The Mother of All Poems
This is an extremely long poem that was started one day by my internet brother
Adam then added on to my
his 'brutter'
Jon.
The two of them continued to add on, then I and a few other friends continued
ourselves. The whole thing is about 115 poems or so, and none are something
you would read a child to put them to bed. So sit back, put your feet up
and enjoy.
Paradox a book of poems
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 11:08
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: Paradox
Reality and Unreality
Where do they end?
Words have power
Words create pictures
Words create reality
Words undo reality
Where does the real truth lie?
The versions of reality hammer at your mind
Twisting and tearing until you can no longer be sure
Pain is in the end the only reality
Pain is always there
Pain is my companion
Pain tells me what is real
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 12:27
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Pain come to life,
Emotion come to bring me strife,
Tearing, twisting
Broken, twisted...
Spinning undone,
Fabric frays, and sick thoughts stray
To and fro,
Came and come
Reality be undone
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 12:38
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Seasons in the Abyss
A lifetime of Pain
Peice by peice
In a bloody rush
Dead skin mask
Hides the pain
Reign in blood
My heart explodes
South of Heaven
My permanent residence
Hell awaits
And I rush to to embrace
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 12:47
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Season in the Abyys,
And a life of pain,
In your wretched bliss,
Watch it shatter,
Nothing more than the heart's crimson rain
Pick up the pieces, and stitch them back together
The leathery toughness,
Scars weak as a feather,
And nothing so permanent,
Heaven and the Lake of Fire,
Or Hell's Streets of Gold
Embrace the pain,
Taste the wicked flame,
Emotion, frail childs game.....
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:07
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Pieces of Pain
All that remain
Living Death
Wishing for that last breath
The Reapers black tendrils stroke
The last shreds of life to choke
Scars wound me with hates Zeal
For my joy I they shall not heal
Heart disgorges life through festering rents
Peace for me fate had never meant
Hollow with in
No Soul remains
The last bright shreds
Swallowed by the army of the Dead
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:17
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Pieces of me,
Ripped out and thrown away,
Well oiled machine,
Spiteful and mean,
Tear out the soul,
And reach inside the hole
Pull out what yet remains,
Nothing...
Inside me,
Outside skin,
Scars to map my heart
And where it's been.....
Yanked from my chest,
Its sobbing beats wail,
Emotion no longer a threat,
My cells scream out to die
My heart soars with new life,
Pumped in, pumped up,
Bring in the pain,
Test the beast again.....
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:43
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Living machine
No Life with in
A mockery of Humanity
Pain pumps its Pistons
Liquid Hurt flows through its Veins
Deaths gaze
touches all
Breathing hate
Creating agony in all
Feeding others Pain
Nothing more to gain
Heartless blackened soul
Festering rotting touch
Disease of Strife
Spreading With its unlife
Cursed Avatar
Child Of Misery
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:50
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Judge me,
Call me mockery,
Think I like to be like this,
Believe I control it....
Breeding pain,
Living in misery,
Ripping the feeling out of everyone I touch,
King Midas did less harm....
Eating the cancer within your heart,
Hurting you more,
Hurting me too,
Pain twists my intent,
And nurtures the malignant touch....
The words you say are true,
And I am so cold now,
Where is the life I was promised,
Where is the salvation in heaven?
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:01
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Heaven is what you make
I have made my self a heaven of Agony
Hurt upon twisted shame
Burn me, cut me,
Whip me, Bleed me
This is my heaven
Happiness I have found
Within my self Hate
happiness at my realization
That to be a tortured soul
A pawn in this recurring game
A wanderer in my hellish heaven
Naked The flame I have embraced
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:13
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Come inside,
And let the angels kiss it better,
Barbed wire tongues, on razor blade lips......
Scarred, smashed,
Broken, destroyed,
Everything you ever desired in your life....
Grand rewards, awaiting the righteous,
Misery and pain await the wicked....
Come, taste your pain,
Its what you want,
Defines you,
Its all you are......
