THE RUNNING GAG- Week of August 4th-10th, 2000

Welcome to my newest section, the running gag. The name is somewhat misleading, since this isn't really a joke.  The object of this page is to write a story; however, as I have six other sections to update, I figured I'd leave it up to my loyal visitors.  Thus, I will start the story and finish it; however, you get to supply the middle.  Email me subsequent paragraphs and they'll all get jammed on the story- regardless.  This will be intermittent, so don't plan for novels or anything.  You can send more than one paragraph, but they can't be consecutive.  Good reading!

THE GILDED RAKE

Once upon a time, there was a gilded rake.  On the whole, it was a very nice rake, with seventeen tines and a custom-formed grip on the handle allowing for better leaf-catching action.  Things were wonderful in the rake's garage until one day, something awful happened.

One of the trowels caught Mr. Smith, the nextdoor neighbour, in the bushes buggering
the leaf-blower. This of course traumatized the entire contents of the garage, not the
least of which the Gilded Rake, who had a similar experience several years back with
two evil-minded squirrels.

M

Horrible memories deluged Gildy's steel-tined mind. Skip and Wail, after months of what seemed like harmless tomfoolery, quite whimsically decided to accost the Gilded Rake (then simply known as "The Rake") in a dark corner of the garage, near the bike pump, where they proceeded to carry out the buggery.  This was quite the traumatizing experience for our hero, as the nether regions of a rake are quite hard to locate, not to mention penetrate with evil squirrel parts. Strong urges and suppressed emotions suddenly began to rise up within Gildy. He knew what he had to do. He would avenge the innocent leaf-blower and all lawn and garden tools like her. No longer would anyone suffer injustices at the hands of the reprehensible mammalians.

PE

With a heroic thrust of his shaft he burst into the air, spinning wildly about until he came down outside in the long grass.  Petrified, the squirrels could only watch dumbly as they were swept away entirely by the sheer velocity of his rake attack.  Gildy would not soon be bothered again. .

Well that story sucked ass.  I didn't leave a lot to work with, I suppose, but come on! 2 lousy submissions? Grrrrrr... Go  Home.