[Scene shows the SWF symbol]
Voice: The SWF... The First of Many Firework filled Nights
[A military general is walks into what appears to be briefing room. He stares
with a nasty look in his face in the direction of the camera. The view now
switches to the general's point of view. There are eight men lined up in military
costume all standing at order. The general starts to walk up and down the line.
The camera shows close ups of the intense faces of Mr. America, The Vigilante,
Doug Bacon, Phoenix, "Hardcore" Billy Talent, Dr. Hate and Jagged Edge...
when it gets to the end of the line it sees Moon Dog Gator smiling.. he lunges
towards the camera and starts licking it. The screen engulfs in flames and it
now shows the SWF World Championship filling up the whole screen.]
Voice: Gold can make people do strange things.
<<>>
[Kim Kelly comes from behind, but Moon Dog Gator nails Kim Kelly.
The crowd gasps.]
CC: Oh my gawd!
---------------------------------------
[Mr. America is in the locker room.]
MA-Vigilante, it's time to learn that you're style of justice isn't
anything compared to my technical grace in the ring. I'll beat
you now and I'll beat you in the tournament
----------------------------------------
[All of a sudden Jagged Edge runs out from the curtains.
The crowd stands up]
RJ: Hey! It's Jagged Edge!
CC: My gawd no!
[Jagged Edge attacks Mr. America from behind dropping him
with a knee to the back and he starts to punch him, officials run
out and escort Jagged Edge away from Mr. America]
----------------------------------------
[Mr. America executes the Made in America and goes for the pin.
The crowd gasps]
TR: MADE-IN-AMERICA! YES!
RJ: He hit it! This one is over!
[Superman counts: One, two, three.]
-----------------------------------------
[Phoenix is standing there watching the monitor.]
Phoenix-Talentless, you will be beaten down by me on the 11th.
That marks the second year of our reign of destruction. The
Underground will celebrate on that day as we will claim yet one more
world champion.
-----------------------------------------
Moon Dog-Dadadadadadoug Ba....Ba...Bacon, Moon Dog is gonna
get you on
May 11th. May 11th is my birthday. May 11th is Momma's day.
Moon dog
gonna get a big present on my birthday. It gonna be gold and hold my
pa..ta..pants up. It am gonna be the SWF championship. I
beat...beat..beat you first for them belt. Bacon....momma
day...bacon..momma day. Momma, she one time got mad at Moon
Dog. Moon
Doug wanted to make it up to her. Ma...ma..Moon Dog tried to fry her up
some Bacon. Moon Dog heated up some grease. Then Moon Dog
whent out and
killed him a hog. Moon Dog cut the hog's head off and brought it inside.
It smelled bad, but Moon Dog wanted to make momma breakfast.
Moon Dog
threw the head into the frying pan....BOOOM!!! Grease flew all over
Moon
Dog. It hurt...Moon Dog burned. Moon Dog took momma her breakfast
anyway. Momma didn't like her breakfast. She screamed at Moon Dog.
Moon
dog cried. Why momma not like breakfast. Moon Dog liked breakfast.
Moon
Dog gonna get you Mr.Bacon. Mr.America like Mr.Bacon, but Moon
Dog gotta
beat Mr.Bacon... so he aint get yelled at anymore.
-----------------------------------------
[Doug Bacon runs into the ropes.
Doug Bacon takes him down with the Running Forearm Smash.]
RJ: What impact! He really nailed Phoenix with that Forearm Smash.. .
quick cover!
[Superman counts: One, two, three.
The crowd rises to their feet]
------------------------------------------
[Scene shows Captain Canuck standing on a bridge that was build over
top of Camden Yards. The wind is blowing through his hair and he's
wearing a Canadian flag as a cape]
CC: Lets Do It!!!!!!
[Captain Canuck jumps and there is a bungee cord attached to his ankle.
The crowd goes nuts as Canuck falls towards the ring, the cord holds him
in the air just before hitting the ring with his head and after he bounces up
and down a couple of times ring announcer Joe Hall undoes the rope and
Canuck flips out and lands on his feet. The crowd goes ballistic as he is
handed a microphone.]
CC: Welcome to World Title Mania!!
[huge crowd pop]
CC: Welcome to Camden Yards!!
[another huge pop]
CC: Are you ready to crown the first ever SWF champion?
[yet another huge pop]
CC: First, let me introduce our guest referee.. [shocked] Joe Camel!
No one informed me of this!!
[Joe Camel walks out from the Bullpen would be, at the bullpen door is a
big picture of an Oriole surrounded by fire and as Joe Camel walks out
flaming fireworks things come out of the Oriole's eyes. Joe Camel than
begins throwing packs of something into the audience]
CC: Hey, what's that!?
[Joe Camel holds up the pack and the camera zooms in on it. It says
"Candy Cigarettes" Joe Camel breaks down laughing. Captain Canuck
had an annoyed look on his face and he turns away]
CC: Very funny. OK, now it's time for the national anthems of both North
American countries. Here to sing the Canadian national anthem, my good
friends.. Raine, Mike, Duncan and Jeremy... Our Lady Peace!!!
[Our Lady Peace appear in the middle of the crowd on a platform and play
a rock version of OH Canada as everyone stands. The camera occasionally
shows Captain Canuck staring at the Canadian flag with pride signing the
words. As the anthem ends the fans clap politely. Captain Canuck has a tear
in his eye.]
CC: Wow! That was just great. Now, to perform the national anthem of
Canada's good friends and your home country of America. The legend...
The Honky Tonk Man!
[The Honky Tonk Man walks out all dressed up and is booed viciously. He
gets into the ring and starts dancing around.]
HTM: Hey y'all! So does everyone want to hear me sing? [loud boos] Hey!
If I don't get some respect I won't sing! Now, does everyone want to hear me
sing? [louder boos] I thought you'd change your mind...[signing] Jose can you
see, from the glove of Clemens, the Rocket's red glare... [loud boos] What?
You people have no respect for your own country? You sicken me!!
[Honky Tonk Man leaves and Captain Canuck looks a bit confused]
CC: Well... I... Is anybody here a signer?
[Suddenly Tony Bennett appears out of the Bullpen, the crowd goes nuts!]
CC: Wow! All the way from the GEWA... Tony Bennett! [someone whispers
something in Captain Canuck's ear] Oh.. and I hear he's quite a signer too.
[Tony Bennett gets into the ring and signs the American national anthem. As it
comes to a close the fans all stand up and go nuts.]
CC: That was fantastic!
[Tony leaves]
CC: Than lets not wait another second! Take it away Donovan and Paul!!
[The scene cuts to where Donovan Thomas and Paul VonBraun are sitting.
There are screaming fans right behind them]
DT: Thanks and welcome to the SWF pay per view. We're here to call four
matches for the night. Up next we have a great anticipated match for you.
PVB: Yep, America's Perfection gets to whoop up on somebody. I mean
he already did it once.
DT: Let's take it to the Joe Hall for the introductions.
JH: Introducing first! From Newark, New Jersey! He stands 6'07" and
weighs in at 289lbs. Here is the Vigilante!
["Uprising" by Damn Yankess plays as the crowd gives a good reaction. The
Vigilante walks out of the bullpen and down to the ring focusing on it as the
music plays. He climbs into the ring and tests the ropes.]
DT: The Vigilante is one with a weird past. He's a former police officer
that has taken justice into his own hands.
PVB: One of those above the law kinda guys right? He's a hypocrite.
DT: He really doesn't care about that because he's doing it for the greater
good of man.
JH: His opponent! Hailing from Washington D.C. He stands 6'04" and weighs
in at 278lbs. Here is what every American aspires to be, Mr. America!
[As the opening guitar rift rips through the air, the fans, that are
American, go crazy. The lights dim as Mr. America walks out from the bullpen
to the first chorus, and the fans sing the words to the chorus Mr. America wears a
jacket with the American flag on the front and back of it, and takes that
off. As the second verse starts Mr. America takes off his jacket. The
second chorus starts up and the fans sing the chorus again. Mr. America
climbs into the ring at this point as the guitar solo begins to play. The
guitar solo rips through the air and red, white, and blue lights and
firewords flicker as Mr. America poses some. The third chorus starts as
the fans are on their feet. Mr. America climbs a turnbuckle and do yell,
"I'm what every American aspires to be!" After the thrid chorus ends, the
music dies.]
PVB: I have to love this guy's entrance! He's not America's Perfection for
nothing.
DT: Mr. America is talking with Joe Camel and here comes the Vigilante!
[The Vigilante attacks Mr. America before the bell. The Vigilante places
Mr. America on the turnbuckle.]
DT: The Vigilante is wasting no time! He's going right after Mr. America!
PVB: That's a mistake. This guy can beat up on Rodney King all he wants,
but Mr. America knows how to fight back and especially in the ring!
[The Vigilante goes for a top-rope DDT, but Mr. America counters it with a
front-layout superplex.]
DT: Mr. America showing off his technical ring style. I'll say he may have
the technical game, but he doesn't want to go toe to toe with the
Vigilante or he will lose.
[Mr. America points to himself and yells, "I'm what every America aspires
to be!".
The Bell rings]
PVB: Preach on brother America!
[Mr. America attempts to place The Vigilante on the turnbuckle, but The
Vigilante blocks it. Mr. America goes for a tiger driver, but The
Vigilante counters it with a backdrop. Mr. America executes a flying
forearm.]
DT: Mr. America backdropped, but he gets right back to his feet and levels
the Vigliante with a flying forearm!
PVB: Here's a cover!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
DT: The Vigilante kicks out. I believe that the Vigilante can take a lot
of punishment. He was an ex-cop and he's probably been in a few scuffles
before.
PVB: Mr. America has taken beatings as well. He's got great cardiovascular
conditioning.
[Mr. America takes him down with a flying bulldog. Mr. America nails him
with a front-layout superplex. Mr. America executes a backdrop driver.
Mr. America points to himself and yells, "I'm what every America aspires
to be!".]
DT: Mr. America takes time out to work the crowd. It's been all him thus
far in the match. He's using his power to hit those high impact moves.
PVB: This looks like it's going to be a power style match. The Vigilante
is bigger than Mr. America, but not by much.
[Mr. America whips The Vigilante into the ropes. The Vigilante misses
with a kick. The Vigilante hits Mr. America with a kick. The Vigilante
goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Mr. America counters it with an
enzuilariato. Mr. America executes an armbar submission.]
DT: Mr. America with a kick to the back of the head of the Vigilante and he
locks on an armbar.
PVB: The Vigilante isn't going for the ropes either.
[The Vigilante breaks the hold after 13 seconds.]
DT: He breaks the hold with an elbow to the nose. He pulls Mr. America
up to a vertical base!
[The Vigilante nails him with a gutwrench suplex. The Vigilante throws
Mr. America out of the ring. The Vigilante goes through the ropes.]
PVB: This isn't where the Vigilante wants to go. Mr. America knows how to
take advantage on the outside of the ring.
DT: That's true, but I think the Vigilante can match Mr. America out there.
He was on the streets with people more dangerous than Mr. America.
PVB: True because America isn't a psycho.
[They're brawling on the floor. The Vigilante knocks Mr. America into the
ringpost. The Vigilante takes him down with a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Mr.
America executes the Made in America on the concrete floor.]
DT: Oh my!
PVB: Oh yeah!
DT: Mr. America with that leaping piledriver finisher on the concrete
floor.
PVB: Since the Vigilante can't wear any head gear out there, that's gonna
hurt.
[The Vigilante is out cold.]
DT: The Vigilante took the brunt of that on his head. He looks out of it.
[Mr. America whips The Vigilante into the guardrail. Mr. America throws
The Vigilante back into the ring. Mr. America whips The Vigilante into
the ropes. Mr. America misses with a kick. Mr. America hits The
Vigilante with a backdrop. The Vigilante falls out of the ring.]
PVB: That's not any better. The Vigilante gets backdropped right over the
top rope and falls about ten feet to the arena floor.
[Joe Camel counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, The Vigilante
reenters the ring. Mr. America throws The Vigilante out of the ring. Joe
Camel counts: one, The Vigilante reenters the ring.]
DT: Mr. America threw him out of the ring again, but this time the
Vigilante got right back to his feet and came right back into the ring.
[Mr. America whips The Vigilante into the ropes. Mr. America goes for a
clawhold, but The Vigilante blocks it. The Vigilante gives him a
tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Mr. America doesn't sell it at all. The
Vigilante goes for a double chickenwing submission, but Mr. America blocks
it. Mr. America goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but The Vigilante
counters it with a duck-down move.]
DT: Both men battling back and forth unable to hit a move.
[The Vigilante whips Mr. America into the turnbuckle. The Vigilante
executes a reverse neckbreaker. The Vigilante runs into the ropes. The
Vigilante hits Mr. America with a kick. The Vigilante nails him with a
reverse neckbreaker.]
PVB: He's going to work on America's neck. He needs to soften that back
up, so the Made in America is even less effective.
DT: That's a good point Paul and for once you're not being biased.
PVB: Well, why should I be? Most of the guys around here look like they're
half way decent.
[The Vigilante executes a thrust kick to the head. The Vigilante runs
into the ropes. Mr. America takes him down with a fist to the midsection.
Mr. America executes the Made in America and goes for the pin.]
DT: He doubles the Vigilante over and hits his finisher again! Here's the
cover this time!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, three.]
PVB: That'll do it!
DT: After getting hit with the Made in America on the concrete floor, the
Vigilante just wasn't able to rebound from it.
JH: The winner of the match, and moving into the A-Side of World Title
Mania... Mr. America!
["Highway to Hell" by AC/DC plays as Mr. America rolls out of the ring.
He walks back up the aisle. The Vigilante gets to his knees and shakes
off the Made in America. He rolls out of the ring and follows Mr. America
back up the aisle.]
PVB: Well, I gotta go to the corner of Doug. He's up next you know.
[Paul VonBraun gets up and walks over to a corner.]
DT: While Paul attends to his managerial duties, we'll go back to the ring
announcer for the introductions to our next match.
JH: Introducing first! Hailing from Sudbury, Ontario, Canada. He stands
6'07" and weighs in at 340lbs. Here is "Beer Drinking" Doug Bacon!
[A heavy metal version of "99 Bottles of Beeer on the Wall" plays as the
fans give him a mixed reaction. Doug Bacon walks out from the bullpen and
down to the ring with a 12 pack of beer. He sets the beer into his corner and
climbs into the ring.]
DT: Doug is a firm believer that drinking his beer will help him out.
JH: His opponent! Hailing from Jackson, Mississippi and accompanied to the
ring by Mr. America. He stands 6'05" and weighs in at 370lbs. Here is
Moon Dog Gator!
["Bring the Noise" by Public Enemy and Anthrax plays as the fans give a
mixed reaction. Mr. America leads Moon Dog Gator down to the ring. Moon
Dog Gator barks and scratches his head as some of the younger fans bark
back at him. Moon Dog Gator and Mr. America climb into the ring. Mr.
America walks over and talks to Doug Bacon while Moon Dog Gator keeps
barking. Mr. America walks back over to Moon Dog and says a few things
and then exits the ring.]
DT: This should be what Mr. America wants. To give Moon Dog some training
against a former world champion. Mr. America pulls out a pack of camel
smokes. What's he doing?
[Mr. America tosses the camels to Joe Camel.]
MA: Smoke 'em if ya got 'em.
DT: Always trying to be a sarcastic. There's the bell.
[The Bell Rings
They lock up. Moon Dog Gator nails him with an elbowsmash. Moon Dog
Gator goes for the D-Dog-T, but Doug Bacon counters it with a Hotshot.]
DT: Moon Dog went for his DDT onto the first turnbuckle finisher, but Doug
Bacon must have been scouting. He hotshots Moon Dog right across the top
rope to avoid it!
[Doug Bacon catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.]
DT: Huge belly-to-belly suplex by Doug Bacon! He's got a leg hooked and
this could do it!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, KICKOUT.]
DT: Moon Dog with a monster kickout.
[Moon Dog Gator scratches his head furiously as he barks.]
DT: Moon Dog barking and Doug Bacon looks a bit confused at those antics.
[Moon Dog Gator goes for a headbutt, but Doug Bacon blocks it. Doug Bacon
whips Moon Dog Gator into the turnbuckle. Doug Bacon charges into the
corner. Doug Bacon places Moon Dog Gator on the turnbuckle. Doug Bacon
nails him with a belly-to-back superplex. Doug Bacon nails him with a
flying headbutt.]
DT: Doug Bacon comes right back to offense with a flying headbutt off the
top turnbuckle! He goes for the cover!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
DT: Count of two and Moon Dog kicked out.
[Doug Bacon runs into the ropes. Doug Bacon hits Moon Dog Gator with a
kick. Doug Bacon goes over to his corner and chugs down a beer.]
DT: Doug Bacon takes a breather and chugs down a whole can of beer.
[Moon Dog Gator begs off. Doug Bacon attemps to place Moon Dog Gator on
the turnbuckle, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it. Doug Bacon takes him down
with a spinning power bomb.]
DT: Moon Dog blocked being put onto the turnbuckle, but Bacon with a
spinning power bomb!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
DT: Moon Dog kicks out again. Doug Bacon has controlled this match so far.
He's looking like his old championship self.
[Doug Bacon executes a sleeperhold. Moon Dog Gator reaches the ropes
after being trapped for 5 seconds. Doug Bacon gives him a front-layout
superplex, but Moon Dog Gator doesn't sell it at all. Doug Bacon nails
him with a flying bodypress.]
DT: He comes off the top buckle with a splash! He hooks Moon Dog's leg and
here's the count!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
DT: Doug Bacon couldn't keep Moon Dog down. Bacon has the height advantage
by about two inches and Moon Dog has thirty pounds over him in weight.
This should be a great power match.
[Doug Bacon runs into the ropes. Doug Bacon hits Moon Dog Gator with a
kick. Doug Bacon catches him in a power bomb.]
DT: Doug Bacon is using just about every power bomb in the book here
tonight!
[Joe Camel counts: One, shoulder up. Moon Dog Gator begs off.]
DT: That time Moon Dog didn't stay down long.
[Doug Bacon nails him with a flying headbutt. Joe Camel counts: One, two,
shoulder up.]
DT: Bacon only gets a two count after another flying headbutt.
[Doug Bacon executes a front-layout superplex. Doug Bacon places Moon Dog
Gator on the turnbuckle. Doug Bacon catches him in a belly-to-belly
superplex.]
DT: Doug Bacon comes back with a combination of superplexes! He hits that
belly-to-belly and goes for the pin, but doesn't hook a leg!
[Joe Camel counts: One, kickout. Doug Bacon catches him in a power bomb.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
DT: Bacon only gets one from that superplex and then tried for the pin
with a power bomb, but Moon Dog Gator kicked out.
[Doug Bacon goes for a jack-knife power bomb, but Moon Dog Gator counters
it with a backdrop. Moon Dog Gator goes for a roundhouse right, but Doug
Bacon blocks it. Doug Bacon executes a jack-knife power bomb.]
DT: Moon Dog countered that first jack-knife attempt, but Bacon hits it
the second time!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout. Doug Bacon executes a camel clutch.
Moon Dog Gator reaches the ropes after being trapped for 8 seconds. Doug
Bacon whips Moon Dog Gator into the ropes. Doug Bacon hits Moon Dog Gator
with a kick. Doug Bacon goes over to his corner and chugs down a beer.]
DT: Bacon takes another time out to chug down a beer. He's only got ten
left. I hope he brought enough with him.
[Doug Bacon whips Moon Dog Gator into the ropes. Moon Dog Gator nails him
with a bearhug. Doug Bacon reaches the ropes after being trapped for 25
seconds. Moon Dog Gator executes a powerslam.]
DT: Moon Dog is finally showing signs of life here. He had that bearhug
clamped on for almost 30 seconds and follows it up with a powerslam!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
DT: Moon Dog only got a two count and Mr. America is saying something about
he needed to hook the leg.
[Moon Dog Gator throws Doug Bacon out of the ring. Moon Dog Gator goes
through the ropes.]
DT: The action spills to the outside of the ring.
[They're brawling on the floor. They're brawling on the floor. Doug
Bacon whips Moon Dog Gator into the guardrail. Moon Dog Gator nails him
with a roundhouse right. They're brawling on the floor. They're brawling
on the floor. Moon Dog Gator knocks Doug Bacon into the ringsteps. Doug
Bacon whips Moon Dog Gator into the guardrail. Paul VonBraun comes from
behind and distracts Moon Dog Gator.]
DT: Paul gets the attention of Moon Dog and Doug Bacon heads back into
the ring. Paul could've been nailed there.
[Doug Bacon reenters the ring. Moon Dog Gator follows him back in. Doug
Bacon takes him down with a reverse neckbreaker. Doug Bacon nails him
with an armbar submission. Moon Dog Gator reaches the ropes after being
trapped for 5 seconds. Doug Bacon throws Moon Dog Gator out of the ring.
Joe Camel counts: one, two, three, four, Moon Dog Gator reenters the ring.
Doug Bacon attemps to place Moon Dog Gator on the turnbuckle, but Moon Dog
Gator blocks it. Doug Bacon whips Moon Dog Gator into the ropes. Doug
Bacon takes him down with a Russian legsweep. Doug Bacon attemps to place
Moon Dog Gator on the turnbuckle, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it.]
DT: Bacon with a Russian Legsweep and went to put Moon Dog onto the
turnbuckle. Moon Dog better be glad he did that because I think Bacon was
going for his Fried Bacon top-rope DDT finisher.
[Doug Bacon nails him with an armbar submission. Moon Dog Gator reaches
the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Doug Bacon goes for a power
bomb, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it. Moon Dog Gator nails him with a snap
mare. Moon Dog Gator whips Doug Bacon into the ropes. Moon Dog Gator
goes for a thrust kick to the head, but Doug Bacon counters it with a
duck-down move. Doug Bacon nails him with a short lariat.]
DT: Bacon ducks a thurst kick to the head and rebounds off the ropes with
a short lariat! He took Moon Dog's head off!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout. Moon Dog Gator begs off. Doug
Bacon takes him down with the Running Forearm Smash. Joe Camel counts:
One, kickout.]
DT: He only gets a one count after that flying forearm attempt.
