The RPG Party- Part 1: "The Party Begins"

By: Kacie

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Cloud, Tifa, and Barret have just arrived at their vacation destination. It turns out, the cabin isn't quite the resort Tifa was expecting.
In fact, it's a run down old place with only an outhouse, a kitchen, four bedrooms, a celler, and a main room.

Cloud: Well guys, it looks like we're here.

Barret: What kind of $%#&*#^ place is this?

Tifa: NOOOOOO!!! This isn't what I was expecting! WAAAHH!!!! *Begins to cry on Cloud's shoulder*

Cloud: Uh, get off Tifa. You know, I really shouldn't have used a company with "Cheap Cabins" in their name.

Barret walks over to the door and opens it. Unfortunately, the door falls over.

Barret: (@#%(*%@#@(*%&%_(*@_*%%#^*$&*%(*&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Throws the door across the front yard and walks in*

Cloud: Well, at least there's a TV...

Barret: All right! Somebody left beer here! *Takes out beer bottle and pours big glasses for himself and Cloud*

Cloud: YESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Takes a drink* Ewwww!!!! This beer is SOUR? Haven't they ever paid attention to those Budweiser commercials that talk about fresher beer?

Tifa: You know guys, you do the exact same thing during out "Avalanche meetings," drink beer and watch whatever's on.

Cloud: Well, do you have any better ideas? *Does the famous 'Cloud Shrug'*

Barret: All right, someone left movies here!

Tifa: What movies? *Goes over and looks* Uh, porn movie, porn movie, oh my god, the owners of this place are sickos!

Cloud: Oh wait, here's a real movie at the bottom of the pile.

Tifa: TITANIC!!!!!!!! I LOVE TITANIC!!!!!! I LOVE LEO!!!!!!!

Barret: I think I'd rather watch a porn movie. *Takes Titanic and shoots the video so that it won't work anymore*

Cloud: You know, that Kate Winslet is pretty hot....

Barret: TRAITOR!!!! You little bastard! *Shoots Cloud in the leg*

Cloud: Mother.....*Winces in pain*

Tifa: How dare you hurt my precious Cloud! *Hands Cloud a restore materia and glares at Barret.*

Cloud: Thanks Tifa. You sure know to be prepared! You know what, that's the boyscout motto......

Barret: All right, enough, let's start a movie. *Picks up 'American Pie'*

Cloud: Hey wait a minute, American Pie isn't a porn movie! Barret, pick another one!

Tifa: Actually, the new version out on video is rated NC-17...... *Everyone ignores her*

Barret: Okay. *Reaches in the pile and grabs Eyes Wide Shut, European Version* How's this?

Cloud: PERFECT! I want to see Nicole Kidnam naked!

Tifa: Why you little....*Slaps Cloud*

Cloud: Owwww, uh why do you care?

Tifa: Um, uh hehe, never mind.

Barret: I think Tifa meant she wants to be in the movie instead.

Tifa: ewwwwww!!!!!! No way!!!!!

Cloud: What if I was in it, too, in place of Tom Cruise?

Tifa: Um, well, maybe..........

Barret: Ha! Told you! Now, can we start the #$%^&@ movie? *Places Eyes Wide Shut into the machine and presses play*

Tifa: I'm not watching it! *Runs into kitchen. Just as she reaches it, a loud crashing sound is heard. She casually looks out the window and notices a huge airship*

Meanwhile, Barret and Cloud also hear the sound, turn off the movie, and run into the kitchen to see what's going on.

Barret: What the *@%&(&% is that piece of crap?

Cloud: I think it's a downed plane. But I can't quite read the name of it- I knew I should have listened to the doctor about getting
those dorky looking pieces of plastic! *Squints to try and figure out the name of it*

Tifa: Uh guys, I think I can figure it out. It says ' The Yuck Drasil.' Uh, never mind, the Yggdrasil.

Barret: Hell, I can hear some people in there!

