HA HA OTTAWA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I RULE!
04/26
As the title implies, I'm gloating in the face of anyone foolish enough to lend their support to the Ottawa Senators. For those not informed in the whole hockey scheme of things, the Leafs rule, and Ottawa is destoryed. Yes, destoryed. I'll explain about that in just a second. First, a graphical representation of my gloating:
MWAHAHA.... Little do they know that from down here I can break their knees even easier!
DESTORYED: HOW TO MANGLE WORDS IN OLD CGA GAMES
Anyhow, as for the whole destoryed thing, it comes from this ancient computer game I once played excessively with my friend called "Chopper". It was really old, really ugly, and everytime you blew something up, it would say "Destroyed whatever".... usually another chopper, sometimes a building, often yourself. Or at least it tried to say destroyed. However, it had the unfortunate habit of saying "Destoryed" since evidently the programmers didn't take the time to spellcheck it. Tough luck, I suppose. Don't bother trying to find it, since any search you try will invariably get you a million results. However, if you do happen to find it, email me... I must have it! Ahem. Anyhow, I highly recommend old games, cuz you can play them for days and not get bored.
No, this isn't Chopper... it IS, however, Chopper Command, an Atari game of dubious quality and extreme orange hues. I dunno what made people think these colours looked good in the 70s and 80s... they must look good when you're high or something. Anyhow, to download a game like this, click the picture.
DISTURBINGLY PORNOGRAPHIC URL OF THE DAY:
www.jacktheripper.com
Another sort of choppers... at least, they probably are at 6 bucks a haircut.
Note: I do not condone pornographic material in anyway. Also note that geocities does not promote pornography. This link may cost me my head, so I didn't link it. Supercuts could cost you your head, so I did link it.
WHY GORD ASH KEEPS HIS JOB
Now THAT's a chopper! In Mozambique, apparently, judging from the title of this .gif. Reuters does good work, no?
You'll recall from my last update that the Blue Jays, a Toronto baseball team of some repute, had started the season rather pitifully with a 4-9 record. Since then, however, they've managed to go 6-3, and scored a disgusting number of runs to disguise the fact that they really don't have very much pitching. This unfortunate habit of offensive outburst means that Gord Ash remains employed. On the upside, when they lose, they still lose badly :).
SCHOOL SHOOTINGS, STABBINGS, AND ASSORTED OTHER THINGS THAT DON'T BELONG IN SCHOOLS
In the past couple of weeks, a small furour rose over the anniversary of the Columbine massacre. While I personally don't particularly care to hear how ancient video games inspired lunatics to rampage through their schools with guns, it does strike me as interesting that people seem to be branching out a little in their choice of massacre locations. No longer satisfied with the classroom, in the past little while we've had outbreaks of homicidal mania in an old folks home and a zoo. This strikes me as interesting; perhaps the lunatics in question, realizing they wouldn't be quite as newsworthy were they to end their pointless crusades in a schoolyard, met with journalists prior to going out in a blaze of unglory to determine where the best location would be. Lord knows Americans bore pretty easily, so you had to figure that schools would lose their thrill. Maybe the old ladies will gang up on zookeepers now for not portraying lions as kinder and gentler, and while they're at it, weed the psychotic, umbrella-weilding grannies from their own ranks in an effort to make a more positive impression on society and scale back on the whole retirement home violence scene. On the other hand, all they're good at is complaining anyway, so actual action is probably unlikely on the whole old lady front. Besides, the old lady from Looney Tunes rules!
She looks like a real sweetheart here, but give her an Uzi and....
Now these are good lions... They'd never hurt a fly! All that retouching has made them soft >:(
AND, TO FINISH OFF...
So, what does the future hold in store? Well, I got accepted into U of T, so I guess that's one thing. I also have to work all weekend next weekend, so I'm kind of pissed off about that... screw you, Leon's! Anyway, next time I update, I promise there'll be more actual talkings-about, and maybe even that quote page I was talking about before. Until then, this is it, and remember... nah, I don't actually have anything inspiring to say. Besides, I might just be coming down with hanta virus due to all the mice in my damned kitchen, so I may just never write again.
SOME INSPIRATION, SINCE THERE WAS NONE ABOVE:
"If you got no legs, you gotta get a guy to push you around till you get... fake legs." - Doug Annan
With a logo this big, you need 4 parts... Apparently. Cursed sale...
Look how bored I am! Send me email!
Go Home! Inmediately!