NEGLECT IS BETTER SQUARED

05/28 Ah, yes. Overlapping elements. You have to love an HTML editor that allows for shitty laziness.  At any rate, it's been a while.  In that time, not a hell of a lot has happened. That said, not a hell of a lot ever happens, now does it? We're in summer now, though, so just maybe I'll be able to update more than bimonthly. If not- well, there's still one dedicated person who comes here every day without fail. Thank you, whoever you are. You have more faith in my industry than me. Bleh. Enough of that.  Time to get to the business of bitching- with sexy results! .. Well, not so much the sexy results.

Lonely? Depressed? Oh well.

castomel@hotmail.com

Bored? Ugly? Look no further.

The Archives

NOW WHAT WAS THAT THING THAT WAS PISSING ME OFF...AH, YES...

So this is really ancient news, but it irritated me to no end when I heard it, and I still can't think for the life of me why anyone would profess to have a case in this sort of situation. What am I blathering about? A fat lady.  Since I'm not in California, I can discriminate all I please against her, and discriminate I will. This lardular bag of fat and jello has decided to sue Air Canada. Why? Because they won't give her a second seat, free of charge, to accomodate her girth.  See, this is where rights and infringement and such kind of cross the line into ludicrosity.  The bloody airline is already willing to give up their seat, which they could presumably have sold to another, less gargantuan individual for full price, for half the cost of the ticket. This, I think, is more than sufficient compensation for the supposed disability of obesity. Yes, it may be genetically triggered. No, I don't care. You still have to eat a lot, sit on your ass a lot, and evidently bitch about how your rights are being infringed a lot to remain fat, and in this particular circumstance, I think the airline has been more than accomodating in their approach.  If you're THAT gigantic, you deserve to have your rights infringed. Nevertheless, this hippo woman has decided to take her case to the high court of something or other to plea for mercy.  Personally, I'd rather see her gutted, but hell-- if they give dumb bitches 90,000 dollars for dropping rum bottles and getting skewered, and other dumb bitches hundreds of thousands of dollars for getting piss drunk and then smashing up their cars, why shouldn't they give this fat old doughpile her way? Let's take it to the ridiculous extreme, in fact! Really skinny people should only have to pay half price for their seats, and children? Stow them in the baggage compartments.  Even better, let's make personalized airbags! Hell, those ones made for those puny 5'6er's sure wouldn't save me in the event of a crash.  Yes, I'd probably die horribly.  At any rate, I hope whoever litigates this particular gem of a lawsuit takes one look at her and laughs- and as an added bonus, any fat jokes would definitely be a plus. Discrimination indeed... That's almost as bad as Beef Donald's, the new moniker bestowed upon McDonald's by cow-revering protestors in India.  Wow, that was a good one, guys! Pure heckling genius. Yep, take the name of the thing you hate, the name of the reason why you hate it, and jam them together, omitting part of the word so it doesn't flow at all.  Hey, I know! Let's extend this particular fun to the wonder of this fat bitch.  Now, I hate her because she's a fat bitch, and she's a fat bitch, so that comes out to... Why, Fat fatbitch Bitch! Catchy, no?

Fatchicksinpartyhats.com- The source of this picture, and where this dumb bitch belongs.

CRACKHOUSE, CRACKHOUSE, ROLY POLY CRACKHOUSE

Wheeee.  I finally saw the place I'm gonna be living come September, and I must say, it is a very fine crackhouse indeed. Yes, it's four storeys of pure, unadulterated decrepit housing, and I for one love it. It has such features as the 5-foot ceilinged basement, the slanted roof patio, and a whole bunch of siamese fighting fish. Anyhow, the very first day I was there was a few weeks ago, and while little of note happened, there were a couple of shining moments(both of which I missed): First, some random dude, who had come from a party across the street which had been busted up by cops a while earlier(the very same cops even had the courtesy to come across the street and ask us nicely to keep it down- although I suspect they were hoping to score a few free  drug/underage drinking arrests as well), wandered into the living room, stood there, and puked all over the carpet. Then he left. Yes, truly a spectacular beginning to the evening, which would later feature a person, presumably drunk, sitting on and causing to collapse and shoot water everywhere, the sink, which had previously appeared to be in good working order. As I said, however, I missed all this fun, as I'd gone out on an expedition for some authentic hot bowl noodle. I wasn't disappointed, either- me and my friend discovered a nice little Chinese food joint and I was rewarded with a scalded mouth which stayed with me for two days, and some delicious soup, which presumably lasted slightly less long within me. Oh, well- I was drunk... so sue me.  The next morning was particularly spectacular, as I had to wake up at 7:15 and run to the train station after 8 beers and 4 hours of sleep.  I made it, though. Oh, yes. On a side note, this weekend was somewhat less glorious, as I ended up puking in(or on) a plastic bag for a while before falling asleep.  Still, I give the crackhouse 2 thumbs up.

Ever wonder what a bag of crack looked like? ...Keep wondering. These are rocks, silly!

SPORTS: NOT COMING TO A NEIGHBOURHOOD NEAR YOU

Meh. I care not to talk about sports. The Raptors melted down, the Jays have decided to go into a tailspin of sorts, and the Leafs are long since defeated. Still, there is one thing to be considered: the joy of cooking! Wait. That doesn't make any sense at all. Keep scrolling down.

Nothing to see here folks. Keep scrolling down.

CRASHING CORNERS

This corner near where I work has the absolute worst record with crashes. In the past few months, there've been three. The first was a lunatic who stole a fire truck and mashed a telephone pole. That particular feat of excellence prompted the manager to sue the town of Whitby.  The second was a regular crash, and the third was a tanker crashing with another truck, resulting in a massive oil spill. Why do I say this? I don't know. The header was here from two weeks ago when I originally tried this update. So sue me.

Yeah, it's pointless. Here's a little something to take your mnd off it.

AND IN CONCLUSION

Damn. That was short. Oh, well. Boredom'll do that to you. I guess I just don't have anything to talk about anymore.

THIS WEEK: The intrepid trio, detained by Korean prison guards, have managed to escape through the powers of adorable cuteness and the use of some as yet unidentified baby back ribs, which rumour has it were highly intrepid.  They were last seen on an inflatable raft heading in the general direction of South Africa.

INTREPID BABY SAYS:

Take a hint, bitch! No haikua means no South Africa! ... Which is to say, I'm hot! Get me a soda!

Go Home! Inmediately!