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Repairing the breach

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MALE DEVELOPMENT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE NEED FOR MALE DEVELOPMENT

There is an obvious need for a programme, which specifically focuses on male development. In the absence of positive male role models in the family and by extension, in the society, male development needs to be closely examined. Programmes need to be introduced which will focus on the male psyche. These must be introduced in the churches, in the curriculum of schools and other learning institutions as compulsory courses. The only way dysfunctional behaviour can be altered and therefore social direction, is by identifying the root of the problems and developing programmes to counteract the negative values embodied in such. This must begin where it is most problematic - in the male.

 

MALE DEVELOPMENT?

Why is there a need for a programme of male development? Male development in a balanced society is part of the normal developmental processes that a child goes through while becoming an adult. It is incorporated in all childhood experiences that define gender and build character. It includes growing up experiences in the home, in the school, in the community etc. It is the sum of these experiences that determine one’s values and therefore shapes one’s character. However when negative influences become dominant in a society its collective values change.  The pattern of normal or balanced development is altered and social dysfunction increases. Studies show that the male of the species is becoming increasingly marginalized. In a society that has become breeding ground for people who perpetuate the most heinous and senseless crimes, he has figured prominently as an icon of dysfunction. Today the society in which we live staggers helplessly under this onslaught of self inflicted violence.

 

PROGRAMME OF MALE DEVELOPMENT

Programmes will look at:

·        What is a man

Characteristics of a man - Masculinity, manliness, virility

That which belongs to or befits a man.

What is manhood

·        Attaining manhood/adulthood

·        Marriage

·        The role of a husband

·        The role of a father

 

(1)   MASCULINITY – The physical characteristics

The visible characteristics of the adult male are usually manifested by the presence of facial hair – moustache and beard and pubic hair. The tone and pitch of the male voice is normally lower than that of the female. Masculinity is manifested at birth, it is characterised by the penis and scrotum. Biological maturity begins when the male enters puberty. This is shown through the growth of pubic and facial hair and the deepening of the voice etc.

Homosexuality

This comes from the desire of a male to be female. It has become a growing social plague and can be attributed to (1) A weak male imaging (2) An assertive female imaging.

Homosexuality has nothing to do with genes. It has everything to do with socialisation.

 

(2) VIRILITY - Potency and Health

·        Sexuality and sensuality

·        Infatuation and lust

Sensuality - gratification of the senses, the carnal or fleshy nature; Self indulgence.

Sexuality – relating to sex, relationship between the sexes,

Infatuation - To be inspired with intense (usually) transitory fondness or admiration.

Note: fatuous – folly.

Lust – a passionate desire to gratify the flesh.

Virility – characteristic of a man; having masculine especially sexual vigour and strength; having procreative power.

Masturbation – arousal of oneself sexually or arousal of another person by manual stimulation of the genitals

 

(3) MANLINESS - The facets of manliness or male virtue.

Manliness can be described as a set of values which epitomises the growth and development of the male. Its purpose being to ensure a pivotal role in an ordered perpetuation of the species. This in turn would ensure the type of social development that would bring societies back in harmony with the purpose of the Creator. These values determine character and destiny.

 

MAN

The term MAN usually describes a human being or a male of the species Homo sapiens. It also means a person who is eminently endowed with manly qualities. When used to describe the male, it always indicates a degree of maturity whether by age, character or behaviour.  Man (as an adult male) is supposed to be a composite of three main elements, which reflect his physical, his social and his spiritual nature. These are masculinity, virility and manliness. The attainment of maturity is supposed to reflect the embodiment of these three elements. The third having to do with the development of character.

 

 

THE CHARACTER MATRIX

                                               

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Character Matrix is the conceptual centre of being. It is the place where thoughts are birthed and where emotions are nurtured. It is the place where character is moulded, the spiritual heart, womb or bowels of man. However, though character is moulded and developed within, the factors that determine it all come from outside. Environment and association determine character. It is shaped by the various social experiences we undergo in this life as we interact with each other.

Paul writes in 1 Cor 15:33        Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." (NIV)

Greek homilia - companionship; ethos - manners (moral habits).

He shows a direct correlation between one’s character and one’s relationships. 

            Now from birth we have been exposed to different sets of values as we interact with family, friends, associates and strangers. We have been exposed to family, community, institutional and general societal norms and values. All these have impacted on the shaping and development of the character matrix.

