The RPG Party- Prologue: "We need a Vacation"
By: Kacie
Author's Notes: All right, I admit it, this story will probably look really boring in this part. But the party hasn't started yet, has it? Come on, give this fic a chance! Prolouges are bad in every fanfic!
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The three members of Avalanche sat around, not getting anywhere in their meeting. Everyone seemed tired and nauseous.
Barret: Oh, forget the meeting. Let's just drink beer and watch some TV.
Cloud: Sounds good!
Barret went to get the drinks, while Tifa turned the TV on.
Tifa: *flips channels* Looks like nothing good is on.
Cloud: Yeah really. *sighs* I'm @#%$^# bored.
Barret arrived with the drinks. Cloud and Barret took the buds, but Tifa refused.
Tifa: Sorry, I have to stay thin.
Barret: You mean you really don't get liposuction?
Tifa: Well, uh, hehe, uh.......
Cloud: So THAT'S how your boobs got so big! Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
Tifa: SHUT UP YOU LITTLE *#$(@%((!%^@$()%^%(*&%#@()*%&()%!!! *Lets off a string of swear words*
Barret: I thought only I could swear like that!
Luckily, the embarrassing conversation is saved by the TV.
TV: And now we bring you a special report on video RPGs and the heroes.
Cloud: All right, we must be in this!
TV: Here is the hottest RPG/TV Show of 1999. Presenting: The cast of pokemon!
A young boy, girl, and a teenage boy appear on the set.
Cloud: They're in an RPG? I'd just like to see them beat our sales record.....
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TV Show
Ash: Hey, I'm Ash Ketchum! I rule! I'm the coolest!
Misty: No, I'm the coolest! Girl power!
Ash: No, I am!
Misty: I am!
Ash: I AM you little-
Brock: If you two don't shut up I'm going to take out Vulpix and have it firespin your little asses!
Ash: Misty, you head him! Let's gang up on him!
Misty: Great idea, Ashie boy!
Ash: Squirtle, go!
Misty: Starmie, go!
Of course, Psyduck comes out.
Misty: You stupid pokemon! Oh well, just get that guy with the dark hair!
Brock: Vulpix, go!
Suddenly, all three pokemon begin to shoot fire and water at each other. The fight continues on for a long.........long.........long...........time.
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Tifa put the TV on mute.
Tifa: Well, this is really sad.
Barret: I'm feelin @#$% stressed, I'm feelin @$#% stressed.....
Cloud: Anyway, what's with us always having to be the heroes? It's just, well, ya know, feelin what Barret said!
Tifa: Well, I think we could all use a vacation.
Barret and Cloud: A (%&(@$(&@%& vacation? WHY!!??
Tifa: Oh, forget it. I'm turning the TV back on.
Tifa turned it on just in time to see the next RPG guests. The guys ignored the TV and continued to chug their beers.
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TV: And here is our last guest, our favorite RPG of all time: XENOGEARS!!!!! And with us today, we have the two stars, Fei and Elly!
Fei: Hey, I'm Fei, also known as 'The Contact.'
Elly: And I'm Elly, the Anti-Contact. And you know what? I love Fei!
Fei and Elly begin to hug and kiss, ignoring everyone around them.
TV: Um, Fei, Elly?
Fei and Elly: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
TV: Uh, could you maybe tell us about the plot of the story?
Fei: Let's just say-
Elly: Let's just say you've gotta see the ending! Oh wow, perhaps we should reenact the first half of the ending right here Fei....
Fei: Great idea!
TV: Um, guys, I don't think that's a good idea, uh, I really don't need this show rated Mature, uh, hello?
Suddenly, the TV goes black and the words 'Censored' are proudly displayed.
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This time, Tifa decided to turn off the TV.
Tifa: We're getting beat out in sales by this sex crap! AHHHHH!!!!!!
Barret: I thought your secret sexual fantasy was to do it with Cloud in the ending of the game, and then-
Tifa: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!! *ties Barret's mouth up*
Cloud: I'm starting to think you were right about that vacation...
Tifa: All right, a supporter! Where do you think we should go?
Barret: alnvoasdosalkmvlm;slknvohsnl
Tifa: Yes, perfect idea Barret, a secluded cabin in the mountains!
Cloud: We can all run away from our rejection problems!
Tifa: Let's start packing!
Tifa runs out of the room joyously, but a Cloud stops to untie Barret.
Barret: But, but, but- &%()@#)(%&*)*&@%)()(@%!!!!!!!!!!!
Cloud: Oh shut your hole, Barret, we're leaving tomorrow!
Barret grunted and thought to himself that a hangover would make them forget everything, too.
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End of Prologue