[Doug Bacon whips Moon Dog Gator into the ropes, but Moon Dog Gator
reverses it. Moon Dog Gator hits Doug Bacon with an elbow. Moon Dog
Gator takes him down with a facebite. Moon Dog Gator runs into the ropes.
Doug Bacon takes him down with a short lariat.]
DT: Bacon put a stop to Moon Dog's momentum with another short lariat!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
DT: Moon Dog kicks out before three.
[Moon Dog Gator goes for a facebite, but Doug Bacon counters it with a
kneelift. Doug Bacon runs into the ropes. Doug Bacon hits Moon Dog Gator
with a backdrop. Moon Dog Gator falls out of the ring. Doug Bacon goes
through the ropes. Doug Bacon executes a sleeperhold. Doug Bacon nails
him with an elbowsmash. Doug Bacon throws Moon Dog Gator back into the
ring. Moon Dog Gator begs off. Doug Bacon takes him down with a Russian
legsweep. Doug Bacon goes over to his corner and chugs down a beer.]
DT: There's beer number three for the match. I think Bacon is ready to put
this one away with his finisher!
[Doug Bacon places Moon Dog Gator on the turnbuckle. Doug Bacon goes for
the Fried Bacon, but Moon Dog Gator counters it with a front-layout
superplex.]
DT: Mr. America did a good job with helping Moon Dog scout that finisher.
Moon Dog with a front-layout superplex to counter that top-rope DDT
finisher by Bacon.
[Moon Dog Gator nails him with a kneeling headbutt. Moon Dog Gator goes
for a headbutt, but Doug Bacon blocks it. Doug Bacon goes for a reverse
neckbreaker, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it. Moon Dog Gator nails him with
a double chickenwing submission. Moon Dog Gator lets go after 22 seconds.
Moon Dog Gator whips Doug Bacon into the ropes. Doug Bacon gives him a
sleeperhold, but Moon Dog Gator doesn't sell it at all. Doug Bacon goes
for a clawhold, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it. Moon Dog Gator takes him
down with a swinging punch. Moon Dog Gator executes a bearhug. Moon Dog
Gator lets go after 18 seconds. Moon Dog Gator nails him with a headbutt.
Moon Dog Gator nails him with the Doctor Bomb.]
DT: It looks like Doug Bacon is wearing out. Moon Dog has control of the
match for a consistent time. He comes back with a variation of a power
bomb in the Doctor Bomb. It's a gutwrench suplex into a power bomb.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
DT: Count of two and Doug Bacon kicks out. VonBraun yells to Bacon to get
another beer.
[Moon Dog Gator whips Doug Bacon into the ropes. Doug Bacon executes a
flying forearm. Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
DT: A surprise move on the part of Doug Bacon. He snapped that flying
forearm out of nowhere and almost got the pin.
[Doug Bacon executes a short lariat. Joe Camel counts: One, two,
kickout.]
DT: A two count after a short lariat.
[Doug Bacon whips Moon Dog Gator into the ropes. Moon Dog Gator nails him
with a thrust kick to the head. Moon Dog Gator goes for a chinlock
deathlock submission, but Doug Bacon blocks it. Doug Bacon runs into the
ropes. Doug Bacon misses with a clothesline. Doug Bacon hits Moon Dog
Gator with a shoulderblock. Doug Bacon executes the Running Forearm
Smash.]
DT: Bacon with a huge running forearm smash! That move won him his
match with Phoenix.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout. Doug Bacon whips Moon Dog Gator
into the ropes, but Moon Dog Gator reverses it. Doug Bacon executes the
Running Forearm Smash.]
DT: Bacon mounting a come back of sorts! He hits another running forearm
smash and goes for the pin!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout. Moon Dog Gator begs off. Moon Dog
Gator whips Doug Bacon into the ropes, but Doug Bacon reverses it. Doug
Bacon catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.]
DT: Bacon takes him over with a belly-to-belly suplex!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, three.]
DT: That's it. Doug Bacon with a win over Moon Dog Gator here tonight.
Let's get the official word.
JH-The winner of the match, and advancing to the A-Side of World Title Mania...
Doug Bacon!
[A heavy metal version of "99 Bottles" plays as Doug Bacon exits the ring.
He takes a beer out and chugs it down. He walks back up the aisle with
Paul VonBraun. Moon Dog Gator rolls out of the ring as Mr. America pats
him on the back. Mr. America and Moon Dog Gator follow Doug Bacon and
Paul VonBraun up the aisle.]
DT: Lets send it to Captain Canuck out in the audience. Paul and I will be back
later on.
[Scene switches to Captain Canuck in a mass of fans. They are all going nuts
and moving in tight so they can get on camera. Lots of people have their faces
painted and there are signs all over the place.]
CC: Hey folks, it's the Captain out here in the audience and boy I'll tell ya' it's
just nuts! These fans are the best in the world, no doubt about it!
[more cheering]
CC: I'll be going all across the building to pick up some crowd reaction to the
events and I'll be with Tom and Robert during the final match. Lets talk to Bob
over here. Hey Bob, how you doing?
Bob: Great! Wooooo! Hi Mom!!!
CC: What do you think of this so far?
Bob: Man, it's awesome, the feel of an awesome outdoor rockshow and the
excitement and violence of wrestling man!
CC: Well wrestling isn't about the violence... lets not get into that. Who's
gonna win tonight.
Bob: Underground Captain, I'd have to say Dr. Hate, if he beats Jagged Edge,
will be on a big enough roll to take it.
[the fans around him boo]
Bob: Jealous!
CC: I'd say smart. Lets go to Gabe Zachery-Colbert at the World Title Mania
control centre.
[scene switches to Gabe Zachery-Colbert at a SWF Desk this time. There are
two massive screens to the ring and left of him.]
GZC: Hey fans, Gabe Zhachery-Colbert here. Lets take one final look at the rules
for tonight's event.
There are 4 matches.
The winners of the 4 matches move on to the A-Side
The losers of the 4 matches move on to the B-Side
A-SIDE
======
There will be 2 semi-final matches and a final match. The losers of
those matches are out.
B-SIDE
======
Same as A-Side.
FINALS
======
The A-Side winner will face the B-Side winner in a match that forces
the B-Side winner to pin his opponent twice before he is pinned once.
GZC: Now, we've already had the first two matches of the night and since
Mr. America beat the Vigilante and Doug Bacon beat Moon Dog Gator,
Mr. America and Doug Bacon head over to the A-Side and Moon Dog and
The Vigilante are forced over to the B-Side where it'll be a much tougher
road to gold. A least they aren't done for the night, they should be thankful.
Before we go back to ringside lets check in on the SWF Hotline room.
[Camera shows a room where Jesse Aires, Desperado and Sean O'Brien are
talking on the phone.]
To talk to Jesse Aires, Desperado or his manager Seaon O'Brien call the SWF
World Title Mania hotline at 1-900-555-SWF1. Later in the night the
eliminated wrestlers will be on their way to the hotline room, and you never know
who else might show up, maybe even Kim Kelly! Oh my!
I'll see you folks later, lets go back to ringside, this time with Donald McRonald,
Bobby Heenan and Lionheart Louis.
[Screen zooms in on Donald McRonald, Lionheart Louis, and Bobby "The Brain"
Heenan.]
DMcR: What a great evening we have here in the SWF! This is turning into a
great young league with a lot of talented wrestlers. I'm joined here today with
Bobby Heenan and Lionheart Louis.
Bob: Why the hell is Lionheart Louis even here? His two week career doesn't
make him worthy of a commentating position.
DMcR: He's been commentating longer then wrestling by about a week.
Bob: Good point.
Louis: Bobby, Donald, it's an honour to be in ringside with you guys once again.
We had some great times together earlier.
Bob: You know, you're still the little sissy looser you were before. Gee, the guy
that keeps his body in shape, the guy that's always doing weights, a lot that's
done for your wrestling career!
DMcR: Okay guys, let's keep it down. We have to show our professionalism
here tonight.
Bob: Ha! That won't take long.
DMcR: Let's go ringside.
JH: The next match is scheduled for one fall. First, coming down
ringside lead by his paramedic, he is Hardcore Billy Talent!
["Ready, Steady, Go!" by The Mieces plays over the speakers as Hardcore Billy
Talent makes his way ringside.]
JH: Next, coming down ringside from Tennessee, he is 333 pounds, SWF
gives you Phoenix!
["Shitlist" by L7 begins playing as Phoenix walks out to the ring area. He stops
just at the entry wait to the ring, where flames shoot out of the Oriole's eyes. He looks
around at the women near the ring area, with a few of them going crazy after
seeing him. He looks at his opponent with a glare of confidence. He then climbs
into the ring.]
DMcR: Who do you like in this one?
Louis: You have to say Phoenix with his good athletic ability. Hardcore Billy
Talent should offer Phoenix a chance though.
Bob: That's no fun, I think Phoenix is going to win too.
[The Bell Rings.They lock up. Phoenix executes a Samoan Drop. Phoenix takes him
down with an octopus hold.
Hardcore Billy Talent reaches the ropes after being trapped for
8 seconds. Phoenix goes for a clawhold, but Hardcore Billy Talent blocks it.
Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a short lariat. Joe Camel counts: One,
kickout.]
Bob: Phoenix was surprised, but that won't be enough to pin him down.
DMcR: The winner of this match will of course go on to the A-Side.
Bob: And the looser will go on to the B-Side. Who thought of
this dumb tournament? You'll have a looser wrestling against a guy that won
every round.
DMcR: The 'looser' would have only lost one match, Bobby. This is a great way
to really get the SWF going.
[Phoenix nails him with a short clothesline. Phoenix takes him down with a short
clothesline. Phoenix whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the ropes. Phoenix nails
him with a flying forearm. Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout. Phoenix nails
him with a front-layout superplex. Phoenix takes him down with a double
chickenwing submission. Phoenix lets go after 12 seconds.]
DMcR: Phoenix almost playing with Hardcore Billy Talent. That double
chickenwing was locked on tight.
Louis: Not really Donald.
Bob: Oh yeah, like you would know!
[Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a knee to the back. Hardcore Billy Talent
executes a Gorilla Press. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a Yakuza kick.
Hardcore Billy Talent whips Phoenix into the ropes. Hardcore Billy Talent nails
him with a Yakuza kick. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a kick to the thigh.]
Bob: Hmmm, Hardcore, Hardcore. How come that sounds so familiar?
DMcR: Hardcore, from LAW? You know, one of the bad-asses of the UEA?
Bob: What was his name, Hardcore Rishi Talent?
DMcR: No, just Hardcore!
Bob: Doesn't ring a bell.
[Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a chokehold, but Phoenix blocks it. Phoenix nails
him with a headlock takedown. Phoenix goes for a jumping elbow thrust, but
Hardcore Billy Talent counters it with a duck-down move. Hardcore Billy Talent
takes him down with a punch. Phoenix bumps into Joe Camel.]
Bob: Ha, Ha.
Louis: Bobby, how many times do we have to go through this? These refs put
their lives on the line, it's not funny when they get hurt while performing their
duties.
Bob: Yes it is.
[Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a rolling kick. Hardcore Billy Talent executes
a bearhug. There is no referee there to ask Phoenix. Joe Camel is back on the
job. Phoenix reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Hardcore Billy
Talent whips Phoenix into the ropes. Hardcore Billy Talent hits Phoenix with a
clothesline. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a Gorilla Press.]
DMcR: Phoenix drops hard. He looks hurt.
Bob: There's nothing wrong with Phoenix.
Louis: He lost in a match against Doug Bacon! I'd say there's something wrong
with him.
Bob: Hey, shut-up! Just because your pathetic attempt to train Doug Bacon a
while back didn't work, don't come crying to me.
[Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a rolling kick. Hardcore Billy Talent
runs into the ropes. Phoenix takes him down with a headlock takedown.
Hardcore Billy Talent executes a faceslam. Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a
Gorilla Press.]
DMcR: Another huge Gorilla Press, and this time there will be a cover!
[Hardcore Billy Talent is going for the pin. Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder
up.]
Louis: The shoulder saves Phoenix.
[Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a knee to the back. Hardcore Billy
Talent runs into the ropes. Hardcore Billy Talent misses with an elbow. Phoenix
nails him with a Hotshot. Phoenix nails him with a flying headbutt.]
Bob: Phoenix not playing around anymore, now he's using his head!
[Joe Camel counts: One, shoulder up.]
DMcR: Not hard enough.
Bob: He's one of the more smarter Underground members.
DMcR: I see.
[Phoenix complains about a slow count.]
Louis: Phoenix better stop complaining and start paying attention to his wrestling
match.
[Phoenix whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the ropes. Hardcore Billy Talent nails
him with a short lariat. Joe Camel counts: One, kickout. Phoenix takes him down
with a DDT. Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a back heel kick.
Hardcore Billy Talent executes a superkick. Hardcore Billy Talent yells "Who's
Hardcore?".]
[A faint echo from the back of the stands "Not you, not you."]
DMcR: Where'd that come from?
Bob: Who is Hardcore?? Damn, that name sounds so familiar.
[Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a kick to the head. Phoenix takes him down
with a jumping DDT. Phoenix nails him with a clawhold. Hardcore Billy Talent
reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.]
DMcR: Close, too close to the ropes.
[Phoenix nails him with a short clothesline. Phoenix executes a Russian
legsweep. Phoenix nails him with a flying lariat. Phoenix nails him with a jumping
elbow thrust. Phoenix takes him down with a double chickenwing submission.
Hardcore Billy Talent reaches the ropes after being trapped for 19 seconds.]
Bob: This Billy Talentless guy looks like he has no more gas. Pathetic. He
should take up thumb-wrestling and leave the real stuff to the men.
DMcR: Bobby!
Louis: Listen Bobby, I hate this pro-Underground chip on your shoulder that you
have.
Bob: And I dislike you, so there.
[Phoenix whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the turnbuckle. Hardcore Billy Talent
executes a bearhug. Phoenix breaks the hold after 6 seconds.]
Louis: Huge strength on the part of Phoenix to just break the hold.
[Phoenix executes a flying forearm. Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.
Phoenix whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the ropes, but Hardcore Billy Talent
reverses it. The Paramedic trips Phoenix. Joe Camel warns The Paramedic.]
Louis: No need for that in the match!
[Hardcore Billy Talent whips Phoenix into the turnbuckle, but Phoenix reverses
it. Phoenix charges into the corner. Phoenix executes a dropkick to the knee. Joe
Camel is back on the job. Phoenix executes a flying lariat. Phoenix takes him
down with a double chickenwing submission. Hardcore Billy Talent reaches the
ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Phoenix takes him down with a front-
layout superplex. Phoenix executes a Hotshot.]
Bob: That's good old Phoenix, in control of the match as always.
Louis: He wasn't earlier!
Bob: Shut-up.
[Phoenix goes for a powerslam, but Hardcore Billy Talent counters it with a lariat.
Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a back heel kick, but Phoenix blocks it. Hardcore
Billy Talent whips Phoenix into the ropes. Hardcore Billy Talent misses with a
kick. Hardcore Billy Talent misses with a clothesline. Hardcore Billy Talent takes
him down with a kick to the thigh. Phoenix executes a Samoan Drop. Phoenix
executes a headlock takedown. Phoenix takes him down with a headlock
takedown. Phoenix throws Hardcore Billy Talent out of the ring.]
Bob: There we go, this match is over.
[Phoenix goes through the ropes. The Paramedic comes from behind and
distracts Phoenix. The Paramedic comes from behind, but Phoenix nails The
Paramedic. Hardcore Billy Talent whips Phoenix into the guardrail.]
Bob: Now there's no need for the Paramedic to be there! Get him out of there
ref!
DMcR: Hypo!
Bob: Shut-up!
[They're brawling on the floor. Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a bearhug.
The Paramedic comes from behind, but Phoenix nails The Paramedic. Hardcore
Billy Talent whips Phoenix into the guardrail. Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with
a forearm smash. Phoenix is busted wide open.]
Louis: Phoenix is bleeding!
DMcR: The forearm smash did it. That can't be good for the Underground.
Bob: Oh shut-up. Phoenix is still kicking this softporn's butt!
DMcR: Hey, the only person you can call softporn is Hardcore!
Bob: Who's Hardcore???
DMcR: Stop-it!
[Phoenix reenters the ring. Hardcore Billy Talent follows him back in. Phoenix
goes for a headlock takedown, but Hardcore Billy Talent counters it with a back
suplex. In turn, Phoenix counters it with a cross-body block.]
Louis: Phoenix just showed some great wrestling ability. Billy Talent looks hurt.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
DMcR: Not hurt enough, but Phoenix isn't giving up yet.
[Phoenix executes a Samoan Drop. Phoenix executes a flying fistdrop. Phoenix
is bleeding like a faucet. Phoenix nails him with a DDT.]
Bob: Look at the smile on Phoenix's face! This guy knows Billy Talents future,
and it doesn't look pretty.
[Phoenix executes the Razzle Dazzle and goes for the pin. Joe Camel counts:
One, two, three.]
DMcR: And that's it! Phoenix goes on!
Bob: And so does the Dazzled Hardcore! What a crap tournament!
DMcR: You do realise the SWF pays you?
Bob: I don't need their clean money!
JH: The winner of the match, and moving into the A-Side.. Phoenix!
Louis: You gotta think Phoenix will be the favourite in this tournament, but
Hardcore Billy Talent putting up a great fight. He'll do well as this tournament
goes on.
["Me Killa by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony" starts playing over loudspeaker.]
JH: Your next match is scheduled for one fall. First, coming down
ringside weighing in at 287 pounds, he's from Denver, being lead by his manager
Kim Kelly. The SWF Presents Jagged Edge!
Bob: What is this crap over the speakers?
[Kim Kelly, wearing almost nothing, and Jagged Edge walk out of the Oriole's mouth.]
Louis: Kim Kelly is an attractive lady.
Bob: Yeah, what's she doing with him?
[All of a sudden there are cheers heard and the fans stand up. Mr. America comes
running out from the crowd.]
DMcR: It's Mr. America!
[Mr. America nails him from
behind with lariat. Mr. America pushes Kim Kelly to the guardrail and
picks up Jagged Edge.]
Louis: That's despicable, he pushed a lady!
[Mr. America executes a Russian legsweep. Mr. America picks up Jagged
Edge and sets him up for the Made in Ameirca. Mr. America gives the sign
for the Made in America and then executes it onto
the arena floor.]
DMcR: The Made In America leaping piledriver!
Bob: Goonight Edge! That's what I call revenge.
[Mr. America walks down to the commentator's table and
grabs the mic. He walks back over to Jagged Edge. Mr. America looks at
Kim Kelly and spits at her.]
Louis: Now he spit on a lady! I thought he had an attitude change? This is wrong.
America-Jagged Edge, looks to me like you're as sharp as a dull spoon.
Pray to God that you don't face me tonight. Better yet, you won't get by
Dr. Hate. Edge, I'll seey a again real soon snookums.
[Mr. America hits Jagged Edge with the mic and spits at Kim Kelly one more
time before walking back up the aisle.]
Louis: Now it will be near impossible for Jagged Edge to beat Dr. Hate after
that vicious attack. Those Underground members are all just thugs!
["How Do I Know" by Leather Strip plays over the speakers.]
JH: His opponent weighs in at 275 pounds. Here is DR. HATE!
Bob: This guy thinks too much.
[The Bell Rings.
They lock up. Jagged Edge goes for a belly-to-back suplex, but Dr. Hate blocks
it. Dr. Hate takes him down with an armbar submission. Jagged Edge reaches
the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Dr. Hate nails him with a chop. Dr.
Hate executes the Assisted Suicide and goes for the pin.]
DMcR: Dr. Hate executing his finisher right off the bat!
Louis: The cover .
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, KICKOUT.]
DMcR: No can do, big kickout!
[Jagged Edge goes for a Gorilla Press, but Dr. Hate counters it with a rolling
reverse cradle. Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up. Dr. Hate goes for a
back heel kick, but Jagged Edge blocks it. Jagged Edge throws Dr. Hate out of
the ring.]
Bob: Jagged Edge takes Dr. Hate to turn the tide in this match. He almost lost it
twice, and we haven't been wrestling for a minute!
[Jagged Edge goes through the ropes. Jagged Edge whips Dr. Hate into the
guardrail. They're brawling on the floor. Dr. Hate nails him with an octopus hold.
Dr. Hate throws Jagged Edge back into the ring. Dr. Hate nails him with a back
heel kick. Dr. Hate nails him with the Doctor Bomb. Joe Camel counts: One, two,
thr... kickout.]
Louis: Dr. Hate looking good in this match so far!
[Jagged Edge sits up.]
Bob: Maybe Jagged Edge could start wrestling too!
[Dr. Hate nails him with a back heel kick. Dr. Hate nails him with a rolling kick. Dr.
Hate whips Jagged Edge into the ropes. Jagged Edge misses with an elbow. Dr.
Hate hits Jagged Edge with a clothesline. Jagged Edge falls out of the ring.]
Louis: A big clothesline tosses Jagged Edge over the ropes. It doesn't look good
for Jagged Edge!
[Dr. Hate goes through the ropes. They're brawling on the floor. Dr. Hate reenters
the ring. Jagged Edge follows him back in. Dr. Hate executes a clawhold. Jagged
Edge reaches the ropes after being trapped for 11 seconds. Dr. Hate places
Jagged Edge on the turnbuckle. Dr. Hate executes a top-rope DDT.]
Bob: Don't you dare say it was a Fried Bacon!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up. Dr. Hate whips Jagged Edge into the
ropes. Jagged Edge goes for a choke slam, but Dr. Hate blocks it. Dr. Hate goes
for a small package, but Jagged Edge reverses it. Joe Camel counts: One, two,
shoulder up.]
DMcR: Jagged Edge almost getting a surprise victory!
[Jagged Edge nails him with a bearhug. Dr. Hate reaches the ropes after being
trapped for 5 seconds. Jagged Edge places Dr. Hate on the turnbuckle. Jagged
Edge executes a belly-to-back superplex. Jagged Edge nails him with a spinning
power bomb. Joe Camel counts: One, two, thr... kickout.]
Louis: Wow! What a move by Jagged Edge, who comes right back in this
match!
DMcR: Did you see that power in that spinning power bomb?
