Wicked:  mmmmm....

Vegie:  Good morning sir, your morning coffee.

Wicked: mmmm....

Vegie:  Would you like me to read you your daily newspaper?

Wicked: mmmmm.....

Vegie:  Ok, let's see now..... Celes Chere declared greater empress than Wi...... uh, heh heh, let's skip that one, ok?

Wicked: mmmm.... (sips coffee)  WHAT?!! CELES DECLARED BETTER WHAT OVER ME?!!!

Vegie:  uh, well, let's see.....  It says here that the people don't like you that much.

Wicked:  WHAT?! THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS!!  I AM VERY LOVABLE!!!

Vegie:  Yes sir, but it also says here that they don't like Celes that much, either.

Celes:  WICKED!!!  I know you paid the newspaper to print this garbage!

Wicked:  Huh?  What are you talking about?!  You're the one who printed this crap!

Vegie:  Stop it, you too.  Now why don't we see what the problem is, hm?

Wicked:  But I don't wanna.....

Celes:  Oh shut your complaining!  You sick baby!

Wicked:  Oh yeah?!!  (Takes out axe and starts foaming at mouth)

Celes:  Oh great  (Takes out huge sword, crafted by Cid)

Leo:  Hey guys, guess what.  I found an injured squirrel on the street, and now he's living with me until he recuperates.

Wicked:  What the...?!  You took a stupid little squirrel in?!

Kefka:  YAAA! WEEE!!  It's fun to be crazy!   Hey dumbos, ever realize how the people wish Leo was emperor, and not you two?

Celes:  Hey, he's right, KILL LEO!!

Leo:  AAH!!

Vegie:  No no no.  Leo's our greatest general.  We can't just bump him off like that.

Kefka:  You're right, let's make him suffer, THEN kill him!

Locke:  Celes......!

Celes:  Oh boy, sorry Leo.  I meant no harm...

Locke: That's better

(So they decided to get to the bottom of things)

Wicked:  EAT DIRT, CORRUPT NEWSPAPER MAN!  AHAHAHA!!

Newspaper man:  AAH!! The emperor has gone psycho!

*Extra Extra, Wicked gone mad!  (Wasn't he already?)*

Celes:  Hoorah, more fame for me.  Now anyway, what's the meaning of this paper?!

Newspaper man:  We took a toll, and found out that most Vectorians are family people.

Wicked:  What the hell does that have to do with anything?!

Newspaper man:  The people think you're too violent.  They need a more peaceful emperor and empress.  not one that'll try and kill everything if they are disobeyed against.

Celes:  You mean like Leo......

Leo:  Cool!  I can't wait to take the throne.  I'm so glad I was resurrected, thanks guys.

Wicked:  Shut yo trap, boy.  You ain't gettin' no throne.

Kefka:  hoorah!  What about meeeeee?

Celes:  Ick!  We don't even know how you became a commander again!

Vegie:  So what do you propose we do?

Wicked:  It seems to me that.... We need to kill more people!  That'll get their attention!

Celes:  No, you idiot!  That's not it!  We need a more... nicer look, a more..... cute look....

Wicked:  I got it!  You could go on national television, and dance around naked!

Celes:  WHAT?!!  NO!  YOU go on national television, and dance around naked!

Wicked:  Ok.  Eeee, I get to be naked!

Celes:.....  (Shudder)

Vegie:  I don't even want to think about it!  I think Celes means that we need a Vectorian national pet.

Wicked:  Like what?!  I'm allergic to most mammals, which is why I fired most of our generals!

Leo:  The hell?  Um, no..

Yuffie (Out of nowhere):  I'm cute!  I'm cute!

Vegie:  Shut up, you hideous woman!

Celes:  Hey Leo, what about that squirrel....

Leo:  What about it?

(Later)

People of Vector:  Awww, it's soooo cute!

Wicked:  Ick, I can't believe we have a squirell for a mascot!

Celes:  Hey, it makes them happy, doesn't it?

Wicked:  Yeah, I guess.  I just hope it doesn't try to gnaw my eyes out in the middle of the night.

(Squirrel attacks Wicked)

People of Vector:  Aww, isn't that precious?

Wicked:  AAAH!  Get this THING off me!!

Vegie:  Shhhh, you can't let the people hear you say that!

Celes (Looking down at Wicked's corpse being eaten away by the squirrel):  Heh heh, I like this mascot.