-------------------------------------------
(The SWF logo appears on the screen)
Announcer: The Supreme Wrestling Federation.
The S-W-F.
--------------------------------------------
(Footage is cpationed "Earlier Tonight"
"Highway to Hell" by AC/DC plays underneath the clips.)
(Fade In - A large stage has been erected outside of the arena of which
TT will be held tonight. The billboard above it reads "1998 HIGHWAY TO
HELL WORLD TOUR featuring DEADLY DAVID STORM and those other guys".
David Storm stands up on stage wearing shorts, a "RIDE ROUTE 666 WITH
THE FLOCK" shirt, and a pair of very old and worn looking boots. Not a
fan can be seen within miles, yet Christian and MM#69 sit on the lawn in
front cheering Storm on.)
DS: Thank you very much! Thank you!
(Mr. Meteorite #69 gives a big AROOOOOOO!)
DS: Oh, you're just too kind! Welcome one and all to the kick off of
the 1998 Highway To Hell World Tour!
(Christian and MM#69 applaud.)
DS: From New York to New Mexico... Ontario to Oregon... London to
Little Rock... Anchorage to Amarillo... Italy to India... Tokyo to Tel
Aviv! We are headed down Route 666, and there is no coming back!
(More cheers from MM#69 and the Badass.)
DS: Let's review some of the important stops on the tour shall we?
First of all, there's Toronto where we will see Fatal Fury step into the
ring with the man they call PAAAAAGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Christian begins a Pagan chant.)
DS: Fatal Fury was pretty quick to accept that challenge. Big mistake,
Double F.
(Christian yells out "FURY SUCKS")
DS: You can bring up the fact that you beat me all you want, but trust
me Fury... that is NOTHING to brag about. When you step into the ring
with the man of sin, it's going to be your judgement day.
(MM#69 and Christian both gasp.)
DS: From there, Pagan steps into the ring live and only on Pay-Per-View
to meet American champion, Gods Tears. Not only has Pagan already
beaten ol GT, but he's already held the American title before. So in
other words, this is Brian Frenck's way of keeping Pagan away from the
world title. Just like it's always been... the man is holding us down!
(MM#69 and Christian begin to boo and hiss.)
DS: But can't nobody hold us down! Not only will Pagan become the
first ever two time American champion... but he will do what so many
others before him have so proudly done... beat Gods Tears on more than
one occasion!
(Christian and MM#69 cheer again)
Chip: Triumphant Tuesday is NEXT!
---------------------------------------------
(An overhead shot of a wrestling ring in the middle of a vacant parking lot in a big city.
Night time. The opening bars of "The Extremist" by Joe Satriani play as we see shadowy figures
approach the ring from all sides. There is an explosion, near the ring, increasing the amount
of available light...
And we see the faces of the wrestlers. Jagged Edge and Shae Smith approach the ring as we
see an image of Edge executing the Shattered Dreams on Carey Stone projected on the building
behind him. Doug Bacon wanders in through the parked cars, as Paul von Braun runs alongside him,
holding a case of beer. We see an image of Bacon executing the Fried Bacon on Eric Wright
projected on the building behind him.
Sandman walks in, waving his pitchfork and accompanied by Michelle. We see a shot of Sandman
knocking Lethal off the ladder projected on the building next to him. Mr. Meteorite #69
walks in from a nearby alley. We see an image of Moon Dog hitting the D-Dog-T on Billy Talent
projected on the wall above him.
A shot of the ground near the ring. The Living Dead emerge through the soil, as a shot of them
hitting the Autopsy on the Westside Ridas is projected on the ground next to them. We see Rock
'n Roll Animal standing atop a building, as an image of the Animal hitting a frog splash on Sean
Slade plays beneath him.
An ice cream truck pulls up and God's Tears emerges from the back, as a shot of GT applying
the Hurt on Death Angel is projected on the side of the truck. A stretch limo pulls right up
to ringside. We look in the back and see Mr. Shhh and the Men in Black watching a videotape of
Shhh hitting the Peacemaker on Akira the Samurai.
Cut to an overhead shot of the ring, with the SWF wrestlers approaching from all sides. As
they are all about to enter, we see a burst of fireworks, then the Triumphant Tuesday logo,
followed by another burst of fireworks, which dissolves to...)
------------------------------------------------
(The inside of a packed arena. There are screaming fans and fireworks going off around the ring
and along the rampway. The graphic reads:
"LIVE! Hersheypark Arena
Hershey, Pennsylvania".
The camera pans the crowd, lingering on some of the unique signs there: "WrestlingINC is da
bomb!" "The Revolution sucks!", "Giant Killa is the thrilla!", "The Living Dead will rise
again!", "No limits!", "Bring back Hexx!", and three college kids with a huge banner saying
"Pagan is the Savior of the SWF".)
Chip: Welcome, everyone, to Hershey, Pennsylvania!
(Shots of a bouncy young woman in a Edge 7:11 shirt.)
Chip: Welcome to the Hersheypark Arena!
(Shot of SWF suits Brian Frenck, Pat McNeill and Tim Parker who are sitting in the front row.
Frenck and Parker are wearing tie-dyed SWF Beach Brawl T-shirts. McNeill is wearing a Olie
Kolzig Washington Capitals home jersey. Three SWF security guards are seated next to Frenck.)
Chip: Welcome to Triumphant Tuesday!
(The angle pans down to the announce desk, where we see Chip Collins, wearing an SWF blazer and
a red power tie, next to "The Sportin' Fool" Tim Thorsen, wearing an Abilene Prarie Dogs cap
and a Living Dead T-shirt.)
Chip: I'm Chip Collins, along with the man wrestling fans love to love...
Fool: ..."The Sportin' Fool" Tim Thorsen!
Chip: We hope all of you here in the States had a great Memorial Day weekend as we prepare for
what could be one of our wildest Triumphant Tuesdays ever!
Fool: Listen, all I know is that Bacon is here, GT is here, the KBK are here, Pagan's Flock is
here...What do YOU think is gonna happen?
Chip: Is Trinity here?
Fool: Not tellin'.
Chip: Tonight's main event is one of the most intriguing is SWF history, as the SWF World
Champion, Mr. Shhh, faces the mysterious man known as The Saint in a non-title cage match.
Fool: Who's zoomin' who, Chip? I can't figure out what's going to happen tonight. Is The
Saint setting a trap for Mr. Shhh, or is Mr. Shhh setting a trap for The Saint?
Chip: Speaking of traps, The Revolution will face the MIA tonight as Sean McKenzie defends his
SWF International Title against the Tiger, Tom Pho!
Fool: So far, I would have to say that I really like these MIA's! This could be the night that
McDuke takes the pipe against the Tiger
Chip: We'll see double duty from Double H as he defends his TV Title against Fatal Fury in a
rematch, and he appears on Wrasslin' Roundup with Texas Pete!
Fool (in a drawl): Mistah Dubba-H, how come you keep gittin yer ass kicked by the MIA?
Chip: We open up this program with tag team action. Let's take it up to the ring and join
Jeff Ayres!
(Jeff Ayres, in his rented tux, takes the mic.)
Jeff: Tonight's opening bout is set for one fall with a 30 minute time limit.
["For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica starts to play.]
Jeff: Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 515 pounds, and acompanied by Sapphire,
from Las Vegas, Nevada, Duke "The Dream" Diamond. And from Greenland, The Giant Killer
[The Giant Killer, his cloaked bodyguards, Sapphire and Duke Diamond make their way to the ring
to the indifference of the crowd. Several fireworks are launched as they enter the ring.]
Chip: The Giant Killer has been struggling of late, but he picked up a victory earlier this week
on SWF Slaughterhouse.
Fool: Like he didn't have help.
(The numbers "1-8-7" flash on the SWF video wall as the crowd boos.)
Jeff: And their opponents. From New Orleans, Louisiana, being led to the ring by their manager,
Tyra and weighing in at a combined weight of 622 pounds, here are the former SWF Tag Team
Champions, C-Murder and Shocker, The Thugz!
["Bow Down" by Westside Connection blares. The lights dim and a lone
spotlight illuminates the entrance. The Thugz and Tyra step out and make their way to the ring.
The crowd is booing loudly.]
Chip: The Thugz are as unpopular as ever here in the SWF.
Fool: As long as they whoop up on these two losers, who cares?
Chip: Andrew Borgert is your referee, and we will see C-Murder kicking things off against The
Giant Killer.
(The bell rings. They lock up.
C-Murder throws Giant Killer out of the ring.
Andrew Borgert counts: one, Giant Killer reenters the ring.
C-Murder goes for a Russian legsweep, but Giant Killer counters it with
an elbowsmash.
Giant Killer hits C-Murder.
The crowd is responding to Giant Killer.
Giant Killer chops C-Murder.
There's a small reaction to Giant Killer.)
Chip: Giant Killer gets off to a quick start. Fool, what's on the hotline?
Fool: 1-900-SWF-NEWS. $1.99 a minute. Kids, you must have gullible parents before dialing.
Tonight on Fool's Gold, everyone wants to come back into the SWF.
(C-Murder punches Giant Killer.
There's a small reaction to C-Murder.
Giant Killer hits C-Murder.
There's a small reaction to Giant Killer.
C-Murder kicks Giant Killer.
A few fans are cheering on C-Murder.
C-Murder hits a spin kick on Giant Killer.
C-Murder goes for a fisherman suplex, but Giant Killer blocks it.)
Fool: I'm talking about the great wrestlers of the past, and the not-so-great. Who are they?
Find out! Call until midnight tonight!
(Giant Killer nails C-Murder with a neck snap.
Giant Killer whips C-Murder into the ropes.
C-Murder takes Giant Killer down with a monkey flip.
C-Murder hits a flying dropkick on Giant Killer.
A small "C-Murder" chant is being started.
C-Murder tags out to The Shocker.
Duke Diamond enters the ring and throws C-Murder out of the ring.
The crowd is responding to Duke Diamond.)
Chip: Diamond comes in there, and it looks like a two on one situation.
Fool: My money's on The Shocker.
(Duke Diamond goes for a spinning mule kick, but The Shocker blocks it.
C-Murder catches Duke Diamond in a sleeperhold.
Duke Diamond tries to escape the hold.
Duke Diamond reaches the ropes after being trapped for 21 seconds.
Giant Killer leaves the ring.)
Chip: I thought C-Murder had him with the sleeper.
Fool: There was never a legal tag.
Duke Diamond whips C-Murder into the ropes.
Duke Diamond hits a jumping DDT on C-Murder.
The crowd is responding to Duke Diamond.
Duke Diamond tags out to Giant Killer.
The Shocker enters the ring and lays out Duke Diamond.
The crowd is responding to The Shocker.
The Shocker places Giant Killer on the turnbuckle.
The Shocker hits Giant Killer with a double underhook superplex.)
Chip: Giant Killer is down! He's down and in trouble!
Fool: 1 Adam 12, 1 Adam 12. 1-8-7 in progress. Over.
(he crowd is responding to The Shocker.
C-Murder uses a flying elbowdrop on Giant Killer.
The crowd is cheering on C-Murder.
C-Murder goes for the 187, but Giant Killer counters it with a clothesline.
Giant Killer is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Giant Killer whips C-Murder into the ropes.
C-Murder misses with a clothesline.
Giant Killer misses with a shoulderblock.)
Chip: The two smaller men are in there now. Don't forget that the SWF will bring you Beach
Brawl, live from Nags Head, North Carolina, on pay-per-view June 7th.
Fool: I hear Frenck is putting bleachers there in the sand dunes. Give me a few Coronas, and
this show could change my whole latitude.
(C-Murder uses a double-axhandle chop on Giant Killer.
Giant Killer whips C-Murder into the ropes.
C-Murder hits Giant Killer with an elbow.
C-Murder tags out to The Shocker.
C-Murder uses a dropkick on Giant Killer.
The Shocker nails Giant Killer with an inverted power bomb.
The Shocker is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Duke Diamond enters the ring, but gets cut off.)
Chip: Look at the punishment the Thugz are dishing out!
Fool: This whole match has been Giant Killer taking a beating. The Thugz don't seem to care
about winning or losing.
(The Shocker and C-Murder whip Giant Killer into the ropes.
They hit Giant Killer with a double clothesline.
Duke Diamond gets back up and throws C-Murder out of the ring.
The crowd is responding to Duke Diamond.
Giant Killer and Duke Diamond whip The Shocker into the ropes.
They hit The Shocker with a double kick to the midsection.
Duke Diamond leaves the ring.
Giant Killer hits The Shocker with a powerslam.
Andrew Borgert counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Chip: Oh! Big powerslam by Giant Killer and a two count.
Fool: I think Duke the Dumbass is short arming him. He doesn't want to tag.
(The crowd is really behind Giant Killer.
Giant Killer runs into the ropes.
The Shocker executes a belly-to-belly suplex on Giant Killer.
The Shocker is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
The Shocker hits Giant Killer with the Doctor Bomb.
Andrew Borgert counts: One, kickout.
There are lots of chants for The Shocker.
The Shocker puts Giant Killer in a full nelson.)
Chip: Full Nelson! Giant Killer is in trouble.
Fool: What a loser this Diamond is! He's not even helping out his partner.
(Giant Killer is inching his way towards the ropes.
Giant Killer tries to escape the hold.
Giant Killer reaches the ropes after being trapped for 21 seconds.
The Shocker takes Giant Killer down with a back suplex.
The Shocker throws Giant Killer out of the ring.
The Shocker goes through the ropes.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
The Shocker uses an inverted power bomb on Giant Killer.)
Chip: Power Bomb on the floor!
Fool: Bow down, baby! It's all about the Thugz.
(Andrew Borgert counts: 1.
The Shocker whips Giant Killer into the guardrail.
The Shocker goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Giant Killer counters it with
a punch.
Andrew Borgert counts: 2.
Giant Killer whips The Shocker into the guardrail.
Giant Killer reenters the ring.
The Shocker follows him back in.
Giant Killer runs into the ropes.)
Chip: I agree with you, Fool. Duke Diamond has been absolutely no help to his partner in this
match.
Fool: He's useless. Giant Killer's fighting a handicap match in there.
(The Shocker hits Giant Killer with a kick.
The Shocker goes for a choke slam, but Giant Killer blocks it.
Giant Killer runs into the ropes.
The Shocker hits Giant Killer with a backdrop.
Giant Killer falls out of the ring.
Andrew Borgert counts: one, two, three, four, five,....)
Chip: A high backdrop to the floor, and that'll do it.
Fool: Giant Killer is out, and look at Diamond. He doesn't even care.
(...six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
The Shocker has the crowd going wild.)
Chip: Well, the Thugz win this one by countout.
Jeff: Here are your winners by countout, in 4:48, The Thugz!
("Bow down" plays as Tyra joins the Thugz in the ring while the cloaked men help Giant Killer
to his feet.)
Chip: The Thugz dominated this match, as we go to Tim Thorsen and the Castrol GTX replay.
(A giant object falls from the ceiling and crashes down on the massive Shocker.)
Fool: Whoa!
Chip: We're keeping it right here!
(The Shocker is in the ring, getting to his feet. The ring is covered with rice.)
Chip: Somebody dropped a sack of rice of the head of The Shocker!
Fool: That wasn't Uncle Ben's Converted either. That thing looks like about a 50 pound bag!
(Tyra picks up a piece of paper from the opened bag and hands it to C-Murder. The camera is
looking over C-Murder shoulder and shows a white paper with the words "MIA" scrawled on it in
big black letters. C-Murder wads up the paper and throws it away, helping Shocker to his feet.)
Chip: Well, the MIA is already causing trouble, as they've called out the Thugz!
Fool: These guys are nuts, Chipper. But they're effective.
(Brian Frenck and Pat McNeill are talking to Frenck's security men and pointing to the ceiling.
The three men leave and head down the aisle to the back.)