Bob: [Yawns]
[Jagged Edge catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Joe Camel counts: One,
two, kickout. Jagged Edge runs into the ropes. Jagged Edge catches him in a
belly-to-belly suplex. Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
Louis: Dr. Hate doing what he can to not get pinned! Jagged Edge is all over
him.
[Jagged Edge runs into the ropes. Jagged Edge misses with a kick. Dr. Hate hits
Jagged Edge with a shoulderblock. Dr. Hate executes a chop. Dr. Hate executes
the Assisted Suicide and goes for the pin. Joe Camel counts: One, two, in the
ropes...]
Bob: Jagged Edge once again able to save himself from Dr. Hate's finisher.
[Dr. Hate nails him with a clawhold. Jagged Edge breaks the hold after 16
seconds. Jagged Edge runs into the ropes. Dr. Hate hits Jagged Edge with a
clothesline. Dr. Hate goes for a figure-four sleeper, but Jagged Edge blocks it.
Jagged Edge takes him down with a belly-to-back suplex. Jagged Edge places
Dr. Hate on the turnbuckle. Jagged Edge nails him with a belly-to-back
superplex. Jagged Edge executes a German suplex. Joe Camel counts: One,
two, shoulder up.]
DMcR: Only the shoulder!
[Dr. Hate catches him in an inside cradle. Joe Camel counts: One, two, thr...
shoulder up.]
Louis: These two athletes are really putting on a good show for the fans!
[Dr. Hate whips Jagged Edge into the ropes. Dr. Hate executes a rolling kick. Dr.
Hate whips Jagged Edge into the ropes. Dr. Hate hits Jagged Edge with an
elbow. Jagged Edge sits up. Dr. Hate goes for a cobra clutch, but Jagged Edge
counters it with an armdrag takedown. In turn, Dr. Hate counters it with a lariat.
Jagged Edge sits up. Dr. Hate goes for a Boston crab, but Jagged Edge blocks it.
Jagged Edge goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Dr. Hate counters it with a backdrop.
Dr. Hate goes for an octopus hold, but Jagged Edge counters it with a hiptoss.
Jagged Edge whips Dr. Hate into the turnbuckle. Jagged Edge charges in with a
jumping side kick. Jagged Edge goes for a Tombstone, but Dr. Hate reverses it.]
Bob: You know, this Jagged Edge guy is a little too much like a WWF wrestler
that I'm forgetting the name off.
DMcR: Shhhh! We don't talk about that wrestling league, it's against policy.
Bob: Oh, sorry, butt-brains!
[Jagged Edge re-reverses it. Jagged Edge flexes to the crowd. Jagged Edge
places Dr. Hate on the turnbuckle. Jagged Edge takes him down with a top-rope
DDT. Joe Camel counts: One, shoulder up.]
Bob: He really screwed up on that top-rope DDT!
[Jagged Edge places Dr. Hate on the turnbuckle. Jagged Edge nails him with a
belly-to-back superplex. Jagged Edge flexes to the crowd. Jagged Edge catches
him in a Northern Lights suplex. Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout. Jagged
Edge flexes to the crowd. Jagged Edge catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
Louis: Jagged Edge trying, but just unable to get the three count!
DMcR: Anyone can win it at this point!
[Jagged Edge goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Dr. Hate blocks it. Dr. Hate
whips Jagged Edge into the ropes. Jagged Edge misses with an elbow. Dr. Hate
executes a chop. Dr. Hate executes the Assisted Suicide and goes for the pin.]
DMcR: We've seen this move for the third time, will it get Dr. Hate the win?
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, three.]
Louis: Dr. Hate gets the fast win, but both wrestlers put on an excellent show.
What a wrestling match!
JH: The winner of the match, and moving into the A-Side... Dr. Hate!
DMcR: A great match, as Dr. Hate and Phoenix go on to the A-Side while
Talent and Jagged Edge have a tougher road ahead. For Bobby Heenan and
Lionheart Louis, I'm Donald McRonald saying goodnight, and enjoy the rest of
the evening.
[scene switches to Gabe Zachery-Colbert in the control centre]
GZC: Looks like Bobby Heenan could have gotten himself in a bit of trouble
with our esteemed leader, but lets talk about the outstanding action we've been
witness to tonight! Oh my! The first round is now over and done with.
In group A Mr. America, the man who got his revenge on Jagged Edge and
obviously hurt his chances in that first match
will face Doug Bacon and Phoenix will face Dr. Hate.
It's an Underground sweep of the first round folks! What does this mean? There's
an excellent chance of an Underground member coming away from World Title
Mania with the gold; but remember, the Underground member will definitely face
a non-Underground member in the finals. That's a guarantee. Now, lets go back to
Donavon and Paul for B-Side semi-finals. There's no rest for these athletes!
[The scene switches back to Donovan Thomas and Paul VonBraun.]
DT: We're back and calling the next two matches.
PVB: Let's just get to the ring announcer.
JH: Introducing first! From Newark, New Jersey. He stands at 6'07" and
weighs in at 289lbs. Here is the Vigilante!
["Uprising" by Damn Yankees plays as the Vigilante walks down to the ring
to a tremendous ovation from the crowd. The Vigilante climbs into the
ring.]
DT: The Vigilante is still quite a mysterious figure.
PVB: But he'll be taking on Moon Dog Gator.
RA: His opponent! From Jackson, Mississippi and accompanied to the ring by
Mr. America! Standing 6'07" and weighing in at 370lbs. Here is Moon Dog
Gator!
["Bring on the Noise" by Anthrax and Public Enemy plays as the fans give a
mixed reaction. Mr. America leads Moon Dog Gator down to the ring. Moon
Dog Gator climbs into the ring and barks as some of the fans bark back at
him.]
PVB: This guy is about the only good Gator Clan member.
DT: Well Big Russ has been successful as well.
PVB: Yeah, but Big Russ is an idiot.
DT: Both men are ready to go and there's the bell!
[The Bell Rings
They lock up. Moon Dog Gator goes for the Doctor Bomb, but The Vigilante
counters it with a backdrop. In turn, Moon Dog Gator counters it with a
sunset flip.]
PVB: Moon Dog gets the better in that exchange of counters. Mr. America
has worked with him.
DT: It's showing, but Moon Dog is a Gator and all Gator's are brawlers.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
DT: The Vigilante gets his shoulder up. Moon Dog didn't have that shoulder
pressed all the way to the mat.
[Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a facebite. Moon Dog Gator nails him
with a bearhug. Moon Dog Gator lets go after 15 seconds. The Vigilante
goes for a spinebuster slam, but Moon Dog Gator counters it with a
swinging neckbreaker. Moon Dog Gator nails him with a thrust kick to the
head. Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a facebite. Moon Dog Gator
nails him with a flying forearm.]
DT: Moon Dog has controlled the match thus far. He comes off the ropes
with a flying forearm and lands on the Vigilante and goes for the pin!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout. Moon Dog Gator complains about a
slow count.]
PVB: He only got two and he's complaining. How can he understand Moon Dog
is what I want to know.
DT: I don't know, but Moon Dog does have a stuttering problem.
PVB: Well Mr. America will help him take care of that.
[The Vigilante yells "You feel tough now, punk?" at his opponent. The
Vigilante catches him in an inside cradle.]
DT: It's evident that Moon Dog isn't that quick. The Vigilante shouted at
him and then caught him in that inside cradle!
PVB: Mr. America's yelling at Moon Dog.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
PVB: Crowd, please take it for me.
Crowd: No Dice!!
PVB: Thank you.
DT: I'm amazed that catch phrase has caught on as well as it has.
[The Vigilante runs into the ropes. The Vigilante nails him with a
Russian legsweep. The Vigilante attempts to place Moon Dog Gator on the
turnbuckle, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it. The Vigilante gives him a DDT,
but Moon Dog Gator doesn't sell it at all.]
DT: Moon Dog is swept off his feet and that DDT had no effect on him at
all.
PVB: Well he's got a hard head from what I can see.
[The Vigilante goes for a short clothesline, but Moon Dog Gator counters
it with a duck-down move. Moon Dog Gator throws The Vigilante out of the
ring. Joe Camel counts: one, two, three, four, five, The Vigilante
reenters the ring. Moon Dog Gator nails him with a vertical suplex. Moon
Dog Gator takes him down with a chokehold. Joe Camel counts: One, two,
three. Moon Dog Gator takes him down with the Doctor Bomb.]
DT: A gutwrench suplex into a power bomb and Moon Dog keeps control! He
puts his feet over the Vigilante's arms!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
PVB: The Vigilante kicks out. He's still down and Moon Dog goes up top!
[Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a moonsault. Joe Camel counts: One,
two, kickout.]
DT: He only got a two count out of that, but for a man who's almost 400lbs.
It's impressive that he can do a moonsault.
[Moon Dog Gator goes for a clawhold, but The Vigilante blocks it.]
PVB: He almost slapped on the Underground's signature move. Mr. America
must have taught him that.
[Moon Dog Gator begs off. The Vigilante takes him down with a Russian
legsweep. The Vigilante goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Moon Dog
Gator blocks it. Moon Dog Gator executes a facebite. Moon Dog Gator
places The Vigilante on the turnbuckle. Moon Dog Gator executes a
superplex. Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a flying forearm.]
DT: A superplex followed up by a flying forearm and here's the cover!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout. Moon Dog Gator whips The Vigilante
into the turnbuckle. Moon Dog Gator charges in with an avalanche, but The
Vigilante lifts his leg. Moon Dog Gator begs off.]
PVB: Moon Dog has really kept control of this match well. He hasn't let
the Vigilante mount much of an offence.
DT: He goes in with an avalanche, but the Vigilante lifts his knee to Moon
Dog's chest. Moon Dog begs for mercy.
[The Vigilante nails him with a short clothesline. The Vigilante places
Moon Dog Gator on the turnbuckle. The Vigilante goes for the Vendetta,
but Moon Dog Gator counters it with a fist to the midsection.]
DT: Moon Dog avoids that top-rope brainbuster finisher of the Vigilante and
sends him to the mat with a fist to the midsection!
PVB: Mr. America has really helped Moon Dog do some scouting.
[Moon Dog Gator nails him with a swinging punch. Moon Dog Gator goes for
a facebite, but The Vigilante counters it with a kneelift. The Vigilante
executes a gutwrench suplex. The Vigilante runs into the ropes. Moon Dog
Gator hits The Vigilante with a shoulderblock. Moon Dog Gator scrathes
his head furiously as he barks.]
DT: Moon Dog barking at the crowd and the crowd is barking back.
PVB: Mr. America may need to look into getting this guy a flea collar.
[Moon Dog Gator goes for a piledriver, but The Vigilante counters it with
a backdrop.]
DT: Moon Dog went for a piledriver and I'm sure Mr. America taught him that
move.
PVB: There's only one master of the piledriver and he uses the Made in
America baby!
[The Vigilante gives him a Russian legsweep, but Moon Dog Gator doesn't
sell it at all. Moon Dog Gator runs into the ropes. Moon Dog Gator goes
for a sleeperhold, but The Vigilante counters it with a jawbreaker. The
Vigilante takes him down with a Gorilla Press.]
DT: Wow! The Vigilante presses Moon Dog over his head! He's lifting up
someone who's almost 100lbs. heavier than him with ease!
[The Vigilante is going for the pin.]
PVB: He hooks a leg and goes for the pin!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, KICKOUT.]
DT: Moon Dog with a monster kick out and we know what that means. We've
seen this many times before in our sport.
[Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a bearhug. The Vigilante reaches the
ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Moon Dog Gator places The
Vigilante on the turnbuckle. Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a
superplex. Moon Dog Gator runs into the ropes. Moon Dog Gator misses
with a shoulderblock. The Vigilante nails him with a reverse
neckbreaker.]
PVB: Moon Dog misses with a shoulderblock, and the Vigilante comes back
with a reverse neckbreaker! He can't do that move like Phoenix though.
DT: The Vigilante puts a stop to the momentum of Moon Dog Gator.
[Moon Dog Gator whips The Vigilante into the ropes. Moon Dog Gator misses
with a shoulderblock. The Vigilante hits Moon Dog Gator with a kick. The
Vigilante executes a Thesz press.]
DT: The Vigilante with a move that Lou Thesz made famous!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
PVB: He didn't get his legs hooked around the knees of Moon Dog though and
that helped Moon Dog kick out.
DT: The Vigilante is a very technically sound wrestler to say the least. I
thought that he would've been more of a brawler.
PVB: He must have done a lot of training before he came to the SWF.
[The Vigilante executes a Russian legsweep. Moon Dog Gator begs off. The
Vigilante catches him in a Northern Lights suplex.]
DT: A nicely executes Nothern Lights suplex from the Vigilante!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
PVB: Help me out here crowd.
Crowd: No Dice!!
DT: I may have to adopt that sooner or later to make it the catch phrase
for this broadcast duo.
[The Vigilante gives him a side suplex, but Moon Dog Gator doesn't sell it
at all. The Vigilante yells "You feel tough now, punk?" at his opponent.
Moon Dog Gator begs off.]
DT: The Vigilante is asserting himself and he has Moon Dog Gator on the
run.
PVB: I think Mr. America has him using that tactic to catch his opponent's
off guard.
[The Vigilante gives him a gutwrench suplex, but Moon Dog Gator doesn't
sell it at all. The Vigilante whips Moon Dog Gator into the ropes. Moon
Dog Gator misses with a shoulderblock. Moon Dog Gator misses with an
elbow. Moon Dog Gator nails him with a roundhouse right. Moon Dog Gator
takes him down with a roundhouse right.]
DT: Here comes the brawling skills that most of the Gator clan exhibit in
the ring. I still think the Vigilante can match Moon Dog Gator though in
the brawling. He wasn't a policeman for nothing.
PVB: Maybe, but Moon Dog Gator is an unorthodox opponent to say the least.
You never know what he'll do next.
[Moon Dog Gator executes a facebite. Moon Dog Gator runs into the ropes.
The Vigilante hits Moon Dog Gator with an elbow. The Vigilante whips Moon
Dog Gator into the turnbuckle. The Vigilante whips Moon Dog Gator into
the ropes. The Vigilante gives him a Russian legsweep, but Moon Dog Gator
doesn't sell it at all. The Vigilante goes for a DDT, but Moon Dog Gator
counters it with a backdrop. Moon Dog Gator runs into the ropes. The
Vigilante hits Moon Dog Gator with a kick. The Vigilante takes him down
with a snap suplex.]
DT: Moon Dog tries to mount a come back, but the Vigilante stops that and
goes to work on the back with that snap suplex. He snapped Moon Dog right
over.
PVB: Mr. America is shouting instructions to Moon Dog, but I don't think
Moon Dog can hear him.
[The Vigilante takes him down with a scorpion deathlock. Moon Dog Gator
reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. The Vigilante yells
"You feel tough now, punk?" at his opponent.]
DT: The Vigilante seems to be a very angry man. It's known that he was not
happy with the justice system as he saw a lot of guilty people let free
and a lot of innocent people put into jail.
PVB: Well it all has to do with money. Now in Canada, we have a perfect
justice system, but I'll let Captain Canuck speak on that. If you have
money in America you're like an untouchable.
DT: I wouldn't let Mr. America hear you say that. You could very well get
into a debate with him on that.
PVB: Well he's never been to my home in Vancouver, B.C.
[The Vigilante takes him down with a spinning power bomb. Joe Camel
counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
DT: A spinning power bomb by the Vigilante only gets him a two count before
Moon Dog got his shoulder off of the mat.
[Moon Dog Gator begs off. The Vigilante goes for a choke slam, but Moon
Dog Gator blocks it. Moon Dog Gator goes for an inside cradle, but The
Vigilante blocks it. The Vigilante executes a reverse neckbreaker. The
Vigilante yells "You feel tough now, punk?" at his opponent.]
PVB: The Vigilante needs to concentrate more on just pinning him rather
than dishing out his "justice" in the ring.
DT: Well the Vigilante isn't worried with winning as long as he can punish
those he deems fit.
[The Vigilante goes for a side suplex, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it. Moon
Dog Gator whips The Vigilante into the ropes. Moon Dog Gator misses with
a clothesline. The Vigilante hits Moon Dog Gator with a kick. The
Vigilante runs into the ropes. The Vigilante hits Moon Dog Gator with an
elbow. The Vigilante takes him down with a thrust kick to the head. The
Vigilante executes a front: layout superplex.]
DT: The Vigilante is really taking it to Moon Dog, but Moon Dog is up to a
vertical base before the Vigilante can get off the top turnbuckle.
PVB: Just goes to show that Moon Dog can take punishment, unlike others of
the Gator Clan.
[Moon Dog Gator whips The Vigilante into the ropes. The Vigilante hits
Moon Dog Gator with a kick. The Vigilante catches him in a Northern
Lights suplex.]
DT: Nothern Lights by the Vigilante and this could do it!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout. Moon Dog Gator begs off.]
PVB: No Dice!
DT: Moon Dog is begging for mercy. I bet that's what the Vigilante is
looking for. He wants his opponents to beg for mercy.
[The Vigilante takes him down with a snap suplex. Moon Dog Gator begs
off. The Vigilante takes him down with a reverse neckbreaker. Moon Dog
Gator begs off. The Vigilante throws Moon Dog Gator out of the ring. The
Vigilante goes through the ropes. They're brawling on the floor. The
Vigilante nails him with a short clothesline. Moon Dog Gator takes him
down with an elbowsmash. Moon Dog Gator whips The Vigilante into the
guardrail. The Vigilante nails him with a side suplex. Moon Dog Gator
reenters the ring. The Vigilante follows him back in.]
DT: Action outside of the ring and neither man got the advantage out there.
PVB-I'm surprised Mr. America didn't get involved.
DT: From seeing him on some OWA broadcasts, I think he wants Moon Dog to
win on his own accord.
[Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a roundhouse right. Moon Dog Gator
nails him with an elbowsmash. Moon Dog Gator goes for the D: Dog-T, but
The Vigilante counters it with a Hotshot.]
DT: Moon Dog went for his D-Dog-T, but was unable to execute it as he got
a throat full of the top rope.
PVB: That's the second time tonight he's been unable to hit his finisher.
[The Vigilante nails him with a choke slam. The Vigilante is going for
the pin. Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
DT: The Vigilante went for the pin after a choke slam, but Moon Dog kicked
out.
PVB: No Dice!
[The Vigilante runs into the ropes. Moon Dog Gator hits The Vigilante
with a backdrop. The Vigilante falls out of the ring.]
DT: Moon Dog sends the Vigilante out of the ring with a backdrop! The
Vigilante hit hard on the outside.
PVB: That's what he needed to. Moon Dog can put this match away now.
[Moon Dog Gator goes through the ropes. Moon Dog Gator whips The
Vigilante into the guardrail. Moon Dog Gator nails him with the Doctor
Bomb. Moon Dog Gator knocks The Vigilante into the ringsteps. Moon Dog
Gator nails him with a bearhug. Moon Dog Gator knocks The Vigilante into
the ringpost. Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a cobra clutch. Moon
Dog Gator executes a powerslam. Moon Dog Gator whips The Vigilante into
the guardrail. Moon Dog Gator nails him with a flying headbutt. Moon Dog
Gator throws The Vigilante back into the ring.]
DT: WOW! Moon Dog Gator was all over the Vigilante out there! He beat
him from pillar to post to put it.
PVB: Mr. America has taught Moon Dog well.
DT: I think Mr. America has concentrated more in the ring because Moon Dog
looks to be okay on the outside of the ring! He threw the Vigilante back
into the ring, so let's see if he can capitalise on it.
[Moon Dog Gator whips The Vigilante into the ropes. Moon Dog Gator takes
him down with a chokehold. Joe Camel counts: One, two, three. Moon Dog
Gator whips The Vigilante into the ropes. The Vigilante bumps into Joe
Camel. The Vigilante hits Moon Dog Gator with a clothesline. Moon Dog
Gator falls out of the ring. The Vigilante goes through the ropes.]
DT: It's Moon Dog who is sent outside of the ring this time by a Vigilante
clothesline.
[The Vigilante executes a choke slam. They're brawling on the floor.
Moon Dog Gator executes a clawhold. Moon Dog Gator reenters the ring.
The Vigilante follows him back in. Moon Dog Gator goes for a headbutt,
but The Vigilante blocks it. Moon Dog Gator walks out for the countout.]
PVB: What!?
DT: Moon Dog has just walked out of the ring and back up the aisle. Mr.
America has a confused look and he's following. Moon Dog has given this
match to the Vigilante.
JH: The winner of the match, and advancing to the finals of the B-Side...
The Vigilante!
["Uprising" by Damn Yankees plays as the Vigilante smiles. He exits the
ring and walks back up the aisle.]
DT: I think that's what the Vigilante wants. Moon Dog took off from the
ring and it looks like the Vigilante is in pursuit of him. Up next we
have "Hardcore" Billy Talent locking up with Jagged Edge.
PVB: Another great match up isn't it?
DT: I sense sarcasm there.
PVB: "Hardcore" Billy Talent? Come on! What kinda name is that?
DT: It's a name. Let's go to the ring announcer for the introductions.
JH: Introducing first! Hailing from Denver, Colorado and accompained to
the ring by Kim Kelly! He stands 6'07" and weighs 289lbs. Here is Jagged
Edge!
["Me Killa" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony blares out through the speakers as
Jagged Edge comes down to ringside accompanied by his lovely manager, Kim
Kelly, wearing a skin tight leather dress. He struts down to ringside as
the crowd cheers.]
PVB: I think it's time for me to go interview Kim Kelly...
DT: Just hold your hormones Paul! We all know why Jagged Edge is in
the B-Side, Mr. America's dastardly actions.
PVB: Hate had him beat anyway, he was just making sure Edge thought
twice next time he decides to mess with the Underground.
[Jagged Edge climbs into the ring as Kim Kelly holds the ropes open for
him.]
DT: Here comes Billy Talent.
JH: His opponent! From Sudbury, Ontario, Canada and accompained to the
ring by the Paramedic. Standing 6'10" and weighing 375lbs. Here is
"Hardcore" Billy Talent!
["Ready, Steady, Go!" by The Mieces plays as the fans give a good pop.
The Paramedic leads Billy Talent down to the ring. Billy Talent climbs in
and does a few kickboxing moves.]
DT: Talent was a former kickboxing champion and has now turned to
wrestling.
PVB: Great! That's all we need! Another martial artist guy!
