-------------------------------------------
(The SWF logo appears on the screen)
Announcer: The Supreme Wrestling Federation.
The S-W-F.
--------------------------------------------
("The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson under a series of black-and-white
clips from Birthday Blast. Voiceovers are used out of sequence.)
[Hell Hound runs into the ring and nails Equalizer with a quick clothesline,
then starts kicking him in the stomach multiple times. Brian Frenck just
looks on, with a smile on his face.]
Bacon: I'm not your ordinary Harley rider, Equalizer...I'm your worst
nightmare!
(Hell Hound power bombs Equalizer.)
Bacon: And the nightmare is only beginning.
(He picks him up, puts him on the top rope, and executes the Fried Bacon.)
VM: What?!! Hell Hound is Doug Bacon?!
[After staring and the almost unconscious Equalizer for a moment, he
executes the Fried Bacon again.]
Bacon: Now I'm a happy camper. And that's right, I do have a contract.
(Hell Hound peels off the mask to reveal Doug Bacon.)
Bacon: This league isn't going to be the same.
(Mr. Shhh hands Bacon the blacksmith's hammer.)
JV: Looks like he's going to finish the job this time.
[Bacon swings the large hammer over his head, and down connecting right on
Equalizers legs! He does it again, and again.)
Bacon: I hope you enjoyed your trip to hell!
Chip: Doug Bacon has returned to the SWF! And you'll see him next on Triumphant Tuesday!
---------------------------------------------
(An overhead shot of a wrestling ring in the middle of a vacant parking lot in a big city.
Night time. The opening bars of "The Extremist" by Joe Satriani play as we see shadowy figures
approach the ring from all sides. There is an explosion, near the ring, increasing the amount
of available light...
And we see the faces of the wrestlers. Jagged Edge and Shae Smith approach the ring as we
see an image of Edge executing the Shattered Dreams on Carey Stone projected on the building
behind him. Doug Bacon wanders in through the parked cars, as Paul von Braun runs alongside him,
holding a case of beer. We see an image of Bacon executing the Fried Bacon on Eric Wright
projected on the building behind him.
Sandman walks in, waving his pitchfork and accompanied by Michelle. We see a shot of Sandman
knocking Lethal off the ladder projected on the building next to him. Mr. Meteorite #69
walks in from a nearby alley. We see an image of Moon Dog hitting the D-Dog-T on Billy Talent
projected on the wall above him.
A shot of the ground near the ring. The Living Dead emerge through the soil, as a shot of them
hitting the Autopsy on the Westside Ridas is projected on the ground next to them. We see Rock
'n Roll Animal standing atop a building, as an image of the Animal hitting a frog splash on Sean
Slade plays beneath him.
An ice cream truck pulls up and God's Tears emerges from the back, as a shot of GT applying
the Hurt on Death Angel is projected on the side of the truck. A stretch limo pulls right up
to ringside. We look in the back and see Mr. Shhh and the Men in Black watching a videotape of
Shhh hitting the Peacemaker on Akira the Samurai.
Cut to an overhead shot of the ring, with the SWF wrestlers approaching from all sides. As
they are all about to enter, we see a burst of fireworks, then the Triumphant Tuesday logo,
followed by another burst of fireworks, which dissolves to...)
------------------------------------------------
(The inside of a packed arena. There are screaming fans and fireworks going off around the ring
and along the rampway. The graphic reads:
"LIVE! Madison Square Garden
New York, New York"
For the first time in nearly a year, we see the fifteen foot high red "TT" letters, one on either
side of the entrance, bracketing the SWF video wall. The camera pans the crowd, lingering on some
of the unique signs there: "wrestlingheadlines.com", "Viva Gorditas!", "Talkin' about a Revolution",
"I believe in the Birds", "Dodger gonna rob you blind", "Bring back The Extremist!", and a young
woman dressed in a God's Tears T-shirt holding up a sign that reads "Venis has GT envy!")
Chip: Welcome, everyone, to New York City!
(Shots of three guys in Doug Bacon T-shirts, unrolling a banner that says "Fry Dodger".)
Chip: Welcome to Madison Square Garden!
(Shot of SWF suits Brian Frenck and Pat McNeill, who are sitting in the front row
in jeans and wearing matching tie-dyed SWF Beach Brawl T-shirts. Three SWF security guards are
seated next to Frenck.)
Chip: Welcome to Triumphant Tuesday!
(The angle pans down to the announce desk, where we see Chip Collins, wearing an SWF blazer and
a red power tie, next to "The Sportin' Fool" Tim Thorsen, wearing an Arsenal baseball cap, and a
T-shirt that says "Fool kicks @$$".)
Chip: I'm Chip Collins, along with the man wrestling fans love to love...
Fool: ..."The Sportin' Fool" Tim Thorsen!
(Chip looks over The Fool's outfit.)
Chip (reading the shirt): "Fool kicks at, dollar sign, dollar sign"?
Fool: My boy Dodger endorsed me. Got a problem with that?
Chip: Of course not. Fans, what a program we have for you tonight. Doug Bacon is back in the
SWF. Doug Bacon is wrestling tonight against Artful Dodger in what I guess you'd have to call a
rematch.
Fool: God, this is tough. My boy Dodger don't back down from no one. But this is Doug Bacon!
340 pound of bad-ass SWF legend. I don't know how A.D. can pull this one off.
Chip: And if you thought Bacon had a problem with Dodger before, Dodger actually eliminated Doug
Bacon from the Bunkhouse Brawl Battle Royal on Sunday Night. We'll also see Headhunter defend
his TV Title for the first time against Panzer Sturm.
Fool: Hey, McNeill! Kirsten vs. Domina. Whipped cream. Think about it.
Chip: Unfortunately, I'll be picturing that all night. Texas Pete welcomes Mr. Meteorite #69.
Fool: There's a good idea. Hopefully, he left the cast of "Dumb and Dumber" at home.
Chip: We'll also see a great tag team battle as The Birds of Prey against the Kold Blooded
Killaz.
Fool: Go, go, gorditas!
("Revolution #9" by the Beatles kicks in, cutting off the usual witty banter.)
Chip: We're supposed to have a match now, but...
(A lone spotlight shines on Jukebox Hero, standing in the rampway with a microphone.)
Jukebox: Ladies and gentlemen...Children of all ages...The Revolution presents for your viewing
pleasure...
(Jukebox looks around, then looks down at the index cards in his hand.)
Jukebox: Aw, screw it. Just bring him out.
(Jukebox motions to the back. There is a loud explosion as red and silver fireworks go off
along the rampway and in the ring. The Revolution logo appears on the video wall, followed by
an extended montage of the Revolution members, in some of their greatest SWF moments.)
Chip: It looks like the Revolution is going to kick things off tonight, in the form of the
former World Champ, the Rock 'N Roll Animal.
Fool: Say that again. "Former". I like the sound of that.
(Rock 'n Roll Animal enters and grabs the microphone from Jukebox Hero.)
Animal: I'll make this quick. I have a message for Doug Bacon...
(There is a roar from the crowd.)
Fool: Some people just don't know when to shut the hell up.
(The Animal unfolds a piece of paper.)
Animal: It's from "Captain Canuck" Mark Thomas! He can't be here tonight, because he's taking
care of Revolution business...
Chip: Captain Canuck has recently come out of retirement in another federation...
Fool: Who cares?
Animal: ...but he told me he'll be at Frenck Tower tomorrow to sign a new wrestling contract
with the SWF!
(The crowd buzzes. Many of them cheer.)
