but the same can be said for Jagged Edge.
TR: Really?
RJ: In the CWA he is the Universal champion, however, that means nothing here, and neither does the WWF title.
JH: and his opponent, from Denver Colorado, weighing in at 287 pounds. Being led to the ring by Kim Kelly here is the master of the shattered dreams.... Jagged Edge!
["Me Killa" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony blares out through the speakers as Jagged Edge comes down to ringside accompanied by his lovely manager, Kim Kelly, wearing a skin tight leather dress. He struts down to ringside.]
TR: YEAH! Wowoo! Shake that thing baby!
RJ: Am I going to need a raincoat?
TR: What the hell are you talking about?
RJ: Never mind.
TR: I won't.
RJ: Here we go. The Undertaker has the size advantage, I'm not sure what else to say.
TR: This is wait and see Jones, we've never seen him in the ring.
[The bell rings
They lock up.
The Undertaker whips Jagged Edge into the turnbuckle, but Jagged Edge
reverses it.
Jagged Edge runs shoulder-first into the corner, but The Undertaker
moves out of the way.
The Undertaker runs into the ropes.
Jagged Edge misses with a shoulderblock.
Jagged Edge misses with a kick.
Jagged Edge hits The Undertaker with a backdrop.
The Undertaker falls out of the ring.]
RJ: The Undertaker falls to the outside! He hit the mats out there and stood right back up! Back and forth action here at Studio B!
[Jagged Edge goes through the ropes.
They're brawling down the stairway.]
TR: They're in the fans!
RJ: This could get ugly, old people are scattering as the two big men brawl up the stairway in the crowd, we're doing our best to follow the action, here comes Kim!
TR: Woohooo!
[Kim Kelly comes from behind, but The Undertaker nails Kim Kelly.]
TR: He hit a woman! Lock him up! Where are the cops when you need them Jones?
RJ: Wait, what did she drop... she handed Jagged Edge brass knuckles!
TR: Ingenious, Kim has brains too!
[Jagged Edge is handed the brass knuckles.
Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.
They're brawling on the stage next to Dione Warwick.
Dione Warwick runs away screaming.
Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.
Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts The Undertaker.
Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.
Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.
Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.]
RJ: This is crazyness! Jagged Edge is viciously pounding the Undertaker over and over again with brass knuckles. That's 5 times in less then a minute! Now they're forcing Dione out of here seat, this is nuts!
TR: Take it to him Edge, boy is that Undertaker getting a first class beating, that's what No DQ does for you! This is great.
[They're brawling up the stairway.
Jagged Edge gives him a bearhug, but The Undertaker doesn't sell it at all.
Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.
They're brawling in the production booth.
Jagged Edge catches him in a power bomb onto a lightboard.]
RJ: I can't believe it! They're in our production area! This is the craziest match I've seen! Why did we agree to have falls count anywhere in a TV studio? How can he get up from this?
[James Beard counts: One, two]
TR: It's over Jones!
[thr... shoulder up.]
RJ: No! He got the shoulder up, this man is inhuman! How can he take that sort of punishment and still get his shoulder up? What an athlete.
TR: Edge is pounding him, he's got great skills too.
RJ: Oh sure, he can hit someone with knuckles 10 times, great skills!
TR: It's that time of the month again isn't it Jones?
[Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.
Jagged Edge nails him with a scorpion deathlock.
The Undertaker manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds.]
RJ: The Undertaker busts out of the scorpion deathlock in no time at all, he's still going strong after shot after shot from the brass knuckles!
[Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts The Undertaker.
They're brawling down the stairway.
Jagged Edge executes a spinning power bomb.
James Beard counts: One, two, thr... kickout.]
RJ: Kick out!
TR: That was a beautiful power bomb, boy he can really slam a man down, I'm liking this Jagged Edge, he's got what it takes and he's really pounding the man from the dark side [Tom Rogers groans] why do I have to say that?
RJ: Because it was part of the deal.
[Jagged Edge knocks The Undertaker into the stairway.
Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts The Undertaker.
Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.
They're brawling down the stairway.]
RJ: The Undertaker is taking a brutal beating, more shots from those brass knuckles, he is slammed into the stairway, Jagged Edge is an animal!
[Jagged Edge goes for a piledriver, but The Undertaker blocks it.
The Undertaker knocks Jagged Edge into the stairway.
Jagged Edge is busted wide open.]
RJ: Jagged Edge is busted open! The Undertaker is now starting to fight back and Edge is the first to draw blood in SWF history! He really hit the stairs hard. We don't have much of a crowd right now, they're all running away from this violent action!
[The Undertaker takes him down with a fist to the midsection.
The crowd gasps]
TR: That's gotta hurt!
[They're brawling on the stage.
They're brawling up the stairway.
They're brawling down the stairway.]
RJ: They're exchanging blows, left and right, this is brutal, I've never seen anything like this, they haven't been close to the ring since they first left it!
TR: This is great Jones, what else could you ask for? I'm having a ball!
[The Undertaker goes for a waistlock suplex, but Jagged Edge counters it with
an elbowsmash.
They're brawling on the stage.
The Undertaker executes a side suplex.
Dione Warwick hands The Undertaker is handed a bottle.]
TR: What is she doing? It's not Jag's fault that the Undertaker fell into her! This is wrong, she's just supposed to whine about not having a man, get her out of here!
[The Undertaker hits him with the bottle.
Some people scream.
The Undertaker is going for the pin.]
RJ: He shattered that bottle over Jagged Edge's head! This is unbelievable, how are these men still moving let alone wrestling!
TR: This isn't a wrestling match Jones, it's a war, a brawl, a street fight, something like that but not a wrestling match!
[James Beard counts: One, two, shoulder up.
They're brawling on the stage.
The Undertaker executes an elbowdrop.
They're brawling down the stairway.
The Undertaker nails him with a headbutt.
They're brawling up the stairway.
Jagged Edge is handed the brass knuckles.
Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.]
TR: KNUCKS!
RJ: More shots from the brass knuckles! This is getting ridiculous, is that all Jagged Edge knows how to do?
[They're brawling on the stage.
The Undertaker grabs the brass knuckles from him.]
RJ: Uh oh! Uh oh! Now the Undertaker's got the knuckles, time for the 'Taker's revenge! This is going to be sweat!
TR: Oh crap...
[The Undertaker gives him a bodyslam, but Jagged Edge doesn't sell it at all.]
TR: [laughing] that idiot! He didn't even use them, does he have a lack of a brain, I guess that's what was in that urn after all!
[Jagged Edge knocks The Undertaker into the stairway.
Kim Kelly comes from behind, but The Undertaker nails Kim Kelly.
Jagged Edge goes for a Gorilla Press, but The Undertaker counters it with
a rolling reverse cradle.]
RJ: He caught him in the cradle, this could do it!
[James Beard counts: One, two, KICKOUT.]
TR: He threw him ten feet in the air Jones! Edge is at full force!
[Jagged Edge is going for the pin.
James Beard counts: One, two, thr... kickout.]
RJ: Oh that was close! What action, these two men are really risking themselves for the sake of the match!
[They're brawling down the stairway.
Jagged Edge goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but The Undertaker counters it with
an enzuilariato.
