Lost: small sniffer squig. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by
waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for Orky lady with thick legs and
large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to
take home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it
really repellent.

Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul, fresh
vagetables, salads, quiche.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for charges,
the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year.

Squig for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

FENRIS, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim
in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other
athletic facilities.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.
Automatically burns toast.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.

We build bodies that last a lifetime.

Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last .

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References
required.

Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.

Gretchin wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Used ships: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll
never go anywhere again.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Goliath leader seeking slim, sexy Escher for play-mate. Flourecent Green
hair a plus. Beanchpress 200lbs, MIN. Bring own weaponry, birth control
pills, and other naughty things. Deathman@Goliath.Primus.Necromunda

Used Terminator armour, missing targeter. Otherwise good shape, only
14,000 km on the legs, and 5 teleports. Asking 12,000 Creds, willing to
bargin. Jobe@Inquisiton.Terra.com


Mekboy (Scorcher-Driva) seeks 'oumie bikin' sista for wipin'
da boots, bashin' 'eads and kickin' da ladz (is best fun).
Call 1-900-FUELSQUIG for more info

Gretchin seeks good weaponsmith for constructing a reliable
gun. Gun must be loadable with big nailz, chain links, or
buzzer squigs. S'ould 'ave a good area of effect, since
targetting is 'dat 'ard.
Mail offers to No.More@Kickin.Da.Ladz.Is.Best.Fun

Mekboy (Scorcher-Driva) desperately seeks Painboy to pull a
lot of big nailz and chain links out of his backside.
Seeks reliable Imperial Assassin, too, for the final bashin'
of da Grot that kidnapped da bikin' sista.
Call 1-900-FUELSQUIG

Drillboss seeks Wildboyz for 'deir proper introduction to
da Orks' kulture. Black boots and 'elmets required.
Call 1-900-STORMBOY


Rattling Squad seeks rentable Rhino with driver for
transport of supplies in the next campaign.
Good insurance a necessity ! Reinforced Armor a plus.
Call 1396-HAPPA-HAPPA if interested

Imperial Electro Priest seeks employment as spare
battery. Constant power guaranteed.
Call 0130-PLUG-IN for details

Inquisitor seeks knowledge of hidden chaos intruders.
Mail (encrypted) details to Cardman@Who.The.Xxxx.Is.Alice

$$ Spare money ? Wanna spend ? $$
$$ Call 0190-BUY-MORE-FROM-GW $$

Renegade Assassin for hire ! Perfect kills, with or without blood.
Special: Camouflage and evil grin during slaughter.
Call 1-900-CHEESYBOY

Rightous Inquisitor seeks flexible female Assassin
for exploration of new positions apart from 69.
Call 6969-WANT-MORE

Tall blonde Adeptus Sororitas seeks handsome puritanical
Space Marine. Clean geneseed a must. Hobbies: Working out,
jogging, purging the heretics. Call 1-900-EMPEROR for more info.

$$ No spare money ? Want some ? $$
$$ Call 0190-BOUGHT-TOO-MUCH-FROM-GW $$
(I'll tell you the things that won't work)

Dark haired Space Marine Commander seeks lusty, nordic
type, tall blond Adeptus Sororitas. Must like pets.
Hobbies: Dodging, wearing furs, killing Orks and Eldar.
Sniffing trees. Call 1-900-WOLFPUP for more info.

Tall, bald, head of religous Emperor's cult, seeks strong,
psykic female for breeding purposes. Love of family a must.
No Inquisitors please. Call 1-800-BIGHEAD

Ultramarine seeks Sororitas for fashion tips, dancing,
and decoration. Hairstyling experience a plus, must have own
makeup kit.
Call 1-800-ULTRAQUEEN

Tech-priest seeks assistant. Must be into body piercing,
submission, and own rhino. Enclose photo of rhino.
Call 0130-SERVITOR


Athletic, acrobatic, agile private dancer ist waiting
for you ! Interested to show off his dance of death.
Presence of a doctor advised.
Call 0140-HARLEQUIN

Warp Spider Exarch seeks employment in Blood Bowl Team.
Best for hide & shoot field goals. Will use dirty tricks
for better results if required.
Call (tollfree) 0130-FASTSHOT-DEATHSPINNER

Dire Avenger seeks aspect warrior with bent barrel, flower pressing a
must, call for jolly skips in the park. (No avatars please)
Tel: 1-800-PANSEEE.

Former Eldar Hero seeks employment in horror cabinet. STUNNING
performance guaranteed.
Call 0130-JAIN-ZAR


Tall, bald Hive Tyrant seeks slaves for mass orgy of blood. Gender and
following unimportant. Must like to be dominated.
Call 1-800-HIVE-SEX


HELP !! Lost my broadsword, length ca. 70", weight 96 pounds, black
blade with long barbs. Need it for next invasion.
Will pay a reward of 28 human skulls to the honest finder.
Call 0666-DONT-TOUCH-MY-SWORD
PS: Better don't touch, it's possessed from a Greater Daemon of Khorne !

Former army leader seeks partners for butchery founding. No wimps, please,
bloodlust a plus, same for possession of a Chainaxe.
Call 0130-BLOODNET

Tired of sleeping all the time ?
Call 0130-THE-HORRORS for the final cure

Khorne warrior seeks lusty big chested hammer wielder, flesh mutilation a
must. Must have extra limbs. No doctors please. Please send limbs.
Call: 1-900-BLOOD666

How big is your pustule. If you like nurglings and pestilence, then
I have a disease for you.
Call 1-800-BUBOE

Daemonette seeks anything, anytime, any place for forbidden pleasures. No
kinky stuff please, I'm not that kind of girl.
Call 1900-SLAA-NESH

Battle Wagon Driver seeks to trade da extra 750 Watt amp for any album
made by one of da' following groups:
Ramones (esp. any albums wit Blitzkreg Bop on them)
Motorhead
Metallica
Black Sabbath
John Lennon (esp. da one wit Working Class Hero)
Smashing Pumpkins
The Gone Jackals
Green Jello
Beasty Boys
Lothar And The Hand People (old an' rare, will throw in da 8 meter tall speaker for dis' one)
Deep Purple
Cherry Hill
Coolio
Limelighters (It's a Mork's Day present for da Stormboy! I swear!)

Elderly Army Commander with Psychic Abilities seeks volunteers
for army. Must be free of diseases. Psychic abilities a plus.
Send blood sample to: Old Tyrant, Hive Fleet Kraken
Or call (toll free): 1-800-DEVOURD.

Lone mother with a big family seeks company of (unarmed) Space Marines.
And I do mean the entire Company.
Call HIVE-DOMINATR