Chip: Did you know about this?
Fool: No!
Animal: The Animal and the Canuck will be at Slaughterhouse on Sunday. So, Bacon, bring a
friend, if you have one, and all three of us "washed up has-beens" can be in a tag match this
Sunday! Because the boys are back in town!
("Rock and Roll all night" by Kiss plays as Animal and Jukebox Hero go back through the
curtains.)
Chip: How about that? Now let's go up to the ring and join Jeff Ayres!
(Jeff Ayres, in his rented tux, takes the mic.)
Jeff: The following contest is set for one fall. Coming down the aisle,
accompanied by Sapphire and weighing in at 265 pounds, here is Duke "The Dream"
Diamond!
["Sirius" by Alan Parsons Project plays. The lights dim and a slow spinning
glass lighted ball is lowered from the ceiling. Prisms of light illuminate
the arena. The curtains in the back of the arena part and a dazzling Duke
Diamond appears with his manager, Sapphire. Fireworks are launched as the two
walk down the ramp to the aisle. The crowd is giving him a mixed reaction.
Duke enters the ring as his music dies down.)
Fool: So, who exactly gets to beat Duke "the Disco Dumpster" Dumbass?
[Black and gold fireworks go off and "If You Think I'm A Jiggy" by LOX begins to
play.]
Jeff: And his opponent, from Bronx, New York, weighing in at 231 pounds,
here is "Sexy" Tony Smooth!!
[Tony Smooth makes his way down to the ring. He slaps hands with the fans as
they cheer him on.]
Chip: Tremendous ovation for Tony Smooth from his hometown fans.
Fool: So, I have to watch this or something?
Chip: Jeff Hart is your referee.
Fool: No relation.
Chip: And we're ready with our first match on Triumphant Tuesday.
(The bell rings. They lock up.
Tony Smooth hits a clothesline on Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth is going for the pin.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Chip: Clothesline and a near fall by Smooth.
(Tony Smooth break dances in the middle of the ring.
The crowd is responding to Tony Smooth.)
Fool: I used to think break dancing was cool. Then I turned twelve.
(Tony Smooth nails Duke Diamond with an elbowdrop.
Tony Smooth runs into the ropes.
Duke Diamond hits Tony Smooth with a backdrop.
Tony Smooth falls out of the ring.
Duke Diamond goes through the ropes.
Duke Diamond knocks Tony Smooth into the ringpost.
Duke Diamond locks Tony Smooth in an octopus hold.
Duke Diamond whips Tony Smooth into the guardrail.
Duke Diamond throws Tony Smooth back into the ring.
Duke Diamond nails Tony Smooth with a chop.)
Chip: Duke the Dream, in his Triumphant Tuesday debut, looks sharp so far.
Fool: Come on, Chip. This is Madison Square Garden, the world's most famous arena, and we're
giving these poor people Duke Diamond. What did they ever do to us?
(Duke Diamond goes for a short clothesline, but Tony Smooth counters it with
a duck-down move.
Tony Smooth catches Duke Diamond in a sleeperhold.
Duke Diamond is valiantly trying to break the hold.
Duke Diamond is struggling to reach the ropes.
Duke Diamond is valiantly trying to break the hold.
Duke Diamond reaches the ropes after being trapped for 25 seconds.
Tony Smooth nails Duke Diamond with a bulldog headlock.
The crowd is behind Tony Smooth all the way.)
Chip: Smooth had the sleeper locked in, and follows it up with a bulldog...
Fool: ...but I know what you're thinking, Collins. You're thinking: "What does the Fool have
on the SWF Hotline until midnight tonight?"
(Tony Smooth puts Duke Diamond in a figure-four leglock.
Duke Diamond's shoulders are on the mat.
Jeff Hart counts: One, shoulder up.
Duke Diamond's shoulders are on the mat.)
Chip: Figure four by Smooth!
Fool: Too late. I'm on a roll. 1-900-SWF-NEWS. $1.49 a minute, kids, so break open them
there piggy banks.
(Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Duke Diamond's shoulders are on the mat.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Duke Diamond's shoulders are on the mat.)
Chip: A series of near falls as Diamond tries to break the hold.
Fool: Yeah, yeah. Tonight, I have the latest on these "MIA's", plus we'll talk about all the
wrestlers from those feds who went under trying to break into the SWF. You'll love it.
(Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Duke Diamond's shoulders are on the mat.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Fool: No, sir!
Chip: The Dream reverses the hold!
(Duke Diamond breaks the hold after 28 seconds.
Duke Diamond places Tony Smooth on the turnbuckle.
Duke Diamond takes Tony Smooth down with a superplex.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.
The crowd is really behind Duke Diamond.)
Chip: A huge blunder by Smooth that time. I think this Diamond was playing possum.
Fool: Don't try to make me care about this match.
(Duke Diamond whips Tony Smooth into the ropes.
Tony Smooth hits Duke Diamond with a clothesline.
Tony Smooth goes for a scorpion deathlock, but Duke Diamond blocks it.
Duke Diamond takes Tony Smooth down with a knee to the back.
Duke Diamond kicks Tony Smooth.
The crowd is really behind Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth punches Duke Diamond.
The crowd is giving Tony Smooth a standing ovation.)
Chip: A series of rights and lefts from Tony Smooth.
Fool: We should come here more often. These fans cheer for everything.
(Tony Smooth punches Duke Diamond.
Duke Diamond chops Tony Smooth.
There are lots of chants for Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth punches Duke Diamond.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.
Duke Diamond punches Tony Smooth.
There are lots of chants for Duke Diamond.
Duke Diamond hits Tony Smooth with a snap suplex.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, kickout.)
Chip: Big snap suplex and another two count.
Fool: Look, I don't like Smooth, but he's going to win. So win already.
(Duke Diamond hits Tony Smooth with a fistdrop.
Duke Diamond goes for a snap suplex, but Tony Smooth blocks it.
Tony Smooth uses an elbowsmash on Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth chops Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth hits Duke Diamond.
Duke Diamond chops Tony Smooth.
There are lots of chants for Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth hits Duke Diamond.)
Chip: These two are trading shots right here. Tremendous action. Just like the action we'll
see next month at Beach Brawl.
Fool: It's never too early to plug the hell out of our next pay-per-view.
(The crowd is giving Tony Smooth a standing ovation.
Tony Smooth kicks Duke Diamond.
The crowd is on its feet cheering for Tony Smooth.
Tony Smooth executes a piledriver on Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth runs into the ropes.
Duke Diamond nails Tony Smooth with a spinning leg lariat.
Duke Diamond executes a knee to the back on Tony Smooth.
Tony Smooth begs off.
Duke Diamond whips Tony Smooth into the ropes.
Tony Smooth hits Duke Diamond with an elbow.)
Chip: Big elbow catches Diamond off guard, and now he's going up top.
Fool: Let's get jiggy with it.
(Tony Smooth nails Duke Diamond with a flying elbowdrop.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Tony Smooth uses a gutwrench suplex on Duke Diamond.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Fool: No soup for you!
Chip: Two great near falls. More trouble for Duke Diamond.
(Tony Smooth break dances in the middle of the ring.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.)
Fool: Dumbass.
(Tony Smooth nails Duke Diamond with a jumping DDT.
The crowd is on its feet cheering for Tony Smooth.
Tony Smooth takes Duke Diamond down with a kick to the midsection.
Tony Smooth hits a DDT on Duke Diamond.)
Chip: Front DDT by Smooth! And Diamond is in some trouble.