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:20
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Angelic
Beatific
Omnipotent
Demonic
Words that are how I feel
Bliss
Rapture
Infinite
Torturous
Share these with me
Know me as I know Myself
Let me Guide you throw my world
Let me be your guardian Angel
Let me Show you how Pleasure and Pain are the same
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:40
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Angelic, with the blackened eyes
Beautific, with the scabbed lips
Omnipotent, in my realms of ignorance
Demonic, with the purest of intents
Feelings, and what lies behind them....
Bliss, in the lair of ache
Rapture, intertwined in my hateful words
Infinite, and over before its begun
Torturous, the love inside us all
Here is my share,
Now show me what you offer.....
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:07
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: Offers
Offer?
I can give you nothing
You have all I am
You took all I wanted to be
You raped all that I once was
You never asked
You never warned
You struck me
You nailed me to a cross
Made of My own failure
Now I hang
For all to see
Look at me
Leper messiah
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:19
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Offers
Here it is,
The new god,
Deity personified,
Bow to Leper Messiah,
Stapled up there,
Spread open, take a look,
Here's his faults,
And lets not forget,
There are the failures.....
Bow to Leper Messiah
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:19
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
You told me to wrap my wings around your heart
when I tried, you pulled them off...
letting me bleed till I was dead.
It was one night of sin, you made us both to pay.
Never would I have done that to you.
Never would I have turned my back to you.
Never, never, never......
Now I am on the ground dying
The blood I spilled, it was for you..
all for you.
I don't want it no more, no more....
Mount my wings on the wall,
look at them as you once did me.
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:31
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
It was never the glory of your wings
It was the glory of You
I looked beneath the skin
I saw the soul within
I never wanted your Physicality
I wanted you just you
I Thought you understood
I thought I knew it all
I was wrong
I wanted the security of love
But I feared the agony of pain
My fear's became reality
you walked away
I want you to stay
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:54
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Perfect what has been done
Finish the job....
You wanted my soul,
now it is yours.
I thought you only wanted
what you saw.
I never knew you wanted what I hid.
Now it is yours.
What will you do with it?
What will you do with me?
What will you do with my wings?
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:59
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
I will embrace you with my soul
I will cherish yours
I will never want
I will only love
never crave
Passion and desire I will feel
But Let me unclip those wings
I will watch you fly free
Hoping that in your Joy
You will not forget me
Fly free
Perhaps if you want
Take me with you
Show me your world
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:53
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Giving up
Is all you ever do
I am not worthy of your Love
I am not worthy of second chances
I am not worthy of trying
I am worthless
I am not worthy of your pity
I don't want your Pity
I want you
Always you
Never me
Never
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:07
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Once I claimed that I was youaress of pain......
Inhaling you, tasting you on my tongue,
Offering myselfsoulsanity to you
I live for this moment,
The glorious evolution of my heart
Your lips on mine
My lips on you.......
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:02
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
To want me is to want death
To kiss me is to taste anahilation
To touch me is to feel hate
To love me is to embrace pain
You ask me to give to you love
You want to be close
You wish to feed sides of the mirror,
They're more than just reflections,
Which side is you, and which is me?
What is all this, I cannot clearly see.....
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:15
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Through a curtain of misery
doused in the pain.
The call to arms,
I hear the battle
Men scream,
women cry.
They all will die.
Touch me, wrap me....
I am the child of neglect
the child of no mercy,
child of hate,
of pain,
terror....
They trieMarch 1997 14:45
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Worship the false god
Pray for the gift of love
Take what he gives you
Blinded by faith
Nothing else matters
Till the false god rips his price from you
shattering your ambitions
Foreclosing on your dream.
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:06
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Gods can be real, but are they there?
Is their pain the same as ours?
I care no longer
as I breath no longer.
love needs the caring to make it substance
The care needs the breath, to be alive,
The breath needs the feeling to bother to be there at all......
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:25
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Here's the new great thing,
Let's just fall in love,
It lasts forever,
Or until it feels like forever....
"Trust in me, says the liar to the fool"
Take my hand, hold on tight,
I wont let you fall....
