STUPID CUSTOMER TRANSCRIPTS

Part 7: 6th Blood

July 23rd

I hate people.  There is no other statement that accurately sums up my irritation. 

1. When Not to Go Food Shopping

It should be noted before relating this tale that the time of telling was 5:02 PM. 

Mc: Hello, how may I direct your call?

FS: Hello. I'm supposed to receive delivery today.  Do you have any idea when it's coming?

Mc  (Checks) You're 14th on the truck... that should be coming pretty soon.

FS:  Oh, no, no, no... That's not possible.  Our building manager sent notices out to the head offices of all the local businesses. There should be a notice in your system that says you can't deliver here after 5:00.

Mc: Well, it's still coming, so I guess we'll have to reschedule it if they're not going to be able to get in..

FS:  No, that's no good... I need that fridge tonight. 

Mc(incredulously): Well.. I don't know exactly what you want me to do here...

FS:  I need my fridge! I just bought groceries today, and they're spoiling in my cooler right now! .

Mc: I really don't see anything I can do about this..

FS:  I'm not satisfied! I am extremely unimpressed! (I am woman! Hear me bitch!)

Mc: Let me put you through to a manager.....

On a side note, this delivery went off without a hitch, although the manager had okayed a credit to the customer's account of seventy five dollars, presumably for her spoiled groceries.  I really can't fathom WHY you wouldn't WAIT until AFTER you have the fridge to BUY groceries....

There was nothing quite so satisfying as cancelling this credit. 

Animated Shorts + A Heritage Moment

1. " I WAS DEALING WITH THIS VERY PUSHY SALESMAN WHO CAME UP TO ME AND SAID HELLO, AND LATER, HE CAME BACK TO SEE IF I NEEDED HELP, AND WHEN I SAID NO, HE ASKED AGAIN!?"

2. "Hey, buddy, do you lose many sales around here?  Cuz you're about to lose one if you don't hurry the hell up!"


Mercifully, I've managed to block out the six or eight other evil bitches who came through recently... Constant exposure to stupidity tends to dull your tolerance for it, unfortunately.

FUN WITH INDIAN STATUS CARDS
It's really amazing how many native people there are in the area who look absolutely nothing at all like natives.  It's funny to see them, mostly white trash, who happen to have a cousin, fourteen times removed, who was once put down by the white man.  Anyhow, the whole thing is, they're not supposed to use these status cards unless it's for stuff delivered to reservations, and they ALWAYS use them for crap delivered to their homes. It's really annoying, particularly since they've probably never even seen a reservation.

These are (mostly real) excerpts. ..

3. Duty Knows No Bounds

Me: Hello, how may I direct your call?

TC(Screeching) I want my delivery! I ordered furniture a WEEK ago, and now it hasn't arrived!

Me(wincing): What's your order number, ma'am?

TC:(Gives order number)

Me: Well, it says here they delivered it, but the only person there was a 98-year old man...

TC:  That's because it's my old address! Isn't that changed in your computer?

Me: Is this your address? (reads address)

TC: NO!  Ooh, that makes me SO mad! I called three times, THREE times to have that changed! Why hasn't it been changed?!?

Me: Well, I can only imagine that someone forgot to change it...

TC: FORGOT? Oh, no, no.. this is ridiculous! This is unprofessional! I want to speak with a manager!

Me(puts call through)

This women did not call three times.  She didn't even call once, in fact, since there was no documentation of any sort.  Anyhow, that was just the strip she tore out of me.  She proceeded thereafter to ream out my supervisor AND manager, managing to win the prize as the most evil bitch of the succession of bitches that paraded through the store in the past week.  Grrr...

We damaged her fridge while delivering it, incidentally.

BEWARE! THE CALCULATRIX WILL DESTROY THE UNWARY!

The calculatrix is a fiendish character that lurks in furniture stores. It has limited understanding of both rudimentary mathematics and basic english, so it can't really communicate all that well.  It also can't fathom how 15% tax on 1380 dollars is not, in fact, 100 dollars.  It will ensnare you, hitting random keys on a calculator that produce 100.00 to appear on the display, and exhorting you in cajoling terms to understand how this is obviously 15%, despite the fact that a mere 10% is obviously in excess of 100 dollars.  Logic, however, is of no moment to this fiend, who will finally cause you to flee in frustration, laughing at his stupidity, only to be defeated at his own game and finally grasp the tax when random buttons are used to display a random total.  Beware this infuriating creature, or your life will surely be forfeit!

This section irritates me.  Thus,  I update it infrequently :)

Now... go back to the Main Page for more.

SUPPORT DISENFRANCHISED TRAPEZE ARTISTS! THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOO!