[The SWF logo fills the screen.]
Voice: The Supreme Wrestling Federation.
[Two cords link and the HBO sig appears in the middle of the screen.]
Voice: On HBO.
[The scene is in a valley in Ireland... the rain has just stopped pouring and
a rainbow has appeared. Jagged, Edge, Zodiac, War Machine, Phoenix, Zac,
Virgo, the Reaper and Tuk Tuk the Eskimo all run on to the screen. They
point to the end of the rainbow and start to run as the theme from
"2001 A Space Odyssey" plays. As they get to the end of the Rainbow the see
a pot of gold. They all eye each other and start to creep towards the gold...
when all of a sudden Captain Canuck appears dressed in a Leprechaun's costume
and grabs the gold from under their noses.]
Canuck: Ah, ah, ah... you'll have to win your gold in Caesar's Palace... now
off with ya'!
[The wrestlers look at each other and they run after Captain Canuck who takes
off at full speed. The Pot of Gold logo then smashes into the screen and the
picture has now switched to inside Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas and a pan of
the electric crowd. Robert Jones' voice can be heard throughout the entire
arena.]
RJ: Welcome to Supreme Wrestling Federation's Pot of Gold!
[loud crowd pop.]
RJ: Who wants to see the first ever International Champion crowned?
[loud crowd pop]
RJ: Who wants to see the first ever American Champion crowned?
[louder crowd pop.]
RJ: and who wants to see a Title vs. Title match with the World and Tough
Man titles on the line?
[loudest crowd pop.]
RJ: than let's do it! Here is the guest ring announcer... Rod Roddy!
[The theme from the "Price is Right" plays as Rod Roddy slowly comes down the
aisle. He ain't the slimmest man on earth.]
RR: Hello fans!
[loud pop, this crowd is into it!]
RR: Our first match is the first semi-final in the American Title Tournament!
[pop]
RR: Introducing first. Being led to the ring by Kim Kelly...
["Jagged Little Pill" by Alanis Morrisette stars to play as the fans start to
boo.]
RR: Weighing in at 278 pounds. Here is the first ever SWF World Champion
and master of the Shattered Dreams.... Jagged Edge, come on down!!!
[The lovely Kim Kelly in a tight leather dress leads the cocky Jagged Edge
out from behind the curtains. It is now we notice a rainbow over the curtain.
Jagged Edge struts to the ring and flexes his muscles the whole way. The fans
greet him with massive booing as he steps into the ring.]
RJ: Hello fans and welcome to Pot of Gold. Along with me today is my
companion in crime Tom Rogers...
TR: What you do in your spare time is your business, not mine.
RJ: and of course the World famous Captain Canuck.
CC: Hello Roger, glad to be here at this classy event. Is this crowd pumped
tonight or what?
RJ: They sure are and they aren't being very kind to the former World Champion
Jagged Edge.
CC: Well the Jagged one has been on a little bit of a slump since losing his
title to Doug Bacon and I think he's actually having some mental problems in
his game instead of actual skill struggles. The DQ against Bacon in his
World Title re-match for example.
TR: Maybe so, but he's taken a bit of time off lately and he's back at 100%.
This guy loves SWF major events and he loves tournament.
CC: Can't argue with that.
TR: Plus his fiancee is hot!
CC: and yours is electric.
TR: Why thank you... hey! What happened to your moral values!?
CC: I'm allowed to tell a joke.
TR: No!
RJ: Jagged Edge is still putting on a posing display in the ring so lets run
down who these two men beat to get here.
CC: Jagged Edge took on a defeated Lethal by disqualification when Deadly hit
Edge in the head with a baseball bat. Since than Lethal and the Jagged one
have developed some sort of partnership from what I've seen. It's amazing how
matches can breed mutual respect.
RJ: Lets also not forget about Lethal amazingly going through many top
SWF Competitors to become the second SWF Tough Man Champion in history
and getting a shot at Doug Bacon tonight!
TR: Yup, and Mr. Retirement Home himself, Zodiac, beat Sandman clean with
his Equinox. I don't know what's up with Sandman, he can't damn well win a
match to save his life.
RJ: OK, I think we're ready to bring Zodiac out, if you're not accustomed
to loud noise you'd better cover your ears because here comes the legend.
[Lethal emerges from behind the curtains and makes his way to the ring. The
fans immediately start booing. He's of course wearing his favourite new pants
holder. Lethal shakes hands with Jagged Edge and stands
with Kim Kelly in his corner.]
RJ: It's Lethal!
CC: What's he doing here?
RJ: I assume to watch Jagged Edge's back or something.
TR: No! Look! He's moving in on his woman!
[Rod Roddy gets back in the ring.]
RR: His opponent...
[The opening part of "Top of the World" by Van Halen rips through the arena
and the fans start to cheer.]
JH: Hailing from Knoxville, Tennessee. Weighing in at 296lbs. He is
accompanied to the ring by Diamond! Here is the master of the Eqinox
and co-holder of the SWF World Tag Team Titles... Zodiac, come on down!!!
[The lovely Diamond leads Zodiac to the ring and when Zodiac steps through
the curtains the fans immediately cheer. It is loud, but it's not the same
kind of response he got before he and War Machine brutally attacked fan
favourites at the time, Bones Douglas and Damien Grundy. He is still very
much a fan favourite though. He's wearing his half of the tag belts around
his waist.]
RJ: Wouldn't it be awesome to see both Zodiac and War Machine advance
to the finals of this tournament and face off in a ladder match for the American
Belt. What a match it would be.
TR: Not bloody likely. First of all Jagged Edge is a former champion
and second of all Phoenix is out for revenge as he didn't get to win the Tag
Straps because his turncoat partner Dr. Hate turned on him and high tailed it
outta here. The fireballer will take care of Oat Bran eater #2 and the Edgeman
will take care of #1 right now!
CC: Do I have to keep mentioning Zodiac and War Machine are in their mid-20s?
[The Bell Rings]
RJ: and now action on the way!
[They lock up.
Zodiac runs into the ropes.
Kim Kelly trips Zodiac.
Superman warns Kim Kelly.]
RJ: Already we're seeing cheat tactics from the Jagged Edge camp.
TR: It's called playing smart.
CC: What do you think cost Edge his World Title Match with Bacon?
Well?
[Zodiac catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
There is no referee to count.]
RJ: Big Belly-to-Belly and Superman is dealing with Kim Kelly!
TR: First of all that's smart tactics, second of all it's not like Zodiac
would get Jagged Edge with a Belly-to-Belly seconds into the match.
[Superman is back on the job.
Zodiac catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Superman counts: One, two, KICKOUT.]
CC: Crunch!
RJ: This time Superman counts, and Jagged Edge blasts out of the pin
with authority and a half!
[Jagged Edge runs into the ropes.
Zodiac goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but Jagged Edge counters it with
a duck-down move.
Jagged Edge runs into the ropes.
Jagged Edge misses with a clothesline.
Zodiac misses with a clothesline.
Jagged Edge hits Zodiac with a backdrop.]
RJ: What action, these two men are flying all over the ring and Jagged Edge
connects with a big time backdrop!
TR: Look at those brittle bones fly!
[Jagged Edge catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Superman counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
RJ: Zodiac won't stay down there either.
CC: These two men are both great athletes, I'm looking
forward to one hell of a match.
[Jagged Edge whips Zodiac into the ropes.
Jagged Edge takes him down with a roundhouse right.
Jagged Edge goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Zodiac blocks it.]
TR: You're right Canuck. For once. Question though Captain,
what's with these rumours about you and the Equalizer having
some sort of connection?
RJ: Yes, accusations have been made Mr. Canuck. Although it seems
completely out of character.
[Zodiac runs into the ropes.
Jagged Edge hits Zodiac with a backdrop.
Zodiac falls out of the ring.
The crowd gasps as Zodiac crashes down with a monstrous thud.]
RJ: Oh No! What elevation! Zodiac flew like a bird over that top
rope after Jagged Edge just muscled him into the air with that
backdrop!
TR: Am I the only one who heard him yelling "help, I've fallen
and I can't get up!"
CC: Give it a rest.
[Superman counts: one, two, three, four]
TR: OK, match is over, send him back to the old folks home.
So Canuck, would you answer our question already?
CC: I think it's pretty obvious Tom.
TR: How's that? You took off and guess who showed up,
Mr. Equalizer. Well I'll be a mokey's ass. We can say that on Pay Per View!
[five, six]
RJ: It doesn't mean you should. Now Zodiac is beginning to get back to
his feet. Perhaps this has been a good re-grouping time for him.
[Zodiac reenters the ring.
Jagged Edge executes a powerslam.
Superman counts: One, kickout.
Jagged Edge complains about a slow count.]
TR: How's that for re-grouping!?
CC: It won't help.
RJ: Now Jagged Edge is complaining about a slow count here. We've
seen it time and time again. You have to watch you back!
[Zodiac catches him in an inside cradle.
Superman counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: and Zodiac almost gets him!
TR: Phew. OK, now, Canuck...
CC: Simple, I'm not. There are lots of reasons to say I'm not. First
though, I want to know who could possibly think I'm the Equalizer?
Where'd you hear this? Some unreliable source like ERR?
RJ: Actually, due to the downright lazyness of the ERR handler it
took a leave of absence.
CC: We've got to get a better work ethic.
RJ: Anyway, it's all over the internet.
[Zodiac executes a backdrop driver.
Zodiac nails him with a front-layout superplex.
Zodiac is going for the pin.
Superman counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: Jagged Edge kicks out there.
TR: Would you stop pretending like you know something about the
Internet, Jones. You're about as clueless as Canuck is when he's in
bed with is wife.
CC: Watch it. I may tolerate lots of things, but that's where I draw
the line.
[Zodiac goes for a Victory Roll, but Jagged Edge blocks it.]
TR: OK, I'll stick to jokes about your kid's slow toilet training.
RJ: That just isn't funny. It's classless.
[Jagged Edge nails him with the Doctor Bomb.
Superman counts: One, two, kickout.
Jagged Edge executes a spinning power bomb.
Superman counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
RJ: Look at Zodiac's resiliency! Two thunderous powerbombs
and he's still getting out of the pins. This man can go folks.
TR: I wouldn't brag too much about Zodiac when he's being used
as a beating bag by the former World Champion.
[Jagged Edge nails him with a DDT.
Jagged Edge catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Superman counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
TR: Look at this! Jagged Edge is tearing Zodiac a new asshole!
RJ: Damn it Tom would you stop trying to get over by swearing! I
pay you to announce not sell t-shirts for yourself.
CC: What... uh... Robert... did you just?
TR: He just shooted on me! You damn well shooted on me!
[awkward silence.]
CC: Uh.. back to the action!
[Jagged Edge tries to place Zodiac on the top rope, Zodiac blocks it.
Zodiac throws Jagged Edge out of the ring.
Zodiac goes through the ropes.]
CC: Zodiac takes the match to the outside now hoping maybe he
can turn it around there. I'm not sure that's best as it's familiar
territory to the Falls Count Anywhere superstar Jagged Edge.
[Jagged Edge whips Zodiac into the guardrail.
They're brawling on the floor.]
CC: There, you see, immediately Edge uses his surroundings to
pound on Zodiac. The technical wrestling expert that he is, Zodiac should
have kept the match on the inside.
