YOU MIGHT BE A GAMER IF...
...loosing your dice bag would be a serious financial blow.
...you could paper you bathroom in character sheets.
...you could paper your bathroom in different versions of just
ONE character.
...you have more entertaining "No-shit,-there-I-was-in-a-game"
stories than you do anecdotes about your family.
...you talk about your characters as if they are real people.
...you alternate between referring to your characters in the
first and the third person.
..when someone says "The blue books," you don't automatically picture
the kind that they give you during a college final exam.
...you've ever gotten into a screaming match over something that happened
in a game... (You are so dead! I am not dead!)
...you have a PhD in manipulating point systems to the best effect, even
though you failed high school geometry.
...you own your own weight in gaming books.
...you've ever designed your own character sheets.
...you have ever played a Dwarven character who did not have "axe" or
"beard" ANYWHERE in his or her name.
...you've ever tried to explain gaming to a school counselor, parent, or
other PW/OC (Person With/Out Clue).
...you've suceeded.
...your first response to any frustrating situation is, "I bash it with
my axe."
...you have more gaming books than the local hobby store.
...you've been gaming for more than half of your life.
...you still laugh when someone says "Hey, Dave, I think the barbarian
in the corner wants another beer."
...you tend to play characters as different from you in race, religion,
sex, sexual orientation, and what have you as possible, just to confuse
your friends.
...someone is attempting to explain the floorplan of a building to you
and you immediately start thinking in terms of 10X10 squares.
...your first though upon walking into a friend's domicile is to reflect
on where you'd put the machine-gun nest.
...Everything you see, hear, or taste translates into some form of stats
for a game.
..you've ever gotten wierd looks from other customers at places like
Denny's or IHOP because of the nature of your conversations.
..a friend of yours screws something up and you respond with, "looks
like you failed your _________ roll."
..you've ever argued against a combat rule based on your experience
in the SCA/Military/Police, etc.
...If your computer broke down, your biggest worry is how you'd print
out your character sheets.
...your character has more close friends than you do.
...you've bought a game even though you didn't like the genre or the
rules, so that you could fix the rules and convert them to a different
genre.
...you've looked into how much it would cost to build a castle
...your most important criteria for a mate is that they're a gamer, too.
...you've ever written a speech for your character to make just in case
he should find himself in such a situation.
...Your idea of a fun Friday night consists of getting the gang together
and playing for eight or more hours.
...The only reason you want a lake cabin is so you and the gang can go
up there and play non-stop all weekend without any distractions.
...You break your leg, but insist on using a 'Recovery Test' before
calling the ambulance.
...You have a list of what all the potions taste like.
..Your resume descrivbes you as a '5th-Level Civil Engineer'
...You have a nickname that makes no sense because one of your
characters had it.
...You've ever constructed yourself as a character.
...You've got more tables than all the restaurants in town.
...You know how to use dice as weapons.
...You use phrases like 'Save vs. Graduation or go insane for 1d4 days.'
...You know how many hit points every member of your family has.