They're brawling backstage.
Jagged Edge sets up a table.
They're brawling up the stairway.]
TR: He set up a table and then they left the backstage area? What the hell was the point? Sometimes it looks like these guys have gotten hit in the head one too many times..
RJ: It's back to the stairway again!
[Jagged Edge goes for the Doctor Bomb, but The Undertaker counters it with
a backdrop..
Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.]
RJ: While down on the stairs Jagged Edge picked up the knuckles and drove them into the Undertaker's skull again! How many times is he going to do this!? He gets in trouble and he pulls out the knuckles again. This is pathetic.
TR: He's smart Jones, he has to beat the dead man until he's deader then dead and this is the best way of doing it, that's called using your head!
[They're brawling on the stage.
Jagged Edge goes for the Doctor Bomb, but The Undertaker counters it with
a backdrop.
The Undertaker is going for the pin.
James Beard counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
RJ: Kickout!
TR: Like he was going to get the win with a backdrop.
[They're brawling on the stage.
Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts The Undertaker.]
TR: Talk about a distraction, she's got a couple distractions! Whoa!
RJ: You're going to short circuit the equipment Tom!
[They're brawling up the stairway.
Jagged Edge goes for a powerslam, but The Undertaker counters it with a lariat.
They're brawling in the production room.
Jagged Edge catches him in a power bomb and his head smashes into the TV monitor.]
RJ: Oh my god! His head broke the TV monitor, this match is going to cost us big time! They're destroying this studio!
[James Beard counts: One, two]
TR: Goodnight Dead Man!
[three.]
RJ: He got him! It's over! What a match ladies and gentlemen, you just witnessed the match of the century! Not very technical, but the action was crazy and they really put their bodies on the line.
TR: Lets not go nuts Jones, but a well deserved win for Jagged Edge. [awkward silence] well it was!
JH: The winner of this match is Jagged Edge!
["Me Killa" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony as a bloody Jagged Edge and Kim Kelly celebrate and walk back to their dressing room. The Undertaker is carted off.]
RJ: My god! That was brutal. We lost our crowd.
TR: Half of them probably had strokes.
RJ: So now can we find some more people? I don't think we're going to find anyone...
[All of a sudden a swarm of 18+ year old guys burst through the doors and drop into the seats. They start hollering and cheering. A "we want blood" chant starts up and the studio is shaking.]
RJ: Oh yeah! We've got a wrestling crowd now! Lets see how they react to great SWF action!
TR: Better then those old folks home rejects, talk about a dead crowd, literally!
RJ: While we try to clean things up and get things back in order lets go to Gabe Zachery-Colbert with Ron Yvette backstage, then Dione will take you through joining SWF once again.
RJ: We're back, and ready for action here...
[The nWo theme starts to play]
RJ: ... here we go!
[The nWo comes from the top of the crowd, Hollywood Hogan, Erik Bishoff, Trillionaire Ted, Vince, Randy Savage, The Outsiders, and Syxx all make the trip. Some chants of nWo start up but they are muffled by the booing and harassing of the crowd and they are papered with cups. Hogan gets to the ring and calls for the microphone while the music is still playing. He starts to play his nWo belt like a guitar.]
TR: Why? Why the hell did we ever ask this man, for lack of a better word, to be on our show.
RJ: Just know that we didn't ask, that's all you need to know.
TR: These guys just make me want to vomit, I mean blood guts and everything! Disgusting!
Hogan: Well brutas, Hollywood's here to show your puny little fed and all you nWoites out there just how powerful the family is brutha! Bring on your Mr. America and I'll pound on him until he's a bloody pulp! You aren't nothin' you flag waving piece of trash. What do you have around your waste, some woman's league TV title, you aren't in Hollywood's class, you don't even belong on Hollywood's planet!
Nash: Tell 'em Hollywood!
Bishoff: I love you guys, I really, really love you guys.
TR: I don't want to know what's going on in that nWo limo.
RJ: Please Tom, do you ever think anything you don't say, I just ate.
[All of a sudden on the TV screens used for the ads Mr. America appears.
Mr. America is sitting backstage taping up his wrist. He looks towards the
SWF camera. Mr. America smirks as he keeps taping up his wrist.]
MA: So I get to be the man to face the "Immortal" Hulk Hogan...oh wait!
That's "Hollywood" Hogan now isn't it? Yeah, either way he's the "Icon" of
the wrestling world. Let me put it to you straight Hogan, there's a
difference between you and me. Let's start with the basics, I can wrestle.
You just act terrible in the ring and on the screen. You talk and bore
people behind the mic. I shoot and get called the heat machine because I
don't use that cheap crap that you spew evertime I turn on the channel and
watch you. I'm someone that knows what it means to be a champion. I don't
let the challenges come to me. I go out and find them.
[Mr. America gets done taping up his wrist and holds up the OWA TV title. Hogan starts to laugh at it while pointing at the screen]
TR: He does not want to start doing that, be sure! He does not want to do that!
MA: Hogan, this isn't a world belt, but it's got more respect than that heap
of gold you heave around. You don't defend your title on a regular basis
and you walk around like everyone needs to kiss your ass. Let me put it
straight for ya Hogan. I'm gonna pound on you, I'm gonna out wrestle you,
and flat out. I'm gonna shoot you straight to high heaven and right back to
the depths of hell! No one talks a better game than myself and everyone
knows I'm not for squakin' without walkin'. You called yourself a real
American back in your day when Vince made you what you were! No one made me
but ME!
[Hogan is pacing, he looks mad and he cuts off Mr. America]
Hogan: Listen, no one made me! Especially not that pip squeek McMoron! I made wrestling, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have a job you little puke, you are going to learn a thing or two tonight brotha because I do what I want to do. That's what the fans have found out!
MA: Hogan, I could care less if you've turned your backs on the fans.
I could care less for what you have to say because it's going to be
pathetic. Even Debora McMichaels knows how to work a mic better than you
do! Hogan, if the Made in America piledriver doesn't get ya, the American
Flyer flying legdrop will. Hogan, soon you'll understand why I'm dubbed
"America's Perfection". Soon you'll see why I'm what EVERY American aspires
to be! Soon, you'll find out why I'll become the SWF Heat Machine! Call
those my catch phrases, but unlike a lot of people runnin' around the
leagues today. I don't need you or your ideas to push myself! This is one
man that Hogan had no hand in making because I did it on my own! As for the
nWo.
[Mr. America lifts up a rOb shirt.]
MA: Mangs...bring it! Don't sing it!
Hogan: America, get your ass out here and say that stuff to my face brutha!
Nash: That's right, lets see what ya' got! nWo 4 life!
[The opening guitar rift of "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC plays. Mr. America
looks towards the entrance to the aisle.]
MA: Time to pay the piper Hogan, and I'm not hot rod that's running on fumes
either!
[Mr. America gets up and walks out of the camera view.]
JH: Ladie...
[Donovan Thomas and Paul VonBraun walk to the ring and tap Tom and Robert
on the shoulder.]
PVB: We've got this one.
TR: Fine with me, I'd rather be in a washroom then watch Hogan wrestle a
match.
[Tom Rogers and Robert Jones leave as Donovan Thomas and Paul VonBraun take
a seat.]