Chip: Fans, when we return, we have a TV Title rematch. Don't you dare go away!
--------------------------------------
(commercial)
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Chip: We're back in Hershey, Pennyslvania, at the Hersheypark Arena, with more of SWF
Triumphant Tuesday.
Fool: Mmmmm. Chocolate. This rules. A show from a theme park. Who'dve thunk it?
Chip: Jeff Ayres is standing by, because it's time for that TV Title match!
Jeff: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall with a 20 minute time
limit, and it is for the SWF Television Title!
[The fans cheer as "...And Justice For All" by Metallica starts to play.]
Jeff: Introducing first, the challenger! From Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 294
pounds, here is one half of the SWF Tag Team Champions, Fatal Fury!!
[Fatal Fury emerges from the entrance and stands on the platform as
fireworks are launched. He then makes his way down to the ring as the
crowd continues to cheer.]
Chip: These two men went ten minutes last time. I wonder if they will go 20 minutes tonight.
Fool: Headhunter had a rough match on Slaughterhouse. I don't know if he's ready for Fatal
Fury.
["Staying Alive" by Wyclef Jean starts to play as the Revolution logo fills the video wall.]
Jeff: And his opponent, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 252
pounds, here is the SWF Television Champion, The Headhunter!!
[Headhunter walks out through the entrance as red and silver fireworks are launched.
He continues to keep on walking on down the aisle into the ring. The crowd, for the most part,
cheers.]
Chip: Chris Carroll is your referee. This is our first of two title matches tonight, and it
should be one hell of an event. We're set to go!
Fool: Let's get it on!
(The bell rings. They lock up.
The Headhunter whips Fatal Fury into the ropes, but Fatal Fury reverses it.
Fatal Fury misses with an elbow.
The Headhunter hits Fatal Fury with a kick.
The Headhunter executes a reverse neckbreaker on Fatal Fury.
The crowd is responding to The Headhunter.
The Headhunter uses a frog splash on Fatal Fury.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Fool: No, sir!
Chip: Double H using the high risk moves early here.
(The Headhunter complains about a slow count.
The Headhunter is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
The Headhunter uses an elbowsmash on Fatal Fury.
The Headhunter throws Fatal Fury out of the ring.
The Headhunter goes through the ropes.
The Headhunter whips Fatal Fury into the guardrail.
Fatal Fury is busted wide open.
The Headhunter goes for a faceslam, but Fatal Fury blocks it.)
Chip: Headhunter spent Sunday night and part of Monday in the hospital, but he looks fired up
tonight.
Fool: And we have blood already. Hoo-wah!
(Chris Carroll counts: 1.
Chris Carroll counts: 2.
Chris Carroll counts: 3.
Fatal Fury whips The Headhunter into the guardrail.
Fatal Fury reenters the ring.
The Headhunter follows him back in.
Fatal Fury gets a sleeperhold on The Headhunter.
The Headhunter is valiantly trying to break the hold.)
Chip: Fans, we want to remind you that tickets go on sale this Friday at 10 AM for SWF
Triumphant Tuesday on June 30th at the Copps Coliseum.
Fool: If you make it to the Coliseum box office before noon, you can meet Panzer Sturm and
Fraulein Domina. Mostly Fraulein Domina.
(The Headhunter reaches the ropes after being trapped for 6 seconds.
Fatal Fury goes for a powerslam, but The Headhunter counters it with a lariat.
The crowd is cheering on The Headhunter.
Fatal Fury runs into the ropes.
Fatal Fury misses with a clothesline.
Fatal Fury misses with a clothesline.
Fatal Fury hits The Headhunter with a clothesline.
Fatal Fury goes for a lariat, but The Headhunter blocks it.)
Chip: Fury goes for one too many clotheslines.
Fool: It don't matter. My boy Dodger will take care of the winner at Beach Brawl.
(The Headhunter goes for a belly-to-back suplex, but Fatal Fury blocks it.
Fatal Fury puts The Headhunter in a chokehold.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, three.
Fatal Fury gets a chokehold on The Headhunter.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, three, four.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, three.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, three.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, three, four.)
Chip: Fury is risking a disqualification here.
Fool: As long as he keeps breaking on the four count, he'll be okay.
(Fatal Fury whips The Headhunter into the ropes.
Fatal Fury hits The Headhunter with a belly-to-belly suplex.
The crowd is cheering on Fatal Fury.
Fatal Fury is going for the pin.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, in the ropes...)
Chip: That was close. Headhunter just does get his left arm under the ropes.
Fool: That's why Hunter was going for the quick win. He's still tired from the hospital.
(Fatal Fury nails The Headhunter with an elbowsmash.
Fatal Fury executes a vertical suplex on The Headhunter.
Fatal Fury nails The Headhunter with a clothesline.
Fatal Fury nails The Headhunter with an elbowdrop.
Fatal Fury throws The Headhunter out of the ring.
Chris Carroll counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, The Headhunter
reenters the ring.
Fatal Fury hits a vertical suplex on The Headhunter.
Fatal Fury goes for a headbutt, but The Headhunter blocks it.)
Chip: Now it's Fatal Fury. He wants to be the first man in SWF history to hold a singles title
and a tag title simultaneously.
Fool: Can you believe he signed to fight Pagan this Thursday? What a sucker.
(The Headhunter attemps to place Fatal Fury on the turnbuckle, but Fatal Fury
blocks it.
The Headhunter hits a jumping DDT on Fatal Fury.
The Headhunter is going for the pin.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, kickout.)
Chip: One! Two!
Fool: No soup for you!
(The Headhunter executes a brain buster on Fatal Fury.
The crowd is cheering on The Headhunter.
The Headhunter yells "That's why I am the best!".
The crowd is cheering on The Headhunter.
The Headhunter whips Fatal Fury into the ropes.
The Headhunter nails Fatal Fury with a Frankensteiner.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, kickout.)
Chip: Another near fall! I don't think these two can keep up such a brisk pace for 20 minutes.
Fool: Do you know who gets the TV Title shot next week?
Chip: We won't find that out until after the show.
(The Headhunter nails Fatal Fury with a jumping neck snap.
The Headhunter yells "That's why I am the best!".
The crowd is really behind The Headhunter.
The Headhunter attemps to place Fatal Fury on the turnbuckle, but Fatal Fury
blocks it.
The Headhunter hits Fatal Fury with a front-layout superplex.
There are lots of chants for The Headhunter.
The Headhunter goes for a brain buster, but Fatal Fury counters it with
a vertical suplex.
Fatal Fury throws The Headhunter out of the ring.
Fatal Fury goes through the ropes.)
Jeff: 5 minutes gone by. There are 15 minutes remaining.
Chip: The challenger takes the match to the floor!
(The crowd is really behind Fatal Fury.
Fatal Fury whips The Headhunter into the guardrail.
Chris Carroll counts: 1.
Fatal Fury whips The Headhunter into the guardrail.
Chris Carroll counts: 2.
Fatal Fury reenters the ring.
The Headhunter follows him back in.)
Fool: Dumb move. Hunter should have rested on the floor.
Chip: Maybe he thinks he has the advantage.
(Fatal Fury goes for a headbutt, but The Headhunter blocks it.
The Headhunter runs into the ropes.
Fatal Fury goes for a Hotshot, but The Headhunter counters it with
a flying forearm.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, kickout.)
Chip: A flying forearm. And each near fall gets tougher and tougher to kick out of.
Fool: I thought this TV Title idea would suck at first. But it's not so bad.
(The Headhunter has the crowd going wild.
The Headhunter nails Fatal Fury with a DDT.
The Headhunter goes for a spinebuster slam, but Fatal Fury counters it with
a kneelift.
Fatal Fury uses a lariat on The Headhunter.
Fatal Fury has the crowd going wild.
Fatal Fury executes the Furious Fall on The Headhunter.)
Chip: Furious Fall!
Fool: That's the sound of a new champ, Collins!
(The crowd is going crazy.
Fatal Fury goes for the pin.)
Chip: One! Two!...
(Chris Carroll counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.)
Chip: Yes! No! Headhunter gets the shoulder up!
Fool: Fury is pissed! He's going for a submission hold.
(Fatal Fury puts The Headhunter in a front facelock.
The Headhunter is struggling to reach the ropes.
The Headhunter reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Fatal Fury hits The Headhunter.
The Headhunter punches Fatal Fury.
The crowd is giving The Headhunter a standing ovation.
The Headhunter hits Fatal Fury.
The crowd erupts.)
Fool: Screw scientific wrestling! They're brawling now!
Chip: I think the challenger has the advantage in a street brawl.
(Fatal Fury kicks The Headhunter.
The crowd is behind Fatal Fury all the way.
The Headhunter kicks Fatal Fury.
The crowd is on its feet cheering for The Headhunter.
The Headhunter kicks Fatal Fury.
The crowd is on its feet cheering for The Headhunter.
Fatal Fury chops The Headhunter.
Fatal Fury punches The Headhunter.)
Chip: You can see the blood dripping from the face of Fatal Fury! What intensity!
Fool: I can't believe Double H kicked out. Fury's making him pay though.
(Fatal Fury chops The Headhunter.
Fatal Fury is bleeding like a faucet.
Fatal Fury executes a DDT on The Headhunter.
The Headhunter goes for a bridging back suplex, but Fatal Fury counters it with
a headlock takedown.
Fatal Fury goes for an inverted power bomb, but The Headhunter blocks it.
The Headhunter hits Fatal Fury with a jumping DDT.)
Chip: DDT! Great counter and a DDT!
Fool: Is Fatal Fury any relation to Nick Fury, Agent of Shield?
Chip: Would you be serious?
(The crowd is giving The Headhunter a standing ovation.
The Headhunter executes a belly-to-back suplex on Fatal Fury.
The Headhunter hits a belly-to-back suplex on Fatal Fury.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.
The Headhunter uses a fisherman suplex on Fatal Fury.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, kickout.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.)
Chip: Fisherman suplex and a bridge wasn't quite enough there.
Fool: Fatal Fury is bleeding profusely, Chip. I just wanted to say that.
(The Headhunter throws Fatal Fury out of the ring.
The Headhunter goes through the ropes.
The Headhunter nails Fatal Fury with a backspin DDT.
Chris Carroll counts: 1.
The Headhunter throws Fatal Fury back into the ring.
Fatal Fury runs into the ropes.)
Chip: Fury looks a little unsteady on his feet.
Fool: He's a competitor. I'm surprised that Hunter threw Fury back in!
(The Headhunter hits Fatal Fury with a faceslam.
The Headhunter takes Fatal Fury down with a Big Leg Drop.
The Headhunter runs into the ropes.
The Headhunter misses with a shoulderblock.
Fatal Fury misses with a clothesline.
Fatal Fury misses with a kick.
Fatal Fury goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but The Headhunter
counters it with a facerake.
The Headhunter chops Fatal Fury.)
Chip: Back and forth between these two great wrestlers.
Fool: They're both champions. Literally. For now, anyway.
(The Headhunter punches Fatal Fury.
Fatal Fury hits The Headhunter.
The Headhunter punches Fatal Fury.
Fatal Fury chops The Headhunter.
Fatal Fury has the crowd going wild.
The Headhunter hits Fatal Fury.
The crowd is giving The Headhunter a standing ovation.)
Chip: We will undoubtedly see both these wrestlers at Beach Brawl on pay-per-view.
Fool: With all the guys we have in the back, we could have the pay-per-view tonight.
(Fatal Fury chops The Headhunter.
The Headhunter hits Fatal Fury.
The crowd is behind The Headhunter all the way.
The Headhunter whips Fatal Fury into the ropes, but Fatal Fury reverses it.
The Headhunter uses a chop on Fatal Fury.
The Headhunter goes for a DDT, but Fatal Fury counters it with a backdrop.)
Chip: Another great counter by Fury! And we still have two main event caliber matches to go!
Fool: Plus, hopefully, some more gratuitous attacks.
(Fatal Fury catches The Headhunter in a choke against the ropes.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, three, four.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, three.
Fatal Fury whips The Headhunter into the ropes.
Fatal Fury hits The Headhunter with a clothesline.
The Headhunter falls out of the ring.
Fatal Fury goes through the ropes.)
Chip: Once again, the challenger goes to the floor.
Fool: Of course. He needs to drag Headhunter back in there!
(Chris Carroll counts: 1.
Fatal Fury reenters the ring.
The Headhunter follows him back in.
The Headhunter hits Fatal Fury with a spinebuster slam.
Chris Carroll counts: One, shoulder up.
The Headhunter nails Fatal Fury with a jumping neck snap.
The crowd is behind The Headhunter all the way.
The Headhunter is going for the pin.
Chris Carroll counts: One, shoulder up.)
Chip: Another one count.
Fool: Fury's just one move away from winning this belt.
(The Headhunter whips Fatal Fury into the ropes.
The Headhunter misses with a clothesline.
The Headhunter goes for a jumping DDT, but Fatal Fury counters it with
a backdrop.
Fatal Fury hits The Headhunter with a Tombstone.
The Headhunter gouges his eyes.
The Headhunter executes the Hit on Fatal Fury.)
Chip: The Hit! Headhunter with the Hit!
Fool: He raked the eyes and Fury staggered right into that superkick!
(The crowd is behind The Headhunter all the way.
The Headhunter goes for the pin.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, three.
The crowd is giving The Headhunter a standing ovation.)
Chip: It's over!
Fool: I don't believe it.
Jeff: Here is your winner, in 9:42, The Headhunter!
(Wyclef Jean plays as Headhunter has his hand held up by Chris Carroll.)
Chip: Headhunter hangs on, and it looks more and more likely that he will meet Artful Dodger on
June 7th on pay-per-view!
Fool: We'll see how he does next week.
Chip: It's almost time for Headhunter's appearance on "Wrasslin' Roundup" with Texas Pete!
("The Eyes of Texas" plays as the camera stays focused on Headhunter. We see yet another giant
sack of rice fall from the ceiling and crash over his head, spilling its contents all over
the ring.)
Chip: It's the MIA's with another rice bomb!
Fool: More San Francisco treat for the Revolution! Hoo-wah!
(Headhunter slowly gets to his feet. He picks up a white piece of paper pinned to the sack
that says "MIA" in black magic marker. Enraged, he leaves the ring and heads down the aisle to the
back, pushing past Texas Pete, who has obviously come out to interview him.)
Chip: Hunter's heading for the dressing rooms!
Fool (laughing): Gotta hand it to Texas Pete! Another great episode! How does he do it?
Chip: Well, we can't have this going on all night! Security needs to find whoever is dropping
the rice on the wrestlers!
Fool: Yeah. Everyone's done such a good job finding the MIA's so far...
(We see a camera making its way through the back stage area.)
Chip: I'm being told there's a fight going on in the back in front of the MIA locker room!
(The camera weaves through backstage traffic. We see Headhunter brawling with El Cholo, Rock
'n Roll Animal rolling on the ground trading punches with Chico, and Sean McKenzie being kicked
by the large, mysterious, masked MIA Leader. They are brawling in front of a door that has a
handpainted sign on it saying "MIA".)
Cholo: Don't let them get to Pho, foo'!
(McKenzie trips the MIA leader up and sends him sprawling to the ground. The six men began
brawling down the hall.)
Chip: It's the Revolution and the MIA's! Headhunter's taking them all on!
Fool: Nothing like a little Memorial Day Massacre! I like it!
(The camera follows the six men, whose fight is careening down the aisle. Suddenly, we hear a
loud crashing sound, followed by the sound of a door slamming.)
Chip: What's going on?
(The camera pivots. We see three men, two of them in trenchcoats, hauling what looks to be
an unconscious man out from the MIA dressing room. The camera starts to give chase, when a
fourth man emerges from the MIA door, blocking the cameraman's path. The camera focuses in
on the face of American Champion God's Tears.)
GT: Uh...nothing to see here...go away.