DT: Actually, kickboxing isn't the same as martial arts.
PVB: Who cares!?
DT: Oh well, Jagged Edge is talking to Kim and here comes Talent!
PVB: That was an awful pun.
[Hardcore Billy Talent attacks Jagged Edge before the bell. Hardcore
Billy Talent takes him down with a stomachbreaker.]
DT: Jagged Edge turned his back and Talent took care of it. Kelly doesn't
look happy about that.
[The Bell Rings.
Both The Paramedic and Kim Kelly jump up on the apron. Joe Camel tries
to send them back down.]
PVB: Great! Both managers are on the ring apron. That's not going to help
either one of them.
[Hardcore Billy Talent whips Jagged Edge into the ropes, but Jagged Edge
reverses it. Jagged Edge hits Hardcore Billy Talent with a kick. Jagged
Edge takes him down with a tilt-a-whirl piledriver.]
PVB: How in the hell do you do that move!?
DT: I don't know, but it was a very nice move to see executed. He goes for
the pin!
[There is no referee to count. Jagged Edge gets back up.]
DT: Joe is still tied up with the managers on the ring apron.
PVB: Kim may have just cost her man the match.
[Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a crucifix. There is no referee to
count.]
DT: It's Billy with a crucifix, a nice move for a man that size, and this
time he goes for the pin. There's no Joe Camel to count though!
PVB: His manager showing his true intellect no doubt.
[Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a palm blow. Hardcore Billy
Talent takes him down with a Yakuza kick. Hardcore Billy Talent executes
a tilt-a-whirl suplex.]
DT: Talent goes to his kickboxing style and ends it off with a nice
tilt-a-whirl suplex!
PVB: Now there's a move I've seen before.
[Jagged Edge sits up. Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a
faceslam. Hardcore Billy Talent is going for the pin. There is no
referee to count.]
DT: Talent with another pin, but Joe Camel is still trying to get both
managers off the apron! They need to let this match continue and stop
keeping the attention of the ref.
PVB: They're all idiots!
[Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a spin kick, but Jagged Edge counters it
with a duck-down move. Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a chokehold.
There is no referee there to ask Jagged Edge.]
DT: Talent chokes Jagged Edge and the ref still has his back turned.
PVB: Do they need me down there to ref for God's sake? I could do a better
job than that. Just disqualify both men and get it over with!
[Hardcore Billy Talent attemps to place Jagged Edge on the turnbuckle, but
Jagged Edge blocks it. Hardcore Billy Talent whips Jagged Edge into the
ropes, but Jagged Edge reverses it. Hardcore Billy Talent misses with a
shoulderblock. Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a punch. Hardcore
Billy Talent nails him with a knee to the back. Hardcore Billy Talent
places Jagged Edge on the turnbuckle. Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a
top-rope DDT, but Jagged Edge counters it with a front-layout superplex.]
DT: Jagged Edge finally getting a little offence going with a nice counter
to a top-rope DDT attempt.
[Joe Camel is back on the job.]
PVB: Joe Camel finally realises there's a match going on here and turns his
attention back to it.
[Jagged Edge goes for a German suplex, but Hardcore Billy Talent counters
it with an elbowsmash. Jagged Edge executes a German suplex.]
DT: Jagged Edge gets that German suplex to work the second time around.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
PVB: No Dice!
[Jagged Edge takes him down with a DDT. Jagged Edge takes him down with a
German suplex.]
DT: Another German suplex by Jagged Edge!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up. Jagged Edge flexes to the
crowd.]
PVB: No Dice and now he's imitating Pegasus!
DT: I don't think he's heard of Pegasus.
PVB: Whatever! Pegasus is known the world over.
[Jagged Edge executes a series of punches. Jagged Edge catches him in a
reverse DDT.]
DT: A reverse DDT and this could do it!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout. Jagged Edge nails him with a
powerslam. Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
PVB: Two more lousy pin attempts and he still can't put the guy that has
the stupid name away.
DT: Paul, I liked you better when you weren't being biased.
PVB: I'm not routing for either one of these guys! They're both idiots!
[Jagged Edge attemps to place Hardcore Billy Talent on the turnbuckle, but
Hardcore Billy Talent blocks it. Jagged Edge takes him down with a series
of punches. Jagged Edge whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the ropes.
Hardcore Billy Talent misses with a clothesline. Hardcore Billy Talent
nails him with a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Hardcore Billy Talent whips Jagged
Edge into the turnbuckle, but Jagged Edge reverses it. Jagged Edge
charges in with a jumping side kick. Jagged Edge attemps to place
Hardcore Billy Talent on the turnbuckle, but Hardcore Billy Talent blocks
it. Jagged Edge takes him down with a German suplex.]
DT: Both men starting to exchange moves here. No one is getting the better
of the other and here's another German suplex!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
PVB: No Dice. It hasn't worked two times, so why try it a third time?
[Jagged Edge whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the ropes. Jagged Edge hits
Hardcore Billy Talent with an elbow. Jagged Edge places Hardcore Billy
Talent on the turnbuckle. Jagged Edge executes a top-rope DDT.]
DT: Talent taken to the mat with a top-rope DDT and that looks like it took
a lot out of him!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, in the ropes...]
DT: Talent got his foot draped over the bottom rope to break the pin.
PVB: Come on! Let this match end!
[Jagged Edge attemps to place Hardcore Billy Talent on the turnbuckle, but
Hardcore Billy Talent blocks it. Jagged Edge goes for the Tilt-a-Whirl
powerslam, but Hardcore Billy Talent blocks it.]
PVB: What the hell would you call that move!?
DT: I don't know, but it looked like a tilt-a-whirl powerslam attempt to
me.
PVB: Oh really!?
DT: Yeah.
[Hardcore Billy Talent runs into the ropes. Hardcore Billy Talent
executes a fist to the midsection. Jagged Edge goes for a punch, but
Hardcore Billy Talent reverses it. Hardcore Billy Talent gives him a
bearhug, but Jagged Edge doesn't sell it at all. Jagged Edge runs into
the ropes. Jagged Edge hits Hardcore Billy Talent with a kick. Jagged
Edge is going for the pin.]
DT: Jagged Edge with a pin after a kick to counter a backdrop attempt.
PVB: Billy telegraphed that move too!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
PVB: No Dice!
[Jagged Edge whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the turnbuckle. Hardcore
Billy Talent comes back and rocks Jagged Edge with an elbow. Hardcore
Billy Talent runs into the ropes. Jagged Edge misses with a clothesline.
Jagged Edge nails him with a choke slam. Hardcore Billy Talent nails him
with a fist to the midsection. Hardcore Billy Talent gives him a Yakuza
kick, but Jagged Edge doesn't even care. Hardcore Billy Talent takes him
down with a forearm smash. Hardcore Billy Talent is going for the pin.]
DT: Talent comes back with his kickboxing and goes for the cover after
sending Jagged Edge to the mat with a forearm smash.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
PVB: No Dice man with the stupid name!
DT: Paul, please. We don't need you to get into trouble.
PVB: I could probably take this guy in the ring!
[Hardcore Billy Talent executes a rolling kick. Hardcore Billy Talent
goes for a superkick, but Jagged Edge counters it with a duck-down move.
Jagged Edge catches him in a power bomb.]
DT: Jagged Edge with the move that gave him the win over the Undertaker!
PVB: Yeah, but this time it wasn't onto a camera.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout. Jagged Edge whips Hardcore Billy
Talent into the ropes. Jagged Edge misses with an elbow. Jagged Edge
nails him with a punch. Jagged Edge executes the Tilt-a-Whirl powerslam.]
PVB: What the hell is that!?
DT: He hit that tilt-a-whirl powerslam. That was rather impressive too.
PVB: My butt it was!
[Jagged Edge executes a spinning power bomb. Joe Camel counts: One, two,
thr... kickout.]
DT: A spinning power bomb almost ended this match.
[Jagged Edge runs into the ropes. Jagged Edge hits Hardcore Billy Talent
with a clothesline. Jagged Edge executes a spinning power bomb.]
DT: Another spinning power bomb!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, in the ropes...]
PVB: Come on! The Paramedic put his foot on the rope! Just end the match
already!
[Jagged Edge throws Hardcore Billy Talent out of the ring. Jagged Edge
goes through the ropes. Jagged Edge goes for a Northern Lights suplex,
but Hardcore Billy Talent blocks it. Jagged Edge goes for a punch, but
Hardcore Billy Talent reverses it. Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a
punch, but Jagged Edge reverses it. Jagged Edge takes him down with a
jack-knife power bomb. Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a spin kick, but
Jagged Edge counters it with a duck-down move. Jagged Edge reenters the
ring. Hardcore Billy Talent follows him back in.]
DT: More action outside of the ring and neither man with the clear
advantage. Hold on! Someone's coming to ringside.
[Phoenix comes to ringside.]
PVB: Thank you! Finally we have a wrestler in our presence!
[Jagged Edge catches him in a Northern Lights suplex. Joe Camel counts:
One, two, kickout.]
DT: A Northern Lights only gets Jagged Edge a two count.
PVB: So what's new?
[Jagged Edge places Hardcore Billy Talent on the turnbuckle. Jagged Edge
catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex. Joe Camel counts: One, two,
kickout.]
PVB: No Dice!
DT: Paul, just settle down. We are getting paid for this.
PVB: We better damn well be! This match sucks and they have me wasting my
talent as a commentator calling it! I think Yvette has it in for me
because he knows I'm better than him!
DT: Oh no...I can hear it now.
[Jagged Edge takes him down with a DDT. Jagged Edge executes a
belly-to-back suplex. Jagged Edge goes for the Stinger Splash, but
Hardcore Billy Talent counters it with a side step. Jagged Edge sits up.
Hardcore Billy Talent gives him a superkick, but Jagged Edge doesn't
budge. Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a kick to the midsection, but
Jagged Edge blocks it. Jagged Edge runs into the ropes. Jagged Edge hits
Hardcore Billy Talent with a shoulderblock. Jagged Edge whips Hardcore
Billy Talent into the ropes, but Hardcore Billy Talent reverses it.
Jagged Edge misses with an elbow. Jagged Edge misses with a kick. Jagged
Edge goes for the Shattered Dreams, but Hardcore Billy Talent blocks it.]
DT: Talent has done his homework. Jagged Edge went for his sleeper
finisher, but Talent was able to block it.
[Jagged Edge nails him with a powerslam. Joe Camel counts: One, two,
kickout.]
PVB: No Dice!
[Jagged Edge throws Hardcore Billy Talent out of the ring. Jagged Edge
goes through the ropes. Jagged Edge knocks Hardcore Billy Talent into the
ringsteps. They're brawling on the floor. Hardcore Billy Talent knocks
Jagged Edge into the ringsteps. Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a kick to
the head, but Jagged Edge counters it with a duck-down move. Jagged Edge
nails him with a piledriver. Jagged Edge knocks Hardcore Billy Talent
into the ringpost. Jagged Edge goes for a scorpion deathlock, but
Hardcore Billy Talent blocks it. The Paramedic comes from behind, but
Jagged Edge nails The Paramedic.]
DT: The Paramedic tries to get involved, but gets nailed for his trouble.
[Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a rolling kick.]
PVB: It still helped Billyboy out though.
[The Paramedic comes from behind and distracts Jagged Edge. Hardcore
Billy Talent takes him down with a Yakuza kick.]
DT: The Paramedic was successful this time and Jagged Edge gets hit with a
Yakuza kick.
PVB: What's a Yakuza?
DT: The name for the Japanese Mafia.
[Hardcore Billy Talent throws Jagged Edge back into the ring. Hardcore
Billy Talent takes him down with a kick to the midsection. Hardcore Billy
Talent goes for a punch, but Jagged Edge reverses it. Hardcore Billy
Talent re-reverses it. Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a kick
to the head. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a rolling kick. Hardcore
Billy Talent goes for a kick to the head, but Jagged Edge counters it with
a duck-down move. Jagged Edge executes the Shattered Dreams.]
DT: He hops up onto the back of Talent and locks in that sleeperhold!
PVB: Yeah, but Billyboy is still at a vertical base.
[Hardcore Billy Talent reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5
seconds. Jagged Edge goes for a belly-to-back suplex, but Hardcore Billy
Talent counters it with an elbowsmash. Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a
savate kick, but Jagged Edge counters it with a duck-down move. Jagged
Edge takes him down with a piledriver. Jagged Edge runs into the ropes.
Hardcore Billy Talent gives him a knee to the back, but Jagged Edge
doesn't even care. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a short lariat.]
DT: A short lariat from that huge arm of Billy Talent and this could do it!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, KICKOUT.]
PVB: ARGH!
DT: Jagged Edge with a monster kick out!
[Jagged Edge whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the turnbuckle, but Hardcore
Billy Talent reverses it. Hardcore Billy Talent runs into the ropes.
Jagged Edge hits Hardcore Billy Talent with a kick. Jagged Edge flexes to
the crowd.]
PVB: Quit flexing and pin him already!
[Jagged Edge takes him down with the Tilt-a-Whirl powerslam. Jagged Edge
is going for the pin. Joe Camel counts: One, two, in the ropes...]
DT: Talent was saved by the ropes again.
[Jagged Edge whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the ropes, but Hardcore
Billy Talent reverses it. Jagged Edge takes him down with a powerslam.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, in the ropes...]
DT: A powerslam, but Jagged Edge had Talent to close to the ropes. He
needs to pull him into the center of the ring to finish him off.
PVB: He's not that bright is he?
[Jagged Edge whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the ropes, but Hardcore
Billy Talent reverses it. Jagged Edge nails him with a Gorilla Press.
Jagged Edge runs into the ropes. Jagged Edge takes him down with a
spinning power bomb. Joe Camel counts: One, two, thr... kickout.]
PVB: This is getting ridiculous. This match should've ended a long time ago
because it's one of those space fillers.
DT: Paul, the fans are into this match as both men are really show casing
their talent.
[Hardcore Billy Talent whips Jagged Edge into the ropes. Hardcore Billy
Talent nails him with a chokehold. Joe Camel counts: One, two, three,
four. Joe Camel counts: One, two, three, four, five. Joe Camel
disqualifies Hardcore Billy Talent.]
PVB: Thank you!
DT: Talent refused to release that chokehold and Joe Camel disqualified
Billy Talent because of it. Let's get the official word.
JH: The winner of the match, and advancing to the B-Side finals... Jagged Edge!
["Me Killa" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony plays as Jagged Edge rolls out of the
ring and walks back up the aisle with Kim Kelly. Jagged Edge and Phoenix
eye each other. Phoenix turns and walks back up the aisle as well as
Billy Talent and the Paramedic argue with Joe Camel. After about a
minute, Billy Talent throws up his arms and exits the ring with the
Paramedic. Both men walk back up the aisle.]
DT: That's it for us tonight. Let's go to the Captain who's in the audience again..
take it away Captain.
[Scene switches to Captain Canuck up in the bleachers with the crazies :)]
CC: Couldn't agree more with Paul for the first time on that justice system thing..
but lets move on. Hey fans! Captain Canuck back with the fans up here in the
bleachers at Camden Yards. Lets talk to Julia.. how are you?
Julia: Great, it's real fun chilling at this event Captain.
CC: Any predictions?
Julia: I've got to go with Doug because he's from Canada and he knows how to
party... I don't know much about wrestling.
CC: That's OK, want to say hi to anyone?
Julia: Just all my friends back in Ottawa.. and Shawn.
CC: Lucky man?
Julia: If he ever gets around to asking!
CC: [laughs] Lets go to Gabe.
[Scene switches to Gabe Zachery-Colbert back in the control centre]
GZC: Gabe Zachery-Colbert back with you fans. This is unbelievable! The B-Side
finals are now set, we're getting down to the nitty gritty, don't you dare leave now,
not even if your house is on fire! Take it away Johnny and Vance!
[Screen cuts to a shot of Johnny "The Muscle" Ventures and Vance McMihn
sitting on top of the Orioles dugout.]
VM: Good evening ladies and gentlemen I'm Vance McMihn along with my
partner Johnny "The Muscle" Ventures. We hop you have enjoyed the First
ever SWF Pay Per View so far, and there's still a lot more to come.
JV: Can't you feel the excitement in the air? Millions of fans are here
tonight and watching at home to find out who the first SWF Champion is
going to be.
VM: And we're here to bring you two matches two matches that will take
two men closer to that dream and dash that dream for two other men.
JV: That's right we got the semi-finals from side A. And the Underground
has got to be liking their chances, since all four wrestlers are members
of the Underground.
VM: But that doesn't mean that the Underground will automatically get
the title. The wrestler who comes out on top on side B could win the
title as well.
JV: Yeah but that person has to beat the side A winner twice where as
the side A winner only has to beat the side B winner once. So like I
said, the Underground has got to be liking their chances.
VM: Well let's go up to our special ring announcer, Baltimore Orioles
shortstop Cal Ripken!
JV: Isn't he supposed to be playing baseball right now?
VM: No they had their game this afternoon. We just had an SWF intern
prevent Cal from making it to his card so that he could do this.
JV: Well that was nice of him.
[Joe Hall sits in his chair mouthing the words... "What makes him more
important than me!"]
CR: How are you doing Baltimore? [crowd goes wild.] Ok, let's see
here. [Cal looks at a card] this next match is scheduled for one fall.
Introducing first, from Washington, D.C., weighing in at 278 pounds,
here is Captain America!! [Referee Camel Joe walks over to Cal and
whispers something in his ear.] Excuse me, here is Mr. America!!
["Highway To Hell" by AC/DC blares through the loudspeakers. Mr.
America yells "I'm what every American aspires to be!" as he walks down
to the ring. The crowd boos loudly.]
CR: Kids, I think you should aspire to be more like me. Anyways, his
opponent, being lead to the ring by his manager, Paul VonBraun, from
Sudbury, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 340 pounds, here is Doug
"Beer Drinker" Bacon!!
[The crowd continues to boo as a heavy metal version of "99 Bottles of
Beer" blares through the loudspeakers. Paul VonBraun And Doug Bacon
make their way to the ring. Bacon carries a 6-pack with him.]
JV: Sadly enough, I think Doug Bacon represents the American people
better than Mr. America.
VM: Unfortunately, I think you're right, and he's from Sudbury. There's the
bell and the match has started.
[The Bell Rings
They lock up.
Doug Bacon executes an armbar submission.
Mr. America reaches the ropes after being trapped for 15 seconds.]
JV: What kinda pansy gets caught in an armbar submission for 15 seconds
to start off a match.
VM: Maybe Bacon was just hoping Mr. America would submit. It wouldn't
surprise me if the Underground threw the matches to get a specific
person to the finals.
JV: No way, they'll battle it out.
[Doug Bacon throws Mr. America out of the ring.
Doug Bacon goes through the ropes.
Doug Bacon nails him with a flying forearm.
Doug Bacon places Mr. America on the turnbuckle.
Doug Bacon goes for the Fried Bacon, but Mr. America counters it with a
headbutt.]
VM: You're right they're not pulling any punches as Bacon tried to drive
Mr. America through the concrete with that top-rope DDT. But luckily
America was able to counter it.
[Mr. America whips Doug Bacon into the guardrail.
Mr. America nails him with a diving shoulderblock.
Paul VonBraun comes from behind and distracts Mr. America.]
JV: Notice how smartly VonBraun sticks his nose in when America starts
to take control.
[Doug Bacon whips Mr. America into the guardrail.
Doug Bacon whips Mr. America into the guardrail.]
VM: And it seems to have paid off.
[Mr. America reenters the ring.
Doug Bacon follows him back in.
Mr. America takes him down with an elbowsmash.
Mr. America points to himself and yells, "I'm what every America aspires to
be!"]
JV: "What every America aspires to be"? How many America's are there?
North America, South America, and Central America.
VM: I'm sure he meant to say American.
JV: But that's not what he said.
[Mr. America whips Doug Bacon into the ropes.
Doug Bacon hits Mr. America with a shoulderblock.
Doug Bacon nails him with a fist to the midsection.
Doug Bacon nails him with a flying bodypress.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
VM: And Mr. America gets hit with 340 pounds with that flying body
press, but somehow is able to kick out before Joe Camel counts to three.
JV: Well Joe would've counted to three if he didn't stop to cough out
that lung after the two count.
VM: I dislike smoking as much as you Johnny but please don't bad mouth
the sponsors.
[Doug Bacon nails him with an armbar submission.
Mr. America reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.]
VM: Mr. America able to get out of that armbar after just 5 seconds.
[Doug Bacon goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Mr. America blocks it.
Mr. America nails him with the Running Forearm Smash.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
VM: That forearm smash just rocked Doug Bacon!
JV: But Doug got his shoulder up in time.
[Mr. America goes for a reverse neckbreaker, but Doug Bacon blocks it.
Doug Bacon nails him with a front-layout superplex.
Mr. America catches him in a dragon suplex.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
VM: Wow, Mr. America wasn't even phased by that front superplex!
JV: And he almost got Bacon with that dragon suplex.
[Mr. America takes him down with a short lariat.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.
Mr. America executes a front-layout superplex.
Mr. America catches him in a flying legdrop.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, in the ropes...]
VM: And Mr. America is just all over Bacon. He nearly had him down for
the three count twice there.
JV: Luckily, Bacon knew where he was in the ring and grabbed the ropes.
[Mr. America catches him in a Northern Lights suplex.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
VM: And again, Mr. America is only able to get a two count.
JV: That's 5 pin attempts that only made it to a two count. Dougie
better start getting some offence going.
[Mr. America points to himself and yells, "I'm what every American aspires
to be!". Mr. America goes for a Hotshot, but Doug Bacon counters it with a lariat.
Doug Bacon goes over to his corner and chugs down a beer.]
JV: Must...drink...beer....
[Doug Bacon whips Mr. America into the turnbuckle.
Mr. America bumps into Joe Camel.]
VM: And down goes Smokin' Joe.
JV: Well If Joe Camel wasn't such a smoker, he probably could've gotten
out of the way.
[Doug Bacon charges into the corner.
Doug Bacon places Mr. America on the turnbuckle.
Doug Bacon executes a belly-to-back superplex.]
VM: HUGE superplex there and..hey, where's Doug going?
[Doug Bacon goes over to his corner and chugs down a beer.
Doug Bacon places Mr. America on the turnbuckle.