[Jagged Edge goes for a German suplex, but Zodiac counters it with an
elbowsmash.
Zodiac reenters the ring.
Jagged Edge follows him back in.]
CC: That was smart there. Zodiac stopped Edge's limited momentum and stepped
right back into the ring where he's much better off. He now forces Edge to
follow
him.
[Zodiac takes him down with a fist to the midsection.
Zodiac goes for the Equinox, but Jagged Edge counters it with a clothesline.]
CC: Zodiac goes for it... and oh wow! Jagged Edge just absolutely tore Zodiac's
head off with that devastating clothesline! Uh.. you guys OK now?
[Jagged Edge executes a Tombstone.
Jagged Edge flexes to the crowd.]
RJ: We're back after our little... uh... audio problem. Anyway, Jagged Edge
is still in full control of this match up. I guess now he thinks he has time to
show off his physique.
TR: Why not, the prune man is as dead as he'll be if he doesn't take his pills
every day.
RJ: Now Edge is back after Zodiac.
[Jagged Edge whips Zodiac into the ropes, but Zodiac reverses it.
Zodiac executes a fist to the midsection.]
TR: Hey, isn't that the setup...
[Zodiac executes the Equinox and goes for the pin.
Big ass crowd pop.]
RJ: EQUINOX! EQUNIOX!
TR: [mumbling] this ain't a porn, so quit havin' an orgasm...
CC: WHAT!?!?
RJ: He nailed it folks! Zodiac has hit the Equinox!
[Superman counts: One, two]
RJ: We may see TUA facing off after all...
[thr... kickout.]
CC: Huh?
RJ: No! No! Jagged Edge has kicked out of the Equinox!
TR: Ha! All that spazzing and Edge kicks out! *sarcastic* Wow, what a
great move. I'm so impressed.
[Zodiac runs into the ropes.
Jagged Edge hits Zodiac with an elbow.]
RJ: and down goes Zodiac. I can't believe Edge kicked out of the
Equinox.
CC: I can to be honest. He hadn't been punished enough yet and while
some people can be beat with the Equinox alone Jagged Edge isn't one
of them.
[Jagged Edge nails him with a piledriver.
Jagged Edge is going for the pin.
Superman counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
TR: He broke the old man's neck!
RJ: Now Zodiac shows he's still got something left as he kicks out of
the Pile-Driver. Can either man be put away.
[Jagged Edge goes for a powerslam, but Zodiac counters it with a lariat.]
RJ: Edge can't get the powerslam and down he goes!
CC: Look at Zodiac fly up to the top rope!
[Zodiac catches him in a flying legdrop.
Big pop.]
RJ: Wow!
CC: That was perfect, right on the mark!
[Superman counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
TR: But Jagged Edge kicked out Canuck! Look at that!
CC: Did I ever run Edge down? No. He's an impressive
athlete, no doubt about it.
[Jagged Edge sits up.]
RJ: Whoa... he just sat up like nothing happened!
[Zodiac goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but Jagged Edge counters it with
a duck-down move.
Jagged Edge catches him with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex.]
RJ: And just like that Edge has laid out Zodiac!
[Jagged Edge executes the Shattered Dreams.]
RJ: There's the Shattered Dreams!
CC: It's locked on! There's no where for Zodiac to go!
TR: Twist him a bit! You can break it!
[all of a sudden the entire arena goes dark. Someone can be heard screaming
like a little girl.]
RJ: Motormouth get a hold of yourself.
TR: Mamma?
CC: What's going on here?
[The sounds of someone choking can be heard.]
RJ: I think someone's choking, did we just have a power outage or something.
TR: Maybe it's the Reaper!? Hehehe.
RJ: Enough.
[The lights come back on and the mysterious Equalizer is in the ring choking
the life out of Jagged Edge with his whip. Zodiac is squirming around on the
ground trying to regain his energy.]
RJ: It's.. it's the Equalizer! He's attacking Jagged Edge!
TR: Get him off! Get him off!
CC: Sickening, why do matches always have to come to this. I would have
loved to see Zodiac try to get out of that amazing version of the sleeperhold.
[Superman starts pointing at the time keeper who rings the bell and the fans
erupt into boos.]
RJ: Oh no, not like this.
[Lethal storms the ring and attacks the Equalizer. He gets him with a shot to
the head with his baseball bat and sends him flying out of the ring. Officials
scurry to the ring and remove the Equalizer as Lethal stands over Jagged
Edge.]
RJ: I can't believe what we just saw. The Equalizer has ruined any chance
we got of seeing a fair ending to a great match.
[Zodiac slides out of the ring and starts to argue with Superman a bit.]
RR: The winner of the match by disqualification, and one step closer to the
prize... a new belt... Jagged Edge!
["Jagged Little Pill" starts up again and the fans react badly to the decision.]
RJ: The fans really wanted to see Zodiac come out on top of this one and
that won't happen tonight. Good effort by both men and I guess we'll never
know who the better man is thanks to Mr. Equalizer!
[Jagged Edge gets to his feet and Kim Kelly runs into the ring. Lethal lifts
Edge's and Kelly's hands up in victory and the booing increases. Lethal
calls for the house microphone.]
Lethal: Bacon! Phoenix! we haven't heard any answer yet... this man [points
at Jagged Edge] has agreed to team up with me to take you two apart but you
have been suspiciously quiet! tell me something... how come your back hasn't
snapped yet from all that ducking? anyway I want to assure you Jagged
Edge... I will do anything to destroy them... ANYTHING!
[Lethal throws down the microphone and the three exit.]
CC: A great match marred by a bad ending. However, we have seen the start
of a partnership that may create some competition between the crew of 2 man
alliances such as the Underground, TUA, the newly entered NEW and this
new partnership between Jagged Edge and Lethal.
TR: If we have so many partnerships why is there only one tag team? That
sucks. Lets go you damn morons and take the titles away. It won't exactly
be a chore or anything.
CC: Well I have to agree, we've got the possibility of seeing at least 3 more
tag teams if more NEW members enter the SWF who knows how many.
Right now the tag ranks are really depleated.
RJ: Right now we're ready for the second match in the American Title Semi-Final.
Lets send you to Rod Roddy so he can introduce the competitors in this highly
anticipated.
RR: This is the second match of the American Title Semi-Final and it is
scheduled
for one fall. Introducing first, from Nameless, Tennessee.
["Shitlist" by L7 starts to play and it is met by some exciting screams from
lady
fans, but mostly boos from the decidedly anti-Underground crowd.]
RR: Weighing in at 333 pounds, here is the master of the Razzle Dazzle...
Phoenix, come on down!!!
[Phoenix walks out and is greeted with of course boos. He just stands at
the entry wait to the ring, where flames shoot up into a huge wall. He
looks around at the women near the ring area, with a few of them going
crazy after seeing him. He looks at his opponent with a glare of
confidence. He then climbs into the ring.]
TR: There he is, Underground, ladies man, ass kicker... what else do you
want? This is the man that'll put on a great show with Doug at that Run
of Death if it ever happens.
RJ: Oh it will, the actual date has been pushed back though.
TR: Another champion vs. champion match 'cause Phoenix is coming out
of this with the American gold.
CC: I just want to remind the fans that the American Title can only be won
by those hailing from someone in America, or those that have passed
the citizenship test and become citizens of our country. Now don't go
looking for citizenships now... we'll match that.
["Shitlist" stops as Phoenix waits in the ring.]
RR: His opponent, from anywhere he damn well pleases... that felt good!
["Unholy Alliance" by the Scorpions plays as the fans tarts popping.]
RR: Here is one half of the current SWF Tag Team Champions and master
of the IFO... War Machine, come on down!!!
[War Machine walks straight to the ring receiving mostly a heroes welcome, but
he's not all sugar and spice so he's not getting 110% support. He, of course,
has his tag belt draped over his shoulder.]
RJ: Here comes War Machine. Former Live Action Wrestling everything. There
isn't a title there he hasn't won.
CC: War Machine is also riding a big hi going into tonight. He just beat
nemesis Bones Douglas on Triumphant Tuesday and I don't think he's pinned
since entering the SWF.
TR: Do your research Canuck, think isn't a good enough answer!
RJ: So, who will face Jagged Edge for a shot at the first ever American Title?
[The War Machine attacks Phoenix before the bell.
The War Machine takes him down with a belly-to-back superplex.]
RJ: War Machine isn't waiting for the official word! This match is underway
right now!
[The Bell Rings
The War Machine executes the Running Forearm Smash.
Georgio counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
RJ: Look at the speed! Not bad for an old relic, huh Tom?
CC: That's eh, Tom.
TR: Ah shaddup the both of yas.
[Phoenix goes for a kneebreaker, but The War Machine blocks it.
The War Machine goes for a small package, but Phoenix reverses it.
Georgio counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: They're rolling around on the canvas and Phoenix almost gets him!
CC: Of course there are ties between Phoenix and War Machine's
tag team partner Zodiac. The Compound connections to be exactly.
Although, there is no love lost in this match.
[Phoenix nails him with a jumping DDT.]
RJ: there certainly isn't, a mutal hatred lined with respect is the better word.
Phoenix quickly on his way to the top rope!
TR: and the fool old goat himself is standing back up, setting himself up
for more punishment.
[Phoenix nails him with a flying forearm.
Georgio counts: One, two, kickout.]
TR: Like a hawk flying through the air! That was beautiful!
RJ Only beautiful enough to get a two count.
[Phoenix takes him down with a headlock takedown.
Phoenix goes for a clawhold, but The War Machine blocks it.]
TR: Come on! Get him with the Underground hold!
RJ: War Machine is thwarting this off.. and now he's actually
hoisting Phoenix up to the top rope!
[The War Machine takes him down with a front-layout superplex.
Crowd pops.]
RJ: Down-He-Goes!!
CC: Great front-layour superplex performed there by The War
Machine and he's got Phoenix right where he wants him. He's got
to take the gas out a bit and than put him away.
[The War Machine nails him with a bearhug.]
CC: and that bearhug is an excellent way to do so.
TR: Come on! Do you think Outdated Machine can keep the strong,
young, vibrant Phoenix in a bearhug? Not bloody lightly.
RJ: Well so far he is motormouth and he's squeezing hard.
TR: Yeah, a real Kodak moment.
RJ: I have word someone is demanding air time in the back. We'll go to
a split screen to try to see what's going out back there.
[Screen shows a split view of the match and Lethal sitting in his dressing
room watching the match on his Television. He stands up.]
Lethal: I want to direct everyone's attention back to the ring where
that idiot is getting dismantled by the oldest guy in the business as
he so correctly put it... Phoenix, you've been ducking me for too long...
if I can't kick your a** one on one in the ring I guess I'll just have to
wait 'til War Machine gets through with you and beat you up today...
you did a very bad thing when you pushed my friend into the sea, Phoenix,
and now it's payback time and as your fat UA leader always says...
oh who cares what he says.. I'll see you after the other loser beats you...
[Lethal picks up a bat and shows it to the camera with an evil grin on his
face, cut back to the match]
RJ: Oh boy, I'm not sure what exactly this means but I have a feeling it
means the SWF Tough Man Champion will not be staying in his dressing
room.
CC: Lets hope SWF officials have gotten wind of the threat and are
immediately taking care of it.
