“Hi, dad!” Yuffie waved to her father. “What do you want?” Yuffie explained, “I’m here to ask for some help in returning the chocobo lure back to its original location!” “Why do you need my help!?” “Um...” Yuffie pondered for a moment. “That black materia was buried pretty deeply in the mako pit. Could you, um...”
Cloud wasn’t really up to it. He really despised these forty-five minute long battles with the weapons. As the emerald weapon blew Vincent to smithereens, again, with it’s emerald beam, Cloud began to get bored. “Why do we always have to fight these things, ourselves? And where the hell is Barret?” A burnt Vincent replied, “You didn’t know? He didn’t have time to board the submarine when we left, so now he’s hanging out at the Sister Ray in Junon.” Cloud suddenly had an idea.
The Ruby Weapon raised its arms back and prepared to destroy the Golden Saucer, when something suddenly bumped into its leg. It was Cid, riding a golden chocobo. “You want a piece of me!?” Cid taunted. The Ruby Weapon stuck its hands into the ground, and two tendrils popped up behind Cid. “Knights of the Round!” The two tendrils were quickly destroyed by the thirteen knights. “Ha!” Cid mocked the Ruby Weapon. He prepared himself for the Ruby Weapon’s counterattack, but it never came. The Ruby Weapon just stood there, with its arms in the sand. “What the %$&@? Don’t you want to fight me?” Cid stared at the huge red monstrosity for a while. All of a sudden, FIFTY tendrils popped out of the ground and surrounded Cid. “SHIIIIIT!” They all began to slash at Cid. Cid jumped back onto the golden chocobo, and ran for his life. Everywhere he went, there were more tendrils. He constantly twisted and turned between the tentacles, dodging every strike. Strangely, the tendrils immediately stopped moving. Cid looked behind him to find Ruby tangled up and strangled in its own tentacles.
“Work, slave!” Yuffie whipped Godo on the back as he grunted and used a shovel to dig and put the black materia back into its rightful place. Godo mumbled, “When we get home, I’m really going to punish her...”
The little girl glanced into the sky. Besides the usual dark cloud caused by the pollution, a new darkness was coming. It was covering the globe. Priscilla didn’t know what to do.
“Hey, guys. What’s going on?” The Highwind dropped down to pick up a bruised and battered Cait Sith and Red XIII. Yuffie examined the two. “That damn Diamond Weapon used his diamond flash three times!!!” bellowed Red XIII. “And the ultimate weapon managed to decimate Condor Fort before we could kill it.” Yuffie stared at the rubble that was once Condor Fort. “Oh well. That’s life.”
“Hey, Cloud. What’s up?” Yuffie ordered the Highwind to land near the submarine. Cloud replied, “Everything was going fine, until Sapphire showed up to help Emerald weapon out.” “Really? We never got the chance to fight it, ourselves. What attacks did it have?” Barret waved from the top of the Sister Ray cannon, which was moved back into Junon. “We didn’t have to fight it this time, either.” Vincent said with a smirk.
The Highwind stopped by the desert, but it was too late. Cid and the golden chocobo were killed by the Ruby Weapon. “NOOO!” moaned Cloud. “MY GOLDEN CHOCOBO!!!”
Just kidding. Cid was okay. But the golden chocobo..... was also okay. Unfortunately, while Cloud and the gang was fighting the weapons and Yuffie was returning the black materia to the makuro pit (and you were wasting your time reading the above joke), the dark lifestream had enough time to spread all over the planet. All of a sudden, without warning, the sky filled with darkness.
“Wait a minute!” shouted Yuffie. “The mako pit was the last location for the chocobo lure! Shouldn’t the dark lifestream be sealed away?” “Obviously not.” replied Vincent, as the group watch the dark cloud engulf Junon. The people of Junon went insane, and started stabbing at each other with knives. Fortunately for her, Priscilla was able to escape Junon by riding away on Mr. Dolphin. “We’re too late.” commented Vincent. “The dark lifestream has already gotten past the seal. “No way!” shouted Yuffie. “There has to be a way.” The dark cloud began to cover the world, and the sky turned black. Yuffie prodded everyone back into the Highwind. “We can’t just let this happen!” “So, now what?” asked Barret. Suddenly, Cloud heard a voice. “Aeris?” Cloud was dazed. “Hey, man. Are you all right?” Barret walked over to Cloud. “I’m fine. We must head to the ancient temple!” “Why?” asked Cid. Cloud answered, “I know that’s what we’re looking for.” “Wasn’t the ancient temple destroyed by me?” asked Cait Sith. Red XIII looked out the window towards the ancient temple. “I thought it was.”