PVB: Well here we go. We've got jobs as announcer's again.
DT: I wouldn't say that Paul. We've been hired for the SWF Ringside weekly
report. Also joining us is the old UCW crew in Claudia Stevenson, Marc
Mayhem, Angelo DelSalzo, and Sean Thompson.
PVB: Not that little pipsqueak. At least he's not out here!
["Highway to Hell" continues to play as the fans go crazy.]
JH: His opponent! Hailing from Washington D.C and weighing in at 278lbs.
Here is what every American aspires to be, the self proclaimed "America's
Perfection", and the self proclaimed "Heat Machine" of any federation he
graces. Here is the current Online Wrestling Alliance TV champion, Mr.
America!
[The chorus to "Highway to Hell" kicks in as the fans start to sing it.
Mr. America walks out to the ring carrying a microphone. He walks around
to the other side of the ring opposite the nWo. He takes off his jacket
and unstraps the OWA TV title from around his waist. He holds it up as
the nWo laugh. The second chorus to his music kicks in as Mr. America
climbs up onto the ring apron. Mr. America climbs into the ring as the
lights dim. The guitar solo kicks in as red, white, and blue lights
flicker around the arena. The music cuts off as Mr. America puts the mic
to his face.]
MA: Hogan, you've got your boy toys down here, and I've got my friends.
[The Underground members stand up in the audience as the fans cheer. The Underground members hop over the railing and back the nWo members back up the aisle. Mr. America smiles.]
PVB: You have to admit that the Underground isn't a pleasant thing to have as
opponents.
DT: They've proven that time and time again. Mr. America is going to talk a
little more before the match.
MA: Hogan, you said if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have a job? Hogan,
thanks to you I do have a job. A job to make wrestling respectable once
again, be it through technical grace in the ring, or kicking ass out of the
ring with the Underground. Now let's just stop the talking. I really don't
care what your roid abusing mind has to say.
[Mr. America throws the mic out of hte ring as Hogan climbs back in.]
DT: Mr. America is one of the more vocal superstars I've seen in the
wrestling world. Some would say he talks a better game than he wrestles.
PVB: Everyone has critics ya know.
[They lock up. Hollywood Hogan whips Mr. America into the ropes.
Hollywood Hogan misses with a kick. Mr. America misses with a
clothesline. Mr. America executes a fist to the midsection.]
DT: Hogan doubled over from that fist to his midsection and Mr. America is
already going for his leaping piledriver finisher!
PVB: He's not messing around here tonight! I think he's wanted this match
for a long time!
[Mr. America goes for the Made in America, but Hollywood Hogan counters it
with a single-leg takedown.]
DT: Hogan avoids that piledriver of Mr. America. Mr. America went to end
this match quickly, but Hogan's not hurt enough yet!
PVB: Wow! Hogan knows what a single-leg takedown is. You have to admit
that's pretty impressive.
[Hollywood Hogan goes for a bodyslam, but Mr. America counters it with
a small package.]
DT: Mr. America wraps Hogan up into a small package!
[Danny Davis counts: One, shoulder up.]
PVB: No Dice Hogan! You suck gramps!
[Hollywood Hogan re: reverses it. Danny Davis counts: One, two, shoulder
up.]
DT: Hogan with a reversal, but only gets a two count. That wasn't a text
book small package if you ask me.
PVB: There's only three moves Hogan knows. His legdrop, his kick to the
head, and his shooting up on roids.
DT: PAUL!!!
PVB: What!? It's the truth.
[Hollywood Hogan goes for a bodyslam, but Mr. America counters it with
a small package.]
DT: Mr. America wraps Hogan up with another small package!
PVB: Mr. America is out wrestling him! He's countering most of what Hogan
has thrown at him! I know Mr. America is a great technician of the sport,
but he's also one to brawl if it comes to that.
[Danny Davis counts: One, shoulder up.]
DT: Only a one cout for Mr. America!
PVB: Damn it Davis! Count faster!
[Mr. America catches him in a power bomb.]
DT: Mr. America sends Hogan to the mat with a massive power bomb! Mr.
America has a lot of power in his frame and he likes to use it.
[Danny Davis counts: One, two, kickout. Mr. America executes a flying
bodypress.]
PVB: Mr. America is just throwing Hogan off here with changing styles!
DT: Mr. America comes off the top rope with a splash!
[Danny Davis counts: One, two, kickout.]
DT: Mr. America still fails to get the pin from that one as well.
PVB: It's the ref I tell ya!
[Mr. America whips Hollywood Hogan into the ropes, but Hollywood Hogan
reverses it. Mr. America hits Hollywood Hogan with a shoulderblock. Mr.
America is going for the pin.]
DT: A shoulderblock sends Hogan to the mat and Mr. America falls on him for
the cover!
PVB: THis one is over. Hogan's too out of shape and too out of date.
[Danny Davis counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
DT: Only a count of two and Hogan gets his shoulder up. I wouldn't count
Hogan out yet. He's one of the biggest names of all time in wrestling.
PVB: WAS is the keyword there.
[Mr. America nails him with a short lariat.]
DT: Good lord! Mr. America is just all over "Hollywood" Hogan in there!
[Danny Davis counts: One, two, kickout.]
PVB: ARGH!
DT: Hogan kicks out yet again. You have to give him credit for making
wrestling as popluar as it was in the 80's.
PVB: Yeah, but the real legends like Lawler, Flair, and the others busted
their asses to make it respectable. Hogan never did that.
[Mr. America gives him a Russian legsweep, but Hollywood Hogan doesn't
sell it at all. Hollywood Hogan gives him a chop, but Mr. America doesn't
budge.]
DT: Neither man selling the other's moves. Hogan with a massive chop to the
chest of Mr. America, but Mr. America doesn't even move!
PVB: That's why he's the real American around here! He truly is America's
perfection!
[Mr. America goes for a backdrop driver, but Hollywood Hogan counters it
with a backward kick. Hollywood Hogan whips Mr. America into the ropes.
Hollywood Hogan misses with an elbow. Hollywood Hogan misses with a
clothesline. Mr. America executes a Hotshot.]
PVB: Hogan misses two moves and all it takes is America one chance to hit
that hotshot.
DT: That move was made by the old Memphis wrestler "Hotstuff" Eddie Gilbert
and it's become a popular move ever since.
[Hollywood Hogan runs into the ropes. Hollywood Hogan takes him down with
a bodyslam. Hollywood Hogan gives him a roundhouse right, but Mr. America
only stares at him.]
DT: Hogan nails Mr. America and Mr. America is just looking at him! Hogan
doesn't know what to do! He's taken on a lot of tough opponents, but no one
with as much intesity as Mr. America!
PVB: Mr. America is just a walking bad attitude when you give him a moron
like Hogan.
[Mr. America nails him with an armbar submission.]
DT: Mr. America takes the opportunity of Hogan being stunned and takes him to
the mat with an armbar submission!
[Hollywood Hogan reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Mr.
America runs into the ropes. Hollywood Hogan misses with a shoulderblock.
Hollywood Hogan hits Mr. America with a clothesline. Hollywood Hogan
takes him down with a roundhouse right. Hollywood Hogan goes for a
bodyslam, but Mr. America counters it with a small package.]