Doug Bacon catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex.]
JV: Doug downs a beer and then hits an even bigger superplex.
[There is no referee to count.
Doug Bacon is going for the pin.
There is no referee to count.]
JV: Well, duh!
[Doug Bacon nails him with a flying bodypress.
There is no referee to count.]
JV: I'm beginning to think this Bacon guy ain't so bright.
[Joe Camel is back on the job.
Doug Bacon whips Mr. America into the turnbuckle, but Mr. America reverses it.
Doug Bacon bumps into Joe Camel.]
VM: Joe Camel comes to only to be knocked out again.
JV: This Joe Camel guy sucks. I bet one of the jobbers could beat him.
[Mr. America runs shoulder-first into the corner.
Doug Bacon goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but Mr. America counters it with
a duck-down move.
Mr. America nails him with the Running Forearm Smash.
There is no referee to count.
Mr. America takes him down with a Russian legsweep.]
JV: That's a very un-American move there by Mr. America.
[Joe Camel is back on the job.
Doug Bacon executes a jack-knife power bomb.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
VM: And Joe Camel returns just in time to see that beautifully executed
jack-knife power bomb.
[Mr. America executes a front-layout superplex.
Mr. America whips Doug Bacon into the ropes.
Doug Bacon hits Mr. America with a backdrop.
Doug Bacon whips Mr. America into the ropes, but Mr. America reverses it.
Joe Camel dives out of the way.]
JV: Well it's looks like Joe has actually learned something.
[Mr. America misses with a kick.
Mr. America hits Doug Bacon with a kick.]
VM: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
[Mr. America whips Doug Bacon into the turnbuckle.
Mr. America runs shoulder-first into the corner.
Mr. America whips Doug Bacon into the ropes.
Doug Bacon hits Mr. America with a clothesline.
Mr. America falls out of the ring.
Doug Bacon goes through the ropes.]
VM: And the two men are taking the action outside.
[Doug Bacon whips Mr. America into the guardrail.
Doug Bacon executes a sleeperhold.
Doug Bacon goes for a short lariat, but Mr. America blocks it.
Mr. America reenters the ring.]
VM: And Mr. America has seen enough and high tails it back into the
ring.
[Doug Bacon follows him back in.
Mr. America throws Doug Bacon out of the ring.
Mr. America goes through the ropes.]
JV: I think he justed wanted the fight on the outside to be on his
terms.
[Mr. America goes for a short lariat, but Doug Bacon counters it with
a duck-down move.
Mr. America is busted wide open.]
VM: Oh My! Bacon ducked down and America's arm hit the ring pole. And
his right hand is bleeding now.
[Paul VonBraun comes from behind and distracts Mr. America.
Doug Bacon reenters the ring.
Mr. America follows him back in.]
JV: I'm really surprised that these two Underground members aren't doing
more on the outside.
VM: Maybe they realize that if they hurt each other too badly, they
lessen their chances on taking home the World belt.
[Doug Bacon places Mr. America on the turnbuckle.
Doug Bacon executes a belly-to-back superplex.]
JV: Boy, Doug sure likes those top-rope maneuvers.
[Doug Bacon takes him down with a double chickenwing submission.
Mr. America reaches the ropes after being trapped for 7 seconds.]
VM: I must say that I'm surprised that Bacon is the one using the
submission holds and not America.
JV: I am too, and that may ultimately cost Mr. America the match.
[Doug Bacon nails him with a flying forearm.
Mr. America executes a diving elbow smash.
Mr. America goes for a diving elbow smash, but Doug Bacon counters it with
a duck-down move.]
JV: I think it's time for Doug to go for another top-rope maneuver.
[Doug Bacon places Mr. America on the turnbuckle.
Doug Bacon takes him down with a belly-to-back superplex.]
JV: And now I think Doug should go for a submission hold.
[Doug Bacon executes a camel clutch.
Mr. America reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.]
VM: Wow, I'm impressed Johnny. How did you know that?
JV: Haven't you been paying attention to the match so far? Doug's been
doing just tons of Top rope moves and submission holds.
[Doug Bacon whips Mr. America into the ropes, but Mr. America reverses it.
Mr. America misses with a clothesline.
Doug Bacon misses with a clothesline.]
JV: Guess they don't teach the clothesline at the Underground School of
Wrestling.
[Mr. America takes him down with a Hotshot.
Mr. America executes a clawhold.
Doug Bacon reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.]
VM: And Mr. America decides to use a submission hold of his own.
JV: Kinda ironic to have the Underground move used by an Underground
member on a Underground member. And Mr. America is wincing in pain now.
Apparently that clawhold wasn't such a good idea with his injured right
hand.
[Mr. America goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but Doug Bacon counters it
with a duck-down move.
Mr. America is bleeding like hell.]
VM: And blood is just pouring out of Mr. America's right hand.
JV: And you noticed that because his hand is hurt, he tried to use his
left arm for that forearm smash, and that's why Bacon was able to duck
it easily.
[Doug Bacon nails him with an elbowsmash.
Doug Bacon takes him down with a Russian legsweep.
Doug Bacon gives the sign for the Fried Bacon.]
VM: And it looks like Dougie is going to try to end the match!
[Doug Bacon places Mr. America on the turnbuckle.
Doug Bacon goes for the Fried Bacon, but Mr. America counters it with
a throw-off.]
JV: Nope. Mr. America smartly pushes Doug Bacon off the turnbuckle.
[Mr. America takes him down with a diving shoulderblock.
Joe Camel counts: One, kickout.]
VM: And Mr. America takes advantage of the fallen Doug Bacon and nails
him hard with that diving shoulderblock.
JV: But Bacon was able to get out of before Camel Joe even counted to 2.
[Mr. America whips Doug Bacon into the turnbuckle, but Doug Bacon reverses it.
Doug Bacon charges into the corner, but Mr. America moves out of the way.
Mr. America whips Doug Bacon into the ropes.
Doug Bacon hits Mr. America with a clothesline.
Doug Bacon is going for the pin.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
VM: And Mr. America went down hard after that clothesline. And he was
barely able to get a shoulder up in time.
[Doug Bacon takes him down with a camel clutch.
Mr. America reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Mr. America goes for a reverse neckbreaker, but Doug Bacon blocks it.
Doug Bacon nails him with a clawhold.
Mr. America reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Doug Bacon goes over to his corner and chugs down a beer.]
JV: Doug's getting a bit cocky. He's got Mr. America on the ropes,
literally, and he just walks away to grab a beer.
[Doug Bacon executes a spinning power bomb.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
VM: And that elixir of Doug's didn't help him keep America down for a
count of three.
[Doug Bacon catches him in a flying legdrop.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
VM: And again America manages to get his shoulder up before Smokin' Joe
Camel counts to three.
[Doug Bacon throws Mr. America out of the ring.
Joe Camel counts: one, two, three, four, Mr. America reenters the ring.]
VM: America re-enters and uh-oh, Bacon is already in mid-air as America
stands up!
[Doug Bacon nails him with a flying forearm.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, three.]
VM: And that's all she wrote as Bacon moves on and Mr. America packs his
bags.
CR: The winner of the match, and advancing to the A-Side Finals.. Doug Bacon!
VM: A very impressive win. next up, we get to see 2 other Underground
members battle it out to advance to the tournament. Let's go up to Cal
Ripken for the introductions.
CR: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall with the
winner advancing in the tournament. Introducing first, from Nameless,
TN, weighing it at 333 pounds, here is Phoenix!!
["Shitlist" by L7 plays through the PA system and suddenly the aisleway
is engulfed in flames. When the flames die down, Phoenix emerges and
walks down to the ring.]
CR: And his opponent, from London, England, weighing in at 275 pounds,
here is Dr. Hate!!
["How Do I Know" by Leather Strip blares through the PA system as Dr.
Hate walks towards the ring. When he enters the ring, he salutes
Phoenix who returns the salute.]
VM: The two men are getting the pleasantries out of the way.
JV: I think it's good that they show that they don't mind wrestling each
other. Things like this normally tear alliances and tag teams apart.
But The Underground will stick together no matter what the result.
[The Bell Rings
They lock up.
Dr. Hate takes him down with an armbar submission.
Phoenix reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.]
VM: Isn't that exactly how the last match started?
JV: Yeah. but Phoenix got out in 5 seconds instead of 15.
[Phoenix executes a short clothesline.
Phoenix runs into the ropes.
Phoenix hits Dr. Hate with a clothesline.]
VM: And Phoenix gets his offense going with a pair of clotheslines.
[Phoenix executes a chinlock deathlock submission.
Dr. Hate reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Phoenix nails him with a short clothesline.
Phoenix goes for a double chickenwing submission, but Dr. Hate blocks
it.]
VM: Dr. Hate was prepared for that submission move and is now on the
offensive.
[Dr. Hate takes him down with a rolling kick.
Dr. Hate executes a chop.
Dr. Hate goes for the Assisted Suicide, but Phoenix counters it with a
side step.]
VM: Dr. Hate trying to end this one early.
JV: And Phoenix is a bit upset that the Dr. tried that on him.
[Phoenix throws Dr. Hate out of the ring.
Phoenix goes through the ropes.
Phoenix reenters the ring.
Dr. Hate follows him back in.]
JV: Phoenix goes outside out of instinct, then realizes that there's no
sense in risking serious injury to a fellow Undergrounder.
[Phoenix executes a Samoan Drop.
Phoenix nails him with a sunset flip.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
VM: And Phoenix gets in the first pin attempt of the night, but alas it
was unsuccessful.
JV: Alas? What, you've been reading Shakespeare lately?
VM: Alas, poor Yurick, I knew him well.
[Phoenix takes him down with a flying lariat.
Phoenix executes a double chickenwing submission.
Dr. Hate reaches the ropes after being trapped for 16 seconds.]
VM: And Dr. Hate was in that double chickenwing submission.
JV: Still haven't seen that single chickenwing submission.
VM: Why do you insist that there is one?
JV: If there's a double chickenwing submission, there's got to be a
single chickenwing submission hold. Otherwise, they would've just
called it a chickenwing submission.
VM: I guess you got a point there.
[Phoenix whips Dr. Hate into the ropes.
Phoenix misses with a clothesline.
Dr. Hate takes him down with a back heel kick.
Dr. Hate executes a clawhold.
Phoenix reaches the ropes after being trapped for 16 seconds.]
VM: And now Dr. Hate puts a submission hold on Phoenix.
JV: And he was in there for about the same time as Dr. Hate.
[Dr. Hate goes for a dragon suplex, but Phoenix blocks it.
Phoenix executes a jumping DDT.
Phoenix throws Dr. Hate out of the ring.
Phoenix goes through the ropes.
Phoenix whips Dr. Hate into the guardrail.]
JV: It looks like all bets are off and Phoenix will do anything to win.
[Dr. Hate takes him down with an octopus hold.
Dr. Hate knocks Phoenix into the ringpost.
Phoenix is busted wide open.]
VM: And there's an impressive move. Dr. Hate had Phoenix in a octopus
hold then dove forward rammming Phoenix into the ringpost.
JV: And Blood starts to pour out of that cut on Phoenix's forehead. I
bet he's regretting taking this outside.
[Dr. Hate goes for a cobra clutch, but Phoenix counters it with
an armdrag takedown.
Phoenix executes the Razzle Dazzle on the concrete floor.
Dr. Hate is out cold.]
JV: Well I guess that's one way to get back.
VM: I am really surprised that these Underground members are just
tearing each other apart.
JV: Well they're like animals when they smell gold.
[Phoenix reenters the ring.
Dr. Hate follows him back in.
Dr. Hate executes a rolling kick.
Dr. Hate nails him with a chop.
Dr. Hate executes the Assisted Suicide and goes for the pin.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.]
VM: And after barely making it back into the ring, Dr. Hate almost gets
the win with that finisher of his.
JV: Phoenix got his shoulder up a split second before Joe Camel hit
three.
[Phoenix goes for a sunset flip, but Dr. Hate blocks it.
Dr. Hate executes a small package.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.]
VM: Phoenix is in trouble as again, he was barely able to get his
shoulder up in time.
[Dr. Hate executes an armbar submission.
Phoenix reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Phoenix is bleeding like a faucet.
Phoenix executes a jumping DDT.]
VM: Dr. Hate's armbar and Phoenix's blood loss is not enough to keep the
big man down.
JV: Well a man of his size has a lot of blood, so he'll have to bleed
for a long time before he starts to feel the effects.
[Phoenix executes a Russian legsweep.
Phoenix goes for a Samoan Drop, but Dr. Hate counters it with an elbowsmash.
Phoenix is bleeding profusely.
Dr. Hate executes an armbar submission.
Phoenix reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.]
VM: Hate again is unsuccessful with the armbar. It looks like he's
going for another submission hold.
[Dr. Hate goes for a sleeperhold, but Phoenix counters it with a jawbreaker.
Phoenix goes for a sunset flip, but Dr. Hate counters it with a sitdown.
Joe Camel counts: One, kickout.
Dr. Hate takes him down with an octopus hold.
Phoenix reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.]
JV: And it looks like Phoenix is running out of luck as just about
everything he does, the good Doctor has a counter for it.
[Dr. Hate goes for a sleeperhold, but Phoenix blocks it.
Phoenix executes a Hotshot.
Phoenix places Dr. Hate on the turnbuckle.
Phoenix takes him down with a top-rope DDT.]
VM: And Phonix does his version of the Fried Bacon, and now he's going
for the pin.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.
Phoenix takes him down with a DDT.
Phoenix nails him with a Victory Roll.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.]
VM: And now Dr. Hate is having trouble as he barely got his shoulder up
in time.
[Phoenix throws Dr. Hate out of the ring.
Phoenix goes through the ropes.]
JV: And the two weary men go to the outside. Expect some brutal moves.
[Phoenix knocks Dr. Hate into the ringpost.
Phoenix whips Dr. Hate into the guardrail.
Phoenix whips Dr. Hate into the guardrail.]
VM: Well Phoenix didn't waste anytime introducing Dr. Hate to some
steel.
[Dr. Hate whips Phoenix into the guardrail.
Phoenix knocks Dr. Hate into the ringsteps.
Phoenix throws Dr. Hate back into the ring.]
VM: And Phoenix thinks enough damage has been done.
[Phoenix executes a clawhold.
Dr. Hate reaches the ropes after being trapped for 6 seconds.
Phoenix executes a front-layout superplex.
Phoenix takes him down with a headlock takedown.]
JV: Hate is reeling now. And HERE COMES PHOENIX!!
[Phoenix goes for a flying lariat, but Dr. Hate counters it with
a fist to the midsection.
Dr. Hate nails him with a small package.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
VM: Dr. Hate stopped that flying lariat and then tried to get the win
with that small package, but was unsuccessful.
[Dr. Hate goes for an armbar submission, but Phoenix blocks it.
Phoenix whips Dr. Hate into the ropes.
Dr. Hate executes a back heel kick.
Phoenix is bleeding profusely.]
JV: Phoenix is beginning to feel the effects of that blood loss now.
Blood is just all over the ring.
[Dr. Hate goes for a sleeperhold, but Phoenix counters it with a jawbreaker.
Phoenix executes the Razzle Dazzle and goes for the pin.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, three.]
VM: And Phoenix pulled that Razzle Dazzle out of nowhere and gets the
win!
JV: That was a really brutal, yet great match between two of the
Underground's finest.
CR: The winner of the match, and advancing to the A-Side finals... Phoenix!.
VM: So Phoenix and Doug Bacon advance to the A-Side finals. Your
prediction as to who wins that match Johnny?
JV: I'd have to go with Bacon. As long as there's a beer in his corner,
he's going to win.
VM: Well I have to agree with you, but not for the same reason. Phoenix
took a real beating in that match where Bacon blew through his so I think
Bacon has the advantage since he's in better health.
JV: I'm shocked that we agree.
VM: So am I. Well that does it for us. We'll see you from D.C. for SWF
Slaughterhouse. But don't go anywhere! We send you now to
Gabe Zachery-Colbert.
[Scene switches to Gabe Zachery-Colbert at his desk.]
GZC: Welcome back, and things certainly are shaping up aren't they? What
an exciting evening this has been thus far! It is well worth any dollar amount
you, as a fan of wrestling excitement, has spent. Can you say that about
every organisation? I think not.
Now, we've got both the A-Side and the B-Side finals set. In the B-Side finals
Jagged Edge will face the Vigilante; and in the A-Side finals, Phoenix and Doug
Bacon will lock horns in a re-match from last Tuesdays awesome match up.
Oh, and if you call 1-900-555-SWF1 right now you can talk to Mr. America,
Moon Dog Gator and "Hardcore" Billy Talent. Don't miss your chance at 1.99 a minute.
Now lets take it to Robert Jones and Tom Rogers standing by!
[Scene switches to Robert Jones and Tom Roger sitting at their announcer's table
right at ringside. There is a fan with a sign right behind Tom that says "Don't
Oil The Motormouth" and he doesn't notice.]
RJ: Welcome back to ringside fans! We're getting our first taste of SWF Pay Per View
excitement and after this who could ask for anything more? I certainly couldn't, I'm
blown away! This is unbelievable! If you like any specific sort of wrestling.. technical,
brawling, outside the ring action, than you'll have thoroughly enjoyed SWF World Title
Mania up to this point. Plus we've gotten so much great work by our colleagues who
nicely enough put in special appearances tonight and have also offered to do the same
thing should the need ever arise again. They have done a fantastic job and we're so
happy to have them.
TR: Well, I for one could live without hearing that punk Lionheart say another goody, goody
word, I put up with that crap enough from Canuck already!
RJ: Who will join us by the way during the final match of the evening.
TR: [sarcastically] Hurrah!
RJ: What do you think of the action thus far Tom?
TR: Well I have to tell you Jones, the Underground is doing what they always do..
kicking ass! Who would have expected anything less? Not me that's for sure.
Of course Yvette has to come up with some psycho tournament plan where the losers
can come back and win. What's with that? Not like it's gonna happen though.
RJ: It certainly will be tough, the A-Side final is first so the winner of that gets a
longer rest before the title match, plus they already only have to get one pinfall while
their opponent needs two. That's a nice little advantage and near impossible odds on
the other side of the fence.
TR: Damn straight it is. It wouldn't be so tough if it wasn't Underground waiting
for them. Either Doug or Phoenix will be the first SWF World Champion.
RJ: and they'll lock up for the second time in 5 days in mere minutes! Lets go back to
Joe Hall who has done a tremendous job tonight.
TR: At least he isn't drunk again... yet. Wait 'till after the show!
RJ: Tom!
TR: What?
[Doug Bacon's heavy metal version of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" starts to play]
JH: Ladies and Gentlemen.. this is the A-Side Finals! [pop] It is scheduled for no
disqualifications and no count outs. Introducing first, hailing
from Sudbury, Ontario. Weighing in at 340lbs. Being led to the ring by Paul
VonBraun, here is the master of the Fried Bacon and a member of the Underground
Alliance....Doug "Beer Drinking" Bacon!
[As Paul VonBraun and Doug Bacon walk from the bullpen through the Oriole's mouth
they are met with loud boos from the audience. Paul is carrying a 6 pack of Canadian
beer and he leaves it in Doug's corner.]
RJ: Of course Doug Bacon brings his beer. Tell me Tom, what does Doug have to do
to win this match up.
TR: Well, he has to stay original, he beat Phoenix this Tuesday, but now Phoenix has
seen what Doug can do so he has to mix it up a bit, and use his slight power advantage.
Phoenix on the other hand has the stamina and speed over Doug. It should be a hell
of a match, and unlike some other alliances the Underground always goes at each other
tooth and nail!
RJ: I can't disagree with you there Motormouth. They certainly did in the A-Side
Semi-Finals. Those were two of the most exciting matches so far.
["Shitlist" by L7 starts to play]
TR: Here we go...
JH: and his opponent, Hailing from Tennessee and weighing in at 333lbs. Here is the master of the
Razzle Dazzle and a member of the Underground Alliance... Phoenix!
[Phoenix walks out to the ring area. He stops just at
the entry wait to the ring, where flames shoot out of the Oriole's eyes. He
looks around at the women near the ring area, with a few of them going
crazy after seeing him. He looks at Doug Bacon with a glare of
confidence. He then climbs into the ring.]
RJ: Look at that confidence oozing out of Phoenix. That seems a little odd to me
considering he lost to this same man just last Tuesday in the Triumphant Tuesday
Main Event.
TR: Yeah Jones, but Phoenix is that way damn it! He could be facing the lord
himself and still be a cocky SOB. It's the way he is and we damn well don't want
to change a thing!
RJ: That's your opinion.
TR: The only one that counts.
RJ: Lets get this match underway!
[The Bell Rings
They lock up.
Phoenix nails him with a Russian legsweep.
Phoenix goes for a short clothesline, but Doug Bacon counters it with
a duck-down move.
Phoenix nails him with a Samoan Drop.]
RJ: Doug Bacon gets out the way... but Phoenix caught him!
TR: Look at that speed! That was the advantage I said he had.
[Phoenix throws Doug Bacon out of the ring.
Phoenix goes through the ropes.
The up close crowd stands up and everyone gasps]
RJ: The match has already spilled to the outside! Could this be an omen?
TR: Omen? Maybe. Lets hope so. I'll tell ya' though, you don't want to mess
around with Doug on the outside for too long, he's a dirty brawler. Phoenix
can play that game, but Doug's got him there.
[Phoenix knocks Doug Bacon into the ringpost.
The crowd gasps]
RJ: Right into the steel post! Doug Bacon drops like a ton of bricks! This is
getting violent and quick.
TR: The gold is on the line, win this one and it's almost a lock.
RJ: Uh Oh, Phoenix is moving down on Doug with his hand stuck out.
[Phoenix goes for a clawhold, but Doug Bacon blocks it.]
TR: Doug saw the Underground move a comin' I think they need to use
original, individual stuff to get an edge on other UA men.
[Paul VonBraun comes from behind and distracts Phoenix.]
RJ: Hey! Get him out of there! Where's Bacon going?
[From the crowd Bobby Heenan hands Doug Bacon is handed a frying pan.]
TR: Bobby comes through! It's two managers on none out there!
RJ: Doug Bacon's retired manager Bobby Heenan helps Doug play dirty pool!
