I AM A REAL WORM
05/29
Strapped for creativity after an exhausting weekend of avoiding as much schoolwork as humanly possible, I've ripped this title off from the lyrics of a song entitled "Dr. Worm". Additionally, my computer is being a sluggish bitch, so this is really irritating to type. Oh, well. The time lag is kinda cool, I suppose... kinda like that effect I don't really know the name of... Doppler? Yeah.... that's it. Thanks :) Can't say I didn't try, now can you?
Silence, infidel!
I was once admonished by someone on ICQ cuz they thought I didn't know what infidel meant... Silly bastard... of course I know what it means... Anyhow, this delightful image came from the Internet Infidels' Homepage... I neglected to obtain a link, so you can't really go there... and I dunno about that belly button. Looks awfully linty from here. In other news, while looking up an infidel-related site, I came across some sort of link to a place called "Dealing with Betrayal"... Sounds like a medieval romance gone wrong or something...
A DEFINITION(OR TWO)
Infidel: (Ihn-fihd-ell): Unfaithful; one who lacks faith in one's values, moral or religious.
Pompous Jerk(Pahm-puhs Juh'rk): Bastard who thinks I don't know what infidel means >:(
MY (LATE) BIRTHDAY PARTY
Put away the cake and candles... it was two weeks ago. Unfortunately, my mother got it in her head that I deserved some sort of party... so yesterday, with two ISUs due the next day, no work done on either of them and a Physics lab to boot, I was dragged out to scenic Columbus for an afternoon of mingling with my aunts and the occasional uncle. One benefit: Having forgotten to shave, instead of the standard "Oh my! How tall you've become! I'm so hopelessly outmoded I can't even think of any good small talk!" I was instead complimented on what people assumed to be a pathetic attempt to sprout a beard. I guess it just goes to show your relatives have enough tact not to laugh in your face. Still, I shudder to think what would've happened had I actually grown a beard... Anyhow, the whole process grew rather tedious after awhile, so I went outside and immolated a spider or two. Happy Birthday indeed!
Pseudoscorpiones Neobisium... not the spider I killed. Note the long pincers and rabid death stare. This spider means business!
In other news, my page builder is being a big whore... text is causing serious lag issues here.
DIABLO TWO: FIRST BLOOD... or GET SOME REAL MIRRORS!
Well, after many long days of waiting, I was finally accepted into the Diablo II stress test. No huge accomplishment, given the hundred thousand people who were allowed in, but still nice to see just when I was getting bored with my other games. Unfortunately, I had to download the stupid thing FOUR times... Blizzard couldn't manage to saddle up any decent sites to host the freaking files! Three times I got up to 85 MB downloaded and then poof! gone. The whole thing just vanished in a cloud of smoke, leaving me to swear impotently at my screen for awhile. Ah, well. I finally got on. When the server's up, the game's actually pretty cool.. can't wait for the real thing. In retrospect, I probably should've gotten some sort of DL program to prevent my files from being zapped by the hand of God in the middle of being downloaded.
This exclusive image of God, acquired seconds before he prepared to obliterate my download. My Father, why hast thou forsaken me? Oh, right.. I haven't been to church since Christmas... Oops.
AND, SPEAKING OF GOD... HERE'S SOME MISLEADING STATISTICS!
# of Canadian Teenagers Who Believe in God: 72%
# of Canadian Teenagers Who Support Legalization of Marijuana: 41%
Not to be a cynical bastard, but you can claim just about anything if you use the right control group for your study. My personal favorite was a while ago when I heard on the radio that milk causes cancer. The basis for this incredible finding? People who drink more than six glasses of milk a week tend to develop cancer. Ok, fine... the only problem is, find me someone who isn't lactose intolerant who doesn't drink six glasses of milk a week! I HATE STATISTICS! I HATE RADIO NEWS! I HATE CANCEROUS MILK! DAMN YOU TO HELL, CANCER MILK!
Just look at this wholesome group! When polled, 50% expressed a vested interest in Pokemon, 25% were in favour of diapers, 100% weren't getting any, 75% were really bored in church last week, and 50% will grow up embittered because they can't drink coffee, alcohol, eat anything remotely appetizing, or have sex, except in approved conditions by the light of a harvest moon under God's watchful smile. Good old religion... too bad most customs came from the Church's desire to keep a hold of as many worshippers as possible. Oh, well.. we'll leave the stone age someday... maybe then Atheists won't take churches as a personal affront.
ROCKET RICHARD :(
While by no stretch a Canadiens fan, I was nonetheless sad to hear of Rocket Richard passing on last weekend. It just sucks when a legend of hockey of his magnitude dies, plain and simple. On the other hand, he did have pretty much every disease known to the elderly man, so maybe dying was the best idea he could've come up with. Anyhow, it was sad to hear.
AND IN OTHER SPORTS:
The Rocket followed the unfortunate progression of cancer of the stomach and then cancer of the everything, in the words of Kurt Vonnegut. He also had Parkinson's, spinal column troubles, a deep coma, the beginnings of Alzheimer's, and rabid Canadiens fans upset just because the Leafs are so obviously better to contend with.
Moving along, the Jays are doing surprisingly well of late... Maybe there's some hope for them yet... Of course, everyone else in the league has five or six games at hand on them. Oh, well... you can always hope.
INTREPID BABY SAYS:
Maybe it's time for little boys to go after old men for a change! Yeah... gerophilia's where it's at! Of course, I do have this GAY hat to worry about... it'll probably scare off the old guy.. oh, well.. I can still net me the old ladies...
A CLOSING THOUGHT
Why do bus crashes in Africa and India always kill hundreds of people?
A REAL CONCLUSION
Just another week and a half of real school... then I can REALLY slack off. You might think that'd mean more updating of this place, what with increased free time and all, but I usually just update when events pile up that I can complain about, so the frequency'll probably remain the same. For now, I'll close out by expressing amazement that someone actually used my email link. It works!
Ok, I'm done.
Go Home! Inmediately!
Hey... reverse psychology DOES work! Don't send me email!