A well known saying fits each of the following strange situations. The saying could be an adage, a famous line from a story or play, or something colloquial. The saying often fits the situation only by using homonyms, homophones, synonyms, or by warping the original meaning of the saying. If you give all of the problems a try before looking at the answers, you can rank yourself with the scale below. Have fun!
Number Correct Adage Aptitude
0-4 Low
5-10 Average
11-16 Above Average
17-22 High
23-28 Superb
29-34 Genius
35-40 Adage Einstein
1. A man finds a bucket full of shining pyrite and exclaims "I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams!"
2. You had a sale on a popular video game at your software store: $45 until 7/25. A man shows up on 7/26 wanting to purchase the game, but he has only $44.
3. An overzealous preacher walks into a bookstore and pulls a book on famous paintings off of the shelf. The front of the book shows a painting of nude men and women, although there are no nude paintings shown elsewhere in the book. He screams "Aha - You are selling pornography! I will burn this book and have you closed down!"
4. A woman finds that her watch is broken. It is a very modern watch and is strangely enough made of cloth. It will cost almost $10 to have the watch repaired, or she could have her boyfriend sew the watch so that it will again function.
5. A teenager is 'getting down' with his girlfriend at a dance hall. He has done the Mambo, Watusi, Lambada, Waltz, and Fox-trot to name a few. He is preparing to do yet another dance, but his dance partner curtly informs him that this particular dance will require a him to pay a $2 fee.
6. Ann puts on a thick leather glove and chases a bee that has gotten into her house. When she skillfully catches it, her boyfriend hugs her, and says "in this light, your eye is gorgeous."
7. Norm is playing fetch with his dog Easy. He calls the dog to him, then throws a stick for the dog to fetch. Norm calls the dog to him again, throws the stick, and so on.
8. A deaf man awakens one day to find that his hearing has returned. The next day he leaves town on vacation to celebrate this miraculous occurrence.
9. Several students at Harvord High School are writing essays of exactly 1,000 words for a contest. The winner will receive an autographed photo of famous author Steven Kingly.
10. Betty and Jacob Rong have been driving west all night to meet their aunt, Miss Takin, in California. They come to a highway that runs north and south, and although their map shows that the shortest route would be to the north, they go south.
11. A college student was told that his new roommate in the dorm would be named Never. Distraught, he walks to the window, opens it, turns and says "it's better this way," and leaps from the 21st floor to his death.
12. Kate felt rejected. "Linda, am I not your favorite Companion?" "No," replied Linda, as she put on her diamond necklace, to go with her rings and bracelets.
13. Christy's date took her to the Point, where she had to push him away after he left teeth marks on her neck. After that, she did not have the nerve to accept the invitations of either of the boys who asked her to the prom; she claimed she had to wash her hair that night.
14. Eric used a 1 cent coupon at the grocery store. At work the next day, he noticed a 1 cent raise on his paycheck.
15. Mark went to sleep at 7:00 PM, and got up at 3:00 AM the next morning. As a result, he was now in excellent physical shape, extremely rich, and sagacious.
16. Farmer Brown told a prospective buyer that she would have 200 chickens to sell him the next week. But when the buyer checked back, only 175 were available. Brown miscalculated because she assumed some chicks would be born by this time that turned out to still be in their shells.
17. A couple of truckers got together to work on their tax returns. One said to the other "can you hand me that 1040?" The other did as requested, saying "104, pleasant friend!"
18. Juan's wife gave him an excellent new awl to use on his job. After a couple of years of use, the tool was fairly worn out. Juan offered his services for a day to a hardware store owner in exchange for a brand new awl.
19. Officer O'Mally pulled up at the Brokenlamp Apartment Complex in response to a call regarding a household disturbance. He went in, looking for apartment 2B, where the disturbance had purportedly taken place. He found an apartment from which loud voices could be heard, but there was no number on the door. An older man approached O'Mally, inquiring as to whether he could be of any assistance. "Is or is not this 2B? That's what I'm asking," said O'Mally.
