Goldeneye: The Quest for beta

Face it. Everybody who knows what it is wants a beta version. But we will never have one. We will have to settle for Gameshark codes that only simulate the beta version... But I came into contact a while back with a guy who has tried harder than any other mortal man to get a beta version. He doesn't want his name revealed, so I will call him, oh, how about Rigney.

We started talking about Goldeneye through email. Then he let me in on a secret. He was talking, via email, to one of Goldeneye's programmers, making a deal to buy a beta version! The price was quite steep though. 200 British pounds, or about 300 USD. 300 bucks. It is a lot of money, but you would pay it for a beta version, wouldn't you? Well, Rigney sure as hell did.

After about a week, he received word that his money had reached England, and the programmer was sending a copy of the third beta version over. The programmer said that the third version still had all of the neat beta things in it, like the old KF7, etc, but it was still complete enough to actually play. Only a little while longer, and then Rigney would have the beta version to play!

The next few days crawled by. Rigney checked the post office every day, but the beta version did not arrive. He sent constant emails to the programmer, and got some interesting, never before known beta information, (which i have put up on this site) but still not a beta version itsself. Then, finally, the day came.

Rigney raced home. After all, he was holding in his hands Goldeneye beta 3. It even had "beta 3" written on it. He would be the first person out of Rare to ever play a beta version! The ride home seemed like an eternity, even though it was only a few minutes. Finally, they arrived home. He raced into the house, and slapped that cartridge into the Nintendo. He turned the power switch, and held his breath.

It started up! He saw the into, then instantly went into the Dam level. He skipped through the intro, and started. He was playing the beta version! He moved foreward, and shot that first guard. He paused for a moment, then slowly crept up and collected his gun, which was an AK-47 at the time. "Picked up a KF7-Soviet" it said. No big deal, so the gun's names were changed. Now, the moment of truth. He moved his finger to the A button. He pressed it, and waited for that beta KF7 to pop up. And there it came... a regular KF7!?!? Nothing beta about it! Rigney sat there is shock. He then ran to the end of the level. No boat at the docks. No bungee equipment. No stacked tanks in the facility. No beta nothing. He had just payed 300 dollars for a normal version of Goldeneye!

I eagerly awaited the news of the beta. Eventually, i got an email. It was in all caps, and had a lot of profanity in it. He then explained to me how he had gotten screwed into buying a 300 dollar version of Goldeneye. But was all hope lost? Was his $300 gone forever? Well, not quite. This guy wasn't the only one Rigney could contact.

He then contacted another beta programmer. He told him his story, about how he got screwed over, but this programmer had a little bit of sympathy. He said that he felt bad and that he would give him a beta version- for no additional cost. But, at the time this page was made, (march 03) that beta version still hasn't arrived... Are Goldeneye's programmers all mean heartless crooks? Or was it just an honest mistake? Soon, we will find out.