PVB: Hogan, you're no match in the ring for America. Just give it up now!
DT: Hogan mounts an offense, but Mr. America pulls that small package out of
nowhere!
[Danny Davis counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
DT: Hogan gets his shoulder up before the three count. Mr. America has
really been pulling out those small packages.
PVB: Those are text book small packages too!
[Mr. America goes for a back suplex, but Hollywood Hogan blocks it.
Hollywood Hogan nails him with a roundhouse right. Hollywood Hogan takes
him down with a snap mare. Hollywood Hogan goes for an elbowdrop, but Mr.
America counters it with a roll away. Mr. America leaves the ring.]
DT: Mr. America rolls right out of the way of that elbowdrop and keeps
rolling outside to the ring.
[The crowd boos some.]
DT: Looks like Mr. America is taking a breather. He's been doing all of the
work thus far in the match.
PVB: Hold on and you'll see why he's out here.
[Paul VonBraun shifts through Mr. America's jacket and pulls out a pair of
brass knuckles. Paul VonBraun tosses them to Mr. America.]
DT: Paul??
PVB: Oh, he just wanted his brass knuckles..but I just hope I gave him the
right pair.
[Paul VonBraun keeps shifting through Mr. America's jacket and pulls out
five more pair of brass knuckles. Donovan Thomas widens his eyes.]
PVB: What? Mr. America is always prepared.
[He returns with brass knuckles.
Mr. America hits him with the knuckles.]
DT: Mr. America nails Hogan as Hogan gets back to his feet! Mr. America
isn't one that calls himself a hardcore style wrestler.
PVB: That's true, but he is hardcore.
[Mr. America runs into the ropes. Mr. America gives him a flying forearm,
but Hollywood Hogan doesn't sell it at all. Mr. America points to himself
and yells, "I'm what every America aspires to be!".]
DT: Mr. America lets the crowd know what he feels about himself.
[The crowd claps politely.]
PVB: What's with this clapping crap!? Where's the real crowd?
[The camera pans to a section of the audience where a bunch of people are
guzzling beer.]
PVB: Ah, there we go!
[The camera cuts back to the ring.]
DT: Mr. America still in control of this match, but his boasting may cost him.
[Mr. America goes for a reverse neckbreaker, but Hollywood Hogan blocks
it. Hollywood Hogan nails him with a bodyslam.]
PVB: Hey! Captain Steroid (tm S. Barnett) finally hit that bodyslam without
it getting countered.
[Hollywood Hogan whips Mr. America into the ropes. Mr. America gives him
a reverse neckbreaker, but Hollywood Hogan doesn't sell it at all.
Hollywood Hogan runs into the ropes. Mr. America takes him down with a
fist to the midsection.]
DT: Hogan doubled over in pain for that brass knuckle enhanced fist! Hogan
is in pain!
[Mr. America grabs Hogan and sets him up for a piledriver. Mr. America
raises his hands in the air and yells, "America!"]
DT: Mr. America giving his old ILOC sign for the Made in America! I haven't
seen him use that in a long time!
[Mr. America executes the Made in America and goes for the pin.]
DT: HE HITS IT! He hit his leaping piledriver finisher!
[Danny Davis counts: One, two, KICKOUT.]
PVB: Out of predictability, Hogan kicks out with power.
[Mr. America catches him in a dragon suplex. Danny Davis counts: One,
two, kickout.]
DT: Mr. America doesn't stop. He goes right back to offense with a dragon
suplex, but can't get the win out of it.
[Mr. America catches him in a power bomb.]
PVB: Now that's how you power bomb someone!
[Danny Davis counts: One, two, kickout.]
DT: Hogan kicks out again. Usually it's Hogan that takes control of the
match after his monster kick out!
[Hollywood Hogan begs off.]
PVB: Oh yeah! He's got Hogan on the run!
[The crowd starts to cheer.]
DT: The crowd behind Mr. America it looks like.
[Mr. America nails him with a Russian legsweep. Mr. America nails him
with a German suplex.]
DT: Mr. America bridges up! He's really putting on a technical display here!
PVB: That's something Hogan doesn't know how to do!
[Danny Davis counts: One, two, kickout. Mr. America takes him down with a
flying forearm. Danny Davis counts: One, kickout.]
DT: Mr. America can't get the pin after a German suplex or that flying forearm.
[Mr. America goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Hollywood Hogan blocks
it. Hollywood Hogan executes a snap mare. Hollywood Hogan nails him with
a headbutt. Hollywood Hogan whips Mr. America into the ropes, but Mr.
America reverses it. Hollywood Hogan gives him a bodyslam, but Mr.
America doesn't sell it at all. Hollywood Hogan begs off.]
DT: Mr. America right back to his feet after that bodyslam and Hogan's
calling for a time out!
PVB: Oh yeah!
DT: Here come the nWo....
PVB: Not for long!
[The nWo start down to the ring, but the Underground stops them on the way
there. A man smoking a cigar clobbers Savage from behind. The man puts
his cigar out in the forehead of Savage.]
PVB: Retribution shows why you don't mess with the Underground!
[The Mobster locks Buff Bagwell into the Prohibition as Tony "the Tooth"
hits Buff with his violin case. Retribution nails Savage with the Pay
Back. The other nWo members scatter as the Underground members chase
them. Tank flies off the guardrail with the Goodnight Irene onto Erik
Bischoff. The three Underground members pulls the three nWo members back
into the locker room area.]
DT: FOr once, I have to say I feel sorry for the nWo.
PVB: I don't. Besides Hall, Nash, and Syxx, those guys suck. Besides, the
Outsiders and Syxx didn't come out with the nWo. Back to the match now.
[Mr. America runs into the ropes. Hollywood Hogan misses with an elbow.
Hollywood Hogan nails him with a kick to the midsection. Hollywood Hogan
gives him a bodyslam, but Mr. America doesn't sell it at all. Mr. America
goes for an armbar submission, but Hollywood Hogan blocks it.]
DT: Mr. America doesn't sell that bodyslam again and Hogan blocks that
armbar submission. Mr. America has controlled the majority of this match
up this far. All Hogan has to do is hit his Big Leg Drop and this one
will be history.
PVB: All America has to do is plant Hogan again and this one is over.
[Hollywood Hogan runs into the ropes. Hollywood Hogan executes a kick to
the head. Hollywood Hogan executes the Big Leg Drop and goes for the
pin.]
DT: He hits that big leg! He covers Mr. America!
[Danny Davis counts: One,]
PVB: America's just messing around with him.
[two,]
DT: Mr. America has yet to move!
PVB: No Dice!
[thr...]
PVB: I said NO DICE!!
[shoulder up.]
DT: Mr. America gets his shoulder up at the last possible moment! Hogan
looks to be shaken that didn't finish Mr. America off!
PVB: It's hard to finish off someone when you use a weak move like Hogan does.
[Hollywood Hogan executes an elbowdrop. Mr. America executes a clawhold.]
DT: Hogan drops an elbow onto Mr. America, but Mr. America comes right back
with a clawhold!
PVB: That is the signature move of the Underground! He knows how to use that
move!