TR: Canuck, you're living in a dream world of fairies and balanced
budgets. The SWF officials have always been and will always be useless
fat old guys. They are just an excuse for the SWF to say "we're trying
to stop it" when they actually like the attacks.
RJ: Certainly your not implying fed heads were in favour of the destruction
of Moon Dog Gator and Damien Grundy?
TR: Slaughterhouse got some nice ratings though didn't it?
CC: Thank goodness you're not the man who decided when to pull my plug.
TR: How about right now Canuck, I'm game! First though, I'd like to know
what incident Lethal was talking about?
CC: Well, former IWF Champion, closely related to Lethal I assume, was
pushed off a bridge. Most people place the blame on Phoenix and Lethal
and Deadly are a couple of them.
RJ: Now Phoenix is trying to drag War Machine over to the ropes. This has
got to take a lot of energy out of him Captain.
CC: It sure does Robert. However, Phoenix is a well conditioned athlete.
His work ethic is one of his finer points.
[Phoenix reaches the ropes after being trapped for about a minute.
The War Machine catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Georgio counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: He finally reaches the ropes and War Machine just drabs him a away
and plants him!
CC: That was smart, see that he's getting out of your hold and hit him with
a high impact move like that one. Still though, he only got a two count.
[The War Machine throws Phoenix to the mat as the crowd chants "IFO"..]
RJ: One half of the Unholy Alliance is showing disgust for his opponent here.
He just tosses him to the mat as the fans are working themselves up into
a frenzy.
TR: chant all they want he'll never hit Phoenix with that!
[The War Machine executes the IFO and goes for the pin.
*description: running powerbomb into the turbuckle*
Big crowd pop.]
RJ: I-F-O!!
TR: Dag Nabit!!!
RJ: and now the cover, this should do it.
[Georgio counts: One, two, kickout
The War Machine complains about a slow count.]
RJ: No! No! Flamboyant Phoenix has just kicked out of the IFO ladies and
gentlemen! How can anyone win this match!
TR: Now look at that, War Machine isn't pleased with Mr. Georgio.
CC: Well it's very disappointing when you can't keep a man down after you
hit him with your ace in the sleeve move. Complaining will only worsen things.
[Phoenix catches him in an inside cradle, The War Machine reverses it. ]
RJ: Phoenix rolls him up... wait! Machine is rolling through! He's rolling
through!
[Georgio counts: One, two, three.
Crowd pops]
RJ: and that's it! The War Machine has defeated Phoenix by reversing his
cradle!
TR: He pulled the tights!
CC: I assure you no tights were pulled, no ropes used for leverage, that was
a well executed wrestling move. I for one am glad to see a match end like
that.
RR: The winner and advancing to the finals of the American Championship
Tournament.... War Machine!
[Crowd pops as "Hair of the Dog" by Nazareth plays as War Machine's hands
are raised by the referee. He than throws the refs hands down and walks out
of the ring and back down the aisle. Phoenix shakes off the cobwebs.]
RJ: So in a minute we're going to take a coffee break and hand things over
for the International Title Tournament Semi-Finals... wait a second!
[Lethal runs down the aisle with the bat and slides into
the ring, Deadly slowly walks down the aisle and approaches the announcers
table, he shoves the time keeper from his chair and sits down]
RJ: Look at those unnecessary actions on the part of Deadly! There was no
need to shove a harmless timekeeper.
TR: all hell is about to break loose Jones! I can feel it!
[Lethal is about to hit Phoenix with the bat when suddenly he pulls back and
drops it, he goes over to Phoenix and low blows him, he then drags him to
the ropes and chokes him against them, Deadly looks into the ring with a
big smile on his face and then turns to the announcer's table.]
TR: I think it's your turn Canuck.
CC: But I do the Captain's Corners!
RJ: Fine, I'll do it! Sheesh, it's enough I own the place but I have to
do play-by-play and interviews. What am I paying you for?
[Robert Jones steps into the ring with a microphone.]
Deadly: Okay, listen up, what your seeing in the ring is Phoenix's worst
nightmare... I want to clarify something, I guess some of you heard of what
happened to the former two times IWF champion, Zahadum... well if your dumb
enough not to watch IWF and you don't know so I'll tell ya... Zahadum was
pushed into surging water... drowned by THIS MAN! {Points towards Phoenix}
RJ: Are you trying to imply that Phoenix is responsible for the
death of former IWF champion Zahadum?
Deadly: Who's implying? HE IS A MURDERER!!! and I'm going to make sure that
everyone knows it...
TR: Murderer, murderer, murderer....
[Canuck says nothing.]
TR: What? What!?
[Deadly pulls out a can of spray paint and walks over to the ring, Lethal
releases the choke and holds Phoenix down on the mat, Deadly slides into
the ring and shakes the can a few times, he then spray paints "Murderer" on
Phoenixes back, the crowd starts booing and jeering but Lethal and Deadly
just don't care.]
CC: I can't believe this. Not even a shallow person like Phoenix deserves
this kind of shabby treatment. He has been choked out after already
battling War Machine and accused of murder! We have no reason to
believe this to be the truth.
[Jagged Edge steps through the curtains with a bat of his own.]
TR: This isn't over yet!
CC: Oh no! I thought this was over, but here comes former World Champion
Jagged Edge!
[Jagged Edge jogs to the ring, slides under the bottom rope, takes a
baseball bat and hits Phoenix repeatedly and then yells]
JE: Is the widdle boy okay?
[All three men laugh when Doug Bacon comes a runnin' from the dressing room...
well this is Doug Bacon so running is an exaggeration.]
RJ: Doug Bacon! Doug Bacon! It's the SWF Champ!
CC: He's facing Lethal later tonight, and I guarantee you there's just a bit
of history between Bacon and Jagged Edge!
TR: Yeah, just a little.
[Doug Bacon hits the ring and clobbers Lethal who ends up dropping his bat.
Bacon picks it up.]
RJ: Now Bacon's got a bat!
[Doug Bacon hits Jagged Edge with the bat sending him flying over the top rope.
He than turns to face Lethal standing right in front of him and drops the bat.]
RJ: Look at this! We've got the main event, in the ring, right now! These two
are staring each other down!
[SWF officials in abundance storm the ring and get between Doug Bacon and
Lethal so nothing starts. Bacon grabs Phoenix on his way out of the ring and
they both walk back down the aisle. Lethal exits shortly after to find an
already
standing Jagged Edge. They both walk back to the dressing rooms.]
RJ: I can't wait until later tonight when Tough Man Champ, Lethal, faces World
Champ Doug Bacon! What a night we have ahead of us ladies and gentlemen!
CC: Speaking of ahead of us. I think we can finally turn things over to
Roberts and Arnett.. So we'll take quick break and be right back with
International Title Tournament Action!
[fade out]
--------------------------------------------
[The scene shows an empty ring in an empty arena.]
Voice: This ring alone can intimidate any normal man.
[Two very up close scenes of men being slammed down onto the mat are
shown.]
Voice: So think how intimidating it would be if you had to go through
9 of those rings each holding a different SWF Superstar and each having a
special little stipulation making them increasingly difficult.
[The 10 men who qualified for Run of Death are shown in the shot.]
Voice: Are you intimidated now?
[The SWF Run of Death logo appears on the screen with ordering
info.]
Voice: all this and more including the World Champion vs. Phoenix
live on Pay Per view in Mid-August. Don't ya' dare miss it!
[fade out]
--------------------------------------------
[The screen shows two men sitting at the announcing table.]
Arnett: Hello everyone, some of you may or may not know us, I am William
Arnett and with me as always is my tag team partner, Blake Roberts.
Roberts: WEAK!!!!
Arnett: Not yet, we haven't even gotten the men in the ring yet.
Roberts: Ever since LAW closed I have been wanting to yell that.
Arnett: Well I am sure you'll have plenty of time in the coming months.
Roberts: I expect I'll say it a helluva lot tonight.
Arnett: Watch the language, they asked you to tone down your language.
Roberts: Tone this down.
[Blake Roberts flips off the camera.]
Roberts: I love it when we are live.
Arnett: Oh God....well folks we'll be doing the semi-final match ups for
the International title, which will be Zac facing Virgo and Tuk Tuk the
Eskimo....
Roberts: You're kidding....
Arnett: He'll be facing The Reaper. Let's get to the announcing of the
next match.
["Drowing" by Hootie and the Blowfish begins to play over the p.a.
system. Zac comes walking from the back to a warm reception from the
fans. He slaps a few hands and slides under the bottom rope and raises
his hands high above the air to which the fans cheer a bit louder.]
Roberts: What a dork. Hell he likes Hootie, so he has to suck....
Arnett: Quiet.
Roberts: Okay....Billy Boy.
Arnett: Don't start.
RR: Introducing in the first match of the semi-final round for
the Supreme Wrestling Federation International Title, weighing in at 395
pounds and standing 6'09", accompanied to the ring by the lovely
Stefanie, from Montreal here is ZAC!!!!
[The crowd gives another good sized pop. Suddenlt the music changes to
"Thunderstruck" by AC/DC, as the crowd cheers a bit louder than before.
A faint chant of "VIR-GO, VIR-GO!!!!" can be heard. Virgo goes running
down to ringside with his arms stretched out as the fans slap his hands
on the way by. He hops up onto the ring apron and enters the ring.]
RR: And his opponent from Ontario, Canada with his manager
Mickey Dee, at a height of 5'11" and weighing 275lbs. Here is VIRGO!!!!
Arnett: Okay fans we are about to start. Blake who do you favor in this
match?
Roberts: Neither, they are both boring, the fans like 'em so I don't.
Besides this Virgo character is anti-Underground, which immediately puts
him on my shitlist, get it....heheheeee!
Arnett: (Sighs)Yes I got it, well fans we are underway.
[They lock up.
Zac nails him with an atomic drop.
Zac nails him with a clawhold.
Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 9 seconds.]
Roberts: Oh hell, now I have a reason to hate this guy as well. He's
trying to pretend to be a member of The Underground, even going as far
as using the signature move. Hey you suck!!!! Get outta the ring.
Arnett: He can't hear you. Zac seems to be in control early on in this
match.
[Zac executes a bodyslam.
Zac whips Virgo into the ropes, but Virgo reverses it.
Zac takes him down with a dropkick.
Zac nails him with a backspin DDT.
Zac is going for the pin.
Georgio counts: One, shoulder up.]
Arnett: Oh no....
Roberts: Oh yes, you ready.....WEAK!!!!
[Zac goes for a clawhold, but Virgo blocks it.]
Roberts: See, don't try to be something you never can.
[Virgo goes for a springboard lariat, but Zac counters it with a
powerslam.
Georgio counts: One, two, kickout.]
Arnett: Zac with a two count and so far he has had all the answers in
this one.
[Zac executes a bearhug.
Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 9 seconds.
Zac executes a clawhold.
Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 27 seconds.]
Roberts: He does that again, and I'll call Retro, I mean it, I will.
Arnett: Shut up, so what if you do....
[Zac executes flying headscissors.
Zac runs into the ropes.
Virgo and Zac get hit with a double clothesline.
Virgo nails him with an enzuigiri.
Virgo executes an enzuigiri.
Virgo nails him with a figure-four sleeper.
Zac breaks the hold after 11 seconds.]
Roberts: Seems Virgo decided to show up to this match.
Arnett: Zac looked like he is gonna try to get the offense back.