(He puts his hand over the camera lens. The shot fades to static as we return to a shot of
Chip and The Fool.)
Chip: Was that Tom Pho being kidnapped?
Fool: Wait a minute. If that was Pho, who's been dropping rice from the rafters?
Chip: I don't know! When we return on Triumphant Tuesday, we'll see...well, we hope we'll see
Sean McKenzie and Tom Pho's rematch for the American Title. Back after this.
------------------
(commercial)
------------------
Chip: Triumphant Tuesday returns live from Hershey, Pennsylvania.
Fool: Pro wrestling's highest rated show, each and every Tuesday night!
Chip: Well, I think we can shed some light on the attacks from the rafters. Our camera crew
made it up to the catwalk here at Hersheypark Arena just moments ago, and here's what they
captured:
(The caption reads "Moments ago". We are up on the catwalk. Two SWF Security men are dragging
Baby Girl back down the stairs.)
Baby Girl: Get you lousy g[bleep]damn hands off of me! I'll beat the s[bleep] out of you!
(We see two SWF security men behind them, each carrying a sack of rice.)
Guard: That's everything.
(Cut back to Chip and The Fool.)
Chip: Baby Girl is being removed from the arena by SWF Security.
Fool: Att-i-ca! Att-i-ca!
Chip: Meanwhile, I'm told that the other members of the MIA are trying to track down the
whereabouts of Tom Pho. We hope he's okay. Let's get up to the ring!
Jeff: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is for the SWF International Title!
("Look Into My Eyes" by Bone Thugs 'n Harmony starts to play. The crowd pops.]
Jeff: Introducing first, the challenger! From the Phillipines, weighing in at 245 pounds, and
representing the MIA's, here is "Tiger" Tom Pho!!
[Several fireworks go off as the letters MIA appear on the screen. The fans are looking for
Tom Pho's entrance...but Pho doesn't come out. Boos are heard.)
Chip: The first meeting between Tom Pho and Sean McKenzie was marred by outside interference.
And it looks more and more like the second one will be too.
Fool: Ya live by the sneak attack, you get your ass jumped by seven guys when you're not
looking. Happens to the best of 'em.
("Sons Of Scotland" by James Horner starts to play.]
Jeff: And his opponent, being led to the ring by Lady Jezebel, from
Edinburgh, Scotland, weighing in at 375 pounds, here is the reigning SWF
International Champion, Sean "The Duke" McKenzie!!
[The crowd pops as McKenzie and Jezebel walk out the entrance. Several
sparkler type fireworks are launched behind them. As they make their way
down to the ring, both Sean and Jezebel throw white roses into the
audience. The fans are going wild as they enter the ring. McKenzie makes a motion of looking
to the back for Tom Pho.]
Chip: Well, the International Champion is here.
Fool: Pho's gonna end up losing this by forfeit.
(An SWF crewman races to the ring. He hands Jeff Ayres a note.)
Jeff: Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been informed...to look up?
(A spotlight shines in the rafters. We see several figures up on the catwalk. One of them is
holding a microphone.)
Chip; Hold on! Our cameraman is still up in the rafters!
[The camera shows a narrow metal pathway near the arena ceiling. A
look down reveals a 20 floor drop unto the ring-area. We see God's Tears, The Men in Black
and Doug Bacon. Doug Bacon has a limp Tom Pho on his shoulder. Tom Pho has a mask on his face,
and has both his hands and feet tied.]
Bacon: Damn senseless attack. You know what I don't like? Stupid
unprovoked attacks. MIA, payback's a bitch!
Chip: He's dropping him over the ledge!
Fool: He'll kill Pho!
[Doug Bacon hangs Tom Pho off the edge, and cracks a beer bottle
against his head a few times.]
Bacon: Enjoy the fall.
[Placing Tom Pho on his shoulders again, Doug Bacon tosses Tom Pho
off. Tom Pho starts falling toward the arena floor before the rope
tangled to the pathway catches on. With a sudden jerk the pathway
shakes, and Tom Pho swings from side-to-side 20 floors up from the
arena.]
Fool: Pho's gone bungee jumping!
Chip: Tom Pho is unconscious and hanging upside down over the railing, courtesy of Doug Bacon
and God's Tears.
Fool: And the Revolution helped them. I don't know if that was an accident, or on purpose!
Bacon: Just airing out the dirty laundry.
[Doug Bacon, GT and the Men in Black walk off. Frenck and McNeill are conferring at ringside.]
Chip: I'm told that SWF security, along with the Kold Blooded Killaz, are on their way up to
the rafters to pull Tom Pho up.
(Brian Frenck is motioning to the back.)
Chip: I'm being told that we're going to have a title match anyway!
Fool: What?
Chip: Evidently, Frenck and McNeill are sending one of the standby wrestlers out!
Jeff: Ladies and gentlemen, Tom Pho will be unable to wrestle tonight. President Frenck informs
me that Pho will receive an International Title match at a later date. But we WILL have an
International Title match here tonight!
(The crowd cheers this announcement.)
Chip: How about that? Pho will get another chance some other night!
Fool: Someone will attack him.
Jeff: Introducing the challenger!
("Rock of Ages" plays as the T.w.O. video appears on screen. The crowd boos. Jeff Ayres is
immediately pelted with a cup of ice.)
Jeff: From Wembley, England, weighing in at 220 pounds, here is Deaf Leopard!
(Deaf Leopard emerges to a universal roar of disapproval.)
Fool: Good thing there's a cage match later.
Chip: This crowd could riot.
(The bell rings. They lock up.
Sean McKenzie hits Deaf Leopard with a jack-knife power bomb.
Ryan Wilson counts: One, kickout.
Sean McKenzie complains about a slow count.
Deaf Leopard is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Deaf Leopard takes Sean McKenzie down with an inside cradle.
Ryan Wilson counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Chip: Oh! Near fall by Leopard! What an upset that would have been!
Fool: Can anything else happen tonight?
(Deaf Leopard hits a football tackle on Sean McKenzie.
Deaf Leopard executes a kneebreaker on Sean McKenzie.
Deaf Leopard is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Deaf Leopard whips Sean McKenzie into the ropes.
Deaf Leopard hits Sean McKenzie with a kick.
Deaf Leopard whips Sean McKenzie into the turnbuckle, but Sean McKenzie
reverses it.
Sean McKenzie chops Deaf Leopard.
A small "Sean McKenzie" chant is being started.)
Chip: A big chop by McKenzie. The winner of this match will defend the International Title
at Beach Brawl against Sven "The Icepick" Pieterson.
Fool: Come on, Duke! I want SOMEONE buying this pay-per-view!
(Deaf Leopard chops Sean McKenzie.
Deaf Leopard is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Deaf Leopard kicks Sean McKenzie.
Deaf Leopard is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Deaf Leopard hits Sean McKenzie.
The crowd is cheering on Deaf Leopard.
Deaf Leopard takes Sean McKenzie down with a short clothesline.
Deaf Leopard hits Sean McKenzie with a short clothesline.)
Chip: Deaf Leopard is getting in some offense. Also at Beach Brawl, we know we'll see Mr. Shhh
defending the World Title against Doug Bacon.
Fool: Yeah. Shhh's bodyguards helped attack Pho! Whassup with that?
(There are lots of chants for Deaf Leopard.
Deaf Leopard is going for the pin.
Ryan Wilson counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Deaf Leopard hits a forearm to the back on Sean McKenzie.
Deaf Leopard is going for the pin.
Ryan Wilson counts: One, two, kickout.)
Chip: Wow! Two more near falls there by Deaf Leopard!
Fool: Dammit, Sean! Beat his ass!
(Deaf Leopard complains about a slow count.
Sean McKenzie hits an inside cradle on Deaf Leopard.
Ryan Wilson counts: One, two, kickout.)
Chip: Near fall there by McKenzie. I wonder when Pho will get his title shot?
Fool: Well, he probably won't get it before the pay-per-view now.
(Sean McKenzie goes for a double underhook backbreaker, but Deaf Leopard
blocks it.