20. Erica's two dogs are extremely unique. They are actually able to speak while they sleep, but nothing that they say is ever true. Erica has considered taking her dogs to a canine psychologist to correct this bizarre problem, but she figures that as long as they do not engage in this behavior while they are awake, she won't make an issue of it.
21. Jack liked to jog along a trail near a nuclear reactor. His wife, boss, doctor, & best friend each warned him that this could be dangerous. He didn't listen, though, & now he has an additional arm growing from each of his sides.
22. Mike cooks a meal that he calls Hope, which consists of bacon, eggs, pancakes, & grits. He greatly enjoyed this meal one morning, but when he fixed it again the next evening, it tasted terrible.
23. Julie's husband ran over their rake with a lawnmower. After bending the rake back into shape, Julie secretly pretended to be married to the rake, which proved to be a superior experience to her real marriage.
24. Alfonzo lived just outside of the town of Soared, until he passed away a couple of years ago.
25. Jake, Mark, Steady, Ron, & Slow ran in a race, & Steady & Slow tied for first place.
26. John & Joan were behind on paying their bills. Strangely enough, a man dressed as the Grim Reaper showed up one Halloween with receipts proving that he had paid all of their bills.
27. Tom Sullivan & his friend Meyer Weiner were at the Academy Awards. When a beautiful actress who Tom was very fond of won an award & went on the stage to receive her statuette, she kissed it. Tom then turned & said something to his friend.
28. The children at Sagacity Elementary School are very good about playing together during recess. However, they never allow one boy, Well Enough, to participate, & they never speak to him or have anything to do with him.
29. Little Sarah had been enjoying a couple of lollipops, but her mother told her to stop, or it would ruin her dinner. Sarah became angry, & pressed the two lollipops together. When they dried, they were connected to one another.
30. Al owed quite a bit of money to the mob. One day three gangsters pulled him into an alley as he was walking by. Of the three mobsters, Stones was a six foot, 250 lb. ruffian, Sticks was a former heavyweight boxer who stayed in shape, & Names was a four foot tall, 98 pound criminal who was opposed to violence.
31. While Eric was baby-sitting his 4 younger brothers & sisters, he put in ear plugs, but was careful to watch them very closely.
32. Sherri Fiddle went to the tennis court to meet her boyfriend, Bo, for a game. Bo didn't show up, so Sherri didn't get to play tennis that day.
33. Lilly was a contestant on the Press Your Luck Game Show. She had to pick between 3 boxes, one of which contained several nice prizes. She would only receive the prizes if she picked the box that contained them, so she picked the smallest box, & won.
34. During a minor earthquake, a crack developed all the way across the middle of Rick's home. The home immediately collapsed.
35. I was telling my dad about Lendon Best the other day, & he interjected that he had met him before.
36. Todd has been losing his hair. He lost exactly one ounce of hair last month, & Josh simultaneously grew an ounce of hair during the same time period.
37. Bob was riding through the woods on his way to town to purchase some supplies, including a nail. During the ride, his shoe fell off. He dismounted to retrieve the shoe, & his horse ran away. He ran after the horse, only to find that he had become lost in the woods.
38. As Bob was trying to find his way out of the woods, he grabbed & twig & bent it out of frustration. Suddenly, a tree next to him grew several inches.
39. Bob was so surprised at the fast growing tree that he began to rub his hand on a large oak tree. The tree suddenly fell over, as did several oak trees near it.
40. Surviving several bizarre occurrences, Bob finally got his bearings, & determined that if he took a nearby trail that was so narrow that it could only be traveled on foot, he would cut a mile off of his walk into town, where he would have to purchase his supplies, a new pair of shoes, & a horse. Before embarking on this trail, a woman rode up, & asked him if he wanted to ride with her into town. "Are you married?" Bob asked. "Why, no," answered the woman, as she blushed with a surprised smile.