Cloud: Same, But I can't hear what they're saying, let's just wait until they come out.....

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Meanwhile, in the Yggdrasil III....

Bart: God, I knew I should've taken Sigurd with me!!!!!!

Margie: You got that right, you stupid cousin!

Bart: Shut the hell up and help me figure out what's wrong. *Bart and Margie run out of the ship to try and figure just what happened to the ship. As they walk out, they notice a cabin right next to them*

Margie: Aww, look at the cute cabin. I wonder if there's people in it. *Walks over to it and notices that there are three people starting at them through the window* Oh my god, it's-it's, it's our competition! Some of the characters from Final Fantasy 7!

Bart: Great, perfect timing. *Walks over and attempts to open the back door. The door not only falls off, it explodes*
AHHHHH!!!!!!!! What kind of trap is this!

Meanwhile, the Final Fantasy 7 members present have walked outside to see who the strangers are.

Barret: &$*)(@*@)!!!!!!!!! It's Bart and Margie from Xenogears! NOOOO!!!! *Lifts his gun up at Margie*

Bart: Run, Margie! Back into the Yggdrasil!!!!!!

Margie: Right behind you!! *Bart and Margie run inside, leaving Barret, Cloud, and Tifa standing there*

Tifa: You shouldn't have done that, Barret. I mean, I know they come from a rival RPG and everything, but Squaresoft made them, too!

Cloud: Let's just stay outside until they come out again. There's no way they'll get that pile of shit out of here.

Tifa: No, I want to go inside!

Barret: So we can watch the porn movie?

Tifa: Uh, actually, let's stay outside.

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Back on the Yggdrasil (Again!)

Chu-Chu: What happened to chu all back there?

Bart: Nothing important. Look, can you go find Fei and Elly while Margie and I figure out what's wrong with the Yggdrasil?

Chu-Chu: I know where they are. Don't chu? Well, if chu don't know, they would probably not appreciate me telling chu. Especially since- oops, never mind, go back chu what chu were doing.

Bart: Just forget it! *Throws hands up in disgust* Come on Margie.....

Margie: Uh, I'll find them when we're done, Bart. *Bart achknowledges her comment, and then they walk over to the back of the Yggdrasil. On the way, they notice that Elly's room is empty*

Bart: Odd, I thought she was taking a nap! *Also notices that Fei's room, next door, is empty* Well, I may be King, but this makes no sense to me! If they're not in their rooms, where the hell are they?

Margie: Come on Bart, let's just get this over with, and then we can figure it out. *Bart and Margie examine the engines. After looking for a long time, they notice no obvious problems*

Bart: Looks like we just experienced sudden, unexplainable engine failure. Looks like we'll have to stay here for awhile.

Margie: But what about the Final Fantasy 7 cast?

Bart: I guess we'll just have to bond with them, or something...Come on, we should go apoligize for what happpened earlier so they'll let us stay. *Grabs Margie's hand and begins running*

Margie: Wait! What about Elly and Fei?

Bart: Uh, oh yeah, right. *Screeches to a halt* Well, let's check out the halls! *After checking every single room in the Yggdrasil, including the gear hanger and shop, there is no sign of them*

Margie: They're not in their rooms, they're not on the deck, they're not working on their gears, so where the hell are they?

Bart: Let's look later. *On the way back, he sees Chu-chu and remembers he knew where Fei and Elly are* Uh, Chu-chu, could you tell me where they are?

Chu-chu: Uh, um, uh, um, uh, well, I, um I, uh, um, I- forgot! Yeah, I forgot! Sorry! *Bart looks at her in disgust and continues walking to the door.*

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Back outside the Cabin

Tifa: God, how long could they take?

Cloud: Maybe they're, oh wait, she looks a little young for that.

Tifa: Do guys always have that one thing on their mind?

Barret and Cloud: Uh-huh.

Tifa is about to reply, but notices Margie and Bart walking out.