[Zac nails him with a DDT.
Zac runs into the ropes.
Zac hits Virgo with a shoulderblock.
Zac is going for the pin.
Georgio counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
Arnett: Two count, it looked like Virgo was just biding his time.
[Zac nails him with a Big Leg Drop.]
Roberts: STEROIDS!!!!
[Zac takes him down with a flying fistdrop.
Zac nails him with a clawhold.
Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.]
Roberts: One more time and I'll get in there and stop him. He's screwing
it up so bad.
Arnett: Hey, the clawhold has been around long before The Underground,
and it will outlast them as well.
Roberts: I'm writing that down, you be hearin from them soon, you might
wanna get security to guard you on the walk to your car tonight.
Arnett: Virgo sending Zac into the ropes.
[Virgo whips Zac into the ropes.
Zac misses with a shoulderblock.
Zac goes for a clawhold, but Virgo blocks it.
Virgo whips Zac into the ropes.
Zac takes him down with an Asai moonsault.
Georgio counts: One, two, kickout.]
Roberts: Come on, hurry it up, I am starting to doze off here, how long
have we gone so far Billy?
Arnett: Quit calling me that. The time keeper just told me we have just
past the four minute mark.
[Zac whips Virgo into the turnbuckle.
Zac charges into the corner, but Virgo lifts his leg.]
Roberts: He gonna piss on him....
Arnett: Shut up, someone cut his mic feed.
Roberts: Like he....(dead silence).
Arnett: Thanks....
Roberts: (faded since he is yelling into Arnett's mic)You can't cut me
out. I'll sue, and besides I am still gonna get paid for bein here.
Arnett: This isn't gonna work, turn his mic back on. He's making me deaf.
[Virgo nails him with an enzuigiri.
Virgo goes for a cartwheel kick, but Zac counters it with a side step.
Zac executes flying headscissors.]
Arnett: Smart move by Zac just then. He seems to be really wanting to be
the first International champion.
Roberts: Why that belt sucks, just like all foreign countries. Look they
have to come here to make the big bucks. We don't see Canada or Mexico
raking in all this money.
[Zac takes him down with a DDT.
Virgo goes for a faceslam, but Zac blocks it.
Zac executes an Asai moonsault.
Georgio counts: One, two, kickout.]
Roberts: I'll give credit though, this guy has made Virgin....
Arnett: That's VirGO.
Roberts: That's what I said, Virgin. Anyways he has made this guy look
like he is easy pickins.
[Virgo takes him down with a springboard lariat.
Virgo nails him with an enzuigiri to the face.]
Arnett: Wow, that came out off no where. He looks like he is wanting to
end it with his face first form of a chokeslam.
[Virgo executes the Face Plant and goes for the pin.
Georgio counts: One, two, three.
The crowd gives a huge pop.]
Arnett: What a come from behind win there. He took quite a beating just
then, good thing he gets to rest longer than his opponent will.
Roberts: Thank God....
Arnett: You were wanting Virgo to win?
Roberts: No....thank God it's over. I was wanting to watch paint dry.
RR: The winner of the match and advancing into the finals of the
SWF International title is VIRGO!!!! The time of match is 5:07.
[Virgo and Zac shake hands in the center of the ring and Zac raises
Virgo's hand in victory. He then leaves the ring as Virgo climbs to the
second buckle while "Thunderstruck" plays. The fans are cheering as
Virgo pumps his fists in the air.]
Roberts: Okay, now I am getting sick, could someone either get him outta
the ring....or shoot him.
Arnett: Would you stop. Fans, we are halfway to knowing what two men will
vie for the International title. Up next is Tuk Tuk the Eskimo against
The Reaper. Both men aren't on the good graces of the fans, so I guess
you are for both men, right?
Roberts: Hell no. They both suck. I pretty much only care about two
people tonight, Phoenix and Doug Bacon. I am only hear because I am
getting paid, plus I need to get prepped for when we start with our big
league fed.
Arnett: Don't promote here, that looks bad. The Reaper has already made
his way to the ring.
[The Reaper tosses his knives in the air, catches them, and tosses them
into the mat.]
Roberts: That idiot, that'll cost him money. And I'm sure he'll have to
work at McDonalds to pay for it.
RR: Our next match is the other semi-final match for the SWF
International championship. Already in the ring from Holland and with
his manager The Ripper, weighing in at 427 lbs and standing an
impressive 7'04", here is THE REAPER!
[The fans boo intently.]
Arnett: I don't think the fans will care who wins this match, they may
even want to see both men put each other out.
["Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice begins playin over the p.a. The fans are
booing intently, probably more for the song than Tuk Tuk. Johnny
Ventures is yelling at a few fans and pointing toward the ring.]
Roberts: This guy can't announce like I can, nor will he be able to lead
this blubber eatin Eskimo to victory.
Arnett: And there's the bell....
Roberts: Where?
Arnett: Shut up.
[They lock up.
The Reaper runs into the ropes.
The Reaper hits Tuk Tuk The Eskimo with a clothesline.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo falls out of the ring.
The Reaper goes through the ropes.]
Roberts: Yes! This match has already gotten better than that last one. We
are outside, come on blood.
Arnett: You need help.
[They're brawling on the floor.
The Reaper throws Tuk Tuk The Eskimo back into the ring.]
Roberts: Ah come on, that was pathetic. No weapons, didn't toss him into
anything, just sat there punching each other.
[The Reaper attemps to place Tuk Tuk The Eskimo on the turnbuckle, but
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo blocks it.
The Reaper executes a backbreaker.
The Reaper attemps to place Tuk Tuk The Eskimo on the turnbuckle, but
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo blocks it.
The Reaper nails him with a piledriver.]
Arnett: Tuk Tuk won't allow himself to be victim of any top rope move,
which is a good gameplan since Reaper's finisher is a top rope
piledriver named The Reaper's Piledriver.
Roberts: Well no one can accuse him of haveing a brain. Talk about
original and you won't be talkin about The Reaper. He coulda called that
move anything like, The Burial or anything.
[The Reaper executes a bearhug.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 19 seconds.
The Reaper takes him down with a back suplex.
The Reaper throws Tuk Tuk The Eskimo out of the ring.
The Reaper goes through the ropes.]
Roberts: And back out we go.
[The Reaper whips Tuk Tuk The Eskimo into the guardrail.
The Reaper whips Tuk Tuk The Eskimo into the guardrail.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo whips The Reaper into the guardrail.
They're brawling on the floor.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo nails him with a kneelift.
The Reaper whips Tuk Tuk The Eskimo into the guardrail.
The Reaper goes for a piledriver, but Tuk Tuk The Eskimo blocks it.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo reenters the ring.
The Reaper follows him back in.]
Roberts: Well they both know where the guardrail is.
Arnett: Tuk Tuk decided to change his battle plan and got back into the
ring, he's going into the ropes.
[Tuk Tuk The Eskimo runs into the ropes.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo takes him down with the Running Forearm Smash.
Ron Hoffa counts: One, kickout.]
Arnett: damn....
Roberts: WEAK!!!!
[Tuk Tuk The Eskimo goes for a kneelift, but The Reaper counters it with
a side step.
The Reaper takes him down with a jack-knife power bomb.
Ron Hoffa counts: One, shoulder up.]
Arnett: No, no, no.
Roberts: WEAK!!!!
[The Reaper places Tuk Tuk The Eskimo on the turnbuckle.
The Reaper catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex.
Ron Hoffa counts: One, kickout.]
Arnett: Stop!
Roberts: Wrong, it is....WEAK!!!!
[The Reaper executes a diving shoulderblock.
Ron Hoffa counts: One, two, kickout.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo takes him down with an elbowsmash.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo throws The Reaper out of the ring.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo goes through the ropes.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo executes a low blow.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo whips The Reaper into the guardrail.
The Reaper executes a German suplex.
The Reaper whips Tuk Tuk The Eskimo into the guardrail.
The Reaper executes a diving shoulderblock.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo is busted wide open.]
Roberts: BLOOD!!!!
[They're brawling on the floor.
The Ripper comes from behind, but Tuk Tuk The Eskimo nails The Ripper.]
Arnett: Down goes Ripper.
[The Reaper takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker.
Johnny Ventures comes from behind and distracts The Reaper.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo takes him down with a chokehold.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo nails him with a DDT.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo throws The Reaper back into the ring.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo places The Reaper on the turnbuckle.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo goes for the Harpoon, but The Reaper counters it with
a crotch slam.]
Arnett: Good counter there by The Reaper, otherwise this woulda been
over.
Roberts: I wish.
[The Reaper nails him with a powerslam.
Ron Hoffa counts: One, shoulder up.]
Arnett: Good lord....
Roberts: WEAK!!!!
[The Reaper goes for a flying Tomahawk, but Tuk Tuk The Eskimo counters
it with
a fist to the midsection.
The Reaper catches him in a power bomb.
Ron Hoffa counts: One, two, kickout.
The Reaper complains about a slow count.]
Roberts: Quit griping you idiot and get back to kickin Tuk Tuk and Roll,
Phoenix is pretty good at naming people.
[The Reaper runs into the ropes.
Johnny Ventures trips The Reaper.
Ron Hoffa warns Johnny Ventures.
Ron Hoffa is back on the job.]
Arnett: Seems that Hoffa's gonna let that go, since this is a pretty
important match.
[The Reaper takes him down with a bearhug.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
The Reaper catches him in a power bomb.
Ron Hoffa counts: One, kickout.]
Arnett: Why, why, why?
Roberts: WEAK!!!! That's like the fifth time this match.
[The Reaper executes a piledriver.
The Reaper whips Tuk Tuk The Eskimo into the ropes, but Tuk Tuk The
Eskimo reverses it.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo executes a kick to the midsection.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo executes a forearm smash.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo nails him with a kick to the midsection.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo executes a kick to the head.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo executes a slap.]
Roberts: Tuk Tuk must think The Reaper is his bitch.
[The Ripper tries to interfere, but Johnny Ventures prevents him from
doing so.]
Roberts: We could have a fight between the managers out here, this match
is better than what I was gonna give it, but it still sucks.
Arnett: What? Now that was hypocritical. It's good but it sucks?
Roberts: Oh, so you agree with me.
Arnett: You set me up just then. Tuk Tuk is all over Reaper right now, he
must smell blood.
Roberts: It's his own.
[Tuk Tuk The Eskimo runs into the ropes.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo hits The Reaper with a kick.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo throws The Reaper out of the ring.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo goes through the ropes.]
Arnett: Tuk Tuk looks to wanna bust open Reaper now.
[Tuk Tuk The Eskimo takes him down with a knee to the back.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo throws The Reaper back into the ring.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo runs into the ropes.
The Reaper and Tuk Tuk The Eskimo get hit with a double clothesline.]
Arnett: And both men go down hard. The Reaper is to his feet first, he's
pulling up Tuk Tuk.
[The Reaper takes him down with a back suplex.
The Reaper goes for a backspin DDT, but Tuk Tuk The Eskimo blocks it.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo takes him down with a fist to the midsection.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo executes a slap.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo is bleeding profusely.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo executes a low blow.]
Roberts: Do they allow guys to wear cups?
Arnett: I don't think they do.
Roberts: Ah, nevermind. It wouldn't matter.
[Tuk Tuk The Eskimo goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but The Reaper
counters it with a duck-down move.