[Hollywood Hogan reaches the ropes after being trapped for 9 seconds. Mr.
America hits him with the knuckles. Mr. America nails him with a chinlock
deathlock submission.]
DT: Mr. America with another shot from those knuckles and he locks on a
chinlock deathlock submission.
PVB: This is another move Mr. America has incoperated as a finisher. He
calls it the Cry of Freedom.
[Hollywood Hogan manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 37 seconds.]
DT: Mr. America has the hold down well. Hogan fought to the ropes and Mr.
America kept him away from them for more than thirty seconds!
[Mr. America whips Hollywood Hogan into the ropes, but Hollywood Hogan
reverses it. Mr. America misses with an elbow. Mr. America misses with
an elbow. Hollywood Hogan hits Mr. America with a backdrop. Hollywood
Hogan nails him with a chop. Hollywood Hogan takes him down with a chop.]
PVB: You see that!? Hogan has to take Flair's moves to get the job done!
He's no Nature Boy and he's disgracing Ric with that move!
DT: I think we need to kill the talk of other feds here. I'm sure that Mr.
Yvette doesn't appreciate them as they are rival organizations.
PVB: He can kiss my a...
DT: Shut up Paul!
[Hollywood Hogan whips Mr. America into the ropes. Hollywood Hogan hits
Mr. America with a kick. Hollywood Hogan whips Mr. America into the
ropes, but Mr. America reverses it. Hollywood Hogan takes him down with a
bodyslam. Hollywood Hogan nails him with a roundhouse right. Hollywood
Hogan goes for a roundhouse right, but Mr. America blocks it. Mr. America
goes for a Hotshot, but Hollywood Hogan counters it with a lariat.
Hollywood Hogan takes him down with a headbutt. Hollywood Hogan nails him
with a headbutt.]
DT: Mr. America is tiring out in there. He controlled this match early on
but from the looks of things, Hogan can go the distance and Mr. America
can't. Hogan let Mr. America use a lot of energy with all the moves that
Mr. America did.
PVB: Mr. America not lasting longer than Hogan? That's a laugh. The man
can go the distance and he's proven that.
[Hollywood Hogan whips Mr. America into the ropes. Mr. America hits
Hollywood Hogan with a clothesline. Mr. America executes an armbar
submission. Hollywood Hogan reaches the ropes after being trapped for 15
seconds. Mr. America takes him down with a double underhook piledriver.]
DT: Mr. America uses a lot of variations of that piledriver. He's gone out
and studied the move to make it more effective.
PVB: That's a true technician in the ring. He knows everything about his
finisher.
[Mr. America catches him in a power bomb. Danny Davis counts: One, two,
kickout.]
DT: That power bomb didn't hold Hogan down.
[Mr. America executes an elbowsmash. Mr. America executes a fist to the
midsection. Mr. America goes for the Made in America, but Hollywood Hogan
counters it with a punch.]
PVB: ARGH!
DT: Hogan avoids the Made in America with a hard punch to the gut of Mr.
America.
[Hollywood Hogan nails him with a headbutt. Hollywood Hogan nails him
with a roundhouse right. Hollywood Hogan goes for a roundhouse right, but
Mr. America blocks it. Mr. America catches him in a dragon suplex.]
DT: Mr. America blocks that blow and catches Hogan's arms, locking him into a
full nelson, and taking him over into a dragon suplex!
[Danny Davis counts: One, kickout.]
PVB: Danny Davis with a slow count for Mr. America.
DT: Hogan kicks out and I think Hogan's weight made that dragon suplex hard
for Mr. America to execute.
[Mr. America whips Hollywood Hogan into the turnbuckle. Mr. America takes
him down with a chop. Mr. America executes a chop. Mr. America executes
a chop.]
PVB: Whoooo! Now that's how you do a chop!
[Mr. America goes for a flying forearm, but Hollywood Hogan counters it
with a duck-down move. Hollywood Hogan nails him with a chop. Hollywood
Hogan runs into the ropes. Mr. America misses with a clothesline. Mr.
America gives him a flying forearm, but Hollywood Hogan doesn't sell it at
all. Mr. America nails him with a flying forearm.]
DT: The first flying forearm had no effect on Hogan, but the second one did.
[Danny Davis counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
PVB: Count of two and it's a slow count again.
DT: Hogan gets his shoulder up!
[Hollywood Hogan goes for a bodyslam, but Mr. America counters it with
a small package.]
DT: Hogan wrapped up again into that small package!
[Danny Davis counts: One, two, three.]
PVB: This time it does the job!
DT: Mr. America with a win here tonight over one of the biggest names in
wrestling!
JH: The winner of the match is Mr. America!
[The crowd is going nuts as Mr. America gets up and kicks Hogan in the stomach.]
DT: Mr. America isn't done here tonight!
[He nails Hogan with the Made in America. Mr. America tosses HOgan to the
outside of the ring and executes the Made in America onto the arena floor.
He sets up a table and puts Hogan on it. Mr. America climbs to the top
buckle and sends Hogan through the table with a flying legdrop. Mr.
America gets back to his feet and grabs the WCW/nWo world title. He whips
Hogan with it as the crowd starts up a, "U.S.A." chant. Mr. America grabs
the house mic.]
MA: Has been...consider that your pink slip from the wrestling world! I hope
you got a lot of roids Captain! You're gonna need 'em for the pain!
PVB: Ouch, the verbal ability of Mr. America is just so awesome!
[Mr. America raises his arms in the air. He raises the OWA TV title as
it's handed to him. Mr. America puts the OWA TV title onto the ring apron
and picks up the WCW/nWo World title. He smashes it agains the ring post
until the belt dents. Mr. America drops the belt onto Hogan and spits on
him. He picks the mic up one more time.]
MA: That's for making wrestling a disgrace!
PVB: Amen!
[Mr. America drops and elbow onto Hogan. He gets back to his feet.]
MA: That was for the hell of it!
[The crowd pops as Mr. America grabs the OWA TV title and walks backstage.]
DT: Mr. America finally leaves as some officals come down and help Hogan up.
We've got to turn the booth back over to the other guys.
PVB: Well, you'll see me with Bacon.
DT: You'll also see us on the SWF Ringside weekly report. Until then, for
Paul VonBraun and myself, have a good night.
[As the camera follows the two men backstage a brawl is seen breaking out. Doug Bacon and Phoenix have stormed out of the dressing room and are joining the fight. Mr. America smashes Syxx over the head with his TV title and throws him against a wall. Kevin Nash sets up Retribution for his Jack-Knife but he is hit from behind with a chain and Retribution hits him with a Diamond Cutter and follows it up with the PayBack. Randy Savage is pounding away at Tank and Tank starts to fight back, they are exchanging blows. Doug Bacon drops Trillionaire Ted with a beer bottle to the back of the head and begins to stomp him continually. Phoenix dives into the fray and ends up nailing Vince with the Razzle Dazzle. Officials including Commissioner Yvette run in to try to break up the scrum, Yvette gets hit with a Kevin Nash boot and flies backwards into a wall while Eric Bishoff sneaks away and the camera follows him onto the set. The nWo theme starts to play again.]
RJ: Here they come.... Wait, it's just Bishoff!
