THE HITCH-HIKERS GUIDE TO THE SHADOWS

      (cast of characters)

      This is the first part of a really long (I hope) project to write an humorous "novel" set in the world of Shadowrun (the title is not definitive and is a tribute to Douglas Adams's Hitch-hikers guide to the galaxy (go buy these books now!)). I hope to be able to write a tiny part of the story every week (and no, I don't have the faintest idea regarding where the story's heading).

      But now, the characters you will learn to love and loathe, to respect and fear, to ignore and laugh at, to... well, you get the idea:

      Killer

      Nobody knows his real name and nobody cares. He's 6'2" tall, muscular and have more metal in him than flesh (which is a problem when he gets too near powerful magnets). He lost his memory a year ago and didn't care to find it or to make up a new one. He has the social talent of a hurt tiger and doesn't know the words subtle, plan or doxology. His only skills seem to be aimed only at hurting people, with the little exception of his capacity at driving a mortorcycle at incredible speed in the streets with the intent to go hurt somebody.

      Morty

      Morty's the rigger of the group and really loves his car and drones. He've got a couple of drones, with a couple of exclusive gadgets (which might or might not work) and an heavilly armored vehicle he calls Bob. Bob's have three inches thick armor (which, of course, doesn't look like armor), two miniguns, an auto-cannon all filled with armor-piercing ammo and the greatest autonav ever made by man which he won in a contest.

      Bob

      Morty's car. His autonav is actually so advanced that he is intelligent. The problem is that he is the only intelligent car in the whole world, fact that makes him feel pretty lonely and depressed. Really depressed. You really don't want a depressed car. He's actually the only car in the world to try to commit suicide but he only achieved to scratch his paint. He doesn't see any thrill in anything and think that every conceivable plan will uterly fail.

      Sledgehammer

      Sledgehammer is the dwarf decker of the group. The most important thing in is life is the Mighty-Fucci 2060 zxbw alpha-gamma cyberdeck of doom, or, as he calls it, "MY cyberdeck". If he ever had a social life he hid very well every proof of it, but what's sure is that now his best friend is his cyberdeck. Actually, of fear of losing it, Sledgehammer have a "magnetic limb" back with his dick having a metal plate on its side to stick it on his back. He never, ever, removes it from there if he's not decking (yes, he does bath with it, and no, he doesn't make love with it, he doesn't make love at all). Of course, the level of armor surrounding the thing is so thick that the deck weights almost 30 pounds.

      The last, but not the least:

      Tracy Green

      Tracy is a female troll hermetic mage (I hear two or three stereotypes falling to pieces already). She's tall, beautiful (for a troll anyway) and she's pretty good with spells. She can toss incredibly powerful bolts of magic at guards without even feeling a little dizzy, that is if she's not using her magic to improve her look (she's responsible for 50% of all uses of the "fashion" spell in all the UCAS). She's pretty good at conjuring too, she loves to conjure water then air elementals, so she can wash her hair, then then dry it.