Until I decide I'm done,
Thon
Sharpened on pain
I walk with my weapon
I lay my friends and fammily to wadte
I am the weapon of my misery
My soul cuts like a thousand swords
the spears of Love snap under the tempered metal
Oh How I try to stop
But the killing feilds are my home
The way of death is my nature
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:30
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Blade of my soul
Cold forges no longer ring
The steel is now dead
All the killing it wrought,
Its servicd;
I love you, for now and ever,
Remembering that someone I left behind,
My selfish reasons covered in soft lies
"Its better for you"
to not see me tear this piece of myself...
"I want this to be easier for you"
than if you knew what I'm about to do....
"I don't want to hurt you anymore"
So I let go right now, before the hurting time comes....
Now here you are, watching me writhe,
Lend me a hand, you said you wanted to be there,
Pull me out, or push me all the way in,
A decision, before I dieh just a bit more....
I have one ounce of self respect, I only wanted you to try a little,
I miss you every day,
And pine every night,
Just tell ponder this;
Was the fun worth destroying me?
yeah, for me it hurt real fun.....
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:59
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
I come in many forms....
Never the same form twice,
though all my forms as familiar
as the rain.
I come to you....
Many times when you need me not,
though you wing
Love passes through me like radiation
Searing its Blackened shadow upon me
Burning me with the radiactive fires
Leaving nothing for me to hold
Ashes in my mouth
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:31
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Love in my arms,
Here, just come get it...
This is Love,
Come on, I wouldnt lie to you 12 times in a row.....
Here's a little bit,
See, it tastes good,
Now take a big bite,
Fool, if this were a garden, you'd be EiZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:34
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Fools rush in,
And I barely tread,
In suffering anew,
Prove to myself, I am not yet dead
You claim foolishness,
Yet, when did you taste this pain?
Was it yours, or mine to give,
Did it come from here, or was it already there?
From: merced
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 16:19
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Pain from here
Pain from there
It's all the samem: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:45
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Words of poison,
Dreams of acid,
You think to control me,
I let you live your fantasy...
Turn me outside in,
Twist me like a spiral...
In the end, you will lose,
Toy, plaything, pet.......
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:25
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Wretched, its what I make you
Loved, is how I make you feel
Hurt, Something is pain
and they will always be the same
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 12:54
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
This life is hurt,
And all hurt is born
Pain promise
All of it is nothing more
Than everything forever
Hidden,
Right in plain sight
Ugly,
As beautiful as a mothers first child
Plotting,
But only the things you crave
Twins born of late,
Emotion love to hate
From: ArLenny
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:01
To: Vampire Th would lose the love?
You need not try again,
It seduces you in its web
Pulls you in,
To bleed you all over, my friend
From: ArLenny
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:14
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
What is love for me
one that seems to not care
how far it is from reality
that it seems to cave in
the spider seduces you in
then bleeds you thin
but i have no friends
they are seized within
so i must cry
for all my pain
cause all i had left
was drained
Arlenny
The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
oh brother i fear
that it is lost for me
there is no love
and there is no hope
in this soul of mine
oh brother i thank thee
for trying to be good
but i see no light
the tunnel is closed
it must be in for repair
brother of mine you see
that there is no hope for me
so give up now
save yourself
before you see the end as me
Arlenny
RE: Paradox
brother sweet brother
you never give up on me
you make me see
that you are the soul of me
brother how blind am i
not to see
that light in your eyes
brother let me lean
on the strong shoulder of thee
cause together i see
that i will be set free
thank you brother for now
the hope is not gone
and neither is yee
the soul i depend on
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:56
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Sweet little sister,
Ofuerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
I look in the mirror
and i see apart of you
and the two of us together
in a world of shimering blue
that one day i will feel
this love i have for you
and the way you see me around
i the way i she me too
how much you care for me, brother
i care for you the same
if you ever feel yourself down, brother
just come to me
you are my friend, brother
and i am yours
but what else we need, brother
is a friend in others too
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:51
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Heroes die,
And the end credits roll,
Love was lost, with whispered words
We bring it on ourselves.....
Here are pieces,
Was that your heart, or mine?
Here's a piece, see how it fits....
I hear the faint strains of music,
Will you walk with me,
And see if the song is familiar?
