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 *DING. DING. DING.*

 "YAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

 And the referee was knocked unconscious.

 Quite by accident, of course. Guido Anchovis, swinging downward with his
bamboo umbrella, had missed Choi Bounge, who had been attempting to dropkick
Speedy Service, who was standing on Chang Koehan's head and whacking it 
with the blunt side of his sword. The ref just happened to be standing there
at the time, a foolish mistake when you think about it. (Of course, the bell
to start the match *had* rang just five seconds ago, but everybody agreed 
afterwards that it had been completely the referee's own fault.)

 It's a shame the referee was unconscious, because he was probably the only
one who could have stopped Chang from exiting the ring, reaching down under
the ring, and pulling his bigass iron ball out. Chang reentered the ring, 
gave the iron ball a few test swings, and accidentally clobbered the 
referee as he was attempting to stand up. The ref collapsed like a sack of
wet mice. (Chang later said that was also the referee's own fault, but
nobody would agree with him.) Chang muttered what could have been an 
apology (but, most definitely, wasn't) and swung the ball at the two Samurai 
Pizza Cats, who had Choi trapped in a corner and were beating the funk out 
of him.

 What Chang had forgotten to take into account was that the iron ball was
much bigger than everybody else in the ring combined. Thus, the iron ball 
swung into the corner and damn near killed all three of the small fighters.

 "Oww! Chang! What the hell?" Choi yelled.

 "Sorry," Chang mumbled apologetically.

 "Our feline heroes looked to be in a spot of trouble," the Samurai Pizza 
Cats Narrator said just before he was captured and tranquilized by this 
fanfic's security squad. I have an image to maintain, you know. ^_^

 --------

 Only half of the arena was watching the violent abuse of weaponry in a 
wrestling ring that was masquerading as the JWF Tag Team Tournament 
Semi-Final Match #2. The other half was watching the violent abuse of 
weaponry that would be locally called "the Row 16 Brawl" for many weeks to 
come. The Row 16 Brawl was really just Jodi Kaphwan beating the living 
nightlites out of Kim while everybody else tried to hold her back 
(with the exception of Billy Kane, who kept handing her things to use as 
weapons). 

 "Really, it's not that big a deal!" Kim stammered frantically, dodging 
Jodi's swing of a chair's metal armrest and smiling a #3(the You're My 
Wife and I Love You, So Please Don't Kill Me smile).

 "You said you REFORMED them!" Jodi yelled, tossing away the armrest and 
throwing the rest of the chair at Kim.

 "I did! I got them new jobs and everything!" Kim said, just barely dodging
the flying chair.

 "You told me they were WORKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT!" Jodi yelled, grabbing
Ryuji Yamazaki by the arm and swinging him at Kim.

 "HEY! WHAT THE $#&)($#?" Yamazaki yelled, not quite sure how else to deal 
with this.

 "He told *me* they were computer programmers," Jack said, jumping back to 
avoid a wild swing.

 "You *believed* that?" Don asked, raising an eyebrow at his brother.

 "I, well, you know..." Jack muttered.

  "Okay, MAYBE I exaggerated a little," Kim said. He deflected a swing of
Yamazaki with a quick standing side kick, knocking him out of Jodi's grasp 
and sending him flying through the air. 
 
 "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TH-" Ryuji crashed into a Coke guy, sending both of
them to the floor and creating a large ocean of Coke which dried under the 
glare of the arena lights in 0.7 seconds and stuck them both to the floor.

 Ryuji yelled some choice obscenities as he tried to get up, finding very 
quickly that he was not going anywhere for a while. 

 "Sir, you're going to be paying for those," the Coke guy, who was stuck 
face down, said.

 "I'm going to kill you when I can get up," Ryuji muttered. 

 Moments later, Iori tripped over him. "Whoopshies! Shorry," Iori said.

 "...urge to kill... rising..." Ryuji muttered.

 "IORI!" a voice yelled.

 Everybody with the exception of Kim and Jodi looked up to the higher level
of seats to see Kyo Kusanagi standing on the edge, pointing downwards at 
Iori.

 There was a pause.

 "Aren't you s'posed t'be dead?" Billy asked.

 Kyo and Iori ignored him.

 "Yer fammly bloodnile... bloondlie... bledlile... uhm... you die, Kushnagi!"
Iori yelled.

 "Yagami, your life ends here!" Kyo struck a heroic pose. "For all my life, 
I have been wAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGH!" Kyo, having been accidentally bumped into by
a few passing spectators, fell twenty feet down to the lower level and 
was impaled on an elderly spectator's unattended walker. 

 "Oh, my god!" Jack yelled. "They killed Kyo!"

 "YOU BASTARDS!" Don added.

 -----

 "I've got him now!" Guido Anchovis yelled as he whipped Chang into the 
ropes.

 Chang, bouncing off the ropes, ducked as Guido went for a spinning heel 
kick. He continued to run, bounced off the ropes on the other side, and 
caught Guido with a massive clothesline as he was getting up. 