Jeff: 5 minutes gone by. There are 25 minutes remaining.
(The crowd is going into a frenzy.
Tony Smooth is going for the pin.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Chip: Diamond will not stay down. Sapphire looks worried.
Fool: You realize we have a guy who calls himself "The Dream" managed by a woman named
"Sapphire"?
(Tony Smooth whips Duke Diamond into the ropes.
Tony Smooth hits Duke Diamond with a flying lariat.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.
Tony Smooth hits a bulldog headlock on Duke Diamond.
The crowd is giving Tony Smooth a standing ovation.
Tony Smooth hits Duke Diamond with a side suplex.
The crowd is giving Tony Smooth a standing ovation.
Tony Smooth goes for a side suplex, but Duke Diamond blocks it.)
Chip: What's your point?
Fool: Nothing. I wonder how Sapphire would look in polka dots.
(Duke Diamond kicks Tony Smooth.
Duke Diamond punches Tony Smooth.
There are lots of chants for Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth hits Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth has the crowd going wild.
Tony Smooth hits Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth punches Duke Diamond.
The crowd is going crazy.)
Chip: The crowd is responding to their hometown favorite.
Fool: Howard Stern's here?
Chip: Where?
(Tony Smooth hits a snap mare on Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth executes a bulldog headlock on Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth has the crowd going wild.
Tony Smooth whips Duke Diamond into the turnbuckle, but Duke Diamond reverses it.
Duke Diamond runs shoulder-first into the corner.
Tony Smooth begs off.)
Chip: It's Duke in the corner, laying in the chops.
Fool: This is really annoying.
(Duke Diamond hits Tony Smooth with a chop.
Tony Smooth begs off.
Duke Diamond attemps to place Tony Smooth on the turnbuckle, but Tony Smooth
blocks it.
Duke Diamond nails Tony Smooth with a diving shoulderblock.
Duke Diamond makes the throat-cutting sign.
The crowd is really behind Duke Diamond.)
Chip: Big diving shoulderblock and Diamond is showboating.
Fool: Smooth was playing dead. He's back to his feet. And Diamond doesn't see him.
(Tony Smooth executes a DDT on Duke Diamond.
Tony Smooth has the crowd going wild.
Tony Smooth is going for the pin.)
Chip: DDT by Smooth! The cover!
(Jeff Hart counts: One, two, three.
The crowd is on its feet cheering for Tony Smooth.)
Fool: He got him! Smooth wins! Why do I care about that again?
Jeff: Here is your winner, in 6:50, "Sexy" Tony Smooth!
("If you think I'm a Jiggy" plays as Tony Smooth dances. The crowd cheers Smooth on.)
Chip: Let's go to the Mountain Dew replay.
(The highlights of the match flash on the screen.)
Fool: Big side suplex there by Too Cold Smooth. Then a well executed bulldog. Then he hits
him with that front DDT. Turn around, Dumpster! Anyway, "Sexy" Tony Smooth is your winner.
Chip: When we return on Triumphant Tuesday, we'll see a Cinco de Mayo classic as The Birds of
Prey meet the Kold Blooded Killaz. Back after this.
------------------
(commercial)
------------------
Chip: Triumphant Tuesday returns live from Madison Square Garden.
Fool: Pro wrestling's highest rated show, each and every Tuesday night!
Chip: Fans, we've already seen a challenge made by Rock 'n Roll Animal on behalf of himself and
Captain Canuck. They want a tag team match this Sunday on Slaughterhouse against Doug Bacon and
a partner of his choice.
Fool: So, this Canuck guy comes out of retirement, signs with the SWF and gets his ass shipped
to the hospital all in the same week. I like it.
Chip: Let's go up to the ring.
Jeff: The followiing tag team match is set for one fall.
("California Love" by 2pac Shakur begins to play.)
Chip: We're about to see a battle between two red hot young teams.
Fool: That's funny. I heard the Birds of Prey were wrestling.
Jeff: Being led to the ring by their manager, Baby Girl, from the Westside, at a total combined
weight of 496 pounds, Chico and El Cholo, the Kold Blooded Killaz!
(Red and blue police lights flash as Babygirl leads the KBK down the aisle. The KBK are each
wearing giant sombreros and panchos over their normal wrestling gear. Cholo is holding a bag of
tacos, while Chico is holding up a hand-lettered sign that reads "Happy Cinco de Mayo! Pete
Wilson sucks!" They make their way to the ring. Most of the fans boo.)
Chip: The Kold Blooded Killaz brought their own food this week.
Fool: Good way to avoid distractions.
Jeff: And their opponents... ["I Believe I Can Fly" by R. Kelly starts to play.]
Fool: This music still sucks.
Chip: Listen to the ovation at the Garden for the Birds of Prey!
Jeff: At a combined weight of 452 pounds, here are Ian Eagle and Jay Hawke, The Birds Of Prey!
(Ian Eagle and Jay Hawke emerge from the entrance and make their way
down to the ring. They slap hands with many of the fans along the way.
The crowd is cheering them on.)
Chip: We should see a great technical matchup here. Andrew Borgert is your referee, and it
looks like Jay Hawke starting off against El Cholo.
Fool: Look at this, Chip!
(The Killaz have removed their panchos. Cholo is in the ring with Jay Hawke. He is holding out
a taco from his bag to Jay Hawke.)
Fool: He's offering Bird Boy a taco! What a guy!
Chip: I don't know if I'd trust the Killaz.
(The crowd is yelling for Hawke not to accept the taco. Hawke turns to ask Eagle whether he
should accept the taco. While Hawke has his back turned, Cholo bashes him over the head with
the bag of tacos.)
Fool: That's the great thing about the Bell. A big bag of tacos doesn't cost a lot.
Chip: Cholo attacked Hawke before the bell!
(The bell rings.
Jay Hawke hits El Cholo with a diving elbow smash.
El Cholo begs off.
Jay Hawke is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Jay Hawke uses a European uppercut on El Cholo.
Jay Hawke hits El Cholo with an Asai moonsault.
Andrew Borgert counts: One, kickout.)
Chip: A moonsault nets only a one count for Jay Hawke.
Fool: You gotta wear a guy down more before going up top like that.
(Jay Hawke whips El Cholo into the ropes.
Jay Hawke hits El Cholo with a shoulderblock.
Jay Hawke struts across the ring.
The crowd is responding to Jay Hawke.
Jay Hawke takes El Cholo down with a flying cross body press.
Andrew Borgert counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Chip: Another near fall off a top rope move and cholo is reeling. Fans, tickets go on sale this
Friday at 10 AM for Triumphant Tuesday live and outdoors at Municipal Stadium in Greenville,
South Carolina, the home of the Greenville Braves minor league baseball team.
Fool: And, if you get to the box office before noon, you can meet...Madness and Crazygirl?
Well, it IS South Carolina, you know.
(The crowd is responding to Jay Hawke.
Jay Hawke uses a Big Leg Drop on El Cholo.
Jay Hawke is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Jay Hawke goes for a backspin DDT, but El Cholo blocks it.
El Cholo nails Jay Hawke with a powerslam.
El Cholo uses a legdrop on Jay Hawke.
El Cholo whips Jay Hawke into the ropes.
El Cholo and Jay Hawke get hit with a double clothesline.)
Chip: Big double clothesline takes both men down.
Fool: It looks like Cholo will get to his feet first.
(El Cholo gets an abdominal stretch on Jay Hawke.
Jay Hawke is struggling to reach the ropes.
El Cholo lets go after 14 seconds.
