(Pokemon "Last episode" music starts playing)
Horribly Dubbed Female Narrator: Last episode on Pokemon,
Valerie had to answer a cunning set of riddles, so that she could
battle and defeat the fiery gym master, Blaine, and earn a volcano badge...
(For your information, Valerie has long brown hair, a red sash, brown shirt, and a blue dress.
She's not exactly very fashion aware...)
Ugly Troll-like Hag (in scraggly voice): What... is your name?
Valerie: Valerie Dhere, apprentice to the great pokemon researcher, Profesor Oak!
Ugly Troll-like Hag: What... is thy quest?
Valerie: I seek to capture and compile data on all one hundred and fifty pokemon!
Ugly Troll-like Hag: What... is the capital of Ugaschmalooga?
Valerie: What!?!? I don't know that!
(A huge spring pops up under Valerie)
Valerie: AIEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Valerie is sent flying off Cinabar Island and into the sea)
Horribly Dubbed Female Narrator: After finally defeating Blaine and earning a
volcano badge, Valerie is now off Cinnabar and searching for the location of the final
eighth badge. But Team Rocket has something else in mind...
(In Valerie's voice, which is almost as corny as Ash's when he says the name of the episode...)
POKEMON
A ROCKET REUNION!
Valerie: Well, PsiDuck, do you have any idea where I can get an earth badge?
FarFetch'd: Psi?
Valerie: Never mind. Maybe I can ask Profesor Oak.
(Valerie turns on the telephone PC)
Professor Oak: Ah! Valerie! How are things going?
Valerie: Great, Professor Oak! I just earned my seventh badge!
(Valerie displays her sash, which has seven badges on it)
Professor Oak: That's good! Now you've finally caught up with my grandson! He got his seventh
badge only two days ago!
Valerie: WHAT!?!?!? ARRGH! GARY! Well, I bet he didn't catch SEVENTY POKEMON like I did!
Professor Oak: No, he did not.
Valerie: Ha!
Professor Oak: He caught eighty.
(Valerie screams and falls down)
FarFetch'd: Psi yai yai!
Professor Oak: I wouldn't worry about it. You're ahead of your other two rivals.
Valerie: I DON'T CARE ABOUT MY OTHER TWO RIVALS! They're probably no-name insignificant
losers who never actually appear in the storyline and are only mentioned from time-to-time.
Professor Oak: Well, calm down. I'm sure you'll do fine. Bye!
Valerie: Grr.... Gary......
FarFetch'd: Psi?
Valerie: Don't worry about it, PsiDuck. I'm just mad, because he still has my first pokemon.
I should never have accepted that stupid challenge he gave me. WAAH! I miss my
(Watching from the nearby bushes)
Growlithe: Woof... I mean, Growlithe?
(Growlithe sniffs the bushes and lifts its leg)
Jeff: Shoo, dumb dog!
(Jeff, a team rocket member who wears black pants and a black jacket with TR inscribed in it and
has bizarre purple hair, pushes the growlithe away)
(Jeanine, a 12 year old team rocket member with a cute yellow scrunchy, hair bobs, black team
rocket shirt, and jet black hair, sticks her head out of the bushes)
Jeanine: Well? What do you think? Do you think we'll finally nab some of those rare pokemon?
Jeff: Shh! I'll have to think of a plan.
Mr. Mime: But... w... what if your plan doesn't work? L...like last time?
Jeff: Quiet! My plans are the best! Now you'd better watch it or I'll throw you in the BOX
again!
Mr. Mime: Oh dear!
Jeanine: Hey, what's that sound?
(Jeanine sneaks over to the bushes next door)
(Laughter is heard from the bushes)
James: Eeehee hee! Now we will finally get that pikachu!
Jesse: Our latest plan is foolproof!
Meowth: I wonder if these fools will be able to pull it off?
Jesse: WHAT?
Jeanine: Hey, Jeff, we have some interesting next door neighbors.
Jeff: Hmm?
(Jeff peers over the bushes)
Jesse: This nasty little little spring trap that we nabbed from Cinnabar Island will send
Pikachu sky high!
James: Where he'll fly right into our special insulated rubber balloon!
Jesse: Which will bounce him back down near the lake!
James: Where he'll land in the ultimate best greatest weapon we've ever devised!
Jesse and James: THE FISHING NET!
Meowth: Not the fishing net again! And who are you talking to? I already know the plan!
Jesse: Be quiet, you lousy excuse for a pokemon! You wouldn't know a great plan if it bopped
you on the head!
Jeff: Trainer Jim? Chaining Jesse?