The Reaper nails him with a swinging neckbreaker.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo runs into the ropes.
The Reaper goes for a choke slam, but Tuk Tuk The Eskimo blocks it.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo executes a forearm smash.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo nails him with a facebite.]
Arnett: Tuk Tuk is really tryin to bust open Reaper.
Roberts: Nah, he's probably tired of eating whale all the damn time.
[Tuk Tuk The Eskimo whips The Reaper into the ropes.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo nails him with a Big Leg Drop.]
Roberts: STEROIDS!!!!
Arnett: Oh great looks like you had time to think of another phrase to
scream out now.
Roberts: Yes, well what all did you do on your time off.
Arnett: Well I got the house painted, traded some stocks, went to Hawaii
for a few weeks....
Roberts: Shut the hell up.
[The Reaper takes him down with a DDT.
The Reaper places Tuk Tuk The Eskimo on the turnbuckle.
The Reaper goes for the Reaper's Piledriver, but Johnny Ventures shoves
him off the turnbuckle.]
Arnett: Ah come on that is just not right. Ref he cheated.
Roberts: It ain't cheating unless you get caught.
Arnett: It could have been all over then.
[Tuk Tuk The Eskimo nails him with a kick to the midsection.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo runs into the ropes.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo hits The Reaper with a kick.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo is bleeding like a faucet.
Tuk Tuk The Eskimo executes a Big Leg Drop.]
Arnett: Not another one....
Roberts: STEROIDS!!!!
[Tuk Tuk The Eskimo goes for a kneelift, but The Reaper counters it with
a side step.]
Arnett: Tuk Tuk hit his head hard after missing that kneelift.
[The Reaper places Tuk Tuk The Eskimo on the turnbuckle.]
Roberts: This could be it.
[The Reaper executes the Reaper's Piledriver and goes for the pin.]
Arnett: He hit it, now the cover.
[Ron Hoffa counts: One, two, three.]
Arnett: And that'll do it. So now we have our finalists for the SWF
International title, The Reaper versus Virgo. Both men seemed a bit off
on these matches. They both seemed evenly matched, so I can't wait to
see who wins.
Roberts: I'm not gonna, I'm goin to go get my check and get the hell
outta here. Billy Boy, I'll see you in a few weeks.
[The sound of a headset being moved around and finally set on a table
can be heard.]
Arnett: Well fans here is the official word.
RR: The winner of the match in a time of 7:22 and advancing to
the finals of the SWF International championship is THE REAPER!!!!
[The fans boo as Tuk Tuk roll out of the ring and The Reaper stands in
the ring motionless.]
Arnett: Well fans, that all the time we have for tonight, after a mini-beak
Robert, Tom and the Captain will be back with you.
[fade out]
--------------------------------------------
[The scene shows an empty ring in an empty arena.]
Voice: This ring alone can intimidate any normal man.
[Two very up close scenes of men being slammed down onto the mat are
shown.]
Voice: So think how intimidating it would be if you had to go through
9 of those rings each holding a different SWF Superstar and each having a
special little stipulation making them special.
[The 10 men who qualified for Run of Death are shown in the shot.]
Voice: Are you intimidated now?
[The SWF Run of Death logo appears on the screen with ordering
info.]
Voice: all this and more including the World Champion vs. Phoenix
live on Pay Per view min Mid-August. Don't ya' dare miss it!
[fade out]
--------------------------------------------
[fade back into the pan of the Caesar's Palace crowd. It is still
electric and now even more so as we prepare for the first of the title
matches. Robert Jones, Tom Rogers and Captain Canuck are once
again standing by.]
RJ: Welcome back fans. Great job by ***** and thanks for allowing
us the time to take that break before comin' at you with two action
backed matches. Each of these matches will crown a first time
champion. Later we'll see a Falls Count Anywhere battle between
Virgo and the Reaper; but, up first, the ladder is ready for use with
the SWF American Title perched above it ready for the first man worthy
enough to grab hold of it!
CC: Wow, a Ladder Match, I remember the first and only Ladder Match
we've had so far in the SWF was way back at the Infomercial. Phoenix
was involved in that as well as some other ladies man type wrestler. I can't
quite remember his name. Although, I do remember him complaining an
awful lot.
RJ: In any case Captain, this match will blow your socks off I'm sure. Lets
go to Rod Roddy!
RR: We're into the Title Showdowns! First up, the finals of the title for the
men who call America their home country. First, from Denver, Colorado.
["Jagged Little Pill" by Alanis Morrisette starts to play and the fans react to
that with nothing but boos.]
RR: Weighing in at 278 pounds. Being led to the ring by his fiancee Kim
Kelly and Lethal, here is the former SWF World Champion and master of the
Shattered Dreams... Jagged Edge... come on down!!!
[Kim Kelly emerges through the curtains first in her skin tight leather dress.
She gets plenty of whistles from the man. She points to the Pot of Gold
at the side of the entrance with a big smile on her face. Jagged Edge follows
her out and struts to the ring. His entrance is greeted with lots of nice boos.
Lethal follows a bit behind making sure no one's coming behind. Lethal
still has his nice Tough Man Belt around his waste and baseball bat in
hand.]
RJ: Does this all seem like a plan to anyone else? Lethal and Jagged Edge
wrestle. Lethal gets disqualified advancing Jagged Edge without actually
having to decide who's the better man by pinfall or submission... and all
of a sudden Lethal and Jagged Edge are partners! Sound fishy? A bit.
CC: I think the disqualification was actually unintentional and these two
men gained respect for one another because of the match. It showed each
of them what the other is capable of and look what they've already done
here tonight? Lethal and Jagged Edge could walk out of Caesar's Palace
with the World and American Belts in their little team's name.
TR: Well Lethal isn't going anywhere with Bacon, but we all know War Machine
has been taking extra shots of the puffer so he can lug his old ass out here to
even compete in this type of gruelling match with Jagged Edge.
RJ: I guess we'll have to wait and see.
RR: his opponent.
["Hair of the Dog" by Nazareth starts to play and the fans start the cheering.]
RR: From anywhere he damn well pleases, weighing in at 327 pounds. Here
is one half of the World Tag Team Champion and the master of the IMO...
War Machine... come down!!!
[War Machine walks out with a look of determination in his eyes to a large
ovation from the fans. He wears a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. On the
front it says "I'm gonna kick your ass!" and on the back there is a picture
of all the members of TUA with "The Unholy" written above the picture and
"Alliance" under it. He wears camouflage pants and combat boots. He takes
the shirt off before the match.]
RJ: There he is, this man wrestled an impressive match with Phoenix continuing
his mini-streak of late. Lets see if he can keep it up in this ladder match
I've
dubbed "Reach for the Stars and Stripes."
TR: Well I'm sure mama and the nice man she brought home from off the street
corner are very proud of you.
[The Bell Rings.
They lock up..
Jagged Edge whips The War Machine into the ropes.
Jagged Edge hits The War Machine with a clothesline.
Jagged Edge places The War Machine on the turnbuckle.]
RJ: Quickly Jagged Edge is gaining the early advantage here. Now he's got
War Machine in no man's land up there on the top rope!
TR: I didn't think War Machine was this worn out, I guess he's older than
those grey hairs tell us.
CC: He doesn't even have grey hair?
TR: Exactly my point!
[Jagged Edge catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex.
Jagged Edge throws The War Machine out of the ring.
Jagged Edge goes through the ropes.]
RJ: and Jagged Edge sends War Machine for one heck of a Belly-to-Belly
ride!
TR: and that was no tea cups ride.
[The War Machine knocks Jagged Edge into the ringsteps.
The crowd gasps.. it's been a while.]
CC: Look at that! Edge wasn't quick enough to pounce and he got
sent into those steps at light speed.
[Kim Kelly comes from behind, but The War Machine nails Kim Kelly.]
RJ: Whoa Nelly!
TR: Arrest that man! He hit a woman! Arrest that man!
[Jagged Edge takes him down with a German suplex.
Jagged Edge flexes to the crowd.]
RJ: That interference cost soon to be Mrs. Jagged Edge some physical
problems, but it helped Edge gain control of the museum of Civilization.
TR: What?! Are you diseased?!
CC: Of course you meant the match right...
RJ: The match? Oh right! The match.
[Jagged Edge executes the Shattered Dreams on the concrete floor.
*Description: A sleeper hold*]
RJ: Shattered Dreams!
TR: Well, it's already past his bed time. Of course Edge wouldn't let him
soak his dentures.
[The War Machine is out cold.]
TR: Look at him Jones! He's lifeless, done, fini, history, it's the end of
this match as we know it...
RJ: Enough already!
[Jagged Edge flexes to the crowd.]
CC: and the ego driven Jagged Edge flexes once more to the crowd.
Him and Phoenix would team up quite well.
[Jagged Edge nails him with a Tombstone.
Jagged Edge throws The War Machine back into the ring.
Jagged Edge follows him in.]
RJ: and more awful punishment before the match is taken back into the
ring.
CC: Hold on. Why would Jagged Edge throw War Machine back in the
ring when in reality he wants to be as far away from him as possible?
[Jagged Edge tries to climb the ladder.
Jagged Edge is on his way up.]
CC: Maybe he is trying to rub it in the War Machine's face...
[The War Machine pulls him back down.
The War Machine executes a bearhug.]
RJ: Big mistake! Jagged Edge is now in the clutches of the War Machine!
CC: Remember Robert, this bearhug is the move that gave the War Machine
the edge he needed to take care of Phoenix. No pun intended of course.
RJ: Of course.
TR: Pay attention to the match!
RJ: Well I never thought you'd say that to me.
[Jagged Edge manages to escape the hold after being trapped for around
45 seconds.
Jagged Edge misses with a kick.]
RJ: and Jagged Edge has finally escaped the Bearhug and he's swinging his foot
madly and off target!
[Jagged Edge throws The War Machine out of the ring.
Jagged Edge goes through the ropes.]
TR: Didn't miss there! THUD!
[Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts The War Machine.]
TR: Why can't she distract me!?
RJ: I wouldn't mind that.
[Jagged Edge goes for the Doctor Bomb, but The War Machine counters it with
a backdrop.
The War Machine executes a clawhold.]
TR: Hey! That move is copyrighted!
[The War Machine whips Jagged Edge into the guardrail.
The crowd gasps
The War Machine nails him with a flying forearm.]
RJ: Off the top! Gadzukes!
TR: Gadzukes!?
[The War Machine removes the protective padding on the floor.]
CC: Hey, what's he doing now, that is for the wrestler's safety
and safety is one thing that can't be messed with!
TR: Yeah, this is a sport based on physical well being. Dumbass.
RJ: He's setting him up for the... I can't believe this.
CC: No, not on the concrete floor!
[The War Machine executes the IFO on the concrete floor.
*Description: running powerbomb.*
Jagged Edge is out cold.
Big crowd pop.]
RJ: Oh... No!! Right on the concrete floor with all the momentum
he could muster up War Machine has IFOed Jagged Edge onto
the concrete!
CC: Why are the fans cheering this?! That was terrible! There is no
way that if the War Machine went for the belt now that he'd be caught
by Jagged Edge. War Machine could have killed Jagged Edge there!
[Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts The War Machine.]
RJ: Wait a second, she's going to try to keep War Machine out of the
ring and away from the ladder.