El Cholo tags out to Chico.
Ian Eagle enters the ring and lays out El Cholo.
Ian Eagle leaves the ring.
Jay Hawke executes a European uppercut on Chico.
Jay Hawke tags out to Ian Eagle.)
Chip: And now both Eagle and Chico are tagged in.
Fool: Come on, Chico! Viva Corona!
(Ian Eagle and Jay Hawke whip Chico into the ropes.
Ian Eagle and Jay Hawke hit Chico with a double dropkick.
El Cholo enters the ring and throws Jay Hawke out of the ring.
El Cholo nails Ian Eagle with an enzuigiri to the face.
Chico hits Ian Eagle with a flying somersault headbutt.
The crowd is cheering on Chico.)
Chip: Two spectacular double team maneuvers. You have to be impressed with both teams.
Fool: Nah. I only have to be impressed with KBK.
(El Cholo leaves the ring.
Ian Eagle hits a dropkick on Chico.
Ian Eagle takes Chico down with a flying bodypress.
Andrew Borgert counts: One, two, kickout.
There's a small reaction to Ian Eagle.
Ian Eagle uses a flying senton on Chico.
Andrew Borgert counts: One, shoulder up.)
Chip: Two near falls by Ian Eagle.
Fool: And we just hate it.
(A few fans are cheering on Ian Eagle.
Chico hits Ian Eagle with spinning headscissors.
Chico nails Ian Eagle with a flying somersault headbutt.
The crowd is cheering on Chico.
Chico goes for a fallaway slam, but Ian Eagle counters it with a forearm smash.
Ian Eagle hits Chico with a Frankensteiner from the top rope.
Andrew Borgert counts: One, kickout.
Ian Eagle struts across the ring.)
Chip: Top rope Frankensteiner. The Birds are pulling out all the stops. They must want
this victory pretty badly.
Fool: The KBK keep getting up from these shots, so they must want it pretty badly too.
(A small "Ian Eagle" chant is being started.
Ian Eagle goes for a frog splash, but Chico counters it with a knee pull-up.
Chico uses a snap suplex on Ian Eagle.
Chico goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Ian Eagle counters it with
an enzuilariato.
Ian Eagle struts across the ring.
The crowd is responding to Ian Eagle.)
Chip: Both teams are after the tag title belts currently held by Endless Fury.
Fool: Well, the Birds already beat Fatal Fury and that HIWF guy. And the Killaz are
just bad news.
(Ian Eagle goes for a clawhold, but Chico blocks it.
Chico hits Ian Eagle with a Gorilla Press.
Chico punches Ian Eagle.
There are lots of chants for Chico.
Chico kicks Ian Eagle.
The crowd is really behind Chico.
Chico hits Ian Eagle.
There are lots of chants for Chico.)
Fool: Face it, Chip. You can't keep good tacos down. The crowd loves them.
Chip: Well, the Killaz have a certain following here in New York.
(Ian Eagle hits Chico.
Ian Eagle chops Chico.
Chico hits Ian Eagle with a double underhook piledriver.
The crowd is really behind Chico.
Chico is going for the pin.)
Fool: It's the Execution!
Chip: Chico with his own version on the double underhook piledriver. The cover...
(Andrew Borgert counts: One, two, in the ropes...)
Chip: Oh! Eagle just gets his foot under the ropes.
Fool: He's lucky Borgert saw that.
(Ian Eagle uses a back heel kick on Chico.
Ian Eagle punches Chico.
There are lots of chants for Ian Eagle.
Ian Eagle kicks Chico.
The crowd is really behind Ian Eagle.
Ian Eagle hits Chico.
Ian Eagle is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Ian Eagle tags out to Jay Hawke.)
Chip: Chico is reeling, and the tag is made to Jay Hawke!
Fool: Ay carumba!
(Jay Hawke and Ian Eagle hit Chico with a double flying dropkick.)
Chip: Big double dropkick!
(Ian Eagle goes for a faceslam, but Chico blocks it.
Ian Eagle rolls out of the ring.
Chico nails Jay Hawke with spinning headscissors.
Chico tags out to El Cholo.
Ian Eagle enters the ring and lays out Chico.
Ian Eagle leaves the ring.)
Chip: Great move by Eagle, preventing the double team.
Fool: What are you talking about? He WAS double teaming?
(Jay Hawke hits an elbowsmash on El Cholo.
Jay Hawke runs into the ropes.
Jay Hawke nails El Cholo with a faceslam.
Jay Hawke struts across the ring.
The crowd is responding to Jay Hawke.
El Cholo takes Jay Hawke down with a Frankensteiner from the top rope.)
Fool: Yes! Cholo caught him strutting!
(Andrew Borgert counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Chip: No! Hawke slips out!
Jeff: 5 minutes gone by. There are 25 minutes remaining.
(El Cholo is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
El Cholo hits Jay Hawke with a senton.
Andrew Borgert counts: One, kickout.
Jay Hawke takes El Cholo down with a back heel kick.
Jay Hawke hits El Cholo with a jawbreaker.
Jay Hawke executes the Hawke Splash on El Cholo.)
Chip: Hawke splash from the top! Forget about it!
Fool: Get to the ropes!
(Jay Hawke is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Jay Hawke goes for the pin.
Andrew Borgert counts: One, two, three.)
Fool: No! He had his foot under the ropes!
Chip: You may be right, Fool! It looks like Cholo might have gotten his foot under the
ropes before the three count. But referee Andrew Borgert did not see it!
(El Cholo complains to Andrew Borgert.)
Jeff: Here are your winners, in 5:46, The Birds of Prey!
("I believe I can fly" plays as we see a man in a black mask and black bodysuit hop the
railing.)
Chip: What the...? Who is that?
(The masked man in black enters the ring and nails Ian Eagle with a devastating superkick
to the back of the head. Chico and Cholo, capitalizing on the opportunity, attack Jay Hawke.)
Chip: Whoever this masked man is, he has attacked the Birds of Prey, and the Kold Blooded Killaz
are helping him!
Fool: Did I tell you that Chip had a Master's degree in the obvious?
(Cholo holds Hawke while the masked man delivers an axe kick to the point of Hawke's shoulder.
Chico is punching Ian Eagle.)
Chip: The Birds of Prey win the match, but they may lose the war!
Fool: It's really simple, Chip. It's Cinco de Mayo, and the Birds are the pinatas! Ole!
(The Birds of Prey are down on the canvas as the masked man and the Kold Blooded Killaz leave.
The masked man looks into the camera.)
Masked Man (hissing): The MIA's are coming, foo'!
Chip: Wow. We've heard talk about this MIA before from the Killaz. I guess this masked man
must be the MIA.
Fool: I don't know. I'm not taking anything for granted. That guy looked to be about 6'3",
maybe two hundred forty pounds? About the same size as the KBK's.
Chip: Well, the Birds of Prey are finally leaving under their own power. And just in time too,
because Texas Pete is on his way to the ring!
Fool: Oh, crap.
("The Eyes of Texas" by the University of Texas marching band plays over the speakers
as Texas Pete emerges from the back wearing his cowboy hat, jeans, cowboy boots and a
leather jacket. He cracks his bullwhip and receives a polite reaction from the crowd.)
Chip: This is the first time we've seen Mr. Meteorite #69 on Wrasslin' Roundup.
Fool: Oh, he's the guest? This ought to be funny.
(Texas Pete grabs the mic.)
Texas: Mah guest t'naht is one of the biggest, baddest men in wrasslin. Please give a warm
wahlcome t' Mistah Meat-eater-ite Numbah Six-tah Nahn!