Now he's sneaking up behind the distracted Phoenix who's having words with
a defensive VonBraun.
[Doug Bacon hits him with the frying pan.
Doug Bacon hits him with the frying pan.
Some older fans are going nuts while others gasp in shock]
RJ: Oh no! Oh no! This is getting out of hand and we're hardly into the match
Tom!
TR: Twice to the head... that's vicious! Phoenix is twitching around on the canvas
like that. Boy, that's trouble for the ladies man, that's for sure!
RJ: It looks like Bacon planned against his fellow alliance member.
TR: Don't go starting trouble, Heanen just had an inspiration, that's all.
RJ: Hey, it's VonBraun again!
[Paul VonBraun comes from behind]
RJ: He's sneaking up on the fallen Phoenix!
[but Phoenix nails Paul VonBraun..
Large crowd pop]
TR: No!!
RJ: Whoa! Paul VonBraun goes flying! Phoenix has had enough of his meddling!
Do you think this could cause dissension Motormouth?
TR: Of course not... and would you quit calling me that already?... the Underground
has been around for 1 full year as of today, little things like this aren't gonna tear 'em
apart after reaching this milestone!
RJ: These two sure are battling though! Dirty pool, outside action..
TR: Joe Camel too busy with his radiation treatment to count.
RJ: No DQs, No Count Outs.
TR: Oh yeah! All right!
RJ: What's Bacon doing now, he hasn't noticed his fallen manager.
[Doug Bacon sets up a table.]
TR: All right! Table! This is getting more exciting by the minute Jones! I may be
a big Underground man, but I still love seeing them tear each other apart because
it's damn fine entertainment.
[Doug Bacon takes him down with a flying forearm.
Phoenix is busted wide open.]
TR: He sprung a leak!
RJ: Oh no! Phoenix is busted open! He's been cut right above the eyes as Doug
Bacon's forearm slammed hard into it.
TR: Now watch how the master takes advantage of this. Oh boy is my man
Phoenix in some hot water now!
[Doug Bacon knocks Phoenix into the ringsteps.
The crowd gasps]
RJ: Gadzucks!
TR: They heard that in the cheap seats! That's what you call working on a cut Jones.
RJ: Where's he dragging Phoenix? Don't tell me the table is now coming into play.
[Doug Bacon sets up Phoenix on the table.]
TR: It is Jones, it is! This could be the final curtain call for Phoenix, no one can stand
this much of a beating. If he hits it though... power bomb time!
[Doug Bacon tries to drive Phoenix through the table with a power bomb, but he
blocks it.]
RJ: No, he can't do it motromouth! Phoenix won't let him!
TR: I think Phoenix finally figured out what was about to happen to him, and the impact
of it, so there was no way in hell he was gonna let it happen. Did you see his face, he
gave every once he had to stop that, now what's this?
[Phoenix takes him down with a double chickenwing submission.]
RJ: He locks in the chickenwing on top of the table! I can't believe it!
TR: How'd he do that? He was about to be power bombed and he turned it into a
chickenwing! Talk about resourceful Jones. Look at him put the pressure on!
RJ: Look at the look of pain in Doug Bacon's face, no matter how hard he tries to
hide it he can't! Phoenix is turning this match around with this hold.
TR: He gets to rest and he takes a lot out of Doug, who's one weakness had to be
the stamina. My oh my! What brains this Phoenix had and people thought his
problem was ring knowledge.
RJ: Phoenix has finally let go of the hold. Now he's setting up Bacon on the table!
He's not going to DDT him onto the table?
[Phoenix sets up Doug Bacon on the table.]
TR: That's what it looks like!
RJ: Cover your kid's eyes mom and dad!
[Phoenix tries to drive Doug Bacon through the table with a DDT, but he
blocks it.]
RJ: Bacon won't budge! He's trying again.... Bacon won't budge! Well
how about that Tom... whoa!
[Doug Bacon nails him with a short lariat.]
TR: Short lariat and off the table they go. Both men outta thank their lucky
starts they didn't get put through that table. Hey, look what Phoenix found!
RJ: Oh no...
[Phoenix hits him with the frying pan.
Doug Bacon is busted wide open.]
RJ: Oh no!
TR: Did you see how fast that went from the floor to the face of Doug Bacon!
I can't believe we're seeing a frying pan and 5 minutes worth of outside the ring
action in a World Title Tournament Jones!
RJ: There's blood all over Doug Bacon's face.. did that just happen?
TR: Is that his own or is it leaking off Phoenix? I think they're both cut open
Jones. Holy red sea and it's about 20 feat from us!
RJ: Now Phoenix is propping the bloody Bacon up on the table again!
[Phoenix sets up Doug Bacon on the table.]
TR: Third time is the charm?
[Phoenix executes a DDT through the table.
The table is broken in half.
The hardcore marks go nuts while everyone else gasps really loud!]
RJ: WOW! Un-Be-Lievable!
TR: How do you like that? I said, how do you like that!
RJ: He broke the table in half with Doug Bacon's skull! This is brutal, this is
vicious...
TR: This is fun! Live on Pay Per View!
RJ: Oh no, Phoenix has the frying pan again.
TR: He's gonna kill him!
[Phoenix hits him with the frying pan.
More gasping, they must be running out of air]
RJ: This is sick! Bacon is a complete bloody mess, there's blood everywhere,
how is he still conscious!
TR: It's the beer damn it! the beer!
RJ: Look at Phoenixes face.. he's not unaffected is he motormouth.
TR: Battle scars a plenty, this is a war, and these two are friends! Imagine what
one of them will do to the winner of the B-Side in a No DQ, No Count Out Match.
[Phoenix reenters the ring.]
RJ: Phoenix is heading back to the inside, it looks like he wants to sit back and rest
while Doug Bacon just loses blood on the outside.
TR: Well he should jump on this... maybe he can't.
RJ: You know Tom, these two are killing each other, how can they possibly be ready for
the finals after this match, even if they get the rest?
TR: [awkward silence] Oh crap... no, no, no don't worry Robert, these guys are so damn
tough that they could be bloodier than a rare steak and still wrestle a second match
seconds later and win.
RJ: Lets not go overboard motormouth, they just have to hope that the B-Side wrestlers
go through the same thing, or the odds could be evened. Doug Bacon is crawling over to
the ringsteps Tom! Can you believe this, he's still got motion!
TR: Wow, these guys never cease to amaze me Jones, I'll tell ya'.. look at this... he's on
his feet Jones, he's on his feet!
RJ: Doug Bacon is climbing up the stairs, and he's on his way back in. That's
toughness personified.
TR: Couldn't agree more. These two men are as tough as they come and boy do they want
that gold.
[Doug Bacon follows him back in.
Phoenix runs into the ropes.]
RJ: Here comes a rested Phoenix!
[Doug Bacon hits Phoenix with a clothesline.
Phoenix falls out of the ring.
The crowd gasps again!]
RJ: OH! Clothesline by Bacon! And Phoenix flies over the top.. and out! No way!
TR: He leaped up and caught him! Douggie caught Phoenix totally by surprise, there
is no way he should have been able to nail a huge clothesline out of no where like that
after what Phoenix put him through! I guess Underground men just aren't normal.
[Doug Bacon goes through the ropes.]
RJ: Now Bacon is looking for a bit of payback. He may have been playing a bit of
possum there motormouth.
TR: You can't fake blood Jones.
[Doug Bacon nails him with a Russian legsweep.
Doug Bacon takes him down with a jack-knife power bomb.]
RJ: Jack-Knife! And Phoenix slams down with a tremendous thud!
TR: and Doug keeps at it, he grabs him by the hair and look where Phoenixes skull
is heading...
[Doug Bacon knocks Phoenix into the ringsteps.
More gasping, but after what they've seen it's not such a shock]
RJ: Unbelievable punishment going back and forth and they just keep coming back!
Either of these men deserve to win and neither deserve to lose!
TR: Give them both a title!
RJ: The title isn't even won after this match.
TR: Stupid, damn Yvette and his freakin' original ideas, what the hell is with that?!
[Doug Bacon takes him down with an armbar submission.]
RJ: Now Bacon moves Phoenix into a submission hold, he's got that armbar locked in.
TR: I said this before when Phoenix had the chickenwing on, you may have to work a
hold, but it's still a hell of a break from senseless beatings!
[A gorgeous woman hops over the guardrail and runs to ringside past security]
RJ: What in the world!
[While Doug Bacon is jawing with some fans the woman hands Phoenix a chair
she than jumps back over the guardrail]
RJ: Wait a second, wait a second!
TR: Phoenixes charm saves him again! So long submission!
[Phoenix hits him with the chair.]
RJ: Bacon flies off Phoenix and drops to the ground like a sac of potatoes!
TR: Well I would have worded it differently, but yeah.
RJ: Phoenix shakes off the cobwebs and he hasn't dropped the chair yet.
TR: Fallen pray...
[Phoenix hits him with the chair.]
RJ: and again with the chair! Doug Bacon was starting to get back up, but not for
long! I'll tell you Tom this match has been just brutal!
TR: For us anyway.
RJ: I guess Vance and Johnny are used to this stuff. Phoenix picks Bacon up by
the hair again...
[Phoenix knocks Doug Bacon into the ringpost.]
TR: Douggie has steel for dinner! Bango!
RJ: Bacon drops again. This is just crazy! Now what?
TR: This looks pretty Razzly, and Dazzly now that I think about it.
RJ: Phoenix has picked up Bacon and he's got him set up for the 3 spin
swinging neckbreaker he calls the Razzle Dazzle. If he hits this Doug is toast!
TR: Not even Doug can kick out of that!
RJ: He goes around once, he goes around twice...
[Phoenix goes for the Razzle Dazzle, but Doug Bacon counters it with a facerake.]
RJ: He couldn't get the third! A desperate Bacon grabs onto some Phoenix face and
gets out of that horrible predicament.
TR: Man o man! This is something.
[Doug Bacon whips Phoenix into the guardrail.
Doug Bacon reenters the ring.]
RJ: Phoenix gets tossed like yesterday's trash and Doug Bacon is heading back in the
ring. Looks like he's hoping for a bit of a rest period after taking a lot on the outside.
TR: and Phoenix isn't going to give it to him!
[Phoenix follows him back in.
Phoenix brings the chair into the ring.]
RJ: Uh oh, now the foreign objects are following the action into the ring! Phoenix has
a chair!
TR: and he's moving quickly, look out!
[Phoenix takes a swing at Doug Bacon with the chair, but he gets out of the way.]
TR: He missed!
[Doug Bacon snatches the chair from him.
Doug Bacon hits him with the chair.]
RJ: Holy Cow! It backfired!
TR: Damn! Did you hear that smash onto Phoenixes skull. Look at these men,
they're warriors!
[Joe Camel throws the chair out of the ring.]
RJ: and Joe Camel gets sick and tired, as I am, of this constant and sickening bloody
display!
TR: This is what wrestling is meant to be Robert man! If only they'd let us put this on
national TV!
[Doug Bacon runs into the ropes.
Phoenix executes a jumping DDT.]
RJ: Bacon builds up speed and... where'd that come from!?
[Phoenix executes a headlock takedown.
Phoenix takes him down with a Russian legsweep.]
RJ: Quick moves from Phoenix and Bacon is down. Now he's heading upstairs!
TR: Look how fast he's moving.. high risk time!
[Phoenix takes him down with a flying headbutt.]
TR: It paid off!
RJ: This has got to be it!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
RJ: No! Bacon sneaks the shoulder up. Phoenix goes right back to work.
[Phoenix runs into the ropes.
Phoenix hits Doug Bacon with an elbow.]
RJ: Ouch, right to the jaw. Now he's taking Doug Bacon with him upstairs!
TR: What's he going to do?
[Phoenix nails him with a front-layout superplex.
Phoenix is going for the pin.]
TR: Nicely executed! Wowie!
RJ: Massive suplex there, what impact! Now can he put Doug Bacon away!
TR: he hasn't had his beer Jones, there could be trouble.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, Paul VonBraun distracts Joe Camel.
Loud negative pop, they just hate cheating either way]
RJ: Injustice! VonBraun sticks his nose in the match again! Why can't he just
let these two warriors fight this out?
TR: Because he's a manger you goof! Phoenix has got to be a little pissed at Paul
right now, but after he cools down it'll be fine.
RJ: and Phoenix is on his way back upstairs again! What's he going to do now?
Will anything be enough. Doug Bacon is stumbling to his feet and it looks like
Phoenix is waiting for him.
[Phoenix goes for the a flying lariat, but Paul von Bruan shoves him off
the turnbuckle.]
RJ: No! No! VonBraun has done it again!
TR: and look where he landed Jones, perfectly set up!
[Doug Bacon catches him in a power bomb.]
RJ: Powerbomb!
TR: Nicely done I must say. That ref best be counting I must say.
RJ: Now that's just scary.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.
Doug Bacon complains about a slow count.]
RJ: Only two! I can't believe Phoenix kicked out.
TR: Neither can Doug, he's none too pleased!
RJ: Wait! Doug is lifting Phoenix up...
[Doug Bacon places Phoenix on the turnbuckle.]
TR: You know what this means don't you Jones? Someone's getting Fried.
RJ: This could spell the end for Phoenix, he's got to find a counter, he's all
set up now!
[Doug Bacon executes the Fried Bacon and goes for the pin.]
RJ: He got him! He hit it!
TR: Well that'll do it. Pack it up, this ball game is over!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, three.]
RJ: What a match! Doug Bacon's your winner ladies and gentlemen, but both
men deserve credit. The one who doesn't is the despicable Paul VonBraun who
turned a great match into one marred with his interference. Now we'll never
know who truly deserved to win.
TR: Either way the Underground has a hell of a man in the ring for the finals, Doug is
on a high right now and he'll roll through Jagged Edge or the Vigilante in no time!
RJ: Both men are bloody messes! Lets get the official decision.
JH: The winner of the A-Side and advancing to the finals of World Title Mania....
Doug Bacon!
[Doug Bacon's heavy metal version of "99 bottles of beer on the wall" plays as
Paul VonBraun holds Doug Bacon's hands in the air. The fans boo and all
throw garbage at the ring.]
RJ: The fans are not happy with the way this one was decided.
TR: Paul's smart, he took advantage of the rules, they just don't know what smart is
that's all. Maybe someday people will learn to appreciate that.
[Doug Bacon walks over to Phoenix and helps him up. They shake hands. Phoenix
stays behind as Doug and Paul walk back down the aisle. He goes over to where that
girl was sitting, takes her hand and brings her back with him]
TR: [laughing] Ah Phoenix, gotta love 'im!
RJ: No, but I do have to respect him. Where are you Captain?
[scene switches to Captain Canuck at the concession stand area]
CC: Well Robert, I'm here with the fans getting a bite to eat after that match, I
missed most of it myself, closing my eyes and all. That just doesn't belong in
wrestling. I told Mr. America on Tuesday and I'll say it again.
Anyway, anyone want to say hi to a million or so people?
[an old man walks on to the screen]
Old Man: I came here expecting good amateur wrestling, you know, toe holds and all
that. What do I get? This blood crap! I'd like to give that referee a good chat!
CC: I wouldn't blame Mr. Camel sir, it was the rules of the match that caused this to
happen.
Old Man: Well it's disgusting, I'm never coming again.
Some Kid: Awww shut up ya' old fart! We love it!
Old Man: Damn generation X.
CC: Back to you guys.
[screen switches back to ringside]
JH: This match is the finals of the B-Side of World Title Mania! It is
scheduled for No Disqualifications and No Count Outs.
[Me Killa by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony blares out through the speakers
the fans start to boo]
JH: Introducing first. Hailing from Denver, Colorado. Weighing in at 287lbs.
Being led to the ring by Kim Kelly, here is the master of the Shattered Dreams...
Jagged Edge!
[Jagged Edge comes down to
ringside accompanied by his lovely manager, Kim Kelly, wearing a skin tight
leather dress. He struts down to ringside and the fans boo him big time.]
TR: I love it when we announce for Jagged Edge and Kim, it's such an uplifting
experience.
RJ: That's despicable! That's disgusting! That's just plain sick!
TR: [smiling] Yeah...
RJ: So what does Jagged Edge have to do to win.
TR: Not walkout. The Vigilante is a piece of trash.
RJ: I disagree, he's really showing strong technical ability combined with strength, he can
go places in the SWF. Including the finals of World Title Mania.
TR: Either guy here is in a hell of a lot of trouble. They have to win this match, than
face Doug Bacon minutes later in a match where they have to get 2 pins and the other
guy only needs one. Basically they have to go 3 and 0 in a period of like 20 minutes.
RJ: That is a very difficult task. Soon we'll find out if anyone is up to it.
JH: and his opponent.
["Uprising" by Damn Yankees plays]
JH: from Newark, New Jersey. Weighing in at 289lbs. Here is the master of the
Vendetta... The Vigilante!
[The Vigilante walks out of the bullpen and through the mouth of the Oriole. He is
greeted with a very large pop as the fans are behind the only guy left they like
100% He walks to the ring totally focused, gets in and tests the ropes.]
RJ: Look at the look of determination in the face of The Vigilante! He beat Moon Dog
Gator when the mysterious Gator mysteriously walked out.
TR: That was no mystery Jones, he did in on Tuesday as well, the guy is just a brainless,
inbred moron. Mr. America knows it, that's why he takes pity on him, but he got more
idiocy than he could handle. Hell, he's even dumber than Russ and Slaughter.
RJ: As for Jagged Edge, he beat "Hardcore" Billy Talent when Talent's choking
got out of hand. This match must be won via pin or submission, lets see
what happens shall we? Hey!
[The Vigilante attacks Jagged Edge before the bell.
The Vigilante goes for a choke slam, but Jagged Edge blocks it.
Jagged Edge places The Vigilante on the turnbuckle.]
RJ: An attack foiled! Now Edge lifts the Vigilante to the top turnbuckle!
[Jagged Edge gives him a belly-to-belly superplex, but The Vigilante
doesn't sell it at all.
The bell rings]
RJ: Now the bell has rung and we're officially into this match up. Already we're
getting high impact moves and big time aggressiveness.
TR: Woohoo! I hope they kill each other, the Underground will have the SWF World
Title!
[Jagged Edge executes a German suplex.
Joe Camel counts: One, shoulder up.]
RJ: Beautiful German suplex, but he can't hold him down.
[Jagged Edge whips The Vigilante into the ropes, but The Vigilante reverses it.
The Vigilante hits Jagged Edge with a clothesline.]
RJ: Reversal... and Jagged Edge is knocked down the canvas. He pops back up...
[The Vigilante nails him with a Russian legsweep.
Jagged Edge sits up.
The fans boo]
RJ: Look at that, he got hit with a Russian legsweep and he just sat right up.
TR: Looks like a cheap attempt at mind games to me. Don't get me wrong, I think
Edge is pretty cool and about 50 times better than our pansy little law man over
here, but sitting up after a legsweep is pointless and dumb!
[The Vigilante whips Jagged Edge into the turnbuckle.
The Vigilante gives him a kick to the midsection, but Jagged Edge doesn't budge.]
TR: Ouch!
RJ: Wait, look at Jagged Edge, he didn't even budge!
TR: If that doesn't hurt him than I still have a chance with Kim Kelly! Life is good!
[Jagged Edge nails him with a tilt-a-whirl piledriver.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: What a move! I've never seen that before earlier tonight and it's still impressive.
Only a two count. Now he's lifting him up.
[Jagged Edge goes for a powerslam, but The Vigilante counters it with a lariat.]
RJ: Great counter by the Vigilante and he's got Jagged Edge on his back. Look what's
coming up here!
TR: If he locks that in Edge is going to be in a world of hurt.
[The Vigilante nails him with a scorpion deathlock.]
RJ: He has the deathlock locked in! and already it's causing Edge some serious pain.
TR: The look on his face is like a tell all book Jones, he sure as hell is in pain.
RJ: Edge isn't going anywhere!
[The Vigilante lets go after 11 seconds.]
RJ: What?
TR: Why in the world would he do that? This guy's dumber than I thought!
[The Vigilante yells "You feel tough now, punk?" at his opponent.
Jagged Edge sits up.]
TR: Yeah! Stick it to the man! Vigilante got a little too cocky there and it got shoved
in his face.
RJ: and he looks pretty steamed about it!
[The Vigilante takes him down with a short clothesline.]
RJ: Down goes Jagged Edge. If I've done my research right motormouth, that's the
set up for The Vendetta.
TR: You mean the top rope branbuster... yikes! This ain't good!
RJ: He's hauling Jagged Edge up to the top rope! Here it comes Tom...
[The Vigilante places Jagged Edge on the turnbuckle.
The Vigilante executes the Vendetta and goes for the pin.
Huge pop]
RJ: He nailed it! The Vendetta perfectly executed.
TR: No! It can't end this early, Doug hasn't had enough time to rest damn it! Kick out
Edge, kick out!
RJ: This is probably it...
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, KICKOUT.]
RJ: No! He kicked out! Unreal!
TR: Yes, yes, yes! I knew it all along! This is the greatest thing since
canned beans!
RJ: and a major kickout it was, he sent the Vigilante flying and popped right up.
I'll tell ya', the look on the Vigilante's face is not one of joy that's for sure.
Here he comes!
[The Vigilante throws Jagged Edge out of the ring.
The Vigilante goes through the ropes.
They're brawling on the floor.]
RJ: Oh no! Over the top rope to the outside and both men start to brawl. They're
throwing punches back and forth, back and forth.
[Jagged Edge catches him in a reverse DDT.]
RJ: Where'd that come from!?
TR: Beautiful move. That was awesome! Now he takes it back to the inside, this
guy's pretty smart. Oh no! I don't want him to face Bacon... uh... where's the
Underground.
[Jagged Edge reenters the ring.]
RJ: I don't think Doug Bacon wants to face either of these tremendous athletes, so
there's no point interfiering.
TR: Well it's not that I don't have confidence in Doug, it's just that Edge looks awesome.
RJ: Don't sell the Vigilante short. The Vigilante is back ot his feat.
[The Vigilante follows him back in.
Jagged Edge catches him in a Northern Lights suplex.]
RJ: Another move out of no where!
[Joe Camel counts: One, shoulder up.]
RJ: and the Vigilante woke up quickly.
TR: Edge just didn't hit that one perfectly, he didn't do it right, otherwise he would have gotten
at least two.
