L.A.F.F.S.

Ludicrous Action/Fast-n-Free System

Revision History:
Revised chart for rolling initial attributes 5-31-99
Added Optional Rule 2 5-21-99
Added Optional Rule 5-11-99

I know this happens to everyone, right? You're in the middle of the climatic confrontation in your RPG and someone describes the most hilarious action along with a ridiculously funny chain of events that sends the whole group into eye-watering laughter. Then the GM gains his composure and stops the fun, "No, seriously, what are you gonna do?"

Why's it always got to be "seriously"?

L.A.F.F.S. is a comedy RPG that borders on the absurd. Imagine a rag-tag band of bumbling elves rescuing a blonde, brain-dead hot babe of a princess from the castle of a fearful and flatulent tyrant. Maybe you'll want to rocket into the future with a spoof of your favorite sci-fi films-"May the spork be with you!" The setting and the story are up to the wildest imaginations of you and your friends. These rules for character generation and action resolution will merely help provide the laughs.

What do you need for the basic game?

Who's in charge of this fiasco?

Optional rules and some final things for BOSSes to remember

Return home.

What do you need for the basic game? (Return to contents)

A ten-sided die (Hereafter referred to as "the die")
Paper
Pencils
A few weird friends who don't mind blowing an entire afternoon with little to show for it

(Obviously, getting the die is going to be the hardest part.)

Who's in charge of this fiasco? (Return to contents)

The overall story in a L.A.F.F.S. adventure will be created and directed by the BOSS. The BOSS will control all of the characters in the adventure that don't belong to the other players.

Whatever the BOSS says goes. He has the final word on everything. Because of this almost unlimited power, choose a player to be the BOSS who is at least intelligent enough to know the difference between a good time and a six-hour lecture on the history of soap. If finding such a person is going to be difficult, stop now and break out the Monopoly game.

Though the BOSS should always play fair, he can make new rules, change these rules or do anything else as long as it's for the better of the adventure at hand.

By the way, the rest of these rules are written to him-the BOSS. He's really the only one who needs to know all of this stuff to play.

How do players get characters for a game? (Return to contents)

Well, first of all, you should describe the general setting for the adventure you've planned and perhaps list a few character types players might choose from to fit this setting. Once players have chosen a character type (dwarf, secret agent, neo-galxcilian hermophapod...whatever), they must choose a name for the character and write it on a Character Sheet. They can will now begin defining the character by his or her attributes.

The three Attributes:

The three attributes of L.A.F.F.S. are Moves, Brains and Personality. Each attribute will have a value from 1-10 (1 is bad). They define the characters in the following ways:

Moves - The physical abilities of the character are modeled by this attribute. Coordination and even strength are represented by this value.
Brains - This attribute refers to the character's intelligence. It could be used if the character needs to think of something, perceive something through the senses or pass some sort of mental test.
Personality - A character's ability to relate to others is represented by this attribute. It could, for example, be used to see if a character can convince another to do something or whether or not two people like each other when they meet. If a character wanted to do something "out of character" the BOSS might use the Personality attribute to see if it would actually be carried out.

Generating the character:

Each player must roll the die and to determine his character's attributes:

Roll	Attribute Rating
1 or 2	Choose any two attributes to be "6"'s and the other one is "5"
3,4 or 5	Moves is "7" and the other two are "5"'s.
6,7 or 8	Brains is "7" and the other two are "5"'s.
9 or 10	Personality is "7" and the other two are "5"'s.

Next, each player can choose to raise the higher attribute (or one of them if there are two), up one more point and lower one of the other attributes by a point. For example, if Max the Wonder Ninja has Personality of "7", the player may choose to move the value up to "8" and lower Max's Movesdown to "4". As you can see, characters in L.A.F.F.S. usually excel in only one area.

If you chose, you can allow players to pick a single skill for their characters. A skill would be something specific the character is good at. When the character attempts it, he or she gets an extra point added to the related attribute. For example, if Charlene the Human She-Wolf has a unique ability to peer into the minds of those in her midst, she could add "1" to whatever her Brains is when she uses this power. Players should try to come up with off-the-wall skills for your characters. I won't insult anyone's imagination by listing examples.