("Bring the Noize" plays as the masked Mr. Meteorite heads to ringside. Orange fireworks flash
behind him. The crowd boos.)
Fool: I don't envy Texas Pete.
Chip: Beacuse he has to interview Mr. Meteorite?
Fool: No. Just in general.
(Mr. Meteorite #69 stands next to Texas Pete.)
Texas: Now, Mr. Meat-eater-ite, anybody ever told ya that ya look kind a
like that Moon Doggy feller that used to be wrasslin' here?
MM69: No es verdad.
Chip: Huh?
Fool: He said "That's not true".
Texas: Why'd ya go 'n beat up on that there Dewy Hicks feller? What'd he
ever done to ya?
MM69: Sa...sa...sa...sometimes thems Meteorite's stomachs
gets to hurtins, he starts gettins gas real ba....ba...ba... bads. He a
he a he a he a he a starts to kinds of smells, peeee uuuuu, buts he
stills aints sta...sta...sta...sta...stanks as bads as thems Duey Hicks.
Tu madre e...e...e....es muy fea. da...da...da...Duey dones hads its
comins. Ma....ma....ma.....Meteorite AROOOOOOOO!! he don'ts likes
sta...sta...sta....stanky peoples. Yass! Yass!
Fool: Great. Now I can't understand this guy in two languages.
Texas: Y'all been hangin' out with Hard...ah, I mean...Big E-Z ever since
the Blast, and ya also been carryin' on with Davey Storm and Brian
Christian. What are ya all up to?
MM69: Them times is them times is them ta...ta...ta....
times, ans youse is stills uglies. Ya....ya....ya....youse is reals
stupids to. You aints rallys goes to thems U....u....u....University of
Texas dids youse ta...ta....ta...ta....tubby. They gots smarts purdy
sta...sta....sta....students theres, youse knows, kinds of
la...la....la...likes Mister Me...me....me....Meteorite! AROOOOOOOO!
Thems students beez reals mo....mo....mo....mo....mobcap.
Fool: He's calling Texas Pete stupid! That's great!
Chip: He also didn't answer the question.
Texas: Why you been biting all these here people lately?
MM69: Ta...ta...ta...ta...ta...tastes likes thems chicken.
Texas: Y'all got a big loss against Jaggy Edge on the Birthday Blast. Who all
do ya wanna wrassle next?
MM69: Wells, sinces ya...ya....ya...youse gots to beez
such a sma....sma....sma...smarts ass bouts its, maybes youse gonnas
gets bits. Sa....sa...sa...sa....soes thems Edge gots luckies, nexts
times thems Ma....Ma.....Ma.....Meteorites gonnas drills a hole
straights through his head down into his bra...bra....bra....brains.
Fool: Who's the smart one in this interview again?
Chip: Stop.
Texas: Say, there was a guy around here last summer called Mr. Meteorite
#4? Y'all cousins or somethin'?
MM69: Thems rasslins worlds fa..fa...fa...fa...fools of
Meteorites. Theys beez hundreds of thousands of thems, ans tha....tha
....theys beez thems bestus in thems galaxy. Froms Pluto to thems
An.....An.....An....wheres thems Captain Kirks, he sangs reals goods,
thems Me....Me....Me...Meteorite likes purdy voices, to wheres thems
captain Kirk beez hangins, theys beez Mr.Meteorites. Youse knows youse
dones ha.....ha....ha....hits thems big times once a Meteorite dones
joins yo league. Con....con....congratulations Frenk, youse dones
ba....ba....beez visited bys thems Meteorites twice knows, youse life
wills beez spa....spa....spareds whens thems Ma....Ma....Meteorite
numbas sixty nine self destruct takins thems ent.....ent....ent....entires
galaxy withs hims.
Chip: Ah...okay...
Texas: You got anything to say to all yer fans?
MM69: Ma......Ma.....Meteorite! AROOOOOOOOOOO!!! AROOOOOOOO!!! AROOOOOOOO!!
Texas: Ladies 'n gentlemen, Mister Meat...OW!
[Mr.Meteorite#69 lunges at and bites Texas Pete on the forearm.]
Fool: Ha-hah!
("Bring the Noize" plays as Mister Meteorite #69 walks off. Texas Pete is shaking his arm
in pain.)
Chip: He bit Texas Pete!
Fool: Oh, yeah. One of the best "Wrasslin' Roundup"'s ever! Two thumbs up!
Chip: Fans, when we return, we'll see the TV Title on the line. Don't miss it!
-------------------
(comercial)
------------------
Chip: We're live in Madison Square Garden, home of the New York Knicks, and this is Triumphant
Tuesday.
Fool: I still haven't seen anything better than 'Zo vs. Grandmama, but the night ain't over
yet.
Chip: We are about to see our first ever defense of the Television Title. Let's go up to the
ring and join Jeff Ayres.
Jeff: The following contest is set for one fall with a ten minute time limit. It is for the
SWF Television Title!
(The crowd roars as "Drug against War" by KMFDM starts to play.]
Jeff: Introducing the challenger, accompanied by Fraulein Domina, from Bremen,
Germany, weighing in at 308 pounds, here is Panzer Sturm!
[The lights dim and spotlights run around the arena as Panzer Sturm stares
straight ahead as he and Fraulein Domina head towards the ring to the sounds
of cheers and boos.]
Chip: Panzer Sturm has been quiet as of late, but he's still a very tough customer.
Fool: You still have to explain to me how this whole thing works.
["Staying Alive" by Wyclef Jean starts to play as the Revolution logo fills the video wall.]
Jeff: And his opponent, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 252
pounds, here is the SWF Television Champion, The Headhunter!!
[Headhunter walks out through the entrance as fireworks are launched.
He continues to keep on walking on down the aisle into the ring. The crowd, for the most part,
cheers.]
Chip: Jeff Hart is your referee. This bout has a ten minute time limit, which puts the
pressure on Panzer Sturm.
Fool: What happens if they go ten minutes?
(The bell rings. They lock up.
The Headhunter hits Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter hits Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter chops Panzer Sturm.
A small "The Headhunter" chant is being started.
The Headhunter goes for a backspin DDT, but Panzer Sturm blocks it.
Panzer Sturm hits a knee to the back on The Headhunter.
Panzer Sturm whips The Headhunter into the ropes, but The Headhunter
reverses it.
The Headhunter misses with a clothesline.
The Headhunter hits Panzer Sturm with a clothesline.)
Chip: Big clothesline by Double H. If the match goes ten minutes, it's a time limit draw, and
both men return here next week with a 20 minute time limit.
Fool: So Headhunter will also be trying to finish Sturm off.
(Panzer Sturm falls out of the ring.
The Headhunter goes through the ropes.
The Headhunter executes the Hit on Panzer Sturm on the concrete floor.
A small "The Headhunter" chant is being started.
Jeff Hart counts: 1.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
The Headhunter hits a spinebuster slam on Panzer Sturm.
Jeff Hart counts: 2.)
Chip: Jeff Hart giving both these men a lot of leeway here.
Fool: Panzer's in trouble! Double H is destroying him on the floor.
(The Headhunter whips Panzer Sturm into the guardrail.
Jeff Hart counts: 3.
The Headhunter reenters the ring.
Panzer Sturm follows him back in.
Panzer Sturm uses an over-the-shoulder stomachbreaker on The Headhunter.
Panzer Sturm nails The Headhunter with a side suplex.