[Kim Kelly slaps The War Machine.]
TR: She broke his jaw!
RJ: Stop it!
TR: and really fucked with his pride.
CC: Did you just... I mean.. you said.. uh...
TR: Pay Per View baby! Well.. HBO and TNM anyway.
[The War Machine starts to chase Kim Kelly around the corner and he is met with
a clothesline from Lethal that knocks him to the ground. Both competitors
lie on the floor.]
CC: Send him back to the dressing room! That man should have no impact on the
outcome of this match.
[The crowd erupts into cheers as Zodiac walks down the aisle and stands in the
centre of the aisle right up close to the ring staring at Lethal.]
RJ: It's Zodiac!
TR: This room just got older.
RJ: Lame, that one was on the level of "bite me!"
CC: Hey guys look! Jagged Edge has staggered back to his feet!
RJ: He's creeping up behind War Machine who is now sitting up with his back
turned to Edge! Will the Shattered Dreams be applied a second time to the
tag team champion?!
TR: Good night darlin'
[Jagged Edge goes for the Shattered Dreams, but The War Machine counters it with
an elbowsmash.]
RJ: He played possum! And look at those teeth fly!
CC: That's called ring smarts! He suckered Jagged Edge in like... lik....
TR: A Canadian asked to take part in a UN mission!
CC: Like... uh... um.. we're nice people all right!
TR: Good, you'd be easy to take over if we ever saw any us for you.
RJ: Uh... hello? Wrestling program folks! W-R-E-S-T-L-I-N-G
[The War Machine whips Jagged Edge into the guardrail.
The War Machine whips Jagged Edge into the guardrail.
Big pops and gasps all over the place.]
CC: No Robert, that's a street fight. Just a plain old street fight.
TR: the best kind. Hey! That "I get a couple bucks off at the movies and the
zoo" old timer is gong back up to the top again!?
[The War Machine executes a flying forearm.
It knocks Jagged Edge into the guardrail.
Loud gasps followed by pop.]
RJ: Did you see him fly!
TR: Hey, I saw an 80 year old water skiing on his bare feet once so it doesn't
prove anything!
[The War Machine goes for an armbar submission, but Jagged Edge blocks it.
Jagged Edge nails him with a piledriver.]
RJ: Pildriver! Onto the flimsy floor mats! That's got to hurt!
CC: Lets just be thankful he didn't do it on the cement. That would have been
disaster. For now all that move does is completely switch the momentum, no
bad.
[Jagged Edge whips The War Machine into the guardrail.
Jagged Edge executes a jack-knife power bomb.]
RJ: Look at him bounce back off the guardrail... and he gets driven through
the floor! That is vicious!
TR: Yeah! I love it.. the sickening thud! Sac of aged goo out of the game.
[Jagged Edge whips The War Machine into the guardrail.
Jagged Edge whips The War Machine into the guardrail.]
RJ: Look at this! He's just dismantling the War Machine while Zodiac and Lethal
watch on for their respective camps. One half of the Unholy Alliance is lying,
pretty much motionless on the mat.
CC: and the sick man Jagged Edge is, he's enjoying every minutes of it.
[Jagged Edge reenters the ring.
Jagged Edge flexes for the crowd.]
CC: It's not time to waste flexing. Edge has War Machine down and War Machine
doesn't stay down too often.
RJ: No he doesn't! Look! War Machine is staggering to his feet. He's slowly
climbing back into the ring.. I don't think Jagged Edge sees him!
TR: That damn War Machine is playing tricks again!
[War Machine runs at Jagged Edge.
Jagged Edge turns around and executes a back-body-drop into he ladder. This of
course sends the fans into a frenzy because what they saw was really cool.
The ladder bends a bit, but doesn't give, increasing the damage done.]
CC: Whoa!
RJ: Did you see that!?!? Now Jagged Edge played dumb and War Machine go smashed
into the ladder! That is shocking! I can't believe this!
TR: Good thing War Machine has insurance! Yeah! Toss him a can of oil as a
consolation prize.
[Jagged Edge throws War Machine out of the ring.
Jagged Edge tries to climb the ladder.
Jagged Edge is on his way up.]
RJ: War Machine is no where near the ladder! He's way to the outside. This has
gotta
be it for him.
TR: The sweat sounds of triumph!
[Jagged Edge is half-way up.
Jagged Edge is almost on top of the ladder.
Jagged Edge is in grabbing distance.]
RJ: War Machine is just getting to his feet. It's much too late! This belt
belongs to Jagged Edge if only he can reach out and grab it!
[Jagged Edge has retrieved the belt.]
RJ: He got it! Jagged Edge has the belt! He is the first SWF American
Champion!!
[Fireworks fly out of the pot of gold pot as Jagged Edge raises the belt in
the air.
He than starts to walk back down the ladder and "Jagged Little Pill" resumes
playing.]
CC: What a match. Hard work on both sides, questionable tactics used by both
men and when you've got a match where the only rule is grab the belt and hold on
you have to expect that. Edge deserves this title and just because I don't
like the
way he handles himself I'm not going to take that away from him.
[Jagged Edge meets Kim Kelly in the middle of the ring and they hug and than
Lethal gives Edge a high five.]
CC: On the other hand. War Machine put out one heck of a valiant effort.
He could have had this match won possibly when he hit the IFO on the concrete.
[War Machine shakes off the cob webs and walks back up the aisle with
Zodiac. A ring attendant follows with War Machine's half of the Tag Team
Titles.]
RJ: Listen to the fans boo. The despise these two men who seem to be at the
top of the Supreme Wrestling Federation right now!
RR: The winner of the match and first ever SWF American Champion...
Jagged Edge!
[The three of them stand raising their arms in the air... from left to right Kim
Kelly, Jagged Edge and Lethal. Jagged and Kim are holding up the American Title
with one hand each and Lethal and Jagged are holding up Lethal's Tough Man Title
with one hand each. Fireworks spray out of each ringpost and the boos just keep
going.]
RJ: this is Jagged Edge's second major moment of glory at a SWF Special Event.
First he went through hell and back to become first ever SWF Champion.
Now he's the first ever SWF American Champion. This man is all over the
SWF when the bright lights are shining and the pressure is on the line.
TR: I have some shocking news to break however.
RJ: What's that?
TR: Jagged Edge has signed with the IWF and his first match is scheduled for
next Wednesday on their Wednesday show.
RJ: Wha.. what? He did, did he. Now I know Suresh is still out there!
CC: Just to keep you from getting in trouble again Roger.
RJ: The name is Robert.
CC: Oh sorry! I got you mixed up with this other guy. Anyway, it seems we
were mentioned on the IWF this week.
RJ: Oh really. Lets see it while they're clearing out the ring.
CC: All right, but I don't want to see hatred develop, I'm just informing
as a journalist.
<<>>
*[Commissioner Ali comes down the aisle and grabs a mic before
*entering the ring.]
*
*Ali: Well hello IWF fans! This show has been great so far, hasn't
*it? I'm so glad I thought of it. But not everything is great...did any
*of you see that lame show yesterday? SWF Triumphant Tuesday I
*think it's called. Of course none of you saw it, so let me recap what
*those jerks said. Some loser by the name of Robert Jones has
*accused us, the IWF, of kidnapping their two-bit Commissioner Ron
*Yvette...that is completely untrue.
*
*Bill: Well, Yvette is tied into this murder stuff somehow. We all
*heard that his name was on a note Suresh was carrying when he
*was injured.
*
*Ali: And then they claim that Martin Suresh isn't really gone! Well
*then what the heck am I doing here? He was fired, morons; I'm the
*NEW Commissioner! And now he's probably still in the hospital
*for all we know. But since he's no longer affiliated with the IWF, we
*don't really care. This isn't a publicity stunt. We all saw how badly
*Suresh was hurt at Pyromania. And to say that he is still running
*things is absurd. You wanna see the man who's running things?
*Well here he is...
*
*[Ali points to the back and then President Scott Symes comes out
*and down to the ring.]
*
*Ali: We're not Suresh's "cronies" as Jones put it. Tell'em Prez.
*
*Symes: Suresh isn't running crap around here. I fired him and he's
*gone. It's as simple as that. I am the founder of the Island Wrestling
*Federation and I am it's President. I am the authority on what happens
*here. As for the SWF...
*
*[Commissioner Ali smiles and rubs his hands together.]
*
*Symes: You guys are pathetic. You should be thanking us instead of
*making these false accusations. Pegasus showing up on your show
*boosted your ratings by several tenths, I'm sure. Just mentioning the
*IWF probably gave you at least a tenth. So stop running your mouths
*about us and maybe we won't sue you for slander. That's all I'm going
*to say for now.
*
*Ali: So there!
*
*[Commissioner Ali and President Symes leave the ring and exit the
*ring area.]
*
*Seamus: Well, it looks like they didn't take too kindly to what those
*SWF announcers said about us.
*
*Carlos: Like I said, the SWF is a sorry organization grasping for
*something. That's why they're trying to draw our attention. Now
*that Suresh is gone, I bet we won't see anymore of the talent-trading
*like we did before. What was that guy's name anyway? Moon
*Dog? He was pathetic and the IWF fans recognized it immediately
*when they saw him on our own Saturday Night Showdown a while
*back.
<<>>
[scene now shoes Robert Jones' face. He is obviously hiding anger. Tom
Rogers is laughing about something.]
CC: What's so funny Tom?
TR: This guy Carlos! Hehe! He just insults everything and acts real
negative about stuff the knows nothing about just so he can look cool!
Hehehe! Can you imagine someone like that ever getting a job on
pro-wrestling TV?
RJ: *sarcastically* Why of course not, I've never worked with anyone
like that.
CC: I think the key here is that we are informed.
RJ: Well I'd like to let them know that our ratings are just fine
thank you very much. Maybe if they spent more time worrying about what
they're wrestlers are doing and whether they are safe... maybe than would
they actually have some credibility. If any of our shows went head to
head with the IWF we'd murder 'em in a heartbeat!
TR: Preach on brother man!
RJ: Well I'm going to do the IWF a little favour and show my face on
their little show next week. They will not bad mouth me and my federation
for being worried about the safety of our wrestlers and staff! I will set
the record straight. Don't worry, I'll have protection.
CC: Not me again!?
RJ: You'll see. OK, now that the unpleasantness is behind us lets get to
our second of 3 championship matches today with a total of 4 singles
titles on the line.
CC: What a night it's been so far and now we crown the first ever
International Champion!
TR: Stupid foreigners don't even deserve a belt. I'm sitting his match out.
[Tom Rogers leaves.]
RJ: Well I'm sure will be fined and flamed for those comments and life
will be a lot simpler here without him.
CC: Sure will, a couple guys who like seeing wrestling watching and
talking about wrestling with a heck of a lot more guys out there in TV land.
Sounds fun. Lets get the wrestlers down here!
RR: This match is for the first ever SWF International Championship!
Introducing first, from Amsterdam, Holland. Weighing in at 457
pounds, being led to the ring by the Ripper. Here is the master of the
Reaper's Piledriver... The Reaper... come on down!!
[the Ripper leads the Reaper to the ring.
He walks slowly with a dark suit and he had knifes on his arms..
and he has the big blade just like the Reaper! The fans boo him and
boo him some more and he enters the ring.]
RJ: There he is, the monster known as the Reaper.