Foibles:

Now it's time for the Foibles. These guys have problems! How many? Each player again should roll the die and use this chart to determine the number of Foibles for his character:

Roll	Number of Foibles
1-4	1
5-8	2
9 or 10	3

Players must roll the die again, once for each Foible his character has. Use this chart to determine the Foible, then record it on your Character Sheet:

Roll	Foible
1	Repeats annoying phrase
2	Overly Jolly
3	Constantly complains
4	Lisp
5	Spits when talking
6	Forgetful
7	Paranoid
8	Gas
9	Bad breath
10	Body odor

Note that if a player rolls the same Foible twice, you may choose to let him re-roll or simply make the Foible twice as bad for the character.

Players may chose weapons and other equipment as fitting for the adventure. This is all up to you as the BOSS.

At this point, each player should have a very good idea of the make-up of character. A quick sketch of the character may be added to the Character Sheet to help everyone visualize the catastrophe about to take place.

How do characters carry out actions? (Return to contents)

L.A.F.F.S. is supposed to be "Fast-n-Free". This means, light on rules, heavy on role playing. Also, since the game is meant to be funny, witty one liners and any other dialogue is encouraged over combat or other physical actions. Players must talk like their characters would talk whenever there is an opportunity. They must stay in character! If possible (and I leave the extent of this up to the desires and courtesy of each particular gaming group) they should include the characters' Foibles when they role play scenes.

Much of the time, a character will do whatever the player tells you his character wants to do. As the BOSS, you can simply fill them in on the important repercussions or other aspects of the story accordingly.

If a player wants to do something that you feel might have an uncertain outcome, however, you can have the player make and Attribute Check.

Attribute Checks:

First, you must chose one of the three attributes that is related most closely to the action in question. For example, if Carl the Brave is going to swing across a deep ravine, the Moves attribute would come into play. The BOSS, then, would tell the player to make a "Moves Check".

The player simply rolls the die and compares it to the character's attribute rating. If it's less than or equal to the rating, then the action is successful.

As always, it's up to you to interpret the roll further. For example, if Carl's Moves is "5" and he rolls a "5", he probably barely made it across. A roll of "2", however, would most likely mean he performed the action with extraordinary skill. Likewise, failed rolls are relative too. All roll interpretation is up to the BOSS.

Remember that as far as attribute checks go, you are always free to use the die in any way you choose. Opposed rolls may be used (two players roll and compare values) or perhaps you will choose to roll for a player if the player/character would be unaware of the success or failure of the action. Of course, if you decide it's necessary, the die may not even need to be used. You can simply compare attribute ratings. How's it feel to be so powerful?

Modified Checks:

You may choose to make a player roll a modified check for some actions. For instance, if a character is carrying a lot of weight going up a hill, he or she might have to make Moves checks at "-1". In other words, one point is subtracted from the character's Moves attribute. Likewise, if an action would be easier for some reason, you may let the player add a point to the attribute.

It's suggested you keep this whole process simple and moving quickly. If you've just got to have more details, however, here you go. An action that requires no modifier is essentially an action that the "average" person could do about 50% of the time. Now, if you think the action the character wants to do would only be able to be done by the average person only 30% of the time, then you should lower the chances of success by 20% (50% - 30%). This translates to a "-2" modified attribute check (+ or - 1 for each 10%).

Some words on Combat:

I hope it's clear by now, but combat shouldn't be the main focus of this game. It's an essential part of RPGs, however, so it's inevitable that it will show up. Here's a few guidelines.

Play combat out in turns. Each turn should represent about five seconds of game time. Each character will get a chance to do something each turn unless they are dazed (see below). The order action is carried out is up to you. Usually the players' characters will carry out their actions before any characters you're controlling make their moves.
Use a map sketched on paper for any combat sequence. Players can use any type of tokens or even just mark the paper to represent where they are standing in the area.

How are effects of the actions carried out? (Return to contents)

This is a comedy game, so there better be some funny effects right? The following rules will allow you to incorporate some slapstick and hilarious chains of events into your adventures.