Deaf Leopard hits neck-scissors on Sean McKenzie.
Deaf Leopard goes for an earringer, but Sean McKenzie counters it with
a backdrop.
Sean McKenzie goes for a double reverse chinlock, but Deaf Leopard
counters it with a facerake.
Deaf Leopard goes for a short clothesline, but Sean McKenzie counters it with
a duck-down move.
Sean McKenzie uses a dragon suplex on Deaf Leopard.
Ryan Wilson counts: One, shoulder up.
The crowd is responding to Sean McKenzie.)
Chip: Dragon suplex and a near fall. We'll also see Sandman battle Mr. Meteorite #69.
Fool: That's a tough match to predict. It depends on the type of match Frenck chooses.
(Sean McKenzie whips Deaf Leopard into the turnbuckle, but Deaf Leopard
reverses it.
Deaf Leopard runs shoulder-first into the corner.
Sean McKenzie throws Deaf Leopard out of the ring.
Sean McKenzie goes through the ropes.
Sean McKenzie hits a choke slam on Deaf Leopard.
Sean McKenzie reenters the ring.)
Chip: Big choke slam on the floor!
Fool: That's what I'm talking about!
(Deaf Leopard follows him back in.
Sean McKenzie nails Deaf Leopard with a choke slam.
Sean McKenzie hits an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle on Deaf Leopard.
Ryan Wilson counts: One, two, kickout.
A small "Sean McKenzie" chant is being started.)
Chip: Deaf Leopard kicks out!
Fool: McKenzie's toying with him. Say, they've dragged Tom Pho back up to the catwalk.
(Sean McKenzie locks Deaf Leopard in an armlock hammerlock submission.
Deaf Leopard is struggling to reach the ropes.
Deaf Leopard reaches the ropes after being trapped for 18 seconds.
Deaf Leopard begs off.
Sean McKenzie hits Deaf Leopard with a European uppercut.
Sean McKenzie goes for a Gorilla Press, but Deaf Leopard blocks it.)
Chip: Yes, I'm happy to say that Tom Pho's no longer dangling over the ring.
Fool: Well, one more guy looking for a piece of Bacon. This fed's getting so predictable.
(Deaf Leopard runs into the ropes.
Sean McKenzie hits Deaf Leopard with a backdrop.
Sean McKenzie is going for the pin.
Ryan Wilson counts: One, two, kickout.)
Chip: I think this match is coming to a close.
Fool: No s[bleep]!
Chip: Hey!
(Sean McKenzie takes Deaf Leopard down with a European uppercut.
Sean McKenzie executes a brain buster on Deaf Leopard.
The crowd is responding to Sean McKenzie.
Sean McKenzie executes the Execution on Deaf Leopard.
Sean McKenzie has the crowd going wild.)
Chip: Execution!
Fool: Braveheart successfully defends the belt.
(Sean McKenzie goes for the pin.
Ryan Wilson counts: One, two, three.
A sack of rice, with the words "MIA" pinned to it, drops on Sean McKenzie, breaking over his
head and spilling rice everywhere.
The crowd erupts.)
Chip: Oh, my God! McKenzie wins, but the KBK nails him with a rice bag!
(Cut to the camera on the catwalk.)
Cholo: Foo'! You wasted the last one!
Chico: Aw, f[bleep]. Here come the pigs!
(The two run off as SWF Security chases them along the catwalk. We cut back to the action in
the ring.)
Jeff: Here is your winner, in 4:32, and STILL SWF International Champion, Sean "The Duke"
McKenzie!
(McKenzie, holding his head, raises his hand in victory. Deaf Leopard is still out. "Sons
of Scotland" plays in the background.)
Fool: Chip, this is the part where you say "Things aren't settled between Revolution and the
MIA!"
Chip: You're absolutely right! We'll get the ring cleared and fans, when we return, we'll see
Mr. Shhh battle The Saint in a steel cage! Fans, don't you go away!
------------------------------------
Voiceover: Everyone's ready.
(Clip of Sandman waving his pitchfork.)
Voiceover: The bags are packed.
(Clip of Kold Blooded Killaz hitting the Westside Connection on Madness.)
Voice: The cars are loaded.
(Clip of Sean McKenzie and Lady Jezebel passing out roses.)
Voice: The SWF is taking a roadtrip!
(A computer animated car with the SWF logo is rolling along a fake highway.)
Voice: It's the SWF "Reach the Beach" Tour! And it's coming to a city near
you!
(Clip of Mr. Meteorite #69 and Biggie Z walking down the aisle.)
Voice: It's the summer vacation YOU've been waiting for!
(Clip of Mr. Shhh hitting the Peacemaker, followed by the SWF logo.)
------------------
Chip: Welcome back to Triumphant Tuesday, as we continue on the SWF "Reach the Beach" tour.
Fool: I don't think we're anywhere near the beach, Chipper.
Chip: No, we're not. We'd like to thank all the folks at Hershey Park for their hospitality this weekend.
They've been great.
Fool: Best of all, they make Reese's Pieces. Kick ass stuff.
Chip: We've seen a number of bizarre happenings tonight. And it's not over yet.
Let's take it up to Jeff Ayres.
Jeff: The following match is set for one fall. It is a steel cage match, and it is our MAIN
EVENT!
(The crowd roars.)
Jeff: The only way to win this match is by pinfall or submission!
[The theme from "The Saint" starts to play.]
Jeff: Introducing first, from Havana, Cuba, weighing in at 240 pounds, here is The Saint!
[The fans watch for the entrance of the masked man known as The Saint. But there isn't one.
The Saint does not come out. The crowd is buzzing.]
Chip: Where's the Saint?
Fool: I don't know. But if he got crossways of Mr. Shhh, he might be hanging from the rafters.
Chip: We have heard so many rumors about the Saint, but all of them had him showing up for the cage
match. It was his idea, after all.
Jeff: And his opponent!
("Money" by Pink Floyd begins to play. The crowd gives a mixed reaction.)
Fool: I wonder if Mr. Shhh is going to come out!
Chip: He better. We have fifteen minutes to fill iuf he doesn't.
Fool: Yikes.
Jeff: Accompanied to the ring by Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones, and weighing 240 pounds.
From New York City, he is the SWF World Champion, Mr. Shhh!
Chip: The fans are ready for this match. We'll finally see Mr. Shhh confront The Saint...maybe.
Fool: At least Mr. Shhh is here!
(Mr. Shhh walks very slowly and calmly toward the cage with his two bodyguards, Mr. Jones and
Mr. Smith. White fireworks go off in the background, making a sound like gunfire.
The bodyguards help Mr. Shhh out of his trenchcoat outside the cage door. Mr. Shhh gets in.)
Chip: The World Heavyweight Champion is the first one in the cage.
Fool: What the hell happened to The Saint?
Chip: I think Mr.Shhh is looking for a microphone.
(The lights begin flickering.)
Fool: If I were Mr. Shhh, I'd leave the cage now.
Chip: But you're not. I think part of the reason Mr. Shhh took this match was to see how this would
all play out.
(The arena goes dark. Seconds later, we hear the cage door slammed shut.)
Fool: What was that!?
Chip: That's the cage door!
(Just then The Saint appears on The SWF Jumbotron. He's in his wrestling gear and he still has on his mask.)
The Saint: The day has arrived, Mr. Sheesh, but before I come out there and
give you the beating that you're most deservant of, I want to put all the
cards on the table.
(In the light reflected off the wall monitor, we see Mr. Shhh trying the cage door. It is locked. We see
an SWF Security man trying to unlock the door with a key.
The Saint: So here it goes. You might even know who I am,but here are
five clues to tell you for sure! First of all,I'm not The Saint. This
was all just a gimmick to get to you, and you must admit it succeded! But
you probably already knew that and that I have also wrestled here before!
Chip: This is getting weird.
Fool: Calm down. I know who the Saint is already.
Chip: You do!?
The Saint: Number four, Mr. Shhh, I am the man you hated the most.
Fool: See, it's Equalizer!
Chip: Wow! He's lost weight!
