THERE'S A MOUSE IN MY GARBAGE
05/08- Yep. You heard it here first... There's a mouse in my garbage, rooting about among the trash, rustling around and generally making a lot of noise. Annoying, no? The worst part is I keep thinking there's someone back there. At any rate, I was gonna update yesterday, but I got lazy and just tacked that other section on instead. Ah.. well. What can you do?
I'm amazed by how well that fit. What was rather disturbing was when I tried to find a picture of a mouse to share, I got several links for bestiality sites. Come on! Nobody can be that deviant, and besides... how can that possibly work? The sheer logistics would be enough to put me off (notwithstanding the whole that's a mouse and I'm a human thing).
AND SPEAKING OF MICE...
Six shots? Six? That disgusts me so much I can't even scrape together the sentences needed to berate the parties involved. Suffice to say that I hope every Leaf forward has a horrible season of golf. Not only is that an NHL record, it's pathetic, they gave up a goal 18 seconds in, and they didn't even score on one of the six. I salute the crappiness that was that game, and hope Steve Stavros buys up enough players in the offseason to make up for this travesty. That is all. No more talk of Leafs. Until October, at any rate, when I come crawling back.
...And you call yourselves a team...GO BACK TO RUSSIA! .. Oh, wait... the teams there would probably beat you too.
AND SPEAKING OF IDIOTS... WHY PEOPLE SHOULD BE LESS STUPID(AND AGREE WITH ME)
You know what's really annoying? I was wasting time this morning, putting off going to school and such, when I happened across a Yahoo message board. Actually, it was a rating for a movie- Gladiator. Now, I'm not suggesting that people aren't entitled to their opinions, but when I scrolled down and looked at the ratings, every single one was four or five- except for two, which had decided to give the movie one star. I decided to read these, and one of the two said " PS- I decided to give this one star because I feel your reviews are biased." Biased? Biased? What kind of idiot does that? If a bunch of people have said that the movie is good and that it deserves a good rating, then how does coming along and skewing that entire set of ratings even qualify as fixing things? This guy pretty much admitted he liked the movie, and yet he lowballs it in the name of equanimity. It just doesn't make sense statistically. Moron... anyway, wicked movie :) .
Russell Crowe after hearing about this outrage(or winning a fight in the movie... I forget which, exactly) A good movie, in any case(and not because some Romans decided to throw pots of pitch at Barbarians, which is apparent cause for unbridled joy in some circles).
AND SPEAKING OF MOVIES...
You know what's classic? Any movie which includes the following lines:
"California!"
"He touched my breast!"
"You smell like shit!"
Now, on their own, any of these seem lame, but when you consider their sources are 11-year olds, it becomes a little funnier. These are all excerpts from the cherished childhood classic / blatant propaganda piece, The Wizard, a movie released by Nintendo (and MGM, I think... not as though that matters, particularly) ostensibly to promote the virtues of persistence, love and hope, but realistically to promote its then-new video game, Super Mario Brothers 3(a classic in its own right). Having first seen it at the age of 9, I was immediately awestruck by this cinematic masterpiece, and saw it again when it came out on video, and then went on hiatus for about five years. Then CBC bought the TV license to it for a year, so I got to see it two more times. Then I began a ritual of renting it biannually. The upshot of all this pointless preamble is that Roger's lost their copy, (presumably) the only existing one of this gem! Now what can I do? It's a pressing issue. If you ever see this movie, snap it up quickly. It's actually quite a good representation of the late eighties and early nineties(which handily excuses its incidental shittiness). At any rate, I continue to search, hoping... hoping.
..Fine, I admit it... I made up this whole writeup just to justify having this picture in my files, which I just didn't have the heart to get rid of. On the other hand, with a cover like that, how can you go wrong?
It should be noted that the above term "Starlets" is something of a misnomer, as this girl is quite obviously destined to become a short-long. Curious about the term? Visit www.mulletsgalore.com- you'll soon discover the score. At any rate, we affectionately came to know her as the "hot dog", a reference to her obvious qualities of hottiness, as well as doglike appearance (ironic, no?) Anyway, here's some visual images, just to prove I didn't make up that movie cover or anything.
AND SPEAKING OF HOT DOGS...
I'm hungry... wah. Anyway, I'll leave off here by compiling an assortment of unrelated material(not that there's any significant difference between that and the above). That's about all I've got for now... it seems waiting eight days is usually a better idea, since input should really exceed output before you start something like this.
.. ahh, forget the unrelated stuff. I'm too lazy.
Look how bored I am! Send me email!
Go Home! Inmediately!