Characters getting hit or shot in a combat situation:

First of all, remember, that it's unlikely characters will die in L.A.F.F.S.. Usually the only time a character will die is when the player has to leave the game due to some unforeseen emergency or because he can no longer respect himself for playing. Have fun with the character's demise if this be the case. Otherwise, a struck character will usually be "dazed" to some extent.

Dazed characters lose control over their actions for a turn or so. As always, this length of time is up to you. Base it on whatever has happened to daze the character. In this dazed state, the character may stumble in a random direction thus causing some degree of pandemonium within his or her surroundings. If you want, roll a die for direction:

Roll	Direction
1 or 2	Spin in place
3 or 4	Forward
5 or 6	Backward
7 or 8	Right
9 or 10	Left

Of course, the character can't take a beating forever. If a dazed character is struck again, he should probably just slump over and lie there awhile.

Often a weapon will be used on the character that would wound rather than stun. In this case you should have the blow strike the character in some less than deadly body part with a severity consistent with the attacker's roll. Then the character can just yelp in pain and remain mostly harmless for a time. The random direction chart above can be used for a character so maimed as well.

As a general rule, maintain the comic feel by keeping all damage less than would actually occur had the painful event really occurred. This is especially true if the characters get in a bit of a Three-Stooges-like slapping contest. It's rumored some BOSSes even encourage this type of thing. Geez.

Failed attacks:

When a character fails at hitting another character, whether with fists or some weapon, something else should get hit instead. As always, make it consistent with how badly the roll failed. Maybe it will just get some laughs, maybe it will put the whole mission in jeopardy.

A misfired weapon can have a random result based on this chart. If the player rolls really bad when trying to hit the target, he may be asked to roll more than once using the chart to experience multiple ill effects.

Roll	Result
1	Enemy laughs in your face
2	Friends and enemies alike laugh in your face
3	Stand perplexed for one turn
4	Weapon flies out of your hand
5	You stumble and fall in a random direction
6	Some other object is hit
7	Some rather important object is hit
8	A friend is hit
9	Your weapon busts into several pieces
10	One of your own body parts is hit

Feel free to modify these lists or simply make up your own comic effects on the spot. It's really all up to you in the end.

Optional rules and some final things for BOSSes to remember (Return to contents)

Optional Rule 1: If a character does something selfless, heroic or otherwise brilliant, you may choose to give the player one or more "Happy Points". Happy Points can be traded in to allow the player to re-roll the die at any point, improve the character's attributes (permantly or temporarily) or otherwise help the character out during an adventure.
Optional Rule 2: When fighting some foes-usually at the climatic scenes-you may choose to give the enemy some Hit Points. Each time another character successfully strikes the enemy, these Hit Points go down by the formula: Attacker's Moves - Roll. As the Hit Points go down, you may choose to lessen the Attribute ratings. Of course, when they reach "0" the character should die or go unconcious.
You play the part of any character in the adventure that's not run by one of the players. Stay in character when they converse.
Adjust the adventure to fit the abilities (or lack thereof) of the characters. Give opportunities to use even the most apparently useless skills in heroic ways. Provide other characters along the way to help if the merry band will be seriously lacking in ability.
Decide beforehand just how absurd you're willing to go in your setting/adventure. How do the laws of physics behave, for example? Will characters survive after being smashed like an accordian or hover in the air a few seconds before falling hundreds of feet? Perhaps you'll want it a little more realistic, yet silly like a Mel Brooks film. Keep it consistent, however, so characters can have at least some idea of what to expect.
Don't always let a player think for his character, especially if his character is a total dunce. Have him make a Brains check to see if the character could actually think of the idea the player suggests!
Leave space between the action for no other reason than to let these characters talk. Give them matters to ponder or situations to argue about-all in character of course. This aspect of hilarious character interaction is unique to L.A.F.F.S..
Don't limit characters just because they are changing the direction of your story.
Never forget that the ultimate goal is for everyone to have fun!

(Return to contents)

Return to New World Games.

This page was last updated May 31, 1999.