Another ancient temple was there, instead of the gaping hole that was left when it was shrunken into the black materia. It gave out a dark foreboding black glow. “Well, obviously something is going on.” Cid commented. The Highwind landed next to the temple, and Yuffie, Cloud, Red XIII, Barret, Cait Sith, Cid, and Vincent entered the temple. “Wow... pretty good...” Yuffie checked out the gothic room, which was huge. Her voice echoed throughout the enormous hallway. “Welcome.” The group was greeted by a familiar voice, but they couldn’t remember whose voice it was. “Who are you?” asked Cloud. “I’m Tseng, dammit! Tseng, Tseng, Tseng!” “Oh yeah.” replied Cloud. “I really don’t remember you very well.” Tseng growled. Annoyed at being forgotten, Tseng continued, “My life was cut short all too early. However, my soul was still alive, contained by the magic surrounding this area. I was in constant anger. Me, Tseng, leader of the Turks, killed off so easily! Never to be mentioned again. Even dear Elena forgot me. She never even mentioned my name after she tried to punch you, Cloud, at the ice village. I was forgotten. I never even got a chance to show my worth to Avalanche. However, that all soon changed. The dark lifestream. A stream of those souls filled with hate, desire, and loathing. This stream had the ability to fill other souls with that same hate... same desire... same loathing... the same evil that plagues all of humanity. It gathered, just as the lifestream does every so often. But it couldn’t gather together, because the normal lifestream was in its way at Mideel. So it gathered at the next closest place. Here. The dark lifestream found me, and I was given new life. What better way to use this new life than to cause the havoc I was never given the chance to cause before!? Behold! See the destruction, see the death, see the chaos I have wrought!” Images converged over a circle of water, to show the evil taking place, just as they had before when Cloud first entered the ancient temple. However, this time the images were ones of villages all over the globe...
Cid and Barret watched in horror as an image of Rocket Town converged in front of their eyes. It was an image of Cid’s house. The angry, hateful denizens of the town have been bored for too long. Years and years of nothing exciting happening have finally forced the townspeople to take matters into their own hands. Now, in their madness, they were attacking the household of their own beloved captain. “HEEELP!” Palmer was hiding behind Shera and shooting the angry mob with his mako gun as Shera wacked the psychotic townsfolk with a broom. “Daddy!” shouted Marlene. “Where are you!?” “Marlene!!!” Barret watched, helpless, as the mob backed Shera and Marlene (and Palmer, but no one cared about him) into a corner. “Isn’t there anything we can do!?” But everyone else wasn’t paying attention. They were too busy looking at the other images in the water. “NO! Father!” Yuffie was shocked as she watched the townspeople of Wutai burn down the sacred pagoda. They were angry at the gods for their misfortune in the war, and now they were getting their revenge. Godo, Shake, Gorky, Chekhov, and Staniv were being overwhelmed by the crazy citizens. All of the images in the water showed the influence of the dark lifestream, as normal people became murderers and murderers became... well, more sadistic. Images were shown of people committing manslaughter as bullets flew everywhere in the city. People driving Shinra automobiles ran over pedestrians without a second glance. Police did nothing to stop the violence. In fact, they contributed to it by shooting anyone they met, including each other. Chaos was everywhere.
“You see?” Tseng broke everyone’s trance. “All of this death... all of this destruction... all of this evil... It will all be attributed to me!” “He’s gone mad!” shouted Red XIII. “We must stop him!” “You can not stop me! Those robot chocobos I made and those weapon beasts were just little toys compared to this!” shouted Tseng. Tseng muttered a few words, and a HUGE red dragon, bigger than the Emerald and Ruby weapons combined, appeared in front of the group. “HA HA HA HA!” Tseng gave an evil laugh as the dragon prepared to strike. The large room was soon being covered in flames. “Sh...” Cid’s and Barret’s mouths were covered by Cloud, who said, “If you two say shit and then jinx one more time, I will personally lop off both of your heads!” Cid and Barret silently agreed to lay off the shit, for now. As the dragon breathed fire and Cloud, Barret, and Cid jumped out of the way, Cait Sith’s moogle pounded the dragon on the tail. The tail swung, sending Cait Sith clear across the hall. Barret blasted the dragon’s head with his gun. The dragon charged at Barret and ripped his teeth into Barret’s skull. Barret was seriously wounded. “Catastrophe!!!” he shouted. As the dragon was being blown away by Barret’s huge beam, he was blasted from above by Bahamut Zero, who was summoned by Cloud. Yuffie grabbed all of the gold pieces they had and threw the shiny razor bladed discs at the dragon, which cut into it. Red XIII growled, and bit into the dragon’s neck, but all of this fighting didn’t even seem to faze the dragon, even after Cid summoned Knights of the Round. Everyone’s stamina was beginning to wane...