Fool: A coma will do that for you.
The Saint: Number three, I am the man who made your career what it is
today!
Chip: What if it's Pagan? He's about the same size as The Saint.
Fool: So what. They got the cage door unlocked.
(Indeed, the security man appears to have the cage door open. Mr. Shhh turns back to the monitor.)
The Saint: Number two. Mr.Shhh, you'll need to think on this one. I am the
last man to have beaten you and I did it in your own kinda match, remember?
Chip and Fool: WHAT?
Fool: It can't be!
(The security man is inside the cage. He closes and locks the door behind him. He is holding a chair.)
The Saint: Oh, and lastly...I'm a GANGSTA, The Original Gangsta!
(The lights flip back on. The security man, in baseball cap and sunglasses, is standing behind him,
holding a chair. Mr. Shhh turns quickly, but not quick enough, as the man gives him a running shot
to the head with the chair. The crowd is going wild, especially as the man takes off the cap and
sunglasses to reveal...)
Chip: It's the Original Gangsta!
Fool: I don't believe it. I didn't think the O.G. would ever be back! The whole Saint thing was a mind
game!
(The Original Gangsta picks up the prone Mr. Shhh and hit his finsher, the Gangsta's Paradise.)
Chip: Gangsta's Paradise! Mr. Shhh is out! And O.G. somehow has the keys to the cage!
Fool: This isn't a match! The referee isn't even inside the cage! This is just a beating!
(We see Mr. Smith and referee Chris Carroll, trying to open the locked cage door. Mr. Jones is climbing
the outside of the cage, trying to get in. Sean McKenzie is running down the aisle toward the cage.)
Chip: Here comes McKenzie to save his brother in...
(The lights go out. Again. Now the crowd is really going nuts. We see movement inside the cage.)
Fool: What's happening? What's going on in there?
(The lights come back on. Standing in the cage between Original Gangsta and the fallen Mr. Shhh is...)
Chip: IT'S PAGAN! PAGAN IS IN THE CAGE!
(Biggie Z is starting to climb out from under the ring. He has a table with him. David Storm, Brian
Christian and Mr. Meteorite #69 have jumped the railing from the crowd.)
Fool: It's the Flock!
(Biggie Z slides the table into the ring. Mr. Jones is being pulled down from the cage by David Storm.
McKenzie and Mr. Meteorite #69 are brawling in the aisle. Brian Christian is raking Mr. Smith across
the back. Pagan is standing over Mr. Shhh, paintbrushing him with slaps. The Original Gangsta points
at the ceiling. A rope ladder falls from the rafters, until it is just above the Original Gangsta.)
Chip: Who's up in the rafters?
(We go to the "catwalk cam", which shows Mr. Bone Breaker, O.G.'s long time manager, operating
a modified pulley system.)
(Doug Bacon and Gods Tears are charging down the aisle toward the ring.)
Chip: O.G. is bailing out!
Fool: He's gotta be pissed. He's been planning this for months, and now Pagan shows up to interrupt.
(Original Gangsta is climbing the rope ladder, while Mr. Bone Breaker pulls it up. Biggie Z is setting
up the table in the middle of the ring. Pagan turns and sees O.G. making his escape from the cage. He
turns to grab on to the rope ladder and stop O.G., when he is tackled from behind by Mr. Shhh, who
pulls him to ground and punches him. Biggie Z steps up, pulls Mr. Shhh off of Pagan and hits Mr. Shhh
with a...)
Chip: Jack-knife Power Bomb! The World Champ is power bombed in the center of the ring!
(We see Doug Bacon climbing the cage. God's Tears is pounding on the cage door. We see that Artful
Dodger has materialized and is also heading toward the cage.)
Fool: This is great! Reminds me of my graduation party at Delta House.
(Pagan and Biggie Z pull the unconscious Mr. Shhh over on top of the table. Doug Bacon is at the top
of the cage. Artful Dodger is at the cage door, fiddling with the lock.)
Chip: Don't tell me they're going to piledrive Mr. Shhh through a table!
(Biggie Z is helping Pagan, but leaves to go stop Bacon. Pagan hits the piledriver on Mr. Shhh, knocking
him through the table.)
Chip: This is incredible!
Fool: Don't look now, but Artful Dodger just picked the door open!
(Artful Dodger starts to pull the door open, then Gods Tears pulls it open the rest of the way and bursts into the ring.)
Chip: God's Tears is in the ring!
(God's Tears bursts into the cage. He grabs Pagan and pulls him off of Mr. Shhh. He tries to turn him
over for the Drunken Rage, but Pagan grabs on to the ropes.)
Fool: Well, here comes everyone to break this up.
(Several wrestlers break into the ring. David Storm and Brian Christian try to pull God's Tears off of
Pagan, while The Men in Black and Sean McKenzie tend to Mr. Shhh.)
Chip: God's Tears won't let go of Pagan!
(David Storm hits God's Tears with a piece of the broken table. Tears lets go of Pagan and puts David
Storm in the Drunken Rage. Brian Christian and Biggie Z hustle Pagan out of the cage.)
Chip: Well, the referees and SWF Security are trying to get everyone back in the locker rooms. We gotta
go!
Fool: Actually, Chip, we have about eight minutes left on the show, what with not having a match and all.
Chip: That's true. This match has been thrown out. Pagan and his men have left ringside, and the others
are helping Mr. Shhh to the back.
Fool: I hope the suits have something planned, 'cause this crowd is getting uglier than before.
Chip: Well, our producer, Pat McNeill, is on his way over here. And he's asking for the house mic to be
turned on. Pat, how are you?
Pat: Doing fine, Chip. Hello, Fool.
Fool: Olie the Goalie, my ass.
Chip: What announcement do you have for us?
Pat: Well, next week here on Triumphant Tuesday, our main event will be a two out of three falls tag team
match between two of the best teams in the league...
Fool: ...The Living Dead!
Pat: The Kold Blooded Killaz and The Thugz!
(The crowd cheers.)
Pat: And by the way, we ARE going to have a cage match tonight!
Fool: With what? More standby wrestlers?
Pat: Uh...I gotta go.
(McNeill leaves as referee Chris Carroll finally enters the cage.)
Chip: Well, let's see if our front office can get us out of this arena in one piece.
Jeff: The following contest is a pinfalls only cage match, set for one fall!
Fool: Ever get the feeling of deja vu?
["Uprising" by Damn Yankees starts to play.]
Jeff: Introducing first, from Newark, New Jersey, weighing in at 289
pounds, here is The Vigilante!!
[Police lights illuminate the arena. Vigilante makes his way down to
the ring. He slaps hands with a few of the fans. The crowd is throwing things at the suits and
the announcers.]
Fool: Come on! You got your money's worth in attacks! Doesn't that count?
Chip: This is bad.
Jeff: And his opponent...
("Planet Boom" by Tommy Lee starts to play.)
Chip: Is that who I think it is?
Jeff: Being led to the ring by his manager, Tarzan
Taborda, from Oeiras, Portugal, weighing in at 234 pounds, here is Axel
"The Hammer" Mate!!
Chip: Axel Mate is back! Axel Mate is back in the SWF!
Fool: Until his next career ending injury.
[Axel and Tarzan come out and stand on the platform. He poses as
fireworks criss-cross behind him. He then makes his way to the ring
slapping hands with some of the fans. The crowd is cheering him on.
Axel enters the cage while Tarzan stays on the outside of the cage as
the music dies out.]
Chip: The founder of the Triple Threat Kliq is back in the SWF! And we're set to go!
Fool: At least we had ONE surprise that didn't leak!
OOC: 8-)
(The bell rings. They lock up.
Axel Mate hits The Vigilante with an elbowsmash.
Axel Mate uses a bodyslam on The Vigilante.
Axel Mate whips The Vigilante into the ropes, but The Vigilante reverses it.
The Vigilante hits Axel Mate with a shoulderblock.
The Vigilante goes for an inverted power bomb, but Axel Mate blocks it.
Axel Mate uses a bodyslam on The Vigilante.