TR: The rest of them are tied up with the Underground backstage, Bishoff has to fight for himself. Boy is this gonna be sweat.
RJ: Neither Vince McMahon or Eric Bishoff...
TR: Derek Pissoff.
RJ: I'm not even going to bother with you anymore. Neither of those men has prior wrestling experience so this should be quite the experience for them, while Ron Yvette is a veteran of the ring.
TR: So, that's the whole point, them two are gonna get what's coming to 'em!
JH: This is an elimination style Triangle Match. First, the president of the New World Order... Eric Bishoff!
[Bishoff walks to the ring being booed viciously. "Bishoff sucks" chants start up in the crowd and get louder and louder. He starts to bow to the crowd and the chants become even more loud and things are being thrown at Eric Bishoff as he steps in the ring.]
TR: Well he chose to involve himself in the angle, he should be ready for the abuse.
RJ: I think he was counting on it so he could feed his ego and prove how good he was at being hated.
["The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson starts to play]
JH: Second, the play by play announcer for Monday Night Raw, being led to the ring by Sunny, Vince McMahon!
[Sunny, wearing her usual non-clothes, leads Vince McMahon through the crowd gathering cheers and hoots. Vince has a big self assured look because he thinks they're cheering for him. He starts yelling "Lets get RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!! As he gets into the ring.]
TR: Even you're more comprehensible then McMahon, what the hell is that anyway, some hole in this throat?
RJ: Look at Vince and Eric stare each other down. This should be a fight, there is legitimate hate between the two of them. No wrestling skills on either side. McMahon is the bigger man and should be able to get the advantage on the crafty Bishoff. Now our last competitor.
JH: and Finally, the commissioner of the Supreme Wrestling Federation, former wrestling superstar and master of the Yvette Deathlock... Ron Yvette!
["Birdman" by Our Lady Peace plays as Ron Yvette walks slowly to the ring from backstage to a decent pop from the crowd.]
RJ: He'll have to earn the fans respect by putting out a good product, we all know he can do it. He definitely has the advantage in the ring with these two men.
JH: Finally, to announce our special guest referee... Let's Get Extreme! [loud pop] here is Paul E. Dangerously!
[Paul E. walks out to a thunderous ovation and chants of "ECW!" he gets in the ring and calls for the bell]
RJ: Paul E. Dangerously here to enforce the rules.
TR: What rules? There aren't any where he comes from.
RJ: Perfect for this match.
JH: Before I forget, guess who's joining the commentating team ladies and gentlemen.. the one, the only... Captain Canuck!
[The crowd pops as Captain Canuck walks out waiving his Canadian flag, he sits down at the announcer's table]
RJ: Well this day has just been full of surprises, here is the legend Captain Canuck! First the nWo shows up, then the Underground, then Paul E., and now the Captain. This has certainly been an eventful night!
CC: Glad to be here Robert, I've got to keep Tom here in line!
[The Bell rings]
They lock up.
Eric Bishoff nails him with a roundhouse right.
The audience laughs]
TR: He didn't even budge! Ha! This guy is a joke!
RJ: Did you think otherwise?
CC: Well he doesn't have wrestling training or anything, so you can't expect too much.
[Eric Bishoff goes for a facerake, but Ron Yvette blocks it.
Ron Yvette goes for an atomic drop, but Eric Bishoff counters it with
a bulldog headlock.
Eric Bishoff executes a stomp.
Eric Bishoff whips Ron Yvette into the ropes, but Ron Yvette reverses it.
Eric Bishoff hits Ron Yvette with a kick.
Eric Bishoff nails him with a facerake.
Eric Bishoff whips Ron Yvette into the ropes.
Eric Bishoff hits Ron Yvette with an elbow.
Chants of "Bishoff Sucks" start again]
RJ: Eric Bishoff just can't take Ron Yvette down, he's all over him and he can't take the legend down!
CC: He's watched wrestling long enough, he should have picked up something. Mr. Bishoff is much younger then Mr. Yvette.
[Eric Bishoff takes him down with a side suplex.]
TR: A wrestling move! My god!
RJ: Eric Bishoff is showing some skill, who would have ever imagined!
[Eric Bishoff nails him with an elbowdrop.
Eric Bishoff whips Ron Yvette into the turnbuckle, but Ron Yvette reverses it.
Eric Bishoff comes back and rocks Ron Yvette with a kick to the midsection.
The crowd gasps]
RJ: Oh no! A vicious kick to the midsection has disabled Yvette.
CC: These sort of cheap tactics really bother me.
[Eric Bishoff tags out to Vince McMahon.]
TR: He comes Mr. Ego!
[Vince McMahon takes him down with a vertical suplex.
Vince McMahon executes an inverted atomic drop.
Vince McMahon takes him down with a dropkick.
Vince McMahon takes him down with a bodyslam.]
RJ: Vince McMahon is a ball of fire! He's all over Yvette! A suplex, an atomic drop, a dropkick and a bodyslam! He has more moves then Hogan!
TR: Yvette better do something soon to prove himself, or is McMahon's head just weighing him down?
CC: Give me a break.
[Vince McMahon goes for a hiptoss, but Ron Yvette counters it with a backslide.
Paul E. Dangerously counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: Backslide and a two count, Yvette is looking to turn things around!
[Ron Yvette whips Vince McMahon into the ropes.
Ron Yvette hits Vince McMahon with a clothesline.
Ron Yvette executes a Gorilla Press.]
RJ: Holy cow, he lifts Vince McMahon over his head and drops him to the canvas! Great power showed by the SWF commissioner!
[Ron Yvette nails him with a vertical suplex.
Ron Yvette takes him down with a rolling kick.
Ron Yvette tags out to Eric Bishoff.
The crowd goes crazy in anticipation]
RJ: Here we go! Vince McMahon one on one with Eric Bishoff. We've all been waiting for this....
TR: Hair pulling, face scratching cat fight! Wooohooo!
[Vince McMahon takes him down with a kick to the midsection.
Vince McMahon tags out to Ron Yvette.]
CC: That was dispicable!
TR: Kick and run! Bishoff's boys are in another place right now and McMahon high tails it out of there. No big surprise.
[Ron Yvette whips Eric Bishoff into the ropes, but Eric Bishoff reverses it.
Eric Bishoff hits Ron Yvette with a clothesline.
Eric Bishoff whips Ron Yvette into the ropes, but Ron Yvette reverses it.
Ron Yvette nails him with a powerslam.]
RJ: What a powerslam, and a cover.
[Paul E. Dangerously counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: Paul E. counts two.
[Ron Yvette goes for a reverse neckbreaker, but Eric Bishoff blocks it.
Eric Bishoff runs into the ropes.
Ron Yvette goes for a headlock takedown, but Eric Bishoff counters it with
a back suplex.
Eric Bishoff executes a ropeburn.
Eric Bishoff is going for the pin.]
TR: He executes a ropeburn and tries to pin him. Give me a break, he couldn't pin my 5 year old cousin after a ropeburn.
CC: Well wait and see Tom.
[Paul E. Dangerously counts: One, kickout.]
TR: Ha! Truly pathetic! Ron threw Bishoff ten feat in the air!
[Eric Bishoff executes a ropeburn.