CC: Yes, but the bigger they are, you know the rest. Plus I think this
man may have a bit of an identity crises because he doesn't seem to be
able to figure out if he's himself or somebody else.
RJ: He certainly has the power and skill to win this match though.
CC: He sure does. I was very surprised when be beat Tuk Tuk, who
I thought was a much better wrestler, but he proved what he can do.
Virgo will have to be on his game to come out on top.
RJ: Virgo will have to at least show up.
CC: *laughing* good point.
RR: His opponent, from Kingston, Ontario.
["Tunderstruck by ACDC plays as the crowd roars it's approval.
They all like that Virgo guy.]
RR: Weighing in at 275 pounds. Being led to the ring by Mickey Dee, here
is the master of the Face Plant... Virgo!
[Mickey Dee leads Virgo to the ring and they are getting a lot of support.
When entering the ring, Virgo will slap hands, sign autographs, etc.
Whenever the theme music reaches the 'Thunder' chant, he thrusts his
fist into the air, getting the crowd worked up. On his way to the ring,
Virgo wears a long black trench coat, which he leaves open, and a pair of
mirrored shades on his eyes.his hands are covered with black fingerless
gloves. Once in the ring, he sheds the shades, and the trench coat, wrestling
in black jeans, snakeskin boots (steel toed), and his black gloves.]
RR: But folks.. there's just one little catch.... FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE!!!
[big pop from the crowd.]
RJ: The crowd is pumped, everyone is pumped. Who will be the first
International Champion?!
CC: It'll be a tough job for the referee, Ron Hoffa.. hey!
[The Reaper attacks Virgo before the bell.
The Reaper executes a backspin DDT.
The Bell Rings.]
RJ: Before the bell even goes we've got action! The huge man known as
the Reaper just smashed the skull of Virgo into the canvas.
CC: Reaper's an aggressive and unstable guy so you've got to watch
out for crazy stuff in that ring against him.
[The Reaper whips Virgo into the ropes.
Virgo goes for a flying clothesline, but The Reaper counters it with
a duck-down move.
The Reaper goes for a dropkick to the knee, but Virgo counters it with
a side step.]
CC: Boy does the Reaper look like a fool there trying to do a dropkick
to the knee! The man is 470 I think. That's way too much to be
executing any sort of a dropkick.
RJ: Now he's flat on his back.
CC: You're darn right he is.
[Virgo throws The Reaper out of the ring.]
RJ: Virgo dumps the Reaper to the outside of the ring through the second
and third ropes. He's running back and coming at him at full speed!
[Virgo jumps onto him with a Shooting Star, but The Reaper moves out of the way.
The crowd gasps as Virgo crashes on top of the French announcer's table.]
French Announcer: Oh Mon Dieux!
[The Reaper throws Virgo over the guardrail.]
RJ: Here we go! The Reaper has taken the action into the fans! This is what
falls count anywhere is all about. Remember Jagged Edge vs. Doug Bacon
for the SWF World Title?
CC: All too well. Fortunately they have real security guarding the fans now.
[The Reaper takes him down with a jumping DDT.
The Reaper goes for a choke slam, but Virgo blocks it.
Virgo executes a Russian legsweep.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.]
RJ: These two warriors are going at it tooth and nail. Both using their
advantages to their advantage. Virgo's speed and higher technical
knowledge and Reaper's power.
[The Reaper whips Virgo into the guardrail.
The crowd gasps.]
CC: Virgo has to stay out of brawling situations or he'll get murdered.
Period, exclamation point.
[The Reaper goes for a backspin DDT, but Virgo counters it with
a belly-to-belly suplex.
Ron Hoffa counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: He gets the big man up and over! One, two, and he kicks out!
CC: That was impressive Robert, Virgo is showing some strength I didn't
know he had.
[They're brawling down the aisle.
They're brawling down the aisle.
They're brawling in the back of the arena.
Virgo is busted wide open.]
RJ: Look at this will you! This has broken out into a massive fist fight with
Virgo taking the worst of it! They're back in the dressing room area just
pounding away on each other like there's no tomorrow!
CC: Virgo can't keep this up. Reaper is just too massive! He's just too
powerful. With him you can't fight power with power unless you're maybe
someone like a Moon Dog.
RJ: Virgo now has a cut over his eye.
CC: Bad to worse.
[Virgo knocks The Reaper into the arena wall.
They're brawling in the back of the arena.]
RJ: What intensity, these men have one thing in mind and that's the
International
gold. They are fiercely battling for the right to own that prestigious
championship.
[The Reaper nails him with a choke slam.]
RJ: Up and down! That's got to take a lot out of Virgo. Being slammed down
like that on the cement backstage. There's no padding.
CC: It takes something special to be involved in something and physically
dangerous
as the Falls Count Anywhere match. You have to be something you're not during
your regular matches to last the whole way.
RJ: Now the Reaper is going to force Virgo up.
[They're brawling up the arena stairway.
The Reaper knocks Virgo into the stairway.
They're brawling up the arena stairway.
They're brawling down the stairway.
They're brawling down the stairway.
They're brawling up the arena stairway.
The Reaper knocks Virgo into the stairway.
They're brawling down the stairway.
The Reaper knocks Virgo into the stairway.
They're brawling up the arena stairway.]
RJ: This is unbelievable! The fire! The emotion! The intensity!
These two men are battling it out like we've only seen before once and no
match could possibly live up to Bacon vs. Edge I.
CC: I don't know how Virgo is about to physically stand this kind of a
punishment from such a powerful man. I'm flabbergasted that he's brawling
with this man and not being taken a part.
[The Reaper goes for a Tombstone, but Virgo reverses it.]
RJ: Up he goes.. and no wait.. reversal... and Virgo tombstones
the Reaper! How about that!
CC: Look at this now! They're up in the first deck! This is absolutely nuts!
[They're brawling on the first floor.
Virgo throws The Reaper down to the first floor.
Virgo descends the stairs.
The crowd gasps as they have never gasped before! Plus some folks cheer
the fact that Virgo got the better of that and he's the face.]
RJ: OH GAWD!! OH MY GAWD!! Virgo just threw the Reaper down a
flight of stairs! That's insane! This is insane! I can't believe what I just
saw!
CC: Whoa... I've been in the wrestling business for a long time and I've seen
some crazy stuff, but this takes the cake! This... er... man got thrown down
a flight of stairs!! Look at him, he could have been killed! You talked about
intensity before Robert, well this is it at the highest level I can ever
imagine!
RJ: The Ripper is running through the crowd to get at Virgo!
CC: and folks that means something because Mr. Ripper is almost as large
as the man he manages!
[The Ripper tries to interfere, but Mickey Dee prevents him from doing so.]
RJ: Mickey Dee just risked life and limb for his wrestler! He has jumped on
The Ripper's back and he's choking him with a large handkerchief! Strange, yes,
but effective!
[Virgo is bleeding like hell.]
CC: Look at the blood just poor out of Virgo who's just about had it. Not quite
like the Reaper, but he isn't in good shape!
RJ: Virgo is lifting the Reaper off the ground and he's raised one arm in the
air
while looking into the seats! Is this what I think is coming!?
[Virgo executes the Face Plant and goes for the pin.
Major pop.]
RJ: WHOA! The-Reaper-Was-Planted!!
CC: Right on the cement floor! Face first! I guarantee his nose, if not every
other
part of his body, is broken! This has got to be it!
[Ron Hoffa counts: One, two, three.]
RJ: That's it!
CC: That's all!
RJ: Virgo is the champ!
[Mickey Dee jumps off the Ripper's back and the Ripper collapses due to lack of
oxygen caused by Dee's choking. Dee runs and jumps into Virgo's arms. Virgo
immediately puts him down and gives him a high five. "Thunderstruck" resumes
playing as the crowd is going crazy.]
CC: What a match! Two awesome and exciting championship matches in a row.
I'll tell you what Robert the title matches just bring a little something extra
to
the table. Intensity, desire, all that and more.
RR: Ladies and gentlemen. The winner, and first SWF International Champion...
Virgo!
[loud pops all around as Virgo is finally handed his belt by referee Ron Hoffa.
He lifts it over his head as a collage of firework streams spray out of the pots
of
gold at the entrance where Virgo is standing with Mickey Dee..]
RJ: Soak it in boys. You may never get to enjoy something like this again.
[They leave and the camera switches to a shot of the announcer's table
with Robert Jones and Captain Canuck.]
RJ: Well Captain so far I've had an absolute blast tonight. We saw some
amazing physical feats and were surrounded by a fantastic crowd.
CC: The two title matches we've seen thus far will be hard to top, but already
tonight we are seeing hostility between Bacon and Lethal due to their allies.
There is some hate between them and some passion which wasn't expected
considering the opponent was selected at such short notice.
RJ: We have two new champions and 3 in 2 days... lets see if we can't make it 5.
The title swap match is coming up and the Slaughterhouse crew is set to take
over. So, for Tom, who spending entirely too much time in the men's washroom,
and Captain Canuck... I'm Robert Jones. Enjoy the title match.
[fade out to clip from earlier tonight]
<<>>
*RJ: Are you trying to imply that Phoenix is responsible for the
*death of former IWF champion Zahadum?
*
*Deadly: Who's implying? HE IS A MURDERER!!! and I'm going to make sure that
*everyone knows it...
*
*TR: Murderer, murderer, murderer....
*
*[Canuck says nothing.]
*
*TR: What? What!?
*
*[Deadly pulls out a can of spray paint and walks over to the ring, Lethal
*releases the choke and holds Phoenix down on the mat, Deadly slides into
*the ring and shakes the can a few times, he then spray paints "Murderer" on
*Phoenixes back, the crowd starts booing and jeering but Lethal and Deadly
*just don't care.]
*
*CC: I can't believe this. Not even a shallow person like Phoenix deserves
*this kind of shabby treatment. He has been choked out after already
*battling War Machine and accused of murder! We have no reason to
*believe this to be the truth.
*
*[Jagged Edge steps through the curtains with a bat of his own.]
*
*TR: This isn't over yet!
*
*CC: Oh no! I thought this was over, but here comes former World Champion
*Jagged Edge!
*
*[Jagged Edge jobs to the ring, slides under the bottom rope, takes a baseball
*bat and hits Phoenix repeatedly and then yells]
*
*JE: Is the widdle boy okay?
*
*[All three men laugh when Doug Bacon comes a runnin' from the dressing room...
*well this is Doug Bacon so running is an exaggeration.]
*
*RJ: Doug Bacon! Doug Bacon! It's the SWF Champ!
*
*CC: He's facing Lethal later tonight, and I guarantee you there's just a bit of
history
*between Bacon and Jagged Edge!
*
*TR: Yeah, just a little.
*
*[Doug Bacon hits the ring and clobbers Lethal who ends up dropping his bat.
*Bacon picks it up.]
*
*RJ: Now Bacon's got a bat!
*
*[Doug Bacon hits Jagged Edge with the bat sending him flying over the top rope.
*He than turns to face Lethal standing right in front of him and drops the bat.]
*
*RJ: Look at this! We've got the mail event, in the ring, right now! These two
*are staring each other down!
*
*[SWF officials in abundance storm the ring and get between Doug Bacon and
*Lethal so nothing starts. Bacon grabs Phoenix on his way out of the ring and
*they both walk back down the aisle. Lethal exits shortly after to find an
*already standing Jagged Edge. They both walk back to the dressing rooms.]