 Both collapsed. Chang had collapsed because he had been beaten upon by the 
Samurai Pizza Cats for a good five minutes and had been unable to get to his 
own corner to make a tag, and was thus very exausted. Guido had collapsed 
because it really sucks to be hit by a seventy-pound arm.

 "Come on, Chang!" Choi yelled, reaching for the tag.

 "Come on Guido! Get over here!" Speedy yelled, reaching for the tag.

 The referee, who had waken up a couple minutes ago and eventually managed
to get all weapons out of the ring, began to count. If the count reached ten 
before either man in the ring got up, the match was ruled a double 
disqualification.

 "ONE!" The referee yelled.

 Both Chang and Guido remained motionless. 

 "TWO!" The referee yelled.

 Still no movement. 

 "THREE!"

 "FOUR!"

 "FIVE!"

 Nothing.

 "SIX!" 

 "SEVEN!"

 Guido twitched slightly.

 "EIGHT!"

 "NINE!"

 "TE-"

 The referee's count was interrupted in the jack of time by Choi running into
the ring and hitting the ref from behind with a folding chair. The referee 
collapsed once again, wondering to himself why he didn't just listen to his 
mother and become a Certified Public Accountant.

 Now that the referee was out cold, Choi and Speedy were free to come in and
replace their partners. It was perfectly legal, because that is how
professional wrestling works. 

 "You think you can beat ME?" Choi boasted.

 "I'm gonna beat you all over the ring, shorty!" Speedy yelled back.

 "SHORTY?" Choi screamed. "You can't possibly be more than two inches taller
than I am!"

 "You're just jealous," Speedy grinned, "Shorty!"

 "AAARRRGHHH!" Choi charged at Speedy. Speedy countered the charge with an 
overhead belly-to-belly suplex, sending Choi flying out of the ring.

 "AIEEEEEE!" Choi screamed as he flew through the air. He landed with a 
CRUNCH on the English announcers' replacement table, breaking it in half.

 "Serves you right! Shorty!" Speedy struck a pose. 

 *CRUNCH.* 

 Chang quickly rolled his iron ball out of the ring, nudged the waking 
referee, and sat on the unmoving and suddenly much flatter Speedy.

 "One... two... three!" the ref counted, and signalled for the bell.

 "YOUR WINNERS, CHANG AND CHOI, THEEEEEEE ROCKERRRRRRRRS!" 

 "Rock Rock (Till You Drop)" by Def Leppard blared through the arena as Chang
and Choi celebrated in the ring. 

 "You useless hairball," Guido muttered as he dragged Speedy to the 
backstage area.

 "...call my agent... I never lose... I'm the hero of this series..." Speedy 
muttered as he was dragged away. I'd make a remark here about him being 
"catatonic", but I'd rather NOT be dragged into the street and shot, 
thank you. ^_^

 "AND NOW, THE ROCKERS WILL FACE THE WINNERS OF THE FIRST SEMIFINAL MATCH
IN A MATCH THAT WILL BE FOR THE JWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP. LADIES AND 
GENTLEMEN, HERE THEY ARE ONCE AGAIN, THEEEEEEE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBIRDS!"

 Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Freebird" blared throughout the arena as a rumbling noise
was heard. A ten-foot-tall robotic creature ran to the ring, followed by a 
man in a pink gi and a wooden dummy that was somehow moving on its own 
power.

 The ten-foot robotic creature cackled evilly as it stopped dead short of the
ring, than disappeared with a noise very much like a hundred thousand people
saying "Wop" and reappeared as a thirty-foot-tall robotic creature with one
giant arm and no legs. It vaguely resembled an evil Weeble Wobble.

 The man clad in pink leapt into the ring and flexed his forearm at Chang and
Choi. Than he flexed his forearm to the referee, followed by a flex of the 
forearm towards the crowd, another flex towards the Rockers, and a final 
flex up towards the sky.

 "YAHOOOOOIE!", he yelled.
 
 The wooden dummy leapt into the ring and started breakdancing, spinning
itself around on its head numerous times.

 "YOU SHALL ALL FALL... TO APOCALYPSE," the robotic creature boomed. "YOUR
SOULS ARE ALL OF NO VALUE. YOU SHALL ALL ONE DAY BE PUT TO REST BY MY 
POWER. TELL THEM, MISTER HIBIKI."

 "Face the wrath of Saikyo-Ryu! OoshAAAAAA!" Dan bellowed, flexing his 
forearm.

 "DAN?" Apocalypse boomed.

 "What?" Dan asked.

 "SHUT UP."

 Mokujin nodded in agreement, sternly crossing its arms.

 "Meanies," Dan sniffed.

 Indeed, this was going to be an epic fight. Really, it was. No, really. ^_^

 ---------
 
 WHO WILL EMERGE VICTORIOUS AS THE NEW JWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS?

 WILL KIM KAPHWAN'S ENTRUSTEES EVER REFORM?

 WHERE THE HELL AM I *GOING* WITH THIS STORY, ANYWAY? 



 CHAPTER SIX.

 IT MAY SHOW UP SOON, IT MAY NOT SHOW UP SOON.

 DON'T EXPECT MIRACLES, THOUGH. ^_^