Panzer Sturm uses an inverted power bomb on The Headhunter.
The crowd is cheering on Panzer Sturm.)
Chip: Big inverted power bomb. The TV champion has the right to choose his opponents. If he
doesn't, the SWF will choose his opponent by a random draw of those singles wrestlers who have
not won a major SWF title.
Fool: Hunter's in trouble!
(Panzer Sturm takes The Headhunter down with a German suplex.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, in the ropes...)
Chip: Headhunter grabs the ropes and the match continues!
(Panzer Sturm is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Panzer Sturm takes The Headhunter down with an over-the-shoulder stomachbreaker.
Panzer Sturm puts The Headhunter in a choke against the ropes.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, three.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, three, four.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, three, four, five.)
Chip: Sturm is flirting with a disqualification here.
Fool: Hart's the no-DQ ref. Sturm just wants to deliver as much punishment as he can while
he has the advantage.
(Panzer Sturm takes The Headhunter down with a bodyslam.
Panzer Sturm goes for the Blitzkrieg, but The Headhunter counters it with
a kneelift.
Panzer Sturm hits a low blow on The Headhunter.
Panzer Sturm hits a low blow on The Headhunter.
Panzer Sturm places The Headhunter on the turnbuckle.
Panzer Sturm hits a belly-to-belly superplex on The Headhunter.
Panzer Sturm catches The Headhunter in a clawhold.
The Headhunter reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.)
Chip: If Headhunter hangs on, he has challenged the winner of the Fatal Fury-Artful Dodger
match, and you will see that contest next week on Triumphant Tuesday.
Fool: If Sturm keeps this up, it won't be a problem.
(Panzer Sturm attemps to place The Headhunter on the turnbuckle, but
The Headhunter blocks it.
Panzer Sturm throws The Headhunter out of the ring.
Panzer Sturm goes through the ropes.
Jeff Hart counts: 1.
Panzer Sturm reenters the ring.
The Headhunter follows him back in.
Panzer Sturm executes a football tackle on The Headhunter.)
Chip: You can see that match between Fatal Fury and Artful Dodger this Thursday night on SWF
Around the World with Dean Obermann and Corporal Punishment.
Fool: Big suplex by Sturm!
(Panzer Sturm takes The Headhunter down with a Northern Lights suplex.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, in the ropes...
The crowd is cheering on Panzer Sturm.)
Chip: Another near fall. The television champ is in trouble during his first title defense.
Fool: We haven't heard much from Sturm lately, but he can be an absolute terror.
(Panzer Sturm goes for a bulldog headlock, but The Headhunter counters it with
a back suplex.
The Headhunter uses a Frankensteiner on Panzer Sturm.
Jeff Hart counts: One, kickout.
The Headhunter complains about a slow count.
There are lots of chants for The Headhunter.
The Headhunter hits a Big Leg Drop on Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter has the crowd going wild.
Panzer Sturm puts The Headhunter in a full nelson.)
Chip: Sturm with the full nelson. Don't forget that this Sunday on Slaughterhouse, we will see
what may be the final battle between Tom Pho and the new American Champion, Gods Tears.
Fool: It'll be hard for Hunter to claim he's the number one contender for the World Title if
Panzer beats him here.
(The Headhunter reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Panzer Sturm executes an elbowsmash on The Headhunter.
Panzer Sturm goes for a bulldog headlock, but The Headhunter blocks it.
The Headhunter hits Panzer Sturm with a belly-to-back suplex.
Panzer Sturm uses a football tackle on The Headhunter.
Panzer Sturm hits The Headhunter with a faceslam.
Panzer Sturm uses a bulldog headlock on The Headhunter.
Panzer Sturm runs into the ropes.)
Chip: The massive German continues to dish out the punishment. How much more can Headhunter
take?
Fool: I think Sturm wants to hit the Blitzkrieg, and that would finish it.
(Panzer Sturm misses with a clothesline.
The Headhunter goes for a swinging neckbreaker, but Panzer Sturm
counters it with a side suplex.
Panzer Sturm has the crowd going wild.
Panzer Sturm takes The Headhunter down with a spinebuster slam.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, kickout.)
Chip: One, two, NO!
(The Headhunter executes a kick to the head on Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter yells "That's why I am the best!".)
Jeff: 5 minutes gone by. 5 minutes remain.
Fool: Tell Mister "the Best" that he's getting his clock cleaned.
(The crowd is going crazy.
The Headhunter attemps to place Panzer Sturm on the turnbuckle, but Panzer Sturm
blocks it.
The Headhunter whips Panzer Sturm into the turnbuckle.
The Headhunter nails Panzer Sturm with a swinging neckbreaker.
The crowd is going crazy.
The Headhunter executes a double underhook piledriver on Panzer Sturm.)
Fool: Another Execution. What is it with this move?
Chip: The momentum has shifted back to the TV champ.
(The Headhunter runs into the ropes.
Panzer Sturm nails The Headhunter with a side suplex.
The chants for Panzer Sturm are deafening.
Panzer Sturm goes for an inverted power bomb, but The Headhunter blocks it.
The Headhunter goes for a piledriver, but Panzer Sturm blocks it.
Panzer Sturm gets a choke against the ropes on The Headhunter.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, three, four.
Panzer Sturm goes for a side suplex, but The Headhunter blocks it.)
Chip: This has been an incredible two weeks here in the SWF. You can feel the momentum
building as we begin to approach SWF Beach Brawl.
Fool: We just got finished with one pay-per-view, and you're already hyping the next one.
(The Headhunter uses a dropkick on Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter nails Panzer Sturm with a dropkick.
The Headhunter uses a jumping neck snap on Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter hits a spinebuster slam on Panzer Sturm.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, kickout.
There are lots of chants for The Headhunter.)
Chip: Spinebuster and another near fall.
Fool: Headhunter's double tough and all. But I wonder how he stacks up against GT, or Sandman
or even Doug Bacon.
(The Headhunter hits a belly-to-back suplex on Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter hits a chop on Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter executes a front-layout superplex on Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter runs into the ropes.
Panzer Sturm hits The Headhunter with an elbow.
Panzer Sturm whips The Headhunter into the ropes.
The Headhunter executes a faceslam on Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter executes a chop on Panzer Sturm.)
Chip: A vicious chop. This man Headhunter is one of the cornerstones of the Revolution, and
the whole wrestling world has been following his progress.
Fool: And he is a marked man now. Because EVERYONE's got a chance to win the TV title.
(The Headhunter goes for a kick to the head, but Panzer Sturm blocks it.
Panzer Sturm punches The Headhunter.
Panzer Sturm chops The Headhunter.
The crowd is going crazy.
The Headhunter punches Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter punches Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter punches Panzer Sturm.
The crowd is really behind The Headhunter.)
Chip: A series of lefts and rights from the man who trained in the dungeons of Calgary!
Fool: We're running up against the time limit, aren't we?
(The Headhunter hits Panzer Sturm with a kick to the head.
The Headhunter hits Panzer Sturm with an elbowsmash.
The Headhunter whips Panzer Sturm into the ropes.
The Headhunter misses with a kick.
Panzer Sturm misses with an elbow.
The Headhunter hits Panzer Sturm with a kick.)
Chip: Tim is right. We're closing in on the 10 minute mark. We may see both these wrestlers
back here next week to do this again.
Fool: I've seen worse matches. These two can take some punsihment.
(The Headhunter runs into the ropes.
The Headhunter hits Panzer Sturm with a kick.
The Headhunter nails Panzer Sturm with a chop.