“Tseng!” shouted Vincent. “Well, well,” Tseng answered. “If it isn’t the former Turk. Now we shall see who is better!” The two drew their guns, and fired again and again at each other. Soon, however, instead of fighting the red-caped vampire known as Vincent, Tseng found himself assaulted by a hellacious daemon. “Satan Slam!” roared Chaos, aka Vincent, as skulls converged upon Tseng and attacked him. “What the hell is this!?” Tseng was astonished at such power. However, he had some power of his own, and wasn’t about to lose. The two continued on fighting, even as the dragon next to them attacked everyone else. They fought for a long time, with Tseng skillfully dodging and attacking as Vincent cross-slashed with his wings, until Tseng looked at his watch. “Oh shit! Gotta go.” Tseng ran away. Vincent stared, dumbfounded.
“I can’t go on much longer...” whined Yuffie as she drank a hi-potion. “Shit!” shouted Cid. “How much does this $&#(*)^ thing withstand!?” “Don’t worry! I’ll use my limit break!” Cait Sith once again used his slots attack. This time, all he got was a toy box attack, which wasn’t very effective. “There must be a way...” Cloud thought to himself. Suddenly, he was hit with a revelation. Cloud looked out back, and saw a door leading deep into the temple. “Don’t die on me, guys! I’ll be back!” he shouted, as he ran to the door, leaving everyone else to deal with the dragon. Yuffie watched him out of the corner of her eye. Using her mediocre ninja skills, Yuffie darted in and out of the dragon’s limbs and arrived at the doorway with Cloud. “Cloud!” shouted Yuffie. “I’m coming, too!” “No you’re not! Help the others!” Cloud dashed inside. Yuffie decided that she would not listen to Cloud, since she was supposed to be the leader, not him. Yuffie followed Cloud.
Darkness... Yuffie and Cloud opened their eyes. They were in a room of darkness, yet they could see clearly (Think of space). Sephiroth walked over to them. “Cloud, you puppet. You finally came.” Cloud confronted Sephiroth. “I should have known that the dark lifestream would choose to resurrect someone as evil as you...” “The dark lifestream chose to resurrect me? My friend, you are mistaken. All of this time, I have been controlling the dark lifestream, myself. When you defeated me, I found myself surrounded by it. I took over control of it. However, I needed to find a way, to break the seal binding it. Fortunately, as our dear friend Tseng said, the dark lifestream gathered here. Even with the seal, the dark lifestream was able to resurrect anyone in the near vicinity. Tseng was that person. I decided that I could use Tseng to destroy the seal on the dark lifestream, so I took control of his mind. The process started with a letter. A letter to a young little girl, who resided in a small little insignificant town. This girl was my tool to breaking the seal. When she did, the dark lifestream was able to bring me back to life. So, you see, the dark lifestream didn’t choose to resurrect me. I made it do that, myself. By the way, thank you, Yuffie for assisting me in breaking the seal. I can’t believe that you were actually stupid enough to think that an anonymous letter would lead you to the ultimate materia! Ha ha ha!” “What!?” cried Yuffie. “You tricked me!!!” “Yes, I tricked you! And you fell for it, hook, line, and sinker! You have gotten past all of the evil traps that the dark lifestream set for you. I’m especially surprised that you were able to get past Aeris. But now, with my newfound power, I can get my revenge on Cloud, and finally cure the world of strife! Cloud Strife!” Sephiroth raised his long masamune blade and brought it down upon Cloud. Cloud quickly put up his equally humongous sword to block the attack. “Damn!” Cloud shouted. Yuffie was paralyzed. This was all her fault. Sephiroth striked Cloud with blow after blow, and Cloud was losing. Sephiroth stabbed to the left, and Cloud would dodge to the right, but when Cloud stabbed to the right, Sephiroth not only dodged it, he countered and slashed Cloud across his arm. The fight went on, with Sephiroth being untouched by Cloud’s weapon as Cloud was chopped again and again. Yuffie grabbed out her Conformer and threw it at Sephiroth, but Sephiroth just brushed the weapon away like a frisbee. Seeing how she wasn’t helping and Cloud was getting killed, Yuffie decided to try something else. “I’m sorry, Cloud! Take care of yourself!” Yuffie ran deeper into the temple.
The dragon swung his massive claw, smashing the moogle, and Cait Sith exploded. “You killed Cait Sith!” Barret screamed. (I put this in here for the sake of killing something.)
Yuffie looked around. Complete darkness. She could feel the dark lifestream surrounding her. “Ah... Yuffie. You came. What better person than the very one who’s selfishness and greed broke my seal and unleashed me...” The dark lifestream seemed to be talking to her. Yuffie could say nothing. “Yuffie... Why don’t you join us? Think about it... All of our power could be yours. You saw the power that Tseng and Sephiroth held. Now, I am offering to give it all to you...” Yuffie blinked in thought. “All of that power... mine?” “Yes, Yuffie. Never again will your town be humiliated in a war... Never again will you be tormented and picked on by your peers, who think they are superior to you... Never again will you have to tolerate being called an immature brat by everyone else... Never again... All you have to do is will it, and it will be done...” “The power...” Yuffie stared in amazement. “It can all be mine... Never again will I have to put up with any of it...” Yuffie put out her hand to receive the power of the dark lifestream. She felt the power coursing through her veins. Soon... she would be able to destroy all of those who opposed her... Suddenly, she took her hand back, and felt the power shoot out of her back into the dark lifestream. “What are you doing!?” The dark lifestream seemed angry at being rejected. “I can’t...” Yuffie explained. “I can’t do this... No matter how mean everyone is to me, no matter how much they seem to hate me... They’re my friends. Even if Cloud continues to harbor his opinion that he doesn’t care about Wutai, even if Shake continues to give me insults that would make any normal human being want to curl up and die, even if everyone continues to say that Cloud and I would make a bad couple because Cloud does not have that bad taste, I won’t do this...” “Then you must die.” The dark lifestream began to engulf Yuffie, and began to cut into her very soul. Yuffie fell to the ground. “Help me...” she cried into the darkness.
“You will never be better than me.” Sephiroth continued to slash at Cloud, mercilessly, even after Cloud was down. “That is why you are always my puppet. You are inferior to me...” Sephiroth swung his sword across, leaving a huge gash across Cloud’s face, who was wounded terribly. “No, Sephiroth.” Cloud slowly stood up, to Sephiroth’s surprise. “You are the one who was inferior to me. You are the one who went insane upon hearing that Jenova was your mother. You are the fool who actually thought that Jenova could be your mother. You are the one who must burn down entire towns, who must kill the innocent, who must ruin everyone’s lives just to ventilate your anger at knowing how inferior you are. And now, I will make sure that you are never allowed to ruin anyone’s life, again. OMNISLASH!” “What!?” cried Sephiroth. “NOT AGAIN!!!” In fourteen painful slashes, Cloud cut through bone and sliced through Sephiroth, Then Cloud jumped up and his sword flashed, and Cloud came down upon Sephiroth with the final fatal blow. When the light cleared, however, Sephiroth was still standing. Cloud stared in amazement. “HA HA HA!” Sephiroth charged Cloud and sliced through him. Cloud fell to the ground. “See!? You lie. You are the one who is inferior to me!!!” Sephiroth was about to finish Cloud off. “No. I can not lose, now!” Cloud heard a voice once again. “Aeris.” Cloud began to glow white. “Wha... What!?” Surprised, Sephiroth watched as Cloud’s sword began to glow. “Sephiroth!!!” “No! It can’t be!” Cloud dashed at Sephiroth with his new vigor, and with a burst of light, Sephiroth was gone. Wounded from Sephiroth’s blows, Cloud didn’t say a word. He just headed deeper into the temple, to finally put an end to this madness.
The dark lifestream continued to drain Yuffie’s energy. Yuffie felt the life leaving her, but she could not fight back... “You can not defeat me, Yuffie. You, yourself, are nothing but evil. You care about nothing but yourself, and that is why you only give to my power, even though you are trying to destroy me...” “Everyone, I’m sorry.” Yuffie could not think about what to do. Then, she saw him. He was in an even worse condition than she was. He came into the dark lifestream, determined to fight it, even though he was dying. “What!? You can not stop me...” Cloud was enveloped by the evil. “Ahhhgg!” Cloud screamed as the evil began to take away his life. The dark lifestream tore into Cloud, and ripped him apart. Cloud fell to the ground. “NOOOO!” Yuffie screamed. “CLOUD!” Yuffie dashed over to Cloud and put her arm around him. Cloud’s eyes were closed. He wasn’t breathing. He didn’t have a pulse. “Cloud... Please... don’t die... don’t go... Cloud...” Yuffie caught Cloud and held him up. “Cloud... How could this happen...” Yuffie began to cry over Cloud, who wasn’t moving. “Argh!!!” The evil halo began to rumble. “Curses! The power of true love!” There was a tremendous flash, and then there were more. Rumbling noises could be heard throughout the temple. The darkness began to crumble away. Barret, Cid, Vincent, Red XIII, and the next Cait Sith who was sent to replace the original watched as the red dragon flashed and exploded, then faded away. A huge burst of light soared from the temple, blinding anyone in the near vincinity. When it was over, Yuffie and Cloud opened their eyes. The dark lifestream was gone. Vanished forever. Yuffie and Cloud looked at each other. All of a sudden, Yuffie jumped back. “What did it say!? I don’t love Cloud!” Cloud had no comment. Suddenly, the dark lifestream rematerialized. “You don’t?” it asked. “Great! Then I guess I’m still here!” “Wait!” Yuffie shouted. “I was joking! I do love Cloud!” “Drat.” The dark lifestream disappeared again. Yuffie walked up to Cloud, and whispered into his ear. “I really don’t.”
“I’m home!” “Captain!” Shera greeted Cid enthusiastically. “Shera! I’m so glad you’re all right!” “Don’t worry about it, captain. All we had to do was give Palmer to the mob. He held them off for a long time.” A bruised and battered Palmer (bruised not by the townspeople, but by the truck that hit him as he tried to run away from the townspeople) frowned. “Marlene!” Barret cried as he picked up his four year old daughter. “Dad? Why were those people trying to kill us?”
Yuffie returned home, happy that she managed to stop what she started. “Hey, bimbo!” Shake greeted Yuffie. Yuffie picked up Shake, walked upstairs, and threw her out the window. She then kicked Godo out of bed. “Make Wutai great, dammit!” Godo stared at Yuffie. “Drat. So much for today’s afternoon nap.” Godo got to work rallying up the rest of the Wutaians, and soon Wutai embarked on a noble quest to conquer the world. “NO, DAD!” “Well, you said you wanted Wutai to be great, didn’t you?” “Not like that!” “Well, what the hell do you want me to do!?” “DAD!” Yuffie and Godo were soon bickering and screaming at each other. Chekhov and Staniv watched. Staniv turned to Chekhov. “It looks like things are back to normal.” Chekhov nodded her head, as the argument between the two rang throughout the night.
“Dammit!” Tifa emerged from the rubble of the Seventh Heaven. “Thanks a lot, Cloud, for keeping your promise to protect me!” she screamed sarcastically. “The least you could have done was dig me out when you visited Nibelheim! I’m especially angry with the author of this fan fic! He ditched me in this rubble so that he wouldn’t have to worry about me as that stupid brat, Yuffie, obsessed over Cloud. The next time he does this to me, I think I’ll go over and kick his ass!”
The End...
“So, you see, we turned over a new leaf.” “Are you sure?” Reeve looked at Rufus doubtfully. “I can guarantee it, Reeve. And now, we aren’t sucking the good lives from the planet. We’re taking the bad ones. By harnessing the mako of the dark lifestream, we can make money and drain the energy from an evil being at the same time.” “Thank you, sir.” Reeve left the room. Tseng walked over to Rufus. “Mr. Vice-President?” Rufus looked at Tseng, Reno, Rude, and Elena. “Do it.” he said. “But...” asked Elena. “I thought you turned over a new leaf.” “Ha!” cried Reno. “If you believed that, you don’t deserve to be a member of the Turks!” Rude turned his bald head to Elena. “We’re Turks, Elena. Don’t believe everything you hear.” “Come on.” Tseng added. “Let’s go.” The Turks grabbed out their pistols, and left to assassinate President Shinra.