From: ArLenny
Date: Thursday, 20 March 1997 02:16
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
all heros are gitical embrace
Nothing for me to need
Need creates pain
You cannot have what you want
Pain is Life
Without it you are dead
From: ArLenny
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:17
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
pain leads to hate
hate for oneself
hate for ones life
hate for ones soul
then there is no more
no reason to live
if all you do is hate
for the way that you have sined
but you say you did not sine
but you say you feel only pain
then look in the mirror
From: ArLenny
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:34
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Then dead am I
and dead am yee
for if i don't feel
and neither do thee
then i am forever lost
in the turmoil of pain
but the pain is gone
i feel no more
so what is left of me?
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:38
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
The pain does not leave,
And will not die,
The feelings may go numb,
But the nernot even my own
if i am so bold
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:53
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Fire Cleanses
Fire is Pain
Pain is Cleanses
Cleanliness
Some people live to clean
Always terilizing their Lives
Wash the pain away
But the stain remians
The Stain of My Pain
Fiery Pain
From: ArLenny
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:06
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
the wax wings of Icarus melted
when pride covered his me
I was raised by angelic wings not of my making
Lifted upon the winds of Love
But I did not trust the bearer
And when I fell
It was I who was at fault
She did not let go
I twisted from her
In my fear of her arms
In my fear she would hurt me
I fell consumed by pain of my own creation.
From: merced
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:38
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: The fall
The fear of love
the fear of lies
the fear of pain
that you fear is near
still ever reachimade, unless they are intended.....
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:54
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: The fall
See the boy plummet,
Watch his glorious fall,
Like a phoenix fell from the heavens,
He will rise again, and fall again, and rise....
What arrogance is this,
We think to shield ourselves from its fate,
All the while praying for its glory...
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:52
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subjecnd Aphradite had her praise
but what of all the people that died
from the pride of one mans eyes
the battle of Troy was forged
cause of that apple of gold
and Paris went back home
after having been told
he heard of Helens beauty
one that he must have
that he sailed across the sea
and stole her from her land
she learned to love her captor
for he really was do one
the golden apple in his hand
had won her, second to none
Troy now is pieces
it's not even all there
all we have is a memorFrom: merced
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 17:25
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Fiery pain
buried deep
embers of white
singe my soul
and make it weep
Tears like rain
to myself I keep
til the morning light
the pain then will go
back down deep
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:00
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Pandora's box,
Yeah, its open now...
And look what died inside,
Hope,
Left there and forgotten,
Eong
and sang it's song
then left me all alone
you crushed it
It is no more
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:56
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Here is my song,
Hear, it is my pain,
Freely shared,
Freely given,
And freely I accept yours,
Put in onto me, I cant hurt anymore than I do now....
From: ArLenny
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:14
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
hope can't live
not in my heart
its almostruth and in deed,
It hopes again, for someone less beautiful, to show its pretty wares....
The air around you tingles,
Hope keeps around,
Like a moth to a flame,
Not always noticed, but everywhere you go.....
From: ArLenny
Date: Thursday, 20 March 1997 02:25
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Then let me see it with my eyes
the hope is not there
I swear that i can not see it
or care to let it in
I gave up on that string
that tied me to the earth
so now i flos of love are dead.
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:46
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Pain is My friend
He knows me well
He lives with me
He breaths with me
He breeds with in me
Pain and I are siamese twins
Born together
forced to live as one
Pain is my mother
Pain is My lover
Pain is my childe
Pian is me
Pain is My world
Pain is My friend
From: ArLenny
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:52
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Parado my gaze
And see the empty black
From: ArLenny
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:24
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Soul?
So your soul is gone
so is mine
for similar reasons it seems
why are we so blind
i lost it to my love
then the pain decended on me
the stake right through my heart
this can not be...
i died right there on the spot
and i still no not live
so how can i right this if i died
in truth i never really lived
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 1not have laughed with out crying
"To live is to die"
Never more true words are there
You cannot love with out pain
For you need each the other to compare
But for some there is more of one than the other
Embrace it
Love it
make it you
For you will have nothing else
when all is said and done.
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:02
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Soul?
From my left hand come
The seven sisters of pain
From my right hand come
Seven more tnot desert you, it loves us all too much.....