 At birth the child begins with a clean slate. Immediately it is bombarded with images, sounds and sensations. These begin the hammering out of the very pliant mould, shaping the matrix, the place where character is formed. A child is an undeveloped person who is directly influenced by (I) Authority figures (ii) Peers. Authority figures e.g. parents, teachers, supply primary reinforcement of values in the early years because from the position of dependency, the child fulfils needs through these sources of sustenance. As a result, they have direct influence over the primary values that are imparted to the child. These values are then reinforced by peers. Peer pressure can also introduce new values, which may or may not conflict with one’s primary values. The degree of influence of peer pressure is dependent on the strength of the primary values. As the child grows and interacts with various social and institutional structures, societal pressures impact upon the matrix forcing conformity to a set of values seen as acceptable. These dynamic influences determine what is seen and how it is seen. In other words, they determine the centre from which one operates and the lens through which the world is seen. They determine one’s character.

 

REBUILDING THE SPIRITUAL COMPONENT OF MAN

 

The relationship between the principle of Obedience and the law of Harvest

Conformity to the model God has defined

 

Primary attributes that are necessary for the development of character.

 

-         faith

-         hope

-         love

 

 

Secondary attributes that are necessary for effective integration

-         steadfastness

-         knowledge

-         self control (discipline)

-         patience

-         humility

-         diligence

-         peace

-         joy

-         kindness

-         gentleness

-         godliness

-         compassion (mercies)

-         forgiveness

 

The components of manly character

-         responsibility and independence

-         honour and respectability

-         honesty and integrity

-         courage and determination

-         faithfulness and reliability

 

Integrating the components of manliness

INTEGRITY

The importance of integrity

Integrity can be described as

-         Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code

-         Soundness

-         Completeness or wholeness; unity

 

LOVE as the “bond of unity”. The adhesive or cement which keeps and unites or integrates the various attributes of character.  Col 3:14

 

Each component of character is made up of one or more basic attributes.

 

To be responsible one has to be diligent, steadfast, patient and self controlled (faithful). It works with independence

Independence comes out of peace, joy, diligence, steadfastness, and self control. It works with determination.

To be respectable and honourable one has to be steadfast, humble, compassionate, forgiving, kind and gentle. It works with honesty.

Courage comes out of confidence built on faith, joy and peace. It works with determination.

Determination is built on hope, joy, diligence, steadfastness, patience and self control. It works with courage. It gives vision.

Honesty (truthfulness) is dependent on the integration of love, joy, peace, gentleness, meekness, kindness, compassion and godliness. It works with courage and integrity.

When there is integration of responsibility, independence, honour, respectability, courage, determination and honesty there is Integrity.

 

 

Manliness is described as having a man’s virtues, courageous, frank, having integrity. It is a set of characteristics that describe emotional and spiritual maturity in the male. Having a man’s virtues include being honest, independent, respectable, responsible, faithful, dependable, courageous, determined, intelligent and having integrity. The Bible teaches men to be manly. In the New Testament, Paul admonishes the Corinthians, as he closes his first letter, to BE MEN.

 

1 Cor 16:13-14            Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.

14        Let all your things be done with charity. (KJV)

 

1 Cor 16:13-14            Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.

14        Do everything in love. (NIV)

 

 

The greek word andrizo signifies "to make a man of" (aner, "a man"); in the middle voice, in

1 Cor. 16:13, "to play the man," "quit you like men." (from Vine's Expository Dictionary)

 

Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance number 407 is andrizomai middle voice from 435; to act manly: (KJV quit you like men)

 

In the Old Testament, manliness was also a highly desired quality in men. It boosted morale among the soldiers of any army. It determined victory.

 

1 Sam 4:9         Be strong, and quit yourselves like men, O ye Philistines, that ye be not servants unto the Hebrews, as they have been to you: quit yourselves like men, and fight. (KJV)

 

1 Sam 4:9         Be strong, Philistines! Be men, or you will be subject to the Hebrews, as they have been to you. Be men, and fight!" (NIV)

 

2 Sam 10:12     Be of good courage, and let us play the men for our people, and for the cities of our God: and the LORD do that which seemeth him good. (KJV)

 

Isa 46:8-11      Remember this, and shew yourselves men: bring it again to mind, O ye transgressors.

9          Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me,

10        Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure:

11        Calling a ravenous bird from the east, the man that executeth my counsel from a far country: yea, I have spoken it, I will also bring it to pass; I have purposed it, I will also do it. (KJV)

 

The Bible teaches manliness as excellence of character.

2 Pet 1:3-10     According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:

4          Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

5          And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;

6          And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;

7          And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.

8          For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

9          But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.

10                Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall: (KJV)

 

In the Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance, number 703 arete (virtue) is from the same as 730 properly, manliness (valour),  i.e. excellence (intrinsic or attributed): KJV -- praise, virtue.

Note: Strong’s number 730 is arrhen  male, man

 

The Bible teaches us to think as mature people.

1 Cor 14:20     Brethren, be not children in understanding: howbeit in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men. (KJV)

 

1 Cor 14:20     Brethren, be not children in mind: yet in malice be ye babes, but in mind be men. (ASV)

 

teleios  perfect, is translated "men" in 1 Cor. 14:20, RV marg., "of full age," KJV marg., "perfect, or, of a ripe age." See PERFECT.