James: I know that voice!
Jesse: Is that...
(Jesse and James glare at Jeff)
Jesse and James: Bikehorn Jeff!
Jeff: Jim, you were the only one in our group who needed trainer wheels while biking!
(Flashback of James riding a bicycle with training wheels and laughing maniacally)
Jeff: And Jesse, you always swung a chain around while you biked!
(Flashback of Jesse riding a bicycle while swinging a chain and maniacally laughing)
James: And Jeff, you always tooted your bikehorn whenever you were biking!
(Flashback of Jeff riding his bike while tooting the bikehorn and laughing maniacally)
Jesse, James, and Jeff: Yeah, we're BAD TO THE BONE!
Meowth: I did NOT need to hear that stupid bike story again.
Jeff: So, how's everything going on in Team Rocket?
Jesse: We're doing great! We're doing so well that the boss assigned his fav pokemon to us!
Meowth: Whad'ya mean? He assigned YOU to ME!
Jeff: Aw, you're lucky. The boss assigned me to deal with his annoying pokemon because he
felt that I could "handle" it.
Mr. Mime: Annoying?!? H... hey!
Jeanine: Um... Jeff?
Jeff: Anyway, what brings you here?
Jeanine: Jeff!
Jeff: Quiet! I'm trying to catch up with some old friends!
James: Who's the brat?
Jeff: Oh, that's the daughter of someone from the boss's old gym. She found out about Team
Rocket, so in order to keep her quiet we had to let her join. The boss put me in charge of
keeping her out of trouble.
Jesse: Did you say trouble?
James: Is it double?
Jesse: ooooooooo! To protect the wor...
Jeanine: JEFF!
Jeff: WHAT?!?
Jeanine: Don't you think we should be going after those rare pokemon?
Jeff: Bah. I'll just give the boss some excuse that we failed again.
Mr. Mime: I d... don't think that's s... such a good idea!
Jeff: OH NO! Mr. Mime, you're trapped in a box!
Mr. Mime: I am?!? AAAAAAAAAH! HELP!
(Mr. Mime "feels" around the walls of his invisible box)
Mr. Mime: OH NOOOOOOOO! SAVE ME! I'm claustrophobic! I... I can't get out!
(Mr. Mime tries to find the exit to the "box" that he's trapped in)
Jeff: Hey, how is your pokemon training going? How about we have a just-for-fun battle, for
old times's sake.
James: Well...
Jesse: We're kind of busy... but sure! Why not?
Jeff: Great! Let's have each of us use one pokemon!
James: Goooo, WEEZING!
(James throws his pokeball and Weezing comes out)
Weezing: Weezing!
Jesse: Go, Arbok!
(Jesse throws her pokeball and Arbok comes out)
Arbok: ArBOK!
Jeff: Hmm.... you're using you're original pokemon? Well, at least they evolved.
Jesse: Hey, don't blame us!
James: Yeah, every pokemon we caught, we had to give to the boss!
Jesse: We gave up trying to catch pokemon after our 150th pokemon.
Jeff: Hmm. Same here. Well, my pokemon evolved too, so...
Jeff: Come, Muk!
(Jeff throws his pokeball and Muk comes out)
Muk: MUUUUK!
Jeanine: Oh man, this place is REALLY going to stink by the time this battle is over. What's
with the poison pokemon infatuation?
Jesse, James, and Jeff: BE QUIET!
Jeanine: Whatever. Get them, Jynx!
(Jeanine throws her pokeball and Jynx comes out)
Jynx (very seductively): WooooOOOOOoooooOoooHooooOooooOOOO
James: AAAAAAAAAH!
(James jumps on Jesse)
James: It's EVIL! EVIL EVIL EVIL! KILL IT! KILL IT! Send it back to hell from whence it came!
Jesse: Get off me!
Censor: HEY! No saying hell in a kid's show!
Jeff: ACK! Where the heck did she get that thing, anyway? Yeesh. Oh well, let's go!
(Jynx glares at Mr. Mime)
Jynx (provacatively): Yoooohooooooo!
Mr. Mime: EEEEEEEEEEEK!
Jeanine: Jynx! Stop that! We have to beat these two!
Jeff: Here goes!
(Fast "Gym trainer TV show version" music)
Jesse: Arbok! Wrap attack!
Arbok: ArBOOOK!
Jeff: Muk! Acid armour!
Muk: MUUUUUUK!
(Muk solidifies and turns really shiny)
(Arbok grabs Muk and tries to squeeze it but can't because of the acid armour)
Jeanine: Jynx! Get it off him! Ice punch!