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:04
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Yes, I am your friend
Yes, I know you inside out
I live with you,
And I breathe in you....
But I'm not your twin,
And I was born long before you,
I came to you, and held you in my arms...
I bring you what your life does not,
I touch you in ways a person cannot
You hold me closer each day...
Where do you end, and where do I begin?
e: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:10
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Sweet little child,
So naive,
So beautiful....
You provide for me,
You are provided by me,
Yes, I will always have you,
and dont ever forget,
I wont leave you,
But if I do
What do you have left?
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:20
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Well placed words,
Tearing my self apart,
My need for it so strong,
My ache lies wituld Be Bliss
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:07
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Isn't it so easy to see,
Your pain is killing you,
Your whats killing me...
I try and try,
I cry and cry,
Misery is here,
And hse brought Pain and Hate along too...
They take me in their velvet arms
Hold me up, give me strength....
My ladies in waiting,
I love the sirens call.......
From: ArLenny
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:19
To: Vampire The Masqus arms,
Velvet,
Spinning a silken bed for me to lie upon...
Why would I leave?
They hold me when weak,
They make me strong,
Lovers, and liars,
Two become one......
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:33
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Misery
trapped in purgatory
My soul a lifeless object
Nothing remains of me
except me
Me and My dead skin
Flesh rotting on my bones
The resurrection of Love never to be mine.
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 12
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
This is for my little lie
This is for my dying heart
This is for the love I killed
This is for truth that I never saw
This is for you
I still wish to hold you
I still wish to kiss you
I still wish to love you
This is for the pain
This is for the hate
This is for the angist
I still wish death
I still wish death
I still wish death......
From: TheBM
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 12:42
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: ject: RE: Paradox
Oh, where do the gods run when they have pain?
Where do they hide from the bitter lies?
Within the hands of morbid untrust
the bitterness of cold cold truth comes forth
makes for the wounds to run deep.
Ahhh....
I have seen the death of a many love,
I have felt the torturous exisitance of love,
I know where that paradox lies.
Have you seen the scars?
Do you know me?
Where do the gods run when they have pain?
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:29
Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Read between the lies
No way to tell what is and is not
words spake as truth are not
How do you tell?
You cannot
Lies are like Flies from a bloated carcass
Mixed together
Lost within the mess
No pattern
The stink of corruption
Twisting the scent of truth
From: merced
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:31
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Darkness
Comes the darkness
Comes my friend
Let me hide in your shadows
let the pain pass
they hide in the blackness of the abyss
calling me,
calling you,
calling us.
I streach to you for dearest life and limb,
needing you to pull me back
pull me away from the self destruction
But you care not,
running from the voices inside your head
the shame that you felt that night
that shame you try to hide...
It kills me,
It is me.
I am that shame.
Slipping down into the velvet darkness...
I don't care anymore
let them consume from me what they will.
Pain breeds in my belly
I will carry the child of your shame,
deny me as you will.
LET THE FEEDING BEGIN
I am lost to the darkness.
gone.
j³{-Tq„†±³ÅÜò(U‹²Èqq
:u ÈÞúüþ>[rtˆª1/2ÑÓå
(;=?Qx• Paradox a book of poems
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 11:08
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: Paradox
Reality and Unreality
Where do they end?
Words have power
Words create pictures
Words create reality
Words undo reality
Where does the real truth lie?
The versions of reality hammer at your mind
Twisting and tearing until you can no longer be sure
Pain is in the end the only reality
Pain is always there
Pain is my companion
Pain tells me what is real
Fskin mask
Hides the pain
Reign in blood
My heart explodes
South of Heaven
My permanent residence
Hell awaits
And I rush to to embrace
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 12:47
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Season in the Abyys,
And a life of pain,
In your wretched bliss,
Watch it shatter,
Nothing more than the heart's crimson rain
Pick up the pieces, and stitch them back together
The leathery toughness,
Scars weak as a feather,
And nothing so rents
Peace for me fate had never meant
Hollow with in
No Soul remains
The last bright shreds
Swallowed by the army of the Dead
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:17
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Pieces of me,
Ripped out and thrown away,
Well oiled machine,
Spiteful and mean,
Tear out the soul,
And reach inside the hole
Pull out what yet remains,
Nothing...