Panzer Sturm runs into the ropes.
The Headhunter hits Panzer Sturm with a kick.)
Jeff: 1 minute remains until time limit.
Chip: Here we go! If Headhunter's going to turn it up, it has to be now!
(The Headhunter goes for a belly-to-back suplex, but Panzer Sturm
counters it with a bulldog headlock.
The Headhunter whips Panzer Sturm into the ropes.
The Headhunter hits Panzer Sturm with an elbow.
The Headhunter uses a jumping DDT on Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter hits a jumping neck snap on Panzer Sturm.
The Headhunter executes the Hit on Panzer Sturm.)
Fool: It's the Hit! It's over, Chipper!
Chip: He's going for the cover!
(The Headhunter has the crowd going wild.
The Headhunter goes for the pin.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, three.
Panzer Sturm complains about a fast count.
The chants for The Headhunter are deafening.)
Chip: He got him! Headhunter will retrun next week to defend the TV title!
Jeff: Here is your winner, in 9:38, The Headhunter!
("Tryin' to Stay Alive" plays as Headhunter holds the TV belt in the air.)
Chip: It will be Fatal Fury or Artful Dodger next week, getting a shot at the television belt.
Fool: Should be interesting.
Chip: Fans, we'll come back in a moment, and you'll see Doug Bacon against Artful Dodger!
------------------
(commercial)
------------------
Chip: Welcome back to Triumphant Tuesday, here in our first show of the second year.
Fool: It keeps getting better and better, don't it?
Chip: We're about ready for our main event. Let's take it up to Jeff Ayres.
Jeff: The following match is set for one fall.
["Fire It Up" by Busta Rhymes begins to play as the crowd cheers.)
Jeff: Introducing first, being led to the ring by
his manager, Westminster, from London, England, weighing in at 178 pounds,
here is the Artful Dodger!
[The Artful Dodger and Westminster walk out from the entrance. The crowd is
going wild as The Artful Dodger makes his way to the ring throwing silver dollars into the
crowd.]
Chip: You like tis guy, huh, Fool?
Fool: Us short people gotta stick together.
Jeff: And his opponent, being led to the ring by his manager, Paul Von Braun, from Sudbury,
Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 340 pounds, he is "Beer Drinkin'" Doug Bacon!!!!
[A heavy metal version of "99 Bottles" blares. Doug and Paul emerge from
the entrance. Tons of fireworks are launched behind him. The crowd is giving him a mixed
reaction. Doug and Paul make their way to the ring. Doug slaps hands
with a few fans that are wearing Doug Bacon or Underground shirts.)
Chip: Realistically, though, what are Dodger's odds tonight?
Fool: Well, he did a good job throwing Bacon out of the battle royal, but I don't know how he's
gonna beat him.
[Doug Bacon makes his way up the steps to the ring, stops, and looks
toward the commentators. He walks over to where Chip is sitting, and
lifts him off his seat. Doug Bacon is spitting in Chip's face as he talks.]
DB: On the review of SWF Greatest Matches you had the gall to say
Jagged Edge is my equal? You think some boony has-been singles
wrestler that now has a tag-team career because he sucks so damn bad,
you think a guy like that is my equal?
(Chip tries to speak, but nothing coherent comes out.)
Doug: I'll tell you something Chip, I'm the best damn SWF World Champ this league has seen,
there is nobody here that is my equal, or my superior. I'm where they draw the
line in the sand as far as wrestling talent goes. Now why don't you
sit back down and do some proper commentating before I rip out your
pea-brain through your ear, and shove it up Fool's .
[Doug Bacon tosses Chip down, causing him to fall over in his seat.]
Fool: You okay, Collins?
(Chip starts getting back into his seat and picking up his headset.
Fool: We're set to go or something. Come on, Dodger! Nobody bitch slaps Collins except me.
(The bell rings. They lock up.
The Artful Dodger kicks Doug Bacon.
The Artful Dodger kicks Doug Bacon.
The Artful Dodger hits Doug Bacon with a Western lariat.
Doug Bacon locks The Artful Dodger in an armbar submission.
The Artful Dodger reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
The Artful Dodger begs off.
Doug Bacon goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but The Artful Dodger
counters it with a facerake.)
Chip (to Fool): Well, YOU were a big help there.
Fool: What were you expecting?
(The Artful Dodger runs into the ropes.
The Artful Dodger hits Doug Bacon with a clothesline.
The Artful Dodger struts across the ring.
There's a small reaction to The Artful Dodger.
The Artful Dodger goes for a ropeburn, but Doug Bacon blocks it.
Doug Bacon goes for a sleeperhold, but The Artful Dodger counters it with
a jawbreaker.
The Artful Dodger struts across the ring.
A few fans are cheering on The Artful Dodger.)
Chip: Nice jawbreaker by Dodger. What I actually said was that Edge was Bacon's equal on the
night he beat him for the World Title.
Fool: I don't think Bacon would appreciate that clarification. Stick with the match.
(The Artful Dodger whips Doug Bacon into the ropes.
Doug Bacon misses with an elbow.
Doug Bacon uses a spinning power bomb on The Artful Dodger.
Jeff Hart counts: One, shoulder up.
Doug Bacon goes for a short lariat, but The Artful Dodger counters it with
a duck-down move.
The Artful Dodger executes a springboard dropkick on Doug Bacon.)
Chip: Incredible springboard dropkick by the Dodger.
Fool: Hoo-wah. I got handed this while you were on your back.
(A small "The Artful Dodger" chant is being started.
The Artful Dodger puts Doug Bacon in a scorpion deathlock.
The Artful Dodger lets go after 7 seconds.
The Artful Dodger executes the Robbing You Blind on Doug Bacon.
The crowd is really behind The Artful Dodger.
The Artful Dodger goes for the pin.)
Chip: Robbing you Blind! Dodger is going for the cover!
(Jeff Hart counts: One, two, thr... kickout.)
Fool: Damn!
Chip: That was so close. Artful Dodger was a half count away from pinning Doug Bacon!
Fool: Can you say "ring rust"?
(The Artful Dodger goes for a cobra clutch, but Doug Bacon blocks it.
Doug Bacon hits The Artful Dodger with a front-layout superplex.
Doug Bacon is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Doug Bacon whips The Artful Dodger into the ropes, but The Artful Dodger
reverses it.
Doug Bacon nails The Artful Dodger with the Running Forearm Smash.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.
The crowd is really behind Doug Bacon.)
Fool: Ooooo. So much for Dodger's offense.
Chip: Fans, this note informs me that next week on Triumphant Tuesday, live from Fort Myers,
Florida, Endless Fury will defend the SWF Tag Team Titles against the Thugz!
(Doug Bacon places The Artful Dodger on the turnbuckle.
Doug Bacon executes a belly-to-belly superplex on The Artful Dodger.
Doug Bacon has the crowd going wild.
Doug Bacon chops The Artful Dodger.
Doug Bacon has the crowd going wild.
The Artful Dodger punches Doug Bacon.)
Fool: Wow. So what happens to Fury's TV Title shot?
Chip: Don't know yet. Dodger is making a big mistake going toe-to-toe with Doug Bacon.
(Doug Bacon hits The Artful Dodger.
Doug Bacon hits The Artful Dodger.
The crowd is behind Doug Bacon all the way.
The Artful Dodger begs off.
Doug Bacon takes The Artful Dodger down with a tiger driver.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.
The crowd is behind Doug Bacon all the way.)
Chip: Headfirst to the canvas, and Dodger still gets a shoulder up.