(from Vine's Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words) (Copyright (C) 1985, Thomas Nelson Publishers)

 

THE PERFECT MAN

The complete man must have these three sets of characteristics. He must be -

(1) Masculine - emphasises the peculiar and distinctive characteristics of the male of the human species, especially those attributes distinguishing men from women.

(2) Virile - this implies manifestation of sexual potency typical of manhood.

(3) Manly - having those mental and spiritual characteristics considered desirable in a man, as courage, integrity, independence and determination etc.

 

Scriptural References on character development:

1 Tim 4:6-12    If you point these things out to the brothers, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, brought up in the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed.

7          Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.

8          For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

9          This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance

10        (and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe.

11        Command and teach these things.

12        Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. (NIV)

 

1 Tim 6:11        But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.(NIV)

 

2 Tim 2:22-26              Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

23        But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes.

24        And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,

25        In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;

26        And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will. (KJV)

 

Col 3:12-14     Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

13        Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

14        And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (NIV)

 

Gal 5:22-23      But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

23                gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (NIV)

 

2 Pet 1:3-10     His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

4          Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

5          For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge;

6          and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness;

7          and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.

8          For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

9          But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

10                Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, (NIV)

 

Matt 5:8           Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. (KJV)

 

Matt 5:48         Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (NIV)

 

Matt 6:22-23    The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.

23        But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness! (KJV)

 

MAJOR DEFINITIONS USED IN DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMME

ATTRIBUTE – A quality ascribed to a person or thing; a characteristic quality.

COURAGE - Quality enabling one to face danger or difficulties without fear; bravery, boldness

DEPENDABILITY - Capable of being depended on; reliable

DETERMINATION - act of reaching a decision; ascertainment after consideration, observation, investigation or calculation; settlement on a course of action; fixing of purpose.

DILIGENCE – Marked by or done with persevering, painstaking effort and care; note from latin word diligere – to love

ETHICS – A principle of right or good conduct or a body of such principles; a system of moral principles or values.

FAITHFULNESS - Steadfast in loyalty and devotion; trustworthy; allegiance

GODLINESS – The state of being godly or pious; godlike

HONESTY -  State or quality of displaying truthfulness, fairness, as in character, principles, or actions; chaste, virtuous

HONOUR - Strong adherence to or sense of what is right or moral; integrity; high respect, glory, credit, reputation, good name.

INDEPENDENCE - State of not being influenced, guided or determined by others; not subject to external control or rule

INFATUATION - Being inspired with intense (usually) transitory fondness or admiration. Note: fatuous – folly.

INTEGRITY - Moral uprightness; honesty; sincerity: State, quality, or condition of being complete; wholeness. From Latin integer whole

MAN - Human Being; Human Race; Adult Male; eminently endowed with manly qualities; Husband

MANHOOD - State of being a man (in any sense); manliness, courage, the men of a country

MANLINESS - Having a man’s virtues, courage, frankness, etc.; Having those mental characteristics and virtues considered desirable in a man

MASCULINITY - Quality or state of having the peculiar and distinctive characteristics of the male of the human species, especially those attributes distinguishing men from women.

NORMS - Rules, standards or patterns, as of behaviour

OBEDIENCE – act of obeying or complying with something, as a rule, order or law; submissive to authority.

PEACE – Harmonious relationship between men or between men and God

RELIABILITY - Can be depended on with confidence; trustworthy

RESPECT - Regard for or appreciation of the fundamental worth or value of someone or something.

RESPECTABILITY - State, quality, or condition of having or showing proper or approved standards of conduct; honest and decent.

RESPONSIBLE - Morally accountable for one’s actions; respectable; evidently trustworthy.

RESPONSIBILITY - State, quality, or condition of being faithful to obligations; trustworthy; reliable; the ability to act independently and make decisions

SENSUALITY - gratification of the senses, the carnal or fleshy nature; Self indulgence.

SEXUALITY – relating to sex, relationship between the sexes,

STEADFAST – Fixed or unchanging, steady; firmly loyal or constant

VALOUR - outstanding courage, great bravery; (Bible) force, army, strength, virtue, wealth

VALUES - principles or standards of an individual or group; ideals

VIRTUE – quality of righteousness, goodness or moral excellence; any good quality or admirable trait of character.

VIRILITY – characteristic of a man; having masculine especially sexual vigour and strength; having procreative power.

VIRTUE - quality of righteousness, goodness or moral excellence, any good quality or admirable trait of character; (Bible) manliness (valour), i.e. excellence (intrinsic or attributed)

WISDOM – ability to perceive or determine what is good, true or sound; common sense or sound judgement.

(OXFORD CONCISE AND COLLIER’S DICTIONARIES) (Bible - Strongs Dictionary)