RJ: Now Jagged Edge is hoisting him up... it looks like he's trying to get a powerslam!
[Jagged Edge goes for a powerslam, but The Vigilante counters it with a lariat.]
RJ: Whoa, great counter by The Vigilante who shows he's learning a lot about wrestling.
TR: I guess he is, but he's still a moron and that's all that counts in the end.
[The Vigilante whips Jagged Edge into the ropes.
The Vigilante takes him down with a thrust kick to the head.]
RJ: Edge goes off the ropes... and a big boot knocks him to the canvas. Now The Vigilante
picks him back up.
[The Vigilante executes a spinebuster slam.]
RJ: He nailed it perfectly! Great move and Joe Camel counts!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: No! The Vigilante can't put Jagged Edge away after the spinebuster slam.
TR: Looks like he's gonna take some time to gloat a bit.
[The Vigilante yells "You feel tough now, punk?" at Jagged Edge.]
TR: Shut up and wrestle you piece of trash!
RJ: After an unnecessary delay The Vigilante is now setting Jagged Edge up for a
neckbreaker.
[The Vigilante goes for a reverse neckbreaker, but Jagged Edge blocks it.]
RJ: Blocked, he tries again... blocked. He can't do it Tom!
[Jagged Edge nails him with the Doctor Bomb.]
TR: Yeah!
RJ: Doctor Bomb and boy does that hurt! The Vigilante waited too long, and he got bombed for it!
TR: The doctor is in the house... hey... look at this!
RJ: Jagged Edge is coming in from behind The Vigilante... he's going for the Shattered Dreams
sleeper hold!
[Jagged Edge executes the Shattered Dreams.]
RJ: Shattered Dreams locked in! He locked it in!
TR: Now just watch an already tired Vigilante fade out...
RJ: He's slumping... now referee Joe Camel is going to raise the arms. Once... it dropped.
[The crowd is cheering on The Vigilante]
RJ: Twice... it dropped! This is close to being over motormouth, if that arm drops one more
time Jagged Edge is going to face Doug Bacon right in this ring in mere minutes for the
SWF World Title!
TR: I don't see any signs of life!
RJ: Third time... IT DROPPED!
[The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos as Jagged Edge lets go of the Shattered Dreams
and raises his arms in the air]
RJ: Jagged Edge put The Vigilante to sleep!
TR: The Vigilant put me to sleep!
RJ: Would you stop!?
TR: Nah.
RJ: Another great match in one exciting evening of wrestling ladies and gentlemen!
What a Pay Per View so far, and we're far from over!
JH: The winner of the B-Side and advancing to the finals of World Title Mania....
Jagged Edge!
["Me Killa" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony plays as Kim Kelly runs into the ring and hugs
Jagged Edge who raises his arms in victory and than precedes to flex for the booing crowd.]
RJ: Well Jagged Edge certainly wasn't the popular winner, but a deserving one, he
capitalised on The Vigilante's mistakes and when you do that is pro-wrestling you
win matches. Now the truetest for Jagged Edge will be can he beat the powerful and
seemingly unstoppable Doug Bacon twice in a row minutes after a tough match?
I doubt it.
[Jagged Edge lies down in the middle of the ring to take a breather.]
RJ: Lets go to Gabe in the control centre.
[Scene switches to the control centre. He's shaking his head and smiling ]
GB: Wow! This is what it's all about ladies and gentlemen. I've been on the edge of my
seat all night and those last two matches nearly gave me several heart attacks! I can't
believe the great action we're seeing tonight!
So, now the finals are set, we are one match away from having our first Supreme Wrestling
Federation champion! After the vicious battle of World Title Mania up to this point we ended
up with two excellent wrestlers in the finals. Jagged Edge and Doug Bacon. Lets take a look
at each wrestler's road to the finals...
<<>
GB: Jagged Edge's first match was with Dr. Hate. Of course it seemed more like a two on
one right off the get go.
--------------------------------------------
[All of a sudden there are cheers heard and the fans stand up. Mr. America comes
running out from the crowd.]
DMcR: It's Mr. America!
[Mr. America nails him from
behind with lariat. Mr. America pushes Kim Kelly to the guardrail and
picks up Jagged Edge.]
Louis: That's despicable, he pushed a lady!
[Mr. America executes a Russian legsweep. Mr. America picks up Jagged
Edge and sets him up for the Made in Ameirca. Mr. America gives the sign
for the Made in America and then executes it onto
the arena floor.]
DMcR: The Made In America leaping piledriver!
Bob: Goonight Edge! That's what I call revenge.
[Mr. America walks down to the commentator's table and
grabs the mic. He walks back over to Jagged Edge. Mr. America looks at
Kim Kelly and spits at her.]
Louis: Now he spit on a lady! I thought he had an attitude change? This is wrong.
America-Jagged Edge, looks to me like you're as sharp as a dull spoon.
Pray to God that you don't face me tonight. Better yet, you won't get by
Dr. Hate. Edge, I'll seey a again real soon snookums.
[Mr. America hits Jagged Edge with the mic and spits at Kim Kelly one more
time before walking back up the aisle.]
Louis: Now it will be near impossible for Jagged Edge to beat Dr. Hate after
that vicious attack. Those Underground members are all just thugs!
----------------------------------------------
GZC: Dr. Hate and Jagged Edge would actually wrestle
and it was arguably the best match of the first round. Unfortunately for
Jagged Edge he couldn't handle the Assisted Suicide the third time.
---------------------------------------------
[Jagged Edge goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Dr. Hate blocks it. Dr. Hate
whips Jagged Edge into the ropes. Jagged Edge misses with an elbow. Dr. Hate
executes a chop. Dr. Hate executes the Assisted Suicide and goes for the pin.]
DMcR: We've seen this move for the third time, will it get Dr. Hate the win?
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, three.]
Louis: Dr. Hate gets the fast win, but both wrestlers put on an excellent show.
What a wrestling match!
----------------------------------------------
GZC: He didn't give up thought, Jagged Edge knew he could still make it to the
finals and he could still get his hand on SWF Gold. So he fought hard and ended
up winning his next match with "Hardcore" Billy Talent when the Hardcore one
went a little overboard with his frustration and choked Edge too much for Joe
Camel's liking.
----------------------------------------------
Jagged Edge takes him down with a
spinning power bomb. Joe Camel counts: One, two, thr... kickout.]
PVB: This is getting ridiculous. This match should've ended a long time ago
because it's one of those space fillers.
DT: Paul, the fans are into this match as both men are really show casing
their talent.
[Hardcore Billy Talent whips Jagged Edge into the ropes. Hardcore Billy
Talent nails him with a chokehold. Joe Camel counts: One, two, three,
four. Joe Camel counts: One, two, three, four, five. Joe Camel
disqualifies Hardcore Billy Talent.]
PVB: Thank you!
DT: Talent refused to release that chokehold and Joe Camel disqualified
Billy Talent because of it. Let's get the official word.
----------------------------------------------
GZC: Now Jagged Edge was starting to pick up a bit of momentum. That is
when he was thrown into the ring with a determined and 100% fan backed
Vigilante. Jagged Edge came through.
-----------------------------------------------
[The Vigilante goes for a reverse neckbreaker, but Jagged Edge blocks it.]
RJ: Blocked, he tries again... blocked. He can't do it Tom!
[Jagged Edge nails him with the Doctor Bomb.]
TR: Yeah!
RJ: Doctor Bomb and boy does that hurt! The Vigilante waited too long, and he got bombed for it!
TR: The doctor is in the house... hey... look at this!
RJ: Jagged Edge is coming in from behind The Vigilante... he's going for the Shattered Dreams
sleeper hold!
[Jagged Edge executes the Shattered Dreams.]
RJ: Shattered Dreams locked in! He locked it in!
TR: Now just watch an already tired Vigilante fade out...
RJ: He's slumping... now referee Joe Camel is going to raise the arms. Once... it dropped.
[The crowd is cheering on The Vigilante]
RJ: Twice... it dropped! This is close to being over motormouth, if that arm drops one more
time Jagged Edge is going to face Doug Bacon right in this ring in mere minutes for the
SWF World Title!
TR: I don't see any signs of life!
RJ: Third time... IT DROPPED!
[The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos as Jagged Edge lets go of the Shattered Dreams
and raises his arms in the air]
----------------------------------------------
GZC: and that was just moments ago. Jagged Edge is still in the ring resting as he'll be
forced into action mere minutes after his last match. As for Doug Bacon, well his road
to the finals wasn't exactly easy. First he had to face the strange Moon Dog Gator in a
match that took a lot out of both men.
-----------------------------------------------
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout. Moon Dog Gator begs off. Moon Dog
Gator whips Doug Bacon into the ropes, but Doug Bacon reverses it. Doug
Bacon catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.]
DT: Bacon takes him over with a belly-to-belly suplex!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, three.]
-----------------------------------------------
GZC: After facing Moon Dog, Bacon moved into the all Underground A-Side where
he faced his friend and ally Mr. America in a back and forth wrestling encounter.
-----------------------------------------------
[Doug Bacon throws Mr. America out of the ring.
Joe Camel counts: one, two, three, four, Mr. America reenters the ring.]
VM: America re-enters and uh-oh, Bacon is already in mid-air as America
stands up!
[Doug Bacon nails him with a flying forearm.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, three.]
VM: And that's all she wrote as Bacon moves on and Mr. America packs his
bags.
------------------------------------------------
GZC: Finally, Doug Bacon locked up with Phoenix in a brutal and I mean brutal rematch
of their Main Event encounter this past Tuesday on Triumphant Tuesday Live. This
match had unbelievable outside the ring action that was finally finished off by Doug
and the move he's made famous.
------------------------------------------------
RJ: Wait! Doug is lifting Phoenix up...
[Doug Bacon places Phoenix on the turnbuckle.]
TR: You know what this means don't you Jones? Someone's getting Fried.
RJ: This could spell the end for Phoenix, he's got to find a counter, he's all
set up now!
[Doug Bacon executes the Fried Bacon and goes for the pin.]
RJ: He got him! He hit it!
TR: Well that'll do it. Pack it up, this ball game is over!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, three.]
---------------------------------------------
GZC: That's how we got to where we are. This is going to be the biggest match
of both these men's careers. Lets take you back to ringside!
[Screen switches to a shot of Tom Rogers and Robert Jones at their announcer's table
the crowd is going crazy behind them]
RJ: Well folks, it has all come down to this. Jagged Edge and Doug Bacon have
both fought hard to get to the finals and now all that is thrown out the door, all that
matters now is this match, win here or all those other wins mean nothing! Lets not
forget though, that Jagged Edge has to pin Doug Bacon twice and Doug only has to pin
him once.
TR: Plus Doug has had a long, needed rest since his A-Side final match. He got to watch
Jagged Edge vs. The Vigilante from a couch with a couple beers in hand and he'll be
ready for this one.
RJ: Don't forget about adrenaline and momentum though, Jagged Edge just beat one
man and he's on a roll. This is just going to be amazing, lets take it to Joe.
JH: Ladies and Gentlemen... it's time to crown the first ever Supreme Wrestling
Federation Champion!
[loud crowd pop]
JH: First of all, join me in welcoming the man who will join Robert and Tom at the
broadcasting table. The legend himself... Captain Canuck!
["The Hockey Song" by Stompin' Tom Conners plays as Captain Canuck makes his
way down the aisle to a very warm ovation. He slaps hands and says hi to some fans as
he makes his way to the broadcasting table.]
RJ: Welcome Captain.
CC: Glad to be here. This has been a blast so far, now I get to see it all up close!
JH: Now, introducing the second guest ring announcer of the night, he's here for the
main event. The voice of Darth Vader... James Earl Jones!!
["The Imperial March" plays as a smiling James Earl Jones walks down the aisle to a
very warm reception as well. He climbs into the ring, shakes hands with Joe, and gets
the microphone.]
JEJ: You don't know the power of the dark side!
[He smiles as the crowd gives a nice pop]
JEJ: All right, lets get down to business. In this match the B-Side finalist must pin his
opponent, the A-Side finalist, twice in order to win. While the A-Side finalist needs
only pin his opponent once. This match is scheduled for No Disqualifications, No Count
Outs and On the line... The SWF World Championship!
[another loud pop]
RJ: Can you feel the excitement? It's electric folks! Electric!
JEJ: Introducing first. Currently in his corner with his manager Kim Kelly since he
was just here for his last match...
[some whistles]
JEJ: Hailing from Denver, Colorado and weighing in at 289lbs. Here is the
B-Side finalist and the master of the Shattered Dreams... Jagged Edge!!
["Me Killa" by Bones Thugs-N-Harmony plays as Jagged Edge walks into the
middle of the ring and raises his arms. Kim Kelly points at him as he flexes
for the crowd. He is booed pretty heavily.]
RJ: There is Jagged Edge. Most men would have just given up after losing the first
match, but Jagged Edge kept fighting and made it all the way to the finals. He's not
my favourite person, but you have to admire what he's done already tonight.
TR: Certainly. Edge is a hell of a wrestler, I like the guy, he's tough as nails and he
knows how to bend the rules in his favour. Here's the problem, he's facing the
Underground and frankly.. no one in the SWF is going to beat the Underground.
Period.
CC: Well if Edge expects to beat Doug he's got to pull out all the stops and I mean the
stuff I hate. He's got to hit him with chairs and throw him into posts, stuff like that.
Doug is fresher than Edge and only has to pin him once, the Jagged one needs any
advantage he can get.
RJ: What about Doug?
CC: He has to make sure he doesn't take Jagged Edge lightly and just do what he's been
doing already tonight. Stick to the gameplan and he'll be fine. After all, Jagged Edge
has yet to beat a member of the Underground in the SWF, and that's what Doug is and
that's the style Doug wrestles.
RJ: Boy it's nice to have you back with us Captain.
TR: Speak for yourself.
RJ: That's what I'm doing motormouth.
JEJ: and his opponent.
[Doug Bacon's heavy metal version of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" starts playing]
JEJ: from Sudbury, Ontario. Weighing in at 340lbs. Being led to the ring by Paul
VonBraun, here is the A-Side finalist, a member of the Underground alliance and the
master of the Fried Bacon... Doug "Beer Drinking" Bacon!
[Paul VonBruan leads Doug Bacon through the Oriole's mouth and up the aisle. Beer
starts spraying out of the Oriole's eyes once Doug Bacon is halfway up the aisle and it
lands only in the aisle and not in the audience. Doug Bacon is met with loud boos as
well. The audience doesn't know who to cheer for. Paul VonBraun is carrying a six
pack of beer and he leaves it in Doug's corner. Doug still has some dry blood on his
face and wrestling gear]
TR: Look at that warrior Jones! Still covered in blood and he's out here fighting!
RJ: This match is set to... here comes Jagged Edge!
[Jagged Edge attacks Doug Bacon before the bell.
Jagged Edge executes a belly-to-back suplex.]
RJ: Right off the bat Jagged Edge goes after Doug Bacon and he nailed him with that
belly-to-back suplex! Now he's picking him up and here comes a DDT!
[Jagged Edge executes a DDT.
The Bell Rings]
RJ: Perfectly executed! He drove Bacon's head into the canvas as the bell rings and this
match is now official.
CC: Good strategy by Jagged Edge, he jumped on Bacon right away. That's what he has to
do, maybe get a quick pin and even up the odds a bit.
[Jagged Edge nails him with a tilt-a-whirl piledriver.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: Did you see that move!
CC: Tile-a-whirl piledriver, that's one thing Doug didn't want to run into in the first seconds
of the match up.
RJ: Now a cover... Bacon kicks out.
[Jagged Edge nails him with a punch.
Jagged Edge attemps to place Doug Bacon on the turnbuckle, but Doug Bacon
blocks it.]
RJ: Edge gives him a shot and he's trying to lift Bacon up to the top... he can't do it.
CC: Doug's girth becomes an advantage early on. Remember though, it doesn't seem to
have stopped Jagged Edge from performing high impact moves. Now Edge has got him
in the DDT position again!
[Jagged Edge takes him down with a DDT.]
RJ: He nailed it! Doug Bacon's skull hits the mat again and the man from Denver is
all over the Canadian!
TR: That damn early attack has hurt Doug big time! He wasn't ready for him and Edge
hasn't stopped taking it to him yet so he hasn't been able to turn things around. It'll
happen though. Just wait. Paul will come up with soemthing.
CC: Yes, I saw that match, very disappointing finish because of the despicable VonBraun.
RJ: Jagge Edge picks Doug Bacon up and he's setting him up for either a power bomb or a
pildriver. Either way Bacon's in trouble!
[Jagged Edge catches him in a power bomb.]
RJ: What impact! He drove Bacon's 340lbs down onto the mat at an amazing speed!
The whole stadium heard that one. Edge is looking for the first fall...
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: No! He can't hold Bacon down, but he's not going to give up. Edge pops right back up
and he's heading off the ropes!
[Jagged Edge runs into the ropes.
Jagged Edge misses with a shoulderblock.]
RJ: Bacon moves out of the way there!
TR: and look what he found, Edge has missed himself right into trouble!
[Doug Bacon nails him with a spinning power bomb.]
RJ: Wow! What a move. Doug Bacon crushes Jagged Edge and goes for the pin.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: Now it's Jagged Edge's turn to kickout and frustrate his opponent. Huge
power bombs aren't going to stop these inhuman monsters, so what is?
CC: That's what we're here to find out. I'd love to see how one of these men is
going to be able to hold the other down. I don't see either of them quitting, not
now, not after all this.
[Doug Bacon nails him with a backdrop driver.]
RJ: Another nice move by Bacon. Now where's he going? Doug Bacon is heading
up to the third turnbuckle! Doug Bacon is on the top rope.
TR: This is trouble for Jagged Edge!
[Flashes go off all over the building
Doug Bacon executes a flying bodypress.]
CC: No way!
RJ: He nailed it! Flying bodypress by the 340lbs Bacon!
TR: New champion!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.
Doug Bacon complains about a slow count.]
RJ: No! Jagged Edge dug deep down and kicked out! How did he kick out after
340lbs flying off the top rope and hitting him? I just don't know.
TR: Doug isn't happy with Joe Camel's crap, I'm sick of this guy and his slow
counts! We need a real referee damn it!
CC: Don't start blaming Joe, he has done a great job tonight and is still going
strong.
RJ: Bacon back to action, he runs the ropes.
[Doug Bacon runs into the ropes.
Doug Bacon gives him a short lariat, but Jagged Edge doesn't budge.]
RJ: Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Look at the look in the eyes of the monster Jagged Edge.
That didn't even budge him! Now he's going to try his luck off the ropes.
[Jagged Edge runs into the ropes.
Jagged Edge hits Doug Bacon with an elbow.]
RJ: Ouch!
TR: He had better pay Doug's dentist bill!
RJ: Now Bacon's set up again for the DDT...
CC: He's waiting too long Robert.
[Jagged Edge goes for a DDT, but Doug Bacon counters it with a backdrop.]
RJ: He did wait too long and he pays the price!
TR: but Doug's tired. They both stumble back to their feet.
[Jagged Edge whips Doug Bacon into the ropes, but Doug Bacon reverses it.
Doug Bacon goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but Jagged Edge counters it with
a duck-down move.]
RJ: Reversal and here comes Bacon!... Edge ducked out of the way and Oh no! Look
where Doug Bacon has found himself
TR: AH! He's set up!
[Jagged Edge takes him down with a spinning power bomb.]
RJ: Did you see that?! Jagged Edge just connected big time on Doug Bacon. Now
can he get the first fall.
CC: Bacon looks down and out!
TR: GET UP!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, Paul VonBraun distracts Joe Camel.
Loud boos]
CC: That low down dirty rat! Ban him from ringside Joe!
TR: Quit your crying Canuck, it's all legal!
RJ: Now Edge is trying to hoist Bacon up again!
[Jagged Edge attempts to place Doug Bacon on the turnbuckle, but Doug Bacon
blocks it.]
RJ: He can't do it!
[Jagged Edge goes for a belly-to-back suplex, but Doug Bacon counters it with
an elbowsmash.]
RJ: Right to the jaw!
TR: That hurts.
[Doug Bacon takes him down with a Russian legsweep.
Joe Camel is back on the job.]
RJ: Russian legsweep takes Jagged Edge down, now Doug Bacon is hoisting him up.
This can only mean one thing! They're both heading to the top rope!
[Doug Bacon places Jagged Edge on the turnbuckle.]
TR: You tried your best...
[Doug Bacon executes the Fried Bacon and goes for the pin.
The crowd gasps]
TR: and you failed!
RJ: FRIED BACON! Doug Bacon nailed the Fried Bacon!
CC: I can tell you from experience that move is hell! There's not way Jagged Edge is
getting up.
TR: The moral of the story is... never tr..
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, KICKOUT.]
RJ: NO!
TR: WHAT!?
RJ: Jagged Edge blasted out of that cover! The Fried Bacon didn't keep him down and
he bursts up. Doug Bacon is in a state of shock.
CC: That's amazing! How did he kick out of the Fried Bacon after all he's gone through?
It's hard enough normally.
[Jagged Edge executes a spinning power bomb.]
RJ: Out of no where!
TR: Oh gawd!
RJ: and the cover.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, three.]
RJ: He got him! He got him! Jagged Edge has pinned Bacon!
TR: What? No!! How did he? I mean... what the!
CC: That came from deep inside Jagged Edge, he mustered up everything he had to
kick out of the Fried Bacon and now that awesome move.. that's a 340lbs man he
picked up and slammed like it was nothing! This man is hungry for gold, there doesn't
seem to be anything that will stop him!
TR: Doug was caught off guard, no one ever kicks out of the Fried Bacon and he got hit
with that move right after. That was just a freak fluke. Look what Doug has done tonight,
he took every once of vicious punishment Phoenix and 2 other men had for him and he just
kept fighting and fighting, he's not about to let this ruin his shot at the gold! You just
watch!
RJ: I guarantee you this, as Bacon and Edge both take a bit of a breather in their corner and
talk things over with their managers, both these men are gonna go until they just can't go
any more. They are going to give it their all and this is going to be a hell of a match the
rest of the way.
JEJ: Jagged Edge has won the first fall, therefor, this match has now become... SUDDEN
DEATH!