Jynx: EEEEEEOOOOOH!
(Jynx punches Arbok off Muk)
James: Weezing! Sludge attack!
Weezing: WEEZING....
(Weezing spits out sludge that slams into Jynx)
Jesse: Arbok! Dig! Now!
(Arbok digs into the ground)
(Jynx wipes off the sludge)
Jeff: Muk! Counter with your own sludge!
(Muk spits out sludge, but Weezing dodges it and it slams into James)
James: AAAAAAAH!
Jeanine: Jynx! Finish it off! BLIZZARD!
Jynx: WOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Jynx waves its hands and a blizzard freezes Weezing, Jesse, and James)
James: AAAAAAAAH! That's it! I can't take it! Weezing! EXPLODE!
Weezing: WEEZING!
(Weezing flashes, and there is a HUGE explosion)
(The dust slowly settles)
Jeff: Ow.....
James: Yeeeeep...
Jesse: Oooh, my head....
Jeanine: Did someone get the license number of that hand grenade?
(Jesse slowly turns and looks at the unconcious Jynx and Muk)
Jesse: ......
(Jesse falls down again)
(Arbok pops out of the ground)
Arbok: ?
(Jesse slowly looks at Arbok)
(Jesse quickly gets up)
Jesse: Hooray! We won!
(Two koffings hop over and slam into each other, merging back into Weezing)
Weezing: WEEZING!
James: Woohoo!
(James jumps up)
Jeff: Bah! You were just lucky!
Jesse: You're just jealous because we beat you!
James: Yeah! We still got it!
Jeff: Hmph. Well, if you think you're so good, then maybe you'll be able to get those blasted
rare pokemon that that girl has.
James: Rare pokemon?
Jesse: OH! This could get us on the good side of the boss!
Meowth: And I'll be top cat again!
Jeanine: Whatever.
(Pokemon commercial music)
(A silouette of Arbok appears)
Bunch of kids: WHO'S THAT POKEMON??
POKEMON!
Colonel: These days, everyone is trying to catch dem PO KE MON. But now, here at Ohio Fried
Turkey, you can catch all those wonderful pokemon in bean bag form! We have Arbok, Weezing,
Muk, Nidoking, and Nidoqueen! But you'd best hurry if you wanna catch them all! I might even
start my own collection!
Kid: Mommy! These pokemon beanie babies smell!
HAIRBIES!
Kid: OH, they're so cute!
Hairbie: Hello.
Put them together and they talk to each other!
Hairbie1: Hairy....
Hairbie2: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiirryyyy........
Raise them yourself
Kid: Aw... time for your bed time story, Hairbie.
Hairbie: Me love you.
Yes! Hairbies! The best virtual pet ever! From the makers of Tomagotchya!
(Pokemon commercial music)
Kids: IT'S ARBOK!
(Arbok shadow fades to reveal Arbok)
Arbok: ArBOOK!
POKEMON!
James: What kind of rare pokemon does she have anyway?
Jeff: Her pokemon are so rare that they're extinct!
Jesse: Huh? Come again?
Jeff: I don't know how she did it, but she revived some fossils and now has what once was
extinct pokemon!
James: Well, we have to get that!
Jeff: Fine! There she is right now. I'll challenge her to a pokemon battle so we can
fight for her Omanyte.
Meowth: Pokemon battle? Why don't you just nab the thing?
Jeff: Huh?
Jesse: What the heck? Pokemon battle? You should think of some clever plan or something!
James: And catch that omanyte with something like..... a fishing net!
Jeff: Hmm... kidnap pokemon... never thought of that before.
Jesse, James, and Meowth: .........
Jeff: But it's a matter of principle! I'm sick and tired of being beaten by her in pokemon
matches! I must win for once!
Jesse: How many times did she defeat you?
Jeff: ...... three.....
(Jesse and James look at each other, then burst out laughing)
Jesse: YOU LOST THREE WHOLE TIMES?!? AH HA HA HA HA!
James: THAT'S ALMOST ONE-TENTH THE AMOUNT OF TIMES WE LOST! AH HA HA HA HA HA!
Jeff: ........ OH YEAH?!? Well, I can still beat you! Come on, losers! Pokemon battle NOW!
James: HA! GO, WEEZING!
(James throws pokeball and Weezing comes)
Weezing: Weezing!
Jesse: Arbok, GO!
(Jesse throws pokeball and Arbok comes)
Arbok: ArBOK!
Mr. Mime: AGAIN?!? Are you sure you should be do....
Jeff: BOX!