Cloud: Looks like they're back. With pretty depressed looks. *Bart walks over to Barret, and Margie to Tifa*

Margie: We're sorry about how we acted earlier.

Barret: We are too. That's why we waited out here. So, any luck?

Bart: It looks like the Yggdrasil is down for good. Do you think that maybe we could stay here for a little while?

Cloud: Uh, I guess so. We were about to watch a porn movie. Wanna join us, guys?

Bart: WOO HOO!!!!! *Margie glares at him* Uh, actually, I'm not into the stuff.

Margie and Tifa huddle together and whisper. After a few minutes, they come out their huddle.

Tifa: We have a good idea that will keep you guys from watching dirty movies.

Margie: We think- we should all have a party!

Bart, Cloud, and Barret: We don't want no powder puff party!

Margie: Actually, I have some proof that it won't be like that. Just give me a minute. *Runs on to Yggdrasil*

Cloud: What's she gonna do?

Tifa: I don't know, she didn't tell me!

Bart: I think she's probably looking for Fei and Elly. Maybe she thinks they'll convince us somehow.

Tifa: Hey, I saw them on TV yesterday! Uh, hehe, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that...... *Everyone goes inside and waits for Margie to come out*

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In the Yggdrasil (Getting familiar, huh?)

Margie: Hmm, where could they have gone? *Thinks a little* Hmm, I know, Maybe they're INSIDE their gears! *Goes inside Weltall but instead of finding me she finds- a young boy and a rat!*

Ash: Uh, looks like we've been discovered.

Margie: What are you doing on my cousin's ship? *Notices pikachu* EEEEEKKK!!!! A RAT!!!

Ash: This is no rat, it's a pokemon. His name is pikachu.

Pikachu: Pika pika pikachu! (Hi Margie! I've played your video game!)

Margie: Oh my god, you're that guy from Pokemon! I love that game! Well, I guess you guys can stay. Just go out to the deck, I've gotta find a couple people.

Ash: Oh, those two people in that big gear next to us?

Margie: They're in Vierge? Thanks for the help! *Runs into Vierge*

Ash: Uh, you may not want to just waltz right in there- oops, she's already walked in. Hmmm, this should be interesting.

Margie: Hey guys, time to get out! *Sees Elly and Fei naked on the floor* Um, maybe this is a bad time...

Elly and Fei: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Margie: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs out of Vierge and into Ash*

Ash: See, I told you!!!

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5 Minutes later, back in the cabin

Margie: So guys, you guys could do what they were doing! It's that kind of party! *Just then, Elly and Fei walk in in their underwear*

Cloud: Uh, what exactly were they doing again? *Looks at them strangely*

Fei: We were, you know-

Barret: All right, this is better than porn movies! Maybe we should have this party!

Cloud: I'm starting to agree! *does Cloud Shrug for the second time*

Elly: What party?

Bart: We'll explain later.

Ash: I can invite the rest of the pokemon cast over!

Bart: Wait a minute, how did Ash and Pikachu from pokemon manage to make it here?

Pikachu: Pikachu!! (stowaways!) *Pikachu and Ash exchange a high five*

Bart: WHAT? You guys were hiding in the Yggdrasil? Oh well, I'll forgive you since you're inviting more people to the party.

Tifa: Cloud, Barret, and I can invite the rest of the Final Fantasy 7 cast.

Chu-chu: I can invite the rest of the Xenogears characters!

Barret: All righty, sounds like we've got out party and our guests all set up!

Fei: And you never know what sort of mystery guests could show up, too! Although Elly and I still aren't sure exactly sure how we inspired it.....Oh, by the way, would you let us get some clothes on? It's kind of embarassing standing here in boxers!

Bart: Sure, go ahead. *Fei and Elly go running off*

Cloud: So, are we ready to start the party?

Everyone: YOU BET!!!!!!!

Cloud: So, the party is officially starting........RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

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