The Vigilante goes for a takeover suplex, but Axel Mate blocks it.)
Chip: The Hammer looks a little rusty.
Fool: Chip with the one liner! Way to go!
(Axel Mate goes for a back suplex, but The Vigilante blocks it.
The Vigilante nails Axel Mate with a short clothesline.
The Vigilante places Axel Mate on the turnbuckle.
The Vigilante executes the Vendetta on Axel Mate.
The crowd is responding to The Vigilante.
The Vigilante goes for the pin.)
Chip: Brainbuster from the top. Axel's comeback could be over soon!
(Chris Carroll counts: One, two, thr... kickout.)
Fool: Kickout by Axel! Who would've expected we'd ever see Axel and O.G. return on the same night?
(The Vigilante runs into the ropes.
The Vigilante goes for a Steinerline, but Axel Mate counters it with
a duck-down move.
The Vigilante hits an inverted power bomb on Axel Mate.
The crowd is cheering on The Vigilante.
The Vigilante whips Axel Mate into the ropes.
Axel Mate uses a clothesline on The Vigilante.
Axel Mate is going for the pin.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Chip: Mate rallies with a clothesline!
Fool: So, what's Axel gonna do! The Triple Therat Kliq is dead! Deader than Ol' Dead Eyes!
(Axel Mate hits The Vigilante with a bodyslam.
Axel Mate grinds The Vigilante's face across the cage.
Axel Mate uses a splash on The Vigilante.
Chris Carroll counts: One, kickout.
Axel Mate whips The Vigilante into the ropes, but The Vigilante reverses it.
The Vigilante executes a tilt-a-whirl suplex on Axel Mate.
The Vigilante is getting a good reaction from the crowd.)
Chip: Fans, send your complaint letters and Mafia friends to Tim Thorsen, c/o SWF, 1 Frenck Plaza,
Baltimore, Maryland.
Fool: He's going for another cover.
(The Vigilante is going for the pin.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Chip: A near fall. It's been some time since we've seen The Vigilante.
Fool: What's he won? One in a row now?
(The Vigilante attemps to place Axel Mate on the turnbuckle, but Axel Mate
blocks it.
The Vigilante punches Axel Mate.
The Vigilante is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
The Vigilante punches Axel Mate.
The Vigilante gets a double chickenwing submission on Axel Mate.
The Vigilante lets go after 11 seconds.
The Vigilante chops Axel Mate.
There are lots of chants for The Vigilante.)
Chip: Fans, don't forget SWF Around the World Thursday night in Toronto, as Pagan battles Fatal Fury.
Then, on Slaughterhouse, you'll see Gods Tears and Sandman in action.
(Axel Mate hits The Vigilante.
The crowd is cheering on Axel Mate.
Axel Mate punches The Vigilante.
Axel Mate is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Axel Mate nails The Vigilante with a back suplex.
The crowd is cheering on Axel Mate.)
Chip: Mate is a former IWF World Champion who made the successful transition to the SWF, making it
to the finals of the International Title Tournament in February.
Fool: Maybe we can get him a TV Title shot.
(Axel Mate rakes The Vigilante's face across the cage.
Axel Mate hits The Vigilante with a bodyslam.
Axel Mate nails The Vigilante with a fireman's carry.
Axel Mate whips The Vigilante into the turnbuckle, but The Vigilante
reverses it.
The Vigilante places Axel Mate on the turnbuckle.
The Vigilante executes a double underhook superplex on Axel Mate.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, shoulder up.)
Chip: Big superplex there by The Vigilante.
Fool: I don't think ol' Axel should've come back. This is no place for injured guys.
(There are lots of chants for The Vigilante.
The Vigilante executes a tilt-a-whirl suplex on Axel Mate.
The crowd is going crazy.
The Vigilante scrapes Axel Mate's face across the cage.
Axel Mate is busted wide open.
The Vigilante catches Axel Mate in a scorpion deathlock.
Axel Mate tries to escape the hold.
Axel Mate reaches the ropes after being trapped for 11 seconds.)
Chip: Vigilante using the cage to his advantage.
Fool: What was Axel thinking? He should have passed on the cage match.
(The Vigilante goes for a takeover suplex, but Axel Mate counters it with
a kneelift.
Axel Mate rakes The Vigilante's face across the cage.
Axel Mate goes for a bodyslam, but The Vigilante blocks it.
The Vigilante whips Axel Mate into the turnbuckle.
The Vigilante runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Axel Mate
moves out of the way.
The crowd is really behind Axel Mate.)
Chip: They love Axel Mate here in Pennsylvania!
Fool: Not as much as Hershey bars or rollercoasters.
(Axel Mate hits a clothesline on The Vigilante.
Axel Mate chops The Vigilante.
There are lots of chants for Axel Mate.
Axel Mate hits The Vigilante.
There are lots of chants for Axel Mate.
Axel Mate runs into the ropes.
The Vigilante misses with a clothesline.
Axel Mate misses with an elbow.)
Chip: This cage match is one of the toughest types of matches.
Fool: It's a lot tougher when the lights go off and a bunch of people attack you.
(Axel Mate and The Vigilante get hit with a double clothesline.
Axel Mate uses a reverse neckbreaker on The Vigilante.)
Chip: Axel Cutter!
Fool: He'll never get old Vig up for 9the Whack a Mole or whatever he calls it.
(The crowd is really behind Axel Mate.
Axel Mate attemps to place The Vigilante on the turnbuckle, but The Vigilante
blocks it.
Axel Mate executes the Hammer Whacker Drop on The Vigilante.
There are lots of chants for Axel Mate.)
Chip: Spinning piledriver by Axel Mate!
Fool: He hit it!
(Axel Mate goes for the pin.
Chris Carroll counts: One, two, three.
The crowd erupts.)
Chip: Axel Mate is back! Axel Mate is back!
Jeff: Here is your winner, in 5:16, Axel "The Hammer" Mate!
("Planet Boom" plays as Axel exits the cage. Tarzan Toborda congratulates him. Axel Mate calls
for the microphone.)
Fool: Looks like ol' Axel Grease has something to say.
Axel: CUT THE MUSIC!
(The fans pop.)
Axel: The last you heard from me...I was taking some time off because I
injured my arm pretty bad...
The doctors said I couldn't wrestle again! But you know me...nobody tells me what or when to do!
(The fans cheer)
Axel: The last time you heard from TTK...it had fallen apart! So this time I won't be thinking about
the TTK...I'll be doing it for me. Tiger Tom Pho...you did a hell of a job while you were in the
TTK...therefore, any time you need me...I'll be there!
(crowd cheers)
About that sleazy "so called" tag team that once was part of TTK....you
turned on us...and you turned on me, so....Kiss my Ass!
(crowd cheers)
Fool: These fans wiull cheer for anyone.
Axel: And now....one of the two reasons that brought me back to the SWF :
HARDROCK! (crowd boos)...or should i say..Biggie Z !...the only
thing big about you is that you're a big pain in the "you know what"...you
had everything going for you....you had a stellar career...you had
gold...you had a loving wife...the kids, the fans...you had everything!.....
and now what do ya have?...nothing.
You call yourself biggie z?....you ain't big.....you used to be big....now you
suck !
(The crowd starts a "Biggie Sucks" chant)
Axel: I trusted you....I gave you everything...I gave you TTK...I gave my friendship to ya....
you were like a brother to me...and you betrayed me!
Fool: Shut up!
(crowd boos)
Axel: While I was nursing my injury, your wife called me every single day to see how I was....and
when I wanted to talk to ya...you would tell her to tell me that you were
away...that you were taking care of some business !.. I should have known
better! You let me down, you let your family down, you let the Kliq
down!
(crowd cheers)
Remember, Biggie Z.......It is....(crowd repeats the words)...was...and
always will be....HAMMER TIME!
(The crowd roars.)
Chip: Fans, we have to go! We'll see you next week. Don't miss it!
Fool: Be there!
(We see Axel Mate celebrating with the fans as the shot fades.)
------------------
c) 1998 SWF Triumphant Tuesday
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