[The Bell rings]
RJ: We're into sudden death now, all you'll need is the edge of your seat folks!
[They lock up.
Doug Bacon runs into the ropes.
Doug Bacon goes for a flying forearm, but Jagged Edge counters it with
a duck-down move.]
RJ: Jagged Edge gets himself out of the way and Doug Bacon flies over him and hits
the mat. Now Edge is walking over to Bacon, what's he going to try?
CC: It looks like a Gorilla press coming up Robert.
[Jagged Edge goes for a Gorilla Press, but Doug Bacon blocks it.]
RJ: Bacon blocks it, he's too fresh to let that happen... oh wait! Doug Bacon just
tossed Jagged Edge to the top rope like a rag doll!
TR: and he's following him up Jones, the "I don't get hurt by a kick in the nads" man
is about to go for a little ride!
[Doug Bacon nails him with a front-layout superplex.
The crowd gasps]
RJ: Whoa! Did you see that! They both flew off that top rope and Jagged Edge hit
the canvas hard!
TR: No getting up from tha..
[Jagged Edge sits up.]
TR: What?!
RJ: Jagged Edge just pops right back up. That's the adrenaline, it's flowing through
the veins of both these men and helping them accomplish amazing feats. What action
folks! Doug Bacon doesn't look happy.
[Doug Bacon whips Jagged Edge into the turnbuckle.
Doug Bacon charges into the corner.]
RJ: Oh!
CC: Did Doug Bacon ever slam into Jagged Edge! Wow!
TR: Did you see how fast that 340lbs was moving? This guy is championship materiel Canuck!
CC: Don't I know that, I've seen what Bacon can do, but never count Edge out either. They're now
on an even playing field.
RJ: Jagged Edge stumbles out of the corner... and he's not going far! Doug Bacon caught him...
TR: Now Edge is going for a ride again!
[Doug Bacon executes a jack-knife power bomb.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: Jack-knife!... only two! These men are running on instinct now Captain.
CC: They've already wrestled 3 matches each, plus the first fall of this match, and they've
taken vicious move after vicious move. There is no more thinking and plotting, just
action.
TR: Don't forget about the managers on the outside though, they can still think and plot.
[Doug Bacon goes over to his corner and chugs down a beer.]
CC: Warning: Beer can cause people to ruin their lives.
TR: Oh shut up you walking public service add. This damn thing is uncensored baby!
[Jagged Edge sits up]
TR: Ah!
RJ: Jagged Edge pops up again! Now he's stalking Doug Bacon, Bacon hasn't noticed him!
Now he does!
[Jagged Edge executes a choke slam.]
RJ: But it's too late!
[Jagged Edge takes him down with a belly-to-back suplex.
Jagged Edge flexes to the crowd.]
RJ: Now would you look at that, even in a championship match that means so much
Edge still takes time to show off! That's despicable! Hey! Bacon is up! Now it's
Edge who's being stalked!
[Doug Bacon places Jagged Edge on the turnbuckle.
Doug Bacon nails him with a belly-to-back superplex.]
TR: Oh yeah!
RJ: Jagged Edge got tossed off the top rope and than all of Bacon's weight followed
him and crushed him! Man! Now Bacon picks Jagged Edge up by the hair.
CC: Dirty tactics.
TR: You're damn right, when there are no disqualifications you take advantage!
[Doug Bacon whips Jagged Edge into the turnbuckle, but Jagged Edge reverses it.
Jagged Edge charges in with a jumping side kick.]
RJ: The whip is reversed and whoa! It looks like Doug Bacon's head snapped back!
CC: gorgeous jumping side kick by Jagged Edge!
[Jagged Edge takes him down with a series of punches.]
RJ: Now he's pounding away at Doug Bacon who slumps to the ground. Jagged
Edge is a mad man in there! He's lifting Bacon up over his head!
TR: No way! Not gonna happen!
[Jagged Edge nails him with a Gorilla Press.
Jagged Edge throws Doug Bacon out of the ring.
the crowd gasps]
RJ: He did it! Jagged Edge lifted Doug Bacon over his head and threw him over the
top rope! That was absolutely astounding!
CC: What power! He may have a 51 pound weight disadvantage, but Jagged Edge
looks like he can match power with Doug Bacon!
TR: I'm not worried, we're headed to the outside where Doug loves to play, just
ask Phoenix baby!
RJ: Jagged Edge follows him out and we're going to see this falls count anywhere
match start to live up to it's name!
[Jagged Edge goes through the ropes.
Kim Kelly hands Jagged Edge a chair.]
CC: Oh no, not this stuff again!
TR: Damn right!
[Jagged Edge hits him with the chair.
There is a loud thud as the crowd gasps
Doug Bacon is busted wide open.]
RJ: Did you hear that!? Did you see that?!
TR: violence personified! I love it, now kick out Doug or I won't be having as
much fun!
RJ: The cover as Joe Camel has hustled to the outside.
[Jagged Edge is going for the pin.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: Only two, and these two are duking it out on the outside! Remember the last
Falls Count Anywhere match we announced?
CC: Oh, don't remind me!
RJ: Jagged Edge is the master of this match!
[They're brawling inside the ring area.
Jagged Edge throws Doug Bacon over the guardrail.]
RJ: The match has spilled into the fans! This is going to get ugly!
TR: It's already gotten ugly Jones! This is great! The winner, Doug, will deserve it!
CC: I've got to do something so no one is hurt!
[Captain Canuck leaves his announcing position and runs into the crowd pushing
everyone back out of the way wherever the action goes.]
TR: That idiot! They were gonna get involved, that would have been more fun!
[Jagged Edge whips Doug Bacon into the guardrail.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.]
RJ: and into the guardrail from the other side goes Doug Bacon! He's in a world
of hurt motormouth!
TR: He sure is, but Phoenix did the same thing and who won that match?
RJ: Bacon is up and he continues to throw punches, these two are brawling like mad
men!
TR: With the gold on the line!
[Doug Bacon goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Jagged Edge blocks it.
Jagged Edge flings Doug Bacon over a row of chairs.]
RJ: Blocked and Doug Bacon goes flying! I can't believe what we're seeing, thank
goodness the Captain got those fans out of there, they could have been hurt. This is
crazy! This is crazy! Now VonBraun is going to get involved again!
[Paul VonBraun comes from behind, but Jagged Edge nails Paul VonBraun.
Loud pop]
RJ: Paul VonBraun gets a shot to the had and he flies back over the guardrail. Jagged
Edge tosses Doug Bacon with him and they're brawling in the aisle!
[They're brawling up the aisle.
Doug Bacon sets up a table.]
RJ: Bacon has a table set up! What's he going to do with that?!
[They're brawling inside the ring area.
Doug Bacon throws Jagged Edge over the guardrail.]
RJ: Oh no! Back over the guardrail again! No rest for the Captain, or these two warriors.
[Paul VonBraun hands Doug Bacon a fire extinguisher.]
RJ: What did VonBraun just hand to Bacon? That can't be...
TR: It is! A fire extinguisher Jones! Jagged Edge is about to be put out of commission!
[he laughs] This is great!
[Doug Bacon hits him with the fire extinguisher.]
RJ: Wow! The hit with the fire extinguisher knocks Jagged Edge back over the
guardrail again and now they're brawling up the aisle, I can't believe Jagged Edge
got back to his feet!
[They're brawling down the aisle.
Doug Bacon executes a Russian legsweep.]
RJ: Legsweep takes a tired Jagged Edge down and Doug Bacon is heading back to the
ring for something...
TR: A beer!
[Doug Bacon goes over to his corner and chugs down a beer
Paul VonBruan hands Doug Bacon an umbrella]
TR: Worth while trip, he gets a beer and an umbrella.
RJ: Doug Bacon heads back down the aisle again as Jagged Edge is just getting to his feet.
TR: Not for long!
[Doug Bacon hits him with the umbrella.
The crowd gaps, and the hardcore marks continue to go nuts as they have all match]
RJ: Jagged Edge drops to the floor and Doug Bacon jumps on top of him.. hey.. where are
they headed!?
TR: It looks like.. no way!
RJ: Jagged Edge and Doug Bacon have just brawled their way back through the Oriole's mouth, or
beak if you will, and are inside the Bullpen! We can't see a thing! Get a camera in there! Captain...
Captain can you hear me.
CC: Yes I can Robert.
RJ: Can you follow the action out there for us while we get a camera.
CC: Sure thing. Ok, I'm just making my way to the bullpen now... Whoa! I didn't
want to see this, they're just tearing each other apart! Now one of them just got
slammed into the benches, they just keep brawling! OK, Doug's in control.. he's trying
for a Norther Lights Suplex it looks like.. but he can't do it. Jagged Edge blocked it and
they've started throwing punches again! Now they're coming your way again guys! This is
sick!
[They're brawling up the aisle.]
RJ: Back in the aisle come these two men who are killing each other for the gold! Now
Kim Kelly is making her way down the aisle!
TR: Get her out of there, she'll distract Doug Bacon with her.. um.. assets!
RJ: Damn it motormouth, quit being so superficial!
TR: But I'm a man, I have to be.
RJ: #1, that's debatable, #2, that's despicable!
[Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts Doug Bacon.]
RJ: Kelly has Bacon's attention.
TR: and mine.
RJ: Jagged Edge is pulling something out of his tights!
[Jagged Edge pulls brass knuckles out of his tights.]
RJ: He's got brass knuckles!
TR: Oh crap! I know what Jagged Edge can do with his damn brass knuckles!
[Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.]
RJ: Bacon flies over the guardrail and it's taken into the fans again! Here comes
Captain Canuck again!
CC: This is hard work guys!
TR: Sissy!
[They're brawling behind the guardrail.
Jagged Edge catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.]
RJ: Belly-to-Belly into the seats! I don't believe what I'm seeing!
TR: This rules! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Oh crap, he's gonna try to pin Bacon!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
TR: Yes!
RJ: Bacon kicks out! This is unbelievable! How are these men kicking out after
being brutalised like this! Is there anything that will hold them down in this sudden
death battle?!
TR: I don't know Jones, I don't know what they can do to win. Here come Paul!
[Paul VonBraun comes from behind and distracts Jagged Edge.]
TR: Great job by Paul to take the momentum away from Jagged Edge by distracting him.
RJ: Now Bacon lunges at Jagged Egde and they both fall over the guardrail and back in
the aisle we go!
[They're brawling up the aisle.
Jagged Edge is busted wide open.]
RJ: A shot to the head got Jagged Edge.. and now he's bleeding too! Both men have open cuts
on their faces, both men are ignoring the pain, both men are battling until the death for
the Supreme Wrestling Federation Championship!
[They're brawling inside the ring area.
Doug Bacon throws Jagged Edge over the guardrail.]
RJ: Back into the fans we go, and Joe Camel is having a difficult time keeping up, but he's doing his best.
[Doug Bacon takes him down with a Russian legsweep.
Doug Bacon takes him down with a short lariat.]
RJ: Doug Bacon really connected with that lariat, now the cover!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
RJ: He can't keep Edge down.
[Doug Bacon takes him down with a Russian legsweep.
Doug Bacon whips Jagged Edge into the guardrail.]
RJ: Another legsweep and Edge tastes steel again! They both go over the guardrail
and the action has spilled to the aisle. It's been forever since these men were
actually in the ring! How can they stand this?
TR: I don't know.
[They're brawling down the aisle.
They're brawling up the aisle.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.]
RJ: Look at this, they just keep pounding on each other and pounding on each other!
Brutality, pure brutality!
TR: That's what the hunger for gold does to people Jones. Oh no!
RJ: Jagged Edge is sneaking up behind Bacon, could Bacon's title dreams be
shattered?
TR: Nice pun.
RJ: Thanks, I kinda liked it myself.
[Jagged Edge goes for the Shattered Dreams, but Doug Bacon blocks it.
Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.
Jagged Edge hits him with the brass knuckles.]
RJ: It's blocked, but the brass knuckles aren't! Doug Bacon drops to the cement floor.
TR: Damn those infernal knuckles! Take them away you stupid camel!
[They're brawling behind the guardrail.
Jagged Edge throws Doug Bacon over the guardrail.]
RJ: Back over the guardrail goes Doug Bacon, and with authority!
TR: Edge is following quickly, and he's picking up Douggie.
[Jagged Edge whips Doug Bacon into the guardrail.]
TR: Who tastes steel again! Damn it! This just isn't right!
RJ: Now Bacon is picked up again and...
[Jagged Edge takes him down with a spinning power bomb.]
RJ: he's dropped down viciously by that power bomb! This could do it!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, thr...]
RJ: New champio..
[kickout.]
TR: No, no, no! Not so fast Jones! Bacon is still alive and back on his feet!
RJ: How are they doing this?
[They're brawling inside the ring area.
Paul VonBraun hands Doug Bacon a road sign.]
RJ: A road sign! Where is VonBraun finding this stuff!
TR: Batter up!
[Doug Bacon takes a swing at Jagged Edge with the road sign, but
he gets out of the way.
Jagged Edge snatches the road sign from him.]
RJ: He missed! Now Jagged Edge grabs the roadsign!
TR: Uh Oh!
[Jagged Edge hits him with the road sign.]
RJ: Home run! Doug Bacon drops to the floor after being clobbered with that road
sign! VonBraun's plan backfired!
TR: That's a first!
[Jagged Edge goes for a punch, but Doug Bacon reverses it.]
RJ: Edge's punch blocked and Doug Bacon comes back with one of his own. Now he's
back to his feet again! Bacon can take more punishment than a sony sportsman!
[Doug Bacon goes for a short lariat, but Jagged Edge counters it with
a duck-down move.]
RJ: Edge ducks and Doug Bacon goes flying. Now the Jagged one is moving over
to the tables. I guess we can all see what's coming up.
TR: Table action!
[Jagged Edge sets up a table.
They're brawling inside the ring area.]
RJ: Doug Bacon lunged at Jagged Edge and they both fly away from the table.
TR: Edge doesn't look pleased.
[Jagged Edge throws Doug Bacon over the guardrail.]
RJ: and back into the fans!
[Jagged Edge executes a spinning power bomb.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, thr... kickout.]
RJ: He hit that power bomb again! What a move... but he can't keep Doug Bacon down!
TR: I don't think it's possible to pin Doug Bacon Jones, he got lucky once and Doug will]
not let it happen again! It's that Sudbury blood!
[Jagged Edge goes for a piledriver, but Doug Bacon counters it with a backdrop.
In turn, Jagged Edge counters it with a sunset flip.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: Backdrop, but no, now a sunset flip, and Bacon kicks out! All this is going on
in the fans folks! In the fans! The Captain continues to clear the fans out of harms way.
[Kim Kelly tosses Jagged Edge a fire extinguisher.]
TR: She's got brains too! This is trouble for Doug!
RJ: Not the fire extinguisher again!
[Jagged Edge takes a swing at Doug Bacon with the fire extinguisher, but
he gets out of the way.
Doug Bacon snatches the fire extinguisher from him.]
TR: Strike!
RJ: Edge missed! Now Bacon grabs the extinguisher!
TR: Put him out for good Bacon!
[Doug Bacon hits him with the fire extinguisher.
Doug Bacon is going for the pin.]
RJ: Oh no! Jagged Edge falls and rams his back into the seats. Now Bacon is looking
for the cover.. Joe Camel runs over.
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, kickout.]
RJ: Jagged Edge kicked out! Neither of these men will die, neither of these men will let
themselves be put away!
TR: What have we seen already in this match Jones? Fire extinguisher, Chair, Road Sign,
Brass Knuckles, Fighting in the Bullpen, Powerbombs onto chairs! As a famous
man would say.. "Good Gawd!"
RJ: Now Bacon brings Jagged Edge back up, and he's got him in position!
[Doug Bacon catches him in a power bomb.]
RJ: Power bomb onto the concrete floor! This is too much!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
RJ: Jagged Edge gets his shoudler up just in time! So close!
TR: Not close enough!
[Doug Bacon flings Jagged Edge over a row of chairs.]
RJ: Over the chairs and they are once again heading back over the guardrail.
It's gotten to the point where getting flung over a row of chairs means nothing!
These athletes are superhuman, I just can't say that enough!
[They're brawling up the aisle.
Doug Bacon knocks Jagged Edge into the ringsteps.]
TR: Step all over him Bacon!
RJ: Right into the steps! That made some sound!
[They're brawling inside the ring area.
Jagged Edge knocks Doug Bacon into the ringsteps.]
RJ: Now Bacon hits the steps!
TR: Hey, what's this!
[Kim Kelly hands Jagged Edge a road sign.]
TR: That bitch!
RJ: Tom! Control yourself!
TR: Bite me!
RJ: Bite me.. how lame. Jagged Edge has a road sign folks!
[Jagged Edge hits him with the road sign.]
RJ: Oh no! But Doug Bacon is still stumbling around....
[Jagged Edge catches him in a reverse DDT.]
RJ: Not for long! What a move! Can he hold Bacon down now!?
[Joe Camel counts: One, two]
TR: KICKOUT!
[thr... kickout.]
RJ: He did! Oh was that close! Bacon did kickout at the last second!
TR: Man o Man! I'm gonna have a heart attack out here!
RJ: Edge is still coming at him!
[Jagged Edge catches him in a Northern Lights suplex.
Joe Camel counts: One, two, thr... kickout.]
RJ: So close! So close!
[Jagged Edge reenters the ring.]
TR: WHAT!?
RJ: Jagged Edge has walked back up the steps into the ring! After ages on the outside
these two want to end in right in the middle of this ring, if this match will ever end!
TR: Doug is on his way back too!
[Doug Bacon follows him back in.
Jagged Edge is bleeding profusely.]
RJ: Look at the blood pouring down the face of Jagged Edge! Now they're staring
each other down.
TR: Does it get any better than this Jones?
RJ: No, plain and slimple, no!
[Jagged Edge gives the sign for the Shattered Dreams.]
TR: That cocky bastard!
RJ: Jagged Edge has just told the world he intends on putting Doug Bacon to sleep!
TR: Doug Bacon is going to fry this pukes brains!
RJ: We're long into this marathon match of brutal violence and still no one has an
edge! No pun intended. Here comes the Jagged one!
[Jagged Edge goes for a tilt-a-whirl piledriver, but Doug Bacon blocks it.
Doug Bacon catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.]
RJ: Blocked and he caught him! Big time belly-to-belly!
TR: Pin him! Pin him!
[Joe Camel counts: One, two]
RJ: Doug Bacon has wo...
[KICKOUT.]
RJ: No! I don't belive it! and Neither does Bacon!
TR: What?
RJ: Jagged Edge powered out of that pin and he's going right after Bacon....
[Jagged Edge executes the Shattered Dreams.]
TR: NO!!! NO!!!
RJ: SHATTERED DREAMS! He locked it on!!
TR: OK Doug, fight it, fight like you've never fought before!
RJ: So much has been taken out of these men in this match and they are both slumping
down to the ground. The Shattered Dreams is locked on right in the middle of the ring!
TR: Paul... do something!
RJ: Now Joe Camel is going to test the arm!
TR: Come on Doug! Come on!
RJ: He lifts it up once... it dropped!
TR: Doug, you're the only hope, do it yourself man! Come on!
RJ: He lifts it up a second time.. it dropped! Doug Bacon looks like he's out!
TR: Come on Doug!!! Please!!
RJ: Look at the blood and sweat all over both men! These men are warriors! Now
Joe Camle goes to check for the third time...
TR: Do it for the Baconheads!
RJ: IT DROPPED! IT DROPPED!
TR: Nooooo!!!!
RJ: Jagged Edge has overcome the odds! He is the first SWF WORLD CHAMPION!!!
TR: Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! There shouldn't have even been this match! Damn
that Yvette and his stupid ideas!
RJ: All night the Underground and been a thorn in Jagged Edge's side, the attack by
Mr. America to start the night off, than Dr. Hate using that to his advantage to get the win,
now Doug Bacon. These two warriors wrestled the greatest match I have ever seen in
my wrestling career. They put absolutely everything on the line for the gold and they
are both champions in my book. I may not like either of them, but you have to respect them.
JEJ: The winner of the match... AND NEW SWF WORLD CHAMPION! Jagged Edge!!
["Me Killa" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony resumes playing. The crowd stays silent for a
period... than they all stand and start to clap and cheer]
RJ: The crowd doesn't like them either, but they put on one hell of a show and this
fantastic crowd appreciates it. Jagged Edge looks like the happiest man alive!
[Doug Bacon rolls out of the ring and smashes a table. He grabs his beer and chugs one
down. He and Paul return to the dressing room.]
RJ: A valient effort by Doug Bacon, but fate seemed to be on Jagged Edge's side tonight
after all he went through. Here comes Commissioner Yvette!
[Ron Yvette walks down the aisle holding the beautiful SWF World Title. He grabs
a house mic and walks into the ring where Jagge Edge is standing with a large
smile on his face and Kim Kelly is on his arm.]
RY: Jagged Edge, you may not always be the best role model but tonight you
proved you deserve this belt and I'm proud to declare you the first ever
SWF World Champion.
[Ron Yvette hands the belt to Jagged Edge. The crowd claps politely.
Jagged Edge goes over to his corner and climbs up the turnbuckle and holds
up his belt. He motions for a microphone and the crowd becomes silent.]
TR: Well, he tried and I like the guy. Better than having the Vigilante or
Moon Dog as champ I guess. The UA will own that belt though!
RJ: Shut up! He has something to say.
TR: You can't tell me to shut up!
CC: I can. So shut up.
[Captain Canuck covers Tom Rogers' mouth]
TR: DMFDSMDFHDF:jjdpfhaof
[Jagged Edge turns to Kim Kelly]
JE:You now manage and date the SWF World Champion. Now that I have reached the
pinnacle of my professional life I wish to make my personal life complete...
Will you marry me?
RJ: Oh my! He just asked the million dollar question!
TR: Please say n.. [mouth covered] MDDSGphhh.
KK: YES!!!
[The crowd claps politely as they Kiss. Jagged Edge puts the belt around his waste and
the camera switches to a shot of the night sky where a spectacular show of fireworks goes
of and the crowd cheers loudly]
RJ: What a night folks! For Tom Rogers and all my other colleagues, thank you and
goodnight from Baltimore!
[fade out]
(
geocities.com/timessquare/alley) (
geocities.com/timessquare)