Inside me,
Outside skin,
Scars to map my heart
And where it's been.....
Ying others Pain
Nothing more to gain
Heartless blackened soul
Festering rotting touch
Disease of Strife
Spreading With its unlife
Cursed Avatar
Child Of Misery
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:50
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Judge me,
Call me mockery,
Think I like to be like this,
Believe I control it....
Breeding pain,
Living in misery,
Ripping the feeling out of everyone I touch,
King Midas did less harm....
Eating the cancer wit have found
Within my self Hate
happiness at my realization
That to be a tortured soul
A pawn in this recurring game
A wanderer in my hellish heaven
Naked The flame I have embraced
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:13
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Come inside,
And let the angels kiss it better,
Barbed wire tongues, on razor blade lips......
Scarred, smashed,
Broken, destroyed,
Everything you ever desired in your life....
Grand rewards, in are the same
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:40
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Angelic, with the blackened eyes
Beautific, with the scabbed lips
Omnipotent, in my realms of ignorance
Demonic, with the purest of intents
Feelings, and what lies behind them....
Bliss, in the lair of ache
Rapture, intertwined in my hateful words
Infinite, and over before its begun
Torturous, the love inside us all
Here is my share,
Now show me what you offer. is,
The new god,
Deity personified,
Bow to Leper Messiah,
Stapled up there,
Spread open, take a look,
Here's his faults,
And lets not forget,
There are the failures.....
Bow to Leper Messiah
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:19
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
You told me to wrap my wings around your heart
when I tried, you pulled them off...
letting me bleed till I was dead.
It was one night of sin, you made us both to pay.
Never would I have ded your Physicality
I wanted you just you
I Thought you understood
I thought I knew it all
I was wrong
I wanted the security of love
But I feared the agony of pain
My fear's became reality
you walked away
I want you to stay
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:54
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Perfect what has been done
Finish the job....
You wanted my soul,
now it is yours.
I thought you only wanted
what you saw.
I never knew you wanted what I hid.
Show me your world
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:53
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Giving up
Is all you ever do
I am not worthy of your Love
I am not worthy of second chances
I am not worthy of trying
I am worthless
I am not worthy of your pity
I don't want your Pity
I want you
Always you
Never me
Never
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:07
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Once I claimed that I was youaress of pain......
Inhaling you, tasting you on my tongue,
Offering myselfsoulsanity to you
I live for this moment,
The glorious evolution of my heart
Your lips on mine
My lips on you.......
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:02
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
To want me is to want death
To kiss me is to taste anahilation
To touch me is to feel hate
To love me is to embrace pain
You ask me to give to you love
You want to be close
You wish to feed Paradox a book of poems
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 11:08
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: Paradox
Reality and Unreality
Where do they end?
Words have power
Words create pictures
Words create reality
Words undo reality
Where does the real truth lie?
The versions of reality hammer at your mind
Twisting and tearing until you can no longer be sure
Pain is in the end the only reality
Pain is always there
Pain is my companion
Pain tells me what is real
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 12:27
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Pain come to life,
Emotion come to bring me strife,
Tearing, twisting
Broken, twisted...
Spinning undone,
Fabric frays, and sick thoughts stray
To and fro,
Came and come
Reality be undone
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 12:38
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Seasons in the Abyss
A lifetime of Pain
Peice by peice
In a bloody rush
Dead skin mask
Hides the pain
Reign in blood
My heart explodes
South of Heaven
My permanent residence
Hell awaits
And I rush to to embrace
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 12:47
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Season in the Abyys,
And a life of pain,
In your wretched bliss,
Watch it shatter,
Nothing more than the heart's crimson rain
Pick up the pieces, and stitch them back together
The leathery toughness,
Scars weak as a feather,
And nothing so permanent,
Heaven and the Lake of Fire,
Or Hell's Streets of Gold
Embrace the pain,
Taste the wicked flame,
Emotion, frail childs game.....
