What's Sampo, You Ask?

Sampo . . .
is found in the laughter of children.
is completely bio-degradable
has a heart of gold
is a registered trademark of absolutely noone
is user-friendly
is color-coordinated
won't stick to dentures
has the backing of the IRS, FBI, SEC, NCAA, DEA, and FDA.
won't be taken lightly
quenches thirst
is safer than driving a car
has 1/2 the calories, and is 99% fat free
is magically delicious
can't dance
is faster than a speeding bullet
goes well with any color wine
never asks for directions
is the cheesiest!
is squeezably soft
has the legs of a chicken
kills bacteria that causes bad breath
can't be seen by the naked eye
will not cause cancer
can be used to induce vomiting
gets jiggy with it
may cause drowsiness
is the mother of all sampos
never talks back
always satisfies
leaves a sticky film on you that won't rinse away

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