Eric Bishoff goes for a choke against the ropes, but Ron Yvette blocks it.
Ron Yvette places Eric Bishoff on the turnbuckle.]
RJ: To the top turnbuckle Eric Bishoff goes.
TR: Oh yeah!
[Ron Yvette executes a top-rope DDT.]
TR: Fried Bacon! He took a page out of his wrestler's book! I love it, Ron Yvette is Underground!
CC: Hardly, he's doing what he has to do to win. I've known Ron for a long time, he's a great guy, and he'll do a good and fair job with the SWF. I'm sure it'll be an exciting and action packed league with Ron at the helm.
TR: Canuck the walking ad.
[Paul E. Dangerously counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: Only two, Bishoff is a resiliant little bugger.
[Ron Yvette runs into the ropes.
Eric Bishoff misses with a clothesline.
Eric Bishoff misses with an elbow.
Ron Yvette misses with an elbow.]
TR: Damn senile oatbran munchers, hit a damn move!
[Eric Bishoff hits Ron Yvette with a clothesline.]
TR: Thank you.
[Eric Bishoff executes a Hotshot.
Eric Bishoff goes for a headbutt, but Ron Yvette blocks it.
Ron Yvette nails him with a dropkick.
Ron Yvette attemps to place Eric Bishoff on the turnbuckle, but Eric Bishoff
blocks it.
Ron Yvette nails him with a rolling kick.
Ron Yvette takes him down with a backbreaker.
Ron Yvette takes him down with a faceslam.
Ron Yvette throws Eric Bishoff out of the ring.
Ron Yvette goes through the ropes.]
TR: Oh yeah, the action spills to the outside. Put him through a table!!
CC: Without his pack of goons Bishoff won't be at home on the outside of the ring, that's for sure!
TR: Hozer!
RJ: Ron follows Eric Bishoff to the outside after hitting him with move after move. You have to wonder how much the little guy can take.
[They're brawling inside the ring area.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Ron Yvette throws Eric Bishoff back into the ring.]
CC: Ron didn't want to injure him, he has compassion, he's a good guy, he's a...
TR: monstrous, gigantic moron! Break Bishoff in two! This is what this match is about damn it.
[Ron Yvette takes him down with a bodyslam.
Ron Yvette whips Eric Bishoff into the ropes.
Eric Bishoff goes for a roundhouse right, but Ron Yvette blocks it.
Ron Yvette takes him down with a bulldog headlock.
Ron Yvette runs into the ropes.
Eric Bishoff goes for a roundhouse right, but Ron Yvette blocks it.
Ron Yvette executes a powerslam.]
RJ: Huge powerslam! Bishoff hit the mat hard.
[Paul E. Dangerously counts: One, kickout.]
TR: One! How weak is Yvette that he can't get more then one on Bishoff?
[Kevin Nash, Randy Savage, and Syxx walk out from backstage and the crowd starts to really boo.]
RJ: The police carted the Underground away and now the nWo is back, but not at full force. The story of this match has just changed.
[More boos follow as Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker make an appearance, they run and brawl with Nash and Syxx while Savage moves towards the ring.]
RJ: Michaels and The Undertaker caught Nash and Syxx but Savage got away, what's going to happen now!
[Eric Bishoff goes for a roundhouse right, but Ron Yvette blocks it.
Ron Yvette throws Eric Bishoff out of the ring.]
RJ: Don't follow him out Ron, you don't know what you're getting yourself into!
TR: Ah Savage and Yvette are close to the same age.
RJ: Ron isn't that old!
[the both laugh]
CC: Why mock a wrestling legend, he may be on the wrong path now but he's done so much.
RJ and TR: Shut up Canuck!
[Ron Yvette goes through the ropes.
Randy Savage comes from behind and his Ron Yvette with the ring bell.]
RJ: Oh no! Oh no! Yvette goes down like a ton of bricks as Savage clocks him with that ring bell!
[Jagged Edge runs out to the surprising support of the Fans.]
RJ: It's Jagged Edge! It's Jagged Edge come to save his boss!
[Jagged Edge dumps Randy Savage over the guard-rail and slaps on the Shattered Dreams.]
TR: To dream land goes the Metamusil Man! I like this Edge guy more and more every time I see him! This rocks!
[Eric Bishoff nails him with a side suplex.
Eric Bishoff throws Ron Yvette back into the ring.
Ron Yvette nails him with a piledriver.
Ron Yvette nails him with a flying cross body press.]
RJ: Ron catches Bishoff as he returns to the ring, can he keep him down!
[Paul E. Dangerously counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: No, Bishoff won't stay down!
[Ron Yvette tags out to Vince McMahon.
Crowd pops again]
TR: Uh Oh, now McMahon has to fight him! This is gonna be interesting.
RJ: It's the match of the century.
CC: Why are we a part of this embarrassment to wrestling? Why?
[Vince McMahon goes for a swinging neckbreaker, but Eric Bishoff
counters it with a side suplex.
Eric Bishoff whips Vince McMahon into the ropes.
Vince McMahon nails him with a hiptoss.
Vince McMahon whips Eric Bishoff into the ropes.
Eric Bishoff hits Vince McMahon with an elbow.]
RJ: Back and forth! Back and forth! No one gets the advantage. This one could go all night.
TR: Not if there's a god it won't.
CC: You and you're sick anti-religious comments, this is despicable. I can't believe this! How could Ron let this happen?
[Eric Bishoff runs into the ropes.
Eric Bishoff hits Vince McMahon with a clothesline.
Eric Bishoff runs into the ropes.
Vince McMahon takes him down with a flying clothesline.]
RJ: Each man rocks the other with super clotheslines, but McMahon's from the top rope! Bishoff just snaps back up! They are both pumping full of adrenaline right now!
TR: That's not all they're full of!
[Eric Bishoff takes him down with a snap mare.
Eric Bishoff tags out to Ron Yvette.]
RJ: Bishoff gets out while he's on top.
TR: Not a bad idea. That was as I said it would be, just a cat fight.
CC: How come Mr. Bishoff isn't leaving the ring? This just isn't right.
[Ron Yvette places Vince McMahon on the turnbuckle.]
TR: It's gonna happen to ego #2!
[Ron Yvette takes him down with a top-rope DDT.]
TR: McMahon gets fried! [he burps] Damn right!
[Paul E. Dangerously counts: One, two, kickout.
Ron Yvette throws Vince McMahon out of the ring.
Ron Yvette goes through the ropes.]
RJ: To the outside we go, we've seen a fair share of outside the ring action tonight!
[They're brawling inside the ring area.
Ron Yvette knocks Vince McMahon into the ringsteps.
Ron Yvette executes a waistlock suplex.
Ron Yvette knocks Vince McMahon into the ringpost.
Ron Yvette knocks Vince McMahon into the ringpost.
Huge pop]
RJ: Ron Yvette is knocking the stuffing out of the WWF's play by play man!
TR: Booker, owner...
RJ: Fine, get sued. As I was saying, he's using the outside to his advantage.
TR: Like he needed it! But it's fun to watch!
[Ron Yvette goes for a dropkick, but Vince McMahon counters it with a side step.
Vince McMahon takes him down with a jumping neck snap.