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:07
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Pieces of Pain
All that remain
Living Death
Wishing for that last breath
The Reapers black tendrils stroke
The last shreds of life to choke
Scars wound me with hates Zeal
For my joy I they shall not heal
Heart disgorges life through festering rents
Peace for me fate had never meant
Hollow with in
No Soul remains
The last bright shreds
Swallowed by the army of the Dead
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:17
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Pieces of me,
Ripped out and thrown away,
Well oiled machine,
Spiteful and mean,
Tear out the soul,
And reach inside the hole
Pull out what yet remains,
Nothing...
Inside me,
Outside skin,
Scars to map my heart
And where it's been.....
Yanked from my chest,
Its sobbing beats wail,
Emotion no longer a threat,
My cells scream out to die
My heart soars with new life,
Pumped in, pumped up,
Bring in the pain,
Test the beast again.....
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:43
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Living machine
No Life with in
A mockery of Humanity
Pain pumps its Pistons
Liquid Hurt flows through its Veins
Deaths gaze
touches all
Breathing hate
Creating agony in all
Feeding others Pain
Nothing more to gain
Heartless blackened soul
Festering rotting touch
Disease of Strife
Spreading With its unlife
Cursed Avatar
Child Of Misery
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:50
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Judge me,
Call me mockery,
Think I like to be like this,
Believe I control it....
Breeding pain,
Living in misery,
Ripping the feeling out of everyone I touch,
King Midas did less harm....
Eating the cancer within your heart,
Hurting you more,
Hurting me too,
Pain twists my intent,
And nurtures the malignant touch....
The words you say are true,
And I am so cold now,
Where is the life I was promised,
Where is the salvation in heaven?
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:01
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Heaven is what you make
I have made my self a heaven of Agony
Hurt upon twisted shame
Burn me, cut me,
Whip me, Bleed me
This is my heaven
Happiness I have found
Within my self Hate
happiness at my realization
That to be a tortured soul
A pawn in this recurring game
A wanderer in my hellish heaven
Naked The flame I have embraced
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:13
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Come inside,
And let the angels kiss it better,
Barbed wire tongues, on razor blade lips......
Scarred, smashed,
Broken, destroyed,
Everything you ever desired in your life....
Grand rewards, awaiting the righteous,
Misery and pain await the wicked....
Come, taste your pain,
Its what you want,
Defines you,
Its all you are......
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:20
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Angelic
Beatific
Omnipotent
Demonic
Words that are how I feel
Bliss
Rapture
Infinite
Torturous
Share these with me
Know me as I know Myself
Let me Guide you throw my world
Let me be your guardian Angel
Let me Show you how Pleasure and Pain are the same
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:40
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Angelic, with the blackened eyes
Beautific, with the scabbed lips
Omnipotent, in my realms of ignorance
Demonic, with the purest of intents
Feelings, and what lies behind them....
Bliss, in the lair of ache
Rapture, intertwined in my hateful words
Infinite, and over before its begun
Torturous, the love inside us all
Here is my share,
Now show me what you offer.....
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:07
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: Offers
Offer?
I can give you nothing
You have all I am
You took all I wanted to be
You raped all that I once was
You never asked
You never warned
You struck me
You nailed me to a cross
Made of My own failure
Now I hang
For all to see
Look at me
Leper messiah
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:19
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Offers
Here it is,
The new god,
Deity personified,
Bow to Leper Messiah,
Stapled up there,
Spread open, take a look,
Here's his faults,
And lets not forget,
There are the failures.....
Bow to Leper Messiah
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:19
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
You told me to wrap my wings around your heart
when I tried, you pulled them off...
letting me bleed till I was dead.
It was one night of sin, you made us both to pay.
Never would I have done that to you.
Never would I have turned my back to you.
Never, never, never......
Now I am on the ground dying
The blood I spilled, it was for you..
all for you.
I don't want it no more, no more....
Mount my wings on the wall,
look at them as you once did me.
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:31
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
It was never the glory of your wings
It was the glory of You
I looked beneath the skin
I saw the soul within
I never wanted your Physicality
I wanted you just you
I Thought you understood
I thought I knew it all
I was wrong
I wanted the security of love
But I feared the agony of pain
My fear's became reality
you walked away
I want you to stay
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:54
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Perfect what has been done
Finish the job....