Mr. Mime: OH MY GOD!
(Mr. Mime starts feeling the walls of his box)
Jeff: Come, Muk!
(Jeff throws pokeball and Muk comes out)
Muk: MUK!
Jeanine: Get 'em, Jynx!
(Jeanine throws pokeball and Jynx comes out)
Jynx: EEEEEEE!
(Fast "Gym trainer TV show version" music)
James: Weezing! Smokescreen now!
Weezing: Weezing!
(Weezing smokes the area)
Jeff: ACK! Muk! Minimize!
(Muk shrinks)
Jesse: Arbok! Wrap attack now!
Arbok: ARBOK!
(Arbok wraps around Jynx)
Jynx: OOOOOOOOOoooo...
(Jynx smiles and kisses Arbok with its big fat lips)
(Swirly lines appear in Arbok's eyes. Arbok faints)
(Quick flash of a shocked Jesse)
James: Where's Muk?
Weezing: ?
Jeff: MUK! Pound attack!
(A huge hand emerges from a little dot and crushes Weezing)
Weezing: WEEZING!
(Weezing slams into the floor)
Jeff: HA! Now who's the loser?
James: Hey!
Meowth: You morons! The girl got away!
Jeff: ARGH! After her!
(Jeff, Jesse, James, Jeanine, Mr. Mime, and Meowth quickly run up to Valerie)
Valerie: Oh, hey!
FarFetch'd: Psi... Duck?
Valerie: It's Team Rocket again! You want another pokemon battle, huh?
James: Let us take care of this!
(Flash and spotlight. Team Rocket shock music)
Jesse: Prepare for trouble!
James: Make it double!
Jesse: To protect the world from devastation,
James: To unite all peoples within our nation,
Jesse: To denounce the evils of truth and love,
James: To extend our reach to the stars above,
Jesse: Jesse!
James: James!
Jesse: Team Rocket, blasts off at the speed of light!
James: Surrender now or prepare to fight!
Meowth: Meowth! That's right!
(Jeff stares at Jesse and James)
Jeff: What the HECK was THAT?!?
Jesse: That's our motto!
James: Isn't it thrifty?
Meowth: I still think we need a new one.
Jeff: Seems pointless to me.
Jeanine: WAAAAAAH! I want a model too!
Jeff: We don't have time for a motto!
Jeanine: But I want one! I wanna model!
Jeff: NO!
Jeanine: YES!
Jeff: ALRIGHT! FINE! I'll write up a motto for us to use in the next episode.
Jeanine: Woohoo! We're gonna get a model!
Jeff: Whatever.
Valerie: You done yet?
FarFetch'd: Psi yai yai.
James: OH NO! It's a psiduck! We don't stand a chance! Remember what that girl's psiduck did?
Jesse: Ulp...
James: I have to admit though, this psiduck sure looks.... wierd.
FarFetche'd: Psi?
Valerie: So, what are the terms of your pokemon match?
Jesse: Oh! It'll be a two pokemon battle.
James: Go, Weezing!
Jesse: Arbok!
(Weezing and Arbok pop out)
Valerie: Fine! I'll choose...
James: Weezing! Sludge attack!
Weezing: WEEZING!
(Weezing spits out sludge that slams into Valerie, sending her flying)
Jesse: Arbok! Wrap attack!
(Arbok grabs Valerie)
(Jesse and James quickly grab all of Valerie's pokeballs and run away)
Jeff: Oooook, that was unexpected.
James: When we said "Two pokemon battle,"
Jesse: We meant only OUR two pokemon!
Meowth: So... now what?
Jesse: Let's see what we caught!
(Jesse and James throw six pokeballs)
(an omanyte, kabutops, aerodactyl, dragonite, rhydon, and snorlax pop out)
Jesse: OH WOW!
James: I've never seen that many rare pokemon in my life!
Jesse: HA HA HA! The boss will surely give us a raise for this!
(Jesse and James grab each other and start dancing)
Jesse, James, and Meowth: We're gonna get a raaaise! We're gonna get a raaaise!
Jeff: I can't believe that I was outdone by them!
Jeanine: Um... I don't think those pokemon are very happy that they were separated from their
masters....
(Team Rocket looks at the angry omanyte, kabutops, aerodactyl, dragonite, rhydon, and snorlax)
Jesse: Ulp....
James: Weezing! Defend us!
Jesse: Arbok!
Jeff: Muk!
Jeanine: Jynx!
(All four pokemon pop out)
Arbok: Arbok!
Weezing: Weezing!
Muk: Muk!
Jynx: LA LA LA...
