My Ideas

• The last thing I want to do is make life a living hell for any woman...mostly because girls are better at it than I am.
  
• Sometimes I wish some people were as smart as I am.
  
• Wouldn't that suck if leather had the consistency of chocolate? Every time you took your wallet out of your pocket...on the other hand, it would make cows more appealing--you could eath their insides AND their outsides.
  
• Honey, I really don't want to talk about my procrastination problem right now...
  
• He was living proof that there's still money in tractor pulls.
  
• I'm all for respecting the dead, but how about some respect for the living? Like me, for example?
  
• She was a glamorous paradox--her hair had body, her body no hair.
  
• I AM NOT IN DENIAL!!!!!
  
• I have too much dignity to be on "Wheel of Fortune".
  
• If I were in your shoes, I'd've taken them off by now.
  
• You can lead a horse to drink, but you can't make him water.
  
• Nothing is more important, more insightful, more needed and often more insulting than the advice of more experienced persons.
  
• Time flows like a river. Jump in and go with the flow. Who cares if you get wet? I don't.
  
• To act on thoughts is to solidify them.
  
• I am too few and too proud to be a Marine.
  
• Cash in your reality check before it expires.
  
• I think people are afraid of losing. It haunts them all of their lives and they forget to admire the smaller successes of life.
  
• It takes a child to raze a village.
  
• The scorn of many to just one is not nearly as painful as the scorn of one to many. Or of one to just one in love.
  
• Is there anyone who isn't proud to be an American? I know ther is. But being American is about change, variety, freedom and success. So if you don't like being American, why are you just sitting around on your butt and writing poetry? Get up, you lazy bum!
  
• What doesn't kill a person hurts like hell.
  
• I believe Congresspersons should be paid a salary equal to the mean salary of the district they represent. That'll make them rethink their priorities.
  
• Do you know what is really scary? Katie and I are twins!
  
• Ever look at a quarter that was older than you were and wonder, "Where has that quarter been? Where did it come from? Whose pocket has it been it? Who was shot while tossing it in the air?"
  
• Do you believe in hell? Yes? Then I suggest you go there...
  
• You know what's weird? There is no clause in the U.S. Constitution or its amendments that provides freedom of language. That means it is not a right that citizens have. Since it is not a right, then it's either a crime or a privelege. And since it's not illegal, then it must be a privelege. If it's a privelege, then the U.S. Government (the people) can take it away if it is abused!
  
• There is no greater pain than the dissatisfaction of not being able to finish a soda.
  
• You know what's cool? Walking on snow that doesn't give way under your weight...that's cool.
  
• There are only three people worse than a pretty rich girl with a bad attitude: one is her protective mother, one his her spoiling father, and the third is Rush Limbaugh. I can't stand Rush Limbaugh.
  
• I'm not a trend setter, I'm a trend pointer.