You wanted my soul,
now it is yours.
I thought you only wanted
what you saw.
I never knew you wanted what I hid.
Now it is yours.
What will you do with it?
What will you do with me?
What will you do with my wings?
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:59
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
I will embrace you with my soul
I will cherish yours
I will never want
I will only love
never crave
Passion and desire I will feel
But Let me unclip those wings
I will watch you fly free
Hoping that in your Joy
You will not forget me
Fly free
Perhaps if you want
Take me with you
Show me your world
From: Sanction_
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:53
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Giving up
Is all you ever do
I am not worthy of your Love
I am not worthy of second chances
I am not worthy of trying
I am worthless
I am not worthy of your pity
I don't want your Pity
I want you
Always you
Never me
Never
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:07
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Once I claimed that I was youaress of pain......
Inhaling you, tasting you on my tongue,
Offering myselfsoulsanity to you
I live for this moment,
The glorious evolution of my heart
Your lips on mine
My lips on you.......
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:02
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
To want me is to want death
To kiss me is to taste anahilation
To touch me is to feel hate
To love me is to embrace pain
You ask me to give to you love
You want to be close
You wish to feed sides of the mirror,
They're more than just reflections,
Which side is you, and which is me?
What is all this, I cannot clearly see.....
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:15
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Through a curtain of misery
doused in the pain.
The call to arms,
I hear the battle
Men scream,
women cry.
They all will die.
Touch me, wrap me....
I am the child of neglect
the child of no mercy,
child of hate,
of pain,
terror....
They trieMarch 1997 14:45
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Worship the false god
Pray for the gift of love
Take what he gives you
Blinded by faith
Nothing else matters
Till the false god rips his price from you
shattering your ambitions
Foreclosing on your dream.
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:06
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Gods can be real, but are they there?
Is their pain the same as ours?
I care no longer
as I breath no longer.
love needs the caring to make it substance
The care needs the breath, to be alive,
The breath needs the feeling to bother to be there at all......
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:25
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Here's the new great thing,
Let's just fall in love,
It lasts forever,
Or until it feels like forever....
"Trust in me, says the liar to the fool"
Take my hand, hold on tight,
I wont let you fall....
Until I decide I'm done,
Thon
Sharpened on pain
I walk with my weapon
I lay my friends and fammily to wadte
I am the weapon of my misery
My soul cuts like a thousand swords
the spears of Love snap under the tempered metal
Oh How I try to stop
But the killing feilds are my home
The way of death is my nature
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:30
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Blade of my soul
Cold forges no longer ring
The steel is now dead
All the killing it wrought,
Its servicd;
I love you, for now and ever,
Remembering that someone I left behind,
My selfish reasons covered in soft lies
"Its better for you"
to not see me tear this piece of myself...
"I want this to be easier for you"
than if you knew what I'm about to do....
"I don't want to hurt you anymore"
So I let go right now, before the hurting time comes....
Now here you are, watching me writhe,
Lend me a hand, you said you wanted to be there,
Pull me out, or push me all the way in,
A decision, before I dieh just a bit more....
I have one ounce of self respect, I only wanted you to try a little,
I miss you every day,
And pine every night,
Just tell ponder this;
Was the fun worth destroying me?
yeah, for me it hurt real fun.....
From: Malacki
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 13:59
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
I come in many forms....
Never the same form twice,
though all my forms as familiar
as the rain.
I come to you....
Many times when you need me not,
though you wing
Love passes through me like radiation
Searing its Blackened shadow upon me
Burning me with the radiactive fires
Leaving nothing for me to hold
Ashes in my mouth
From: JoniZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 14:31
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Love in my arms,
Here, just come get it...
This is Love,
Come on, I wouldnt lie to you 12 times in a row.....
Here's a little bit,
See, it tastes good,
Now take a big bite,
Fool, if this were a garden, you'd be EiZm_P_Bitchly
Date: Wednesday, 19 March 1997 15:34
To: Vampire The Masquerade
Subject: RE: Paradox
Foo
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