By now, we all have seen that the WCW has invaded the WWF. Now if I can be serious for a minute...Why did the Acolytes give a heartfelt speech to the WWF B-Team(with such stars as K-Kwik, Haku and Al Snow hungry for tv time to display their non-talents) about protecting each other's backs, only to allow their employer(Vince Mcmahon) to get his butt kicked by WCW's main player(Booker T)???? Some employees, eh? How about them blocking every door, suposedly, but when Booker t comes out again, all of the B-team comes out the same entrance??? Were they taking a donut break or something?
Plot 'holes' such as this make the WCW/WWF angle look silly. For a change, it looks as though the WWF is trying to steal the nWo gimmick. In the process, they are forgetting what made the nWo so beleivable...the fear of an actual INVASION. I think, instead of Invasion, they should rename the next PPV WWF/WCW Assimilation. Of course, that's my opinion, I could be wrong...but I doubt it.
WWF/WCW Total Recall is brought to you by Jake "The Snake" Roberts and the D.O.A.(Drunk on Arrival) Foundation... Jake Roberts: Drinkin Hard, Downward Spiral!
And by Fans Against Goldberg... Fear the Spear....and keep your BACK to the wall!
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In what has to be considered WCW's last-ditch effort to bring ratings in(and consequently, Eric Bischoff's swan song), Hulk Hogan once again donned the Red and Yellow garb of his glory days during a recent Monday Nitro broadcast. What was turning out to be a decent program, suddenly shot straight to hell in a hand basket. As "American Made" blared through the arena, the wrestling world, along with the entire WCW locker room, groaned in disgust. Hulkamania was reborn, and every WCW employee from Sting down to Tony Schiavone were ordered to erase their memories of all the bs Hogan put them through the last 3 years. WCW superstar Booker T, who also happens to be carrying 275 pounds of dead weight(in the form of Stevie Ray), exclaimed "They demoted me to tag teams for this b@llsh$t, sucka!!"
Without going into detail, this new look/old look Hulkster seems to be getting a decent pop in arenas, though in my opinion, it may be spontaneous laughter. Hogan and Bischoff have somehow seen this transformation as some kind of trump card. Bischoff emphatically stated "The ratings war is ours! What can the WWF do, give Austin a blonde wig and more wrestling moves?? Then he would be a mid-carder who gets no respect, like Jeff Jarrett!"
Hogan, on the other hand, is counting his blessings until the day his pacemaker falters during an impromptu Hulk-up. He has decided to bring out a new line of merchandise. One of the more popular items is the new Hulka "F'n" mania T-shirt, which has "Enough is Enough" on the front, "and it's time for the 80's, BROTHA!!" on the back! As well, Hogan wants to catch up with the times and has modified his classic phrases to give them more Attitude. Now he says "I'm going to train, say my prayers, and kick your ass!" Looks like the invasion of the Stone Cold wanna-bes in WCW is closer than we expected! More on this situation as it develops!!!
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In a blockbuster announcement, Turner Enterprises and Titan Entertainment have agreed to put together a joint series of concert tours this summer, tentatively entitled Wrestle-Stock. With the recent musical success of WWF albums as well as the aspiring efforts of Konnan in WCW, both companies have sought to overexpose the music industry. In an interview with Eric Bischoff, the head of WCW stated that he would love to one day book himself over the rap industry's top draws although he has no talent base to draw from.
Not all the participants are as naive as Eric, however. Booker T, one of the most talented wrestlers in WCW, plans to perform with fellow brotha Mark "Mizark" Henry in an inter-federation display of U-N-I-T-Y. "When we get on the mic, we're gonna hit that ass like like a home-run in the ninth inning, now can you dig it, sucka!!!" stated Booker T.
Headlining the bill on the WCW side will be the recently repackaged VAN HAMMER, who looks to show the most promise. After 7 years of disappointment, his recent gimmick change seems to have gone over well with the younger wrestling fans. As well, his new song, "You Want Violence" has caught on fire in Newark, getting lots of air play on Hot 97 and other Hip-Hop stations. Yes, it seems as if Van Hammer may break off on his own after the joint concert series, as the rumored 'F!ck Peace' tour is closer to reality.
Other WCW performers include Konnan and his arch nemesis, the Rap is Crap crew, lead by 'Country Boy' Curt Henning. RIC will be performing what Tony Schiavone has labelled "The Greatest Monday Nitro Ev...oops, didn't mean to spoil NEXT WEEK'S episode!!"
In what has to be a MAJOR coup, the headliners of the WWF will be NU Ministry, with Notorious B.I.G., Big L, 2pac, and the leader of the NU Ministry, UNDER T. "We're some bad muthaf@@kas," was all we could get from Under T.
Other WWF performers include TOO COOL(formerly TOO MUCH), who will sing a cover of the Elton John/George Michael hit "Don't Let the SON GO DOWN On Me."
Other acts will be announced as they are signed. One thing's guaran-damn-teed, however. EDGE will be there....smiling.
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J.T. is no longer an aspiring wrestler, not after watching Tough Enough.
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Dear Jamie,
Hello, my name is Ben and you do not know me. I have viewed some of your films and I would like to know the person behind the act. I have mailed this letter to several adresses, because I do not know which one of you is the porno star.I would appreciate it if each of you mailed me back, telling me if you ARE or ARE NOT Jamie Summers the Porno Star.
Thank you very much Jamie,
Ben
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A while ago, some poor soul sent this letter to my hotmail account asking if I was the porno star he worshipped as a kid. Just so you know right now, the real Jamie Summers is in her 50's right about now. So, Ben, get your hand off your viagra-induced boyfriend and get a life, brother!