<<>>
VM: Welcome back to the Pot of Gold! I'm Vance McMihn and with me is my
partner Johnny "The Muscle" Ventures and we're here to bring you the
final match of the night, the battle of the champions when SWF World
Champion, Doug Bacon, takes on newly crowned Tough Man Champ, Lethal.
JV: Why are we here? It specifically says in my contract that I will
never work 2 days in a row.
VM: You here anyways for Tuk Tuk.
JV: That doesn't matter. It's the principle.
VM: Well we have already crowned the foreign and domestic champions.
Congratulations to Virgo and Jagged Edge.
JV: And I can't believe that Undertaker ripoff beat Tuk Tuk.
VM: A wrestler is only as good as his manager.
JV: Are you insulting me?
VM: Moving right along, Lethal won his Tough Man belt just last night,
in the Bunkhouse Brawl.
JV: And I have no dount that Lethal is still in pain after last night.
VM: The real story last night is if there is any truth to the rumors
that Booker Frenck and Lethal have teamed up for some unknown reason.
JV: I think it's all a bunch of hot air.
VM: Well you do have to wonder. While I do like Mr. Frenck and think he
has done an excellent job, there have been a lot of unusual events going
on around him.
JV: Such as?
VM: Well first Commissioner Yvette mysteriously disappears, Booker
Frenck quickly assumes control of the SWF. One of his first actions is
lift the Slaughterhouse ban on his wrestler, Vigilante. During the
match, where Desperado was trying to end his ban, Lethal, Deadly, and an
unknown masked man come down and attack Desperado. Last night, Lethal
somehow manages to get a hold of the SWF Tough Man belt to use as a
weapon in the brawl, and then he succeeded in winning. You have to
admit that looks a bit bad for Booker Frenck.
JV: I don't think so. First off, no one knows the whereabouts of
Yvette, there have been accuasations that the IWF is even responsible
for it. Sure, Frenck allowed Vig to wrestle on Slaughterhouse, but it
was an unofficial match. And, there was bad blood between Desperado and
Lethal prior to that match. As far as Booker Frenck's rise to power,
it has been a real plus to the SWF. He is bringing back SWF Around The
World, with a full announcing crew in a couple weeks, He has increased
the public relations portion of the SWF, he has even go so far as to
resurrect and redesign the SWF web page which will be on line in about a
week. So don't go making Booker Frenck out to be a bad guy cuz he's
not.
VM: Well, I'd like to argue this further, but it's time for the
introductions.
RR: The following match is a SWF Title Swap match. Introducing first,
being led to the ring by his manager, Deadly, from Detroit, Michigan,
weighing in at 256 pounds, here is the SWF Tough Man Champion, Lethal!!
[Police Sirens blare as Deadly and Lethal make their way to the ring.
Lethal has several noticeable bruises and cuts. The crowd boos loudly.]
VM: I'd have to say that you were right Johnny. Lethal does not look
like he is ready for this match. I think he needs more time to
recupperate from last night.
RR: And his opponent, being led to the ring by his manager, Paul Von
Braun, from Sudbury, Canada, weighing in at 340 pounds, here is the SWF
World Champion, Doug Bacon!!
[A heavy metal version of "99 bottles" blares as Doug and Paul walk down
to the ring as the crowd continues to boo.]
VM: Neither men seem to be the crowd favorite.
JV: Doug has a huge advantage in the fact that he didn't wrestle last
night. Not only did Lethal get banged up last night, but he had to
spend today, like the rest of the wrestlers, traveling from Dallas to
here in Las Vegas.
[They lock up.
Lethal goes for a chinlock deathlock submission, but Doug Bacon blocks it.
Doug Bacon whips Lethal into the ropes.
Doug Bacon nails him with a spinning power bomb.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, kickout.
Lethal catches him in an inside cradle.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, kickout.]
VM: Both men with very quick pin attempts there.
[Lethal executes a kneebreaker.
Lethal goes for the Poison Ivy, but Doug Bacon counters it with a
facebite.]
JV: and Lethal is doing the smart thing by trying to end it early. The
longer this match goes, the bigger of an advantage that Bacon is going
to have. Unfortunatly for Lethal, his attempt to apply the Poison Ivy
failed.
[Doug Bacon goes for a tiger driver, but Lethal blocks it.
Lethal whips Doug Bacon into the ropes.
Lethal hits Doug Bacon with a kick.
Lethal goes for an inside cradle, but Doug Bacon blocks it.
Doug Bacon goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but Lethal counters it with
a duck-down move.
Lethal executes a low blow.]
VM: Lethal actually seems to be in control right now.
[Lethal executes a double chickenwing submission.]
JV: This is what Lethal needs to do. Submission holds allow him to
conserve his stregnth and wear down Doug.
[Doug Bacon reaches the ropes after being trapped for 10 seconds.
Lethal nails him with a double chickenwing submission.
Doug Bacon reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.]
VM: I'm not sure what Lethal was thinking there by re-applying that
double chikenwing while Doug was right there at the ropes.
JV: and how ome no one uses a single chickenwing?
[Lethal whips Doug Bacon into the ropes.
Lethal hits Doug Bacon with an elbow.
Lethal goes for a flying dropkick, but Doug Bacon counters it with
a duck-down move.
Doug Bacon catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, kickout.]
VM: Nicely executed belly-to-belly suplex there by the World champ.
[Doug Bacon nails him with a reverse neckbreaker.
Doug Bacon goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Lethal counters it with a backdrop.
Lethal nails him with a bridging back suplex.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, kickout.]
VM: and now Lethal goes for the pin.
JV: It's nice to have a normal referee. Did you see who they had as
ref's earlier? Some guy in a superman costume and some guy named
Georgio.
[Doug Bacon goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Lethal blocks it.
Lethal throws Doug Bacon out of the ring.
Lethal goes through the ropes.
Deadly comes from behind, but Doug Bacon nails Deadly.]
VM: Outside they go.
JV: Bacon didn't notice the brass knuckles that Deadly dropped!
[Lethal picks up the brass knuckles.
Lethal hits him with the knuckles.
Doug Bacon is busted wide open.
Lethal hits him with the knuckles.]
VM: A couple hits with the brass knuckles creates a huge gash on the
side of Doug Bacon's face.
[Doug Bacon sets up a table.
They're brawling on the floor.
Doug Bacon reenters the ring.
Lethal follows him back in.]
VM: It look like Doug was going to try to use that table but changed his
mind.
JV: Well there really is no reason to take this hardcore. All that does
is give a lethal a chance to even things out.
[Doug Bacon runs into the ropes.
Doug Bacon hits Lethal with a clothesline.
Doug Bacon goes over to his corner and chugs down a beer.]
JV: And Doug decided to go over and enjoy a ice cold bottle of Tony's
Underground Brew.
[Doug Bacon whips Lethal into the ropes.
Lethal misses with a kick.
Doug Bacon and Lethal get hit with a double clothesline.]
VM: Both men go down, but Doug quickly gets back to his feet.
[Doug Bacon executes an elbowsmash.
Doug Bacon throws Lethal out of the ring.
Doug Bacon goes through the ropes.
Doug Bacon catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Doug Bacon knocks Lethal into the ringpost.
Doug Bacon sets up Lethal on the table.
Doug Bacon executes a power bomb through the table.
The table is broken in half.]
VM: HUGE powerbomb through the table. And Lethal is hurt!
JV: Well the gamble payed off that time. If Lethal had driven Bacon
through the table, this match would be pretty even.
[Lethal throws Doug Bacon back into the ring.
Lethal goes for a bow-and-arrow submission, but Doug Bacon blocks it.
Doug Bacon goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Lethal counters it with a backdrop.
Lethal goes for a cobra clutch, but Doug Bacon counters it with
an armdrag takedown.
In turn, Lethal counters it with a lariat.]
VM: Lethal is able to shrug off the effects of that powerbomb and is
back in control.
[Lethal whips Doug Bacon into the ropes.
Doug Bacon misses with a clothesline.
Lethal hits Doug Bacon with an elbow.
Lethal takes him down with a flying sunset flip.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, in the ropes...]
JV: Had Bacon just been a few inches further away from that bottom rope,
we would've had new Tough Man and World champs.
VM: Where's Lethal going? Is he walking out?
[Lethal leaves the ring.
He returns with brass knuckles.
Lethal hits him with the knuckles.
Sean Ceigersmidt throws the knuckles out of the ring.]
JV: Nope he just went to get those knux back.
VM: Except Sean's thrown them back out.
[Lethal takes him down with a double chickenwing submission.
Doug Bacon reaches the ropes after being trapped for 7 seconds.
Lethal runs into the ropes.
Lethal hits Doug Bacon with a kick.
Lethal takes him down with a dropkick to the knee.]
VM: Considering, the condition of Lethal, I have been very impressed
with how he is doing. If he doesn't win tonight, I think that maybe
the fed heads should consider a rematch, where Lethal has not wrestled
the night before.
[Lethal nails him with a kneelock submission.
Doug Bacon reaches the ropes after being trapped for 7 seconds.
Lethal takes him down with a camel clutch.
Doug Bacon reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Lethal leaves the ring.]
VM: And again Lethal is heading out of the ring.
JV: But he's uping the ante this time.
[He returns with a frying pan.
Lethal takes a swing at Doug Bacon with the frying pan, but
he gets out of the way.
Doug Bacon snatches the frying pan from him.
Doug Bacon hits him with the frying pan.]
VM: Only Bacon is the one that was able to use the frying pan.
JV: I really want to know why these fans bring these objects to the
events.
[Doug Bacon goes for a power bomb, but Lethal blocks it.
Lethal whips Doug Bacon into the turnbuckle, but Doug Bacon reverses it.
Lethal comes back and rocks Doug Bacon with a flying lariat.
Lethal catches him in an inside cradle.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.]
VM: Bacon was just a spit second away from losing his World belt.
[Lethal executes a flying cross body press.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.]
VM: And again Lethal almost had Doug pinned there!
[Lethal executes a flying dropkick.
Lethal goes for a dropkick to the knee, but Doug Bacon counters it with
a side step.]
JV: Lethal went for that dropkick one too many times.
VM: And now Doug is straddling Lethal.
[Doug Bacon executes a camel clutch.]
JV: Doug has the camel clutch on tight right in the middle of the ring.
VM: And you can here Lethal screaming in pain, but he refuses to give
up.
JV: This has got to be killing Lethal. He took a lot of damage to his
neck and back last night, and this is only making things worse.
VM: Doug is yelling at Lethal to submit!
JV: But Lethal keeps yeliing "no."
VM: No! Lethal is now shaking his head up and down!
[Lethal submits after 33 seconds.]
VM: And the camel clutch became just too much. Lethal may not have won
the World belt, but he still has the Tough Man Belt.
JV: And he did put up a decent performance conisdering the beating he
took last night. Of course even on a good day, he wouldn't have been
able to beat Doug.
VM: Well that is it for the Pot of Gold PPV. There will be no
Triumphant Tuesday this week since we had the PPV.
JV: They get Tuesday off but we had to work 2 days in the row?!?!
That's it. Get my agent on the phone.
VM: Well at least I will be back for Slaughterhouse on Saturday. So
until then, for the entire SWF braodcast crew, good night.
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