(Arbok, Weezing, Muk, and Jynx look at the really angry pokemon and get really scared)
(The six rare pokemon charge, run over Arbok, Weezing, Muk, and Jynx, and slam into Jeff,
Jesse, Jeanine, James, Meowth, and Mr. Mime, sending them flying)
Team Rocket: WAAAAAAAH! Team Rocket's blasting off again!
(Meanwhile...)
Valerie: NOOOOOooooo... I lost all of my rarest pokemon!
FarFetch'd: Psi?
Valerie: Sniff... it's ok... PsiDuck... but I loved those pokemon!
(Jazzy rock music)
Valerie: Huh?
Voice: HAVE NO FEAR! THE GREATEST POKEMON MASTER, GARY, IS HERE!
(Gary's convertable drives up with Gary proudly standing in it)
Gary's Gals: Gary, Gary, he's our man! If he can't do it, no one can!
Valerie: Oh no...
Gary: Well well, if it isn't Valerie! Just remember, second place simply means the FIRST LOSER!
Valerie: ............
(Valerie gets really teary eyed)
Gary: Ha ha ha! Well, I'll be off, now, so.... huh?
(Valerie bursts out crying)
Valerie: IT'S NOT FAIR!!! ALL OF MY BEST POKEMON WERE STOLEN FROM ME! IT'S NOT FAIR! AND
NOW YOU'RE RUBBING IT IN AND REMINDING ME ABOUT HOW INCOMPETANT I AM AND HOW I'M SUCH A LOSER!
I CAN'T TAKE IT! IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU TOOK MY VERY FIRST POKEMON FROM ME WHEN YOU BEAT ME
IN THAT MATCH! NOW I HAVE NOTHING! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(All of Gary's fan club gets really teary eyed)
Gary's gals: Waaaaaah! That's so sad!
Gary: Whoa! Sheesh! Alright already, stop it! I'll help you get your pokemon back!
(Valerie slowly stops crying)
Valerie: Really?
Gary: Um... yeah, sure.
Gary's gals: Ooooh! Gary's so sweet!
Valerie: Thanks...
Gary: But could you help me out a little? I can't seem to figure out where the eigth gym
is...
Valerie: Oh... well, I heard a rumour that they were thinking of reopening the gym in
Viridian. Maybe you could try that?
Gary: Really? Thanks! Come on, girls, I'm off to be a pokemon champion!
Gary's gals: YAY!
(Gary drives off)
Valerie: Now... what were we.... WAIT A MINUTE!
FarFetch'd: Psi yai yai....
Valerie: Now what do I do?
(Valerie's six rare pokemon come running up to her)
Valerie: You came back! I can't believe this!
FarFetch'd: PsiDuck?
Valerie: I guess it goes to show that pokemon that really love you will never leave you!
(Some ditch far away...)
Jeff: You fools! This is all your fault!
Jesse: What?!? It's your fault!
James: Team Rocket must really be going down the tube to recruit idiots like you!
Jeanine: HEY! We're much better than you are!
Jesse: Oh yea?
James: Go, Weezing!
(James throws ball, yada yada yada)
Jesse: Arbok!
(Ditto)
Jeff: MUK!
(Same thing)
Jeanine: JYNX!
(Out comes Jynx)
Weezing: Weezing!
Arbok: Arbok!
Muk: Muk!
Jynx: OOooooOOOOOO?
Mr. Mime and Meowth: Oh boy. Here we go again.
(Weezing, Jynx, Muk, and Arbok slam into eachother. All of them drop to the floor)
Weezing: Weezing! (Re: This is too much!)
Arbok: ArBOOK! (Re: Lousy slave driving masters!)
Muk: MUK! (Re: Can't we all just get along?)
Jynx: EEEEEOOOOO! (Re: EEEEEOOOOO!)
Jesse: Forget this! We wasted the whole episode helping you out!
James: When we could have used it trying to catch pikachu!
Jesse: Let's go!
(Jesse and James leave Jeff and Jeanine)
(Meanwhile...)
Nurse Joy and Cop Jenny: Bye! Thanks, Ash!
(Ash, Misty, and Brock walk off into the sunset after yet another grand adventure)
Ash: That's strange. I didn't see Team Rocket at all this time.
Misty: Yeah. I wonder what happened to them?
Ash: Maybe they had some other business to do.
Ambigously Gay Narrator: That's right, Ash! But don't worry! Because Team Rocket will be
back next episode, and you can rest assured that they won't be wasting their time with any
more "Rocket Reunions." Until next time!
THE END
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