Vince McMahon goes for a kneedrop, but Ron Yvette counters it with a roll away.
Ron Yvette knocks Vince McMahon into the ringsteps.
Ron Yvette knocks Vince McMahon into the ringsteps.
Ron Yvette whips Vince McMahon into the guardrail.
More cheering.]
TR: Yes! Yes! Violence! Yeah!
RJ: Vince McMahon is taking a vicious pounding!
[Ron Yvette executes a powerslam.]
RJ: Another huge powerslam! How much more can one man take!
[Ron Yvette throws Vince McMahon back into the ring.
Ron Yvette executes the Yvette Death Lock.]
RJ: There it is! The Yvette Death Lock is locked on, can Vince withstand the pain?
TR: It's just a matter of ti..
[Vince McMahon submits immediately.]
TR: Well that didn't take long.
RJ: After taking a pounding Vince McMahon is gone! He survives without getting pinned by Eric Bishoff, both men save face.
[Vince gives an evil glare to Kevin Nash who is chatting with Shawn Michaels, Vince calls Shawn and the Undertaker and they walk out of the arena.]
JH: Vince McMahon has been eliminated.
[The crowd cheers and chants "Vince is Gay!"]
CC: Oh now that's appropriate! Disgusting.
RJ: There is a bad side to this, now Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker are gone, Jagged Edge is occupied with Savage. Nash and Syxx are free to take care of Ron Yvette! The way Paul E. is going to call it this match could get crazy and Yvette could get robbed! Who will enforce justice?!
[The crowd goes crazy as the Sandman appears in the crowd with his Cane]
RJ: The Sandman!
TR: You mean the guy who Bacon beat in 1 minute? Hooray, whoopie! If I was Ron I'd feel about 1/100 more safe right now.
[Eric Bishoff goes for a back suplex, but Ron Yvette counters it with
a cross-body block.
Paul E. Dangerously counts: One, two, kickout.
Ron Yvette takes him down with a Gorilla Press.
Ron Yvette throws Eric Bishoff out of the ring.]
RJ: No Ron! Don't go Ron!
CC: Those nasty savages are going to ruin this fine wrestling match, oh please don't let that happen! I can't that happen!
TR: That moron isn't going to go through the ropes again!?
[Ron Yvette goes through the ropes.]
TR: Well he asked for it!
[Kevin Nash grabs a steel chair.]
RJ: Oh no! He's not going to hit poor Ron with that chair is he?
[Captain Canuck stands up]
TR: Where in the hell do you think you're going?!
[Kevin Nash is about to hit Ron Yvette over the head with a chair]
RJ: Oh no!
[The Sandman nails Kevin Nash in the back of the head with his cane and continues to beat him with the cane as the crowd goes completely crazy. He then crushes a beer can on his head and runs around like a fool]
TR: Moron!
RJ: The Sandman saves Ron Yvette! Now what exactly is he doing? Oh well.
[Eric Bishoff takes him down with a kick to the midsection.
Syxx comes from behind and is about to hit Ron Yvette with the WCW Cruiserweight Title.]
RJ: This won't end!
[Captain Canuck clotheslines Syxx and he falls into the ringpost. The crowd pops as Canuck throws Syxx into the ring and hits him with a flying ledrop]
TR: This is out of control Jones! This is out of control!
[Eric Bishoff goes for a back suplex, but Ron Yvette blocks it.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Ron Yvette throws Eric Bishoff back into the ring.
Ron Yvette executes a dropkick.
Kevin Nash enters the ring and hits Ron Yvette with a chair.]
RJ: Oh no, they can't stop them all!
[Before Kevin Nash connects, Ron Yvette moves out of the way.
Kevin Nash hits Eric Bishoff.
The crowd pops big time]
RJ: He hit Bishoff! Kevin Nash clobbered his boss!
[Ron Yvette throws Kevin Nash over the top rope.]
TR: and he tosses the Trash!
[Ron Yvette executes a backbreaker.
Ron Yvette executes the Yvette Death Lock.
Eric Bishoff submits immediately.
Another huge pop from the crowd]
RJ: He got him!
RJ: It's over! Ron Yvette has done it! Through all that adversity he beat both Vince McMahon and Eric Bishoff. Hey, who's that?
[A man walks out and starts clubbing nWo members forcing them towards the exit]
RJ: It's the Vigilante! He's come to enforce justice!
TR: A little late don't you think?
[The Vigilante directs the nWo out of the studio and hits Eric Bishoff in the back of the head.]
JH: The winner of this match, and the greatest fed head of them all...
[Paul E. Dangerously clobbers Ron Yvette]
RJ: What was that! What was that!
TR: Paul E. isn't going to let Yvette lay claim to the title of top fed head without a fed.
RJ: But Vince is a Play by Play guy.
TR: Shut up!
[Paul E. Dangerously nails him with a piledriver.
The Sandman hands Paul E. Dangerously is handed the ring bell.
Paul E. Dangerously hits him with the ring bell.
The crowd gasps
They're brawling on the stage.
Dione Warwick runs away screaming again.
Someone throws Coke on her.]
CC: Poor Dione, this is awful.
TR: Oh, you're back. That's wrestling at it's best, lets see what Ron's got.
CC: Oh come on, Paul E. may be a smart man but he is no wrestler.
[Paul E. Dangerously executes an elbowdrop.
Paul E. Dangerously executes the Flying Buttdrop on the concrete floor
and goes for the pin.]
TR: Those look like wrestling moves.
RJ: He's got Ron Yvette down after surprising him with this attack, who's going to count by the way?
[Tim White runs in from backstage]
TR: I hope he doesn't expect overtime.
[Tim White counts: One, two, thr... kickout.]
RJ: So close! Paul E. almost had the win there.
CC: How can this count? He blind sided Ron in a non-scheduled attack and all of a sudden Paul E. deserves some credit?
[They're brawling on the stairs.
The fans are all standing and cheering
Ron Yvette takes him down with a dropkick.]
RJ: What a dropkick! And while on the stairs!
TR: Hmm, Yvette may have something left.
[They're brawling in mid-arena.
Ron Yvette takes him down with a waistlock suplex.]
RJ: Great move!
[Tim White counts: One, two, three.
The crowd pops for Ron Yvette as he lifts his arms in the air]
RJ: He got him! He got him! Ron Yvette has beaten 3 different men in one night all at the same time! This is a fantastic display of athleticism.
[The Sandman is sneaking up on Ron Yvette with the cane]
RJ: First he saves him and now this!
[Banjo music is heard playing as a rope falls from the ceiling and a man slides down.
Big crowd pop]
RJ: It's Moon Dog Gator! Out of no where!
CC: Give me a break! This is a disgrace!
[Moon Dog Gator clobbers the Sandman in the back of the head, he then steals the cane and starts to pound him with it. Ron Yvette calls him off and grabs the mic.]
Ron Yvette: It's over, now get out of here before I call out the Vigilante!
[Paul E. and the Sandman walk away]
RY: I hope you all had a great time tonight. Stay tuned for more of the SWF. Don't forget you can find us at http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Alley/7415/swf.html
Thank you and goodnight!
["Superunknown" by Soundgarden plays as the picture fades.]
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