Fool: If Bacon does something and follows it with a lateral press, that'll end it. Unless he
just wants to hurt Dodger.
(Doug Bacon goes for an armbar submission, but The Artful Dodger blocks it.
The Artful Dodger goes for a diving elbow smash, but Doug Bacon
counters it with a duck-down move.
Doug Bacon hits The Artful Dodger.
The crowd erupts.
The Artful Dodger hits Doug Bacon.
The crowd is behind The Artful Dodger all the way.
The Artful Dodger punches Doug Bacon.
The crowd is behind The Artful Dodger all the way.)
Chip: Fists of fire from Dodger as he bounces off the ropes...He's out to follow it up.
(The Artful Dodger hits Doug Bacon with a Western lariat.
The Artful Dodger hits an avalanche on Doug Bacon.
The crowd is behind The Artful Dodger all the way.
The Artful Dodger goes for a front facelock, but Doug Bacon counters it with
a backdrop.
Doug Bacon runs into the ropes.
The Artful Dodger uses a clothesline on Doug Bacon.
The Artful Dodger whips Doug Bacon into the ropes.
The Artful Dodger hits a clothesline on Doug Bacon.)
Chip: Another clothesline. No effect on Bacon.
Fool: Bacon's got him.
(Doug Bacon hits a jack-knife power bomb on The Artful Dodger.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Chip: Another kickout by Dodger. What intensity we're seeing tonight!
Fool: Bacon's going to celebrate that power bomb.
(Doug Bacon goes over to his corner and chugs down a beer.
The chants for Doug Bacon are deafening.
Doug Bacon hits The Artful Dodger with a flying legdrop.
Jeff Hart counts: One, kickout.
The chants for Doug Bacon are deafening.
The Artful Dodger goes for a Western lariat, but Doug Bacon blocks it.)
Chip: I'd love to see Artful Dodger get the win here, but Bacon is just too powerful.
Fool: If there's a way, Dodger will do it.
(Doug Bacon whips The Artful Dodger into the ropes.
The Artful Dodger hits Doug Bacon with a kick.
The Artful Dodger nails Doug Bacon with a DDT.
The Artful Dodger has the crowd going wild.
Doug Bacon executes the Running Forearm Smash on The Artful Dodger.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.)
Chip: Big running forearm and a near fall.
Fool: Bacon's setting up to try it again.
(Doug Bacon nails The Artful Dodger with the Running Forearm Smash.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, kickout.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.)
Chip: Another two count.
Fool: Hey, von Braun! No dice!
Chip: You're a sick man.
(Doug Bacon uses a tiger driver on The Artful Dodger.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, shoulder up.
The crowd is giving Doug Bacon a standing ovation.
Doug Bacon goes for a chinlock deathlock submission, but The Artful Dodger
blocks it.)
Jeff: 5 minutes gone by. There are 25 minutes remaining.
Chip: I don't know how much longer Artful Dodger can keep up this pace.
Fool: What about Bacon? Beating the crap out of someone wears you down.
(The Artful Dodger uses a DDT on Doug Bacon.
The Artful Dodger hits a springboard dropkick on Doug Bacon.
The Artful Dodger nails Doug Bacon with a jawbreaker.
The Artful Dodger hits Doug Bacon with a ropeburn.
The Artful Dodger uses a ropeburn on Doug Bacon.
The Artful Dodger gets a cobra clutch on Doug Bacon.
Doug Bacon is valiantly trying to break the hold.
The Artful Dodger lets go after 9 seconds.)
Chip: Dodger let go of that submission move.
Fool: He saw that it wasn't working, and he wants to keep the pressure on.
(The Artful Dodger hits a ropeburn on Doug Bacon.
The Artful Dodger executes a DDT on Doug Bacon.
The Artful Dodger takes Doug Bacon down with a jumping neck snap.
The crowd is giving The Artful Dodger a standing ovation.
The Artful Dodger struts across the ring.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.)
Chip: Well, maybe Artful Dodger IS starting to wear Bacon down.
Fool: Can you imagine if Dodger pins Bacon?
(The Artful Dodger goes for a front facelock, but Doug Bacon counters it with
a low blow.
Doug Bacon hits a backdrop driver on The Artful Dodger.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.
Doug Bacon goes for a double chickenwing submission, but The Artful Dodger
blocks it.
The Artful Dodger uses a ropeburn on Doug Bacon.
The Artful Dodger executes a Western lariat on Doug Bacon.)
Chip: The Englishman is not backing down.
Fool: This is what I love about the SWF. A Brit fighting a Canadian. Just like in the UN.
(The Artful Dodger struts across the ring.
The crowd is giving The Artful Dodger a standing ovation.
The Artful Dodger executes a jumping neck snap on Doug Bacon.
The crowd erupts.
The Artful Dodger catches Doug Bacon in a scorpion deathlock.
Doug Bacon is struggling to reach the ropes.
The Artful Dodger lets go after 5 seconds.)
Chip: He let go of the scorpion!
Fool: That's the setup move for the Robbing you Blind!
(The Artful Dodger attempts the Robbing You Blind on Doug Bacon, but Doug Bacon blocks it.
Doug Bacon hits The Artful Dodger with an elbowsmash.
Doug Bacon takes The Artful Dodger down with a Russian legsweep.
Doug Bacon hits The Artful Dodger with a belly-to-belly suplex.
Doug Bacon goes for a power bomb, but The Artful Dodger blocks it.)
Chip: No! Big block by Dodger!
Fool: Dodger's got him in the corner.
(The Artful Dodger executes an avalanche on Doug Bacon.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.
Paul von Braun jumps up on the ring apron.
Jeff Hart orders Paul von Braun to get off the ring apron
Doug Bacon smashes a beer bottle over his head.
He goes for the pin.
There is no referee to count.)
Chip: Cheap shot! Cheap shot! Bacon with the beer bottle, and Hart didn't see it!
Fool: Like he would have done anything if he had.
(Doug Bacon hits The Artful Dodger with a Russian legsweep.
Jeff Hart is back on the job.
Jeff Hart counts: One, two, three.
The crowd erupts.)
Chip: How could Jeff Hart make that three count after seeing the beer and broken glass in the
ring?
Fool: Flashback to his fraternity days?
Jeff: Here is your winner, in 8:10, "Beer Drinkin'" Doug Bacon!
("99 Bottles of Beer" plays. Jeff Hart raises Bacon's hand in victory, then Bacon heads toward
Artful Dodger.)
Chip: Well, Doug Bacon is your winner following that cheap shot...
Fool: ...Oh, no! Dodger's in trouble!
(Westminster is trying to help Dodger, but is caught in a shoving match with Paul von Braun.
Doug Bacon executes an elbowsmash on The Artful Dodger.
Doug Bacon gives the sign for the Fried Bacon.)
Chip: That's unnecessary! Bacon already won the match!
Fool: I can't look. This is bad.
(Doug Bacon places The Artful Dodger on the turnbuckle.
Doug Bacon executes the Fried Bacon on The Artful Dodger.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.)
Chip: Fried Bacon on Artful Dodger!
(SWF security enters the ring and stands over Dodger. They begin arguing with Bacon.)
Fool: Dodger knew what he was getting into. He's still a tough little SOB.
Chip: Fans, we have to go! We'll see you next week. Don't miss it!
Fool: Be there!
(Doug Bacon and Paul von Braun, surrounded by security, leave the ring as the shot fades.)
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c) 1998 SWF Triumphant Tuesday
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